UC-NRLF 


1DM 


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REMINISCENCES 


OF 


FIFTY    YFABS. 


BY 

MARK    BOYD 


"A  CHIELD'8  AMANG  YE  TAKING  NOTES.Y 


NEW  YORK : 
D.     APPLETON    AND    COMPANY, 

549   &   551    BROADWAY. 
1871. 


/1 -3 


DEDICATION. 


TO  THE  COLONISTS  OF  AUSTRALIA  AND 
NFW  ZEALAND. 

GENTLEMEN  : 

Ix  dedicating  to  you  my  "  Rsminiscences  "  I  feel  called 
upon  to  offer  the  following  explanation  : 

From  the  year  1843  to  1853,  as  is  well  known  to  many 
of  our  Australian  community,  I  was  earnestly  engaged  in 
what  Lord  Bacon  describes  as  "  the  heroic  work  of  coloniza 
tion,"  and  many  of  my  happiest  days  were  spent  in  friendly 
intercourse  with  those  who  have  made  Australia  and  New 
Zealand  the  lands  of  their  adoption,  either  for  themselves 
or  for  members  of  their  families,  and  with  some  of  whom  I 
still  keep  up  a  warm  friendship  and  an  interesting  corre 
spondence. 

One  very  hot  day  last  summer,  while  seeking  shade  un 
der  a  tree  in  Oatlands  Park,  Surrey,  an  esteemed  friend  came 
to  me  with  a  book  in  his  hand. 

He  is  an  Englishman,  with  strong,  very  strong  national 
predilections,  always  ready  for  a  tilting-match  with  me  or 
any  other  Scotchman  who  may  venture  to  maintain  that 

ivil83685 


4  DEDICATION. 

"  haggis  "  and  oatmeal  "  parritcli  "  are  preferable  to  roast 
beef  and  plum-pudding.  But  on  this  occasion,  an  entirely 
exceptional  one,  he  was  complimentary  to  my  nation,  and 
addressing  my  wife,  who  is  English,  asked  her  "  if  she  hud 
ever  read  Dean  Ramsay's  Reminiscences  of  Scottish  Life  and 
Character  ?  "  I  will  not  undertake  to  say  what  would  have 
been  her  answer,  had  I  been  absent.  However,  her  ivply 
was  simply  that  she  had  not  read  the  work.  "  Then.  Madam, 
you  will  find  it  most  entertaining.  Here  it  is :  I  have  just 
finished  its  perusal  for  the  third  time.  Desire  your  hus 
band  to  read  some  of  it  daily  to  you,  and  I  vouch  for  it 
making  you  laugh  as  heartily  as  I  have  done.  Moreover, 
you  will  discover  that  it  possesses  wonderful  sedative  and 
soothing  qualities,  which,  while  being  administered,  will  al 
lay  those  neuralgic  pains  from  which  you  and  myself  suffer 
so  severely." 

Another  friend — one  of  the  most  estimable  men  I  ever 
knew  throughout  a  period  of  forty  years,  nearly  twenty  of 
which  we  sat  together  as  co-directors  at  the  London  Board 
of  a  wealthy  and  successful  Scotch  Insurance  Company — 
was  the  late  Mr.  Isaac  Sewell  of  Gresham  House,  Old  Broad 
Street,  and  Wanstead,  Essex,  a  man  whose  humor  and  point 
in  relating  an  anecdote,  or  in  giving  effect  to  an  amusing 
speech,  at  all  times  charmed  our  social  circle.  He  often 
said  to  me  :  "  You  cannot  only  relate  your  Scotch  anecdotes 
in  the  vernacular,  but  be  a  glossary  at  the  same  time  to 
your  English  hearers ;  why  not  then  sketch  out  some  of  your 
Anglo-Scotch  reminiscences,  as  you  can  say  '  Shibboleth ' 
on  both  banks  of  the  Jordan  ?  "  Be  that  as  it  may,  although 
born  near  the  Thames,  in  the  county  of  Surrey,  I  spent  my 


DEDICATION.  5 

earliest  years  near  the  Cree,  in  the  county  of  Wigton.  There 
was  no  man  whose  advice  I  more  frequently  sought  and  fol 
lowed  than  Mr.  Sewell's  ;  still,  I  must  here  observe  that  until 
I  read  the  Very  Reverend  Dean's  work  I  had  as  much  inten 
tion  of  making  a  collection  of  my  own  reminiscences,  much 
less  of  publishing  them,  as  I  have  at  present  of  commencing 
the  study  of  Arabic.  My  olla  podrida  is  composed  of  anec 
dotes  which  I  have  heard,  among  others  from  my  late  father, 
wrho  came  to  London  when  William  IV.  was  a  "  jolly  luff " 
in  the  Royal  Navy,  and  when  Rodney  had  but  just  achieved 
his  memorable  victory  in  the  West  Indies  over  the  French 
fleet  commanded  by  Comte  de  Grasse.  He  recollected  Ers- 
kine  a  midshipman,  and  knew  him  as  Lord  Chancellor. 
He  had  witnessed  the  national  incense  rise  over  Rodney, 
Howe,  St.  Vincent,  Hotham,  Bridport,  and  Duncan,  and  had 
witnessed  the  tomb  close  over  Nelson  in  St.  Paul's.  He  had 
the  honor  of  being  known  to  Mr.  Pitt,  with  whom  he  was 
in  frequent  personal  intercourse  from  1790  until  the  death 
of  that  illustrious  statesman  in  1806  ;  and  I  may  here  add 
that  until  my  father's  death  in  1844,  he  possessed  one  of 
the  most  retentive  and  vigorous  memories  I  almost  ever  met 
with.  From  this  and  other  sources,  and  from  the  fact  that 
I  have  resided  in  London  for  upward  of  forty  years,  I  have 
been  able  to  throw  together  a  miscellaneous  collection  of 
anecdotes  which  I  hope  may  entertain  the  reader. 

I  have  given  my  authorities,  where  necessary ;  and  I 
hope  that  I  may  be  considered  entitled  to  say,  with  refer 
ence  to  them,  "  nothing  extenuate,  nor  set  down  aught  in 
malice."  My  aim  has  been  to  keep  closely  before  me  the 
advice  of  the  poet : 


6  DEDICATION.     .. 

"  A  story  to  please  should  at  least  be  true, 
Be  d  propos,  concise  and  new ; 
Whene'er  it  differs  from  these  rules, 
The  wise  will  sleep,  and  leave  applause  to  fools." 

I  have  now  only  to  express  a  sanguine  hope  that  the 
advice  of  Mr.  Pitt  to  his  private  secretary  given  in  my  first 
anecdote,  which  Earl  Stanhope  did  me  the  honor  to  include 
in  his  "  Pittiana,"  may  be  followed  by  my  readers.  "  Never 
lose  your  temper,  if  possible,  at  any  time,  and  NEVER  dur 
ing  the  hours  of  business,"  or — while  perusing  the  anecdotes 
and  reminiscences  of,  Gentlemen, 

Your  Faithful  Servant, 

MARK  BOYD. 

OATLANDS,  WALTON  ON  THAMES,  SURREY, 
January,  1871. 


THE 

REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 


1.  Mr.  Pitt  and  his  Private  Secretary. 

THE  following  circumstance  was  told  me  by  the  late 
Mr.  Christmas,  who  for  many  years  held  an  important 
official  situation  in  the  Bank  of  England.  He  was,  I  be 
lieve,  in  early  life  a  clerk  in  the  Treasury,  or  one  of  the 
government  offices,  and  for  some  time  acted  for  Mr.  Pitt 
as  his  confidential  clerk,  or  temporary  private  secretary. 
Christinas  was  one  of  the  most  obliging  men  I  ever  knew, 
and,  from  the  position  he  occupied,  was  constantly  exposed 
to  interruptions,  yet  I  never  saw  his  temper  the  least  ruf 
fled.  One  day  I  found  him  more  than  usually  engaged, 
having  a  mass  of  accounts  to  prepare  for  one  of  the  law 
courts  :  still  his  equanimity  was  unruffled,  and  I  could  not 
resist  the  opportunity  of  asking  the  old  gentleman  to  give 
me  the  secret.  "  Well,  Mr.  Boyd,  you  shall  know  it.  Mr. 
Pitt  gave  it  to  me : — Not  to  lose  my  temper,  if  possible,  at 
any  time,  and  NEVER  during  the  hours  of  business.  My 
labors  here  (the  Bank  of  England)  commence  at  nine  and 
end  at  three ;  and,  acting  on  the  advice  of  the  illustrious 
statesman,  I  never  lose  my  temper  during  these  hours." 

He  also  related  to  me  an  instance  which  came  under 
his  own  observation  of  Mr.  Pitt's  extraordinary  powers  of 
mental  and  physical  endurance.  Mr.  Pitt  had  been  im- 


8  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

mersed  all  day  in  intricate  accounts  with  Mr.  Christmas  (I 
assume  preparing  for  the  conflict  of  a  War  Budget),  when, 
looking  at  the  hour,  he  said,  "  I  must  now  go  to  the  House, 
but  shall  return  as  early  as  I  can,  although  I  fear  we  shall 
have  a  late  sitting."  It  proved  so,  as  he  did  not  rejoin  his 
secretary  until  six  in  the  morning.  He  had  something  kind 
to  say  to  Christmas  for  still  keeping  at  his  work,  adding, 
"  I  must  now  have  a  wash,"  and  going  to  the  end  of  the 
room,  threw  off  his  coat  and  neckcloth,  and  applied  a  wet 
towel  to  his  head  and  face. 

When  this  improvised  ablution  was  over,  he  declared  to 
his  fidus  Achates  that  he  was  quite  fresh  and  ready  for 
business,  and  for  four  hours  he  was  hard  at  work  in  going 
through  the  accounts  which  Mr.  Christmas  had  prepared 
during  the  night. 

Although  Mr.  Pitt  rarely  lost  his  temper,  it  is  said  that 
on  one  occasion  he  was  seriously  angry  with  Sheridan, 
whom  he  told  to  his  face  that  he  would  be  much  better  oc 
cupied  at  home  correcting  his  plays.  "  Probably  I  should," 
said  Richard  Brinsley,  "  and  the  first  I  shall  endeavor  to 
correct  will  be  the  i  Angry  Schoolboy.' " 

2.   The  Duke  of  Wellington  at  the  Highland  Society. 

It  used  to  be  said  by  the  members  of  the  Highland  So 
ciety  of  London,  some  twenty-five  years  ago,  especially  by 
those  who  knew  him  in  private  life,  that  the  Duke  had 
never  been  seen  to  laugh  so  heartily  as  at  one  of  our  meet 
ings.  If  my  memory  serves  me,  the  late  Duke  of  Cam 
bridge  was  in  the  chair,  supported  on  the  right  by  the 
Duke  of  Wellington,  next  to  whom  sat  the  head  of  his 
clan,  General  Sir  Fitzroy  Maclean.  His  royal  highness 
called  for  a  toast  to  be  drunk  with  Highland  honors,  but 
the  Duke  always  shunned  that  portion  of  a  Scotchman's 
toast.  Sir  Fitzrov  should  have  followed  the  Duke's  ex- 


THE   LAST   TIME   I  SAW   THE   DUKE.  9 

ample,  for  he  was  the  same  age  as  his  grace,  if  not  his 
senior  by  one  or  two  years.  To  rny  English  friends  who 
have  not  witnessed  Highland  honors,  I  must  explain,  that 
whenever  the  proposer  of  the  toast  has  concluded  his 
speech,  adding  Highland  honors,  every  one,  unless  incapa 
citated  from  age,  is  expected  to  mount  his  chair,  with  his 
glass  in  hand — a  bumper — and  put  his  right  foot  on  the 
table,  supporting  himself  on  his  left,  which  is  on  the  chair. 
The  first  round  of  cheers  had  been  given,  when  Sir  Fitzroy's 
foot  slipped  from  the  edge  of  the  table,  and  the  gallant  old 
Highland  chieftain  fell  at  full  length  across  it.  As  a  natural 
consequence,  all  decanters,  glasses,  fruit-dishes,  fruit-plates, 
were  smashed ;  but  this  was  not  all,  for  in  his  struggle  to 
recover  himself  he  swept  the  table  with  his  arms  to  the 
right  and  left,  so  that  the  area  of  damage  was  very  exten 
sive.  Much  anxiety  was  at  first  felt  for  the  worthy  old 
veteran,  but  fortunately  he  escaped  without  injury. 

The  Duke  laughed  most  heartily,  and  during  the  rest 
of  the  evening  he  more  than  once  turned  round  to  Sir 
Fitzroy  and  returned  to  the  subject.  "  Ah,  Maclean,"  said 
the  Duke,  "  I  have  been  content  with  English  honors,  and 
I  should  advise  you  henceforth  to  dispense  with  Scotch 
ones,  after  dinner  at  least !  For  myself,"  said  the  Duke, 
"  I  always  thought  Scotch  honors  after  a  good  dinner  were 
more  honored  in  the  breach  than  in  the  observance." 

3.   The  Last  Time  I  saw  the  Dulce. 

One  day  in  September,  1852,  I  was  inside  an  omnibus 
in  the  Haymarl^et,  going  to  Piccadilly,  Pall  Mall  being 
closed  at  the  time.  There  was  a  stoppage,  but  never  were 
passengers  in  a  public  conveyance  less  inclined  to  move  on. 
"We  were  blocked  up;  so  was  the  Duke  of  Wellington, 
who  was  riding  behind  us.  His  horse's  head  was  at  the 
door  of  our  omnibus,  and  there,  for  more  than  five  minutes, 


10  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

did  we  study  the  universally  familiar  features  of  the  great 
man.  He  was  looking  remarkably  well.  Two  ladies  in  the 
omnibus,  when  told  that  the  Duke  was  there,  congratulated 
themselves,  on  their  first  visit  to  London,  in  being  so  for 
tunate  as  to  see  the  long  observed  of  all  the  wide  world's 
observers.  His  dress  was  a  blue  surtout,  white  waistcoat 
and  trousers.  We  all  agreed  that,  from  his  appearance,  he 
had  several  years  to  live. 

How  erroneous  the  anticipation  !  "Within  a  week  from 
that  day,  a  sorrowing  empire  heard  the  news  of  the  Duke's 
sudden  death  at  Walmer. 

This  anecdote  I  related  at  the  time  to  a  Liverpool  gen 
tleman,  who  inserted  it  in  one  of  the  local  papers. 

4.   The  Duke's  Penetration  of  Character. 

When  any  officer  of  rank  joined  the  Duke  in  the  Penin 
sula,  on  his  arrival  from  England  he  was  asked  to  dine  at 
headquarters,  and  sat  at  the  Duke's  right  hand.  On  such 
occasions  military  subjects  were  dispensed  with;  but  the 
Duke  was  at  the  same  time  sifting  the  qualities  of  the  new 
comer  through  the  common  topics  of  the  day.  One  un 
happy  wight,  however,  a  major-general,  a  rollicking,  free- 
and-easy  son  of  Mars,  launched  into  military  matters  with 
the  Duke,  in  preference  to  continuing  the  chit-chat  about 
England.  The  Duke  parrie'd  his  remarks  for  some  time ; 
but  as  he  persevered,  his  grace  so  far  gratified  him  as  to  ask 
his  opinion.  The  officer  expressed  himself  as  deeply  anx 
ious  at  the  critical  position  in  which  the  army  then  was. 
The  Duke  allowed  him  to  proceed.  "  If,"«aid  the  enlight 
ened  major-general  (the  Duke  requesting  him  to  explain  his 
movements  on  the  tablecloth),  "  the  French  moved  there, 
and  then  did  this,  and  then  did  that,  which  they  would  in 
evitably  try,  what  would  your  grace  do?"  "  Give  them 
the  most  infernal  thrashing  they  have  had  for  some  time" 


THE   DUKE'S  LAST  NOTE.  11 

replied  the  Duke ;  whereupon  the  electrified  commentator 
on  hypothetical  disasters  said — nothing.  The  above  anec 
dote  was  told  me  by  General  Sir  John  Waters,  K.  C.  B. 

5.   The  Duke  teaching  a  Colleague  Manners. 

The  Duke's  reception  of  the  Elder  Brethren  of  the 
Trinity  House  was  usually  most  gracious ;  still  there  was 
once  an  exception.  Standing  with  his  back  to  the  fireplace, 
he  was  receiving  the  members  as  they  came  up  to  make 
their  bow,  and  shaking  hands  with  each.  But  one  member 
for  a  moment  forgetting  the  august  personage  he  wras  ap 
proaching,  bustled  up  to  the  hero  of  a  hundred  fights,  and 
extending  his  hand,  at  the  same  time  enunciating,  "  How 
do,  Duke  ?  "  to  the  fearful  dismay  of  the  spectators.  The 
Duke  drew  himself  up,  and  placing  his  hands  behind  his 
back,  made  a  solemn  bow  to  his  free-and-easy  Brother.  At 
the  moment,  Admiral  Sir  T.  Byam  Martin  approached,  and 
knowing  his  grace  better  than  the  Brother  who  had  pre 
ceded  him,  received  a  most  hearty  shake  of  the  hand.  I  am 
indebted  to  Captain  William  Pixley,  an  Elder  Brother  of 
the  Trinity  House,  for  this  anecdote. 

6.  The  BuMs  Last  Note. 

It  is  believed  at  the  Trinity  House  that  the  last  note  or 
letter  written  by  the  Duke  was  addressed  to  their  Board 
the  day  before  his  death  ;  and  the  autograph  of  the  Great 
Master  is  carefully  preserved  in  the  archives  of  the  Corpo 
ration. 

It  appears  that  an  election  of  an  Elder  Brother  in  suc 
cession  to  the  late  Deputy-Master,  Sir  John  Pelly,  was  to 
have  taken  place  at  the  end  of  the  week  in  which  the  Duke 
died ;  and  a  letter  was  addressed  to  his  grace  at  Walmer 
Castle  on  the  subject.  He  had  misconceived  the  nature  of 
the  election,  and  wrote  to  say  that,  as  he  could  not  be  in 


12  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

town  for  a  few  weeks,  he  would  like  the  matter  to  stand 
over  until  his  return.  In  consequence  of  this  communica 
tion,  Captain  Shepherd,  an  East  India  Director,  and  an 
Elder  Brother  of  the  Trinity  House,  proceeded  on  the  Mon 
day  to  Walmer,  hoping  to  explain  the  case  to  the  Duke  ; 
but  the  Duke  had  gone  to  Dover,  and  Captain  Shepherd 
was  obliged  to  return  to  London  without  seeing  him.  Next 
day  the  Duke  had  gone  to  that  bourn  from  which  no 
traveller  returns. 

Captain  Pixley  also  related  to  me  the  foregoing  in 
cident. 

7.  So  like  the  Duke. 

Every  trait  of  the  late  Duke's  personal  character  pos 
sesses  a  special  interest,  and  I  recollect  being  much  struck 
with  the  following  anecdote  told  me  by  the  late  Mr.  Charles 
Downes,  the  army  agent,  of  Warwick  Street,  Charing  Cross, 
who  was  requested  by  the  authorities  at  the  Horse  Guards 
to  ascertain  the  truth  of  the  application. 

In  the  winter  of  1847,  the  wife  of  an  industrious  black 
smith  in  Essex  resolved  to  knit  a  pair  of  mittens  for  the 
Duke  of  Wellington,  as  she  had  to  ask  his  grace  a  favor,  to 
which  the  gift  was  to  be  introductory. 

The  mittens  were  received  at  Apsley  House,  and  the 
Duke  wore  them  'the  same  day  at  the  Horse  Guards,  show 
ing  them,  with  a  smile,  to  his  military  colleagues  there, 
and  desiring  that  the  honest  dame's  request  might  be  im 
mediately  attended  to.  She  stated  that  her  husb.ind  had 
been  one  of  his  grace's  soldiers,  and  that  he  had  had  the  mis 
fortune  of  losing  his  Waterloo  medal,  which  he  had  alwavs 
worn  on  the  anniversary  of  his  marriage.  She  stated  that 
this  anniversary  was  again  approaching,  and  that  she  would 
ever  feel  deeply  grateful  if  the  Duke  would  allow  another 
medal  to  be  issued,  as  the  loss  had  seriously  affected  her 
husband's  spirits.  She  would  only  further  trespass  on  his 


WHAT  THE  DUKE  COULD  GO  THROUGH  IN  A  DAY.  13 

grace  so  far  as  to  solicit  that  the  medal  should  be  sent  to 
her  privately,  as  she  wrote  without  her  husband's  knowl 
edge,  and  wished  to  give  her  partner  an  agreeable  surprise 
on  the  arrival  of  the  wedding-day. 

This  was  speedily  approaching.  The  Duke  had  ordered 
that  her  request  should  be  attended  to,  but  the  poor  wife 
had  received  no  medal.  She  accordingly  ventured  to  ad 
dress  a  second  letter  to  the  Duke :  this  was  soon  known  at  the 
Horse  Guards.  His  grace  arrived  there  one  morning  in  a 
towering  passion,  dashed  the  letter  down  on  the  table,  and 
demanded  to  know  why  his  orders  had  been  neglected. 
The  matter  had  been  overlooked.  An  instant  reference 
was  made  to  a  gentleman  in  Essex,  who  inquired  if  the 
claim  was  a  correct  one ;  this  proving  to  be  the  case,  the 
medal  was  dispatched  without  delay,  but  whether  in  time 
for  the  nuptial  day  is  uncertain.  This  story  I  told  some 
years  ago  in  a  letter  to  the  editor  of  the  Gentleman }s  Mag 
azine. 

8.    What  the  Duke  could  go  through  in  a  Single  Day 
(1852). 

The  last  anniversary  meeting  of  the  Elder  Brethren  of 
the  Trinity  House  before  the  Duke's  death  was  an  extremely 
wet  day,  still  it  did  not  prevent  the  illustrious  Master  join 
ing  his  colleagues  at  Tower  Hill,  and  accompanying  them 
to  Deptford  as  usual.  There,  as  it  continued  to  rain  heavily, 
a  carriage  had  been  provided  to  convey  his  grace  to  the 
Trinity  Almshouses,  instead  of  being  exposed  to  the  inclem 
ency  of  the  weather  by  heading,  as  he  had  done  for  many 
years  past,  the  walking  procession.  But  the  Deputy-Master 
could  not  persuade  his  grace  to  enter  the  carriage.  "  I  pre 
fer  walking,"  said  the  Duke ;  and  accordingly  he  marched 
at  the  head  of  the  Brethren,  first  taking  out  of  his  pocket  a 
mackintosh  cape,  which  he  threw  over  his  shoulders,  and 
during  his  progress  to  the  Almshouses,  which  occupied 


14  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

nearly  an  hour,  he  was  amused  with  the  remarks  of  the 
crowd,  and  to  many  of  the  young  folks  he  gave  biscuits, 
with  which  his  pockets  must  have  been  pretty  well  filled 
before  starting. 

At  the  Almshouses  each  of  the  Brethren  is  presented 
with  a  bouquet ;  and  it  was  always  a  struggle  among  the 
girls  to  get  that  of  the  Duke,  as  the  lucky  recipient  was 
sure  of  very  soon  getting  a  husband.  Such,  at  all  events, 
was  the  belief  among  the  fair  residents  of  Deptford  some 
quarter  of  a  century  ago. 

The  inspection  of  the  Almshouses  being  over,  all  eyes 
were  directed  to  the  Duke  and  his  bouquet.  The  girls 
crowded  round  the  great  warrior,  each  in  the  front  rank 
feeling  confident  that  she  was  to  be  the  possessor.  The 
Duke  enjoyed  their  suspense  very  much,  but  all  the  time 
was  carefully  spying  out  the  prettiest  face,  when  at  last 
seeing  a  charming  girl  in  the  second  or  third  rank,  he 
pushed  through  the  crowd,  no  easy  task,  and  passed  the 
bouquet  into  the  hands  of  her  whose  face  had  attracted  his 
attention. 

The  Duke  returned  with  the  party  to  the  banquet  at 
the  Trinity  House,  and  on  sitting  down  he  appeared  in 
excellent  spirits,  and  said  to  the  deputy-chairman,  "  I  have 
to  be  at  the  Queen's  juvenile  party  at  Windsor  to-night,  so 
you  must  let  me  away  early."  He  carried  out  his  wish, 
and  returning  to  Apsley  House  to  change  his  dress,  he 
obeyed  Her  Majesty's  commands  at  Windsor  the  same 
evening.  For  this  anecdote,  again,  I  am  indebted  to  Cap 
tain  Pixley. 

9.   TJie  Duke's  Hospitality. 

The  worthy  member  of  the  Trinity  Board  to  whom  I 
was  at  the  time  indebted  for  these  memorabilia  of  the 
great  Duke  made  me  laugh  at  his  description  of  the  per 
turbation  of  mind  into  which  he  was  himself  thrown  for  a 


THE  DUKE  AND   SIR  JOHN   WATERS.  15 

brief  period.  He  was  residing  with  his  family  for  a  few 
weeks  at  Walmer,  and  was  brought  to  account  by  one  of 
the  Brethren  for  not  having  called  at  the  castle  to  ask  for 
their  illustrious  Master.  He  had  not  forgotten  it,  but  was 
diffident,  or  "  blate,"  as  we  would  say  in  my  part  of  Scot 
land.  However,  he  at  last  mustered  courage  to  call  and 
ask  how  his  grace  was.  The  servant,  seeing  that  it  was 
the  card  of  an  Elder  Brother  of  the  Trinity  Board,  said, 
"  Tlie  Duke  will  be  glad  to  see  you,  sir ;  "  but  the  modest 
Brother,  muttering  out  an  apology,  that  he  would  not  on 
that  occasion  intrude  upon  his  grace,  made  good  his  retreat 
from  the  battlements  of  Walmer.  Yet  he  had  hardly 
reached  his  domicile,  when  a  messenger  arrived  from  the 
Duke  with  an  invitation  to  dinner  that  day.  The  Duke's 
invitation  was  a  command :  and  a  very  pleasant  evening 
the  Elder  Brother  spent  with  the  conqueror  of  Napoleon. 

10.   The  Duke  and  the  Late  Lieutenant -General  Sir  John 
Waters,  K.  C.  B. 

I  was  on  intimate  terms  with  different  members  of 
General  Waters's  family,  and  often  met  that  brave  man  in 
the  domestic  circle.  Of  course  on  such  occasions  I  had  my 
ears  open  when  the  great  Duke  and  the  Peninsular  War, 
etc.,  came  on  the  tapis. 

The  Duke  held  Waters  in  high  appreciation,  and  during 
the  Peninsular  campaigns,  whenever  any  important  infor 
mation  as  to  the  movements  of  the  French  was  required,  the 
services  of  the  gallant  Waters  were  always  called  for.  It 
was  his  report  of  the  movements  of  the  French  army  that 
led  to  the  battle  of  Busago.  It  was  Waters  whom  the 
Duke  asked,  when  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  Douro,  if  he 
thought  he  could  cross  the  river  and  see  how  matters 
stood  writh  the  French  then  in  possession  of  Oporto.  No 
sooner  said  than  done.  Waters  got  a  boat,  worked  himself 


16  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

across  the  Douro,  and  returned  with  an  additional  boat ; 
and  aided  by  this  small  beginning,  the  Duke,  at  a  lower 
part  of  the  river,  got  over  a  sufficient  force  to  drive  the 
French  out  of  the  city.  On  another  occasion  it  was  re 
ported  at  headquarters  that  Waters  was  captured,  on  which 
the  Duke  remarked,  "  Never  fear  !  "Waters  will  rejoin  us  ; 
I  know  him  too  well.  Bring  on  his  baggage."  The  Duke 
was  right ;  for  the  same  afternoon  Waters  galloped  into 
camp  bareheaded,  and  resumed  his  seat  at  the  Duke's  din 
ner-table.  His  grace  laughed  heartily,  remarking  to  Wa 
ters,  "  I  knew  you  \vould  manage  to  be  back  to  dinner." 

Another  anecdote  of  Waters  will  show  the  esteem  in 
which  he  was  always  held  by  the  Duke.  At  the  end  of  May, 
1815,  a  letter  was  received  at  the  Horse  Guards  by  one 
of  the  officials  from  his  grace  at  Brussels,  in  which  he  said, 
"  Send  me  Waters  ; "  and  in  a  postscript  to  the  same  letter, 
"  Be  sure  to  send  me  Waters."  Accordingly,  a  messenger 
was  dispatched  to  the  club,  to  ask  for  Colonel  Waters's 
address.  The  only  information  that  could  be  obtained  was, 
that  the  colonel  was  gone  fishing  somewhere  in  Wales  ;  but 
the  whereabouts  unknown.  The  messenger  was  then  dis 
patched  to  the  residence  of  his  brother,  the  late  Mr.  Ed 
mund  Waters.  The  same  answer,  "  Fishing  in  Wales ;  " 
but  no  address  was  to  be  had. 

Application  was  next  made  to  his  brother-in-law,  the 
late  Mr.  Bainbridge,  the  banker;  but  it  brought  only  a 
similar  reply.  Fortunately,  the  weather  in  Wales  became 
unpropitious  for  the  disciples  of  Izaac  Walton,  and  the 
truant  officer  wended  his  way  slowly  back  to  London, 
where  he  found  note  upon  note  awaiting  his  arrival,  desir 
ing  him  to  go  down  immediately  to  the  Horse  Guards.  The 
precise  day  I  have  not  got,  but  it  was  in  June,  a  few  days 
only  before  Waterloo.  The  Duke's  note  was  skimmed 
over  by  Waters ;  and  that  night  saw  him  off  to  his  illus 
trious  chief.  He  arrived  in  time  to  act  as  deputy  adjutant- 


LORD   NELSON   AT  ANTIGUA.  1Y 

general  of  the  army,  and  to  sign  the  returns  of  the  killed 
and  wounded  at  Waterloo,  being  himself  one  of  the  latter. 
These  anecdotes  in  connection  with  the  Duke  I  sketched 
out  several  years  ago,  and  gave  them  to  a  friend,  who  in 
serted  them  in  the  Liverpool  Albion,  and  the  historian  of 
the  Peninsular  War,  General  Sir  William  Napier,  himself  a 
reader  of  the  Albion,  wrote  to  the  editor  confirming  from 
his  own  personal  knowledge  those  which  related  to  General 
Waters,  and  the  editor  courteously  forwarded  General 
Napier's  note  to  me. 

11.    Colonel  the  Hon.  Sir  Arthur  Wellesley. 

I  knew  the  late  Captain  Prescott,  the  East  India  Di 
rector,  who  in  early  life  commanded  one  of  the  Honorable 
East  India  Company's  ships,  in  which  he  had  Colonel 
Wellesley  as  a  passenger  to  Calcutta.  The  future  hero  of 
Assaye  and  Prescott  did  not  harmonize  during  the  voyage. 
At  its  close,  and  when  Captain  Prescott  and  his  officers 
were  assembled  on  deck,  to  see  the  brother  of  the  Governor- 
General  leave  the  ship,  Colonel  Wellesley  walked  up  to  the 
third-officer  and  shook  him  cordially  by  the  hand,  saying, 
"  Good-by,  Abercrombie,  many  thanks  for  your  kind  at 
tentions,"  bowed  to  the  ship's  company,  but  took  no  notice 
whatever  of  Captain  Prescott,  nor  of  any  of  the  other 
officers.  Prescott  used  to  say,  "  I  never  could  account  for 
it."  I  dare  say  Colonel  Wellesley  could.  Mr.  Abercrombie 
afterward  became  a  merchant  in  the  City,  and  I  have 
understood  that  he  usually,  once  a  year,  called  at  Apsley 
House  to  ask  for  his  grace,  and  was  always  cordially  re 
ceived. 

12.  Lord  Nelson  at  Antigua. 

His  lordship  arrived  at  Antigua,  in  1805,  with  his  ships 
in  full  pursuit  of  the  combined  fleets  of  France  and  Spain ; 


18  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

and  as  lie  bad  to  take  in  water  and  supplies,  the  island  was 
all  excitement. 

The  late  Mr.  Robert  Coates  (better  known  in  London  as 
Mr.  Romeo  Coates)  mentioned  to  me  an  interesting  circum 
stance  that  took  place  on  the  occasion,  having  accompanied 
his  father,  with  the  authorities  of  the  island,  on  board  the 
flag-ship,  to  pay  their  respects  to  Lord  Nelson.  Captain 
Channel  (the  father  of  Mr.  Justice  Channel),  who  had  either 
retired  from  the  navy  or  was  on  half-pay,  was  one  of  the 
visitors  to  the  "  Victory."  It  was  he  who  placed  Nelson's 
ship,  the  "  Vanguard,"  in  her  position  at  the  battle  of  the 
Nile. 

The  moment  the  members  of  the  deputation  reached  the 
quarter-deck  of  the  "  Victory,"  Lord  Nelson  observed  Cap 
tain  Channel,  and,  apparently  forgetting  the  gentlemen  of 
Antigua  who  had  come  to  greet  him  to  their  island,  rushed 
forward  to  him,  exclaiming,  in  a  rapture  of  delight, 
"  Channel,  my  boy,  how  are  you  ?  "  After  the  two  Nile 
heroes  had  exchanged  some  kind  expressions,  his  lordship 
rejoined  his  visitors,  who  had  come  to  invite  him  to  a 
public  banquet.  "  Gentlemen,"  said  Lord  Nelson,  "  I  thank 
you  sincerely  ;  but  it  is  impossible  for  me  to  accept  your 
hospitality ;  I  am  in  pursuit  of  the  enemy,  and  I  have  not 
been  out  of  this  ship  for  two  years.  I  am  sure  that  the 
enemy  has  returned  to  Europe,  and  I,  gentlemen,  must  also 
return  without  the  loss  "of  a  day." 

The  deputation  retired  much  gratified  with  their  recep 
tion,  but  greatly  disappointed  that  they  were  not  to  have 
the  honor  of  entertaining  the  great  Admiral. 

Every  luxury  which  the  island  possessed  kept  pouring 
into  the  fleet  during  the  day;  and  Nelson  kept  Cap t;i in 
Channel  to  spend  the  afternoon  with  him. 

What  occurred  within  a  few  weeks  from  that  day  is  best 
told  in  the  words  of  the  poet,  which  Mr.  Coates  repeated 
with  much  pathos : 


LORD   NELSON   AND   KEITH   MAXWELL.  {9 

"  Nelson  had  sought,  but  long  had  sought  in  vain 
The  still  retreating  fleets  of  France  and  Spain  ; 
When  found  at  last,  he  crushed  them  in  the  flood, 
And  sealed  the  awful  conquest  with  his  blood." 

13.  Lord  Nelson,  dining  with  the  Highland  Society  of 
London,  and  Commander  Keith  Maxwell,  H.  N. 

His  lordship  had  been  invited  to  dine  in  London  with 
the  Highland  Society  of  Scotland.  The  Duke  of  Montrose 
was  in  the  chair.  In  the  absence  of  a  member  of  the  royal 
family  who  was  expected,  but  unable  to  attend,  Lord 
Nelson  was  the  chief  guest. 

My  father,  as  a  member  of  the  committee,  had  asked  his 
young  friend  and  countryman,  Commander  Keith  Maxwell, 
R.  N.,  elder  brother  of  the  late  Sir  Murray  Maxwell,  to 
accompany  him  to  the  dinner ;  and  both  sat  at  the  cross- 
table  immediately  opposite  the  noble  chairman  and  Lord 
Nelson.  His  lordship  had  accidentally  heard  that  the 
young  man  opposite  to  him  was  Keith  Maxwell,  the  gallant 
cutter-out  of  "  La  Chevrette,"  in  Camaret  Bay,  for  which 
service  he  had  just  been  promoted  to  the  rank  of  com 
mander.  He  introduced  himself  to  Maxwell  by  asking 
him  to  drink  wine.  The  young  sailor  felt  the  honor  im 
mensely,  but  was  quite  unprepared  for  what  was  to  follow, 
on  the  cloth  being  removed.  The  usual  loyal  toasts  having 
been  disposed  of,  with  those  of  the  distinguished  visitors, 
"  The  Highland  Society  and  its  Objects,"  etc.,  Lord  Nelson 
rose  to  propose  a  bumper  toast.  To  his  utter  amazement 
and  dismay,  poor  young  Maxwell  found  that  his  health  was 
to  be  brought  before  the  company  by  the  great  Nelson. 
Never  before  had  his  courage  and  presence  of  mind  deserted 
him,  but  on  this  occasion  both  had  fled,  or  nearly  so.  Lord 
Nelson  described  to  his  grace  and  the  company,  in  detail, 
the  cutting-out  of  "  La  Chevrette,"  and  said  that  it  would 
stand  recorded  in  the  annals  of  the  naval  history  of  this 


20  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

country  as  one  of  the  most  brilliant  exploits  ever  per 
formed. 

The  young  commander  thought  and  hoped  that  a  simple 
bow  was  sufficient,  but  my  father  whispered  to  him  that  he 
must  say  something  in  reply.  His  speech  was  short,  but  it 
was  natural,  and  consequently  effective,  and  was  received 
with  a  burst  of  applause.  It  was  as  follows  :  "  My  Lord 
Duke,  I  am  overwhelmed  with  the  compliment  that  has 
been  paid  me.  How  happy,  my  Lord  Duke,  I  should  at 
this  moment  have  been  had  my  mother  been  spared  to  hear 
that  her  son  Keith  had  his  health  proposed,  and  his  conduct 
as  a  seaman  approved,-  by  Lord  Nelson.  I  can  say  no 
more,  my  Lord  Duke  ;  a  grateful  heart  deprives  me  of  ut 
terance." 

The  young  sailor's  maiden  speech  brought  tears  from 
all  those  who  sat  near  him  and  heard  it. 

As  the  reader  may  wish  to  know  a  little  more  of  the 
cutting-out  of  "  La  Chevrette,"  I  may  state  that  he  was 
early  promoted  to  his  post  rank,  and  hoisted  his  pennant  as 
a  commodore  on  the  African  station.  After  this  came  the 
peace,  and  he  went  on  half-pay,  and  returned  to  the  land  of 
the  Maxwells,  where  my  father  fitted  up  a  comfortable 
residence  for  him  on  his  owrn  property  (Drumtarlie  Lodge), 
the  future  residence  of  another  hero,  General  the  Hon.  Sir 
William  Stewart,  G.  C.  B.,  and  where  he  ended  his  days. 
His  next  brother  was  Captain  Sir  Murray  Maxwell,  R.  N., 
and  one  of  his  other  officers  was  Captain  John  Maxwell, 
R.  N.,  an  excellent  officer,  who  was  promoted  at  the  age  of 
twenty  to  his  post  rank.  This  early  promotion  some  illib 
eral  people  ascribed  to  the  fact  of  his  being  a  near  rela 
tion  of  Jane,  the  celebrated  Duchess  of  Gordon,  who  was 
by  birth  the  second  daughter  of  Sir  William  Maxwell  of 
Monreith,  the  third  baronet. 


SIR   HENRY   TROLLOPE   AND   GENERAL   BURGOYXE.      21 


14.    Commodore   Sir  Henry    Trollope  and    General  the 
liiylit  Hon.  John  Burgoyne. 

My  father  used  to  relate  an  amusing  scene  which  he 
witnessed,  seventy-five  years  ago,  at  the  house  of  a  friend 
in  London,  who  had  asked  him  to  dinner  to  meet  the  dis 
tinguished  commodore,  Sir  Henry  Trollope,  whose  action, 
when  in  command  of  the  "  Glatton,"  with  the  French 
frigates — for  which  he  received  knighthood  and  a  piece  of 
plate  from  the  merchants  of  London — made  him  the  lion  of 
the  day.  One  of  the  guests  invited  was  General  Burgoyne, 
who  commanded  the  British  army  in  America  as  far  back  as 
1777.  After  the  cloth  was  removed  and  a  bumper  (or  more) 
had  been  drunk  to  the  distinguished  sailor,  the  commodore 
availed  himself  "of  a  temporary  lull  in  the  conversation  to 
say  across  the  table  to  the  aged  general  who  sat  on  the  left 
of  the  chair,  "  General,  do  you  recollect  a  youngster  who 
served  in  the  —  regiment  under  you  in  America,  and  who 
gave  you  from  time  to  time  infinite  trouble,  until  you  were 
compelled  to  dismiss  him  from  his  regiment  and  send  him 
to  England — he  went  by  the  name  of  '  Blackguard  Trol 
lope?'"  The  old  general  brightened  up.  "Well  do  I 
recollect  '  Blackguard  Trollope,'  as  did  every  one  connected 
with  my  force."  "I  was  in  hopes,  General,  you  had  for 
gotten  him,  for  I  am  '  Blackguard  Trollope.'  "  "  What !  " 
exclaimed  the  general,  amid  roars  of  laughter,  "  do  you 
mean  to  say,  Sir  Henry,  that  you  are  '  Blackguard  Trol 
lope  ? '"  "I  am,  indeed,  *  Blackguard  Trollope.'  "  "  Well," 
said  the  general,  "  wonders  will  never  cease.  We  must 
shake  each  other  again  by  the  hand ;  and  although  I  was 
happy  to  get  rid  of  '  Ensign '  Trollope,  I  am  indeed  proud 
to  meet  '  Commodore '  Trollope,  and  am  well  rewarded  for 
having  sent  him  home  to  enter  a  service  in  which  he  has 
become  one  of  its  brightest  ornaments." 


22  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY    YEARS. 


15.  Mr.  Pitt  hearing  of  the  Death  of  Itobcspieme* 

I  often  beard  my  father  relate  the  following  among 
many  anecdotes  of  Mr.  Pitt.  For  ten  years  of  the  last 
century,  and  down  to  the  period  of  Mr.  Pitt's  death,  my 
father  was  extensively  connected  as  a  merchant  with 
America  and  the  West  Indies,  and  in  this  capacity  was  fre 
quently  sent  for  and  consulted  by  Mr.  Pitt.  He  was  the 
first  to  communicate  to  him  the  death  of  Robespierre,  un 
der  the  following  circumstances  :  My  father  was  at  his 
residence  in  Surrey,  when  late  at  night  a  clerk  in  his  em 
ploy  (an  American  citizen  by  birth)  arrived  from  Paris, 
having  got  across  the  Channel  in  a  fishing-boat,  and  an 
nounced  the  fact  of  Robespierre  having  been  guillotined 
the  day  he  left  Paris.  Government  intelligence  from  France 
being  very  difficult  to  obtain,  my  father  considered  it  im 
portant  that  Mr.  Pitt  should  know  the  fact  without  delay; 
but  as  he  had  a  good  many  miles  to  drive,  it  was  between 
12  and  1  when  he  reached  Downing  Street.  The  servant 
told  my  father  that  Mr.  Pitt  had  just  retired,  but  that,  of 
course,  he  would  take  r.p  his  name.  Mr.  Pitt  at  once  said : 
"  I  know  Mr.  Boyci  has  something  of  importance  to  tell  me; 
ask  him  to  walk  up-stairs."  On  hearing  the  news  he  im 
mediately  left  his  bed,  saying:  "I  must  instantly  apprise 
my  colleagues;  Boyd,  many  thanks;  good-night,  good 
night."  And  off  he  went  instanter  to  tell  the  news  to  the 
other  members  of  his  Cabinet. 

*  This  anecdote  I  sent  to  Earl  Stanhope  some  years  ago,  and  he  did 
me  ths  honor  to  sav,  in  acknowledging  it :  'I  return  you  many  thanks 
for  your  obliging  communication.  The  anecdote  as  to  the  news  of  the 
fall  of  Robespierre,  as  it  arrived  in  Downing  Street,  is  curious,  and  I  am 
glad  to  be  able  to  add  it  to  my  '  Pittiana.1  " 


THE   RIGHT   REV.   THOMAS  LEWIS  O'BIERNE.  23 


16.   The  Eight  Rev.   Thomas  Lewis  O'Bierne,  D.  D., 
Lord  Bishop  of  Meath. 

When  I  was  a  boy  I  recollect  this  distinguished  prelate 
very  well.  With  Mrs.  O'Bierne  and  his  two  daughters,  he 
was  in  the  habit  of  occasionally  paying  my  father  and 
mother  a  few  days'  visit  at  our  residence  in  Scotland,  on 
his  way  to  or  from  London.  My  father  prided  himself 
much  on  his  four-year-old  black-faced  mutton ;  and  for  no 
joint  had  the  right  reverend  prelate  a  higher  esteem  or 
relish  than  a  leg  of  mutton,  as  borne  out  in  the  following 
little  narrative : 

Dr.  O'Bierne  belonged  to  a  respectable  Roman  Catholic 
family,  and  he  was  educated  in  France  for  the  Irish  priest 
hood.  He  had  arrived  in  London  from  the  Continent,  on 
his  return  to  Ireland ;  but  having  a  few  weeks  at  command, 
he  wished  to  make  a  walking-tour  through  the  metropolitan 
counties.  One  day  he  found  himself  likely  to  be  caught  in 
a  drenching  rain  somewhere  in  mid-Surrey,  and  sought 
shelter  in  a  small  road-side  country  inn.  He  asked  the 
landlord  what  he  could  have  for  dinner,  and  learned  to  his 
satisfaction  that  there  was  a  solitary  leg  of  mutton  in  the 
house.  The  joint  was  being  cooked  for  him  when  three 
gentlemen  galloped  up  to  the  door  in  hunting-costume, 
drenched  and  hungry.  The  landlord  was  able  to  give  the 
old  gentleman  of  the  party  a  dry  suit  of  clothes,  by  which 
time  the  leg  of  mutton  was  ready  to  be  served  up  for  Mr. 
O'Bierne.  He,  however,  requested  the  landlord  to  take  it 
first  to  the  hungry  sportsmen,  who  were  equally  strangers 
to  the  landlord  as  to  the  young  divine.  This  they  declined, 
unless  the  young  gentleman  would  join  them.  He  did  so, 
and  the  leg  of  mutton  had  ample  justice  done  to  it.  About 
7  or  8  o'clock  in  the  evening  a  carriage  drove  up,  and 
a  powdered  footman,  looking  in  at  the  door,  said,  "  Your 


KKMINISCKNVKS    OF    FIFTY    YEARS. 

UIV,  the  carriage  is  here."  Two  of  the  gentlemen  left 
for  their  own  residences  in  the  country,  but  his  grace  was 
to  return  to  London.  He  asked  the  young  stranger  who 
had  so  considerately  insisted  upon  the  leg  of  mutton  being 
sent  to  him  and  his  friends  what  were  his  plans.  Mr. 
O'Bierne  replied  that  he  meant  to  return  to  London  to-mor 
row.  "  Why  not  to-night,"  said  the  duke,  "  and  take  a  seat 
in  my  carriage  ?  "  He  thanked  his  grace  for  his  kind  offer, 
paid  his  bill,  and  in  a  few  minutes  found  himself  alongside 
the  Duke  of  Portland,  the  Prime  Minister.  His  grace  had 
been  much  struck  during  the  dinner  with  the  young  Irish 
man's  general  intelligence,  and  this  was  further  enhanced 
in  the  drive  to  London.  The  duke  put  O'Bierne  down  at 
his  hotel  or  lodgings,  wishing  him  good-night,  and  extract 
ing  from  him  a  strict  promise  to  breakfast  in  Cavendish 
Square  next  morning.  He  was  introduced  to  the  duchess 
and  her  two  eldest  sons,  the  Marquis  of  Titchfield  (the 
late  duke)  and  Lord  William  Bentinck  (the  future  Gov 
ernor-General  of  India). 

Before  starting  for  Downing  Street,  the  duke  desired 
his  sons  to  "  lionize  "  their  young  friend  about  the  metrop 
olis,  and  to  bring  him  back  to  dinner  without  fail.  The  se 
quel  was,  that  before  the  week  had  ended,  Lord  Titchfield 
and  his  brother  were  much  attached  to  young  O'Bierne. 
His  popularity  with  the  duke  and  duchess  likewise  in 
creased;  and  within  a  fortnight  of  the  accidental  introduc 
tion  through  the  medium  of  the  leg  of  mutton,  the  duke 
made  a  suggestion,  followed  by  a  proposal  to  O'Bierne. 
His  grace  told  him  that  he  found  him  exactly  the  person  he 
would  like  to  superintend  the  education  of  his  sons,  having 
discovered  that  he  was  an  excellent  classical  scholar,  in  ad 
dition  to  which  (a  rare  requisition  in  those  days),  he  had  a 
perfect  knowledge  of  the  French  language.  He  added  that 
lie  wished  to  place  his  sons  under  his  tuition,  and  that  as 
he  (O'Bierne)  had  not  yet  entered  the  priesthood,  he  wished 


THE   RIGHT   REV.   THOMAS  LEWIS  O'BIERNE.  25 

him  to  return  to  Ireland  and  consult  his  family,  whether  he 
could  not  make  up  his  mind  to  take  orders  in  the  Church  of 
England,  in  which  case  he  would  place  his  sons  under  his 
charge  at  either  Oxford  or  Cambridge,  and  that  he  might 
assure  his  family  from  him  (the  duke)  he  should  have  the 
earliest  church  preferment  after  completing  his  university 
course.  His  family  acceded  to  the  duke's  proposal,  and  Mr. 
O'Bierne  entered  the  Bentinck  family,  having  given  him 
pari  passu  with  his  duties  to  his  pupils  the  opportunity  of 
preparing  himself  for  those  of  a  clergyman  of  the  English 
Episcopal  Church,  and  which  duties  he  afterward  so  con 
scientiously  and  ably  fulfilled.  The  Premier  had  early  dis 
covered  that  his  sons'  tutor  possessed  varied  and  eminent 
talents,  and  the  result  of  that  appreciation  was  Mr.  O'Bierne 
subsequently  accompanying  Lord  Malmesbury  as  chaplain 
and  interpreter  in  his  diplomatic  mission  to  France.  The 
chaplain's  private  correspondence  in  his  new  character  in 
connection  with  foreign  affairs  evinced,  I  have  heard  my 
father  say,  in  the  opinion  of  those  competent  to  judge,  high 
powers  ;  so  much  so,  that  my  relative  one  day  at  his  own 
table  facetiously  remarked  to  the  ex-chaplain  of  Legation, 
then  become  Bishop  of  Meath,  that  had  he  not  raised  him 
self  to  a  mitre,  nothing  could  have  prevented  him  becoming 
an  ambassador  extraordinary  and  minister  plenipotentiary. 

The  Bishop  married  the  only  daughter  of  the  Hon. 
Francis  Stuart,  third  son  of  the  sixth  Earl  of  Moray,  and 
had  two  daughters. 

My  father  visited  the  bishop  at  his  episcopal  residence 
in  Ireland,  and  the  first  morning  after  breakfast  his  lordship 
said,  "  I  wish  to  introduce  you  to  my  elder  brother,  who 
lives  over  there,"  pointing  to  the  house.  This  brother,  to 
whom  the  bishop  was  greatly  attached,  was  the  Roman 
Catholic  priest  of  the  district. 
2 


26  IIKMLMSCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 


17.  Pride  of  Ancestry. 

My  father  related  an  instance  of  this  which,  he  said,  al 
ways  brought  a  smile  from  the  noble  earl  by  whom  the  con 
cession  was  made  to  a  certain  noble  applicant,  who  anx 
iously  desired  to  be  allowed  to  matriculate  himself  on  the 
noble  earl's  family  and  heraldic  tree.  My  father  had  gone 
to  pay  his  respects  to  the  lord-lieutenant  of  his  county,  at 
his  residence  in  London,  and,  as  he  entered,  he  met  a  noble 
lord  and  eminent  statesman  who  was  leaving  the  house. 
He  found  the  earl  in  his  library,  and  the  first  observation 
he  made  was,  "  Do  you  know  whom  you  met  just  now  ?  " 
"  Of  course,  my  lord,  I  do ;  such  great  men  are  always 
known  by  sight ! "  "  Sit  down,  and  I  shall  make  you  laugh. 
On  the  chair  you  now  occupy,"  said  his  lordship,  "  that  dis 
tinguished  man  has  been  sitting  for  two  hours  studying  the 
peerage,  or  rather  that  portion  of  it  referring  to  my  family, 
so  that  I  might  point  out  to  him  (which,  entre  nous,  I  could 
not  do)  or  help  him  to  fix  where  his  grandfather  or  great 
grandfather  branched  off  from  my  family.  He  acknowledged 
to  me,"  continued  the  carl,  "  that  when  his  progenitor  ar 
rived  in  Ireland  and  settled,  he  had  understood  that  he  ap 
peared  to  know  little  or  nothing  of  his  family  in  Scotland. 
Very  little  indeed,  I  should  think,"  said  the  noble  earl — "  or 
at  least  wished  to  have  known  " — a  remark  in  which  my 
father  fully  concurred.  The  ancestor  was  a  pedler  in  a  very 
small  way  in  our  county,  carrying  his  little  wares  on  his 
back,  but  in  his  humble  avocation  was  very  respectable. 
His  patronymic  was  certainly  that  of  the  noble  family  with 
which  his  distinguished  descendant  now  coveted  an  here 
ditary  alliance.  "  Ah  !  "  said  the  noble  earl,  a  clear-headed 
and  wise  man,  "  is  it  not  surprising  ?  Does  it  not  show  the 
weakness  of  human  nature  to  find  a  man,  with  the  vast  re 
sponsibilities  of  office  on  his  shoulders,  whose  name  car- 


THE   RIGHT   HON.   ANTHONY  R.   BLAKE.  27 

ries  such  weight  in  every  Cabinet  of  Europe,  with  a  great 
Continental  war  raging,  in  which  the  best  interests  of  this 
country  are  involved,  and  who  has  achieved  for  himself  so 
high  and  prominent  a  position  in  the  councils  of  his  sover 
eign,  laying  himself  open  and  betraying  such  weakness, 
instead  of  being  proud  at  the  height  he  has  attained  by  his 
own  consummate  talents  ?  His  lineage  from  the  honest  ped- 
ler  was  of  too  recent  a  date  to  have  been  unknown  to  him," 
said  the  earl,  "  for  whatever  is  wrong  in  the  family  escutch 
eon,  be  it  the  bar  sinister,  or  humble  origin,  never  fails  to 
be  disseminated  by  a  jealous  and  illiberal  world." 

"  It  cannot  now  be  helped,"  said  his  lordship ;  "  I  have 
admitted  the  fiction,  and  I  have  this  day  consented  to  the 
matriculation;  and  now  let  me  take  a  Scotchman's  view 
of  the  matter  from  the  point  of  expediency,  political  or 
otherwise,  and  the  conclusion  I  arrive  at  is  this,  that,  after 
all,  as  the  father  of  a  large  family,  and  moreover  being  fre 
quently  called  upon  and  expected,  as  the  lord-lieutenant,  to 
promote  as  far  as  in  my  power  the  advancement  in  the 
world  of  the  young  men  connected  with  the  two  counties 
in  which  I  hold  property,  I  cannot  suppose  that  my  coun 
trymen  will  find  much  fault  with  me  for  allowing  so  illus 
trious  an  individual  to  look  up  to  me  as  the  head  of  his 
house."  I  have  no  doubt  my  father,  as  another  Scotch 
man,  considered  the  noble  earl's  premises  and  conclusions 
sound. 

18.  The  Eight  Hon.  Anthony  E.  Slake. 

I  had  the  pleasure  of  knowing  the  right  honorable  gen 
tleman  during  the  latter  years  of  his  life,  which  were  passed 
either  in  London  or  Brighton.  He  had  the  same  apart 
ments  in  the  "  Albany,"  Piccadilly,  that  had  been  previous 
ly  occupied  for  years  by  Lord  Althorp,  until  he  removed  to 
Spencer  House.  Mr.  Blake  was  a  younger  son  of  the 
ancient  family  of  Blake,  of  Holly  Park,  in  the  county  of 
Galway,  and  was  called  to  the  bar  at  Lincoln's  Inn  in  1813, 


28  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS.' 

being  proposed  by  Sir  Thomas  Plumer,  Master  of  the  Rolls. 
He  subsequently  held  the  position  of  Chief  Remembrancer 
for  Ireland,  and,  I  believe,  was  the  first  Roman  Catholic  in 
those  days  of  exclusion  (1823)  who  was  nominated  to  a 
legal  office  by  the  Government.  The  chivalrous  and  popu 
lar  Marquis  of  Anglesey  was  then  Viceroy  of  Ireland.  He 
was  a  man  of  most  engaging  manners,  and  his  conversation 
was  not  more  finished  and  delightful  than  instructive.  He 
was  old  enough  to  remember  many  of  the  chief  incidents 
of  the  Irish  rebellion,  but  he  never  allowed  himself  to  be 
led  away  by  his  feelings  as  a  Catholic  into  the  expression 
of  opinions  at  which  even  John  Earl  of  Eldon,  the  most  fas 
tidious  of  Tory  chancellors,  could  have  taken  umbrage.  He 
possessed  humorous  powers  of  a  high  description ;  and  I 
can  only  look  back  with  feelings  of  unfeigned  regret  that  I 
neglected  the  opportunity  of  recording  many  anecdotes 
that  would  have  been  highly  interesting  for  me  now  to 
rehearse,  as  coming  from  so  valued  a  source. 

During  Mr.  Blake's  residence  in  London  he  was  asked 
by  the  Government  to  allow  himself  to  be  nominated  a 
commissioner  to  represent  the  Catholic  party  in  conduct 
ing,  with  two  colleagues,  an  educational  inquiry  in  Ireland. 
He  amused  me  much  with  many  of  his  anecdotes  connected 
with  this  commission ;  among  them  was  some  evidence 
which  he  noted  down  from  a  provincial  schoolmaster,  which, 
he  told  me,  occupied  about  three  hours,  and  was  really 
most  laughable.  It  appeared  that  on  one  occasion,  the  day 
being  favorable  for  fishing,  his  brother  commissioners  re 
solved  to  indulge  their  piscatory  tastes,  and  Mr.  Blake,  not 
being  inclined  to  join  them,  to  save  time  sent  for  the  school 
master  of  the  district,  to  take  his  evidence.  The  teacher 
of  youth  arrived  soon  after  breakfast,  pulled  his  most  prom 
inent  lock,  made  his  profoundest  bow,  and  confidentially 
intimated  to  the  commissioner  that  he  was  right  glad  to 
find  his  lordship,  his  worship,  his  honor — for  during  his 


THE   EIGHT   HON.   ANTHONY  K.   BLAKE.  29 

examination  he  gave  the  right  honorable  gentleman  the 
full  advantage  of  the  three  titles — "  altogether  alone."  Mr. 
Blake,  knowing  his  countrymen  well,  soon  took  his  visitor's 
dimensions ;  and  his  own  accent  being  "  altogether  "  Eng 
lish,  without  a  tinge  of  brogue,  he  said  to  his  new  acquaint 
ance,  "  I  can  at  once  see  you  have  much  valuable  informa 
tion  to  impart  to  me."  "  Indade,  my  lord,  I  have ;  and  I 
assure  your  worship  in  all  raality  how  entirely  glad  I  am  to 
have  your  honor  all  alone  this  very  day."  "  But,"  said  Mr. 
Blake,  "  before  we  begin,  as  I  have  finished  my  own  break 
fast,  and  as  you  may  have  breakfasted  early — "  "  That  I 
did,  sor,  your  honor."  "  I  think  some  bread  and  cheese, 
and  a  glass  of  whiskey,  this  damp  day  will  do  you.  good." 
"  A  little  sup  of  whiskey,  your  honor,  would  do  me  a  dale  of 
good."  Accordingly  the  bread,  cheese,  and  whiskey,  were 
summoned  to  his  aid,  when  the  commissioner's  examination 
of  the  learned  schoolmaster  commenced.  Every  answer  he 
received  was  usually  accompanied  with  some  remark  that 
was  to  induce  the  commissioner  to  consider  that  it  was 
valuable  and  exclusive  information. 

After  Mr.  Blake,  whose  difficulty  throughout  was  to 
maintain  an  unruffled  sedateness,  had  filled  up  two  sheets 
of  closely-written  foolscap,  he  put  down  his  pen,  and  thus 
addressed  his  voluble  witness :  "  Well,  Mr.  Flanigan," 
holding  up  the  two  sheets  of  paper,  "  you  have  given  me  a 
large  amount  of  very  valuable  matter  to  be  added  to  the 
report  my  brother  commissioners  and  myself  are  preparing 
to  submit  for  the  information  of  Government  and  of  both 
Houses  of  Parliament."  "  Yes,  my  lord,  it  is  all  for  your 
self."  "  And,  Mr.  Flanigan,  I  cannot  express  to  you  the 
surprise  and  amazement  I  feel,  as  a  Roman  Catholic  and  an 
Irishman,  at  listening  to  what  you  have  told  me."  On 
hearing  this,  up  started  the  Irish  schoolmaster  to  his  legs, 
exclaiming,  "  Oh  !  murther,  murther  !  My  lord,  are  you 
the  Right  Honorable  Mr.  Blake ? "  "I  am."  Then  strik- 


30  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

ing  his  thigh  violently,  he  called  out,  "  Bad  luck  to  rue ! 
Oh,  murther  !  I  thought  all  the  time  your  honor  was  the 
English  commissioner." 

19.   The  Emperor  Alexander  of  Russia  and  Admiral 
IMinyye. 

If  it  be  true  that  our  greatest  statesmen  have  usually 
been  noted  for  speaking  the  English  language  with  pro 
priety,  it  is  equally  certain  that  there  is  no  rule  without  its 
exception.  The  late  Admiral  Mingye,  when  a  lieutenant, 
had  the  honor  of  steering  the  royal  barge,  with  the  Prince 
Regent,  the  Emperor  Alexander,  the  King  of  Prussia,  and 
other  European  crowned  heads,  from  Whitehall  to  Green 
wich. 

Mingye's  eminent  tact  and  ready  wit,  in  replying  in  the 
vernacular  to  the  chaff  of  the  watermen  and  bargemen  who 
ran  athwart  him  in  his  progress  down  the  river,  was  de 
scribed  to  me  by  a  distinguished  flag-officer  who  was  present 
as  standing  unrivalled  and  unsurpassed  in  the  marine  vo 
cabulary  of  that  day.  None  of  his  messmates  had  ever  con 
ceived  that  Mingye  had  reached  any  thing  like  so  high  a 
point  of  excellence  ;  but  he  proved  on  this  occasion,  to  their 
thorough  conviction,  that  he  had  studied  assiduously  and 
successfully  in  the  schools  of  Billingsgate  and  Wapping,  as 
well  as  of  Deptford  and  Portsmouth  Point.  The  Czar  of 
Russia,  an  accomplished  English  scholar,  was  kept  in  a  con 
tinuous  roar  of  laughter ;  and  it  was  alleged  that  he  paid 
infinitely  more  attention  to  the  steersman  and  his  utter 
ances  than  to  the  stately  warehouses,  crowded  wharves,  and 
forest  of  masts  through  which  he  was  passing  on  the  royal 
excursion  to  Greenwich. 

Mingye  was  imperturbable  throughout.  His  diction 
was  as  pure,  as  extensive,  and  varied,  and  as  much  at  com 
mand  in  Deptford  Reach,  as  it  had  been  between  Whitehall 
and  Blackfriars. 


HOW  SIR  JOHN  ROSS  LOST  HIS  DINNER.  31 

His  fine  handsome  appearance  and  magnificent  voice 
added,  no  doubt,  much  to  the  fascinations  which  had  at 
tracted  the  almost  undivided  attention  of  the  emperor.  At 
the  Whitebait  feast  that  followed,  Mingye  was  especially 
noticed  by  the  different  royal  personages,  but  by  none  so 
much  as  by  the  Emperor  of  all  the  Russias. 

The  events  of  this  day  were  important  in  Mingye's  pro 
fessional  career,  as  it  secured  him  his  promotion,  and  his 
further  advancement  was  soon  followed  by  the  command  of 
the  king's  yacht. 

In  later  years  he  became  an  ardent  admirer  and  sup 
porter  of  Don  Carlos,  and  accepted  the  command  of  that 
prince's  fleet — yet  to  be  built. 

He  always  had  the  commission  of  King  Carlos  of  Spain, 
as  admiral,  sewn  under  the  sleeve  of  his  coat ;  and  when 
he  dined  at  our  house,  which  at  one  period  he  frequently 
did,  and  if  he  appeared  in  low  spirits — for  which  there  was, 
unfortunately,  a  cause — I  used  to  rally  him,  and  raise  a 
smile  by  telling  him  that  the  responsibility  and  anxiety 
attending  the  charge  of  the  Spanish  Carlist  fleet  were  too 
much  for  him,  and  that  I  should  advise  him  to  strike  his 
flag  and  retire,  as  his  duties  were  far  too  onerous  ! 

Mingye  was  a  good-tempered  man,  to  whom  the  praise 
from  Gil  Bias  did  not  apply,  "  n'entendent  pas  raillerie," 
for  no  one  more  enjoyed  a  joke. 

20.  Sow  poor  Sir  John  Ross  lost  his  Dinner  in  the  neigh 
borhood  of  London^  although  he  may  have  been  no 
stranger  to  such  a  casualty  in  the  neighborhood  of  the 
North  Pole. 

We  who  lived  thirty-five  or  forty  years  ago  remember 
that  poor  Ross  and  his  gallant  party  were  given  over  as  lost 
in  the  polar  regions  for  more  than  three  years.  I  believe 
his  name  had  even  been  removed  from  the  navy  list,  and 


32  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

his  goods  and  chattels  sold  and  divided  among  his  heirs. 
An  immense  sensation  was  created  in  London  one  after 
noon  in  October,  1833,  when  he  was  reported  to  have 
reached  Hull,  people  rushing  about  on  'Change  and  else 
where,  exclaiming,  "  Have  you  heard  the  news?  Rossis 
safe,  after  all !  "  etc. 

His  arrival  at  the  Admiralty  was  looked  for  with  intense 
interest,  and  by  no  one  more  eagerly  than  our  sailor  king, 
William  IV.,  who  immediately  asked  Ross  to  dine  with 
him  at  Windsor.  In  fact,  Ross  at  that  moment  was  the 
nation's  lion ;  and  he  considered  himself  a  lucky  man, 
whether  peer  or  commoner,  who  could  secure  Ross  to  par 
take  his  hospitality.  He  kept  himself  disengaged,  however, 
to  dine  with  his  own  Scotch  county  friends  in  London — the 
Dumfriesshire  and  Galloway  Club — and  my  brother  and 
myself  had  the  satisfaction  of  meeting  our  old  friend  on  the 
occasion.  There  was  a  member  of  the  club  present  who 
had  been  Ross's  school  companion — a  successful  British 
merchant,  and  a  most  hospitable  man — who  said  across  the 
table,  as  our  convivial  meeting  was  about  to  close,  "  I  pre 
sume  John  Ross  is  too  great  a  man  now  to  dine  with  the 
friend  of  his  boyhood  ?  "  "  Try  him,"  said  Ross.  "  Well, 
my  good  fellow,  will  next  Saturday  suit  you  ?  "  "  It  will," 
said  Ross.  "  Our  dinner  hour  is  half-past  six  "  (a  fashionable 
hour  in  those  days).  "  Oh  !  my  dear  Ross,  I  take  it  exceed 
ingly  kind,  and  it  will  make  my  wife  so  happy  to  be  intro 
duced  to  one  of  whom  she  has  heard  from  her  husband  so 
much."  "  But,  my  good  friend,"  said  Ross,  "  you  have  told 
me  you  live  in  the  country,  without  saying  where."  "  Ah, 
ah !  Ross,  that's  very  good ;  but  all,  my  dear  fellow,  you 
have  to  do,  is  to  find  your  way  to  Gracechurch  Street,  at 
ten  minutes  before  five,  and  tell  the  coachman  you  arc 
going  to  dine  with  me."  Accordingly,  Sir  John  was  punc 
tually  in  Gracechurch  Street  at  the  appointed  time,  found 
himself  among  a  bevy  of  coaches  and  coachmen,  inform- 


SIR  JOHN  ROSS  LOST   HIS  DINNER.  33 

ing  one  of  the  latter  that  he  was  going  to  dine  with  Mr. 

.  "  All  right,  sir ;  jump  in,  sir ;  off  in  two  minutes ; 

put  you  down,  sir,  at  Mr. 's  door."  Clapham  Common 

was  the  point  for  which  the  polar  navigator  had  been  in 
formed  by  his  host  that  he  should  steer  ;  but  unfortunately 
there  was  a  city  man  of  the  same  name,  who  hailed  from  a 
different  quarter — Sydenham.  This  sexagenarian  of  Syden- 
'ham  had  married  a  second  time  (I  mention  this  fact  as  it 
is  an  important  feature  in  my  little  narrative),  and  the 
young  lady  was  some  thirty  or  forty  years  his  junior.  I 
may  also  add,  en  passant,  another  important  piece  of  infor 
mation,  that  she  possessed  great  personal  attractions. 

The  coachman  landed  Sir  John  at  his  supposed  friend's 
door ;  but  instead  of  the  charming  young  bride  having  to 
meet  the  embrace  of  her  carissimo  sposo,  she  heard  an 
nounced  the  name  of  Sir  John  Ross,  or  rather,  as  he  told  us 
afterward,  that  the  footman  styled  him  Sir  Jonathan  Ross. 
There  can  be  no  doubt  that,  after  the  usual  courtesies  had 
passed,  the  young  lady  who  had  so  recently  taken  upon 
her  the  cares  of  a  household,  finding  a  visitor  arrive  to 
dinner  en  grande  tenue,  and  one  with  whose  name  every 
newspaper  of  the  day  had  familiarized  her,  must  have  been 
in  a  dilemma.  Still  she  knew  that  the  dear  kind  soul  with 
whom  she  had  so  recently  commenced  the  journey  of  life 
would  shortly  arrive,  bringing  down  with  him  the  fish,  etc. 
from  Leadenhall  Market,  and  the  soup,  entrees,  and  jellies 
from  Birch's ;  so  that  the  only  orders  she  had  quietly  to 
give  were  that  the  cook  should  go  on  with  her  duties  in 
the  vegetable  department,  arid  the  footman  with  his  table 
arrangements. 

Sir  John  was  quite  unprepared  to  meet  so  young  a 
wife ;  but  as  he  had  been  nearly  four  years  absent  among 
the  snow  and  ice  of  the  Northern  regions,  where  the  Sup 
plement  of  the  Times  is  not  always  to  be  met  with,  he  said 
to  himself,  "  Ah.  my  friend  has  lost  one  wife  and  married 


34  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

another  since  I  left  England.  I  must  therefore  avoid  asking 
questions,  and  limit  myself  to  one,  namely — 'Pray,  has 
Mr.  -  -  arrived  from  London  ?  '"  "  Oh,  no,  Sir  John," 
looking  at  the  clock  on  the  mantel-piece  ;  "  I  do  not  expect 
him  for  half  an  hour."  That  being  so,  he  opened  his  budget 
of  anecdotes  "  by  flood  and  field,"  to  which  the  young  and 

charming  Mrs. listened  with  the  deepest  interest.    All 

this  Sir  John  afterward  told  my  brother  and  myself,  in  a 
very  dry  and  humorous  way.  Rap,  tap,  tap,  and  the  lord 
of  the  mansion  arrived  at  his  own  threshold.  "  I  am  so 

glad,  Sir  John,  that  Mr. has  at  last  arrived ;  he  will  be 

quite  distressed  to  hear  that  you  have  had  so  long  to 
wait." 

Before  I  proceed,  I  must  here  explain  that  the  events 
of  this  afternoon  became  somewhat  historical  in  the  neigh 
borhood  of  Sydenham :  the  footman,  who  was  resolved 
that  his  own  course  of  action  should  be  clearly  understood, 
informed  a  friend  of  his  master's,  to  whom  I  was  indebted 
for  the  underground  or  down-stairs  details.  The  footman 
opened  the  coach-door  for  his  master,  then  at  once  looked 
up  at  the  coachman,  and  said,  "Now,  Bill,  gie  me  down 
the  fish  and  t'other  parcels  sharp ;  has  we  hairft  got  a 
morsel  o'  time  and  cook's  hin  such  a  stew."  "  Vy,  sir,  you 
ave  put  missus  sadly  hout  this  day ;  you  ave  hindeed,  sir, 
in  hashing  hof  Sir  Jonathan  Ross  to  dinner  vithout  hever  a 
telling  er  hor  hus,  hand  cook  hand  hall  hon  us  har  hin  a 
regular  fix,  hand  no  mistake  heether."  The  passengers  by 
the  stage  had  the  advantage  of  hearing  Davis,  the  footman, 
lecture  his  master ;  and  they,  as  well  as  the  coachman, 
being  rather  curious  to  know  what  it  all  meant,  and  Syden 
ham  coaches  generally  not  being  in  a  hurry,  they  had  now 
to  listen  to  the  master  opening  upon  his  domestic.  "-Task 
Sir  Jonathan  Ross  to  dinner!  what  the  deuce  do  you 
mean  ? "  "  Veil,  sir,  hall  hi  know  his,  Sir  Jonathan  has 
l)i 'en  ha  sitting  hin  the  drawing-room  vith  missus  for  more 


HOW  SIR  JOHN   ROSS   LOST   HIS  DINNER.  35 

than  han  our."  This  intimation  made  the  master  hurry 
into  his  house  and  up-stairs  to  the  presence  of  his  wife  with 
all  dispatch,  when  the  first  words  that  met  his  ears  were, 
"  Why,  my  dear,  we  were  afraid  of  some  accident,  as  Sir 
John  has  been  here  for  almost  an  hour."  Mr.  — —  of 
course  knew  Sir  John  Ross — at  least  by  name  and  fame — 
although  the  distinguished  sailor  until  that  afternoon  in 
Gracechurch  Street  was  not  in  the  least  aware  that  such  a 

person  existed  as  Mr. of  Sydenham.    The  explanation 

or   denouement  on  Sir  John's  part  was   speedy,   and  its 

sequitur  equally  so,  delivered  very  gruffly.  "  Oh,  Mr. ; 

he  lives  on  the  borders  of  Clapham  Common,  some  miles 
from  this,  and  quite  another  road."  Sir  John  declared  this 
to  have  been  uttered  in  a  very  icy  tone,  for  which  he  was 
quite  unprepared  in  his  Fatherland,  having  calculated  that 
as  he  had  lost  one  dinner  owring  to  this  man  having  unfor 
tunately  a  similar  patronymic  to  his  friend,  he  reasonably 
might  expect,  as  being  rather  hungry,  to  be  asked  to  take 
pot-luck  as  a  partial  set-off.  It  proved  otherwise ;  for  the 

only  civility  that  Mr. offered  was  to  desire  his  footman 

to  stop  the  next  coach  for  London,  into  which  Sir  John  Ross 
was  hurried  dinnerless.  Oddly  enough,  at  the  "  Elephant 
and  Castle,"  my  brother,  then  on  his  way  home,  saw  poor 
Sir  John  Ross.  "  Hallo  !  "  exclaimed  my  brother,  "  I 
thought  you  had  discussed  your  turtle  an  hour  ago  with 
our  friend."  "  I  must  get  out  of  the  coach  to  tell  you  all 
about  it."  "  Then  you  have  had  no  dinner  ?  "  said  my 
brother.  "None,"  emphatically,  and  at  the  same  time 
pathetically,  answered  Sir  John.  "  Nor  have  I,"  said  my 
brother,  "  although  it  is  so  late ;  so  come  along." 

Accordingly  Sir  John's  third  trial  for  a  dinner  was  suc 
cessful.  Under  our  mahogany  the  brave  old  sailor  soon 
found  restored  that  appetite  which  he  had  lost  in  his  visit 
to  Sydenham.  It  would  have  been  unpardonable  to  allow 
the  gentleman  from  Sydenham  to  escape  scot-free  ;  and  on 


36  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

the  following  Monday  the  affair  became  known  to  some  old 
friends  of  the  party  on  Change. 

Never  was  a  man  more  unmercifully  quizzed ;  and  he 
deserved  it.  "Here  comes  the  most  hospitable  man  in 
England."  "  How  did  Sir  John  Ross  relish  that  old  port  ?  " 
etc.  Others  spoke  in  plainer  language,  and  it  was  only 
out  of  a  good  feeling  for  the  youthful  bride  that  proceed 
ings  were  stayed. 

If  a  feast  at  the  Albion  or  Freemasons'  Tavern  to  a 
hundred  guests  could  have  saved  the  sexagenarian  of  Syd- 
enham  from  the  criticism  which  his  want  of  hospitality  had 
brought  down  upon  him,  he  would  have  been  only  too 
happy  to  have  provided  such  an  entertainment. 

In  respect  to  Sir  John's  old  schoolfellow,  it  is  reasonable 
to  conclude  that  when  he  next  invited  the  K.  C.  B.  to  din 
ner,  he  gave  him  a  somewhat  more  defined  address  than 
simply  "  Gracechurch  Street." 

21.  Saying  Farewell  to  Sir  John  Franklin. 

I  never  pass  the  Athenaeum  Club  without  stopping  to 
contemplate  the  statue  of  Franklin,  which  vividly  recalls 
the  following  incident : 

My  friend  Tom  Bushby,  the  rear-admiral,  with  his  wife, 
who  had  come  down  to  see  us  in  Kent,  and  next  morning 
(Sunday)  he  received  a  note  from  a  naval  friend  in  town  to 
say  that  Franklin  and  Crosier  were  adjusting  or  swinging 
compasses  at  Greenhithe,  and  would  proceed  on  their 
voyage  that  night  or  the  following  morning.  Accordingly, 
after  church  and  lunch  we  drove  across  the  country  to 
Greenhithe,  and  went  on  board  Sir  John  Franklin's  ship. 
I  had  never  previously  seen  the  distinguished  sailor  (a 
survivor  of  Trafalgar),  who,  after  receiving  the  ladies  of  our 
party,  took  me  by  the  hand,  saying,  "  Bushby,  you  need 
not  introduce  me  in  this  quarter ;  I  know  him  from  his  like- 


SAYING  FAREWELL   TO   SIR  JOHN  FRANKLIN.         37 

ness  to  his  brother."  My  brother  had  visited  Sir  John 
Franklin  when  Governor  of  Van  Diemen's  Land,  or  as  it  is 
now  more  generally  called,  Tasmania,  and  had  received 
great  kindness  and  attention  from  himself  and  Lady  Frank 
lin  at  Government  House.  We  went  to  the  saloon,  where 
Lady  Franklin  with  a  few  relatives  were  just  finishing  the 
last-  Sunday's  dinner  she  was  ever  to  partake  with  that 
husband  whose  sad  fate  she  subsequently  devoted  years  of 
firm  and  determined  resolution  to  elucidate.  A  similarly 
distressing  task  I  had  five  years  afterward  to  engage  in 
for  the  same  brother  to  whom  Sir  John  Franklin  declared  I 
bore  a  striking  resemblance.  To  the  solution  of  that 
brother's  fate  my  family  and  myself  stand  indebted  to 
another  gallant  sailor,  Admiral  Sir  Henry  Mangles  Denham, 
F.  R.  S.  Sir  John  appeared  in  buoyant  spirits,  for  in  pass 
ing  to  the  cabin  where  the  ladies  were,  he  said,  "  Bushby, 
don't  mention  Mr.  Boyd's  name,  as  I  wish  to  see  whether 
my  wife  detects  the  likeness. — :My  dear,  do  you  know 
who  this  gentleman  is  ?  "  "  Why,  it  is  Mr.  Boyd's  broth 
er."  I  well  remember,  in  a  bumper  of  port,  accompanied 
by  a  few  remarks,  drinking  Sir  John  Franklin's  health,  and 
all  success  to  the  expedition.  After  this,  Sir  John,  leading 
the  way,  showed  us  over  his  ship,  explaining  to  us  many  of 
those  arrangements  which,  as  may  be  conceived,  were  as 
multifarious  as  they  were  minute,  for  braving  the  winters 
of  the  Northern  regions.  As  the  period  of  our  visit  was 
drawing  to  a  close,  he  asked  me  if  I  should  like  to  see 
Captain  Crosier's  ship.  I  said,  "  Very  much  indeed  ; "  on 
which  he  took  his  speaking-trumpet,  and  called  to  him  to 
show  us  his  lions. 

We  then  bade  adieu  to  Sir  John  and  his  officers,  with 
a  parting  salutation  to  as  fine  a  ship's  company  as  I  ever 
beheld. 

After  spending  an  hour  with  Captain  Crosier,  who,  like 
Sir  John,  spared  himself  no  trouble  to  point  out  what  he 


38  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

thought    would    interest   us,    we    returned    home    highly 
pleased  with  our  visit. 

With  the  exception  of  Lady  Franklin  and  her  own 
party,  Admiral  and  Mrs.  Bushby  with  my  wife  and  myself 
were  the  last  to  say  farewell  to  Sir  John  Franklin. 

22.   The  Late  Earl  of  Cardigan. 

No  military  man  "  in  the  piping  times  of  peace  "  ever 
attracted  more  criticism  than  this  noble  Earl,  ci-devant 
Lord  Brudenell.  There  was  his  high  social  position,  his 
large  fortune,  his  rapid  promotion  under  the  system  of  pur 
chase,  his  martinet  manners  with  his  officers,  his  popularity 
with  his  men,  his  love  of  the  profession,  his  readiness  at  all 
times,  if  the  necessity  arose,  to  fight  a  duel.  But  he  had 
other  good  points,  which  fully  equalled  his  dashing  bravery 
in  the  Crimea. 

When  the  late  General  Sir  De  Lacy  Evans  was  prepar 
ing  the  expeditionary  force  to  Spain  (1835-'36),  a  youngster, 
the  son  of  an  old  and  meritorious  Peninsular  officer,  whom 
Lord  Cardigan  (then  Lord  Brudenell)  had  known  when  he 
first  joined  the  service,  was  appointed  to  a  cornetcy  in  one 
of  the  two  cavalry  regiments  then  being  raised.  But  the 
youth  was  without  any  means  whatever.  Lord  Brudenell 
accidentally  heard  of  the  fact,  and  immediately  came  to  his 
relief,  had  him  fully  equipped  at  his  own  expense,  and,  in 
addition  to  this,  lined  the  young  cornet's  purse  with  an 
ample  sum  to  make  the  ways  and  means  run  easy  until  he 
had  reached  his  destination.  I  only  knew  Lord  Cardigan 
by  sight ;  but  the  above  fact  was  given  to  me  by  one  of  the 
most  promising  officers  and  estimable  men  in  the  army,  the 
late  Colonel  Lauderdale  Maule,  79th  Highlanders. 

23.  Field-Marshal  Lord  Clyde. 

While  many  a  man  has  risen  to  a  lieutenant-colonel's 
commission  without  having  seen  a  shot  fired  in  earnest,  the 


FIELD-MARSHAL   LORD   CLYDE.  39 

gallant  Colin  Campbell,  the  volunteer  in  two  or  more  "  for 
lorn  hopes  "  during  the  Peninsular  War,  in  one  of  which  he 
was  twice  severely  wounded,  although  recommended  for 
his  bravery  for  promotion  at  the  Horse  Guards  by  Lord 
Wellington  himself,  came  out  of  the  great  Peninsular 
struggle  a  captain.  At  the  present  time,  not  only  would 
he  have  received  his  step  of  promotion,  but  it  would  have 
been  accompanied  with  the  Victoria  cross. 

I  confidently  believe  that  without  the  friendship,  and 
something  more,  of  one  kind  and  generous  man — a  West 
India  merchant  whom  I  have  met  in  society — the  gallant 
Campbell  would  never  have  borne  a  field-marshal's  baton, 
won  a  peerage,  or  been  laid  to  rest  in  Westminster  Abbey 
Years  after  the  war,  Campbell,  still  a  captain  in  the  21st 
Regiment,  was  with  a  detachment  at  Demerara  or  Berbice. 
He  had  received  a  letter  from  his  agent  in  London,  men 
tioning  an  approaching  vacancy  in  his  regiment  by  the 
early  retirement  of  a  field  officer.  Campbell,  who  read  the 
paragraph  in  the  house  of  a  friend,  remarked,  "There 
again,  the  old  story;  that  youngster" — indicating  the 
party — "who  has  the  cash  will  obtain  the  step;  a  ma 
jority."  His  friend  inquired,  apparently  without  any 
other  object  than  curiosity,  what  sum  he,  the  "  youngster," 
would  have  to  pay.  Campbell  replied  so-and-so.  The  con 
versation  dropped ;  but  his  good  and  warm-hearted  friend, 
by  the  return  of  the  packet,  instructed  his  correspondent 
in  London  instantly  to  pay  the  sum  required  to  the  army 
agents  for  the  purchase  of  the  majority  in  the  21st  Regi 
ment  of  Foot  for  Captain  Colin  Campbell. 

In  a  couple  or  three  months — there  being  no  mail 
steamers  in  those  days — a  Gazette  arrived,  and  to  Camp 
bell's  astonishment  he  saw  his  promotion.  He  declared  to 
his  friend  that  it  was  a  painful  and  provoking  mistake, 
which  would,  as  a  matter  of  course,  be  rectified  in  the  fol 
lowing  Gazette.  His  friend  felt  convinced  it  was  no  mis- 


40  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

take,  and  told  him  so ;  but  to  keep  the  gallant  Highlander 
no  longer  in  suspense,  gave  him  some  insight  into  the  cause 
of  the  promotion  which  had  been  gazetted. 

24.  Lord  Clyde  in  Private  Life. 

In  private  society  no  one  was  a  more  welcome  guest 
than  Colonel  Colin  Campbell.  He  was  naturally  of  a  warm 
and  joyous  disposition.  In  another  relation  of  life  he  was 
a  good  son  and  brother.  To  no  friends  in  London  did  he 
more  cordially  attach  himself  than  to  those  whose  kindness 
and  hospitality  he  had  formerly  experienced  in  the  West 
Indies.  I  had  the  pleasure  of  seeing  him  a  guest  at  my 
brother's  table  and  my  own,  and  elsewhere  in  society,  espe 
cially  at  one  friend's  house,  where  for  many  years  previous 
to  his  accompanying  Lord  Saltoun's  expedition  to  China  I 
always  met  him  on  New-Year's  Day.  Nothing  short  of 
the  commands  of  her  Majesty  to  dine  at  Windsor  Castle  or 
Buckingham  Palace  would  have  prevented  Colin  Campbell 
from  fulfilling  his  standing  engagement  to  dine  with  his 
kind  and  hospitable  friend  in  Park  Crescent.  The  party 
generally  numbered  twenty,  and  if  once  on  the  New- Year's 
Day  list  of  our  friend,  were  you  married  or  single,  you 
were  expected,  if  in  London,  to  dine  with  him. 

I  enjoyed  that  privilege  for  twenty-five  years,  never 
having  missed  a  single  anniversary ;  but  as  may  be  con 
ceived,  in  so  long  a  period  I  saw  many  chairs  to  be  filled 
up  in  succession  to  such  men  as  General  Lord  Keane,  Gen 
eral  Lord  O'Neill,  the  Honorable  Admiral  Best,  General 
Sir  Charles  Smith,  and  many  others  ;  for,  in  fact,  I  believe, 
if  not  always  on  January  1st — as  my  friend's  dinners  during 
the  year  numbered  legion — I  have  met  in  that  most  hospi 
table  of  mansions  almost  every  governor  or  commander-in- 
chief  who  had  held  office  or  hoisted  his  flag  in  the  West 
Indies  during  the  present  century  down  to  1853-'54. 


LORD   CLYDE   IN  PRIVATE   LIFE.  41 

An  evening  party  usually  followed,  when  our  host  never 
failed  to  make  Colin  Campbell  master  of  ithe  ceremonies. 
If  a  quadrille  required  a  couple  to  make  it  up,  the  Colonel 
was  ready;  and  it  rarely  happened  that  any  young  lady 
remained  without  a  partner,  for  if  the  future  hero  of 
Lucknow  could  not  find  one  for  her,  he  danced  with  her 
himself. 

Lord  Clyde,  or  rather  Colin  Campbell,  at  these  happy  re 
unions  frequently  indulged  in  sly  caustic  humor,  and  could 
bring  out  the  recital  of  an  amusing  grievance  as  well  as 
any  man  I  ever  knew.  One  of  our  party,  who  like  myself 
lived  to  complete  his  twenty-fifth  anniversary  dinner  in 
Park  Crescent,  was  that  excellent  man  who  has  lately 
passed  away  at  the  age  of  ninety,  the  late  Mr.  Edward 
Marshall,  Chief  Examiner  of  Accounts  at  the  War  Office, 
where  he  had  served  for  half  a  century,  not  reckoning 
two  years  he  passed  in  Ireland,  where  he  acted  as  pri 
vate  secretary  to  Sir  Arthur  Wellesley  when  Secretary  for 
Ireland.  Mr.  Marshall  was  an  encyclopaedia  of  knowledge 
in  regard  to  military  details,  and,  in  fact,  in  all  things  ap 
pertaining  to  the  military,  naval,  and  civil  services  gener 
ally  ;  and  as  the  guests  were  chiefly  military  or  naval  men, 
he  was  constantly  referred  to. 

It  would  seem  that  the  office  of  the  Secretary-at-War, 
which  department  superintended  and  guided  wars  on  a 
large  scale,  was  not  itself  exempt  at  times  from  little  wars 
within  its  own  walls. 

Lord  Palmerston  and  Mr.  Marshall  did  not  always  ride 
their  horses  together.  The  former,  one  day,  directed  Mr. 
Marshall  to  prepare  for  transmission  abroad  an  important 
document,  which  instruction  the  latter  had  most  carefully 
carried  out,  sending  the  paper  by  a  clerk  or  messenger  to 
his  lordship,  then  in  his  own  room.  In  its  perusal,  Lord 
Palmerston  came  to  the  word  "  waggon,"  which  his  amanu 
ensis  had  spelt  with  one  "  g."  Not  taking  the  same  view 


42  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

of  orthography,  his  lordship  said  to  the  messenger,  "Take 
that  back  to  Mr.  Marshall"  (of  course  unsigned  by  his 
lordship).  In  a  few  minutes  the  messenger  returned  with 
two  dictionaries,  one  or  both  of  which  authorized  the  word 
being  spelt  either  with  one  "  g "  or  two.  "  Carry  back 
these  books  to  Mr.  Marshall,  and  assure  him  I  do  not  re 
quire  to  be  told  how  to  spell  waggon  ;  "  and  he  dashed  the 
books  on  the  floor. 

On  another  occasion  Lord  Palmerston  came  into  his 
room  and  said,  "  Here,  Marshall,  is  a  very  long  affair,  and 
I  know  you  will  give  it  your  immediate  and  undivided  at 
tention,  as  I  wish  to  have  it  back  either  to-night  or  early 
to-morrow  forenoon."  Mr.  Marshall,  seeing  his  lordship's 
anxiety  for  dispatch,  assured  him  that  it  should  be  forth 
with  attended  to.  "  But  what,"  said  our  friend,  "  do  you 
tJiutk  of  Lord  Palmerston,  on  leaving  my  room,  quietly 
locking  my  door,  putting  the  key  in  his  pocket,  and  all  this 
without  my  knowing  it  ?  When  lunch-time  arrived  I  found 
myself  locked  in.  I  rang  the  bell,  and  only  obtained  my 
freedom  by  having  the  lock  picked."  Of  course  we  agreed 
that  the  noble  Secretary-at-War  took  this  precaution  to  pre 
vent  the  future  Chief  Examiner  of  Accounts  from  being 
interrupted  ;  but  that  view  of  the  case  we  never  could  per 
suade  the  latter  to  admit. 

An  hour  or  two  afterward  Lord  Palmerston  returned  and 
found  Mr.  Marshall's  door  open  and  his  official  hard  at  work. 
The  incensed  gentleman  took  the  initiative  with  his  chief. 
"  My  lord  I  am  now  no  longer  a  school-boy ;  I  am  as  old,  if 
not  older,  than  your  lordship,  and  I  must  beg  your  lordship 
in  future  not  to  lock  my  door."  Although  we  had  often 
heard  the  story,  it  was  incumbent  upon  us  to  ask  how  his 
lordship  took  this  sharp  rebuke.  "Oh,  he  smiled,  and 
made  the  amende"  "Ah!  Marshall,"  said  Colin  Camp 
bell,  or  some  one  else,  "  I  have  no  doubt  Lord  Palmerston, 
although  you  won't  confess  it,  assured  you,  in  his  own 


LORD   CLYDE  IN  PRIVATE   LIFE.  43 

happy  manner,  that  what  he  had  done  was  to  prevent  in 
truders."  That  view  of  the  matter  never  satisfied  our 
friend,  for  thirty  years  afterward  his  feelings  appeared  to 
be  as  little  assuaged  as  on  the  day  of  the  occurrence. 

We  had  another  good  joke  against  our  amiable  friend, 
to  which  he  smiled  acquiescence  when  it  was  alluded  to. 
He  was  about  to  be  married,  and  had  promised  to  breakfast 
with  his  best  man  on  the  morning  of  the  ceremony.  He 
arrived  at  his  friend's  house  in  a  full  suit  of  newly-built 
black.  His  friend  scanned  him  over.  "  Why,  Marshall, 
good  gracious !  we  are  going  to  a  marriage,  and  that  mar 
riage  your  own ;  my  good  fellow,  we  are  not  going  to  a 
funeral.  Do  you  understand  that  ?  "  "I  assure  you,"  said 
the  bridegroom-elect,  "they  are  fresh  from  my  tailor's. 
Will  they  not  answer  ?  "  "  Not  at  all."  "  But  I  never  wear 
any  thing  else  than  black.  What  do  you  advise  me  to  do  ?  " 
"  Why,  finish  your  breakfast  and  come  up  to  my  room,  where 
I  shall  redress  you  in  a  more  fitting  color  for  a  marriage, 
although  possibly  in  a  less  fitting  suit  for  you."  Accord 
ingly  he  was  married  in  the  garments  furnished  from  his 
friend's  wardrobe. 

Marshall  knew  Sam  Rogers  the  poet ;  and  one  of  his 
recollections  of  the  poet-banker  was  his  dread  and  horror  of 
practical  jokers,  arising  from  the  following  circumstance, 
which,  although  it  may  be  well  known  in  connection  with 
the  history  of  the  author  of  the  "  Pleasures  of  Memory," 
I  never  heard  until  my  friend  related  it.  Rogers  was  hang 
ing  on  the  arm  of  a  friend  in  St.  James  Street,  a  notorious 
practical  joker.  They  had  reached  Piccadilly  at  the  moment 
a  coach  from  the  West  of  England  was  setting  down  its 
passengers,  one  of  whom,  on  alighting,  discovering  that  one 
of  his  shoestrings  was  loose,  had  stooped  to  tie  it,  and  had 
accidentally  thrown  up  his  coat  over  his  shoulder,  leaving 
the  lower  part  of  his  back  denuded  of  its  legitimate  cover 
ing.  The  practical  joker  could  not  resist  the  tempting  op- 


44  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

portunity  for  distinguishing  himself,  and,  dropping  the 
poet's  arm,  gave  the  unhappy  traveller  a  tremendous  slap 
with  the  palm  of  his  hand.  Pain  and  indignation — I  con 
clude  both — brought  the  sufferer  instantly  to  his  legs. 
"  What  do  you  mean,  sir  ?  I  was  only  tying  my  shoe." 
"  Tying  your  shoe,  sir;  you  are  always  tying  your  shoe ! " 
Then  walking  coolly  away  he  put  his  arm  into  Rogers's,  who 
was  almost  prostrate  with  terror  at  what  he  had  witnessed, 
and  left  the  unfortunate  and  insulted  traveller  to  turn  over 
in  his  mind  whether  his  assailant  was  not  a  madman,  or 
whether  he  himself,  by  the  accidental  turning  up  of  his  coat, 
had  not  offended  against  some  recent  police  regulation  of 
which  he  was  not  cognizant.  Be  that  as  it  may,  never  was 
a  man  happier  than  Sam  Rogers  to  find  that  he  and  his 
companion  were  not  pursued  by  the  aggrieved  party  ;  and 
when  relieved  from  that  source  of  anxiety,  never  was  any 
one  more  thoroughly  resolved  than  the  poet  for  the  future 
to  avoid  the  society  of  practical  jokers. 

There  was  a  standing  joke  against  the  Chief  Examiner 
of  Army  Accounts,  which,  I  am  told,  lasted  during  the  war, 
and  indeed  more  or  less  to  the  day  of  his  death.  "  Ah, 
Marshall,  you  know  it  was  you  who  selected  Sir  Arthur  Wel- 
lesley  to  command  the  army  of  the  Peninsula."  I  had  ac 
companied  my  friend  to  his  club,  the  Union,  after  a  dinner 
party,  at  which  he  had  been  congratulated  by  Campbell  or 
some  one  else  for  his  foresight  in  selecting  so  good  a  general 
to  meet  the  legions  of  the  great  Napoleon  on  the  Iberian 
Peninsula,  and  later  on  the  plains  of  Waterloo.  The  con 
versation  generally  wound  up  by  a  severe  attack  upon  the 
advisers  of  the  Crown  for  neglecting  to  recommend  Edward 
Marshall  to  be  the  recipient  of  an  hereditary  distinction. 
Marshall  was  an  extremely  sensible  man,  and  I  never  saw 
him  ruffled  in  the  least  with  all  this  banter,  to  which  he  al 
ways  submitted  in  great  good  humor.  I  was  anxious  to 
know  the  precise  origin  of  a  joke  I  had  heard  so  often,  and  he 


LORD   CLYDE  IN  PRIVATE   LIFE.  45 

told  me  the  whole  story,  with  much  more  of  a  highly-inter 
esting  nature  in  reference  to  the  "  Iron  Duke,"  during  the 
period  through  which  he  was  associated  with  him  in  Ireland. 
He  said  :  "I  was  in  the  habit  of  keeping  up  a  close  cor 
respondence  from  Dublin  with  an  esteemed  colleague  of 
mine  in  one  of  the  Government  offices  at  Whitehall,  and 
much  of  that  correspondence  related  to  the  illustrious 
statesman  and  general  under  whom  I  was  then  serving ;  for 
he  was,  even  at  that  time,  '  illustrious '  as  the  hero  of  Assaye. 
I  described  Sir  Arthur  to  my  friend  as  the  most  remarkable 
public  man  with  whom  I  had  ever  been  thrown  into  com 
munication,  for  there  was  nothing,  however  abstruse,  -in  pub 
lic  affairs  which  he  could  not  at  once  master.  For  instance, 
on  one  occasion  the  Government  wrote  to  him  to  ask  his 
opinion  on  the  Tithe  Commutation  Act  for  Ireland.  Al 
most  simultaneously  with  this  was  a  dispatch  from  Down 
ing  Street  requiring  his  views  on  the  defences  of  the  king 
dom.  '  Here,'  I  said,  '  is  a  question  for  the  distinguished 
soldier  to  be  at  home  in  ; '  and  his  reply  to  the  authorities 
proved  that  such  was  the  case."  He  instantly  set  to  work 
and  wrote  an  elaborate  minute  on  Tithe  Commutation 
(which  Marshall  transcribed),  and  although  the  question 
was  shelved  for  a  period,  when  Earl  Grey's  Government 
came  into  power,  the  very  paper  which  Sir  Arthur  Wel- 
lesley  had  furnished  to  his  own  Government  a  quarter 
of  a  century  before  was  the  one  which  Lord  Grey  and 
the  members  of  his  Cabinet  mainly  applied  to  and  acted 
upon.  "  I  presume,"  continued  my  friend, "  when  a  general 
was  wanted  to  meet  the  great  Napoleon  in  Spain  I  must 
have  expatiated  on  the  qualifications  of  my  own  chief  as 
better  suited  than  any  other,  in  my  humble  opinion.  It  ap 
peared,  of  which  I  was  entirely  unaware,  that  my  letters, 
with  which  I  had  taken  some  pains  for  the  information  of 
one  whom  I  very  much  esteemed,  but  never  contemplating 
they  were  to  be  seen  beyond  himself  and  his  own  immedi- 


40  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

ate  circle,  were  regularly  perused  by  Lord  Castlereagli,  Sir 
Arthur  Wellesley's  earliest  patron  and  stanchest  supporter 
in  the  Cabinet ;  and  he,  I  conclude,  was  not  displeased  to 
hear  even  the  opinion  of  a  young  Treasury  official  who  had 
presumed  to  write  so  much  ad  libitum  regarding  his  chief 
the  Secretary  of  State  for  Ireland ;  for  occasionally,  on  the 
receipt  of  the  news  of  some  victory  in  Spain,  if  I  acciden 
tally  met  Lord  Castlereagh,  he  would  stop  and  say  :  '  All, 
Marshall,  you  formed  a  correct  estimate  of  Lord  Wellington 
in  Ireland,'  adding,  as  he  pointed  his  finger  to  his  head,  *  I 
knew  it  was  here.' " 

"  That,  my  dear  friend,"  addressing  me,  "  is  the  full  ex 
tent  of  my  share  in  the  appointment  of  Sir  Arthur  Welles- 
ley  to  command  that  army  whose  achievements  culminated 
on  the  plains  of  Waterloo." 

Mr.  Marshall  stated  further  in  regard  to  Sir  Arthur  Wel- 
lesley,  that  he  never  witnessed  the  business  of  a  public  de 
partment  better  looked  after  than  that  of  the  gallant  Irish 
Secretary.  He  was  up  very  early,  and  had  his  official  du 
ties  cleared  off  by  mid-day,  so  that  in  the  afternoon  he  would 
be  seen  on  horseback  in  the  gayest  throngs  of  the  Irish 
fashionable  world,  impressing  the  mind  of  the  spectator 
that  Sir  Arthur  belonged  to  the  dolce  far  niente  class,  rather 
than  that  he  was  one  who  had  previously  done  a  good  day's 
work. 

25.   The  Pi-eston  Miller  in  the  Gallery  of  the  House  of 
Commons. 

I  once  witnessed  a  laughable  occurrence  in  the  House  of 
Commons.  A  country  cousin  of  mine  had  asked  me  to  take 
him  to  the  Gallery  of  the  House  of  Commons — his  first 
visit  to  that  august  region.  Mr.  O'Connell  was  expatiating 
on  the  wrongs  of  his  country,  and  charging  England  \\itli 
being  a  heavy  drain  on  unhappy  Ireland.  A  well-dressed 
man  close  to  us  shouted  at  the  top  of  his  voice,  "  You  are  a 


THE  MILLER  IN  THE  HOUSE  OF   COMMONS.  47 

liar ! "  Down  sat  the  honorable  and  learned  member,  up 
rose  the  Speaker  (Sir  C.  Manners  Sutton)  and  in  his  clear, 
mellifluous  voice  exclaimed,  "  Sergeant-at-arms,  do  your 
duty."  The  doors  of  the  gallery  flew  open,  and  the  noisy 
offender  was  in  custody.  A  minute  more,  and  he  was  in  the 
presence  of  the  House.  The  Speaker  again  arose,  and  in 
that  majestic  tone  which  was  so  much  admired,  addressed 
the  delinquent :  "  Prisoner  at  the  bar,  what  have  you  to  say 
in  explanation  of  the  grave  insult  you  have  offered  to  the 
dignity  of  this  House  ? "  The  utmost  silence  prevailed, 
when  the  prisoner,  in  a  facile,  jaunty  style,  addressed  the 
head  of  the  Commons  of  England  thus  :  "  Mr.  Speaker, 
when  I  heard  the  honorable  and  learned  member  for  the 
county  of  Clare  assert " — "  Stop,"  exclaimed  the  Speaker, 
"  you  are  adding  insult  to  insult.  I  ask  you  what  explana 
tion  you  have  to  give  to  the  offended  dignity  of  this  House 
for  the  insult  of  which  you  have  just  been  guilty  ?  "  The 
prisoner,  who  appeared  quite  at  ease,  in  no  ways  discon 
certed  or  abashed — rather  the  reverse — for  he  seemed  to  be 
elevated  in  his  own  opinion  in  regard  to  the  prominent  po 
sition  he  had  so  rapidly  attained,  again  essayed  to  address 
the  House.  "  I  do  assure  you,  Mr.  Speaker,  that  when  I  list 
ened  " — "  Stop,  sir !  "  roared  the  Speaker,  probably  in  a 
higher  key  than  he  had  ever  previously  reached  within  the 
walls  of  Parliament  or  out  of  them. 

The  House  was  convulsed ;  and  the  laughter  was  not 
diminished  by  a  member  calling  out,  "  Let  the  prisoner 
proceed  with  his  explanation."  After  the  House  was  par 
tially  relieved,  and  a  suppressed  conversation  had  suc 
ceeded  the  other  species  of  entertainment,  Mr.  O'Connell 
rose,  and  appealed  to  the  Speaker,  whether  it  was  not  the 
better  course  to  dismiss  the  wretched  man  (never  was  a 
word  more  misapplied  than  wretched)  at  the  bar  from  cus 
tody,  than  to  sacrifice  any  more  of  the  valuable  time  of  the 
House.  Sir  Robert  Peel  opposed  this  course  ;  but  to  save 


48  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

any  further  loss  of  time — it  appearing  quite  evident  to  Sir 
Robert  that  even  if  the  prisoner  intended  to  make  an  apol 
ogy,  he  would  not  do  so  without  an  introductory  speech, 
having  already  more  than  satisfied  the  House  that  he  pos 
sessed,  to  a  large  extent,  the  caco'tthes  loquendi — he  moved 
that  the  prisoner  be  committed  to  the  custody  of  the  ser- 
geant-at-arms,  and  brought  to  the  bar  of  the  House  the  fol 
lowing  day.  The  prisoner  was  taken  off  in  custody ;  but 
it  was  some  minutes  before  the  gravity  of  the  House  re 
turned.  Next  day,  the  prisoner  was  brought  up,  his  elo 
quence  having  subsided  in  the  interval,  as  he  made  a  full 
apology,  and  for  his  escapade  the  miller  from  Lancashire 
had  the  satisfaction  afforded  him,  in  return  for  having  had 
the  privilege  of  twice  addressing  the  House,  of  paying  its 
fees,  amounting  to  £15  or  £16. 

2G.  David  Roberts,  JR.  A. 

I  had  the  pleasure  of  knowing  the  late  Mr.  Roberts 
rather  intimately,  having  been  a  member  of  two  clubs  to 
which  he  belonged.  He  had  been  invited  by  a  relation  of 
mine  to  meet  a  party  of  friends  at  dinner,  but  coming  late 
was  well  rated  for  his  want  of  punctuality.  He  promised 
to  explain  the  cause  on  the  removal  of  the  cloth.  One  of 
the  guests  was  the  late  eminent  Scotch  Whig,  Mr.  James 
Stuart  of  Dunearn,  through  life  a  warm  supporter  of  artists, 
and  an  excellent  judge  of  pictures. 

The  moment  had  arrived  for  Roberts's  explanation, 
when  he  declared  he  would  at  once  enter  upon  it,  provided 
he  was  allowed  to  conclude  by  giving  a  bumper  toast.  This 
we  readily  conceded.  He  said,  "  I  have  now  the  sincerest 
pleasure  in  meeting  for  the  first  time,  and  seeing  for  the 
first  time,  a  gentleman  who  was  my  earliest  patron  thirty 
years  ago  "  (Mr.  Stuart,  who  was  all  attention,  being  quite 
at  a  loss  to  what  the  Royal  Academician  referred).  "  When 


LORD   BROUGHAM.  49 

I  was  a  poor  friendless  boy  in  Edinburgh,  I  was  in  the 
habit  of  making  little  sketches  ;  and  one  of  my  productions 
having  been  praised  in  my  own  humble  family  circle,  I  was 
recommended  to  send  it  into  an  exhibition  for  the  produc 
tions  of  young  artists,  then  patronized  by  the  gentry  of 
modern  Athens.  In  a  few  days  the  secretary  of  the  insti 
tution  sent  for  me  to  tell  me  my  painting  had  been  pur 
chased,  '  And  by  whom  do  you  think,'  said  the  official  ?  '  By 
no  one  less  than  Mr.  Stuart  of  Dunearn,  and  for  ten  shillings 
more  than  you  asked — thirty  shillings.'  I  rushed  home  to 
inform  my  poor  mother  of  my  good  fortune,  that  my  £  wee 
pictur '  had  been  bought  for  two  pounds  by  Mr.  Stuart.  From 
that  moment  my  career  of  success  commenced,  and  this  even 
ing  on  my  way  here  I  delivered  to  Mr.  Jones  Loyd  "  (Lord 
Overstone)  "  niy  picture  of  Edinburgh  "  (which  we  had  all 
just  seen  in  the  Exhibition  in  Trafalgar  Square), "  for  which 
I  have  received  this  little  piece  of  paper  (throwing  down  on 
the  table  a  check  for  £525 — five  hundred  guineas).  "  I  now 
propose  the  health  of  my  earliest  patron,  Mr.  Stuart."  This 
was  immediately  followed  by  the  health  of  his  latest  patron, 
Mr.  Jones  Loyd ;  and  both  toasts,  as  may  be  readily  con 
ceived,  were  received  with  great  enthusiasm. 

27.  Lord  Brougham. 

I  heard  Mr.  Stuart  of  Dunearn  describe  the  extraordi 
nary  power  which  this  distinguished  orator  had  in  quickly 
mastering  a  subject.  He  mentioned  an  instance  of  a  visit 
which  the  rising  barrister  and  future  statesman  paid  him  at 
his  seat  in  Fifeshire.  He  had  placed  on  his  visitor's  bed 
room  table  a  new  work  just  published,  which  was  causing 
at  the  time  considerable  interest.  At  breakfast  Dunearn 
said,  "  Brougham,  you  must  have  sat  up  late  last  night,  as 
I  thought  I  heard  you  moving  about  your  room  when  I  was 
half  through  my  night's  rest."  "  Oh,  yes,  it  is  quite  true. 
I  wished  to  read  the  volume  you  left  for  me."  The  book 
3 


50  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

being  somewhat  a  large  one,  Dunearn  remarked :  "  You 
don't  mean  to  say  you  achieved  that  ?  "  "  Well  of  course 
I  read  rapidly,  but  I  am  now  quite  au  fait  with  its  con 
tents."  Mr.  Stuart  had  read  it  attentively,  and  being 
anxious  to  hear  Mr.  Brougham's  views,  found  him  at  home 
on  every  point  to  which  he  called  his  attention. 

Dunearn  described  to  me  his  first  visit  to  London  with 
Harry  Brougham.  I  believe  at  the  time  they  were  young 
sters  attending  the  high-school  of  Edinburgh  or  the  uni- 
vesity.  Among  their  first  lions  in  the  metropolis  to  visit 
was  the  gallery  of  the  House  of  Commons.  An  important 
debate  was  going  on.  Brougham  became  greatly  inter 
ested  in  it,  and  every  now  and  then  he  whispered,  "  Oh ! 
Stuart,  this  is  very  fine."  He  had  repeated  this  several 
times,  and  just  as  the  gallery  was  about  to  be  cleared 
for  the  division  he  said :  "  Stuart,  you'll  see  me  here  some 
day." 

In  1832,  I  met  Mr.  (afterward  'Sir  Francis)  Walker 
Drummond,  of  Hawthornden,  at  dinner  in  London,  when 
he  told  us  with  much  heartiness :  "  Well,  to-day  Stuart  and 
I  have  been  down  to  the  House  of  Lords  to  see  our  old 
schoolfellow,  Harry  Brougham,  on  the  woolsack."  About 
Brougham  Mr.  Stuart  mentioned  the  following  anecdote : 

There  was  a  rule  among  the  Scotch  judges  and  the 
senior  members  of  the  bar,  when  on  circuit,  that  they  only 
had  the  privilege  of  drinking  claret;  the  juniors  being 
restricted  to  sherry  and  port.  The  circuit  was  at  Ayr,  and 
Brougham  sat  as  senior  member  of  the  junior  bar  present, 
just  "  under  the  salt."  The  claret  came  down  to  him,  and 
should  then  have  crossed  the  table  without  paying  tribute, 
but  each  time  it  came,  Brougham  filled  his  glass. 

This  had  been  observed  by  the  president.  "  Do  you 
sec,"  said  his  lordship  to  his  friends  on  the  right  and  left, 
"that  impudent  fallow.  Brougham,  helping  himself  to 
claret.  If  he  tries  it  again,  I'll  speak  to  him." 


"NO  BOBBING  HERE,   BOYD."  51 

Round  came  the  claret,  and  Brougham  as  usual  filled  a 
bumper.  "  Maister  Brougham,"  exclaimed  his  lordship, 
ore  rotundo,  "  that's  claret."  "  I  know  it  is,  my  lord,  and 
excellent,"  was  his  cool  reply. 

At  the  hospitable  table  of  a  friend  near  Harrow,  I  met 
a  gentleman  who  had  spent  one  Christmas  recess  at 
Brougham  Hall  in  Westmoreland  with  the  Lord  Chancellor 
and  his  aged  mother.  The  old  lady  was  sitting  by  the  fire 
in  her  arm-chair  with  her  illustrious  son  between  herself 
and  her  visitors,  when  Mrs.  Brougham,  tapping  the  Chan 
cellor  on  the  arm,  said  in  her  purest  Scotch,  which  I  believe 
she  never  lost:  " Hary,  you  should  never  hae  left  the 
Hoose  o'  Commons."  To  which  he  replied:  "I  believe, 
mother,  you  are  quite  right." 

28.  "Wo  bobbin ff  here,  Boyd"  (Lord  Clyde}. 

The  siege  of  Antwerp,  in  1832,  attracted  many  military 
and  civilian  amateurs  from  London,  among  the  latter  my 
late  brother.  He  was  an  intimate  friend  of  Colonel  Colin 
Campbell  (Lord  Clyde),  who  was  then  at  Antwerp  report 
ing  the  progress  of  the  siege,  as  was  believed  in  a  semi 
official  capacity,  to  the  British  Government. 

On  one  occasion  the  colonel  and  my  brother  were 
watching,  in  rather  an  exposed  position,  some  heavy  firing 
between  one  of  the  Dutch  and  one  of  the  French  batteries. 
Campbell,  observing  my  brother  suddenly  make  a  profound 
bow  to  a  shell  that  was  passing  nearer  his  head  than  was 
agreeable,  called  out  in  stentorian  voice,  at  the  same  time 
crossing  his  arms  and  looking  extremely  stern :  "  No  bob 
bing  here,  Boyd,  no  bobbing  here."  Then  sotto  voce: 
"  Don't  you  see  who  are  close  to  us  ?  "  (a  party  of  French 
officers.) 

My  brother,  by  way  of  being  facetious,  supposing  the 
Peninsular  hero  was  no  longer  at  fever  heat,  remarked : 


52  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

"  But  you  know  it  is  your  profession,  not  mine."  To  whicb 
the  future  field-marshal  sharply  retorted :  "  Then  what  the 

brought  you  here?"     It  was  a  standing  joke  against 

my  relative,  which  the  colonel  heartily  enjoyed  and  often 
told.  My  brother,  however,  firmly  maintained  that  he  had 
precedent  on  his  side  for  bobbing  the  first  time  under  fire, 
but  Campbell  contended  that  the  plea  was  inadmissible 
when  Frenchmen  were  so  near. 

29.  The  Grand  Duke  Constantine  of  Russia  at  the 
Island  of  lona. 

Captain  Charles  G.  Robinson,  R,  N.  (now  Admiral 
Robinson),  the  writer's  brother-in-law,  who  commanded  for 
some  years  one  of  her  Majesty's  steamers  in  his  survey  of 
the  west  coast  of  Scotland,  used  to  relate  a  circumstance 
showing  the  strict  observance  of  the  "Sabbath"  in  the 
western  islands.  He  had  instructions  from  the  Lords  of 
the  Admiralty  to  receive  on  board  his  ship  his  Imperial 
Highness  the  Grand  Duke  Constantine  of  Russia,  with 
directions  to  escort  him  to  as  many  points  of  interest  on 
the  west  coast,  and  in  as  brief  period  as  possible,  as  the 
grand  duke  was  on  the  eve  of  returning  to  Russia.  It 
unfortunately  happened  that  Captain  Robinson  steamed 
toward  the  famous  little  island  of  lona,  and  dropped  his 
anchor  in  its  sacred  waters  with  the  Russian  flag  flying  on 
the  "Sabbath  "day. 

No  doubt  the  subject  of  this  famous  island  as  the  re 
treat  of  learning  during  the  Gothic  ignorance  which  per 
vaded  Europe  after  the  overthrow  of  the  Roman  empire, 
and  as  the  seat  of  learning  from  which  issued  those  pious 
monks  and  laymen  who  were  again  to  revive  and  propagate 
Christianity  throughout  Europe  had  been  ably  and  exten 
sively  discussed  in  the  gallant  captain's  cabin  the  previous 
evening  with  the  illustrious  passenger ;  but  great  was  Cap- 


THE  DUKE   OF  GLOUCESTER.  53 

tain  Robinson's  disappointment,  in  landing  for  the  purpose 
of  acting  as  the  Grand  Ducal  cicerone,  while  inspecting 
the  remains  of  those  monastic  ruins  so  interesting  to  the 
archaeologist  and  traveller,  to  discover  that  the  custodian  of 
the  keys  would  be  no  party  to  the  royal  visit  on  a  Sunday. 
Captain  Robinson  knew  the  man,  but  no  persuasion  would 
induce  him  to  resign  the  keys  for  even  half  an  hour.  The 
captain  then  explained  how  urgent  time  was,  but  it  was  of 
no  avail.  He  then  tried  what  a  great  name  would  do,  and 
asked  the  obdurate  Ionian  if  he  was  aware  whom  he  had 
brought  to  the  island  ?  "  O,  ay,  Captain !  I  ken  that  fu' 
weel x  by  the  flag ;  he's  the  Emperor  o'  a' 2  the  Russias." 
"No,"  said  the  captain,  "he. is  not  the  emperor,  but  he  is 
the  emperor's  second  son,  and  admiral  of  the  Russian 
navy."  "  Weel,  Captain  Robinson,  I  ken  you  vera  weel,  3 
and  there's  nae  officer  in  her  majesty's  navy  we  like  'better 
to  see  at  our  wee  island  than  yersel,  but  had  it  been  Queen 
Victoria  her  ainsel  I  wadna'  gie  up  the  keys  on  the  '  Lord's 
Day.* "  The  captain  during  this  discussion  kept  the  illus 
trious  tourist,  with  the  members  of  his  suite  and  some  of 
his  own  officers,  at  a  little  distance,  pending  the  negotia 
tion  ;  but  seeing  it  was  a  hopeless  case,  brought  it  to  a 
close  by  remarking :  "  I  presume  you  would  not  be  so 
scrupulous  in  drinking  a  glass  of  whiskey  on  the  Sabbath 
Day  ?"  "  That's  a  different  thing  entirely,  Captain  Robin 
son."  The  visit  to  lona  concluded  by  the  gallant  captain 
persuading  his  imperial  highness  to  jump  and  scale  walls, 
and  inspect  antiquities,  and  thus  make  himself,  under  the 
circumstances,  independent  of  the  holder  of  the  keys. 

30.   The  Duke  of  Gloucester  and  the  Mayor  of  Liverpool. 

His  Royal  Highness,  when  general-in-command  of  the 
Lancashire  district  at  the  end  of  last  or  the  beginning  of 
1  I  know  that  quite  well.  2  of  all.  3  very  well. 


54  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

the  present  century,  received  great  attention  and  hospi 
tality  from  the  corporation  of  Liverpool.  One  of  the 
mayors,  whose  table  he  frequently  honored  with  "his  pres 
ence,  was  an  especial  favorite  with  the  royal  Duke,  but 
the  worshipful  gentleman  had  not  had  in  early  life  the 
advantage  of  much  education.  The  Duke  used  to  relate 
two  anecdotes  of  the  worthy  mayor.  He  was  seated  at 
the  chief  magistrate's  right  hand  at  dinner.  It  was  in  the 
dog  days.  When  the  fish  was  introduced,  it  was  speedily 
discovered  by  all  whose  olfactory  organs  were  in  the  least 
sensitive,  to  be  in  such  a  progressive  state  that  his  royal 
highness,  with  the  guests  on  both  sides  the  table,  lost  no 
time  in  sending  away  their  plates.  Still  the  mayor  went 
on  with  his  fish.  "  Mayor,  Mayor,"  said  the  Duke,  "  do 
send  away  your  plate  —  the  fish  is  quite  tainted."  The 
mayor,  at  the  moment  he  was  addressed  by  royalty,  was  in 
the  act  of  taking  another  mouthful.  "  I  thank  your  Royal 
Highness,  but  I  have  a  stomach  that  will  disgoust  any 
thing."  On  another  occasion,  the  mayor  was  a  good  deal 
surprised  to  observe  that  his  royal  highness  did  not  send 
for  a  second  supply  of  turtle.  "  Surely  your  Royal  High 
ness  will  take  another  help  of  turtle  soup  ?  "  "  No  thank 
you,  Mayor."  "  Do  pray,  your  Royal  Highness,  fill  your 
royal  stomach,"  was  the  reply,  "for  there's  plenty  more  in 

the  kitchen." 

• 

31.   Only  one  Word  out  of  Place. 

Soon  after  the  conclusion  of  the  late  war  between  the 
Northern  and  Southern  States  I  was  introduced  by  my 
friend  Mr.  Ward,  an  American  citizen  who  had  resided  for 
many  years  in  this  country,  to  General  Burnside,  since 
nominated  to  a  seat  in  the  Cabinet  at  Washington,  as 
Minister  of  War.  This  distinguished  soldier  told  me  he 
had  entered  the  war  a  Captain  of  Engineers,  coming  out  of 
it  a  Major-General.  I  never  passed  a  few  hours  more  agree- 


ONLY   ONE  WORD   OUT   OF  PLACE.  55 

ably  than  I  did  with  the  gallant  officer.  He  gave  expres 
sion  to  his  own  views  without  reserve  or  any  apparent  bias ; 
whereas  my  friend  Ward,  who  has  since  passed  away  from 
us,  a  very  excellent  man,  who  had  spent  the  greater  por 
tion  of  his  life  in  London,  where  he  had  acquired  a  large 
fortune,  was  politically  as  deeply  prejudiced  against  Eng 
land  and  English  institutions  as  on  the  day  he  first  landed 
on  our  shores  from  the  United  States.  In  fact,  during  the 
five  years  of  my  intimacy  with  him  I  never  heard  him  praise 
or  applaud  any  thing  English.  He  was  even  reticent  in 
regard  to  the  fair  sex.  Opposite  General  Burnside  and 
Mr.  Ward  at  dinner  sat  a  countryman  of  mine,  whose  affec 
tion  and  admiration  for  the  land  o'  cakes  remained  unalloyed 
and  undiminished,  but  who  had  never  studied  that  line  of 
Scotia's  great  poet : 

"  To  see  ourselves  as  others  see  us." 

For  there  was  little  or  no  difference  between  friend  Ward 
and  himself  in  respect  to  national  predilections,  inasmuch 
as  with  the  one  there  \vas  nothing  perfect  out  of  Scotland, 
and  with  the  other  nothing  perfect  out  of  the  North  Amer 
ican  States.  Still  my  countryman  "  thocht  it  vera,  vera 
wrang  that  Maister  Ward,  who  had  made  all  his  cash  in  the 
ceety  o'  London,  should  be  forever  Tinning  doun  and  de 
preciating  this  country.  Die  ye  think,"  said  he,  "  that  if 
I  had  made  ma  money  in  London,  I  would  be  forever  dis 
paraging  it  ?  It's  a  blote  and  a  vera  serious  blote  in  Mr. 
Ward's  character ;  it  is  vera,  vera  ungrateful  toward  that 
ceety  which  made  him  a  laarge  capitalist.  Hoo  vera 
different  from  his  distinguished  frien\  the  general,  who  if 
he  were  not  a  strong-minded  and  discreet  man  and  only 
coming  to  this  country  for  a  few  weeks,  he  might  return  to 
America  wi'  some  of  Ward's  wrang  impressions  !  As  it  is, 
he  led  the  general  to  maJc  a  single  observation  which  I'm 
sure  he  did  not  mean  offensively,  but,  nevertheless,  it  went 
rccht  through  me  as  a  Scotchman."  I  asked  to  what  he 


56  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

alluded.  "  Oh,  donnt  you  recollect  ?  it  happened  just  after 
we  had  dined.  Ward  was  going  on  as  usual,  telling  us 
that  if  we  didna  keep  a  calm  sough  (civil  tongue) — the 
Alabama  claims  were  under  discussion  —  America  would 
teach  our  little  island  a  lesson  we  should  long  remember; 
and  by  way  of  giving  weight  to  his  assertion,  he  added, 
*  I'll  appeal  to  the  general  here.'  All  the  general  said  was 
little,  but  it  was  deevilish  severe,  and  it  went  through  me 
like  a  dagger.  '  We  have  no  wish  to  hurt  poor  old  grand 
mamma.'  Onnly  fancy  the  words,  '  Puir  auld  Grandmamma' 
applied  to  Great  Britain !  !  It  stung  me  to  my  vera  vitals. 
It  spok  volumes,  just  as  if  we  were  a  puir  worn-out  country 
that  could  be  subjugated  at  onny  time,  but  it  was  all 
Ward's  doing,  confound  him." 

I  never  afterward  saw  the  general,  which  I  much  re 
gretted  ;  but  he  has  my  best  wishes  that  he  may  be  as  dis 
tinguished  in  the  cabinet  as  he  was  in  the  field. 

32.  A  /Scotchman's  First  Visit  to  Windsor. 

My  father  used  to  relate  an  anecdote  of  a  country 
friend  of  his  who  in  1795  or  1796  arrived  in  London  from 
Scotland,  to  spend  a  week  or  ten  days,  being  his  first  ap 
pearance  in  the  English  metropolis.  The  first  few  days  he 
lionized  his  visitor  in  town,  and  Saturday  having  arrived 
and  about  to  close,  my  father  asked  him  where  he  would 
like  to  attend  divine  service  the  following  day,  St.  Paul's 
or  Westminster  Abbey  ?  "  Weel,  as  I  hae  seen  baith, 1  I 
acknowledge  if  it  is  «' a  the  same  to  you,  that  I  should 
greatly  like  to  see  King  George,  Queen  Charlotte,  with 
the  princes  and  princesses,  at  their  ain  kirk  in  Windsor ; 
besides,  it  would  be  killing  sae  mony  dogs  ici  ae  stane  to 
see  the  royal  family  thegither  • 8  and  although  it  is  in  my 
opinion  far  from  recht,4  still  as  it  is  so,  I  would  hae  nae 
1  both.  s  all.  8  together.  4  right. 


A  SCOTCHMAN'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  WINDSOR.  57 

objection  to  gang  on  the  Terrace  at  Windsor  after  the  kirk 
had  scaled, *  and  see  the  royal  family  walking  there — all 
which  I  hae  read  o'  in  the  newspapers,  and  listen  to  the 
band  o'  music,  although  for  ma  ain  part,  I  disapprove  o' 
music  on  the  Lord's  Day."  "  Well,"  said  my  father,  "  you 
must  mention  all  this  to  my  mother,  for  unless  she  consents 
to  accompany  us,  I  cannot  leave  the  old  lady  in  London." 
My  grandmother  was  gained  over,  and  at  an  early  hour 
next  morning  the  carriage  was  on  its  way  to  Windsor,  reach 
ing  the  castle  yard  in  good  time  for  the  service  at  the 
Chapel  Royal.  Our  friend  from  Scotland  was  highly  satis 
fied  with  having  said  his  prayers  in  company  with  King 
George,  Queen  Charlotte,  and  the  larger  portion  of  the 
royal  family.  After  service  lunch  at  the  Castle  Hotel 
followed,  and  as  a  preliminary  to  a  stroll  down  the  long 
walk,  dinner  had  to  be  ordered.  But  before  this  was  ar 
ranged  my  father  asked  his  friend  if  there  was  any  thing  he 
particularly  liked.  "  Na,  my  good  sir,  I  live  very  plainly 
at  Uame,  but  there  is  ae  thing  I  am  vera  fond  of,  and  I  am 
told  it  is  better  in  England  than  ony  where  else,  I  allude 
to  dooJcs  and  green  peas."  "  Ah,"  said  my  father,  "  I  find 
you  are  no  bad  judge  of  what  is  good,  but  ducks  and  green 
peas  are  most  expensive."  "  Weel,  it  is  onrily  once  in  a 
way,  and  I  dar  say  1  shall  never  be  at  Windsor  again,  and 
I  wish  you  would  just  allow  me  to  order  the  dooks  and 
green  peas  on  my  own  account."  "  Oh,"  said  my  father, 
"  I  cannot  object  to  that,  but  recollect  what  I  have  told 
you."  "  x\h,  never  mind  that,  my  kind  friend,  that  part  o ' 
the  dinner  shall  be  mine."  After  the  long  walk  had  been 
explored  the  party  repaired  to  the  terrace,  where  the  king, 
queen,  and  royal  circle,  soon  afterward  appeared,  and  the 
worthy  Caledonian  had  to  submit  to  a  large  infliction  of 
music,  which  vibrated  on  his  Presbyterian  ear  on  a  "  Sab 
bath"  perhaps  as  strangely  as  a  Spanish  bull-fight  strikes 
1  The  congregation  had  separated. 


58  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

the  eyes  of  an  Englishman  who  beholds  it  for  the  first 
time. 

However,  my  father  considered  that  his  friend  and 
countryman  had  so  far  passed  through  the  trying  ordeal  of 
the  early  division  of  a  day  at  Windsor  with  wonderful 
tranquillity  and  composure  without  any  apparent  violent 
disturbance  of  conscience,  either  in  listening  to  the  tones 
of  the  organ  in  the  Chapel  Royal,  or  to  those  of  the  mili 
tary  band  on  the  Terrace. 

They  now  returned  to  the  hotel  for  dinner,  and  after 
the  fish,  soup,  and  possibly  entrees,  had  justice  done  to  them, 
the  "  dooks  and  green  peas  "  came  on  the  table.  Personal 
appearance  has  much  to  do  with  success  in  this  world; 
and  the  ducks  and  green  peas  secured  an  instant  tribute  of 
praise.  He  had  never  seen  in  the  whole  coorse  of  his  life 
finer  birdies,  or  peas  so  weel  dressed,  in  fact,  every  thing  he 
had  ever  heard  of  dooJes  and  green  peas  in  England  was 
now  confirmed.  "There  is  no  doubt,"  said  my  father, 
"  that  you  are  correct  in  that,  and  they  should  be  better 
than  in  Scotland  or  anywhere  else  if  the  quality  is  to  be 
regulated  by  the  price,  for  the  charge  they  make  for  this 
article  of  food  is  quite  monstrous."  "  Have  you  any  idea," 
said  my  countryman,  "  what  '  dooks '  like  these  will  cost, 
for  really  they  are  fine  birdies  ? "  The  first  gleam  as  to 
price  had  evidently  at  last  broke  upon  him.  "  I  cannot  tell 
you  at  present,"  said  my  father,  "  but  you  will  hear  of  it 
soon  enough,  so  let  us  proceed  with  our  dinner,  arid  talk  of 
this  afterward,  and  I  am  in  no  way  to  blame,  as  I  intended 
to  have  ordered  a  nice  small  saddle  of  Welsh  mutton,  which 
I  dare  say  you  never  met  with  in  Scotland."  My  father's 
brother  was  one  of  the  party,  but  the  difficulty  was  to  keep 
my  grandmother  in  the  dark  as  to  the  ruse  which  was  being 
concocted.  As  the  day  drew  near  its  close,  and  a  twenty- 
miles'  drive  to  London  lay  before  them,  two  orders  had  to 
be  issued,  the  bill  and  the  carriage.  My  father  quietly  left 


A  SCOTCHMAN'S  FIRST  VISIT   TO  WINDSOR.  59 

the  room,  paid  the  bill,  and  enlisted  the  landlord  as  parti- 
ceps  criminis  in  the  hoax  that  was  to  be  practised  on  his 
Scotch  friend. 

Dinner.  So  and  so. 

£     8.  d. 

Wine,  etc.,  in  all   .      ......         .         .         .       1    18  0 

Ducks  and  green  peas  for  4,  at  £3  3s.  each     .     12  .12  0 

£14   10  0 

The  waiter  handed  the  bill  to  my  father  and  retired. 
"  Ah,  just  as  I  expected,  enormous,  but  my  part  of  the 
bill  is  moderate  enough,  £1  ISs."  "  What,"  inquired  his 
friend,  "  is  the  sum  tot-al  ?  "  "  Why  here  is  the  bill,  and  I 
very  much  regret  to  say  you  are  charged  £12  12s.  for  the 
confounded  ducks  and  green  peas."  Fortunately,  my  grand 
mother  had  retired  to  prepare  for  the  home  journey,  as  at 
this  juncture  my  father  described  the  excitement  of  the 
visitor  to  Windsor  as  something  bordering  on  the  terrible, 
and  there  was  every  probability  of  his  Majesty's  liege  sub 
jects  being  disturbed  in  passing,  by  such  exclamations  as 
"  Most  scandalous  charge  ;  villanous  imposition ;  disgrace 
ful  robbery,"  etc.  "  Why,  I  verily  believe  I  could  buy  a' 
the  dooJcs  in  my  part  o'  Wigtonshire  for  twelve  guineas, 
and  the  green  peas  into  the  bargain ;  but,"  addressing  my 
father,  "  it's  a'  ma  ain  fault,  for  you  gave  me  timely  warn 
ing  no  to  meddle  wi1  sic  like  food."  "  Ah,"  said  my  father, 
"  you  must  keep  yourself  calm,  for  it  will  not  do  for  you 
to  speak  so  loud  in  Windsor,  and  what  is  very  unfortunate 
I  brought  very  little  money,  not  calculating  on  an  expen 
sive  dinner,  but  I  can  pay  the  £1  18s.,  and  the  hostler's 
charge  for  the  horses.  Now,  William,"  addressing  his 
brother,  "  what  money  have  you  ?  "  "  Only  thirty  shil 
lings."  Then  applying  to  his  friend,  whom  he  adjured  to 
keep  cool,  "  What  money  have  you  got  in  your  purse  ? 
"  Weelj  here's  every  penny  I  hae  in  my  pocket,  as  I 
dinna  like  carrying  much  money  aboot  me  in  the  street? 


60  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

of  London."  The  amount  proved  to  be  five  pounds  and  a 
few  shillings.  "This,"  said  my  father,  "is  very  awkward, 
for  it  will  never  do  to  offer  to  pay  half  the  bill.  The  only 
way  I  see  to  meet  the  difficulty  is  this,  that  as  my  brother 
and  myself  have  to  be  in  London  early  to-morrow,  and 
under  any  circumstances  must  return  to-night  with  the  old 
lady,  who  never  likes  to  change  her  bed,  we  have  no  other 
alternative  than  leaving  you  behind  in  pawn  as  it  may  be 
termed,  and  my  servant  shall  ride  down  the  first  thing  in 
the  morning  with  the  cash  to  redeem  you."  "  Leave  me 
alane  in  a  strange  country  and  amang  a  set  o'  d — d  rob 
bers  !  Na,  na  •  I  am  ready  to-morrow  (Monday)  morning 
to  pay  this  swindling  bill,  but  if  King  George  himself  cam 
doonfrae  the  palace  there,  and  asked  me  to  sleep  in  this 
confoonded  inn,  I  would  refuse.  JVa,  I'll  speak  to  the 
landlord  from  the  inside  o'  }'our  carriage,"  which  by  this 
time  had  come  round  to  the  door;  and,  fearing  even  the 
bare  possibility  of  detention,  he  forthwith  bolted  down 
stairs,  and  hurried  into  the  carriage,  where  my  grand 
mother  was  seated.  The  old  lady,  who  was  still  in  the 
dark  as  to  the  trick  her  sons  had  been  playing  their  friend, 
became  quite  alarmed  at  the  excited  manner  in  which  their 
visitor  had  bustled  into  the  carriage,  where  he  instantly 
screwed  himself  into  a  corner,  squinting  out  in  a  direction 
exactly  opposite  to  landlord  and  waiters  standing  outside 
the  door.  My  father  and  his  brother  getting  into  the  car 
riage  and  driving  from  the  door  soon  comforted  their  friend, 
whose  first  inquiry  was  how  they  had  managed  with  that 
"  awfu  shark  o'  a  landlord  ?  "  "  Why,  of  course,  by  telling 
him  that  you  did  not  wish  to  run  away  without  paying  the 
bill,  and  that  it  was  your  first  visit  to  Windsor,  and  that 
you  were  ignorant  on  the  subject  of  ducks  and  green  peas, 
but  wrould  know  better  next  time."  "  That  is  quite  true." 
Then  addressing  my  grandmother,  "  Why,  madam,  I  shall 
never  thole  (endure)  the  sicht  o'  (looks  and  green  peas  for 


A  DISTINGUISHED  NEPHEW.  61 

the  remainder  o'  my  life."  "  I  cannot  understand  you," 
said  the  old  lady.  "  Then,  madam,  you  have  not  seen  the 
bill  o'  the  dinner  which  your  son  has  had  so  much  difficulty 
in  settling."  "  Do  show  your  mother  the  disgraceful  bill, 
which  I  would  like  to  frame  and  hang  over  my  mantel-piece 
in  my  dinner  room  at  hame" 

She  soon  inspected  the  document,  and  at  once  detected 
the  large  item  of  £12  1.2s.  for  ducks  and  green  peas.  The 
denouement  arrived  by  the  old  lady  handing  back  the  bill, 
which  she  designated  "a  work  of  fiction,  barely  suited 
for  a  week-day  joke,  and  altogether  improper  for  the  Sab 
bath." 

.  In  after-years,  in  Scotland,  my  worthy  friend,  as  an  old 
man,  often  told  the  Windsor  story  with  great  glee,  expati 
ating  upon  it  as  being  one  of  the  most  successful  Hox-es 
he  ever  knew. 

33.  A  Distinguished  Nephew. 

My  brother  and  myself  received  an  invitation  to  dinner 
from  our  friend  the  late  Mr.  John  Ritchie,  father  of  the  late 
Advocate-General  of  Bengal,  whom  Lord  Canning  subse 
quently  appointed  a  member  of  the  Supreme  Council,  and 
whose  premature  death  at  an  early  age,  in  the  midst  of  a 
brilliant  professional  career,  was  so  deeply  mourned  by  a 
large  circle  of  private  friends  and  public  admirers. 

I  was  unable  to  dine  with  my  friend ;  and  next  day  my 
brother  told  me  I  had  lost  the  opportunity  of  meeting  one 
of  the  most  extraordinary  young  men  he  had  ever  met  in 
society.  This  was  William  Makepeace  Thackeray.  The 
public  had  yet  to  read  "Pendennis,"  "The  Virginians," 
"Vanity  Fair,"  "English  Humorists,"  etc.  He  was  a 
great  favorite  with  his  uncle  Ritchie,  who,  while  he  was  a 
boy  at  school,  had  foretold  that  such  brilliant  talents  must 
lead  to  a  conspicuous  career.  A  good  many  years  after  this, 
I  was  one  morning  on  the  railway  platform  at  Brighton, 


62  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

coming  to  town  by  the  express,  when  I  observed  the  gifted 
author  passing  to  and  fro,  peering  into  different  carriages, 
unable  to  find  a  place.  There  was  one  vacant  in  our  car 
riage,  and  I  brought  him  back  to  occupy  it.  We  had  been 
disappointed  in  our  London  newspapers,  the  consequence 
of  which  was  that  before  we  were  almost  through  the  first 
tunnel  an  animated  conversation  was  going  on,  though  my 
distingushed  fellow-traveller  remained  silent. 

I  began  by  asking  one  of  the  party,  a  banker  of  note, 
some  question  or  other,  which  I  knew  would  receive  an 
effective  reply — probably,  the  cause  of  the  large  shipments 
of  specie  at  that  moment  being  made  to  China.  A  short 
discussion  on  Eastern  banking  ensued,  which-I  did  not  un 
necessarily  prolong,  as  I  had  to  unfold  the  avocations  of 
three  others  of  the  party,  so  that  I  had  to  proceed  at  once 
with  my  process  of  development,  otherwise  the  express 
train,  by  which  we  were  then  rapidly  approaching  Reigate, 
would,  I  saw,  defeat  me.  One  of  our  party  was  connected 
in  commercial  affairs  with  America  and  the  \Vest  Indies : 
no  doubt  the  high  price  of  cotton  and  miserably  low  price 
of  sugar,  which  I,  as  a  matter  of  course,  glanced  at,  were 
indices  sufficient  to  show  my  astute  friend  the  table  of 
contents  of  traveller  No.  2.  There  were  two  of  our  fellow- 
passengers  as  to  whom  and  their  callings  the  great  littera 
teur  was  still  unenlightened.  They  were  both  leading 
members  of  the  money  market ;  and  as  I  was  racing  against 
time,  I  had  to  launch  out  at  once  into  stocks  and  shares, 
contango  and  backwardation,  and  every  other  puzzling 
term  I  could  think  of  for  the  edification  of  my  friend,  whom 
I  had  watched  narrowly  throughout  our  journey,  and  dis 
covered  that  the  olla  podrida  I  was  serving  him  with  was 
extremely  palatable  ;  so  that  by  the  time  we  were  entering 
the  London  Bridge  station,  "  I  guess  we  had  boxed  the 
financial  and  commercial  compass  pretty  considerably." 

I  accompanied  my  companion  into  the  city,  and  during 


A  DISTINGUISHED  NEPHEW.  63 

our  short  drive  lie  said :  "  What  a  lot  of  subjects  we  have 
been  discussing !  and  my  impression  is,  you  brought  them 
on  the  tapis  on  my  account."  "  Solely,"  I  said,  "  especially 
as  I  could  not  speak  to  you  at  the  commencement  of  the 
journey  sotto  voce,  for  I  soon  perceived  you  were  puzzling 
your  heavily-taxed  brain  as  to  the  four  individuals  with 
whom  you  were  to  be  imprisoned  on  our  journey."  In 
wishing  me  good-morning,  he  said  he  should  not  easily 
forget  the  trip  from  Brighton,  nor  the  manner  in  which  I 
had  furnished  him  with  a  glossary  of  the  occupants  of  car 
riage  No.  63,  adding  :  "  Why,  you  compressed  within  an 
hour  information  sufficient  to  have  been  spread  over  a 
week."  "  Ah,  recollect,"  I  said,  "  we  were  travelling  by 
express,  and  as  we  do  not  every  day  meet  a  Thackeray,  I 
should  let  him  into  a  secret — videlicet,  that  I  wished  to  set 
off  my  friends  as  well  as  myself  to  the  best  advantage." 
"  And  you  succeeded  admirably  in  doing  so."  "Now  pray 
do  not  make  a  Scotchman  blush  so  early  in  the  day.  Au 
revoir  !  " 

A  friend  of  mine  had  been  an  unsuccessful  candidate  for 
parliamentary  honors,  and  resolved  to  drown  his  disappoint 
ment  by  treating  a  party  of  exhausted  M.  P.'s,  at  the  end 
of  the  parliamentary  session,  to  a  whitebait  dinner  at  Green 
wich.  I  found  myself  unexpectedly  asked  to  officiate  as 
vice-chairman,  and  was  equally  unprepared  for  the  unlooked- 
for  pleasure  and  distinction  of  having  as  my  right-hand  sup 
porter  Mr.  Thackeray.  The  latter  had  never  met  so  many 
Scotchmen  at  dinner  before,  or  at  least  at  a  Greenwich 
whitebait  party.  There  was  an  immense  amount  of  post 
prandial  oratory,  involving  much  mutual  laudation.  "  Good 
gracious,"  said  he  to  me,  in  a  whisper,  "  do  they  mean  all 
they  say  ?  for,  if  so,  there  are  some  three  or  four  men  at 
this  table  already — how  many  more  may  come  to  the  sur 
face  before  the  evening  closes  I  know  not — qualified  to  be 
prime  ministers ;  what  say  you  ?  "  I  could  only  tell  him 


04  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

that  it  was  pure  metal — no  alloy  whatever,  for  he  must 
have  observed  that  Scotchmen  are  averse  to  waste  any 
thing,  even  oratory.  "So  it  is  not  claw  me  and  I'll  claw 
you?"  "Oh  dear  no."  "Then,"  whispered  Thackeray, 
"  I  have  been  extremely  remiss  in  not  having  carefully  pe 
rused  the  debates  during  the  past  session,  so  as  to  have  been 
familiar  with  the  political  characteristics  of  your  great 
Scotch  statesmen.  Your  explanation,"  he  added,  "  being 
so  perfectly  conclusive,  and  as  you  make  every  thing  so  self- 
evident,  you  may  be  equally  able  to  enlighten  me  on  an 
other  point.  I  am  told  there  are  several  men  of  immense 
wealth  at  this  table."  "  Quite  true."  "  That  being  the 
case,  is  there  one  of  them,  supposing  I  stood  in  need  of  it, 
that  would  lend  me  £1,000  ?  "  "A  dozen,  you  may  be 
sure.  There  would  be  quite  a  rush  and  scramble  who  to 
get  his  check-book  out  first  to  fill  up  the  amount."  "  Thank 
you  very  much  for  the  information,  and  if  there  are  any 
marines  at  Greenwich  oblige  me  by  telling  them  this." 

34.  A  Deputation  to  the  Colonial  Minister  on  Australian 
Affairs. 

I  had  been  intrusted  by  the  Pastoral  Association  of 
New  South  Wales  with  a  large  number  of  petitions  to 
both  Houses  of  Parliament,  embodying  the  claims  of  the 
squatters  of  Australia  to  have  granted  to  them  leases  of 
their  runs,  instead  of  being  merely  yearly  tenants  of  the 
Crown,  liable  to  have  their  licenses  withdrawn  at  the  whim 
or  caprice  of  a  Boundary  Commissioner,  or  other  official  of 
the  Colonial  Government.  There  had  occurred  some  very 
grievous  cases  of  oppression,  to  which  the  "  squatters,"  as 
the  owners  of  the  herds  and  flocks,  and  as  the  pioneers  of 
the  increasing  prosperity  of  the  huge  island-continent  of 
New  Holland,  felt  that  they  could  no  longer  submit.  The 
petitions  having  been  presented  to  Parliament,  we  had  next 
to  arrange  a  deputation  to  wait  upon  the  Colonial  Minister 


A  DEPUTATION  TO   THE   COLONIAL   MINISTER.          65 

— at  that  time  Lord  Derby,  or  rather,  I  should  say,  Lord 
Stanley,  for  as  yet  he  had  not  succeeded  to  his  father's 
title.  I  had  the  honor  of  being  requested  to  select  the 
members  of  the  deputation,  and  the  applications  to  join  it 
were  very  numerous.  We  were  to  be  introduced  to  the 
Colonial  Secretary  by  a  member  of  the  Lower  House ;  but 
as  neither  he  nor  myself  had  ever  been  in  Australia,  I  saw 
that,  in  approaching  Lord  Stanley,  a  serious  responsibility 
devolved  upon  me  in  having  undertaken  the  nomination  of 
the  individuals  who  were  to  head  the  deputation.  I  there 
fore  resolved  that  no  point  or  topic  in  connection  with  the 
Australian  wool  question,  or  with  the  pastoral  interests  gen 
erally  of  that  widely-extending  region,  should  arise,  either 
directly  or  incidentally,  without  having  some  one  of  our  party 
fully  competent,  as  a  practical  man,  to  impart  the  informa 
tion  the  minister  might  call  for.  I  accordingly  looked  for 
representatives  of  our  Yorkshire  and  West  of  England 
cloth  manufacturers ;  next,  for  one  or  two  squatters  who 
possessed  some  years'  experience  of  Bush  life  in  Australia, 
and  could  recount  its  hardships,  and  explain  the  management 
of  those  vast  flocks  on  the  extensive  area  over  which  they 
pastured.  I  was  right,  for  this  appeared  to  interest  his 
lordship  much,  as  well  as  the  answer  which  one  of  the 
squatters  gave  his  lordship  to  his  inquiry  who  his  neigh 
bors  were  in  the  Bush.  "  Why,  my  lord,  my  two  nearest 
neighbors  I  discovered  to  be  old  Cambridge  Trinity  friends." 
This  struck  the  minister  forcibly,  as  he  remarked  that  it  por 
tended  the  germ  and  nucleus  of  an  important  future  popu 
lation  in  Australia.  I  had  next  to  look  for  support  in 
strengthening  our  deputation  with  representatives  of  the 
London  and  Australian  merchant  and  shipowner,  as  well 
as  the  Sydney,  Melbourne,  and  Adelaide  merchant.  All 
those  interests  were  represented  in  the  sanctum  of  Lord 
Stanley,  and  we  were  accompanied,  besides,  by  one  or  two 
members  of  both  Houses  of  Parliament ;  so  that  we  num- 


66  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

bcrcd  about  twenty-five  in  all  —  as  many,  indeed,  as  there 
were  chairs  to  seat.  The  question  was  entered  upon  seri 
ously,  and  it  proved  a  source  of  extreme  satisfaction  to  me 
to  find  that  no  point  was  mooted  by  the  illustrious  states 
man  (and  none  escaped  him)  which  some  member  of  our 
deputation  could  not  elucidate  and  explain.  His  lordship 
gave  us  an  attentive  hearing,  extending  over  two  hours,  and, 
at  its  conclusion,  intimated  his  willingness  to  grant  leases 
to  the  Australian  squatters,  "  but  not  for  twenty  years,  as 
Mr.  Boyd  asked  —  being  more  than  is  granted  in  this  coun 
try  —  but  on  a  footing  to  be  subsequently  arranged,  and 
which  nothing  would  be  wanting  on  his  part  to  render  sat 
isfactory." 

As  we  rose  to  retire,  his  lordship  very  courteously  said 
that  he  had  never  received  a  body  of  gentlemen  from  whose 
extensive  and  valuable  information  on  matters  of  impor 
tance  in  connection  with  our  southern  possessions  he  had 
gained  more  benefit.  Sir  William  Molesworth,  who  was  a 
few  years  afterward  Colonial  Minister,  subsequently  com 
plimented  me  for  the  judicious  manner  in  which  I  had  culled 
and  selected  the  members  of  the  party  to  wait  upon  Lord 
Stanley,  proving,  as  it  did,  from  the  successful  results  of  that 
day,  that  we  had  approached  the  minister  armed  at  all  points. 
The  honorable  baronet  gave  me  a  carte  blanche,  which  I  fre 
quently  availed  myself  of,  to  call  upon  him  at  all  times, 
either  to  join  future  deputations  to  the  Government  on 
Australian  affairs,  or  indicate  where  I  might  consider  that 
his  services  in  or  out  of  Parliament  would  be  useful. 


35.   The  Late  Major  Nolan,  70£A  Regiment. 

Major  Nolan,  the  father  of  Captain  Nolan,  whose  name 
is  identified  with  the  charge  at  Balaclava,  was  a  man  of 
infinite  humor,  and  told  his  anecdotes  in  a  very  quaint 
style.  The  following,  which  he  told  me,  was  one  of  his 
best  ;  and  he  shall  tell  it  to  the  reader  in  his  own  words  : 


THE  LATE  MAJOR  NOLAN.  67 

"  At  the  time  that  I  was  locum  tenens  for  the  Consul- 
General  at  Milan,  in  1835-'36,  a  countryman  of  yours,  by 
the  name  of  Russell,  called  upon  me  to  have  a  vise  for  his 
passport,  at  the  same  time  handing  me  a  letter  of  intro 
duction,  and  announcing  the  important  fact  that  he  was  so 
much  plaised  with  the  capital  of  the  Austro-Italian  States 
that  he  had  sarious  thoughts  of  remaining  some  weeks  in 
it.  *  All  right,'  said  I,  *  and  that  being  the  case,  you'll 
dine  with  us  to-day ; '  and  I  showed  him  jost  the  same  little 
attention  I  should  have  shown  you  or  any  other  dacent  sort 
of  a  fellow,  and  I  tell  you  that  but  for  the  lapsus,  which  I 
shall  relate,  I  had  no  fault  to  find  with  Russell.  Their 
Imperial  Highnesses  the  Grand  Duke  and  Duchess  had 
issued  invitations  for  an  afternoon  party  at  the  Palace,  and 
I  had  secured  one  for  my  newly-imported  Scotch  friend, 
who  accompanied  Mrs.  Nolan  and  myself.  After  the  pres 
entations  to  their  Imperial  Highnesses  were  concluded,  the 
guests  were  desired  to  be  seated ;  but  it  would  appear  that 
the  Palace  chairs  had  not  been  accustomed  to  receive  a 
full-sized  and  full-weighted  Scotchman,  for  no  sooner  had 
Sawney  sat  down  than  down  went  the  chair,  landing  him 
in  its  debris  on  the  Imparial  floor.  He  got  up  as  spadily 
as  possible,  and,  to  the  great  astonishment  of  the  proud 
members  of  the  Austro-Italian  Court,  commenced  instantly 
to  repair  the  chair,  keeping  back  the  royal  footmen  who 
had  hurried  up  to  remove  the  wreck.  When  I  witnessed 
this,  I  could  have  wished  an  opening  in  the  floor  into  which 
I  could  have  leaped  to  get  out  of  sight,  for  my  vice-consular 
dignity  as  the  representative,  at  the  time,  of  British  majes 
ty  was  sadly  humbled.  But,  will  you  belave  it,  your  coun 
tryman — bad  luck  to  him — continued  his  operations  as 
carpenter,  or  cabinet-maker — both  if  you  like — to  the 
broken-backed  and  broken-legged  chair.  There  was  now 
nothing  else  left  for  me  to  do  than  to  rush  forward  and 
call  out  to  him  in  the  broadest  and  most  emphatic  Scotch, 


68  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

'  What  the  deil  are  you  aboot  ?  Will  you  keep  you  d d 

hauns  o^the  chair,  and  let  the  flunkies  remove  the  bits  ?  ' 
What  do  you  think  he  said  ?  '  I  assure  you,  Major,  I  can 
repair  the  chair ;  I  can  indeed.'  I  had  no\v  lost  all  control 
of  my  temper,  for  the  eyes  of  la  creme  de  la  creme  of  the 
society  of  Northern  Italy  were  upon  me  and  the  Scotchman, 
and  I  exclaimed  in  my  despair — I  fear  not  in  a  subdued 

tone — '  D you  and  your  repairs  ! '      I  was  now  asked 

who  my  friend  was,  and  I  thought  my  best  defence  would 
be  at  once  to  say  that  he  was  a  member  of  the  Russell 
family.  This  saved  me,  for  it  circulated  magically  through 
the  royal  circle  that  he  was  a  scion  of  the  ducal  House  of 
Bedford.  This  affair,  with  his  supposed  connection  with 
Woburn  Abbey,  made  Russell  a  lion,  and  the  inspection 
went  off  right  well,  as  he  was  a  powerfully-built,  good- 
looking  man.  But  such,'  said  the  Major,  '  is  the  dourness 
(obstinacy)  of  Scotchmen,  that  I  never  could  persuade 
Russell  that  he  was  not  quite  en  regie  in  his  endeavor  to 
repair  on  the  spot  the  Emperor  of  Austria's  broken  chair.' " 

36.  A  New  Zealand  Jury  in  the  Early  Days  of  the 
Colony. 

I  was  much  amused  last  summer  by  meeting  with  the 
the  son  of  a  well-known  and  much-respected  Yorkshire 
rector  who  had  spent  fifteen  years  as  a  stock-holder  and 
squatter  in  the  district  of  Otago,  and  hearing  him  describe 
some  of  his  colonial  experiences.  One  of  these  was  the 
non-orthodox,  or,  at  all  events,  unusual  course  pursued  on 
one  occasion  by  a  jury  composed  of  Scotchmen  before  they 
could  agree  on  their  verdict. 

A  midnight  row  and  fight  had  occurred  at  a  sailor's 
public-house  in  Otago,  in  which  one  of  the  earliest  colonists, 
a  Scotchman,  was  killed  in  an  encounter  with  a  foreign 
sailor.  The  coroner  issued  his  warrant,  and  the  prisoner 


A  NEW  ZEALAND   JURY.  09 

was  committed  for  trial.  When  the  case  came  before  the 
judge,  it  was  seen  to  be  clearly  one  of  manslaughter ;  but 
one  of  the  jury  took  a  different  view  of  the  matter,  con 
tending  rather  vociferously  in  the  jury-box  with  his  col 
leagues  that  it  was  murder.  The  judge  therefore  desired 
them  to  retire  and  fully  consider  their  verdict.  The  court 
house  at  Otago  in  those  early  days  was  a  wooden  erection ; 
and  the  authorities,  not  calculating  on  jurymen  disagreeing 
among  themselves,  had  made  no  provision  for  an  apart 
ment  to  which  they  could  adjourn.  Under  these  circum 
stances,  a  room  was  ordered  for  them  in  Donald  Ross's 
public-house.  On  his  way  to  the  hostelry,  one  of  the  jury 
men,  who  resided  in  the  country,  called  at  a  shop  for  a 
parcel  that  was  lying  for  him,  which,  on  rejoining  his 
brother-jurymen,  he  placed  in  the  corner  of  the  room. 
My  informant  was  staying  at  the  inn,  and  occupied  the 
apartment  adjoining;  and  as  the  walls,  at  this  infantine 
period  of  the  future  city  of  Otago,  were  similar  to  those  of 
the  court-house,  every  word  was  heard  by  him.  The  ob 
stinate  juryman  began  by  making  some  slight  apology  for 
having  given  so  much  trouble  in  the  matter,  but  they  must 
recollect  that  the  " puir  murdered  man  was  a  Scotchman, 
and  ane  o'  their  earliest  settlers.  JZboever,  ma  friens, 
you'll  sae  far  agree  w?  me,  that  it  is  dry,  drouthy  icark, 
and  I  propose  that  before  we  begin  we  tak  some  whuskey" 
This  was  unanimously  assented  to ;  the  hand-bell  was 
rung  and  the  floor  stamped  upon  for  Donald  Ross,  the  land 
lord,  also  a  Scotchman,  who  quickly  obeyed  the  summons. 
"  JVoOy  Ross,  let  us  hae  some  o'  yer  vera  best  whuskey,  for 
we  are  a'  terribly  drouthy  w?  that  bothering  job  in  the 
coort,  and  we  canna  settle  the  matter  there,  and  we  are 
ganging  to  try  what  we  can  do  here. "  The  whiskey  was 
soon  brought,  and  dispatched,  when  the  foreman  reminded 
them  that  they  must  now  set  to  work  seriously  and  settle 
their  verdict.  Their  obstinate  friend  confined  himself  to 


70  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

one  point,  and  admonished  them  never  for  a  moment  to 
lose  sicht  o'  the  fact  that  "  the  puir  murdered  man  was  a 
Scotchman,  and  ane  d*  their  earliest  settlers."  "  But,"  said 
the  foreman,  with  the  concurrence  of  the  others,  "  the  judge 
will  not  tak  that  as  a  verdict,  nor  will  he  mind  a  bit  aboot 
his  being  a  countryman  o'  ours."  "  Then,"  said  his  im 
pervious  colleague,  "  his  Honour  must  be  brocht  to  our  way 
o'  thinking,  that  I  am  resolved  on."  "  This  is  naething  but 
nonsense,"  exclaimed  the  foreman,  and  the  others  fully 
supported  him.  "  Weel,  weel,  I  canna  help  that,  the  puir 
murdered  man  was  a  countryman  o'  our  ain — ye  canna 
deny  that — and  ane  <?  our  earliest  settlers.  I  dotfnt  mean 
to  say  I  should  haud  oot  as  I  am  doing  had  he  been  an 
Englishman  or  an  Irishman,  but  I  owe  it  to  Scoteland,  and 
sae  do  you,  to  see  justice  doon,  and  naething  short  o'  hang 
ing  the  scoonerel  will  ever  satisfy  me."  The  foreman  and 
the  rest  of  the  enlightened  panel  were  now  quite  at  a  loss 
how  to  proceed.  "  Weel,  as  I  see,"  said  their  refractory 
friend,  "  that  this  affair  will  occupy  a  good  while  yet  before 
we  can  agree,  I  move  that  we  hae  some  rnair  whuskey,  for 
never  since  I  cam  to  the  colony  was  I  ever  mair  exhausted 
by  ony  thing  than  this."  The  proposal  met  with  no  dissent 
ing  voice,  and  Donald  soon  entered  with  a  fresh  supply  o1 
whuslsey.  While  this  was  being  discussed,  the  eye  of  the 
obdurate  juryman  settled  upon  the  parcel  in  the  corner  of 
the  room.  "What  hae  you  got  in  that  laarge  paper, 
Mac  ?  "  "  Oh,  that's  ma  fiddle :  I  brocht  it  into  the  toon 
last  week  to  be  repaired,  and  I  called  for  it  as  I  was  coming 
here."  "  Oh,  man,  it  is  a  long  time  since  I  hard  ye  play 
the  reel  o'  Tulloch."  "  Nbo,  Mr.  Foreman,  what  dir  ye 
say  to  a  little  music  ?  "  "  Weel,  I  hae  nae  particular  ob 
jection,  but  we  must  not  forget  that  we  must  soon  get  back 
to  the  coort."  The  reel  of  Tulloch-gorum  was  played  in 
Mac's  best  style ;  and  my  narrator  ably  described  my 
countrymen  beating  time  with  their  feet  so  lustily,  and 


QUARTER   OR  HALF-MARGIN.  71 

accompanying  this  with  such  Highland  vociferations,  to 
which  until  that  day  he  was  a  stranger,  that  there  was  some 
peril  of  Donald  Ross's  floor  giving  way. 

The  music  over,  and  the  second  supply  of  wlmskey  fin 
ished,  the  foreman  insisted,  notwithstanding  the  unsettled 
position  of  the  verdict,  of  returning  to  the  court,  where  he 
took  upon  himself  the  responsibility  of  stating  to  the  judge 
that  they  had  agreed  upon  a  verdict  of  manslaughter,  for 
the  whiskey  had  so  far  a  good  effect  on  the  pertinacious 
juryman  as  to  render  him  nearly  altogether  tongue-tied, 
for  all  he  could  manage  to  lisp  out  was  that  "  the  puir  mur 
dered  man  was  a  Scotchman,  and  ane  o'  their  earliest  set 
tlers  ; "  but  he  was  utterly  incapable,  thanks  to  the  wliuskey^ 
of  proceeding  with  his  original  view  of  "  wilful  murder," 
as  contradistinguished  from  manslaughter. 

37.    Quarter  or  Half-Margin. 

A  letter  signed  "  Victoria  Cross  "  appeared  in  the  Pall 
Mall  Gazette  on  October  20,  1868.  "  Victoria  Cross  "  was 
one  of  the  officers  of  the  storming-party  at  the  capture  of 
the  quarries,  an  advanced  work  of  the  Russians  in  front  of 
the  Redan.  The  party  ran  out  of  ammunition,  and  there 
upon  the  officer  ("  Victoria  Cross  ")  sent  a  sergeant  and 
two  men  to  the  rear  with  orders  to  bring  a  supply  as  fast 
as  possible.  They  returned  with  a  polite  message  from  the 
officer  in  charge  of  the  magazine,  that  he  should  have  what 
he  required  if  a  proper  "  requisition  "  was  sent  in  writing. 
In  the  mean  time  they  were  driven  out  of  the  quarries,  and 
had  to  recapture  the  work  at  the  point  of  the  bayonet.  On 
another  occasion  this  officer,  after  the  fall  of  Sebastopol,  had 
found  one  of  the  Russian  magazines  on  fire,  and  had,  on  re 
turning  to  camp,  to  make  a  hurried  report  on  the  circum 
stance,  but  it  w^as  returned  to  him,  because  it  was  written 
on  "  quarter-margin  "  instead  of  "  half-margin."  On  reading 


72  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

"  Victoria  Cross's  "  letter,  which  was  an  amusing  one  on  a 
very  serious  subject,  as  the  brave  survivors  of  the  Redan 
and  the  quarries  knew  to  their  cost,  I  sent  the  following 
letter  to  the  Pall  Mall  Gazette: 

"  QUARTER-MARGIN  v.  HALF-MARGIN  FOOLSCAP." 

"  SIR  :  Which  sized  foolscap  Lord  Wellington  wrote 
upon  I  cannot  at  this  distant  day  discover  ;  but  I  •  am  re 
minded,  on  reading  '  Victoria  Cross's '  letter,  in  your  im 
pression  of  the  20th,  of  an  anecdote  I  heard  from  the  lips  of 
the  gallant  Peninsular  general,  the  late  Honorable  Sir  Wil 
liam  Stewart,  G.  C.  B.  An  Irish  soldier  in  the  General's 
division  had  been  detected  robbing  a  poor  Spanish  peasant. 
Lord  Wellington,  in  consequence  of  some  previous  cases  of 
a  similar  kind,  had  issued  a  notice  to  the  troops  that  the 
first  man  discovered  robbing  or  pilfering  would  be  hanged. 
General  Stewart  sent  a  written  report  of  the  matter  to  head 
quarters  by  an  aide-de-camp,  a  young  officer,  who  returned 
with  a  verbal  reply  from  his  lordship  ordering  the  delin 
quent's  instant  execution.  '  Do  you  know,'  said  the  General, 
addressing  his  youthful  aide-de-camp,  'that  if  you  should 
have  made  a  mistake  in  delivering  this  verbal  order,  and  I 
hang  this  man,  I  may  be  hanged  mjTself  when  I  return  to 
England  ?  Go  back  and  bring  me  written  instructions.' 
Off  rode  the  aide-de-camp  to  Lord  Wellington,  and  told 
his  lordship  that  General  Stewart  was  afraid,  if  he  hanged 
the  prisoner  without -a  written  order,  he  might  himself  be 
hanged  when  he  got  back  to  England.  '  Quite  right,'  said 
his  lordship,  who  issued  the  written  authority ;  and  the  ex 
ecution  followed — no  doubt  without  General  Stewart  scru 
tinizing  whether  the  Commander-in-chief  s  instructions  were 
written  on  *  quarter-margin '  or  '  half-margin.' 

"  I  am,  etc., 

u  A  SUBSCRIBER." 

October  22,  1868. 


GENERAL  SIR  WILLIAM  STEWART.  73 

38.    General  the  Honorable  Sir  William  Stewart,  G.  G.  12. 

When  I  was  a  boy,  Sir  William  was  a  frequent  visitor 
at  my  father's,  and  at  one  period  for  several  months  while 
a  villa  residence  (Drumtarlie  Lodge)  on  our  property  was 
being  prepared  for  him.  Subsequently,  he  purchased  the 
estate  of  Cumloden,  and  built  a  residence,  from  the  win 
dows  of  which  he  could  see  the  ruins  of  the  old  castle  of 
Garlics,  in  which  his  ancestors,  the  Lords  of  Galloway,  had 
resided.  I  believe  no  general  officer  whose  active  military 
career  closed  in  1814  had  been  more  severely  or  frequently 
wounded.  If  my  memory  serves  me,  he  had  from  the 
period  of  his  entering  the  service  received  thirteen  wounds. 
From  the  one  at  Ferrol  he  suffered  to  the  day  of  his  death 
in  1827.  A  musket-shot  struck  him  on  the  breast,  and 
sent  part  of  the  glass  of  a  wine  flask  into  his  chest,  and  at 
times  he  was  subject  to  intense  agony  from  the  glass 
working  out  of  the  wound.  I  received  very  great  kindness 
from  him,  and  I  used  to  listen  to  his  recitals  of  different 
incidents  of  the  great  war  with  fervent  delight.  He  liked 
me  to  sit  with  him  at  Drumtarlie  Lodge  in  the  forenoon, 
but,  fearing  I  might  be  guilty  of  intrusion,  I  went  on  with 
my  shooting  at  some  little  distance  in  front  of  his  resi 
dence,  when  I  was  pretty  sure  of  being  sent  for  to  lunch. 

Among  the  members  of  his  household  were  Brice,  his 
old  valet  during  the  war,  and  Mrs.  Brice,  his  wife,  a  Penin 
sular  heroine.  The  general  used  to  tell  many  anecdotes  of 
them,  and  this  he  did  with  much  quiet  humor.  One  story 
especially  I  recollect.  General  Stewart  had  been  wounded 
in  the  early  part  of  the  action,  and  was  brought  to  his 
tent  to  have  his  wound  dressed,  which  being  done,  he  or 
dered  his  charger,  so  that  he  might  again  go  to  the  front. 
Amazed  to  hear  this  order  given,  Brice  ran  to  his  wife  to 
tell  her,  and  she  instantly  appeared  before  the  general,  ex- 
4 


74  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

postulating  most  loudly  against  his  doing  so  just  as  she 
had  dressed  and  bandaged  up  his  wound.  Her  exp<»tuln- 
tion  was  of  no  avail ;  the  general  mounted  and  went  again 
into  action,  but  within  half  an  hour  he  was  carried  bad; 
severely  wounded.  Mrs.  Brice  received  her  wounded  master 
almost  in  a  passion.  "  Better,  sir,  you  had  followed  ou/ 
advice;"  adding  sotto  voce  as  she  went  to  prepare  fie-li 
dressings,  "  it  almost  serves  him  right,  after  what  we  told 
him."  One  of  the  general's  aides-de-camp  was  his  nephew, 
Lord  Charles  Churchill,  and  the  following  anecdote  the 
general  brought  out  against  him  while  Lord  Charles  was  on 
a  visit  to  his  mother's  family  in  our  county.  His  father, 
the  Duke  of  Marlborough,  had  sent  his  son,  as  a  birthday 
present,  out  to  the  peninsula,  a  splendid  charger,  of  which 
the  youthful  aide-de-camp  was  immensely  proud. 

The  two  armies  were  lying  opposite  to  each  other,  and 
there  had  been  no  active  fighting  for  some  weeks.  Lord 
Charles,  for  want  of  something  to  do,  apportioned  a  part  of 
each  day  to  showing  off  his  charger,  and  frequently  much 
closer  to  the  enemy's  lines  than  either  prudence  or  safety  war 
ranted.  The  general  had  cautioned  his  nephew  frequently  : 
"  I  tell  you,  Charles,  you  will  do  this  once  too  often ;  what 
folly  to  expose  yourself  in  this  way  ! "  Next  day  the  good 
advice  was  forgotten  and  the  aide-de-camp  as  usual  was 
riding  at  full  gallop  in  front  of  the  French  lines,  and  closer 
to  them  than  ever.  At  this  moment  off  went  a  shot  from 
the  French,  and  over  went  the  Blenheim  charger,  leaving 
his  owner,  who  was  unhurt,  to  walk  back  into  camp  amid 
the  jeers  and  laughter  of  his  brethren-in-arms,  and  to  re 
ceive  from  his  uncle  a  reprimand :  "  It  almost  serves  you 
right,  after  what  I  told  you,  Charles." 

General  Stewart's  numerous  anecdotes  of  Lord  Nelson 
were  deeply  interesting  and  instructive,  and  I  have  ever 
regretted,  when  passing  my  forenoons  with  him  at  Drum- 
tarlie,  Hint  I  hail  not  made  more  notes  of  them. 


GENERAL  SIR  WILLIAM  STEWART.  75 

I  believe  no  two  men  were  the  more  intimate  and  cher 
ished  friends  of  Horatio  Nelson  than  George,  ninth  Earl  of 
Galloway,  who  died  an  Admiral  of  the  Blue,  and  his  brother, 
Sir  William  Stewart. 

There  was  no  topic  in  General  Stewart's  eventful  career 
on  land  and  sea  on  which  he  delighted  to  dwell  so  much  as 
on  his  early  associations  with  the  hero  of  Trafalgar.  In 
those  days,  from  having  so  many  ships-of-war  afloat,  our 
marine  force  was  insufficient  to  supply  the  demands  upon 
this  arm  of  the  service,  so  that  several  regiments  of  the  line 
were  scattered  through  our  fleets  and  squadrons  to  make 
up  for  the  deficiency.  General  (then  Lieutenant-Colonel) 
Stewart  was  directed  to  embark  the  49th  regiment,  and  a 
portion  of  the  95th  (subsequently  the  Rifle  Brigade)  for 
service  in  the  fleet,  ordered  to  Copenhagen  ;  "  and  my  good 
fortune  (said  Sir  William)  was  to  be  appointed  to  Lord 
Nelson's  ship  (the  Elephant,  Captain  Foley),  by  whom  I 
was  treated  as  a  brother."  He  was  with  the  illustrious 
hero  at  the  battle  of  Copenhagen ;  and  when  this  event 
came  up  in  conversation  the  general  always  spoke  of  the 
additional  laurels  which  Lord  Nelson  that  day  gained  as  a 
negotiator.  He  described  the  instance  of  his  coolness  in 
sending  off  the  well-known  reply  to  the  Danish  authorities 
at  the  moment  when  his  own  position  in  regard  to  ammu 
nition  was  so  critical.  "  No  ;  let  my  letter  be  sealed,  other 
wise  they  will  think  we  are  in  a  hurry."  The  night  pre 
vious  to  the  bombardment,  Colonel  Stewart,  to  whom  Lord 
Nelson  had  given  a  share  of  his  own  cabin,  mentioned  to 
me  that  he  had  never  seen  the  Admiral  in  higher  spirits. 
He  that  evening  entertained  at  dinner  several  of  his  own, 
as  well  as  of  Colonel  Stewart's  officers.  On  such  occasions 
the  famous  portfolio  was  in  requisition  and  on  the  table, 
containing  much  that  was  prized  as  works  of  art ;  but  the 
chief  attractions  of  the  collection  were  the  *'  Guardian 
Angels,"  as  Nelson  termed  them,  being  different  likenesses 


70  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

of  the  celebrated  Lady  Hamilton.  Next  day,  as  we  know, 
Vice- Admiral  Lord  Nelson  "  put  bis  blind  eye  "  to  Admiral 
Sir  Hyde  Parker's  signal  to  retire,  and  on  his  own  account 
commenced  the  bombardment.  Colonel  Stewart  was  at  his 
side  on  the  poop  or  quarter  deck,  when  he  said  hurriedly  to 
one  of  the  men,  "  Send  my  steward  to  me."  The  order  was 
obeyed  at  once.  "  Steward,  see  that  the  c  Guardian  Angels ' 
are  put  away  safe  below,  and  out  of  fire." 

I  recollect  a  deeply-interesting  passage  in  Sir  "William 
Stewart's  home-life,  which  gave  us,  as  young  people,  much 
delight,  and  which  lasted  a  whole  week.  The  general  was 
paying1  my  father  a  lengthened  visit,  and  one  morning  at 
breakfast  the  latter  saw  by  the  county  newspaper  that  the 
92d  Highlanders  were  on  their  march  through  Galloway,  to 
embark  at  Port  Patrick  for  Ireland,  and  that  the  first  de 
tachment  would  arrive  in  our  town  (Newton  Stewart)  the 
following  day.  This  famous  regiment  had  formed  part  of 
Sir  William  Stewart's  division  in  the  Peninsula.  The  tears 
came  down  the  cheeks  of  the  old  warrior  when  he  heard 
this,  for  it  naturally  brought  back  many  incidents  and  remi 
niscences  of  that  great  war  in  which  those  kilted  soldiers 
had  born  so  conspicuous  a  part.  "  I  tell  you,  Boyd,  I  shall 
give  the  men  a  dinner  each  day  as  the  regiment  passes 
through."  "  And  I,"  said  my  father,  "  shall  give  the  officers 
a  dinner  each  da}T  to  meet  their  old  chief."  "  Agreed,"  said 
the  general;  and,  breakfast  over,  he  mounted  his  horse, 
Old  Tom,  which  my  father  had  presented  him  with,  to  ride 
into  town  and  order  a  course  of  dinners  for  the  Highlanders, 
while  my  mother  had  at  once  to  commence  her  preparations 
for  her  military  dinners  to  the  officers.  One  of  the  chief 
difficulties  at  that  time  was  to  secure  fish ;  for,  although 
salmon  was  in  abundance  in  our  river,  and  in  the  estuaries 
of  our  coast,  the  best  of  it  went  off  to  London  by  mail- 
coach. 

At  least  one-half  of  the  men  still  on  the  strength  of  the 


GENERAL  SIR  WILLIAM  STEWART.  77 

regiment  had  been  in  the  Peninsula,  and  subsequently  at 
Waterloo,  but  they  wore  the  medal  for  the  latter  only. 
This  ate  into  the  vitals  of  the  Peninsular  army,  that  portion 
of  it  especially  who  had  not  shared  in  the  glories  of  Quatre 
Bras  and  Waterloo.  I  have  often  heard  General  Stewart 
express  himself  strongly  against  this  cruel  injustice,  that  the 
heroic  men  who  composed  the  victorious  army  at  Salamanca, 
Vittoria,  Albuera,  and  mounted  the  walls  of  St.  Sebastian, 
Badajos,  and  Cuidad  Rodrigo,  were  not  considered  entitled 
to  have  their  breasts  decorated  with  a  medal !  How  that 
concession  was  so  long  withheld,  or  why  the  illustrious 
Duke  who  led  those  men  in  their  triumphant  career  in 
Spain  and  Portugal  opposed  it,  is  an  enigma  I  have  never 
had  explained.  But  the  tomb  closed  on  General  Stewart, 
as  it  had  done  on  a  very  large  proportion  of  the  survivors 
of  that  brave  army,  ere  the  late  Duke  of  Richmond,  who, 
as  Earl  of  March,  had  shared  in  the  glories  of  the  Peninsula 
and  Waterloo,  persistently  agitated  the  question,  until  this 
act  of  justice,  so  long  refused  in  one  all-powerful  quarter, 
was  at  last  reluctantly  conceded. 

I  had  often  been  told  that  no  commanding  officer  during 
the  campaigns  of  the  Peninsula  was  held  in  more  affection 
and  respect  by  his  men  than  Sir  William  Stewart.  We  had 
constantly  heard  this,  and  the  fact  was  now  proved  to  his 
countrymen  in  the  march  through  Galloway  of  that  Island 
corps  which  then  bore  on  its  colors  Egmont-op-zec,  Man- 
dora,  Corunna,  Fuentes  d'Onor,  Almarez,  Orthes,  and 
Waterloo. 

Many  of  the  officers  had  the  Waterloo  medal,  and  nearly 
all  who  wore  it  had  also  been  through  the  Peninsula.  Each 
day,  after  dinner,  while  the  regiment  was  en  route,  there 
was  of  course  a  change  of  military  guests.  One  day  Gen 
eral  Stewart  prefaced  a  toast — the  health  of  one  of  the 
officers  present — with  some  very  animated  remarks.  Ad 
dressing  my  father  he  said,  "  No  one  felt  more  satisfaction 


78  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

than  you  did  when  I  received  the  thanks  of  Parliament  at 
the  end  of  the  war ;  and  how  was  it  that  I  secured  this  ? 
Why,  owing  to  the  support  I  had  from  such  men  as  my 
ga  1  hint  friend  opposite.  He  it  was  whom  I  placed  as  a  young 
officer  in  charge  of  one  hundred  and  twenty-five  Highland 
soldiers  on  that  now  historic  rock  in  the  pass  of  the  Pyre 
nees,  desiring  him  to  hold  his  position  coute  que  cotite  and 
keep  back  the  enemy  who  would  approach  him  through  the 
valley  or  defile.  The  result  of  that  night's  brave  defence 
now  stands  recorded  in  our  military  details  of  the  Peninsular 
War.  His  efforts  were  crowned  with  success;  but  only 
twenty-five  men  of  the  one  hundred  and  twenty-five  de 
scended  from  the  rock,  and  the  officer  in  command  is  now 
your  guest."  The  reply  of  poor  Major  Campbell  (who  had 
lost  an  arm)  was  that  of  a  modest  and  devoted  soldier,  and, 
as  far  as  I  can  at  this  distant  day  recall  its  purport,  that  he 
would  rather  again  ascend  the  rock  in  the  mountain-pass  of 
the  Pyrenees  with  another  detachment  of  the  92d  High 
landers  than  be  called  upon  to  make  a  speech  in  the  pres 
ence  of  that  party  and  of  that  distinguished  general  who 
had  proposed  his  health,  and  who  had  so  often  led  him  and 
his  men  to  victory. 

At  the  termination  of  the  war  Sir  William  Stewart  was 
offered  a  British  peerage  along  with  his  brave  brothers-in 
arms,  Lords  Lynedoch,  Hill,  Hopetoun,  and  the  Earl  of 
Dalhousie ;  but  from  prudential  motives  at  that  period  he 
declined  the  proffered  honor,  although,  could  he  have  an 
ticipated  that  his  grandson  *  would  so  soon  inherit,  by  the 
death  of  two  heirs  of  entail,  a  magnificent  Scotch  estate, 
with  a  palatial  mansion,  in  the  land  of  his  sires,  irrespective 
of  a  large  property  in  Ireland,  he  most  probably  would 
have  accepted  a  coronet. 

*  Now  Mr.  Horatio  G.  Murray  Stewart,  of  Broughton,  Wigton. 


A  SCOTCH  MARRIAGE.  79 


39.  A  Scotch  Marriage. 

My  mother  was  always  much  opposed  to  my  father,  as 
a  magistrate,  interfering  in  the  connubial  affairs  of  other 
parties,  matters  which  she  considered  should  exclusively 
belong  to  the  Kirk ;  and  unless  it  was  very  necessary  he 
seldom  or  never  did  so.  The  request  to  him  was  usually 
made  under  the  seal  of  confidence  by  the  female  herself, 
and  very  frequently  by  her  mother.  A  case  of  urgency 
having  reached  him  through  a  private  channel,  he  sent  for 
the  delinquent,  a  farm-servant,  who  was  in  no  way  anxious 
to  be  bound  by  a  matrimonial  link,  and  it  was  only  by 
severe  pressure  being  brought  to  bear  that  he  at  last  con 
sented  to  come  next  morning  to  my  father's  private  room 
to  meet  a  family  group,  and  to  make  an  honest  woman  of  a 
girl  whom  he  had  wronged.  I  was  a  boy  at  the  time,  and 
witnessed  the  ceremony,  which  I  considered  very  simple. 
After  a  brief  exordium  from  the  magistrate,  the  swain  de 
clared  his  name,  and  acknowledged  the  female — pronoun 
cing  her  name — as  his  wife ;  she  then,  following  suit,  pro 
nouncing  his  name  as  her  husband.  My  father  had  now, 
I  may  say,  got  the  parties  into  the  vestry-room,  as  he  had 
merely  to  write  out  the  "  lines,"  as  they  were  termed,  on 
two  slips  of  paper,  being  a  declaration  by  both,  which  he 
signed,  his  signature  being  attested  by  two  male  witnesses, 
while  a  copy  of  the  document,  or  rather  of  the  "lines,"  was 
handed  to  each.  This  constituted,  as  my  Scotch  friends 
know,  a  marriage  as  valid  as  if  performed  with  full  choral 
service  at  Westminster  Abbey  by  his  Grace  the  Archbishop 
of  Canterbury.  My  father  always  gave  the  happy  pair  and 
their  friends  a  marriage  breakfast  in  the  servants'  hall.  On 
this  occasion  they  were  all  seated  prepared  to  commence 
their  dejeuner,  when  the  bridegroom  rose,  as  if  he  had  for 
gotten  something,  and  said  he  would  return  in  two  minutes ; 


80  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

but  the  two  minutes  having  reached  ten,  the  young  bride 
was  heard  to  exclaim  again  and  again,  "  Whatever  has  be 
come  o'  Willie  ?  "  The  others  proceeded  to  discuss  a  sub 
stantial  Scotch  breakfast,  while  the  poor  girl  sat  crying. 
A  full  hour  was  given  Mr.  Willie  to  return  to  his  discon 
solate  and  interesting  young  spouse.  When  all  hope  of 
his  entering  an  appearance  was  given  up,  the  poor  creature 
returned  in  tears,  with  her  father  and  mother,  to  their  cot 
tage.  It  turned  out  that  the  cruel  and  worthless  Willie 
betook  himself  to  the  woods,  where  he  secreted  himself 
until  nightfall,  when  he  crossed  to  Liverpool  in  a  coasting 
vessel,  thence  in  an  emigrant-ship  to  New  York.  The 
sequel  of  the  story  must  be  told — that  before  the  vessel  had 
reached  its  destination  the  family  was  increased  by  the  ap 
pearance  of  a  "  little  "  Willie.  My  father  was  sadly  mor 
tified  he  had  not  received  a  hint  of  Willie's  intentions,  as 
he  would  have  promptly  issued  a  ne  exeat  regno,  for  Scotch 
magistrates  in  those  days  were  almost  omnipotent.  His 
satisfaction  in  having  brought  Willie  just  in  the  nick  of 
time  in  vinculis  was  a  good  deal  diminished  by  finding  he 
had  slipped  through  his  fingers  in  the  manner  I  have  ex 
plained.  I  well  remember  the  benedictions  my  father 
received  for  having  made  puir  Mary  an  honest  woman  (a 
Scotch  expression  for  a  marriage  under  such  circumstances), 
her  mother  exclaiming,  "  Wasn't  it  raal  fjude  o'  the  laird 
to  mak  Willie  marry  ma  dodder  !  " 

40.  The  Late  Judge  Talfourd. 

Doctor  Temple,  the  Bishop  of  Exeter,  in  his  farewell 
speech  at  Rugby  (November  30, 1869),  stated  that  "  among 
all  the  deaths  of  good  men  that  he  had  ever  read  of — though 
there  have  been,  no  doubt,  others  that  express  more  hero 
ism,  that  express,  in  some  way  or  other,  loftier  characters, 
that  express  what  may  deserve  at  other  times  more  admira- 


THE  LATE  JUDGE  TALFOURD.  81 

tion  —  the  one  that  had  always  touched  him  most  was 
that  of  Judge  Talfourd  on  the  Bench,  when  he  expired 
with  his  last  words  expressing  a  wish  that  all  classes 
should  have  a  closer  intercourse  with  one  another,  and 
that  there  should  be  fewer  of  those  barriers  which  keep 
men  apart." 

Lofty,  noble,  and  generous  sentiments  so  constantly 
flowed  from  the  lips  of  that  good  man  and  upright  judge, 
that  I  was  quite  prepared  to  find  in  one  in  whose  breast 
similar  feelings  hold  sway  the  panegyric  pronounced  on  the 
lamented  and  accomplished  Talfourd,  clothed  in  language 
so  chaste,  so  felicitous,  and  so  appropriate. 

Doctor  Temple's  allusion  to  the  deceased  judge  calls  to 
my  mind  a  rather  singular  and  striking  incident  in  connec 
tion  with  his  assuming  the  ermine.  One  Saturday  he  and 
Lady  Talfourd,  or,  more  correctly  speaking  on  that  occasion, 
Sergeant  and  Mrs.  Talfourd,  had  come  to  dine  with  us  at 
our  country  residence  in  Kent,  intending  to  remain  until  the 
Monday.  On  the  Sunday  afternoon  we  started  together  on 
a  walk.  The  f?rst  "  lion  "  I  had  to  show  him  was  all  that 
remained  of  the  garden  walls  of  the  ancient  Abbey  that  for 
merly  stood  close  to  the  Abbey  Wood  railway  station.  I 
had  in  my  pocket  a  sketch  of  the  portion  of  the  Abbey  that 
was  standing  a  few  years  previously.  "  But  what  think 
you,  sergeant,"  said  I,  "  of  the  trustees  of  a  large  educa 
tional  foundation,  dating  from  the  days  of  Edward  VI.,  the 
owners  of  the  property,  pulling  the  walls  down  to  erect  this 
farm-house  from  the  debris  ?  "  "  Do  you  mean  to  say  so  ? 
I  thought  there  were  no  such  Goths  and  Vandals  in  Eng 
land  ;  and,"  continued  the  learned  gentleman,  "  the  garden 
walls  would  no  doubt  have  fallen  likewise,  had  not  the  pro 
tection  of  the  cabbages  and  onions  been  looked  upon  in  a 
pound,  shillings,  and  pence  point  of  view."  We  proceeded 
on  our  walk,  and  among  other  questions  1  put  to  my  learned 
friend  was,  whether  he  was  fond  of  the  House  of  Commons. 


82  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

He  said  emphatically,  "  I  hate  it !  "  I  then  told  him  I  had 
heard  his  name  discussed  a  few  evenings  before  at  the  club, 
and  that  there  was  not  a  dissenting  voice  as  to  his  having  the 
first  seat  on  the  Bench,  on  a  vacancy  occurring,  as  the  Lib 
eral  party  were  then  in  power.  He  stopped  and  said,  "  My 
dear  friend,  I  have  been  overlooked  by  my  own  party  two 
or  three  times,  and  I  dare  say  shall  be  overlooked  again." 
He  conveyed  to  my  mind  the  impression  that  he  never  ex 
pected  to  be  made  a  judge.  I  changed  the  conversation  as 
soon  as  I  could,  perceiving  that  I  had  unfortunately  touched 
on  a  tender  chord.  Our  friends  left  us  next  day,  promising 
to  repeat  their  visit  on  the  following  Saturday  week.  On 
Tuesday  the  newspapers  announced  that  one  of  her  Ma 
jesty's  judges  (Sir  T.  J.  Coltman)  had  been  seized  with 
cholera,  which  carried  him  off  on  the  Friday.  Various  sur 
mises  appeared  in  the  public  prints  as  to  his  probable  suc 
cessor,  but  on  the  following  Tuesday  it  was  announced  that 
Sergeant  Talfourd  had  been  chosen  to  fill  the  vacancy.  On 
the  Saturday  afternoon,  in  accordance  with  their  engage 
ment,  the  newly-appointed  judge  and  Lady-Talfourd  arrived 
at  our  house  early,  so  as  to  have  a  stroll  before  dinner. 
We  met  them  as  they  drove  up,  and  when  he  had  shaken 
hands  with  my  wife,  he  seized  me  by  both  hands,  and  be 
fore  uttering  a  word,  as  the  tears  rolled  down  his  face,  ad 
dressed  me,  "  Oh,  my  dear  friend,  how  inscrutable  are  the 
ways  of  Providence ;  do  you  recollect  our  conversation  last 
Sunday  week  ?  "  "I  do,  indeed."  "  I  assure  you,"  he  add 
ed,  "  the  circumstance  being  so  striking,  the  first  observa 
tion  I  made  on  hearing  of  my  appointment  was  in  reference 
to  what  had  passed  between  us  on  that  occasion."  I  need 
scarcely  add  that  after  dinner,  and  before  the  ladies  had  left 
us,  we  drank  to  the  health  of  our  youngest  judge  in  a 
bumper  of  our  oldest  port. 


THE  WORLD  STILL  DECEIVED  WITH  ORNAMENT."      83 


41.  "  The  World  is  still  deceived  with  Ornament" 

This  is  quite  as  true  now  as  when  Shakespeare  wrote 
his  "  Merchant  of  Venice,"  and  I  shall  here  give  a  practical 
instance  of  it. 

Some  fifty-five  or  sixty  years  ago,  Tom  Reid,  as  he  was 
familiarly  known  in  the  city  of  London,  subsequently  Sir 
Thomas  Reid,  Bart.,  was  about  to  announce  himself  as  a 
candidate  for  a  seat  in  the  Direction  of  the  Honorable  East 
India  Company. 

To  those  unacquainted  with  the  preliminary  arrange 
ments  of  a  candidate  for  that  coveted  distinction — now  a 
thing  of  the  past — the  candidate  or  candidates  for  future 
election  had  to  sit  or  walk  about  with  their  hats  off  in  the 
court-room  of  the  proprietors  on  the  occasion  of  the  election 
of  a  director,  as  a  sign  of  their  candidature.  On  this  occa 
sion  Mr.  Reid  asked  my  father  as  an  intimate  friend,  "  Can't 
you  give  me  a  lift  among  some  of  your  Scotch  grandees  at 
my  first  appearance  as  a  candidate  next  week  at  the  India 
House  ?  "  My  father  promised  to  see  what  he  could  do  to 
serve  his  friend,  and  accordingly  called  upon  the  Duke  of 
Gordon  and  told  him  confidentially  that  the  simple  recog 
nition  of  a  few  coronets  in  Leadenhall  Street  w^ould  serve 
his  friend  and  countryman  very  much.  His  Grace  took  up 
the  matter  heartily,  and  promised  that  his  relation,  the  Earl 
of  Aboyne,  with  himself,  would  do  all  they  could  to  assist 
Mr.  Reid.  The  result  was  that  some  dozen  or  more  car 
riages,  with  coronets  outside  and  a  noble  lord  inside  each, 
drew  up  at  the  India  House,  under  the  portico  of  which  the 
Duke  of  Gordon  introduced  Mr.  Reid  for  the  first  time  to 
his  noble  friends. 

When  this  section  of  the  peerage  began  to  move  through 
the  court-room,  and  were  reported  to  be  all  the  personal 
friends  of  Mr.  Reid,  the  mercury  instantly  rose  in  his  favor; 


84  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

he  was  declared  to  be  No.  1  on  the  list  of  candidates,  and 
when  the  following  vacancy  occurred  he  gained  the  Direc 
torship. 

42.   The  Late,  Mr.  RotJiSchild. 

Upward  of  forty  years  ago  my  brother  said  to  me, 
"  Put  on  your  hat  and  come  with  me,  as  I  wish  to  introduce 
you  to  Mr.  Rothschild."  I  was  received  by  the  great 
European  capitalist  very  kindly  on  that  and  all  subsequent 
occasions.  I  well  remember  how  heartily  he  made  me 
laugh.  He  said,  "  I  like  your  brother,  and  I  dare  say  I  shall 
like  you  ;  and  I  do,  generally  speaking,  like  Scotchmen,  but 
not  all  of  them.  Do  you  know,"  he  said,  addressing  me, 
"  that  Scotchmen  and  ourselves  are  just  the  same  ?  But 
your  brother  is  a  tight  hand  at  a  bargain,  for  when  I  deal 
with  him  in  French  Rentes  I  always  lose  money  by  him  ; 
he  is  such  a  screw.  I  hope  to  be  more  fortunate  with  you." 

I  may  mention  an  instance  where  I  discovered  that  he 
did  appreciate  a  Scotchman.  My  brother  and  I  met  on 
'Change  a  friend,  who  asked  us  whether  we  had  written  for 
any  of  the  new  English  Loan  (then  contracted  for  by  Messrs. 
N.  M.  Rothschild  and  Co.).  "No,  I  have  not,"  said  my 
brother,  "  but  now  you  mention  it,  I  will."  "  Oh,  my  good 
sir,  you  are  a  day  after  the  fair — the  loan  is  all  appropriated, 
and  twice  the  amount  applied  for ;  and,  moreover,  it  will 
come  out  at  three  per  cent,  premium."  "  Never  mind,"  said 
my  brother,  "  I  shall  apply  for  some — '  Nothing  venture 
nothing  have.' "  Accordingly,  we  went  across  to  New 
Court,  where  my  brother  filled  up  the  usual  letter  of  appli 
cation.  "Is  Mr.  Rothschild  in  his  room?"  "He  is." 
"  Pray  take  in  our  names."  He  was  as  usual  glad  to  see 
us.  "Well,  my  friends,  what  can  I  do  for  you?" 
"  I  have  come,"  said  my  brother,  "  to  ask  you  for  a  small 
slice  of  your  large  loan."  "  Ah,  you  Scotchmen,  you 
know  what  is  good,  but  you  have  come  very  late ;  I  hope 


DISADVANTAGE   OF  BEING  A  SCOTCHMAN.  85 

you  don't  want  much."  "Only  £10,000."  "Well,  my 
good  friend,  you  shall  have  that  amount."  "  Thank  you, 
Mr.  Rothschild,"  said  my  brother ;  "  and  will  you  kindly 
put  your  initials  to  my  application,  in  case  it  may  be  over 
looked  in  the  hurry  of  appropriation  ?  "  He  had  a  hearty 
laugh  at  this  precautionary  measure  of  my  brother's,  add 
ing,  "  Well,  as  I  have  often  told  you,  Scotchmen  and  our 
selves  are  just  the  same  ;  you  shall  have  your  £10,000,  and 
my  initials  into  the  bargain." 

43.  At  Times  there  may  be  a  Disadvantage  in  being  a 
Scotchman. 

Provisions  being  very  high  in  price,  and  a  general  dis 
content  prevailing  among  the  laboring  classes,  a  meal  mob 
or  famine  disturbance  arose  in  our  little  town  in  Scotland. 
My  father,  finding  matters  to  be*  so  unsatisfactory,  availed 
himself  of  a  troop  of  the  5th  Dragoon  Guards,  passing 
through  the  county  from  Ireland  to  the  north  of  England, 
to  call  upon  the  commanding  officer,  to  whom  he  furnished 
the  requisite  magisterial  authority  for  the  Horse  Guards, 
and  detained  the  troop,  so  that  the  tranquillity  of  the  dis 
trict  might  be  preserved.  Great  excitement  existed  gener 
ally  throughout  the  South  of  Scotland.  The  men  compos 
ing  the  detachment  were  extremely  well  conducted,  and  no 
cause  of  oifence  had  been  given  the  inhabitants  by  the  sol 
diers  during  the  first  few  months,  when  one  morning  a 
trooper  was  detected  robbing  a  hen-roost,  or  committing 
some  act  of  petty  larceny. 

The  delinquent  was  brought  before  my  father,  who, 
finding  the  evidence  to  be  conclusive,  was  about  to  sen 
tence  him  to  imprisonment  in  the  county  jail.  One  of  the 
corporals  of  the  troop,  who  had  been  watching  the  case  in 
the  justice-room,  was  in  the  act  of  leaving  it,  when  my 
father  heard  him  muttering  to  himself  in  the  richest  brogue, 
"  Well,  and  sure  we  are  all  ashamed  of  him  in  the  troop ; 


86  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

but  I  am  truly  thankful  to  say  that  he  is  the  ouncly  Scotch 
man  in  it."  "  What  is  that  you  say,  corporal  ?  "  exclaimed 
the  magistrate — "  the  only  Scotchman  in  the  troop  ?  "  ! ! ! 
"On  my  soul  and  honor,  your  worship,  he  is  the  o?//"/y 
Scotchman  in  the  troop."  "  You  don't  say  so  seriously  ?  " 
said  my  father.  "  On  my  sacred  oath  it's  the  rale  truth, 
sor.  There's  Dennis  here,  who  will  tell  you  the  same,  your 
worship."  "  All  right,  yer  honor,"  said  Dennis — "  it's  sure 
and  sartain  he  is  the  ounely  countryman  of  yours,  sor,  we 
have  in  the  troop."  The  prisoner  did  not  attempt  to  deny 
this  part  of  the  impeachment;  in  fact,  he  hoped  it  would 
have  a  favorable  influence  with  the  magistrate ;  but  it  had 
a  contrary  effect,  for,  in  addressing  him,  my  father  declared 
that  his  intention  was  to  have  given  him  a  fortnight's  im 
prisonment,  but  now  that  he  knew  that  he  was  the  only 
Scotchman  in  the  troop,  he  would  sentence  him  to  a  month. 
The  corporal  was  delighted,  and  was  heard  to  exclaim  at 
the  top  of  his  voice  to  some  of  his  brother  troopers  who 
were  anxiously  waiting  outside  to  hear  the  result.  "  There's 
the  proper  sort  of  Justice  o'  the  Pace  for  you,  for  the 
moment  I  tould  his  honor  that  he  was  the  ounely  Scotch 
man  in  the  troop,  he  at  once  gave  him  a  month  instead  of  a 
fortnight." 

Whether  the  prisoner,  under  the  circumstances  ex 
plained  from  the  bench,  would  not  have  had  a  good  ground 
of  appeal  against  the  extra  fortnight,  not  being  a  lawyer,  I 
leave  others  to  decide. 

44.  Scotch  Funerals. 

I  never  enjoyed  an  afternoon  more — and  it  was  a  very 
wet  one — than  one  which  I  spent  on  the  banks  of  the  far- 
famed  Lochinvar  some  twenty-five  years  ago.  We  were 
living  at  the  keeper's  house,  and  our'friend  the  Laird  of 
— field  came  to  dine  and  spend  the  day  with  us.  I  had  not 
seen  my  worthy  friend  since  I  Mas  a  hoy,  when  he  was  in 


SCOTCH  FUNERALS.  87 

the  habit  of  coming  over  as  a  guest  to  my  father's.  No 
man  was  so  extensively  acquainted  with  every  person  and 
every  thing  in  our  district  as  himself.  The  rain  poured, 
and  all  shooting  being  out  of  the  question,  I  had  with  him 
the  longest  and  most  agreeable  conversation  on  Galloway 
matters  I  ever  had,  either  before  or  since. 

Among  other  topics,  I  got  upon  the  subject  of  Scotch 
funerals,  and  asked  the  laird  if  the  manner  in  which  they 
were  now  conducted  had  been  altered  or  improved  since  I 
left  the  country.  "  Wed,  they  hae  impruived  and  they  hae 
not  impruived ;  for  they  still  gang  on  in  many  places 
maist  1  the  same  as  when  ye  wer  a  bit  o'  a  lad."  I  sought 
for  information  in  regard  to  the  "  services." 

To  those  not  initiated  in  the  arcana  of  a  Scotch  funeral 
I  should  explain  what  the  "  services  "  were  in  my  day.  The 
parties  invited  to  the  funeral  assembled  in  the  dining-room. 
The  servants  began  their  duties  by  handing  round  a  tray 
with  glasses  of  port,  accompanied  by  sponge-cake,  Scotch 
currant-bun,  short-bread,  and  biscuits ;  a  few  minutes 
elapsed,  when  the  tray  went  round  again  with  sherry ;  a 
moderate  interval  ensued,  when  glasses  of  brandy  circu 
lated — always  a  favorite,  and  generally  eliciting  such  re 
marks  as,  "  here's  something  that  will  hand  the  grip  •  "  * 
then  followed  a  round  of  whiskey,  and  the  last  two  "  ser 
vices  "  were  usually  rum  or  shrub ;  I  have  seen  both.  Hav 
ing  recounted  to  the  laird  my  early  impressions  of  Scotch 
funerals,  he  said  I  was  nearly  as  recht 3  as  possible,  and  then 
described  to  me  a  disgraceful  scene  he  had  witnessed  at  the 
funeral  of  my  grandfather,  at  which  a  clergyman  of  the 
Kirk  of  Scotland — "  Was  it  not  a  mercy  he  did  not  belong 
to  Galloway  ?  "  said  the  laird — "  fell  aff  his  horse  in  the 
avenue  quite  fou^  his  horse  rinning  awa;  and  the  minister, 
unable  to  move,  was  dragged  to  one  side  of  the  road, 

1  almost.        2  tickle  the  throat  in  passing  down.       3  right. 


88  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

speechless  and  insensible,  while  the  funeral  procession  was 
passing." 

"  Wed"  continued  the  laird,  "  as  we  are  on  this  subject, 
I  must  just  tell  you  that  I  wras  sairly  put  to  it  mysel,  and 
no  a  hundred  miles  from  whare  we  are  sitting.  Div  you 1 
recollect  Mr. ?  "  "  Yes,  I  do ;  he  who  had  so  excel 
lent  an  appetite  ?  "  "  The  vera  man :  what  a  gucle  memory 
you  must  hae  to  mind 2  sae  lang  back !  I  was  lang  con 
nected  w?  him,  and  took  a'  the  trouble  about  the  funeral. 
We  gied  a  gude  wheen  3  o'  his  friens  a  dinner  after  we 
returned  frae  the  Kirk-yard,  and  I  was  deevilishly  put  oot 
o'  temper  after  it.  I  had  the  key  o'  the  cellar,  and  there 
was  naething  wanting  in  the  way  o'  drink,  and  every  thing 
was  ganging  4  on  discreetly  when  a  whalp  o'  a  chap,  with- 
outyn  ance  6  consulting  me,  began,  that  he  did,  and  finished 
a  very  gude  amusing  sang;  for  I  was  forfoughtened*  wi'  a' 
the  arrangements  o'  the  funeral  that  day,  and  vera  foolishly 
dicFna  stap  him  at  first,  as  it  would  hae  prevented  a'  the 
collicshangie  7  afterward.  But  the  sang  was  ower,  and 
there  was  nae  use  looking  back  ;  but  it  was  a  vera  improper 
proceeding  in  the  house  o'  mourning.  The  ddil  was  in  the 
maist  *  o'  them  that  afternoon,  for  they  actually  caa?d  on 
him  for  anither  sang.  Then  I  spok  out,  and  I  taidd  them 
distinctly  that  if  there  was  anither  verse  o'  a  sang  in  that 
room  not  anither  bottle  o'  drink  should  they  hae.  That  was 
the  only  threat  that  would  stap  it,  for  they  liked  the  drink 
ower  iceel,  and  we  had  nae  mair  singing." 

Following  up  the  same  subject,  I  remember  the  late  Mr. 
John  MacMillan,  formerly  of  Charleston,  South  Carolina, 
and  afterward  of  Liverpool,  describing  to  a  large  party  in 
London  a  scene  which  he  witnessed  at  a  funeral  in  Kirk 
cudbrightshire,  either  in  the  Glenkens  district  or  the  Min- 
nigaff.  He  had  left  Galloway  as  a  youth,  never  having  been 

1  do  you.  2  remember.  3  a  good  many.  4  going. 

6  without  once.  '  1. 1 tinned.         '  quarn-llinir.  8  most. 


SCOTCH  FUNERALS.  80 

at  a  Scotch  country  funeral ;  but  on  the  first  visit  to  his 
family  he  was  asked  to  attend  the  funeral  of  a  gentleman 
farmer,  a  friend  of  his  father's. 

The  party  invited  had  assembled  in  the  house  of  mourn 
ing,  a  great  number  arriving  on  horseback.  Then  com 
menced  the  "  services,"  to  which  Mr.  MacMillan,  although  a 
Scotchman,  was  a  stranger.  When  the  hearse  came  to  the 
door  to  receive  the  coffin,  a  scene  of  outrageous  impropriety 
presented  itself,  such  as  he  would  never  be  able  to  forget, 
for  the  spectacle  came  before  him  of  the  wife  and  daughters 
of  the  deceased,  overwhelmed  in  grief,  watching  from  be 
hind  their  bedroom  curtains  the  departure  of  the  remains 
of  him  whose  spirit  had  fled,  and  in  whom  their  dearest 
affections  centred. 

The  operation  of  mounting  the  horses  as  a  sequence  to 
the  "  services,"  was  a  most  difficult  one,  although  it  was 
not  yet  11  o'clock  A.  M.  A  considerable  proportion  of  the 
funeral  cortege  had  to  be  lifted  into  their  saddles,  arnid  the 
jeers  and  noisy  laughter  of  those  who  had  been  asked  that 
day  to  pay  respect  to  the  memory  of  the  deceased.  When 
the  procession  was  about  to  move,  one  of  the  riding  party 
exclaimed  in  a  loud  voice,  which  the  poor  ladies  heard, 
"  We  maun  tak  the  near  cut  across  the  moor,  and  we  shall 
bate  the  hearse  and  the  corpse  by  some  miles ;  I  ken  the 
roddie  weel."  This  was  unanimously  agreed  to,  and  Mr. 
MacMillan,  who  was  on  horseback,  was  invited  to  join  the 
equestrian  party,  which,  on  leaving  the  hearse  and  the  pro 
cession  of  carriages  and  gigs  (sometimes  very  numerous  at 
a  Scotch  funeral),  immediately  struck  across  the  moor, 
when  a  series  of  Meltonian  feats  commenced,  leaping  ditches, 
breaking  down  stone  walls,  alias  dikes,  and  jumping  in 
every  variety  of  style.  This  was  usually  followed  by  some 
heavy  falls,  accompanied  by  plenty  of  uproarious  laughter. 
Mr.  MacMillan  described  the  scenes  of  that  funeral  and  the 
funeral  ride  as  something  monstrously  indecent.  Several 


90  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

of  the  riders  never  reached  the  church-yard  at  all,  having 
indulged  in  the  "  services "  to  such  an  extent  that  after 
being  coicped  from  their  horses  they  had  to  be  consigned 
to  the  care  of  a  shepherd  or  some  other  farm-servant  who 
had  been  watching  the  proceedings  of  the  party,  until  they 
had  recovered  from  their  disgraceful  intoxication. 

In  returning  to  his  father's  house,  Mr.  MticMillan  told  us 
that  he  asked  himself,  in  pondering  over  the  proceedings  of 
that  day,  "  Am  I,  after  ten  years'  absence  in  America  and 
other  parts  of  the  world,  again  in  moral  and  intellectual 
Scotland?" 

45.   Charles  Dibdin  and  his  Son,  Thomas  Dibdin. 

One  of  my  earliest  recollections  in  boyhood  was  listen 
ing  to  my  father  repeating  verses — for  sing  he  could  not — 
from  the  sea-songs  of  Charles  Dibdin,  whom  he  knew  per 
sonally,  and  the  impression  this  left  on  my  then  juvenile 
mind  has  never  since  been  removed.  He  almost  looked 
upon  Charles  Dibdin  in  his  capacity  of  lyric  poet  as  im 
portant  to  Britannia  the  ruler  of  the  waves,  as  he  did  on 
William  Pitt  at  the  helm  steering  the  vessel  of  the  State. 
My  lather  had  lived  constantly  in  London  from  1785  to 
1807,  and  no  landsman  could  be  more  familiar  with  the 
drt.-i.ils  of  the  services  of  Rodney,  Howe,  Hotham,  Bridport, 
and  St.  Vincent.  He  was  personally  acquainted  with  Lord 
Nelson,  and  had  been  present  in  St.  Paul's  when  the  tomb 
closed  on  the  hero  of  Trafalgar. 

As  a  merchant  trading  with  America,  the  East  and 
West  Indies,  as  an  extensive  underwriter  and  shipowner, 
my  father  was  thrown  much  into  communication  with 
sailors,  from  the  admiral  down  to  "  Poor  Jack."  He  knew 
well  the  hardships  and  grievances  of  which  the  man-o'-war's 
man  complained.  He  felt  convinced  that  this  murmuring 
and  fretting  must  sooner  or  later  culminate  in  an  outbreak. 


DIBDIN  AND   HIS  SON.  91 

This  was  proved  by  the  alarming  mutiny  at  the  Nore, 
when  the  mutineers  gravely  threatened  to  deliver  the 
British  fleet  to  France,  and  were  within  twenty-four  hours 
of  carrying  the  menace  into  execution.  There  was  no 
rhodomontade  in  this  threat ;  the  Government  believed  it. 
The  public  did  the  same,  and  I  have  heard  my  relation,  an 
intelligent  British  merchant,  one  whom  Mr.  Pitt,  as  premier, 
frequently  sent  for  to  Downing  Street,  say,  that  the  darkest 
days  Great  Britain  ever  saw  were  those  during  the  mutiny 
at  the  Nore,  which  sent  our  Three  per  Cents  to  their  lowest 
point  of  depression,  namely  47f .  Some  moderate  and  rea 
sonable  concessions  were  made,  and  Jack  became  again  a 
loyal  subject  of  King  George  the  Third. 

Who  so  much  soothed  or  partially  reconciled  the  sailor 
to  his  fate  against  the  horrors  of  the  press-gang  as  Charles 
Dibdin,  whose  verse,  while  it  humanized,  incited  courage 
and  inspired  love  of  country  ?  What  so  comforted  and 
soothed  the  wife,  mother,  or  sister,  for  the  absence  of  their 
kidnapped  relative  as  listening  to  one  of  Charles  Dibdin's 
soul-stirring  songs  ? 

The  sailor  was  unquestionably  better  off  at  the  end  of 
the  eighteenth  and  the  beginning  of  the  nineteenth  century 
than  he  was  in  the  days  of  the  Spanish  Armada,  when  he 
was  half-starved,  as  clearly  shown  by  the  American  his 
torian  and  diplomatist,  Mr.  Motley,  and  other  writers. 
Still  in  Dibdin's  time  the  instances  are  too  many  of  the 
discipline  on  board  the  English  man-of-war  being  apt  to 
degenerate  into  tyranny.  How  could  any  thing  else  be 
looked  for,  when  youngsters  a  very  few  years  out  of  their 
swaddling-clothes  were,  through  parliamentary  influence, 
placed  in  command  of  ships  ?  At  this  moment  I  have  a 
distinct  recollection  of  two  cases — related  to  me  by  a  dis 
tinguished  admiral — of  two  youngsters,  who  had  barely 
completed,  the  one  his  seventeenth  and  the  other  his 
eighteenth  year,  being  made  post-captains.  One  of  them 


92  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

was  the  son  of  the  admiral  in  command  of  the  East  India 
station  ;  and  when  the  death-vacancy  occurred  to  which 
this  boy  succeeded,  the  admiral  sent  for  his  sailing-master 
(the  late  Sir  William  Bain),  who  told  me  the  story,  and 
said,  "  Bain,  you  must  go  with  the  boy,  and  keep  him 
straight."  Bain  went  with  the  boy,  but  could  not  "  keep 
him  straight,"  and  within  six  months,  or  at  all  events  a 
very  short  period,  this  youthful  despot's  pranks  as  a  captain 
of  a  man-of-war  so  disgusted  his  crew  that  a  mutinous 
spirit  broke  out,  which  ended  in  some  of  the  poor  fellows 
being  hanged  at  the  yard-arm.  All  this — as  much  less 
might — led  to  that  painful  charge  against  poor  Jack,  which 
unfortunately  \vas  too  true,  that  British  seamen  who  had 
fought  at  the  Nile  and  Trafalgar  were  fighting  against  us 
on  board  of  American  frigates.  But  distressing  as  it  is  to 
think  that  there  ever  was  such  a  blot  to  be  pointed  out  in 
the  character  of  the  British  seaman — and  we  hope  the 
instances  wTere  not  numerous — still  no  man  in  his  individual 
capacity  did  half  so  much  to  popularize  the  British  navy, 
and  to  invite  and  encourage  loyalty  among  English  sea 
men,  as  Charles  Dibdin.  Under  such  circumstances  one 
might  have  expected  that  the  Government  of  the  period, 
when  the  necessities  of  such  a  man  arose,  would  have  carried 
out  in  no  niggard  spirit  what  would  have  met  with  the 
unanimous  support  of  the  nation  had  it  been  consulted — 
the  grant  of  a  liberal  pension.  The  Government  did  grant 
him  a  pension  of  £200  per  annum,  but  he  wras  deprived  of 
it  by  Lord  Grcnville,  though  it  was  afterward  restored  by 
another  Ministry. 

But  to  come  to  Charles  Dibdin's  son,  Thomas  Dibdin, 
whom  I  knew  personally.  My  elder  brother  accidentally 
discovered  him  some  thirty-five  years  ago  living  in  poverty 
in  an  obscure  part  of  London,  and  brought  him  to  our 
house,  where  he  became  a  frequent  visitor.  He  was  then 
about  seventy-five  years  of  age,  and  must  have  been  a  tall 


DIBDIN  AND   HIS  SON.  93 

man  when  young,  but  he  stooped  very  much.  He  was 
very  intelligent,  and  looked  a  man  of  talent.  There  was  a 
playfulness  about  the  mouth  and  an  expression  in  the  eye 
extremely  winning.  He  usually  visited  us  on  a  Saturday, 
which  was  an  important  day  with  him,  and  lunched.  My 
brother  told  me  he  would  endeavor  to  get  him  on  the 
Pension  List,  and  I  was  fully  persuaded  he  had  succeeded, 
for  shortly  after  my  brother  went  abroad  (1842)  Tom 
Dibdin  ceased  coming  so  often  on  the  Saturday.  I  ascribed 
the  suspension  of  his  visits  to  a  delicacy  of  feeling,  which 
he  seemed  to  me  to  possess  in  a  high  degree,  now  that  he 
had  become,  as  I  had  in  error  supposed,  a  pensioner  of  the 
Crown ;  but  no  doubt  death  had  ended  his  troubles  suddenly. 
The  following  is  a  copy  of  a  note  addressed  to  my 
brother  by  the  poor  old  gentleman  in  1839 : 

"  September  17,  1839. 

"  DEAR  SIR  : — Induced  by  your  frequent  kindnesses,  I 
venture  to  enclose  the  attempt  of  an  octogenarian  to  ex 
press  what  he  imagined  himself  inspired  with  on  seeing 
your  pretty  little  brig  the  '  Wanderer  '  come  in  yesterday, 
and  can  only  lament  my  verse  lacks  the  power  which,  half 
a  century  back,  gave  popularity  to  my  '  Snug  little  Island,' 
and,  since,  recorded  the  deaths  of  c  Abercrombie '  and 
'  Wolfe,'  form'd  an  effective  Covent  Garden  '  Cabinet,'  com- 
mission'd  an  '  English  Fleet,'  and  composed  '  Family  Quar 
rels,'  etc.  I  cou'd  then  boast  not  only  of  possessing  '  a 
Friend,'  but  '  a  Bottle  to  give  him  ; '  and  altho'  industrious, 
but  unfortunate,  dramatic  speculations  have  brought  my 
fifth  act  to  a  melancholy  close,  and  nearly  all  my  old  pa 
trons  have  gone  before  me,  I  trust  I  may  find  some  left  who 
may  aid  an  unpensioned  poet  to  terminate  his  lyric  career 
with  his  once-favored  finale  of  '  All's  Well.' 

"  I  am,  dear  sir,  most  truly  and  respectfully, 
"  Your  obliged  servant, 

"THOMAS  DIBDIN. 

"  B.  Boyd,  Esq.,  R.  Y.  S.  <  Wanderer. '  " 


94  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

THE  WANDERER; 

WRITTEN   BY 

T.  D  I  B  D  I  N, 

AND  RESPECTFULLY  INSCRIBED  TO 

B.  BOYD,  ESQ. 


"  Come,  lads,  here's  good  luck  to  the  purser, 

As  long  as  he  keeps  us  in  grog, 
And,  tho'  grumblers  say  times  can't  be  worser, 

We'll  keep  up  hilarity's  log. 
Tho'  a  rolling  stone,  cynics  may  tell  us, 

Is  famed  for  not  gathering  moss, 
Its  absence  to  wandering  fellows 

Like  us  can  be  scarce  deem'd  a  loss. 
While  thro'  each  change  of  scene  'tis  our  notion 

For  air,  health,  and  pleasure  to  roam, 
We'll  drink  or  in  port  or  in  ocean, 

The  Wanderer  always  at  home. 

ii. 

"  She  skims  o'er  the  surge  like  a  fairy, 

With  wonder  while  landlubbers  gaze, 
No  lady  so  lissome  and  airy, 

Looks  smarter  than  she  does  in  stays  ! 
So  ship-shape  she  graces  the  water, 

Of  each  tar  she's  the  love,  pride,  and  joy  ! 
And  love,  too,  has  boarded  her  quarter, 
For  she's  often  attached  to  a  buoy ! 

So  through  each,  etc. 


DIBDIN  AND   HIS  SON.  95 

ill. 

"  You  may  talk  of  the  '  Breeze  and  the  Battle,' 

For  neither  has  she  any  fears, 
Were  great  guns  to  blow,  or  shot  rattle, 
She'd  greet  'em  with  so  many  cheers. 
Had  the  lyrical  pride  of  our  navy, 

Old  Charles,  seen  her  scudding  along, 
His  muse  he'd  have  '  dipped  in  the  gravy ! ' 
And  made  her  immortal  in  song. 

So  through  each,  etc. 

IV. 

"  She's  placid  and  calm  in  fair  weather, 

Or  when  storms  seem  her  hull  to  o'erwhelm, 
She  rides  o'er  the  waves  like  a  feather, 

And  cheerfully  answers  the  helm  ! 
With  idleness  ever  untainted, 

A  huswife  from  stern  to  her  bows, 
With  Needles  she's  not  unacquainted, 

And  no  dairy  maid  knows  more  of  Cowes  ! 
So  through  each,  etc. 

v. 

"As  for  female  attractions — she's  got  'em, 
Her  cloth  and  her  seams  without  flaw, 
She's  taut  in  her  tops,  and  her  bottom, 
'  Surpassing  all  Neptune  e'er  saw. 
She's  fast  on  each  point  of  her  sailing, 

While  rivals  wou'd  pass  her  in  crowds, 
To  beat  'em- as  yet  never  failing, 

And  looks  quite  alive  in  her  shrouds. 

So  through  each,  etc." 
• 

In  the  manuscript  I  find  that  Dibdin  had  intended  to 
have  given  more  verses,  as  there  is  a  vi.  ;  but  nothing  fol- 


90  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

lows.  There  is  also  written  in  pencil  above  "  old  Charles," 
"  my  dear  father."  At  the  end  of  stanza  No.  n.  there  is 
the  following  mot  d  double  entente :  "  And  by  good  for 
tune  ever  Be  Buoyd." 

Fickle  fortune  seemed  to  have  decided  against  Thomas 
Dibdin  receiving  a  pension  from  the  Civil  List,  either  as  the 
son  of  Charles  Dibdin,  or  in  recognition  of  his  own  literary 
claims,  which  were  varied,  extensive,  and  distinguished,  but 
here  at  least  we  find  him  the  author  of  his  "  Snug  little 
Island,"  the  "  Deaths  of  Abercrombie  and  Wolfe,"  his  ef 
fective  Covent  Garden  "  Cabinet,"  or  having  commissioned 
an  "  English  Fleet,"  and  composed  "  Family  Quarrels." 
These  came  from  his  pen  when  he  had  a  "  Friend  and  a 
Bottle  to  give  him,"  besides  much  more,  entitling  him,  on 
his  own  merits  alone — without  reference  to  his  distinguished 
father — to  a  substantial  recognition  from  the  Crown,  and  the 
more  necessary  when  he  fell  into  poverty. 

Under  these  circumstances,  no  one  experienced  a  sincerer 
satisfaction  than  my  deceased  brother  that  an  accidental 
meeting  with  this  interesting  and  neglected  old  man  should 
have  enabled  him  to  assure  him  that  he  had  found  "a 
Friend  and  a  Bottle  to  give  him." 

No  one  could  be  more  grateful  for  what  was  done  for 
him  than  Thomas  Dibdin.  The  giver  and  the  receiver 
having  gone,  let  us  hope  "requiescant  in  pace" 

46.  Duelling  and  Dining. 

The  amusing  fracas  of  Lord  Robertson  (at  that  time  an 
eminent  member  of  the  Scotch  Bar,  and  subsequently  Dean 
of  Faculty  Mr.  Patrick  Robertson)  with  the  officers  of  His 
late  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards,  then  sta 
tioned  in  Edinburgh,  created  a  vast  amount  of  amusement 
among  his  friends  in  the  Scottish  capital  and  in  London. 

I  only  hope  that  so  good  a  story — one  which  Theodore 


DUELLING  AND  DINING.  97 

Hook  pronounced  to  be  among  the  best  and  most  humor 
ous  he  had  ever  heard — may  not  suffer  in  my  narration. 

A  lady  of  ton  in  the  modern  Athens  had  issued  her  cards 
for  a  large  evening  party,  and  among  the  invited  were  the 
officers  of  the  Dragoon  Guards.  I  believe  the  colonel  had 
allowed  his  band  to  attend  on  that  occasion.  As  supper  was 
about  to  conclude,  a  few  toasts  followed  ;  and  the  one  con 
sidered  next  in  importance  to  that  of  the  lady  of  the  man 
sion  was  a  bumper  dedicated  to  the  colonel  and  officers  of 
His  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards.  One  of 
Shakespeare's  characters  in  "  Twelfth  Night  "  says,  "  I  have 
heard  of  some  kind  of  men  that  put  quarrels  purposely  on 
others  to  test  their  valor."  Mr.  Robertson  had  too  much 
of  the  milk  of  human  kindness  to  be  suspected  of  any 
thing  bordering  on  this,  and  the  more  unlikely  among  a 
class  "  jealous  of  honor,"  if  not  "  sudden  and  quick  in  quar 
rel."  But  the  gallant  colonel  of  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment 
of  Dragoon  Guards  had  himself  alone  to  blame  by  opening 
the  flood-gate  to  receive  Mr.  Robertson's  uncontrollable 
rush  of  humor,  for  in  a  peculiarly  mincing,  lisping,  affected 
tone  he  thanked  the  company  for  the  honor  conferred  on 
himself  and  the  officers  of  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of 
Dragoon  Guards,  and  begged  to  assure  the  ladies  and 
gentlemen  present  that  the  kindness  which  he  and  the 
officers  of  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards 
had  received  ever  since  the  arrival  of  the  regiment  in  Edin 
burgh  had  sensibly  affected  them :  that  in  whatever  portion 
of  the  globe  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards 
might  be  stationed,  the  recollection  of  the  hospitality  they 
had  met  with  in  the  metropolis  of  Scotland  could  never  be 
effaced ;  and  ever  and  anon,  in  a  ten  minutes'  speech,  out 
came  "on  the  part  of  himself  and  the  officers  of  His 
Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards."  Whether  the 
learned  Mr.  Robertson  was  carried  away  with  the  gallant 
colonel's  grandiloquence,  or  whether  he  thought  there  had 
5 


98  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

been  "  a  wasteful  and  extravagant  excess  "  of  the  colonel 
and  officers  of  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon 
Guards,  was  never  clearly  known  ;  but  it  was  a  settled  point 
in  the  minds  of  those  present,  from  the  peculiar  twinkle  in 
the  eye  of  the  learned  gentleman,  that  before  the  evening 
closed  there  would  be  in  one  shape  or  other  a  second  edition 
of  the  speech  of  the  gallant  colonel  of  His  Majesty's  — 
Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards.  The  description  I  heard  re 
minded  me  of  what  I  had  myself  once  listened  to  in  my 
own  house  in  an  after-dinner  speech  from  an  officer  belong 
ing  to  the  Bombay  army  whose  oratory  lasted  from  twenty 
minutes  to  half  an  hour,  during  which  time  the  Bombay 
army  was  honored  by  being  mentioned  once  every  two  or 
three  minutes.  The  late  Mr.  McCulloch,  the  political 
economist,  who  was  present,  muttered  to  his  neighbor,  "  I 
wish  to  goodness  there  never  had  been  such  an  army 
formed  as  the  Bombay  army,  for  depend  upon  it  until  we 
annihilate  the  Bombay  army  we  shall  not  get  another  glass 
of  claret." 

Mr.  Robertson  being  called  upon  to  propose  "The 
Ladies,"  took  his  cue  in  voice,  manner,  and  pronunciation 
from  the  gallant  colonel  of  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment  of 
Dragoon  Guards.  The  imitation  was  perfect,  and  in  a 
speech  eliciting  roars  of  laughter,  which  could  not  be  con 
trolled  or  suppressed  by  either  sex,  gave  his  toast.  The 
speech  had  scarcely  commenced  when  the  clang  of  uneasy 
armor  was  heard  from  both  sides  of  the  table — the  prelimi 
nary  adjustment  of  swords  previous  to  marching  was  clearly 
perceptible.  The  ladies,  through  their  representative,  had 
their  thanks  returned,  when  the  gallant  colonel  of  His 
Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards  and  his  gallant 
companions  at  once  took  formal  leave  of  the  hostess,  and 
retired  from  the  gay  scene. 

Of  course  considerable  excitement  ensued,  Mr.  Robert 
son  protesting  with  his  usual  gravity  that  the  whole  matter 


DUELLING  AND  DINING.  99 

was  quite  inexplicable ;  that  he  had  merely  taken  the  gal 
lant  colonel's  speech  as  a  model  for  his  own,  and  judging 
from  the  support  he  had  met  with,  especially  from  the 
ladies,  he  naturally  felt,  as  a  diffident  man,  encouraged  to 
proceed,  for  without  their  support  and  countenance  he  must 
have  broken  down.  Next  morning,  at  an  early  hour — duel 
ling  being  in  vogue  and  fashionable — Mr.  Robertson  re 
ceived  a  message  from  the  colonel  of  His  Majesty's  — 
Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards  by  a  brother  officer,  demand 
ing  an  instant  apology,  or  that  satisfaction  which  one 
gentleman  was  expected  to  give  to  another  whom  he  had 
grossly  insulted,  Mr.  Robertson  at  once  said,  "  I  am  quite 

prepared  to  give  Colonel the  satisfaction  he  demands, 

but  as  he  has  challenged  me,  I  think  it  right  to  inform  you, 
sir,  that  I  shall  select  my  own  weapons  ;  for  never  having 
fired  a  pistol  in  my  life,  which  I  have  no  doubt  the  colonel 
has  done  very  frequently,  I  should  not  be  on  an  equality 
with  him  as  an  antagonist.  I  must  beg  you  to  convey  that 
answer  to  him ;  at  the  same  time  assure  him  that  I  am  at 
once  prepared  to  afford  him  the  most  ample  satisfaction, 
but,  as  I  have  already  stated,  I  must  name  the  weapons." 

The  gallant  friend  of  the  offended  colonel  endeavored  to 
assure  the  learned  and  challenged  gentleman  that  the 
course  he  proposed  was  altogether  unusual  in  affairs  of 
honor.  "  You,  sir,  may  consider  it  so,  but  my  determination 
is  fixed ;  and  as  I  must  now  go  to  court,  I  defer  all  matters 
until  four  o'clock,  when  I  shall  be  found  here,  and  prepared  to 
receive  any  further  communication."  With  this  answer  the 
bearer  of  the  message  from  the  colonel  of  His  Majesty's  — 
Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards  retired. 

A  consultation  of  the  officers  followed  on  hearing  from 
their  chef  de  mission  what  had  passed ;  and  at  four  o'clock 
Mr.  Robertson  was  again  waited  upon  by  the  same  officer 
whom  he  had  seen  in  the  morning,  and  at  once  discovered 
that  la  chaleur  of  the  mess-room  was  rising  precisely  as  he 


100  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

desired.  "  Well,  sir,"  asked  tlie  learned  gentleman,  "what 
answer  have  you  brought  me  ? "  He  replied  that  in  the 
opinion  of  the  colonel  and  all  the  officers  of  the  regiment 
only  one  interpretation  could  be  put  upon  his  (Mr.  Robert 
son's)  conduct  in  alluding  to  other  weapons.  "  What  inter 
pretation,  sir,  I  demand  to  know  ?  "  "  That  you  wish  to 

shuffle  out  of  the  responsibility  of  giving  Colonel  u 

meeting."  "  I  argue,"  said  Mr.  Robertson,  "  from  another 
point  of  view  in  toto.  Your  colonel  is  at  home  in  the  use 
of  pistols  ;  I  am  not ;  but  in  the  weapons  I  shall  propose 
he  is  equally  at  home  as  I  am.  Let  the  colonel  make  the 
concession — and  let  me  tell  you  I  consider  the  honor  and 

character  of  the  officers  of  His  Majesty's Regiment  of 

Dragoon  Guards  involved — and  I  give  him  instant  satisfac 
tion."  Away  went  the  officer  to  report  to  his  colonel  and 
the  whole  body  of  officers  who  were  assembled  in  the  mess- 
room  throughout  the  day  on  this  momentous  affair.  He 
told  the  colonel  that  Mr.  Robertson  would  not  yield  a  jot, 
and  in  fact  hinted  that  he,  the  colonel,  being  the  party  chal 
lenging,  and  refusing  to  allow  him,  Mr.  Robertson,  to  select 
the  weapons,  laid  himself  open  to  the  charge,  which  he 
would  not  hesitate  to  expose,  of  shuffling  and  evasion. 
This  being  the  learned  gentleman's  ultimatum,  after  such  an 
innuendo  against  the  commanding  officer  of  His  Majesty's 
—  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards,  there  was  nothing  left 
than  to  yield  the  point,  and  accordingly  the  officer  was 
once  more  dispatched  to  Mr.  Robertson,  who  had  now  also 
assumed  the  character  of  belligerent,  to  communicate  the 
important  fact  that  the  question  involving  the  selection  of 
weapons  was  conceded.  In  the  mean  time  the  colonel 
thought  it  prudent  to  consult  an  old  experienced  military 
friend  on  the  spot,  to  whom  he  related  all  the  circum 
stances,  and  who,  it  appears,  had  more  common-sense  and 
acumen  than  all  the  officers  of  His  Majesty's  —  Regiment 
of  Dragoon  Guards  put  together.  "  Why,  colonel,  if  you 


DUELLING   AND   DINING.  101 

don't  take  precious  good  care,  you  will  have  yourself  and 
your  officers  made  the  laughing-stock  of  the  army.  Do  you 
not  know  that  Mr.  Robertson,  one  of  the  most  eminent  men 
at  the  Scottish  bar,  is  also  one  of  the  wittiest  men  in  Scot 
land,  and  you  will  all  be  shown  up  as  a  pack  of  fools. 
Why,  the  story  of  your  speech  and  his  speech  at  the  rout 
on  Tuesday  night  is  all  through  the  club  already,  and  will 
be  soon  notorious  in  Edinburgh  and  everywhere  else.  Take 
my  advrice,  and  get  out  of  the  farce  without  a  moment's 
delay,  otherwise  you  will  find  yourself  trotted  out  in  a  man 
ner  not  very  agreeable  to  the  regiment."  On  the  colonel's 
return  to  barracks,  no  doubt  considerably  crestfallen,  he 
found  his  friend  had  brought  a  formal  letter,  addressed  to 
himself  by  Mr.  Robertson,  acknowledging  his  (the  colonel's) 
courtesy  in  having  waived  the  question  of  weapons,  and 
that  he,  Mr.  Robertson,  had  therefore  the  pleasure  to  in 
form  Colonel that  the  weapons  he  would  select  were 

knives  and  forks,  to  be  used  in  the  mess-room  of  His  Majes 
ty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards  to-morrow  evening  at 
dinner. 

The  colonel  now  found  how  correct  his  experienced 
military  friend  had  been ;  and  the  whole  affair  was  pleas 
antly  arranged  by  Mr.  Patrick  Robertson  finding  himself 

next  day  the  guest  of  Colonel and  the  officers  of  His 

Majesty's  —  Regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards;  and  if  the 
learned  gentleman  was  witty  and  facetious  on  the  previous 
Tuesday  night,  he  was  doubly  so  on  this  occasion,  as  no 
guest  during  the  stay  of  the  regiment  in  Edinburgh  was 
a  more  welcome  visitor  in  its  mess-room  than  the  future 
learned  judge,  and  the  hospitality  that  was  afterward  mu 
tually  exchanged  led  to  warm  friendships  between  the 
eminent  and  learned  gentleman  and  the  officers  of  His 
Majesty's  —  regiment  of  Dragoon  Guards. 


102  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 


47.    A  Young  Scotchman's  first  Introduction  to  a  Lord 
Mayor  of  London. 

My  father  used  to  relate  an  amusing  incident  in  con 
nection  with  his  first  introduction  to  a  Lord  Mayor  of  Lon 
don.  He  was  then  a  youth  of  seventeen,  and  was  residing 
with  an  old  friend  of  his  family,  Sir  William  Douglas,  of 
Castle  Douglas,  N.  B.,  in  America  Square.  The  great  mer 
chants  in  those  days  did  not  object  to  live  within  sound  of 
Bow  bells.  He  was  returning  from  the  west  end,  about 
twelve  o'clock  at  night,  when  an  old  gentleman,  who  had 
evidently  dined,  was,  as  the  sailors  say,  "  backing  and  fill 
ing  "  in  the  latitude  of  Somerset  House. 

As  my  father  passed  him,  he  said,  "  Young  gentleman, 
do  let  me  take  your  arm."  The  arm  was  at  once  tendered, 
when  my  father  inquired,  as  he  could  not  discover  when  he 
first  hove  in  sight  of  the  distressed  pedestrian,  and  who 
now  solicited  him  as  a  convoy,  what  tack  he  wras  upon, 
whether  to  the  eastward  or  westward.  "  Oh,  young  gen 
tleman,  I  go  east."  "  Then  it  is  all  right,  as  I  go  in  the 
same  direction."  My  father  was  a  strong-built  lad,  other 
wise  the  duty  he  was  undertaking  might  have  proved 
somewhat  difficult.  In  those  days  the  devotees  of  Bacchus 
passed  unnoticed  and  unheeded  along  the  streets,  and  a 
Lord  Mayor  of  London  without  his  chain  or  his  state-coach 
was  not  different  from  "  other  men ; "  so  that  the  old  Char 
leys,  alias  watchmen,  of  that  period,  allowed  the  chief 
magistrate  with  his  youthful  protector  to  proceed  uninter 
rupted.  The  old  gentleman  said  nothing  to  his  juvenile 
help  or  prop  of  his  high  position  within  the  region  of  Tem 
ple  Bar.  The  only  topic  he  dwelt  upon,  and  a  favorite  one 
usually  with  Aldermen  and  Lord  Mayors,  was  the  dinner  at 
which  he  had  that  day  been  present,  cither  at  the  Thatched 
PIousc  or  Freemason's,  and  that  he  thought  a  walk  into  the 


INTRODUCTION    TO   A   LORD   MAYOR.  103 

city  afterward  would  do  him  good,  as,  generally  speaking, 
he  had  very  little  pedestrian  exercise. 

At  the  end  of  Cheapside,  he  said,  "  Young  gentleman, 
you  must  see  me  to  my  door,"  and  to  the  immense  surprise 
of  his  youthful  escort — who  had  hitherto  in  Scotland  only 
read  of  Lord  Mayors  as  great  historical  personages,  killing 
a  Wat  Tyler  in  Smithfield,  or  a  Sir  Richard  Whittington 
possessing  a  cat,  and  listening  to  the  chimes  when  about  to 
leave  London  forever,  which  told  him  to  return  and  be 
thrice  Lord  Mayor  of  London — the  door  he  reached  with 
his  unsteady  company  was  the  Mansion  House.  He  now 
discovered  that  the  old  gentleman  whom  he  had  picked  up, 
or  who  had  picked  him  up  in  the  Strand,  was  no  other  than 
London's  Lord  Mayor.  The  doors  flew  open,  and  the  state 
footmen  received  their  master  as  usual,  it  being  evident  to 
my  father  from  their  composure  that  the  Lord  Mayor  was 
not  in  the  least  more  elevated  or  disguised  on  this  occasion 
than  the  head  of  the  corporation  in  those  days  generally 
was,  in  returning  home  at  half-past  twelve  from  a  dinner 
party.  My  father  now  wished  to  retire.  "  No,  young  gen 
tleman,  you  now  know  who  I  am,  and  I  must  know  who 
you  are,  and  you  must  come  in  and  be  introduced  to  the 
Lady  Mayoress,"  who,  like  a  good  wife,  was  sitting  up  for 
her  husband.  When  he  found  that  his  youthful  companion 
from  the  Strand,  and  who  had  answered  his  signal  of  dis 
tress  so  promptly,  was  on  a  visit  to  Sir  William  Douglas, 
he  told  him  that  the  worthy  baronet  was  one  of  his  most 
cherished  friends,  that  he  was  to  dine  at  the  Mansion  House 
on  the  following  Thursday,  and  that  he  (my  father)  would 
receive  his  own  invitation  next  day,  and  must  accompany 
Sir  William,  "  and  be  sure  to  tell  him  what  good  care  you 
have  taken  of  the  Lord  Mayor  to-night,  and  kept  him  out 
of  all  mischief."  Sir  William  was  immensely  amused  with 
his  young  friend's  adventure  with  the  Lord  Mayor,  and 
suggested  his  writing  that  day  to  his  mother  in  Wigton- 


104  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEAR3. 

shire  a  full  account  of"  it ;  but  the  young  Scotchman  sug 
gested  that  he  had  better  delay  doing  so  until  he  was  able 
to  say  he  had  dined  at  the  Mansion  House. 

This  accidental  meeting  with  the  chief  magistrate  of 
London  in  the  Strand  at  midnight  led  to  my  father  being  a 
constant  guest  at  the  Mansion  House  during  the  remainder 
of  the  year,  and  afforded  abundant  topics  for  many  long 
letters  to  his  father  and  mother. 

I  recollect  my  father  relating  the  anecdote  at  his  own 
house  to  a  party  of  friends  who  had  not  heard  it  before, 
when  I  ventured  to  remark  that  this  bon  vivant  of  a  Lord 
Mayor  might  have  raised  himself  on  a  pedestal  of  imperish 
able  honor  for  impartiality  and  ingenuousness  through  his 
medium.  My  father  was  at  a  loss  to  know  how  this  could 
have  been  worked  out.  "  Well,"  I  said,  "  his  tender  of  hospi 
tality  to  you  for  bringing  him  home  safe  to  the  Mansion 
House,  was  not  enough ;  he  should  have  said :  '  My  young 
friend,  I  wish  to  see  you  to-morrow  morning  in  the  Justice 
Room  of  the  Mansion  House,  as  I  shall  have  an  important 
piece  of  business  to  transact,  in  which  you  can  alone  assist 
mo>' 

"  This  of  course  you  would  have  attended  to.  The  Lord 
Mayor  should  have  stated  from  the  bench  that  this  young 
gentleman  had  found  him,  their  chief  magistrate,  the  pre 
vious  night  drunk  in  the  Strand,  and  that  he  should  now 
inflict  a  fine  of  five  shillings  on  himself.  If  he  had  done 
this,  and  thus  proved  that  he  held  the  scales  of  justice  with 
an  even  and  impartial  hand,  that  in  his  administration  of 
the  law  it  was  the  same  for  the  rich  as  for  the  poor,  he 
would  have  gone  down  to  posterity  as  the  Lycurgus  or 
rather  the  Aristides  of  Lord  Mayors,  and  you,  my  parent, 
would  have  been  pointed  at  through  life  as  the  person  who 
had  brought  such  great  qualities  to  the  front,  whereas  your 
friend  may  have  descended  to  the  tomb,  as  many  Lord 
Mayors  have  done,  although  there  are  some  brilliant  excep 
tions,  '  unwept,  unhonorcd,  and  unsung.'  v 


THE   SCOTCH   M.   P.  105 


48.   The  Scotch  M.  P.  with  his  Companion,  Me  Culloctts 
Commercial  Dictionary,  in  the  House  of  Commons. 

A  member  who  had  sat  in  Parliament  for  many  years 
and  was  held  in  high  respect  on  the  Treasury  as  well  as  the 
Opposition  bench,  described  to  me  a  class  of  men  who 
came  into  Parliament,  but  who  neither  from  education  nor 
from  experience  of  the  world  and  society  were  qualified  to 
do  any  thing  beyond  voting,  but  who  nevertheless  fancied 
themselves  statesmen,  and  occupied  the  time  of  the  country 
in  hearing  themselves  talk,  so  that  they  might  next  morn 
ing  see  the  report  of  a  speech  infinitely  better  than  any 
they  had  delivered  paraded  to  the  country.  He  often  told 
me  that  in  his  opinion  the  gentlemen  in  the  Reporters' 
Gallery  were  far  too  indulgent  to  those  parliamentary 
bores.  He  described  to  me  such  a  member,  whose  only 
qualification,  it  was  alleged,  was  giving  good  dinners. 
This  man  fancied  himself  the  successor  of  Adam  Smith  and 
David  Ricardo;  for  if  a  financial  or  politico-economical 
question  was  to  be  discussed,  the  honorable  member  for 

took  his  place  early  in  the  evening,  passing  to  it  along 

the  floor  of  the  House  with  slow  step  and  grave  counte 
nance,  looking  patronizingly  on  the  Treasury  as  well  as  the 
Opposition  bench,  so  as  to  convey  the  impression  to  the 
minds  of  the  Commons  of  the  United  Kingdom  that  for  this 
evening  "  I  am  Sir  Oracle."  His  companion-in-arms  on 
such  occasions  was  that  most  valuable  of  all  commercial 
volumes,  "  McCulloch's  Commercial  Dictionary."  One 
memorable  evening,  when  seated  with  his  "  trusty  and 
well-beloved"  mercantile  lexicon  at  his  side  ready  for  in 
stant  reference,  he  found  that  the  debate  which  he  was  to 
illuminate  would  not  come  on  for  another  hour,  giving  him 
time  for  dinner.  He  left  his  McCulloch  behind  him  on  his 
seat,  and  a  well-known  and  facetious  member,  one  of  the 


106  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

wags  of  the  House,  having  ascertained  that  he  was  snugly 
seated  at  dinner,  took  the  great  absentee's  place,  to  the 
infinite  amusement  of  his  brother  M.  P.'s.  The  wag  care 
fully  inspected  the  marked  passages  of  the  volume,  and 
looking  up  at  his  friends,  who  were  enjoying  the  scene, 
exclaimed,  "  Why,  good  gracious,  if  he  gives  us  all  McCul- 
loch  says  on  the  subject,  he  must  speak  for  hours.  This 
won't  do,  I  must  stop  it ;  the  interests  of  Parliament  as 
well  as  our  own  domestic  comforts  demand  it.  We  shall 
be  regularly  bombarded ;  therefore,  in  nautical  phraseology, 
I  must  close  the  channels  by  lifting  the  buoys."  He  at 
once  proceeded  to  give  an  advanced  or  retrograde  position 
to  all  the  slips  of  paper  which  the  coming  orator  had  so 
carefully  arranged  to  lead  him  unerringly  to  those  length 
ened  quotations  which  were  to  constitute  the  main  staple 
of  his  intended  speech. 

Dinner  over,  the  honorable  member  returned  to  his 
place,  where  the  great  fear  was  that  before  he  commenced 
his  speech  he  might  detect  the  displacements  of  his  marks ; 
but  this  event  did  not  Occur.  A  very  few  introductory 
remarks  sufficed,  when  his  hands  were  forthwith  on  his 
bulky  tome ;  on  went  the  spectacles,  up  went  the  volume. 
"  I  shall  now  read  to  the  Hoose  what  Mr.  McCulloch  says." 
But  alas !  the  eminent  political  economist's  authority  was  not 
forthcoming.  Up  and  down  and  across  did  his  eyes  flit  and 
wander,  but  as  nothing  would  avail,  he  made  the  important 
announcement  that  he  would  save  the  time  of  the  Hoose 
(hear,  hear)  and  proceed  to  another  branch  of  the  subject. 
And  on  this  head  he  would  refer  also  to  Mr.  McCulloch, 
but  with  like  success.  After  floundering  and  floundering, 
to  the  vast  relief  of  the  Hoose  he  resumed  his  seat. 

All  the  consolation  or  sympathy  he  got  was  from  his 
next  neighbor,  an  old  and  experienced  member,  who  asked 
him  why  he  always  borrowed  or  attempted  to  borrow  Mr. 
McCulloch's  brains  instead  of  applying  to  his  own ;  for  that 


THE   SCOTCH   M.   P.  107 

he,  like  many  others  in  that  House,  had  a  copy  of  the 
work,  which  he  infinitely  preferred  reading  at  home,  and 
for  the  future  would  advise  him  to  do  the  same,  otherwise 
another  such  exhibition  in  the  House  of  Commons  might 
render  the  volume  unpopular,  and  make  its  distinguished 
author  very  angry. 

One  of  London's  city  celebrities,  an  alderman  and  ex- 
lord  mayor,  who  disliked  this  M.  P.  very  much,  was  highly 
pleased  at  what  had  occurred  the  previous  night  in  St. 
Stephen's,  and  for  two  or  three  days  occupied  himself 
chiefly  in  asking  his  friends  if  they  had  read  the  account  of 

the  absurd  exhibition  of  Mr. in  the  House  of  Commons. 

"  I  always  was  prepared,"  said  the  alderman,  "  for  what 
happened :  for  I  knew  him  to  be  a  most  pretentious  indi 
vidual.  He  never,"  continued  the  alderman,  "  rose  to  any 
eminence  as  a  tradesman,  and  because  he  has  had  some 
£60,000  left  him  by  a  relation,  he  imagines  he  is  shortly  to 
become  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer."  The  alderman 
usually  wound  up  his  criticism — "  Well,  as  long  as  he 
continues  in  Parliament  he  must  be  a  distinguished  mem 
ber,  as  he  is  considered  the  ugliest  man  in  it." 

On  another  occasion  this  persevering  statesman  had  been 
endeavoring  to  carry  conviction  to  his  hearers  in  the  Hoose 
on  one  of  his  financial  crotchets,  and  had  occupied  its  atten 
tion,  or  rather  its  time,  for  some  twenty  minutes.  When 
he  sat  down,  Sir  Robert  Peel,  who  had  lost  all  patience, 
told  him  that  he  had  been  talking  on  a  subject  of  which  it 
was  evident  he  knew  nothing,  and  gave  him  one  of  the 
severest  castigations  ever  administered  within  the  walls  of 
Parliament.  A  member  who  was  not  in  the  House  while 
Sir  Robert  spoke,  asked  on  his  return  how  the  rhinoceros 
bore  it.  "Oh,  he  told  us  all  on  our  bench,  'Mark  my 

words,  if  I  don't  serve  that  d fellow  Peel  oot  for  this.'  " 

"  I  hope,"  said  an  old  and  shrewd  member,  "  that  I  may  be 
fortunately  present  when  you  are  serving  out  Sir  Robert, 


108  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

for  if  you  do  it  well,  I  shall  expect  on  the  next  change  of 
Government  to  see  you  in  the  cabinet." 

There  was  a  scene  described  to  me  as  having  happened 
at  this  member  of  Parliament's  first  election,  which  must 
have  been  highly  amusing.  He  had  to  address  his  future 
constituents  for  the  first  time,  and  the  meeting  was  to  come 
off  in  the  evening ;  but  there  being  a  difficulty  in  finding  a 
place  sufficiently  capacious  for  so  important  and  interesting 
an  object,  the  clergyman  offered  to  open  his  kirk  for  him, 
in  return  for  the  honorable  candidate  having  already  opened 
his  purse-strings  extensively  in  the  district.  Every  corner 
of  the  sacred  building  wTas  crammed,  when  the  candidate 
for  senatorial  honors  was  seen  mounting  the  steps  of  the 
pulpit  with  a  large  volume  under  his  arm.  "  Ay,  mon,  div 
ye  see  that  he  is  ganging  up  into  the  pupit  wV  the  Bible 
under  his  arm  ?  "  "  N~a,  na,  it  canna  be  the  Bible,  frae  the 
binnen  (binding)  o'  the  bulk"  The  mysterious  volume 
was  soon  opened,  and  proved  to  be  McCulloch's  Commer 
cial  Dictionary,  from  which  he  read  for  nearly  two  hours, 
instead  of  attempting  a  speech  of  his  own.  Had  he  tried 
the  latter  plan,  he  never,  it  is  said,  would  have  graced  the 
House  of  Commons,  at  least  for  that  constituency.  The 
author  of  the  dictionary  was  always  quizzed  for  having  sent 
him  to  Parliament. 

But  the  greatest  of  his  numerous  weaknesses,  a  rock 
on  which  so  many  self-made  people  suffer  shipwreck,  was 
an  unquenchable  thirst  to  have  great  people  at  his  table. 
He  had  got  so  far  as  having  invited  one  or  two  Junior 
Lords  of  the  Treasury  and  Admiralty,  with  now  and  then  a 
stray  Under  Secretary  of  State,  but  his  ambition  was  to 
supersede  them  by  one  or  two  cabinet  ministers. 

In  the  fulness  of  his  pride,  he  had  confidentially  an 
nounced  to  those  near  him  in  the  Iloose  what  his  aspira 
tions  and  intentions  were ;  still,  the  precise  course  of  action 
he  intended  to  pursue  to  secure  his  quarry  was  never 


THE  YOUNG  PARSON  AND  THE  DUKE  OF  NORFOLK.  109 

exactly  known.  It  was  whispered  that  a  member  de 
Vancienne  noblesse  had  arranged  the  prandial  programme 
for  him,  and  it  was  fully  expected  that  he  would  honor 
the  prime  minister  with  an  invitation  to  a  Wednesday  or  a 
Saturday  banquet,  but  some  one  wisely  advised  him  not  to 
aim  at  such  high  game — placing  before  him,  with  a  transla 
tion,  the  motto  of  the  noble  house  of  Cavendish,  "  Cavendo 
tutus."  He  therefore  contented  himself,  perforce,  with 
counting  among  his  guests  a  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer, 
Mr.  Spring  Rice,  and  another  cabinet  minister  whose  name 
I  forget. 

49.   The  Young  Parson  and  the  Duke  of  Norfolk. 

The  late  Rev.  W.  Wright,  LL.  B.,  of  Brattleby  Hall, 
Lincolnshire,  Rector  of  Healing,  whom  I  was  in  the  habit 
of  meeting  occasionally  some  years  back  at  Brighton,  used 
to  relate  in  a  very  humorous  way  how  he  first  became 
acquainted  with  Charles,  Duke  of  Norfolk.  He  was  keeping " 
his  terms  at  Cambridge,  and  had  come  up  to  London  on  the 
Saturday  for  the  purpose  of  seeing  some  famous  actor, 
Kemble  or  Kean.  He  went  to  Joy's  in  Covent  Garden  to 
dine,  so  as  to  be  in  good  time  for  the  theatre,  and  had  given 
his  order  to  the  waiter,  who  had  left  the  coffee-room  to  see 
it  executed.  Wright's  eye  in  the  mean  time  was  attracted 
to  an  elderly  gentleman  sitting  at  a  table  in  the  centre  of 
the  room,  with  a  much  more  recherche  dinner  than  he  had 
ordered.  He  muttered  something  to  himself  as  to  his  stu 
pidity  in  not  seeing  this  before.  "  You  cannot  do  better," 
said  the  old  gentleman,  "  than  sit  down  here."  "  I  quite 
agree  with  you.  sir,"  said  the  young  Cantab,  "  and  I  shall 
countermand  the  dinner  I  ordered."  Wlien  the  waiter  re 
turned,  he  found  the  young  gentleman  hail  fellow  well  met, 
eating  his  dinner  with  the  duke,  concluding  that,  as  he 
appeared  quite  at  home  and  at  ease  with  his  grace,  he  must 
be  at  least  a  grand-nephew  of  the  duke. 


110  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

The  Earl  Marshal's  dinner,  which  during  the  theatrical 
season  he  took  almost  daily  at  Covent  Garden,  never  ex 
ceeded,  wine  included,  a  guinea,  and  four  shillings  to  the 
waiters,  or  one  pound  five  shillings  in  all.  An  extra  bottle 
was  ordered  on  this  occasion.  Dinner  over,  Wright  had  to 
be  off  to  the  theatre,  and  was  about  calling  to  the  waiter 
to  bring  in  his  bill,  when  the  old  gentleman  said,  "  Oh,  no, 
you  are  my  guest  to-day,  and  next  time  you  come  up  from 
Cambridge  I  shall  be  yours."  Thanking  his  hospitable 
entertainer,  and  extending  his  hand,  and  receiving  a  hearty 
shake  in  return,  he  left  the  coffee-room,  at  the  same  time 
beckoning  to  the  waiter  to  follow  him.  "  Who  is  that  nice 
old  gentleman  with  whom  I  have  been  dining  ?  "  "  Vy, 
does  you  mean  to  say  you  doesn't  know ?  "  "I  don't,  in 
deed,  I  never  saw  him  before  in  my  life.  "  Who  is  he  ?  " 
repeated  the  young  Cantab.  "  Oo  his  e,"  said  the  waiter, 
with  an  expression  of  countenance  which  the  undergradu 
ate  of  Cambridge  never  afterward  forgot.  "  Vy  e  his  the 
Dook  o'  Norfolk.  Didn't  you  not  know  that  ven  you  sat 
down  so  cool  to  dine  vid  im  ?  Is  grace  a  dines  eere  halmost 
hevery  day,  hand  ve  himagined  you  vas  a  relation  hof 
hisn." 

The  collegian,  after  this  hurried  explanation,  considered 
that  something  still  was  required  from  him  to  England's 
premier  duke,  with  whom,  and  at  whose  expense,  he  had 
been  dining  tete-d-tete,  and  he  hastened  back  to  the  coffee- 
room  to  enunciate  if  possible  something  like  an  apology ; 
but  the  head  of  the  Howards  met  this  by  saying,  "  Here  is 
my  card ;  I  shall  always  be  very  glad  to  see  you,  either  at 
Joy's  or  at  Norfolk  House :  give  me  yours.  I  think,"  said 
the  Duke,  "  we  have  enjoyed  our  little  dinner  together  very 
much.  I  know  I  have,"  said  his  grace.  "  By  this  time," 
said  Wright,  "  I  was  transformed  into  a  diffident  college 
youth,  as  the  only  rejoinder  I  could  make  was  a  profound 
bow." 


SIR  WALTER  SCOTT.  HI 


50.    Sir  Walter  Scott. 

Nothing  ever  occasioned  me  at  the  time  more  surprise 
or  disappointment  than  the  result  of  an  attempt  made  in 
the  city  of  London  to  promote  a  handsome  subscription  for 
the  Abbotsford  fund,  which  was  raised  in  order  to  secure 
the  estate  of  Abbotsford  to  the  descendants  of  the  illustri 
ous  "  Author  of  Waverley."  I  calculated  upon  £2,000  as 
a  minimum.  I  suggested  to  the  then  Lord  Mayor,  who  was 
a  Scotchman,  that  nothing  would  distinguish  his  mayoralty 
more  than  giving  his  aid  to  this  object,  and  his  lordship  en 
tered  at  once  heartily  into  the  idea.  Finding  that  the  chief 
magistrate  of  London  would  give  us  his  influence,  we  placed 
ourselves  in  communication  with  the  present  Earl  of  Stan 
hope,  the  late  Lord  Polwarth,  and  others,  who  cordially 
supported  our  views.  The  Lord  Mayor  requested  me  to 
arrange  the  dramatis  personce,  and  I  accordingly  suggested 
that  we  should  make  the  meeting  as  attractive  as  possible, 
by  inviting  such  personages  as  the  Lord-Lieutenant  of 
Middlesex,  the  Bishop  of  London  (Bishop  Blomfield),  Dean 
Milman,  and  others  alike  distinguished  by  position  as  by 
literary  and  official  eminence,  to  take  part  in  the  proceed 
ings.  Nothing  apparently  could  be  more  satisfactory  or 
promising  to  the  well-wishers  and  promoters  of  the  City  of 
London  Scott  Abbotsford  Testimonial.  The  Egyptian  Hall 
of  the  Mansion  House  had  been  placed  at  our  disposal  by 
the  Lord  Mayor,  and  no  sooner  were  the  doors  open  than 
the  place  was  filled.  The  Lord  Mayor,  the  Marquis  of  Salis 
bury,  the  Bishop  of  London,  and  the  other  speakers  stated 
the  precise  objects  for  which  the  money  was  required  in  the 
clearest,  most  forcible,  and  convincing  manner ;  but  I  had 
"  reckoned  on  the  chickens  to  be  handed  over  to  the  west- 
end  committee  before  they  were  hatched."  Lord  Salisbury 
and  most  of  the  leaders  in  the  affair  had  subscribed  to  that 


112  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

fund,  but  all  that  we  got  in  the  city,  including-  the  Lord 
Mayor's  subscription — and  £50  sent  us  by  the  late  Earl  of 
Aberdeen — was  under  £150  !  So  much  for  the  metropolitan 
admirers  of  Sir  Walter  Scott.  Be  that  as  it  may,  on  this 
occasion  at  least  they  had  left  th^ir  check-books,  their 
purses,  and  their  sympathies,  at  home. 

51.  How  my  .Faith  in  Archceology  received  a  Shoc7c. 

I  was  escorting  a  party  of  friends  to  see  the  far-famed 
grotto  in  Oatlands  Park,  Surrey,  now  the  property  of  Sir 
William  Drake.  One  of  them  was  a  man  of  high  accom 
plishments,  and  an  archaeologist  to  boot.  "By-the-by," 
said  I,  "  before  we  enter  the  grotto,  or  examine  the  tomb 
stones  of  the  Duchess  of  York's  dogs  and  monkeys,  let  me 
show  you  this  interesting  ivy-covered  tower  and  castellated 
relic,  which  is  always  much  admired  by  visitors."  In  the 
mean  time,  as  it  was  a  broiling  hot  day,  I  found  some  shade 
for  the  ladies  until  the  learned  antiquary  and  virtuoso  had 
minutely  examined  the  remains  to  which  I  had  called  his 
attention.  I  told  him  I  was  anxious  to  hear  wrhat  date  he 
gave  to  the  erection.  His  answer  was,  "  I  dare  say  you 
believe  it  to  be  four  centuries  old,  but  I  assure  you  it  is  not 
more  than  two."  I  shook  my  head  and  declared  such  a 
date  would  never  do,  and,  as  I  wished  to  roast  my  friend  a 
little  longer  in  the  sun  and  in  antiquities,  I  suggested  one 
more  walk  round  the  building.  That  completed,  he  held  to 
his  original  belief,  and  would  not  rise  a  year  beyond  the 
two  centuries.  He  then  asked  me  if  I  knew  the  date ;  I 
said  I  did,  and  that  it  was  built  by  my  late  friend  Mr. 
Peppercorne,  the  former  proprietor  of  Oatlands,  twenty 
years  ago.  We  immediately  took  shelter  in  the  grotto,  and 
I  need  scarcely  add  that  the  subject  of  archaeology  was  not 
resumed  that  day. 


THE  DUKE  OF  CLARENCE  IN  THE  HOUSE  OF  PEERS.   113 


52.    Ills  Royal  Highness  the  Duke  of  Clarence  (King 
William  IV.)  as  a  Member  of  the  House  of  Peers. 

Among  those  who  conscientiously  and  disinterestedly 
advocated  the  cause  of  the  West  India  planter  and  pro 
prietor,  when  the  slave-trade  was  the  question  of  the  day, 
was  Prince  William  Henry,  Duke  of  Clarence,  who,  as  a 
young  officer  in  the  navy,  and  subsequently  as  a  captain  of 
a  man-of-war,  knew  the  West  Indies  well.  He  always 
expressed  his  opinions  firmly  and  distinctly,  that  the  pro 
cess  entered  upon  of  working  out  the  emancipation  of  the 
negro  should  be  gradual,  and  pari  passu  with  the  prepara 
tion  of  the  negro  mind  for  that  freedom  which  ought  not  to 
be  thrust  upon  him  when  his  mental  capacity  was  yet  in  too 
infantine  a  state  to  receive  it.  A  notice  of  motion  had  been 
given  in  the  House  of  Lords  on  the  subject  of  suppressing 
the  slave-trade,  and  in  consequence  my  father  had  solicited 
an  interview  with  the  Duke  of  Clarence,  and  suggested  to 
His  Royal  Highness  that  it  would  be  highly  desirable  that 
his  clear  and  sensible  views  on  a  question  so  nearly  affect 
ing  the  commercial  interests  of  the  nation  should  be  made 
known  to  the  country  in  his  place  in  Parliament.  The 
Duke  agreed  to  take  part  in  the  debate,  and  requested  my 
father  to  see  him  occasionally  in  the  interim  to  talk  over 
the  subject.  When  the  day  approached  for  the  discussion, 
His  Royal  Highness  asked  my  father  to  be  present,  and  I 
have  heard  the  latter  say  that  the  Duke  of  Clarence's 
speech  was  excellent,  well  delivered,  and  commanded  great 
attention. 

At  the  conclusion  he  came  to  the  bar  to  see  my  father, 
who  offered  His  Royal  Highness  his  congratulations  on  his 
success  as  a  debater,  at  the  same  time  remarking,  "Why, 
your  Royal  Highness  spoke  for  twenty  minutes." 

It  may  not  be  uninteresting  to  know  the  heads  of  our 


114  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

future  sailor-king's  speech.  As  parliamentary  reporting  had 
scarcely  come  into  vogue  sixty-six  years  ago,  it  is  conse 
quently  short.  Mr.  Wilberforce,  attended  by  the  Attorney- 
General  and  several  members,  brought  up  the  bill  for  the 
abolition  of  the  slave-trade  for  a  limited  time.  The  bill, 
on  the  motion  of  Lord  Walsingham,  was  read  a  first  time. 

Thursday,  June  28, 1804. — "  The  Duke  of  Clarence  said 
he  would  only  trouble  their  lordships  with  a  few  remarks. 
Since  a  very  early  period  of  his  life,  when  he  was  in  another 
profession,  in  which  he  knew  not  why  he  had  no  longer 
employment,  he  had  ocular  demonstration  of  the  state  of 
slavery,  as  it  was  called,  in  the  West  Indies,  and  all  that 
he  had  seen  convinced  him  that  it  was  not  only  not  deserv 
ing  of  the  imputations  that  had  been  cast  on  it,  but  that 
the  abolition  of  it  would  be  productive  of  extreme  danger 
and  mischief." 

On  July  %d,  of  the  same  session,  His  Royal  Highness, 
having  now  taken  up  the  question,  again  addressed  the 
House : 

"  The  Duke  of  Clarence  presented  two  petitions  against 
the  Slave  Trade  Abolition  Bill — the  first  from  Liverpool, 
the  second  from  the  merchants  and  mortgagees  in  London 
connected  with  our  British  West  India  colonies,  praying 
that  the  bill  may  not  pass  into  law.  His  Royal  Highness 
said  :  If  the  bill  be  read  a  second  time  this  session  he  would 
then  feel  it  his  duty  to  move  their  lordships,  that  the  peti 
tioners,  pursuant  to  their  prayer,  should  have  leave  to  be 
heard  by  their  counsel  against  the  measure." 

On  the  3d  of  July,  1804,  "The  Duke  of  Clarence  ex 
pressed  himself  decidedly  in  favor  of  the  motion  for  delay. 
He  adverted  pointedly  to  the  injustice  of  attempting  to 
pass  a  bill  of  this  nature  without  hearing  at  their  bar  those 
who  had  petitioned  the  House  against  it.  Property  to  the 
amount  of  a  hundred  millions  was  embarked  in  our  West 
India  colonies,  which  returned  annually  eighteen  millions 


A  WIFE'S  DEVOTION".  115 

to  this  country,  producing  to  the  revenue  four  millions  a 
year.  Was  all  this  to  be  hazarded  without  deliberation, 
and  without  hearing  those  who  were  so  materially  con 
cerned  ?  He  stated  the  titles  of  two  Acts  of  Parliament 
passed  expressly  for  the  encouragement  of  this  trade,  which 
he  considered  as  an  additional  and  very  cogent  reason  why 
their  lordships  should  hear  with  attention  those  who  had 
thus  embarked  in  a  trade  on  the  faith  of  Parliament.  He 
did  not  consider  as  any  reason  for  their  not  now  coming  to 
a  decision  upon  the  subject,  as  had  been  stated,  that  some 
of  those  noble  lords  who  approved  the  abolition  were  not 
present,  since  it  certainly  was  the  duty  of  every  peer  to  be 
in  his  place.  He  had  heard  a  great  number  of  tales  of 
cruelty  exercised  toward  the  slaves  by  the  West  India 
planters,  but  he  was  acquainted  with  many  gentlemen  of 
that  calling  of  the  highest  respectability,  whom  he  did  not 
believe  capable  of  committing  or  sanctioning  any  such  acts 
of  cruelty,  and  with  whom,  if  he  did,  he  should  be  ashamed 
to  associate.  He  concluded  by  declaring  his  intention 
strenuously  to  support  the  motion  of  the  noble  Secretary 
of  State  for  postponing  the  bill." 

The  question  was  then  put  on  Lord  Hawkesbury's 
amendment,  which  was  carried  without  a  division. 

Whenever  my  father  met  His  Royal  Highness  after  this 
on  any  public  occasion,  he  usually  said,  "  Ah,  Boyd,  you 
brought  me  out  on  the  West  India  question." 

53.  A  Wife's  Devotion. 

My  late  friend  Commissary-General  Fitzgerald  told  me 
that,  of  all  the  horrors  connected  with  war,  the  worst  that 
he  had  ever  witnessed  was  being  called  upon  by  his  aunt, 
the  Hon.  Mrs.  Fitzgerald,  to  accompany  her,  on  the  night 
of  June  18,  1815,  to  the  field  of  Waterloo,  to  search  for  the 
body  of  her  husband,  Colonel  Fitzgerald.  My  friend,  then 


116  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

a  deputy-assistant,  was  stationed  at  Antwerp,  and  report 
having  reached  him  that  his  uncle  had  been  killed,  he  asked 
for  leave,  mounted  his  horse,  and  hurried  to  Brussels,  where 
he  found  his  aunt,  with  the  Colonel's  servant,  about  to  start 
for  the  field  of  battle.  He  begged  and  prayed  that  she 
would  leave  the  melancholy  duty  to  himself  and  the  servant ; 
but  neither  expostulation  from  himself  nor  from  some  Eng 
lish  ladies  at  Brussels  was  of  the  least  avail.  She  insisted 
upon  proceeding  on  her  mission  without  any  delay,  fearing 
she  might  be  too  late  to  secure  the  much-loved  remains. 
The  journey  there  being  accomplished,  the  widow  and 
nephew,  with  a  hand-lamp  each,  assisted  by  the  attendant, 
discovered  the  body  in  one  place  and  at  a  short  distance 
the  head,  which  had  been  carried  off  by  a  round  shot.  A 
cart  having  been  procured,  the  aunt  and  nephew  returned 
to  Brussels  during  the  night,  with  the  remains  of  him  who 
three  evenings  before  had  mixed  with  the  gay  throng  at  the 
Duchess  of  Richmond's  ball.  It  may  be  inferred  from  this 
story  that  Mrs.  Fitzgerald  was  a  wroman  of  great  determi 
nation.  She  was  on  terms  of  intimacy  with  my  father  and 
mother,  and  I  can  recollect  that  a  few  years  after  Waterloo 
she  passed  a  week  at  our  house  in  Scotland.  She  was  the 
mother  of  the  late  Right  Hon.  James  Alexander  Stewart- 
Mackenzie,  many  years  M.  P.  for  Ross-shire,  subsequently 
Governor  of  Ceylon,  and  afterward  Lord  High  Commissioner 
of  the  Ionian  Isles,  who  married  the  eldest  daughter  and 
co-heir  of  Francis,  Lord  Seaforth.  He  was  a  man  of  high 
talents,  with  whom  the  writer  and  his  late  brother  long 
lived  on  terms  of  confidence  and  private  friendship.  He 
had  known  us  from  boyhood,  being  a  constant  visitor,  while 
he  resided  in  \Vigtonshire,  at  our  house. 

Mrs.  Fitzgerald's  maiden  name  was  D'Aguilar.  Her 
first  husband  was  the  Hon.  Admiral  Keitli  Stewart,  third 
son  of  Alexander,  sixth  Earl  of  Galloway.'  The  Admiral 
died  in  1795,  and  his  widow  in  1797  married  Captain 


A   RECOLLECTION   OF   MR.   SECRETARY   STANLEY.    H7 

Richard  Fitzgerald,  whose  career  closed  as  a  lieutenant- 
colonel  at  Waterloo. 


54.    A  Recollection  of  Mr.  Secretary  Stanley  (Earl  of 
Derby). 

On  February  13,  1834,  I  witnessed  one  of  those  brill 
iant  displays  of  rhetorical  power  in  the  House  of  Commons 
for  which  the  late  Lord  Derby — then  Mr.  Stanley — was  so 
famous.  Connected  with  the  occasion  were  a  novelty  and 
anomaly  wrhich  greatly  enhanced  its  interest,  for  Mr.  Stan 
ley,  then  Secretary  for  Ireland,  was  supporting  Mr.  O'Con- 
nell,  who  had  moved  that  a  select  committee  be  appointed 
to  inquire  into  the  conduct  of  one  of  His  Majesty's  Barons 
of  Exchequer  in  Ireland  in  respect  to  the  exercise  of  his 
duties  as  a  judge,  and  to  the  introduction  of  politics  in  his 
charge  to  a  grand  jury.  The  speech  of  Mr.  O'Connell  in 
troducing  his  motion  was  couched  in  terms  of  great  moder 
ation,  as  no  one  listening  to  the  eloquent  and  learned  gen 
tleman  could  gainsay  the  fact  that  circumstances  of  a  very 
irritating  nature  had  marked  the  conduct  of  the  judge ;  and 
this  view  the  Chief  Secretary  in  his  speech  confirmed. 

Mr.  O'Connell  declared  that  the  question  he  had  to  sub 
mit  to  the  consideration  of  the  House  was  one  involving 
the  liberties,  property,  and  lives  of  the  people  of  Ireland, 
and  that  if  the  members  of  the  House  of  Commons  were 
resolved  to  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  his  appeal,  then  they  were 
unacquainted  with  the  state  of  Ireland,  or  grossly  ignorant 
or  grossly  careless  of  the  feelings  of  the  Irish  people.  He 
charged  the  judge,  firstly,  with  wilful  neglect  of  his  duty  as 
a  judge  ;  and,  secondly,  with  endeavoring  to  make  up  for 
his  deficiency  on  the  bench  by  acting  as  a  violent  political 
partisan.  One  of  the  charges  was,  that  he  scarcely  ever 
attended  in  court  before  half-past  twelve,  and  that  he  (Mr. 
O'Connell)  could  bring  forward  instances  where  fourteen 


118  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

prisoners  had  been  tried  between  six  in  the  afternoon  and 
six  in  the  morning. 

Into  the  discussion  of  the  gravest  matters  connected 
with  Ireland  I  have  always  observed  a  tolerable  amount  of 
humor  imported ;  and  this  case  was  not  an  exception,  for 
the  great  Liberator — although  expatiating,  at  times  most 
earnestly  and  solemnly,  on  a  gigantic  social  evil  where  the 
conduct  of  one  holding  the  high  and  sacred  office  of  judge 
was  impugned — could  not  resist  the  opportunity  of  throw 
ing  some  spice  into  his  remarks,  and  giving  them  a  flavor 
which  seemed  to  be  extremely  palatable  on  both  sides  of 
the  House. 

If  my  memory  at  this  distance  of  time  is  correct,  the 
honorable  and  learned  member  for  Clare,  Cork,  or  Kerry — 
I  forget  which — told  the  House,  in  a  vein  of  racy  humor, 
that  it  was  extremely  hard,  because  this  judge  of  the  Ex-. 
chequer  liked  to  sleep  in  the  daytime,  the  members  of  the 
Irish  Bar,  the  solicitors,  the  jury,  the  witnesses,  and  the 
prisoners,  too,  who  preferred  to  sleep  at  night,  were  to  be 
prevented  from  doing  so  through  the  eccentricity  of  one 
man ;  the  effect  of  which  was — at  all  events  with  the  gen 
tlemen  of  the  jury — that  what  they  lost  in  the  way  of  sleep 
in  their  beds  they  endeavored  to  make  up  in  the  jury-box. 
But  then  followed  another  serious  evil,  for  the  witnesses 
coming  into  court  at  six  o'clock  had  dined,  and,  having  re 
freshed  themselves  copiously,  were  frequently  quite  unable 
to  give  their  evidence. 

Mr.  O'Connell,  from  the  foregoing  specimen,  fully  suc 
ceeded,  as  Tom  Dibdin  used  to  say,  in  keeping  up  "  hilari 
ty's  log."  He  then  quoted  an  instance  of  great  hardship, 
where  a  Liverpool  merchant  had  brought  over  to  Dublin 
twelve  or  fourteen  witnesses  whom  he  had  to  maintain  at 
a  hotel  at  a  serious  expense ;  but  this  judge  of  Exchequer 
not  appearing  in  court  until  almost  the  close  of  the  day,  the 
case  never  came  on,  and  merchant  and  witnesses  had  to  re- 


A   RECOLLECTION   OF   MR.   SECRETARY   STANLEY.    119 

turn  to  Liverpool.  He  then  amused  the  House,  and  the 
gallery  as  well,  with  a  description  of  one  of  the  judges  on 
circuit,  who  really  was  an  early  riser,  coming  into  court 
betimes — frequently  at  eight  o'clock — while  his  colleague 
complained  of  not  unusually  made  it  half- past  three  in  the 
afternoon  before  he  appeared  on  the  bench,  where  he  occu 
pied  himself  writing  one  or  more  private  letters.  "  Then," 
continued  Mr.  O'Connell,  "  at  the  very  time  when  we  have 
the  lightest  calendar  of  crime  on  record,  for  which  the 
people  of  Ireland  should  have  been  highly  praised  and  con 
gratulated,  the  Government  are  allowing  their  characters 
to  be  steeped  in  the  filth  of  a  political  disquisition  from  a 
judge  on  the  bench."  Mr.  O'Connell,  to  use  the  words  of 
the  great  dramatist,  had  now  shot  "  all  his  shafts  into  the 
court  (Exchequer)  by  which  to  afflict  the  emperor  in  his 
pride."  Life-buoys  were  thrown  to  the  doomed  judge  by 
the  Right  Honorable  Frederick  Shaw,  Sir  Robert  Peel,  Sir 
Robert  Inglis,  and  Sir  James  Graham  (then  a  member  of 
the  Government),  who  declared  it  was  the  most  painful  vote 
he  had  ever  to  give  in  Parliament,  as  in  all  probability  he 
was  about  to  sever  himself  from  those  friends  with  whom 
he  had  so  long  acted  ;  but  all  was  of  no  avail,  as  the  Liber 
ator's  speech  had  placed  the  judge  beyond  every  means  of 
rescue ;  he  was  hopelessly  among  the  breakers.  His  fate 
was  sealed  when  Mr.  Secretary  Stanley  rose  and  supported 
Mr.  O'Connell.  His  speech,  as  usual,  was  most  eloquent  and 
piercing,  at  the  same  time  free  from  any  thing  bordering 
upon  acrimony ;  but  the  case  was  lost  to  the  friends  of  the 
judge  when  he  reiterated  one  of  Mr.  O'Connell's  strongest 
charges  against  the  accused,  in  having,  with  a  calendar  be 
fore  him  that  should  have  elicited  from  the  bench — espe 
cially  in  a  country  such  as  Ireland — the  highest  encomium, 
most  heedlessly  and  inconsiderately  launched  into  politics 
in  his  charge  to  the  grand  jury. 

Mr.  O'Connell  carried  his  motion  by  a  majority  of  93 — 


120  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

1G7  ayes  against  G7  noes ;  this  vote  led  to  the  judge's  re 
tirement. 

A  few  months  afterward,  when  I  was  a  guest  at  a  public 
dinner  in  Dublin,  it  fell  to  the  lot  of  this  very  ex-judge  to 
return  thanks  on  behalf  of  the  bar  and  the  legal  profession. 
I  listened  to  one  of  the  most  classical  and  charming  speeches 
I  ever  recollect  hearing.  He  touched,  with  the  brush  of  a 
skilful  artist,  on  his  own  case,  his  colors  being  "  so  blended, 
softened,  and  united,"  there  was  nothing  else  left  the  most 
fastidious  to  do  than  to  admire.  His  peroration  was  the 
only  passage  of  his  speech  that  could  be  questioned,  for, 
like  the  postscript  to  a  lady's  letter,  it  was  important, 
carrying  with  it  a  sting  in  reference  to  his  retirement  from 
judicial  life,  at  the  same  time  giving  Earl  Grey's  Govern 
ment  a  kick.  He  concluded : 

"  When  vice  prevails  and  wicked  men  bear  sway, 
The  post  of  honor  is  the  private  station." 

55.   The  Marquis  of  JLansdowne,  K.  G-. 

One  evening,  travelling  by  the  5  o'clock  express-train  to 
Brighton,  I  found  myself  the  only  fellow-passenger  of  the 
late  Marquis  of  Lansdowne,  who  had  been,  as  Lord  Henry 
Petty,  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer  in  the  short-lived  Gov 
ernment  of  the  Whigs  so  early  in  the  present  century  as 
180G.  I  had  shortly  before  this  had  a  meeting  on  Austra 
lian  affairs  at  the  Treasury  with  his  son,  Lord  Shelburne,1 
and  having  spoken  to  a  friend,  as  the  train  was  about  to 
start,  as  to  the  date  of  his  last  letters  from  Sydney,  his  lord 
ship  made  some  able  allusions  to  our  southern  colonies, 
and,  what  was  satisfactory  for  me  to  hear,  approved  of  the 
wholesome  agitation  we  were  following  out  in  the  promo 
tion  of  emigration  and  steam  communication.  The  conver 
sation  changed  as  we  were  passing  Gatton,  near  Rcigate. 

1  Afterward  fourth  Marquis  of  Lansdowne. 


MR.   GEORGE   DEMPSTER,   M.  P.  121 

"  There,"  said  the  marquis,  "  is  the  place  (the  gardener's 
house  was  all  that  was  left  of  the  ancient  borough)  that 
sent  two  members  to  Parliament  before  the  Reform  Bill  of 
Earl  Grey  became  law."  I  ventured  to  ask  the  marquis 
what  his  views  were  in  regard  to  such  boroughs.  "  Well, 
under  certain  limitations  they  are  very  useful,  without  ref 
erence  to  the  party  in  power ;  for,  if  the  country,  through 
a  Parliamentary  majority,  points  to  certain  men  to  take 
charge  of  the  government,  some  members  of  which,  of  high 
and  commanding  intellects  and  acknowledged  experience, 
are  of  limited  pecuniary  means,  it  is  a  great  hardship  that 
such  men,  who  have  reached  the  goal  after  years  of  toil  and 
struggle,  should  be  compelled  to  meet  some  rich  political 
cipher  on  the  hustings,  and  there  to  incur  serious  liabilities 
in  answering  the  corrupt  demands  of  a  body  of  venal  elec 
tors.  Some  alteration  must  be  devised  to  correct  this,  as 
well  as  to  purify  and  curb  the  electoral  body  generally. 
The  Reform  Bill  of  1832  achieved  much,  but  there  is  much 
yet  to  be  done." 

I  alluded  to  his  lordship's  borough  of  Calne  having 
given  Mr.  Macaulay  his  first  seat  in  Parliament,  to  which 
he  remarked,  that  "nothing  at  a  general  election  could 
have  kept  such  a  man  out  of  the  House  of  Commons,  as 
half  a  dozen  constituencies  would  have  been  proud  to  elect 
him,  although  the  opening  of  a  seat  for  him  at  Calne  prob 
ably  placed  him  in  Parliament  two  or  three  years  sooner. 
Therefore,"  continued  his  lordship,  "  here  was  a  positive 
advantage,  for  to  have  seen  such  a  man's  political  advance 
ment  retarded,  no  seat  being  procurable  for  him,  would 
have  been  a  national  loss  greatly  to  be  deplored." 

56.  Mr.  George  Dempster,  M.  P. 

I  have  heard  my  father  say  that,  when  he  was  a  young- 
man  in  London,  he  was  in  the  habit  of  meeting  in  society 
Mr.  Dempster,  member  for  the  Burghs  of  Forfar,  Perth, 
6 


122  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

Dundee,  Cupar,  and  the  learned  city  of  St.  Andrews,  who 
had  entered  the  House  of  Commons  in  1762,  two  years  after 
the  accession  of  George  III.,  and  did  not  retire  from  Par 
liament  until  1790.  He  was  a  man  much  respected  in  and 
out  of  Parliament ;  and,  as  little  more  than  half  a  century 
had  elapsed  when  he  became  an  M.  P.,  since  the  Union  of 
Scotland  with  England,  and  less  than  a  quarter  of  a  cen 
tury  since  the  battle  of  Culloden  and  the  executions  on 
Tower  Hill,  following  the  rebellion  of  1745,  he  was  pecu 
liarly  sensitive  and  tenacious  in  respect  to  the  maintenance 
and  vindication  of  Scottish  rights ;  and  his  national  suscep 
tibilities  were  well  known  on  both  sides  of  the  House. 

One  evening  an  English  member,  in  his  peroration,  in 
some  humorous  remarks  respecting  Scotland,  had  given  sad 
offence  to  Mr.  Dempster,  who  was  no  exception  to  Sydney 
Smith's  charge  against  Scotchmen  of  not  understanding  a 
joke,  for  the  moment  he  concluded,  up  rose  the  aggrieved 
member,  and  in  a  loud  voice  addressed  the  Speaker,  being 
resolved  that  his  pithy  rejoinder  should  be  heard  distinctly 
throughout  St.  Stephen's  :  "  Sir,  I  beg  to  inform  the  honor 
able  member,  in  reply  to  those  most  illiberal  remarks  with 
which  he  has  concluded  his  speech,  that  I  am  proud  of 
having  been  born  a  Scotchman  and  brought  up  a  Presby 
terian,"  and  down  lie  sat ;  when  his  honorable  opponent 
rose  and  said,  "  Mr.  Speaker,  all  I  have  to  say  is,  that  I 
consider  the  honorable  member  very  thankful  for  extremely 
small  mercies." 

57.  Foreign  Affairs,  or  rather  a  Temporary  Complication 
in  Home  Affairs. 

I  have  always  looked  upon  the  Minister  intrusted  with 
the  seals  of  the  Foreign  Office  in  this  country  with  interest 
and  respect,  whether  the  holder  of  them  was  Lord  Palmer- 
Bton  or  Lord  Russell,  Lord  Clarendon  or  Lord  Stanley.  The 


FOREIGN   VERSUS  HOME  AFFAIRS.  123 

statesman  who  can  keep  us  out  of  quarrels,  or,  when  in 
them,  get  us  out  of  them,  must  necessarily  command  a  dis 
tinct  and  separate  consideration  in  the  eyes  of  the  nation. 
That  consideration  was  with  me  largely  enhanced  more 
than  a  quarter  of  a  century  since  by  an  imbroglio  into 
which  I  found  myself,  as  the  head  of  a  domestic  cabinet, 
most  innocently  thrown  with  a  somewhat  too  sensitive  for 
eign  gentleman. 

When was  Prime  Minister  to  King  Louis  Philippe, 

he  had  for  his  private  secretary  a  gentleman  of  considerable 
powers,  who  subsequently  held  positions  in  diplomacy,  both 
important  and  responsible.  He  had  come  to  London  on  a 
short  visit,  and  during  his  stay  I  asked  him  to  meet  some 
friends  at  my  house  at  dinner.  On  such  occasions,  so  as  to . 
avoid  politics,  which  at  that  period  ran  peculiarly  high,  if 
any  humorous  celebrity  were  present,  it  was  not  unusual  to 
ask  for  a  recitation,  song,  or  impromptu.  Alfred  Crowquill 
was  one  of  my  guests,  and  in  his  usual  obliging  manner 
had  made  an  amusing  contribution.  The  wine  had  again 
passed  round,  when  my  father,  addressing  Mr.  Robert 
Coates  (so  well  known  as  Mr.  Romeo  Coates),  asked  him 
to  recite  Fitzgerald's  "  Ode  on  the  Death  of  Nelson," 
which  some  of  us,  with  myself,  had  heard  Mr.  Coates  deliver 
with  such  effect  a  few  weeks  before  at  one  of  Sergeant  Tal- 
fourd's  private  theatrical  parties,  and  where  the  foreign  ele 
ment  was  not  unfrequently  to  be  met  with.  It  never  oc 
curred  either  to  myself  or  any  other  of  my  friends  that  the 
ode  in  question  was  somewhat  mal  d  propos  for  French 
ears,  but  it  appeared,  which  I  had  not  observed,  that  my 
Continental  visitor  suffered  acutely  at  the  lines — 

"  Is  there  a  British  breast  that  does  not  beat 
At  Nelson's  triumph  and  the  foe's  defeat  ?  " 

and  the  climax,  it  seems,  was  reached  while  Mr.  Coates  was 
delivering  the  following  passage  : 


124  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

"  Yet  as  he  lived,  so  did  the  hero  fall : 
Crouched  at  his  feet  he  saw  the  humble  Gaul, 
Saw  hostile  navies  into  ruins  hurled, 
And  England's  trident  rule  the  wat'ry  world." 

When  Mr.  Coates  concluded,  and  had  received  our 
thanks,  up  rose  our  visitor,  and  that  moment,  and  not  till 
then,  did  the  horrors  of  the  foreign  complication  in  which  I,  as 
the  responsible  party,  had  become  involved,  present  them 
selves  before  me.  A  clear  casm  belli — the  French  flag  in 
sulted,  every  thing  de  bello  Gallico  flashed  before  my  eyes. 
In  fact,  and  in  accordance  with  diplomatic  usage,  I  fully  ex 
pected  that  the  aggrieved  French  gentleman  would  forth 
with  leave  the  table.  Now  I  said  within  myself,  "  Oh,  that 
I  were  for  five  minutes  endowed  with  the  diplomatic  talents 
and  power  of  a  Palmerston,  a  Russell,  a  Clarendon,  or  a 
Stanley  ! "  for  I  feared  any  explanation  of  mine  would  be  de 
pis  en  pis.  He  told  us  that  never  before,  in  English  society, 
had  his  feelings  as  a  Frenchman  been  so  deeply  wounded, 
and  a  good  deal  more  in  a  like  strain.  All  I  could  say,  in 
reply,  was  to  assure  him  I  very  deeply  regretted  that  the 
recital  of  the  ode  or  address,  written  by  Fitzgerald,  had 
caused  him  so  much  pain,  that  I  knew  my  regret  was  shared 
by  all  my  friends,  and  by  none  more  than  by  Mr.  Coates ; 
that  it  was  entirely  accidental,  etc.  We  soon,  however, 
discovered  that  Mr.  Coates  could  not  only  admirably  deliver 
a  beautiful  ode,  but  take  the  responsibility  of  doing  so  on 
his  own  shoulders.  Addressing  the  offended  gentleman, 
"  Why,  sir,  the  author  of  that  ode,  Mr.  Fitzgerald,  was  an 
Irishman,  and  your  father  was  an  Irishman,  although  you 
are  by  birth  and  by  domicile  a  Frenchman.  Now,  that 
to  some  extent  should  remove  a  portion  of  the  poison  from 
the  case,  and  with  a  distinct  disavowal  on  my  own  part  of 
meaning  any  thing  offensive,  I  must  be  permitted  to  say 
that  I  consider  it  very  unfortunate  that  you  had  not  for  this 
evening  allowed  yourself  to  be  considered  an  Irishman. 


FOREIGN   VERSUS  HOME  AFFAIRS.  125 

Still,  I  cannot  sit  down  without  begging  to  tell  you,  as  you 
have  alluded  to  your  royal  master,  that  there  is  no  English 
gentleman  at  this  table  who  has  received  so  much  marked 
kindness  and  attention  at  the  hands  of  your  Sovereign  as  I 
have  done.  Why,  sir,  King  Louis  Philippe  has  allowed  me 
to  address  him  with  a  freedom  seldom  accorded  to  any  one 
by  a  crowned  head.  When  I  had  the  honor  of  placing  my 
apartments  at  the  Hotel  du  Nord,  Boulogne-sur-Mer,  at  His 
Majesty's  disposal ;  his  yacht  having  been  driven  into  that 
port  by  stress  of  weather  in  the  Channel ;  at  the  very  mo 
ment,  let  me  tell  you,  sir,  when  it  was  feared  that  His 
Majesty's  Prime  Minister,  who  succeeded  the  illustrious 
statesman  with  whom  you  were  connected,  wished  to  go  to 
war  with  England — I  allude  to  the  complications  at  that 
moment  in  the  Mediterranean  on  the  Eastern  question, 
when  the  French  fleet  was  considered  superior  to  the 
British — I  said,  addressing  His  Majesty  at  the  public  re 
ception  he  gave  on  that  occasion  to  a  body  of  my  country 
men,  '  Long  live  the  King  of  the  French ;  long  live  the 
Queen  of  England,  and  peace  with  England.'  His  Majesty's 
reply  was,  holding  me  by  the  hand,  '  Mr.  Coates,  you  shall 
have  peace.'  Sir,  these  words,  when  they  reached  the 
London  Exchange,  raised  the  funds  within  the  next  few 
days  4  per  cent.  For  the  incident  to  which  I  allude  I  refer 
you  to  the  newspapers  of  the  day." 

Matters  now  assumed,  if  not  a  milder,  a  more  promising 
complexion  for  the  English  party,  as  Mr.  Coates  had  adopted 
an  aggressive  rather  than  a  tranquillizing  tone,  at  the  same 
time  intimating  that  he  would  have  no  difficulty  whatever 
with  the  afflicted  gentleman's  royal  master,  as,  were  it  re 
quisite,  he  was  quite  prepared  to  proceed  to  Paris  to  solicit 
an  interview  with  His  Majesty,  to  explain,  when  in  all  prob 
ability  he  should  learn  that  His  Majesty,  who  in  1805  re 
sided  at  Twickenham,  knew  Fitzgerald.  Mr.  Coates  then 
turned  his  head  to  the  now  astonished  Frenchman,  and  with 


126  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

infinite  ?iaivete  asked  him  ibis  question :  "  Do  you  think 
His  Royal  Highness  le  Due  d' Orleans,  as  an  illustrious 
emigre  in  this  country  in,  1805,  would  have  objected  to 
Fitzgerald's  ode,  or  even  to  the  destruction  of  the  Emperor 
Napoleon's  fleet  at  Trafalgar  ?  "  This  puzzling  question  was 
not  answered ;  and  Mr.  Coates  resumed  his  seat,  when  the 
amicable  and  convivial  relations,  which  had  been  suspended 
for  an  hour,  were  restored. 

58.  John  Gordon,  Viscount  Kenmure,  and  Lord 
Lochinvar. 

I  well  recollect  the  agreeable  impression  made  on  my 
mind  as  a  youth,  the  first  visit  I  paid  in  company  with  my 
father,  to  Lord  Kenmure  at  his  ancient  Castle  of  Kenmure, 
probably  the  oldest  inhabited  residence  in  Scotland.  He 
had  resided  in  early  life  for  some  twenty  years  on  the  Con 
tinent,  and  la  belle  France  had  imbued  him  deeply  with 
those  attractive  and  courteous  manners  which,  without  any 
reflections  on  our  nationality,  both  sexes  might  do  well  to 
imitate.  In  after-years,  during  various  tours  which  I  have 
made  in  Europe,  I  have  often  had  pointed  out  to  me  some 
old  member  de  Vancienne  noblesse,  the  resident  of  the  Fau 
bourg  St.  Germain,  of  which  class  I  always  looked  back 
upon  Lord  Kenmure  as  an  unmistakable  type.  In  the 
plays  of  Moliere  we  meet  with  personages  whom  I  carry  in 
my  memory  as  striking  portraits  of  the  Lord  of  Lochinvar. 
Burke  tells  us  that  "  manners  are  of  more  importance  than 
laws,  as  upon  them  in  a  great  measure  the  laws  depend. 
The  law  touches  us  but  here  and  there,  now  and  then ; 
whereas  manners  are  what  vex  or  soothe,  corrupt  or  purify, 
exalt  or  debase,  barbarize  or  refine  us,  by  a  constant,  steady, 
uniform,  insensible  operation,  like  that  of  the  air  we  breathe. 
They  give  their  whole  form  and  color  to  our  lives.  Ac 
cording  to  their  quality,  they  aid  morals,  they  supply  them, 
or  they  totally  destroy  them." 


VISCOUNT  KENMURE   AND   LORD   LOCHINVAR.        127 

Had  Burke  lived  after  Lord  Kenmure,  I  should  have 
supposed  that  in  writing  the  above  passage  the  Scottish 
viscount's  portrait  was  before  him.  Lord  Kenmure  like 
wise  acted  up  to  the  full  character  of  his  countrymen  in 
being  most  hospitable.  He  was  fond  of  a  joke,  and  few 
men  could  practise  one  more  successfully.  One  of  his  jokes 
I  now  enjoy  as  heartily  as  I  did  when  I  first  heard  it.  Most 
Scotchmen  know  that  his  grandfather  William,  sixth  Vis 
count  Kenmure,  attached  himself  to  the  Stuarts,  and  fought, 
in  1715,  against  George  I.,  at  Preston  Pans,  where  he  was 
taken  prisoner,  and  suffered  on  Tower  Hill.  One  hundred 
and  nine  years  afterward,  George  IV.  (1824)  restored  the 
honors  of  Kenmure  and  Lochinvar.  The  family  estates — 
at  least  the  Kenmure  Castle  portion  of  them — when  confis 
cated,  were  repurchased  by  the  widow  of  the  attainted 
viscount.  Her  son,  John  Gordon  of  Kenmure,  married 
Frances,  only  daughter  of  William,  fifth  Earl  of  Seaforth  ; 
and  she  was  the  mother  of  the  viscount  of  whom  I  write. 
He  always  spoke  of  his  mother  in  terms  of  the  deepest 
affection,  and  declared  that  she,  and  she  alone,  saved  the 
family  from  a  second  calamity  in  the  rebellion  of  1745. 
Being  a  clever,  strong-minded  woman,  she  had  discovered, 
soon  after  her  marriage,  that  her  husband,  like  his  unfor 
tunate  father,  was  a  warm  supporter  of  the  Stuarts.  This 
discovery  caused  her  the  deepest  anxiety  and  uneasiness. 
She  likewise  found  out  that  he  was  keeping  up  a  secret 
correspondence  with  the  adherents  of  the  Pretender.  She 
had,  therefore,  to  act  promptly  and  decisively.  According- 
ly,  she  made  a  friend  of  the  postmaster,  and  through  a  con 
fidential  servant  had  all  letters  for  her  husband  first  handed 
to  herself  for  inspection,  and  thus  possessed  herself  of  all 
the  secret  dispatches  coming  either  by  post  or  by  the  hands 
of  messengers.  The  moment  for  action  having  arrived,  her 
husband's  impatience  knew  no  bounds.  He  was  highly  in 
dignant  that  his  letters  were  unanswered.  Those  his  de- 


128  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  TEARS. 

voted  wife  had  never  allowed  to  be  dispatched,  and,  by 
quietly  and  judiciously  hinting  to  her  husband  that  Prince 
Charles's  party  might  probably  not  deem  his  adherence  of 
value,  he  had  been,  in  consequence,  overlooked  or  set  aside. 
This  view  of  matters,  so  admirably  put  before  her  husband, 
succeeded.  He  became  disgusted  at  being  thus  slighted, 
and  remained  in  his  old  Castle  of  Kenmure,  dispensing  his. 
hospitality  and  discharging  his  duties  as  a  country  gentle 
man  and  as  head  of  his  family,  until  the  explosion  broke 
forth,  the  sequel  of  which  was  the  attainder  of  Boyd,  Earl 
of  Kilmarnock,  Fraser,  Lord  Lovat,  and  others,  followed  by 
their  execution  on  Tower  Hill.  Lord  Kenmure  had  two 
English  friends  on  a  visit,  and,  to  show  them  the  lower  dis 
trict  of  the  county,  had  arranged  to  take  them  the  follow 
ing  morning  to  a  meeting  of  the  landed  proprietors  at 
Kirkcudbright.  His  lordship  had  sent  orders  to  the  land 
lady  of  the  little  inn  half-way,  where  the  horses  were  to  be 
baited,  to  have  a  first-rate  Scotch  breakfast  ready  for  two 
English  gentlemen  and  himself.  He  had  prepared  his 
friends  for  seeing  an  original,  on  whom  he  was  about  to 
play  a  trick.  During  the  evening  he  ordered  six  eggs  to  be 
sent  to  the  drawing-room,  at  the  same  time  desiring  one  of 
the  grooms  to  go  to  the  stable  and  pull  out  some  long  hairs 
from  a  horse's  tail,  a  thing  very  usual  on  the  banks  of  the 
Ken,  where  fishing-lines  had  frequently  to  be  improvised. 

The  eggs  having  arrived  through  one  channel,  and  the 
horse-hairs  through  another,  the  noble  lord  had  to  carry 
out  his  first  operation,  which  was,  with  the  aid  of  a  needle, 
to  puncture  the  shell,  through  which  a  horse-hair  was  in 
troduced  in  each  egg — a  simple  process.  Having  arrived 
at  the  inn,  where  breakfast  was  waiting,  Lord  Kenmure 
sent  for  the  landlady,  and  said,  "  I  hope  you  have  not  yet 
boiled  the  eggs  ? "  "  -ZVa,  na,  my  lord,  I  hae  na  boiled 
them  yet."  "Because,"  said  his  lordship,  "one  of  my 
friends  is  so  very  particular,  that  he  must  see  the  eggs  first, 


VISCOUNT   KENMURE   AND   LORD   LOCHINVAR.       129 

after  which  he  will  tell  you,  should  he  like  their  appearance, 
how  long  he  wishes  them  to  be  boiled ;  bring  up  half  a 
dozen  as  quickly  as  you  can,  as  we  are  very  hungry."  The 
landlady  went  out  and  came  back  instantly  with  half  a 
dozen  eggs.  The  transfer  or  exchange  of  the  Kenmure 
Castle  eggs  for  the  landlady's  having  been  slyly  effected, 
the  former  were  ordered  to  be  boiled  two  minutes  and  three 
quarters  ;  the  landlady  promising  to  watch  the  boiling  her 
self  (my  am  set).  As  soon  as  the  two  minutes  and  three- 
quarters  had  expired,  the  lassie  had  the  eggs  on  the  table,  but 
scarcely  had  she  got  down-stairs  when  the  bell  rang  vio 
lently — "  Gang  back,  Mary,  this  moment ;  rin^  lassie,  rin, 
for  there's  something  wrang"  "  Tell  your  mistress  to  come 
here  instantly,"  said  his  lordship.  Away  ran  the  girl,  and 
her  mistress  was  in  the  presence  of  the  breakfast-party 
forthwith.  "Why,  my  good  woman,"  exclaimed  Lord 
Kenmure,  "  what  in  the  name  of  wonder,  is  this  ?  Here  is 
a  horse-hair  in  my  egg  !  "  "  Good  gracious,  ma  lord,  a  lang. 
horse's  hair  in  the  egg  !  Weel,  weel,  this  is  ayont *  ony 
thing  I  ever  kenned"  The  poor  woman  stood  so  bewil 
dered  at  the  long  hair  which  had  come  out  of  the  egg  and 
was  now  lying  on  the  table-cloth,  that  Lord  Kenmure  came 
to  her  relief,  by  telling  her  that  it  was  at  all  events  no 
fault  of  hers,  and  that  they  would  now  try  another  egg, 
when  out  came  another  horse-hair.  His  friends  were  con 
vulsed,  while  the  landlady  stood  aghast.  They  each  broke 
the  shell  of  their  respective  eggs  in  the  presence  of  the 
landlady,  whose  state  of  mind  and  amazement  at  what  she 
was  witnessing  had  now  reached  a  point  not  easily  to  be 
described ;  and  the  climax  of  her  distress  was  reached 
when  the  two  visitors  for  whom  she  had  so  anxiously  pre 
pared  a  good  breakfast  had  each  drawn  out  as  long  a  hair 
from  his  egg  as  Lord  Kenmure  had  from  both  of  his.  "  How 
can  you  account  for  this  ? "  said  his  lordship.  "  Oh,  ma 
1  beyond. 


130  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

lord,  I  see  exactly  hoo  this  comes  aboot :  that  dourc,1  stub 
born  man,  John,  in  the  yard  (the  ostler)  is  forever  letting 
the  hens  into  the  stable,  and  they  get  into  the  bunkers  and 
cat  the  horses'  corn,  and  it  is  noo  clear  to  me  that  they  hae 
swallowed  the  hair."  "Well,  never  mind,  landlady,  we 
have  an  excellent  breakfast  here,  and  I  don't  think  the  eggs 
appear  much  the  worse." 

The  party  drove  off,  and  in  the  evening  returned  to  rest 
the  horses.  The  first  salutation  Lord  Kenmure  received 
from  the  landlady  was,  "  Weel,  ma  lord,  they  are  cC  killed." 
"  What  are  killed  ?  "  "  The  heads  are  cut  off  every  hen  I 
hae,  as  I  will  not  risk  sic  anither  thing  as  happened  to  your 
lordship  and  the  gentlemen  this  morning ;  the  like  o'  it 
never  was  known  in  the  hale  o'  this  kintra 3  afore"  Sure 
enough,  Lord  Kenmure  and  his  two  visitors  saw  the  poor 
headless  fowls.  "  Then,"  said  his  lordship,  addressing  the 
persecuted  hostess,  "  as  you  are  resolved  to  change  the 
breed,  I  must  do  this  for  you,  as  my  hens  at  the  castle  never 
lay  eggs  with  horse-hair  in  them,"  and  accordingly  his  lord 
ship  replenished  the  landlady's  poultry-yard  on  an  exten 
sive  scale. 

There  was  always  some  joke  springing  up  w7ith  which 
the  excellent  Lord  of  Kenmure  was  in  one  way  or  other 
connected.  My  father  used  to  relate  one  which  is  worth 
recording.  There  was  a  prisoner  of  war  in  Scotland,  a  dis 
tinguished  officer  of  Napoleon's  army,  who  was  much 
esteemed  by  all  who  knew  him.  He  was  a  keen  sports 
man,  as  well  as  a  joyous,  agreeable  man,  and  no  pains  were 
spared  either  by  Lord  Kenmure  or  any  of  the  adjoining 
proprietors  to  contribute  to  his  amusement.  The  party 
assembled  at  Kenmure  Castle  were  the  following  day  to 
shoot  across  the  country  to  a  neighboring  proprietor's  seat, 
he  being  one  of  them.  Early  in  the  forenoon  the  attention 
of  the  general  Avas  drawn  to  a  few  small  black-faced  sheep 
1  obstinate.  9  country. 


VISCOUNT   KENMUBE  AND   LORD   LOCHINVAR.       131 

running  to  the  top  of  a  Jcnowe*  and  facing  round  upon  the 
sportsmen.  "  Vat,  vild  ?  "  "  Yes,"  said  the  wag,  at  whose 
house  the  party  were  to  dine  and  sleep,  "  wild  sheep." 
"  Vild  ships  !  Ah,  I  see,"  said  the  general,  "  vild  moutons 
— yase,  yase — vild  moutons ;  and  are  they  to  shoot  ? " 
"  Oh,  yes,  general ;  go  carefully  round  and  go  up  to  them 
quietly,  and  you  will  get  an  excellent  shot."  "  Veri  good, 
veri  good,  I  vil  approach  them  doucement"  Accordingly, 
off  he  started,  and  carried  out  the  instructions  given  him 
most  correctly,  which  in  a  few  minutes  were  rewarded  by 
his  bagging,  at  least  killing,  a  "  vild  mouton."  He  rejoined 
the  party,  greatly  delighted  at  his  successful  debut  in  this 
new  branch  of  sport. 

The  shooting  proceeded,  but  the  general,  who  was  much 
more  on  the  lookout  for  the  "vild  moutons"  than  for 
grouse  or  black  game,  soon  espied  at  a  short  distance  a  few 
more  of  his  woolly  friends.  "  Vbild,  voild,  vild  moutons  !  " 
"  Now,  general,  another  shot,"  said  his  friend  who  had  first 
directed  his  tastes  to  "  vild  moutons  "  or  "  vild  ships,"  "  and 
now  you  know  how  to  proceed."  "  Oh  yase,  oh  yase,  I  vill 
go  doucement."  He  again  succeeded  in  killing  another 
"  vild  mouton,"  amid  the  roars  of  laughter  and  congratu 
lations  of  his  brother  sportsmen,  one  of  whom  was  the  pro 
prietor  of  the  soil,  if  not  of  the  sheep.  As  the  day's  sport 
was  about  to  close,  and  most  of  the  guns  had  been  fired  off, 
they  were  approaching  the  house  of  their  friend,  who  had 
wickedly  made  the  general  a  sheep-slayer,  and  who  was 
famous  for  his  breed  of  Dorking  fowls.  The  general's  at 
tention  being  called  to  a  flock  of  them,  he  immediately 
asked  if  they  "  vere  vild  ?  "  "  Oh,  yes,  very  wild."  It  was 
forthwith  suggested  that  the  general  should  have  an  inno 
cent  shot  on  this  occasion,  and  the  keeper  was  desired 
quietly  only  to  put  a  charge  of  powder  in  the  gun.  The 
owner  of  the  Dorkings  enjoyed  as  much  as  his  friends  the 
1  a  hillock. 


132  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

general's  anxiety  to  be  off  for  a  shot  among  the  feathered 
tribe,  telling  him  not  to  wait  for  the  birds  being  on  the 
wing,  but  to  fire  whenever  he  was  within  proper  distance. 
One  of  the  party,  probably  Lord  Kenmure,  artfully  substi 
tuted  a  gun  loaded  with  shot  for  the  one  intended  for  the 
general,  merely  charged  with  powder.  They  were  now 
quiet  spectators  of  the  general's  enthusiasm  while  starting 
on  his  mission  to  the  Dorkings,  and  who  soon  had  four 
sprawling  on  the  ground,  to  the  utter  dismay  and  amaze 
ment  of  the  laird,  their  owner.  All  eyes  were  upon  the 
keeper,  who,  equally  astonished  as  the  laird  and  the  rest, 
emphatically  declared  that  he  had  put  no  shot  in  the  gun 
he  had  handed  to  the  general.  Napoleon's  general  gave  a 
cheer  of  delight  at  his  own  prowess  and  great  success. 
The  owner  of  the  sheep  and  the  owner  of  the  Dorkings 
were  left  to  settle  the  question,  which  was  pronounced  by 
the  neutrals  to  be  one  of  "  diamond  cut  diamond,"  and  their 
Gallic  friend,  who  was  one  of  the  best-tempered  men  in  the 
world,  when  all  matters  were  explained  to  him  after  dinner, 
laughed  as  heartily  as  the  others  did,  adding,  "  Veil,  I  vill 
say  you  Scotch  genteelmon  are  veri,  veri  fonny.  You  tell 
me  to  shoot '  vild  ships ' — I  shoot  '  vild  ships.'  You  tell  me 
to  shoot «  vild ',  vat  ?  "  Dorkings."—"  Ah,  '  vild  Dork 
ings  " — I  shoot  '  vild  '  Dorkings.'  Ah,  raillerie  excellent, 
excellent." 

59.   General  Sir  James  Outram,  Bart.,  G.  C.  B. 

How  much  my  late  brother,  William  Boyd,  the  resident 
at  Baroda,  and  Political  Commissioner  in  Guzerat,  would 
have  enjoyed  to  learn  of  the  honors  that  late  in  life  awaited 
his  dear  friend  "  Jemmy  Outram  " — le  Chevalier  Bayard  of 
the  East,  as  he  was  called,  "  the  knight  sans  peur  et  sans 
reproche" 

He  had  formed  a  correct  estimate  of  Outram  as  a  lad. 
He  used  to  rate  the  young  soldier,  in  his  own  happy  humor- 


GENERAL   SIR  JAMES   OUTRAM.  133 

ous  style,  among  his  friends  at  Poonah  and  Nassuck.  "  I 
can't  persuade  that  fellow  Outram  of  the  great  talents  he 
possesses.  If  we  live  to  see  it,  we  shall  find  him  a  great 
diplomatist,  as  well  as  a  great  general."  Often  did  my 
brother,  when  assistant  commissioner,  under  Sir  Henry 
Pottinger,  in  the  social  circle  at  Poonah,  give  out  his  augu 
ries  regarding  Outram,  in  which  the  future  Chinese  pleni 
potentiary  heartily  concurred.  A  good  anecdote  was  told 
by  my  brother  of  a  rather  extraordinary  meeting,  or  almost 
rencontre,  he  had  on  one  occasion  with  Outram,  while  he 
was  one  of  the  secretaries  to  the  Government  at  Bombay. 
The  circumstance  is  well  known  of  Outram,  who  had  most 
chivalrously  volunteered  to  the  general  (Lord  Keane)  for 
the  hazardous  service,  arriving  at  Bombay  with  dispatches 
from  the  army,  having  passed  through  hostile  tribes,  in  the 
dress  of  a  native ;  in  fact,  accomplished  a  journey  of  days 
or  weeks,  under  circumstances  of  peculiar  peril  and  adven 
ture.  He  reached  Bombay  at  midnight,  and  made  his  way 
to  the  residence  of  my  brother,  then  government  secretary 
in  the  Persian  department.  He  effected  an  entrance  to  his 
house,  but,  not  wishing  to  disturb  the  household,  quietly 
betook  himself  to  the  secretary's  studio,  rolled  himself  up 
in  tiger-skin,  and  was  soon,  as  may  be  conceived,  in  a  state 
of  oblivion,  after  the  passages  by  "  flood  and  field  "  he  had 
just  gone  through.  The  secretary  had  work  to  do  at  an 
early  hour,  and  accordingly  repaired  to  his  sanctum,  when 
a  huge  mass  presented  itself  to  the  astounded  secretary. 
Few  men  had  shot  more  tigers  than  my  brother,  and,  as  the 
heap  on  the  floor  presented  evident  proofs  of  vitality,  the 
dirk,  the  rifle,  the  pistol,  all  flashed  across  his  mind,  as  he 
viewed  something  of  which  quoad  the  genus  tiger  there 
could  be  no  doubt.  Fortunately  for  the  future  hero  of 
Khooshab  and  Lucknow,  he  merely  applied  his  foot,  when, 
to  his  unspeakable  amazement,  out  rolled  the  unwashed 
and  unshorn  "  Jemmy  Outram." 


134  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

60.  A  Presentiment. 

I  remember  in  my  juvenile  days  the  late  Colonel  the 
Honorable  James  Stewart,  C.  B.,  afterward  Secretary  to  the 
Treasury  in  the  Duke  of  Wellington's  Government,  inter 
esting  us  extremely,  during  the  Christmas  holidays  in 
Scotland,  with  different  anecdotes  connected  with  his  event 
ful  life  as  a  Peninsular  soldier.  He  was  the  youngest  son 
of  the  noble  family  of  Galloway,  and  the  possessor  of  talents 
of  a  high  order.  He  served  under  the  great  duke,  along 
with  his  brother,  General  the  Honorable  Sir  William 
Stewart,  G.  C.  B.  On  the  occasion  to  which  I  refer,  among 
the  topics  that  were  discussed  was  the  amount  of  faith 
which  might  be  attached  to  a  presentiment.  Colonel 
Stewart,  although  disclaiming,  as  far  as  I  can  recollect,  any 
firm  reliance  upon  such  matters,  yet  (as  Schiller  tells  us, 
that  "  so  often  do  the  spirits  of  great  events  stride  on  before 
the  events  ")  mentioned,  in  connection  with  the  subject,  a 
singular  and  painful  occurrence  previous  to  the  battle  either 
of  Salamanca  or  of  Vittoria.  The  two  armies  had  taken  up 
their  position  before  the  fight,  when  a  brother  officer,  a  very 
dear  friend  of  his,  came  to  him  and  said,  "  My  dear  Stewart, 
I  have  had  a  presentiment  that  I  shall  be  killed  to-day  ;  so 
take  this  locket,  and  give  it  to  my  dear  wife."  Colonel 
Stewart  tried  to  rally  him,  but  it  had  no  effect.  "  Some 
thing  tells  me,"  he  said,  "  I  am  to  be  killed,  and  early  in 
the  day."  There  was  no  time  for  more  ;  Colonel  Stewart 
put  the  locket  in  his  breast,  and  among  the  earliest  who 
fell  was  his  friend.  After  the  battle  of  Toulouse  he  handed 
the  locket  to  the  widow  on  his  return  to  England. 

We  had  now  to  go  from  grave  to  gay,  and  I  made  the 
colonel  and  the  circle  smile  at  a  case  in  which  my  elder 
brother  and  myself  were  made  the  pitied  objects  of  a  pre 
sentiment  which  fortunately  lor  us  was  not  realized.  We 
had  taken  our  boat  one  very  dark  night,  about  nine  o'clock, 


A  PRESENTIMENT.  135 

to  set  our  night  lines  in  the  middle  of  a  loch,  or  small  lake, 
in  front  of  our  house.  The  lines  were  attached  to  a  long 
thin  upright  pole.  We  had  with  us  an  old  retired  carriage- 
lamp  ;  and  after  we  had  adjusted  our  hooks,  the  idea  struck 
my  brother  that,  if  the  fish  would  not  rise  to  our  bait,  pos 
sibly  the  natives  ashore  might  rise  to  our  candle.  We 
therefore  attached  the  lamp  to  the  supple  pole,  whose  flexi 
bility,  aided  by  a  moderate  breeze,  sent  our  illumination 
from  one  side  of  the  loch  to  the  other,  as  fantastically  as  we 
could  possibly  desire.  It  would  appear  that  our  cook,  like 
all  Scotch  cooks  at  that  period,  was  smoking  her  pipe,  at 
the  conclusion  of  the  day's  labor,  outside  the  house,  when 
her  eye  caught  the  mysterious  light  that  was  flitting  so 
rapidly  across  the  surface  of  the  water.  Down  went  the 
pipe,  and  up  rushed  the  cook  to  the  drawing-room  to  her 
mistress,  exclaiming  at  the  top  of  her  voice,  or  as  near  that 
pitch  as  she  could  reach,  "  Oh,  leddie,  leddie,  the  deede 
lie/its  (dead  lights)  are  fleeing  across  the  loch !  We  shall 
Jiae  something  happen  awfu  !  Oh,  the  puir  young  gentle 
men  !  "  In  Scotland  it  is  alleged  that,  three  nights  before 
a  person  is  drowned,  the  dead  lights  are  seen  floating  over 
the  precise  piece  of  water  where  the  drowning  is  to  take 
place.  After  landing  from  our  boat  we  had  a  short  distance 
to  walk  home,  during  which  we  heard  a  Babel  of  tongues ; 
but  this  was  soon  accounted  for,  on  finding  on  the  lawn  in 
front  of  the  house  the  members  of  the  family,  including  our 
tutor,  a  parson,  with  all  the  domestics,  assembled,  from 
whom  we  received  hearty  congratulations  that  we  were 
safe.  "Ay,  ay,"  cried  the  cook;  "thank  guidness  the 
young  gentlemen  are  safe  the  noo  (at  present),  but  it  winna 
last  lang"  According  to  the  deede  Uchts,  the  catastrophe 
that  awaited  us  could  not  come  off  for  three  nights — that 
was,  two  after  the  one  then  passing.  As  the  cook  was  the 
first  to  discover  the  mysterious  lights,  she  was  the  great 
authority  and  spokeswoman.  She  had  a  long  list  of  cases 


136  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

to  enlarge  upon  in  our  country,  handed  down  in  her  own 
family  from  father  and  grandfather,  where  the  deede  lichts 
had  invariably  appeared  three  nights  before  the  person  was 
drowned.  My  brother  and  I  offered  our  reverend  tutor  to 
take  him  in  the  boat,  so  as  to  have  a  pull  after  the  lights, 
but,  with  all  his  divinity,  he  declined,  and  considered  such 
foolhardiness  on  our  part  most  improper.  We  pressed  the 
matter  upon  him,  but  no  persuasion  of  ours  would  induce 
the  reverend  gentleman  to  risk  his  person  in  the  boat  that 
night.  In  fact,  had  the  cook  and  the  tutor  gone  up  in  a 
competitive  examination  as  to  which  of  the  two  was  the 
greater  alarmist,  they  must  have  been  "  bracketed  equal." 
But  no  one  that  eventful  night  discoursed  more  eloquently, 
being  on  te,rra  firma,  upon  the  extraordinary  phenomenon 
which  they  were  all  witnessing,  than  the  parson.  During 
the  next  three  days  my  brother  and  I,  although  contrary  to 
all  advice,  clerical  and  lay,  were  in  our  boat,  night  and  day, 
more  than  usual,  and,  when  the  period  of  suspense  was 
over,  we  asked  the  cook  to  explain  the  cause  of  our  escap 
ing.  "-ZVa,  na,  young  gentlemen,  it  is  true  you've  es 
caped  mercifully  this  time,  but  that's  no*  the  proper  way  to 
tak  it,  for  ye  dinna  ken  that  there's  no'  a  drowned  man  or 
woman,  or  two,  perhaps,  lying  at  the  bottom  o'  the  loch  at 
this  verra  moment,  for  the  deede  lichts  are  never  wrang" 
When  the  story  had  run  an  extensive  course  throughout 
the  district,  we  explained  all;  and,  although  I  have  not  any 
proof  of  the  fact,  I  yet  hope  it  may  have  assisted  in  re 
moving  a  stupid  superstition.  This  I  do  know,  that  our 
tutor  avoided  for  the  future  all  allusion  to  deede  lichts  in 
connection  with  drowning. 

Gl.   Tfie  Rev.  Dr.  Richardson,  of  Clonfeade,  in  the  County 
of  Tyrone. 

My  copybook  informed  me,  before  I  had  read  "  Hamlet," 
that  "  brevity  is  the  soul  of  wit,"  and  I  am  reminded,  in 


REV.   DR.   RICHARDSON,    OF   CLONFEACLE.  137 

these  days  of  disestablishment  and  disendowment,  of  one 
who  observed  this  eminent  qualification  beyond  any  one  I 
ever  knew.  I  have  before  me,  in  remembrance,  that  charm 
ing  and  aged  Irish  Episcopalian  clergyman,  the  late  Rev. 
Dr.  Richardson,  of  Clonfeacle,  in  the  county  of  Tyrone.  In 
addition  to  his  divinity,  he  was  a  leading  and  practical 
agriculturist,  and  occasionally  spent  a  few  weeks  with  my 
father  in  Scotland,  when  they  were  arranging  their  plans 
to  keep  the  price  of  wheat  at  a  steady  average  of  100s.  to 
1105.  a  quarter  !  At  this  period,  as  a  youth,  I  was  gener 
ally  desired  by  my  mother  to  say  grace  before  and  after 
dinner ;  but,  of  course,  on  the  reverend  doctor's  arrival,  I 
found  myself  superseded  in  my  office. 

As  boys,  we  admired  the  doctor's  grace  much,  because 
it  was  pithy  and  concise.  My  mother's  usual  request, 
"  Doctor,  will  you  say  grace  ?  "  "  With  pleasure,  mc?am.n 
The  words  were  uttered  rapidly,  but  sonorously — "  God 
bless  us  and  our  mate,  ^Imen."  At  the  conclusion  of  din 
ner,  "  Doctor,  may  I  ask  you  ?  "  "  Most  sarterily,  ma'am. 
Thank  God  for  what  we  have  resaived,  JLmen.'  " 

On  the  reverend  doctor's  departure  I  was  reestablished 
as  dinner  chaplain,  and  thought  I  could  do  nothing  better 
than  strictly  to  adopt  my  predecessor's  grace,  being  much 
shorter  than  my  own,  and  imitated  his  accent  and  mode  of 
delivery  as  closely  as  I  could  contrive  to  do.  He  was  a 
worthy  man,  and  I  considered  the  nearer  I  could  follow  him 
the  better.  My  first  attempt,  "  God  bless  us  and  our  mate, 
^tmen,"  was  considered  by  all  but  my  mother  very  success 
ful,  but  she  administered  to  me  a  tolerably  good  wigging, 
accompanied  by  a  strict  injunction  not  to  do  so  again.  She 
was  at  all  times  the  mildest  of  mothers,  and  no  sooner  had 
she  corrected  me  than  it  was  followed  up  by,  "  You  know, 
my  dear,  I  never  approved  of  the  doctor's  mode  of  saying 
grace."  Dinner  concluded,  and  called  upon  as  usual,  and 
wishing  to  finish  the  grace  I  had  studied  so  carefully,  out 


138  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

came  "  Thank  God  for  what  we  have  resaived, 
My  disendowraent  was  a  simple  affair,  and  my  disestablish 
ment  instantly  followed. 

The  worthy  doctor,  as  an  enthusiast  in  agriculture,  gen 
erally  arranged  his  visits  to  my  father  so  as  to  accompany  him 
to  the  agricultural  meetings  of  one  of  Cumberland's  distin 
guished  "  worthies,"  the  late  Mr.  John  Christian  Curwen, 
M.  P.,  of  Workington  Hall.  The  doctor  had  discovered,  or 
at  least  had  cultivated,  a  rare  spades  of  grass  called  florin 
grass.  My  father  was  easily  inoculated  with  any  new  agri 
cultural  doctrine.  "  Ounely  try  it,"  said  the  doctor,  "  and 
yer  cows  will  give  dobble  the  quantity  of  milk  immadi- 
ately;  and  what  is  so  beautiful  in  the  houle  matter  is,  that 
fiorin  grass  grows  better  on  a  inane  soil  than  any  other, 
ounely  you  must  be  particular  tlieforst  year  in  getting  yer 
ground  into  order."  My  father  accordingly  desired  his 
bailiff  to  prepare  a  quarter  of  an  acre  to  test  the  merits  of 
this  wonderful  grass,  and  the  following  season,  when  the  rev 
erend  doctor  paid  his  visit,  there  was  an  excellent  crop,  which 
he  pronounced  to  be  as  beautiful  as  nade  be  sane.  Our  bailiff 
was  from  Berwickshire — a  district  where  they  drop  the  let 
ter  "  r  "  as  universally  as  the  "  h  "  is  dropped  by  so  many 
of  Her  Majesty's  lieges  in  the  neighborhood  of  Bow  Bells. 
"  Well,  bailiff,"  said  the  doctor,  "  how  do  you  like  my  new 
grass  ?  "  "  It  is  a  gand  (grand)  gas  (grass),  doctor,  but  it 
is  too  dea  (dear)."  "  Och,  now,  never  mind  the  dareness,  at 
all  at  all."  The  fact  being,  that  in  regard  to  expense  they 
might  as  well  have  been  preparing  the  ground  for  tulips 
under  a  committee  of  gardeners  from  the  Horticultural  and 
Botanical  Societies.  But  the  doctor  looked  ounely  to  the 
solution  of  his  own  problem,  namely,  that  the  bovine  race 
preferred  fiorin  grass  to  any  other.  There  was  unquestion 
ably  an  aroma  from  this  grass  which  was  very  enticing,  and 
this  the  doctor  wished  to  demonstrate  by  ocular  proof.  A 
party  of  visitors,  the  agricultural  element  prevailing,  as- 


REV.   DR.    RICHARDSON,   OF   CLONFEACLE.  139 

sembled  in  front  of  our  house  to  witness  the  trial  of  "  grass 
proper  "  versus  "  fiorin  grass,"  and  the  doctor,  a  septuage 
narian,  with  his  Irish  valet,  Dennis,  superintended  the  ar 
rangements,  which  were  not  complicated.  Dennis  placed  a 
small  quantity  of  the  fiorin  grass  on  the  ground,  and  while 
this  was  being  done  one  of  the  spectators  remarked  how 
fragrant  it  was.  "  It  is  all,  sor,  fragrancy,"  remarked  the 
doctor.  Over  the  fiorin  grass  a  thick  coating  of  grass 
proper  \vas  thrown.  During  these  preliminaries  Dennis 
and  his  master  were  earnestly  colloquial,  but  the  talk  was 
carried  on  in  ould  Irish.  Dennis  and  another  servant  wrere 
now  to  be  dispatched  to  the  byre,  or  cow-house,  for  a  cow, 
but  before  starting  a  witty  spectator  said  to  him,  "  Now, 
Dennis,  after  all  that  old  Irish  your  master  and  you  have  been 
talking  so  quietly,  don't  you  be  bringing  out  an  Irish  cow 
that  may  be  in  the  secret."  "  Upon  my  sacred  honor,  sor" 
said  Dennis, "  I  never  exchanged  a  single  word  with  master 
about  the  cow,  and  furder,  sor,  I  dourft  belaive  his  honor 
here — and  he  is  not  far  wrong — has  a  single  Paddy  among 
his  cows. — Plaise,  sor,  will  you  come  wid  me  and  pick  out 
a  cow  ?  "  "  Oh  no,  Dennis  ;  be  off  and  bring  your  own 
cow  ?  "  The  animal  arrived,  and  had  its  attention  directed 
to  the  little  heap  of  grass,  when  it  at  once  scented  out 
something,  for  sure  enough  it  pushed  aside  with  its  nose 
the  grass  on  the  top  until  it  reached  the  fiorin  grass,  which 
it  lost  no  time  in  devouring.  The  test  was  a  great  success, 
and  the  veteran  divine  and  agriculturist  was  in  a  rapture  of 
delight.  "  If  that  doun't  carry  conviction  to  you  Scotch 
men,  what  will  ?  It  is  as  dare  as  daylight  that  fiorin  grass 
must  suparsade  all  other  grass."  The  doctor  and  my 
father's  bailiff  did  not  fraternize,  as  the  latter  looked  to  the 
cost  of  production  and  not  to  the  aroma.  "  What's  the  use," 
said  the  doctor,  "  of  spaJdng  to  a  man  who  won't  use  all 
the  letters  of  the  alphabet  ?  How  can  such  a  man  know 
any  thing  about  fiorin  grass  !  "  The  bailiff,  although  he 


140  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

dropped  the  letter  "  r  "  in  all  words  entitled  to  have  it, 
stuck  to  his  point.  "  We  a  (are)  obleeged,  docto,  in  this 
county  to  be  content  with  mutton  both  (broth),  although  we 
should  not  object  to  tittle  (turtle)  soup."  The  controversy 
here  ended,  and  with  it  the  future  production  of  fiorin  grass 
as  a  cheap  staple  food  for  my  father's  cows. 

The  doctor  was  full  to  overflowing  with  the  most  inter 
esting  details  of  the  Irish  rebellion,  and  as  boys  we  often 
asked  him  to  recount  some  of  them,  and  describe  scenes  of 
which  he  had  been  an  eye-witness.  He  was  a  man  of  great 
determination  and  personal  courage.  Never  was  there  a 
stouter  member  of  the  Church — militant  shall  I  say? — 
than  he  was.  He  and  his  household  had  once  to  defend 
their  lives  against  a  midnight  attack  of  a  body  of  rebels, 
who  were  effectually  beaten  off.  I  remember  the  first  time 
that  he  related  the  circumstances,  his  asking  me  to  ring  the 
bell  for  Dennis,  as  he  could  correct  him  if  he  went  astray 
in  his  narrative,  "  And,  moreover,"  added  the  doctor,  "  Den 
nis  did  a  dale  more  of  the  fighting  than  myself."  It  would 
appear  that  the  reverend  doctor  had  very  strong  political 
proclivities,  such  as  would  not  be  tolerated,  as  exercised  by 
him,  in  the  present  day,  and  private  information  reached 
him  that  his  residence  would  most  probably  be  attacked  on 
an  early  night.  "  Well,  then,"  said  the  doctor,  "  I  thought 
it  ounely  prudent  to  provide  myself  with  a  few  copies  of 
1  Brown  Bess,'  alias  moskets,  and  a  fairish  quantity  of  pow 
der  and  shot.  My  indoor  sarvants  were  all  right  and  faith 
ful — more  than  I  could  say  for  those  outside.  That  being 
so,  I  darned  (deemed)  it  wise  to  lay  in  a  good  stock  of  pro 
visions  in  case  we  had  to  stand  a  bit  of  a,  saiye.  It  was 
rather  a  starmy  night,  but  it  was  full  moon,  and  we  were 
all  as  near  being  in  our  beds  as  passible.  Every  thing  was 
well  barricaded  below,  when  Dennis  slipped  into  the  draw 
ing-room,  and  at  once  put  out  the  candles,  "  For  bcdad, 
sor,"  says  he,  "  the  boys  (the  rebels)  are  coming  over  the 


REV.   DR.   RICHARDSON,   OF  CLONFEACLE.  141 

lawn,  and  will' be  firing  slog  (slug)  into  this  room  before 
they  ever  ask  a  question."  At  this  part  of  the  recital  the 
doctor,  addressing  his  man  Friday,  "  Now,  Dennis,  correct 
me  if  I  go  Wondering,  for  I  wish  to  tell  the  yong  gintil- 
men  the  houle  story  before  they  go  to  bed."  "  You're  all 
right  sor,  yet."  "  Then  I  thought  the  proper  order  I  should 
give,  and  I  recollect  I  said  to  Dennis — now,  didn't  I,  Den 
nis  ?  "  "  Yes,  sor,  you  did."  "  '  Now,  Dennis,'  says  I, 
'you'll  just  let  the  boys  alone  until  they  try  aither  the 
front  door  or  the  back  door.'  v  "  That's  the  very  words  you 
said,  sor"  "  Now,  Dennis  had  resolved  to  place  one  half 
of  our  little  force  to  command  aich  door ;  and  didn't  Brown 
Bess  do  her  work  right  well !  for  after  the  first  discharge 
they  all  boulted.  But  the  ounely  foolish  thing  we  did  that 
night — and  Dennis  you  often  ouned  it  " — "  I  did,  sor  " — 
"  was  wasting  our  shot  when  they  were  scampering  off,  and 
they  thought  so  too,  and  that  we  couldn't  have  much  more 
left,  and  they  were  about  right,  but  not  altogether.  Dennis 
saw  the  mistake  we  had  made  in  wasting  our  powder,  and, 
although  I  say  it  before  Dennis  himself,  it  is  ounely  the 
truth  when  I  do  say  it,  that  I  never  knew  him  to  be  at  a 
loss  for  an  expadient.  l  Now,  sorj  said  Dennis,  '  their  Hod 
is  up,  and  they're  right  shure  to  be  back  in  an  hour,  think 
ing  we  shall  be  glad  to  be  looking  after  some  rest  in  our 
beds.  Well,  sor,  this  very  afternoon  I  cot  off  the  lead  pipe 
as  far  as  I  could  raitch,  to  save  the  boys  the  troble  of  doing 
it,  and  slog  is  never  at  all  of  any  use  without  powder ;  and 
I'lljist  tell  you  what,  sor,  Tim  and  my  own  self  are  going  to 
do  widout  a  marcel  of  delay,  and  that  is,  to  put  two  pots  on 
the  kitchen  fire  for  to  boil  the  lead,  and  the  very  moment  I 
see  them  comming  I'll  put  one  pot  under  Tim's  care,  and 
the  other  I'll  take  mighty  good  care  of  myself.'  Sure  and 
sartain  Dennis  was  right,  as  it  was  very  little  more  than 
over  the  hour  when  we  saw  a  larger  nomber  than  ever  com 
ming.  They  evidently  thought  we  hadn't  another  shot  in 


142  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

the  locker — which  was  not  exactly  the  case,  as  we  had  all 
our  Brown  Besses  loaded — or  that  we  were  sound  aslapc. 
Dennis  said  we  must  not  fire  another  shot  outside  the  house, 
but  kapc,  them  to  guard  our  staircase,  for  Dennis  saw  what 
I  did  not — that,  if  they  once  got  in,  we  should  be  driven  up 
to  our  first  landing,  and  then  that  every  shot  would  tell  a 
good  tale  for  itself." 

I  so  well  recollect  how  deeply  my  brothers  and  myself 
had  now  become  absorbed  in  the  reverend  doctor's  descrip 
tion.  "  Now,  Dennis,  I'm  going  on  all  right  ?  "  "  Every 
word,  sor,  is  the  truth,  if  there  never  was  annother  word 
spoken  in  the  houle  world."  "  Then,  yong  gintilmen,  all  I 
now  did  was  to  superintend,  for  I  left  all  to  Dennis."  "  You 
did,  sor."  "  Well,  jist  as  Dennis  had  forctould,  a  part  of 
the  rebels  came  to  aich  door,  and,  in  less  time  than  I  have 
been  now  spoking,  Dennis  had  a  shower  of  boiling  lead 
over  his  lot,  and  Tim  the  same  over  his.  Never  since  ould 
Ireland  was  a  contry  was  such  a  scratch  heard  as  that  night 
the  moment  the  hot  lead  racked  them.  They  boulted,  och, 
scraming  in  such  a  manner  as  I  shall  never  forget,  and 
although  I  knew  right  well  they  came  to  morder  me,  my 
heart  gave  way  to  hear  their  cries.  Well,  then,  I  called 
Dennis  to  ask  him  what  he  thought,  and  all  he  said  was, 
'  I  promise  you,  sor,  they'll  not  be  after  trobling  us  agin 
this  night;  and  take  my  advice,  sor,  and  go  to  bed  and 
slape  at  aise."*  I  was  never  once  bothered  after  this  during 
the  houle  of  the  rebellion,  but  I  always  toidd  the  boys  when 
I  met  them  that  Dennis  and  I  would  be  ready  to  fight  it 
out  with  them  at  any  time.  Their  usual  remark  was,  *  Och, 
bad  lock  to  Dennis  ! ' '  We  asked  the  doctor  if  any  of  the 
rebels  were  killed.  "  That,"  said  he,  "  I  never  inquired 
after,  for  I  was  tould  that  they  preferred  leaping  soch  mat 
ters  to  themselves ;  and  I  had  no  objection.  All  I  know  is 
this,  that  there  were  little  pools  of  blod  all  round  the  house, 
and,  as  Dennis  will  tell  you,  the  ounely  thing  we  picked  up 


A   REASON  FOR  ESCHEWING  POLITICS.  143 

in  the  morning  was  one  of  their  fingers."  Dennis,  who  was 
a  good  deal  more  communicative  on  this  more  delicate  part 
of  the  subject  than  his"  master,  said  that  he  had  "good 
raison  to  belaive  that  the  Mlt  and  wounded  were  aither 
thirteen  or  fourteen." 

62.  A  Reason  for  eschewing  Politics. 

A  friend  of  mine,  now  an  octogenarian,  gave  up  politics 
from  a  fright  he  had  in  early  life.  He  happened  to  be  in 
Piccadilly  when  Sir  Francis  Burdett  was  being  removed  to 
the  Tower,  and,  seeing  the  mob  busily  engaged  in  tearing 
up  the  paving-stones  to  throw  at  the  soldiers,  he  retreated, 
and  sought  refuge  in  the  Gloucester  Coffee-house ;  but 
there  he  discovered  it  was  a  case  of  removing  from  the 
frying-pan  into  the  fire,  for  entering  the  coffee-room  he 
found  a  gentleman,  who  proved  to  be  a  lieutenant  in  the 
navy,  telling  a  person,  who  was  evidently  a  warm  sympa 
thizer  of  the  honorable  baronet,  that  he  would  not  allow 
him  to  go  on  uttering  such  sedition  against  the  Crown  and 
the  Government.  But  the  other  retorted  that  he  would 
say  or  do  what  he  liked.  "  Then,"  replied  the  son  of  Nep 
tune,  "if  you  persevere  I  shall  stuff  your  head  up  the 
chimney."  This  threat  proved,  in  legal  phraseology,  an 
effectual  estoppel,  but  it  gave  my  friend  ever  after  a  dis 
taste  for  politics. 

The  following  letter  in  connection  with  Sir  Francis 
Burdett,  which  my  esteemed  friend,  Mr.  Richard  Galloway, 
allowed  me  to  see  and  to  have  a  copy  from  his  valuable 
collection  of  autographs,  will  be  read  with  interest.  It  is 
addressed  (1837)  to  his  father,  then  about  to  leave  London 
for  Egypt,  by  his  friend  Mr.  Hume,  M.  P.,  and  shows  the 
opinion  entertained  in  France  in  1810  of  the  honorable 
baronet,  alias  (then)  Westminster's  glory : 


144  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

"  BRYANSTONE  SQUARE,  July  1,  1837. 

"MY  DEAR  SIR:  I  have  read  Mr.  Backhouse's  letter, 
and  your  answer  to  the  memorandum  to  Viscount  Palmers- 
ton,  and  you  may  depend  on  my  attending  to  any  wish  you 
may  have  respecting  the  affairs  of  Egypt.  If  you  have  the 
opportunity  of  mentioning  to  the  Pacha  that  I  have  always 
retained  a  sense  of  obligation  for  the  attention  showed  me 
in  1810,  when  I  was  in  Egypt,  he  may,  perhaps,  recollect 
the  circumstance  of  my  being  with  him  when  the  French 
Consular  Agent  read  a  paper  from  Paris,  in  which  there 
was  an  account  of  a  revolt  in  England,  and  that  Sir  Francis 
Burdett  had  been  declared  king.  I  mentioned  that  it  was 
impossible  to  suppose  such  an  event,  but  it  was  possible  he 
might  have  been  arrested  on  some  charge  of  treason.  It 
was  the  time  he  was  taken  to  the  Tower.  Wishing  you  a 
pleasant  voyage, 

"  I  remain  yours  sincerely, 
(Signed)  "  JOSEPH  HUME. 

"  Alexander  Galloway,  Esq." 

Mr.  Galloway,  whom  Jeremy  Bentham,  in  his  corre 
spondence,  addresses  as  "  My  worthy  and  highly-esteemed 
old  friend,"  used  to  relate  a  good  story  of  two  city  officials, 
one  Sheriff  Parkins,  a  somewhat  eccentric  and  irascible 
person,  and  the  other  Charles  Pearson,  afterward  the  City 
solicitor,  usually  styled  "  Charlie  Pearson."  (I  may  men 
tion  en  passant  that  Pearson  may  be  considered  the  god 
father  of  the  Underground  Railway  system  in  London,  in 
asmuch  as  he  foresaw  what  was  coming,  and  recommended 
that  the  Corporation  should  retain  the  Fleet  Valley  proper 
ty  for  railway  purposes.)  Pearson  was  for  two  or  three 
years  M.  P.  for  Lambeth.  When  a  young  man,  he  and 
Sheriff  Parkins  could  never  agree,  and  their  disputes  fre 
quently  reached  a  very  dangerous  point,  the  sheriff  threaten 
ing  to  give  Pearson  a  thrashing.  A  member  of  the  Corpo- 


LORD   JOHN   RUSSELL  AND   THE   CORN   LAWS.       145 

ration,  who  felt  an  interest  in  Pearson,  said  one  day  to 
him  :  "  If  you  don't  take  care  that  sheriff  will  give  you  a 
precious  good  licking,  for  he  prides  himself  on  his  boxing 
accomplishments ;  and  were  you  to  take  my  advice  you 
would  follow  the  fashion,  and,  like  the  Marquis  of  Worces 
ter  and  other  young  swells,  go  to  Belasco  (the  black  pugi 
list)  and  have  some  lessons."  Pearson  took  the  hint,  and 
lost  no  time  in  placing  himself  either  under  Aby  Belasco, 
who  flourished  as  a  pugilist  in  1817,  or  Israel  Belasco,  who 
was  equally  famous  in  1819.  Pearson  was  an  apt  scholar 
in  this  as  in  every  thing  else  he  set  his  mind  to,  for  within 
a  week  of  practising  with  his  dark  instructor  he  planted  so 
strong  a  blow  into  Belasco's  chest  or  stomach — a  little  of 
both — as  to  make  him  exclaim,  "  Vy,  my  goodness,  you  'its 
has  'ard  has  Sheriff  Parkins  ! "  "  What  do  you  know  of 
Sheriff  Parkins  ?"  "Vat  do  hi  know  hof  Sheriff  Parkins  ! 
Vy,  hi  did  teach  'im  to  box." 

This  information  made  Pearson  the  more  assiduous  in 
his  studies,  and  Belasco  having  pronounced  his  pupil  a  most 
apt  and  accomplished  scholar,  it  is  supposed  that  the  hit 
Pearson  made  so  successfully  into  Belasco's  "  bread-basket," 
as  I  believe  it  is  pugilistically  termed,  must  have  reached 
the  ears  of  the  sheriff,  as  he  kept  himself  for  the  future  at 
a  respectful  distance  from  Charlie  Pearson. 

63.  Lord  John  Russell  and  the  " Repale"  of  the  Corn 

Laws. 

Roger  Rock — I  give  his  name,  as  I  have  nothing  to  re 
cord  of  him  that  is  not  of  a  satisfactory  nature.  Rock  had 
his  strong  political  predilections,  and  to  no  distinguished 
member  of  the  political  arena  did  he  extend  his  admiration 
so  fervently  as  to  the  above  illustrious  member  of  the 
House  of  Bedford.  Rock  was  acknowledged  by  all  my 
friends  to  be  a  perfect  valet — no  boots  ever  shone  more 
7 


U6  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

brilliantly,  nor  clothes  ever  better  brushed  than  by  Rock, 
and  no  morning  newspaper  was  earlier  or  more  minutely 
scanned  over  than  by  Roger  Rock.  When  he  came  to  my 
room  in  the  morning  I  generally  asked  him  for  the  news, 
as  he  seemed  to  me  to  have  some  means  of  obtaining  the 
morning  journals  the  moment  they  were  published.  He 
was  a  walking  agenda,  and  could  place  before  you,  in  the 
richest  vernacular  of  the  county  of  Roscommon,  a  synopsis 
of  the  politics  of  the  previous  day.  "  You  will  find,  sor" 
such  and  such  a  question  "ably  discossed  in  the  Times, 
Post,  Daily  JVeics,  and  Chronicle "  (for  he  had  an  oppor 
tunity  of  seeing  all  the  morning  papers),  "and  also  in  the 
Herald,  but  then,  agin,  yer  honor,  the  Herald  has  its  own 
lanings"  It  not  unfrequently  happened  that  I  could  have 
preferred  delaying  Rock's  political  information  for  another 
hour  so  as  again  to  "  shrink  to  that  sweet  forgetfulness  of 
life."  But  if  Lord  John  Russell  had  put  an  opponent  down 
in  debate  the  previous  night  in  St.  Stephen's,  Rock  could 
not  possibly  allow  me  to  read  the  fact  in  the  paper  for  my 
self — he  must  be  the  first  to  communicate  it.  One  morn 
ing  Rock,  after  locating  the  hot  water,  clothes,  and  boots, 
avoided  politics  entirely,  and  touched  upon  horse-racing. 
"  Why,  sor,  the  young  gintilmen  are  going  to  Ascot  Races 
to-morrow,  and  are  very  anxious  that  yer  honor  would  give 
me  lave  to  altend  them,  and  look  after  their  lonch  •  at  same 
time,  sor,  I  would  jost  be  taking  a  bit  of  care  of  them."  I 
told  him  I  had  no  objection  to  his  going  to  look  after  the 
young  gintlemen.  "  All  right,  sor"  Next  day  Rock  was 
at  Ascot,  and  when  lonch  was  over,  and  the  time  fixed, 
some  two  hours  afterward,  to  leave  the  course  for  London, 
he  told  the  party  "  he  would  like  mightily  to  have  a  stroll, 
if  it  were  ounely  to  saa  (see)  what  sort  of  a  place  Ascot 
was  ;  although  it  was  a  quare  (queer)  thing  for  him  to  say, 
he  had  never  been  on  Ascot  race-course  till  that  day."  The 
permission  was  given ;  but  my  young  relatives  being  most 


LORD   JOHN  RUSSELL   AND   THE   CORN   LAWS.        147 

desirous,  as  their  companions  were,  to  see  how  an  Irishman 
— and  that  Irishman  Rock — conducted  himself  on  a  first 
visit  to  Ascot,  resolved  to  watch  his  movements,  vulgo,  to 
"dodge  him."  They  were  close  behind  him  when  he  en 
tered  a  large  booth  filled  to  a  cram,  pushing  his  way  into  it 
with  great  difficulty,  when  it  seems  the  thought  struck  him 
that  the  talismanic  name  of  Lord  John  Russell  might  assist 
him  in  making  progress.  Yilliers,  Cobden,  and  Bright, 
were  then  riding  their  corn-law  race  on  all  the  chief  courses 
of  the  kingdom.  At  the  top  of  his  voice  he  called  out, 
"  Lord  John  Russell  and  a  repale  of  the  corn  laws — you 
understand  that"  And  again,  in  an  equally  high-pitched 
key,  "  Lord  John  Russell  and  a  repale  of  the  corn  laws." 
The  astounded  Berkshire  farmers  faced  round  upon  the  in 
truder.  "  What  do  you  know,  Paddy,  about  the  repeal  of 
the  corn  laws  ?  "  "  ;  Paddy,'  do  you  say  ?  " — and  down 
went  the  Berkshire  farmer,  more  probably  two  of  them,  for 
Rock  was  six  feet  in  height,  and  powerfully  built.  My 
young  friends  called  in  the  aid  of  the  police  to  rescue 
Rock,  without  which  he  would  probably  never  have  again 
mentioned  the  name  of  Russell.  He  w^as  released  with  a 
smashed  hat,  instead  of  head.  The  hat  was  never  again 
seen  by  Rock,  and  was  no  doubt  retained  as  a  relic  of  what 
a  Berkshire  farmer  had  carried  off  in  his  fight  to  retain  the 
corn  laws.  Next  day,  having  heard  of  the  affair,  I  asked 
Rock  how  it  happened.  "  Och,  sor,  and  it  is  all  true,  for  I 
had  been  often  tould  it,  that  these  Barksheere  farmers 
were  a  very  bad  lot."  "  But,  Rock,  you  must  have  brought 
it  entirely  upon  yourself,  for  the  Berkshire  farmers  are  a 
quiet,  respectable  body  of  men."  "  I  beg  pardon,  sor,  but 
yer  honor  is  entirely  mistaken  in  that,  for  I  was  jost  as 
pacdbly  inclined  as  any  man  on  Ascot  race  haith.  I  ounely 
wanted  to  know  how  these  farmers  trated  the  question  of 
corn-law  repale^  and  I  thought  there  was  no  mighty  harm, 
sor,  in  mentioning  a  respectable  and  clever  gintilmarfs 


148  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

name,  and  I  quietly  called  out,  '  Lord  John  Russell  and  a 
repale  of  the  corn  laws.'  What  right,  yer  honor,  had  they 
be  to  be  displazed  at  that  ? — and  thin  to  be  camming  on 
me  with  their  right  down  imptirtenance :  '  What  do  you 
know,  Paddy,  about  the  repale  of  the  corn  laws  ? '  You 
know,  sor,  no  coiunty  of  Roscommon  man  could  stand  soch 
an  insolt,  and  I  knocked  one  of  them  down — it  might  be 
two — there  and  thin,  and  a  dirty  mane  advantage  they 
took,  by  destroying  my  hat,  and  kaping  it  too." 

64.   The  Dean  of  Faculty  (subsequently  Lord  Robertson) 
and  Hock. 

Mr.  Patrick  Robertson,  afterward  the  eminent  Scotch 
judge,  was  very  partial  to  my  Irish  servant  Rock,  and  Rock 
in  return  always  described  the  lamed  dane  as  the  very 
cliverest  gintilman  that  Scotland  had  ever  produced.  A 
friend  who  was  at  my  house  one  afternoon,  when  Mr.  Rob 
ertson  called,  and  was  behind  the  scenes,  described  a  laugh 
able  colloquy  between  the  Dean  of  Faculty  and  Rock. 

"  Is  your  master  at  home,  Rock  ?  "  "  He  is  not,  Mr. 
dane,  but  he  is  somewhere  hard  by.  I  hope  I  see  you  well, 
sor  f  "  "  Only  so  so,  Rock ;  the  hot  weather  knocks  me 
up."  "  I  dourft  wonder,  sor  ;  it  reminds  me,  sor,  of  the 
weather  in  the  Houly  City  in  the  month  of  August" 
(Rock  was  a  stanch  Roman  Catholic.)  "  It  creates  thirst, 
great  thirst,  Rock."  "It  does,  indeed,  sor."  "Rock." 
"  Yes,  sor."  "  What  excellent  claret  that  was  we  had  here 
the  other  night ! "  "  First-rate,  yer  honor."  "  If  your  mas 
ter  had  been  at  home,  I  would  have  asked  him  to  allow  me 
to  quench  my  thirst  with  some."  "  I  can  manage  that  for 
you,  Mr.  dane,  as  I  have  got  a  nice  cool  bottle  that  was  left 
out  last  time,  and  master  will  be  right  glad  to  hear  that 
yer  honor  got  it."  "  Then,  Rock,  I  shall  walk  up-stairs ; 
first,  the  claret."  "  Yes,  sor."  "  Then  a  bottle  of  iced 
water ;  I  know  you  can  manage  that."  "  All  right,  sor  ; 


THE  DEAN  OF  FACULTY  AND   ROCK.  149 

and  the  newspaper?"  "  After  that,  you  need  not  disturb 
your  master."  "  I  shall  have  all  with  you,  sor,  immadi- 
ately"  The  moment  after  attending  to  the  learned  dands 
wants,  Rock  returned  to  the  gentleman,  who  had  heard  the 
tete-d-tete  between  them.  "$o/*,  do  you  know  who  that 
gintilman  is  ?  "  "  Not  exactly,  Rock."  "  Why,  sor,  he  is 
the  dane  of  all  the  law  in  Scotland ;  and  auch,  sor,  for  an 
after-dinner  spaich  there  never  was  such  a  gintilman ; 
ounely,  sor,  git  my  master  to  tell  you  the  story  about  the 
county  of  Pdbles  (Peebles)  and  the  dane — ounety  doun't 
say,  sor,  I  tould  you." 

This  story,  which  tickled  Rock's  fancy,  as  many  others 
of  the  learned  dean's  did,  arose  out  of  the  following  circum 
stance  :  Mr.  Robertson  was  in  London  as  counsel  on  some 
important  appeal  case  from  the  Scotch  courts  to  the  House 
of  Lords,  in  which  one  of  our  northern  counties  was  inter 
ested — Sutherland,  I  think.  The  case  had  been  before  their 
lordships  one  or  two  days,  and  Mr.  Robertson  was  to  pro 
ceed  in  his  argument  the  following  forenoon.  At  a  dinner 
party,  at  which  I  met  the  learned  gentleman,  there  was 
present  a  baillie,  or  other  magisterial  magnate,  from  the 
county  of  Peebles ;  and,  some  allusion  having  been  made  to 
the  case  in  which  Mr.  Robertson  was  engaged,  the  baillie 
remarked,  "  Ah,  Mr.  Robertson,  there  is  no  fear  o'  the 
coonty  o'  Sutherland  not  being  attended  to,  but  our  wee 
coonty  o'  Peebles  is  just  looked  upon  as  a  nonentity.  You 
never  hear  o'  the  coonty  o'  Peebles  nae  mair  than  if  it  did 
na  belang  to  Scotland."  "  That  is  very  wrang,  baillie,"  said 
the  learned  Scotch  advocate.  "  Oh,  it's  mair  than  wrang" 
said  the  baillie  ;  "  it's  doonright  disgraceful  ':  "  Well, 
said  Mr.  Robertson,  "  any  thing,  baillie,  I  can  do  to  bring 
the  county  of  Peebles  into  notice,  I  beg  to  assure  you, 
without  any  particular  reference  to  its  excellent  trout-fish 
ing,  which  should  never  be  lost  sight  of,  will  afford  me  great 
pleasure  and  satisfaction." 


150  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

A  witty  friend  at  the  table  asked  the  learned  gentleman 
hpvv  he  could  bring  the  county  of  Peebles  into  notice. 
"  Why,  I  shall  satisfy  you  very  soon  on  that  head,  and  the 
baillie  also,  by  making  a  beginning  to-morrow.  After  what 
I  have  heard  to-night,  I  shall  consider  it  my  duty,  so  long 
as  it  does  not  interfere  with  those  interests  which  I  now 
represent,  to  bring  the  county  of  Peebles  under  the  especial 
attention  of  the  Chancellor  and  the  judges,  as  well  as  all 
the  peers,  lay  and  spiritual,  who  may  be  present.  The 
baillie  has  made  out  a  very  strong  case  of  grievance,  and 
the  sooner  it  is  remedied  the  better." 

The  baillie  was  silent,  and,  if  one  could  judge  what  was 
passing  through  his  mind,  I  think  he  regretted  that,  in  his 
patriotic  desire  to  serve  his  native  county,  he  had  ever 
mentioned  the  subject.  Our  witty  friend  was  still  pressing 
to  know  precisely  how  our  learned  friend  was  to  proceed  in 
the  Peebles  affair  next  day  in  the  House  of  Lords.  "  I 
shall  take  my  own  course  in  that,"  said  the  learned  advo 
cate,  "  but,  if  you  will  promise  to  give  me  whitebait  at 
Greenwich  on  Saturday,  I  in  return  promise  you,  as  I  do 
my  friend  the  baillie,  to  mention  the  county  of  Peebles 
twenty  times  to-morrow  before  the  Jx>rd  Chancellor,  and, 
before  the  week  is  out,  the  baillie,  with  his  friends  in  Pee- 
blesshire,  will  see  by  the  Scotch  newspapers  that  I  fulfilled 
my  promise."  The  baillie,  so  far  as  the  claret  and  ether 
good  things  permitted,  was  very  grave  at  this  intimation. 
Accordingly,  next  morning,  when  Mr.  Robertson  was  about 
to  resume  his  argument  before  the  Chancellor,  and  seeing 
some  of  his  friends  of  the  previous  evening  present,  he  said 
to  one  of  them,  "  I  hold  you  responsible  to  keep  a  correct 
account  of  the  number  of  times  I  mention  the  county  of 
Peebles."  He  then  began,  and  had  not  proceeded  in  his 
speech  more  than  five  minutes,  when  he  said :  "  My  lords, 
I  shall  now  put  a  hypothetical  case.  I  shall  suppose  I  am 
arguing,  this  case  before  your  lordships  for  the  county  of 


LORD   ROBERTSON  AND   GALT   THE  NOVELIST.       151 

Peebles,  and  your  lordships  are  aware — at  least  some  of. 
your  lordships  are — that  the  county  of  Peebles  is  in  the 
south  of  Scotland,  within  a  short  distance  of  Edinburgh, 
the  capital.  The  county  of  Peebles,  my  lords,  is  therefore 
differently  circumstanced  from  the  county  of  Sutherland,  a 
northern  county."  The  learned  counsel  kept  constantly 
looking  over  his  shoulder,  and  in  something  more  than  a 
whisper  expressed  a  hope  that  he  was  taking  a  correct  note 
of  the  numbers.  At  last  his  friend  tapped  the  learned 
gentleman  on  the  shoulder,  and  told  him  his  whitebait  for 
Saturday  was  safe,  as  he  had  mentioned  the  county  of 
Peebles  twenty-four  times.  "  Honor  bright  ?  "  "  Honor 
bright,"  was  the  reply.  The  learned  gentleman  now  con 
cluded  his  argument  without  further  reference  to  the 
county  of  Peebles,  and  on  the  Saturday  enjoyed  his  white 
bait  much,  telling  the  party  that  he  had  never  won  a 
Greenwich  dinner  so  easily. 

65.  Lord  Robertson  dining  ivith  Mr.  Gait,  the  Novelist. 

I  heard  the  late  Mr.  Gait  say  that  one  of  the  most  brill 
iant  after-dinner  displays  of  Patrick  Robertson's  powers 
took  place  at  his  table  in  London  ;  my  late  father  and  elder 
brother  were  present.  I  unfortunately  was  not  invited, 
and  can,  therefore,  give  only  an  outline. 

It  may  be  recollected  that,  some  forty  years  ago,  two 
Scotch  magistrates  took  upon  themselves  the  responsibility 
of  closing  an  Orange  lodge  in  the  town  of  Newton-Stewart, 
Wigtonshire.  Both  magistrates  were  strict  Conservatives, 
or  rather  Tories,  and  anti-Catholics.  The  Hon.  Montgomery 
Stewart  was  one,  my  father  the  other.  It  created  much 
excitement  throughout  the  land,  and  the  magistrates  in 
question  were  pronounced  to  be  a  brace  of  Justice  Shallows 
in  arrogating  to  themselves  such  extensive  powers.  Their 
plea  was  expediency.  They  considered  they  were  acting 


152  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

wisely  and  prudently  in  their  attempt  to  prevent  a  collision 
in  the  district  between  the  Catholics — an  important  section 
of  the  local  population — and  the  Orange  party.  The  late 
Duke  of  Cumberland  and  the  Earl  of  Roden  thought  differ 
ently,  and  a  prosecution  was  commenced  in  the  Scotch 
courts  against  the  two  offending  magistrates.  Mr.  Robert 
son  was  retained  by  the  Orange  lodge  party,  and  the  case 
was  ripe  for  discussion,  when  the  two  magistrates,  terrified 
out  of  their  propriety  at  the  costs  which  they  saw  might  be 
thrown  upon  them,  struck  their  colors  to  the  Orange  flag, 
and  the  prosecution  was  quashed.  The  Earl  of  Blessington, 
who  that  day  dined  with  Mr.  Gait,  had  been  for  some  time 
absent  in  Italy,  and  after  dinner  made  an  accidental  allu 
sion  to  the  fact  of  some  Scotch  magistrates  having  at 
tempted  to  close  an  Orange  lodge,  unconscious  that  one  of 
them  was  present,  and  equally  so  that  Mr.  Robertson,  the 
leading  counsel  for  the  prosecution,  was  also  one  of  Mr. 
Gait's  guests.  "  Oh  !  "  said  Mr.  Gait,  "  Mr.  Robertson, 
can  tell  you  every  thing  connected  with  the  affair."  The 
learned  gentleman  at  once  said  it  would  afford  him  the 
greatest  pleasure,  and,  as  Lord  Blessington  was  as  familiar 
as  himself  with  the  language  of  Tasso  and  Ariosto  (at  that 
time  he  knew  nothing  whatever  of  Italian),  he  would  state 
the  whole  case  as  it  would  have  been  laid  before  the  court 
in  Scotland,  in  an  Italian  chant.  His  voice  was  basso, 
and  as  powerful  as  that  of  Lablache.  Each  "line  ended 
magistrate  or  Orange-lodge-o.  The  unfortunate  magis 
trates —  one  an  attentive  listener — were  laid  out  in  the 
richest  colors  of  burlesque.  The  roars  of  laughter  that 
accompanied  the  learned  chorister  throughout  his  chant 
may  be  well  conceived,  and  Lord  Blessington's  surprise 
was  extreme,  when  he  discovered  that  one  of  the  two  de 
linquent  magistrates  was  sitting  next  to  him.  My  father's 
health  was  immediately  proposed  by  Mr.  Robertson,  and  in 
returning  thanks  he  wisely  avoided  the  main  issue,  but 


LORD   ROBERTSON  AT   EGLINTON  CASTLE.  153 

expressed  the  great  satisfaction  he  had  experienced  in  find 
ing  the  Italian  language,  in  which  his  learned  friend  ap 
peared  so  much  at  home,  so  simple  to  understand,  as  he 
had  not  lost  a  single  word.  All  he  would  say  in  reference 
to  the  important  and  exciting  question  which  had  been 
brought  up  that  evening  and  had  convinced  him,  as  a 
Scotch  magistrate,  that  the  learned  gentleman's  jovial 
powers  were  as  formidable  when  clothed  in  Italian  as  his 
legal  powers  when  attired  in  Scotch,  was,  that,  as  it  had 
been  the  first  Orange  lodge  which  either  his  colleague  or 
himself  had  attempted  to  close  in  their  magisterial  capacity, 
his  learned  friend  might  rely  it  should  be  the  last. 

66.  The  Dean  of  Faculty  (Lord  Robertson)  at 
Eglinton   Castle. 

The  late  Earl  of  Eglinton,  who  was  very  partial  to  the 
learned  lord,  on^  one  occasion  invited  him  to  pass  a  few 
days  during  the  autumnal  recess,  at  Eglinton  Castle,  where 
a  house  full  of  visitors  from  the  south  had  assembled.  No 
doubt  he  had  told  them  whom  they  would  meet — possibly 
even  Mr.  Robertson's  personal  appearance  had  been  can 
vassed  ;  in  fact,  in  telling  the  story  he  said  he  was  satisfied 
it  had,  although  he  well  knew  that  his  kind  and  popular 
host  would  make  him  out  as  handsome  as  he  dared  to  do. 
To  those  who  never  saw  Lord  Robertson,  I  may  mention 
that  his  countenance  was  a  most  sagacious  one  and  full  of 
bonhommie.  He  was  the  possessor  of  what  Montaigne 
declares  to  be  "  the  most  manifest  sign  of  wisdom,  con 
tinued  cheerfulness."  He  was  of  the  build  of  Dr.  Johnson, 
one  whom  you  could  not  fail  to  remark  and  could  never 
forget.  As  he  could  not  allow  the  slightest  opportunity  to 
escape  of  having  his  joke,  even  at  the  cost  of  his  own  per 
son  becoming  the  subject  of  it,  I  must  relate  how  he  played 
himself  off  against  a  distinguished  visitor  at  the  Castle,  on 
the  day  of  his  arrival.  He  had  reached  the  drawing-room 


154  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

en  f/rande  tenue  before  even  his  noble  and  popular  host  or 
any  of  the  company  had  arrived. 

In  a  few  minutes  a  very  exquisitely-dressed  visitor, 
about  twenty-five  years  of  age,  sauntered  into  the  room ; 
the  Dean  was  about  forty-five,  and  the  disparity  in  regard 
to  weight  and  rotundity,  between  himself  and  the  gentleman 
whom  he  was  about  to  address,  was  even  more  dispropor 
tionate  than  that  of  years.  The  learned  Dean  argued  to 
himself:  "This  personage  can  be  nothing  less  than  an 
hereditary  legislator,  high,  very  high,  in  the  upper  ten 
thousand.  I  wonder,"  said  the  wit,  "  if  he  ever  heard  of 
me  in  the  lofty  region  in  which  he  floats.  It  would  be  sur 
passingly  gratifying  to  find  that  Patrick  Robertson  was  a 
name  familiar  in  that  elevated  sphere.  I  can't  reasonably 
expect  such  a  thing,  but  ascertain  it  I  will,  and  that  before 
Lord  Eglinton  enters  the  room."  He  approached  the  visi 
tor,  and  opened  thus :  "  I  presume,  sir,  I  have  the  honor  of 
addressing  Mr.  Patrick  Robertson  ?  "  In  a  reply  as  rabid 
as  it  was  rapid,  he  said,  "  I  am  not  Mr.  Patrick  Robertson," 
turning  instantly  away  to  a  table  covered  with  prints,  and 
throwing  off  with  electric  speed  an  expression  of  ineffable 
disdain  and  marked  displeasure  at  the  bare  idea  that  he 
was  Patrick  Robertson,  or  the  possessor  of  a  name  so  ple 
beian.  While  the  Dean  was  ruminating  and  quite  con 
vinced  that  he  had  "  taken  nothing  by  his  motion "  of 
inquiry  in  regard  to  himself,  the  door  opened,  and  Lord 
Eglinton  entered  with  a  large  number  of  his  guests.  "  How 
do,  Dean  ?  "  "  How  do  you  do,  Mr.  Robertson  ?  "  from  half 
the  party.  The  astonished  friend  of  the  noble  earl,  who  had. 
made  good  his  first  retreat  to  a  table  covered  with  works  of 
art,  now  made  a  further  retrograde  movement  to  one  end  of 
the  room.  After  the  full  and  usual  exchange  of  civilities 
had  passed — for  in  those  days  introductions  were  the  rule 
— the  learned  dean  heard  in  modulated  soprano,  "  Eylinton^ 
Eglinton^  I  wish  you  to  explain  the  subject  of  this  picture 


THE  DEAN  OF  FACULTY  AND  WATERLOO  BRIDGE.     155 

to  me."  Lord  Eglinton  obeyed  the  summons.  "Why, 
Eglinton,  your  friend,  that  dean  whom  I  found  here  alone 
when  I  came  down-stairs,  must  be  an  odd  man,  for  he  said 
to  me,  '  I  presume  I  am  addressing  Mr.  Patrick  Robert 
son.'  "  "  Well,  what  did  you  say  ?  "  "  Why,  I  told  him  I 
was  not  Mr.  Patrick  Robertson."  Lord  Eglinton's  roar 
of  laughter  which  followed  this  explanation  affected  the 
risible  organs  of  all,  save  one. 

The  story  was  in  excellent  hands  with  the  joyous  head 
of  the  house  of  Montgomery,  who  made  it  the  prelude  of 
one  of  the  most  joyous  evenings  of  humor  and  jocularity 
(and  they  were  many)  ever  passed  in  Eglinton  Castle. 

67.   The  Dean  of  Faculty  and  Waterloo  Bridge. 

Nothing  came  amiss  to  the  learned  Dean,  provided  it  se 
cured  a  good  laugh,  and  no  joke  was  in  his  opinion  more  suc 
cessful  than  racing  a  friend  across  Waterloo  Bridge,  which 
he  declared  to  be  superb,  though  others  less  learned  might 
have  looked  upon  it  as  the  half-holiday  pastime  of  a  pack 
of  school-boys.  A  friend  well  known  in  the  Scotch  circles 
of  London,  who  was  proud  of  his  gymnastic  powers,  and 
especially  of  his  running,  was  expatiating  on  this  branch  of 
athleticism  at  his  own  table,  when  a  facetious  guest  chal 
lenged  him,  in  all  apparent  earnestness,  to  run,  on  any  morn 
ing  he  chose  to  appoint,  between  the  hours  of  half-past  six 
and  half-past  seven,  from  the  Surrey  to  the  Middlesex  side  of 
Waterloo  Bridge.  Our  host  accepted  the  challenge,  and 
invited  the  party  to  breakfast  with  him  afterward.  All 
arrangements  being  made  with  the  bridge-keepers,  at  half- 
past  six  on  the  morning  fixed,  with  two  companions,  our 
friend  appeared  in  a  light  overcoat,  attired  underneath  in 
the  costume  of  a  regular  athlete.  No  Greek  or  Roman 
competitor  could  have  been  more  correctly  equipped, 
although  the  dress  was  somewhat  more  absurd  than  that, 


156  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

if  we  may  believe  Thucydides,  worn  by  those  who  contested 
at  Olympia  with  mere  linen  badges  round  their  loins. 

The  bridge  was  crossed  and  recrossed  by  the  subject  of 
the  hoax,  until  the  clock  struck  seven ;  his  opponent  and 
his  friends  having  screened  themselves  at  the  Surrey  side 
of  the  bridge  to  witness  his  peripateticism :  and  among 

the  remarks  that  reached  them  was  :  "  That  fellow is 

always  late.  I  never  asked  him  to  run,  it  was  his  own 
offer ;  he  promised  to  be  here  at  half-past  six,  and  now  it  is 
past  seven,"  etc. 

Ten  minutes  past  seven.  More  people  passing  by  this 
time  than  was  altogether  agreeable.  The  .clock  chimes 
half-past  seven,  when  even  the  bridge-keepers  become  un 
easy,  and  politely  intimate  that  they  consider  it  now  too 
late  for  the  race,  and  recommend  it  being  postponed  until 
next  morning.  The  expectant  runner,  thoroughly  disap 
pointed,  hurries  with  his  companions  from  the  bridge  and 
drives  home,  and  just  as  he  arrives,  another  much  larger 
party  headed  by  the  challenger  drives  up  to  eat  a  first-rate 
Scotch  breakfast.  The  entertainer — the  victim  in  both 
cases — was  complimented  on  his  brilliant  appearance  on  the 
bridge,  and  congratulated  on  the  charming  hour's  walk  he 
had  had  undisturbed  on  so  brilliant  a  morning  in  the  charm 
ing  month  of  June.  He  was  then  assured  by  the  challenger 
that  he  must  have  misunderstood  him,  "  as  he  never  wished 
to  run  him  out  on  Waterloo  Bridge — his  desire  was  to  trot 
him  out." 

68.  A  Recollection  of  Tom  Campbell. 

The  poet  was  dining  with  my  brother  and  myself  when 
a  witty  and  humorous  friend,  whose  hospitality  in  the  neigh 
borhood  of  Harrow  for  many  years  is  still  remembered  by 
a  large  circle  of  friends,  was  of  the  party,  and  drew  out  the 
Bard  of  Hope  very  successfully.  The  poet  had  just  re 
turned  from  Algiers,  and  was  full  to  overflow  with  anec- 


A  RECOLLECTION   OF   TOM   CAMPBELL.  157 

dotes  connected  with  his  residence  in  Northern  Africa.  He 
gave  us  a  most  animated  description  which  did  not  suffer 
in  illustration  from  his  having  imbibed  a  bottle  and  a  half 
of  claret.  "  Oh,"  said  the  poet,  "  I  can  never  forget  my 
visit  to  the  desert ;  oh,  dear  me,  no ;  an  impression  was 
made  on  my  mind  there,  that  can  never  be  erased.  Yes,  it 
is  quite  true ;  her  image  is  before  me  now — one  of  Nature's 
gentlewomen.  Oh,  that  poor  and  exquisitely  beautiful 
Arab  girl !  it  grieves  me  to  the  heart  to  think  what  will 
be  her  fate.  The  chisel  of  Canova  never  produced  any  thing 
to  bear  a  comparison  with  that  angelic  young  Arab." 

His  pathos  had  now  reached  a  serious  point,  as  the 
tears  trickled  down  his  cheeks ;  but  he  so  far  rallied  as 
to  be  able  to  tell  us,  that  if  he  had  ever  intended  to 
marry  a  second  time,  that  Arab  girl  should  have  been  his 
wife.  On  hearing  this,  we  reminded  him,  that  there  were 
always  two  interested  in  a  marriage  contract,  and  that 
possibly  on  his  popping  the  question  to  this  captivating 
and  enchanting  girl  of  the  desert,  she  might  have  replied 
in  the  words  of  "  the  Shunamite  woman,"  "I  dwell  among 
my  own  people."  "That  is  quite  true,"  said  the  poet, 
"  and  it  might  have  been  the  answer." 

Our  friend,  the  same  who  plotted  and  carried  out  the 
Waterloo  Bridge  "  trot  out,"  took  up  the  question,  and,  ad 
dressing  the  poet,  said,  "  Supposing  you  had  married  this 
lovely  maiden  of  the  desert,  what  would  you  have  called 
your  eldest  son  ?  "  "  How  can  I  answer  such  a  question  ? 
But,  on  second  thoughts,  I  dare  say  " — looking  round  the 
table — "  it  is  something  good — I  really  do  not  know  what 
I  should  have  called  him."  "  Well,  I  shall  tell  you  what, 
in  my  opinion,  you  should  have  called  the  boy — '  Sandy 
Campbell.' "  "  Ah,"  said  Campbell—"  good,  very  good— 
you  will  be  the  death  of  me.  In  the  mean  time,  here's  to 
you  in  a  bumper  of  claret." 


158  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

69.  Dr.  JBlomjield,  Bishop  of  London. 

The  last  time  I  saw  the  Bishop  was  at  the  Mansion 
House.  The  Lord  Mayor  (Alderman  Hunter)  and  Lady 
Mayoress  had  invited  my  wife  and  myself  to  the  annual 
banquet  given  to  the  Bench  of  Bishops  in  the  Egyptian 
Hall,  which  is  considered,  with  the  usual  dinner  to  the 
members  of  the  Cabinet  and  to  Her  Majesty's  judges, 
among  the  most  attractive  of  the  Lord  Mayor's  parties.  I 
shall  always  look  back  upon  the  speech  of  the  Bishop  of 
London  on  that  occasion  with  peculiar  interest.  The  Lord 
Mayor  and  the  Bishop  had  been  schoolfellows  at  a  school 
kept  by  the  Bishop's  father  at  Bury  St.  Edmunds.  They 
had  now  reached  their  respective  goals — the  .one  the  Bish 
opric  and  the  other  the  Mayoralty  of  London,  and  were 
there  to  congratulate  each  other  ;  and  we  to  congratulate 
ourselves  on  having  witnessed  in  their  persons  what  brilliant 
talents  and  moral  worth  in  the  one,  and  indomitable  indus 
try  and  high  character  in  the  other,  can  achieve  in  this 
country. 

The  Bishop  was  not  only  himself  a  witty  man,  but 
one  who  could  appreciate  wit  in  others.  I  recollect  a 
much  respected  friend  of  mine,  a  clergyman  in  Essex, 
making  me  laugh  at  an  anecdote  which  the  Bishop  used 
to  relate  with  infinite  zest.  A  new  church  had  been  erect 
ed  in  his  diocese,  and  a  day  was  appointed  for  the  conse 
cration.  The  Bishop  having  received  several  letters,  some 
anonymous,  attacking  the  taste  of  the  architect,  as  they 
alleged,  for  introducing  gewgaws  both  externally  and  in 
ternally,  resolved  to  judge  for  himself,  and  accordingly 
drove  down  two  hours  previously,  having  desired  the  archi 
tect  to  meet  him.  His  lordship  could  find  nothing  out 
side  the  building  to  question,  and  then  began  his  inspection 
of  the  interior,  with  which  he  was  also  satisfied ;  but  just 
as  he  had  reached  the  pulpit  he  looked  up  at  four  wooden 


A  SCOTCH  LAIRD   IN  THE   HOUSE   OF  COMMONS.      159 

images.  "  What,  Mr.  Architect,  do  they  represent  ?  "  "  The 
four  Evangelists,  my  lord."  "  They  look  to  me  asleep." 
"Do  you  think  so,  my  lord?"  "I  do."  The  architect, 
turning  round  to  one  of  his  men  working  in  a  pew,  called 
out,  "  Smith,  bring  your  chisel  and  open  the  eyes  of  the 
Evangelists." 

The  Bishop  had  been  a  widower  and  had  some  children. 
He  married  a  second  time  a  widow  who  also  had  a  family. 
He  had  asked  a  country  clergyman  to  dine  with  him  at 
London  House  on  Christmas-day,  telling  him,  "  You  will 
only  meet  our  family  party."  He  found  a  much  larger  cir 
cle  assembled  in  the  drawing-room  than  he  anticipated,  and 
was  introduced  by  the  Bishop  thus :  "  These  are  mine, 
those  are  hers,  and  those  are  ours" 

70.  A  Non-elected  Scotch  Laird  taking  his  Seat  in  the 
House  of  Commons. 

The  following  anecdote  I  heard  from  Mr.  Cutlar  Fer- 
gusson,  M.  P.,  as  well  as  from  the  laird  himself  the  day 
after  the  occurrence.  I  wrote  it  out  at  the  time,  and  it 
appeared  shortly  afterward  in  a  London  magazine.  A 
worthy  Scotch  proprietor  whose  estate  was  in  Kirkcud 
brightshire,  then  represented  by  the  Right  Hon.  B.  Cutlar 
Fergusson,  the  Judge- Advocate  in  Lord  Melbourne's  Gov 
ernment,  came  up  to  London  for  a  few  weeks  shortly  after 
the  assembling  of  a  new  Parliament.  He  called  upon  his 
Right  Hon.  friend,  who  asked  him  what  he  could  do  for 
him  in  town  ;  the  laird  said  that  nothing  he  would  like  so 
much  during  his  stay  as  being  present  at  the  debates  in  the 
House  of  Commons.  "That  being  the  case,"  said  the 
Judge- Advocate,  "  I  will  have  your  name  placed  on  the 
Speaker's  list."  The  following  evening  the  laird  was  early 
in  his  attendance  at  the  House,  found  his  name  on  the  list, 
and  was  told  by  the  door-keeper  to  enter.  Where  the 


160  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS, 

Speaker's  privileged  friends  sat  he  knew  not,  but  up  the 
body  of  the  House  he  walked,  and  took  his  seat  on  the 
second  bench  of  the  opposition  close  behind  Sir  Robert 
Peel.  An  interesting  debate  came  on,  and  the  laird  sat 
undisturbed  until  the  House  adjourned  at  midnight.  For 
tunately  for  him  there  was  no  division,  and  equally  fortu 
nately  it  was  a  new  Parliament.  Next  day  he  called  upon 
Mr.  Fergusson,  whose  first  inquiry  was :  "  What  became 
of  you,  as  I  looked  for  you  in  vain  ? "  "  Oh,"  said  the 
laird,  "  I  saw  you  moving  about  the  House,  and  tried  to 
catch  your  eye.  I  was  delighted  with  the  debate,  and  I 
shall  now  be  a  constant  attendant."  From  the  laird's  ver 
nacular  he  was  supposed  to  be  a  recently-elected  Scotch 
member,  and  being  a  tall,  portly,  gentlemanly-looking  man, 
so  far  as  appearance  went,  passed  muster  very  well.  Next 
night  found  the  laird  occupying  his  former  seat.  However, 
about  nine  o'clock  Lord  Granville  Somerset,  who  the  pre 
vious  evening  had  his  doubts  as  to  the  genuineness  of  the 
reputed  Scotch  M.  P.,  went  to  the  sergeant-at-arms  and 
asked  who  was  that  tall  man  sitting  behind  Sir  Robert 
Peel  ?  "  Oh,  he  is  a  Scotch  member,  one  of  yourselves, 
Lord  Granville.  "  "  I  doubt  that  exceedingly,"  said  his  lord 
ship,  "  and  I  doubt  his  being  a  member  at  all." 

The  sergeant-at-arms,  all  excitement,  flew  round  behind 
the  opposition  benches  and  gave  the  laird  a  sharp  tap  on  the 
shoulder,  desiring  him  to  come  to  him.  The  laird  so  far 
complied,  but  not  being  accustomed  to  be  treated  uncere 
moniously,  asked  the  stern  official  what  he  meant  ?  "  Why, 
sir,  you  were  in  the  House  last  night?"  "I  was."  "You  sat 
in  the  same  place  you  have  been  now  occupying  ?  "  "  Yes, 
the  very  same,  and  what  right  have  you  to  disturb  me  ?  " 
"  You  are  in  my  custody."  "  In  your  custody ;  for  what  ? 
Hands  off ! "  exclaimed  the  laird  in  any  other  tone  than  a 
mild  one.  "  Who  are  you  ?  "  asked  the  sergeant.  "  Who 
am  I  !  go  and  ask  Mr.  Cutlar  Fergusson ;  he  placed  my 


A   SCOTCH   LAIRD   IN   THE   HOUSE   OF   COMMONS.      161 

name  on  the  Speaker's  list,  and  if  there  is  any  mistake  " — 
the  laird  being  now  very  angry — "  it  was  your  duty,  as  the 
servant  of  the  House,  to  have  shown  me  where  to  sit."  The 
sergeant-at-arms  was  so  far  relieved ;  but  still  holding  the 
laird's  arm,  the  latter  again  exclaimed,  "  Hands  off!  "  and 
being  a  powerful  man,  soon  wrested  himself  from  the  offi 
cial's  grasp.  "  Tell  me  where  my  place  is."  This  he  was 
only  too  happy  to  do,  and  the  laird  now  took  his  fresh  seat 
in  St.  Stephen's  under  considerable  excitement,  muttering 
to  the  sergeant-at-arms,  that  it  was  a  matter  of  indifference 
to  him  where  he  sat,  provided  he  heard  the  speeches,  but  he 
must  beg  not  to  be  again  disturbed. 

This  escapade  of  my  countryman  in  the  House  of  Com 
mons  used  to  amuse  a  hospitable  friend  of  mine  in  town 
beyond  measure,  the  more  so  from  the  fact  of  his  coming 
from  his  own  and  my  part  of  Scotland.  One  day,  after  din 
ner,  I  was  asked  by  my  friend  to  tell  the  story,  and  finding 
myself  sitting  next  to  Mr.  William  Holmes,  M.  P.,  the  Con 
servative  "  whip,"  I  remarked  that  Mr.  Holmes  would  cor 
rect  me  if  I  went  wrong.  The  Hon.  gentleman  was  kind 
enough  afterward  to  say  that  I  had  told  it  right  well. 

Mr.  Holmes  then  proceeded  in  a  vein  of  dry  humor  to 
tell  us,  that  such  an  occurrence  had  never  before  happened 
in  the  House  of  Commons,  and  that  the  "  actor  "  could  only 
be  a  Scotchman.  "  Ah,  you  Scotchmen  do  like  to  get 
things  chape,  but  it  is  the  first  time  there  was  ever  soch  a 
chape  sate  had  in  St.  Staverfs.  The  fact  is,  your  friend  and 
countryman  intended  to  keep  his  sate  during  the  rest  of  the 
session,  and  being  a  clever  fellow  had  discovered  that  all  he 
had  to  do  to  avoid  detection  was  to  slip  out  of  the  House  a 
few  minutes  before  a  division,  and  when  that  was  over  to 
come  back  to  his  place.  I  told  Lord  Granville  Somerset 
that  he  had  made  a  mistake  in  sending  the  sergeant-at-arms 
to  look  after  your  friend,  as  we  were  in  desperate  want  of 
some  more  Scotchmen  on  our  side  of  the  House."  I  recol- 


162  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

lect  on  this  occasion  amusing  Mr.  Holmes  by  telling  him  of 
a  young  friend  of  mine  going  home  to  his  father  and  mother 
and  in  apparent  ecstasy  exclaiming  that  Mr.  Holmes  was 
certainly  the  nicest  man  in  England.  "  He  is  indeed,"  said 
the  youngster.  "Why  do  you  say  so?"  asked  his  father. 
<:  Why,  this  very  afternoon  I  was  going  down  Parliament- 
street  to  Westminster,  when  I  saw  Mr.  Holmes  coming  tow 
ard  me  with  the  Duke  of  Wellington  hanging  on  his  arm. 
Of  course,  papa,  I  looked  down,  not  wishing  Mr.  Holmes  to 
see  me  while  he  was  walking  with  so  great  a  man  ;  but  what 
do  you  think  ?  he  put  his  hand  on  my  shoulder  in  passing, 
and  said :  '  Well,  youngster,  all  well  at  home  ? '  Fancy 
how  kind  that  was  when  -walking  with  the  Duke  of  Welling 
ton.  I  do  say  Mr.  Holmes  is  the  nicest  man  in  England." 
It  would  be  well  if  this  youth's  estimate  of  Mr.  Holmes's 
bonhommie  were  more  generally  appreciated  and  followed. 
A  kind  word  spoken  at  the  right  moment  often  forms  an 
important  element  in  the  success  of  the  noble,  the  politician, 
the  lawyer,  the  divine,  the  banker,  and  the  merchant. 

71.  " IPs  no'  worth  while  rinnen  {running)  the  risk" 

I  recollect  my  father  doubling  the  beauty  of  a  very  at 
tractive  girl — a  daughter  of  a  toll-gate  keeper  in  the  South 
of  Scotland — by  a  very  simple  process  :  Madame  Rachel  in 
her  labors  to  render  the  fair  sex  "  beautiful  forever,"  was 
never  half  so  successful. 

We  were  travelling  from  home  to  Edinburgh,  a  distance 
of  a  hundred  and  twenty  miles,  by  easy  stages ;  and  on 
stopping  at  one  of  the  gates  the  girl  came  out  of  the  house 
to  receive  the  shilling.  She  had  one  of  the  dirtiest  faces 
I  ever  beheld.  She  extended  her  hand  for  the  money. 
"  Oh  no,  my  girl,"  said  my  father.  "  Coachman,  drive  on." 
"  You've  no  payt  (paid)  me,  sir."  The  coachman  continued 
to  drive  on;  the  girl  racing  alongside  the  carriage  bawling 


THE   TOLL-KEEPER'S  DAUGHTER.  163 

at  the  top  of  her  voice :  "  Stap,  cotchman,  the  laird  has 
no*  payt  me."  As  tears  now  rolled  down  the  begrimed 
beauty's  cheeks,  my  father,  no  doubt  recalling  the  lines  of 
the  poet — 

What  heart  but  melts,  their  force  is  all  divine — 

desired  the  coachman  to  draw  up.  When  the  breathless 
damsel]  had  partially  recovered  the  use  of  her  respiratory 
organs,  and  from  her  alarm,  my  father  addressed  her  thus  : 
"  Do  you  not  know  that  by  the  Act  of  Parliament  any  girl 
coming  to  ask  for  the  toll  with  a  dirty  face,  we  are  not 
obliged  to  pay  her  ? — that  is  the  reason  I  desired  the  coach 
man  to  drive  on."  "  Dear  me,  sir,  I  never  Jcent  (knew)  that 
afore,  and  ma  faither  never  tellt  me  I  assure  you,  sir." 
"  How  very  wrong  of  your  father !  I  must  speak  to  him 
very  seriously  on  the  subject,  as  I  find  you  are  not  so  much 
to  blame."  "  JVa,  sir,  itfs  no*  ma  faut  (my  fault)."  Her 
alarm  was  rapidly  returning  that  the  toll  was  not  to  be  paid. 
"  Well,"  said  my  father, "  there  is  a  shilling  for  the  toll,  and 
there  is  a  shilling  for  yourself  to  buy  soap  with."  "  Oh 
sir,  ma  mither  has  got  plenty  o'  sape,  I'll  no  taJc  that  shil 
ling,  sir."  "  Well  then,  keep  the  shilling  for  yourself,  and 
tell  your  mother  to  give  you  a  piece  of  soap  immediately." 
"  I'm  meikle  (much)  obleeged  to  you,  sir ;  and  for  telling  me 
aboot  the  Act  o'  Parliament,  I'm  truly  thankfu."  About  a 
fortnight  afterward  on  our  return  from  Edinburgh,  out  came 
the  girl  to  receive  the  toll,  and  in  regard  to  her  face  and  its 
cleanliness  no  imperfection  or  omission  could  be  traced, 
and  our  arrival  was  quite  unexpected.  "  Well,"  said  my 
father,  "  how  do  you  do  ?  "  "  Vera  weel,  thank  you,  sir,  for 
spiering  (asking)."  "  I  cannot  keep  you  out  of  the  shil 
ling  to-day."  "  JVa,  na,  sir,"  with  a  dangerously  bewitch 
ing  smile,  "  I  hae  ta'en  (taken)  guid  care  o'  that.  I  assure 
you,  sir,  ye  hadna  driven  awa  five  meenuis  when  I  weeshea 
ma  face,  but  I  shoud  tell  you,  sir,  that  ma  faither  says, 


164  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

that  hadna  yer  honor  been  a  magistratt  he  woud  hae 
dooted  aboot  the  Act  o'  Parliament,  but  he  thocht  it  as  weel 
no  to  be  rinnen  ony  risk,  and  that  I  had  better  weesh  ma 
face  every  morn  (morning)."  My  father  alleged,  from  not 
seeing  either  the  toll-house  keeper  or  his  wife  on  this  occa 
sion,  that  the  question  of  the  ablutions  of  their  daughter 
was  a  somewhat  delicate  affair ;  in  fact,  that  their  amour 
propre  had  been  wounded,  and  that  in  conseqnence  they. 
"  were  not  at  home."  This  only  encouraged  my  father  the 
more  in  his  determination  to  send  in  the  wedge  still  deeper, 
by  continuing  the  tete-d-tete.  "  You  seem,  my  girl,  although 
you  have  washed  your  face,  to  have  forgotten  to  comb  your 
hair."  "  Weel,  sir,  ye'll  excuse  me,  but  ye  never  said  a 
word  to  me  about  reddin  ma  heed  (combing  my  hair)." 
"  It  is  quite  true,  I  did  not,  for  I  forgot  whether  combing 
the  hair  as  w^ell  as  washing  the  face  is  mentioned  in  the  Act 
of  Parliament,  and  if  it  is  not,  it  must  be  inserted  without 
delay ;  for  what  is  the  use  of  a  clean  face  if  there  is  an 
untidy  head  of  hair  ?  "  "  Weel,  sir,  as  I  hae  noo  (have  now) 
got  into  the  habit  of  weeshing  mysel,  I'll  soon  get  into  the 
icey  (way)  o'  reddin  ma  heed"  "  Every  morning,"  said 
my  father.  "  O,  ay,  sir,  every  mornin  after  I  iceesh  ma 
face,  and  do  ye  ken  (know)  sir,  I  begin  to  like  it." 

A  lady  who  was  in  the  carriage  said,  "  I  am  sure  you 
are  a  very  good  girl,  and  go  to  church  regularly."  "I  never, 
ma  leddy,  miss  ganging  to  the  kirk."  "  Well,  you  will 
find,  in  reading  your  Bible,  that  godliness  and  cleanliness 
go  hand  in  hand.1  Good-by." 

I  shortly  afterward  left  Scotland  to  be  a  long  absentee ; 
but  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  the  domestic  or  household  reform 
intended  by  my  father  in  his  recommendation  of  a  more 
general  use  of  soap  and  water,  is  largely  extended  in  con- 

1  It  is  often  said  that  a  proverb  to  this  effect  is  to  be  found  in  the 
Bible,  but  the  statement  is  not  correct.  It  may  be  found  in  a  sermon  of 
John  Wesley  on  dress. 


A   SOMEWHAT   EXTENSIVE  VIEW.  1(35 

sequence  of  his  colloquy  with  the  toll-keeper's  daughter ; 
and  I  think  it  reasonable  to  expect  that  such  may  be  the 
•  case,  especially  as  his  pupil  at  the  end  of  the  first  fortnight 
had  said,  "  I  begin  to  like  it." 

72.  A  Somewhat  Extensive  View. 

My  late  esteemed  friend,  Mr.  John  Mackie,  M.  P.  for 
Kirkcudbrightshire,  used  to  describe  an  extensive  view 
which  one  of  a  friend's  hills  commanded.  This  he  never 
failed  to  call  to  the  attention  of  his  English  visitors  when 
the  weather  was  clear.  Willy,  the  shepherd,  was  always 
the  guide  on  such  occasions,  as  he  knew  precisely  the 
weather  that  would  suit. 

One  forenoon  an  English  friend  was  placed  under  Willy's 
charge  to  mount  the  hill,  in  order  to  enjoy  the  glorious 
view.  "  I  am  told,  shepherd,  you  are  going  to  show  me  a 
wonderful  view."  "  That's  quite  true,  sir." 

"  What  shall  I  see  ?"  "  Weel,  ye'll  see  a  feck  (many) 
o'  kingdoms,  the  best  part  o'  sax,  sir."  "  What  the  deuce 
do  you  mean,  shepherd  ?  "  "  Weel,  sir,  I  mean  what  I  say." 
"  But  tell  me  all  about  it,"  "  I'll  tell  ye  naething  mair, 
sir,  until  we're  at  the  tap  o'  the  hill."  The  top  reached, 
Willy  found  every  thing  he  could  desire  in  regard  to  a  clear 
atmosphere.  "  Noo,  sir,  I  hope  you've  got  guid  een  f  " 
"  Oh,  my  eyes  are  excellent."  "  Then  that's  a?  recht  (right), 
sir.  Noo,  div  ye  see  yon  hills  awa '  yonder  ?  "  "  Yes,  I 
do."  "  Weel,  sir,  those  are  the  Hills  o'  Cumberland,  and 
Cumberland's  in  the  kingdom  o'  England ;  that's  ae  king 
dom.  JVbo,  sir,  please  keep  coont.  Then,  sir,  I  must  noo 
trouble  you  to  look  ower  (over)  yonder.  Div  ye  see  what 
I  mean  ?  "  "  Yes,  I  do."  "  That's  «'  recht.  That's  the  Isle 
o'  Man,  and  that  was  a  kingdom  and  a  sovereignty  in  the 
families  o'  the  Earls  of  Derby  and  the  Dukes  o'  Athol 
frae  the  days  o'  King  David  o'  Scotland,  if  ye  ken  ony  tiling 


166  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

o'  Scotch  history."  "You  are  quite  right,  shepherd." 
"  Quite  recht,  div  ye  say ;  I  woudna  hae  brocht  ye  here,  sir, 
if  I  WKS  to  be  wrang.  Weel,  that's  two,  kingdoms.  Be 
sure,  sir,  to  keep  coont.  JVbo,  turn  awee  dboot.  Div  ye 
see  yon  land  yonder  ?  It's  a  bit  farder,  but  never  mind 
that,  sae  lang  as  you  see  it."  "  I  see  it  distinctly."  "  Wed, 
that's  a'  I  care  dboot.  Noo,  sir,  keep  coont,  for  that's  Ire 
land,  and  maJcs  three  kingdoms ;  but  there's  nae  trouble 
aboot  the  niest  (next)  for  ye're  stannen  ortt — I  mean  Scote- 
land.  Weel,  that  maks  four  kingdoms ;  div  ye  admit  that, 
sir  ?  "  "  Yes,  that  makes  four,  and  you  have  two  more  to 
show  me."  "  That's  true,  sir,  but  don't  be  in  sic  (such)  a 
hurry.  Wed,  sir,  just  look  up  aboon  (above)  yer  heed,  and 
this  is  by  far  the  best  of  «'  the  kingdoms ;  that,  sir,  aboon 
is  Heeven.  That's  five ;  and  the  saxth  kingdom  is  that  doon 
below  yer  feet,  to  which,  sir,  I  hope  you'll  never  gang' 
but  that's  a  point  on  which  I  cannot  speak  with  ony 
certainty." 


73.   Tom  CampbeWs  Authors?^  of  the  "  Pleasures  of 
Hope  "  called  into  Question. 

Campbell  had  promised  to  dine  with  my  brother  and 
myself,  to  meet  a  party  of  friends,  and  in  the  afternoon 
of  the  same  day  our  much  esteemed  friend,  the  late  Mr. 
Hugh  Kennedy,  of  Cultra,  in  the  county  of  Down,  called 
upon  us  on  his  way  through  town  from  the  Continent  to 
his  seat  in  Ireland.  We  asked  him  to  dine  with  us,  which 
he  feared  he  could  not  do,  but  on  hearing  that  he  would 
meet  the  author  of  the  *  Pleasures  of  Hope,'  he  exclaimed, 
"  I  would  wait  in  London  a  month  of  Sundays  to  dine  with 
Tarn  Campbell"  (when  the  Laird  of  Cultra  became  emphatic 
he  had  the  richest  Irish  brogue),  "for  Campbell  was  my 
earliest  and  best  college  friend  at  Glasgow,  in  fact,  my 
college  tutor,  and  I  have  not  seen  him  for  thirty  years. 


CAMPBELL'S  AUTHORSHIP   QUESTIONED.  167 

Pray,  don't  tell  him,  if  I  arrive  late,  whom  he  is  to  see." 
This  was  promised,  but  Kennedy  arrived  first.  On  the 
poet's  name  being  announced,  his  old  friend  advanced  to 
meet  him.  "  Tarn,  how  are  you  ?  "  "  Ay,  ay,"  exclaimed 
the  poet,  throwing  himself  into  a  tragic  attitude,  his  dark 
eyes  sparkling  brilliantly,  "I  know  that  voice;  don't  tell 
me  who  you  are."  By  this  time,  as  they  were  holding 
each  other  by  both  hands,  the  scene  created  much  interest, 
and  we  had  closed  round  the  two  long-absent  friends, 
Campbell  still  exclaiming,  "  Don't  tell  me  who  you  are,  but 
ay,  ay,  I  know  your  voice."  " Gar,  Tarn"  said  Kennedy, 
"  you  should  know  it,  and  right  well  too."  He  then  dropped 
his  hands,  and  inspected  his  friend  minutely  from  head  to 
foot.  "Just  speak  once  more,"  asked  the  poet.  "I'll 
spake  to  you,  Tarn,  a  dale  aftner  than  that  before  the 
avening^s  out."  "  Oh,  man,"  responded  the  bard  of  "Hope," 
"  I  now  find  old  age,  and  its  too  frequent  companion,  loss 
of  memory,  have  arrived,  for  I  cannot  recognize  the  man, 
although  I  know  the  voice,  as  if  it  were  only  yesterday.  I 
must  give  it  up."  "  Well,  now,  Tarn  Campbell,  did  you 
ever  hear  of  Glasgow  College  ?  "  "  Good  heavens !  "  throw 
ing  himself  into  his  friend's  arms,  "Hugh  Kennedy,  my 
dear,  dear  Hugh  " — the  tears  rolling  down  his  cheeks ;  the 
ever-joyous  Cultra,  and  the  spectators,  too,  could  with  diffi 
culty  refrain  from  following  the  catching  example. 

They  sat  opposite  each  other  at  dinner,  and  were  in 
truth  what  we  are  not  always,  although  fond  of  adopting 
the  expression  of  the  French,  "  Les  vis-a-vis  sont  des  amis." 
After  dinner,  Mr.  Kennedy  told  us  he  had  a  bumper  toast 
to  give,  but  would  reccommend  a  preliminary  one  to  be  dis 
cussed,  as  he  had  a  good  deal  to  say,  and  some  of  it  rather 
of  a  dry,  and  all  of  it  of  a  personal  nature.  His  advice 
being  followed,  he  again  rose  and  told  us  that  it  was  some 
what  painful  for  him  to  make  the  statement  he  was  about 
to  enter  on,  as  it  was  nothing  more  nor  less  than  to  announce 


168  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

to  the  company  that  "  Tain  Campbell,"  for  more  than  the 
third  of  a  century,  had  been  claiming  for  himself  the  entire 
authorship  of  the  '  Pleasures  of  Hope.'  Campbell  was  now 
in  a  roar  of  laughter,  while  we  were  grave  as  judges.  "  He 
very  well  knows  that  I  am  the  rale  author  of  the  '  Pleasures 
of  Hope.'  "  "  Quite  true,"  exclaimed  Campbell.  "  Now, 
gentlemen,  hear  that,  and  hear  this  Tarn  Campbell,  a  self- 
confessed  plagiarist  before  you,  and  who,  but  for  this  blot 
on  his  moral  and  literary  escutcheon,  was  always  a  wonder 
fully  veracious  sort  of  a  fellow — the  more  the  pozzle  to  me 
that  he  should  have  run  the  risk  of  shipwrecking  himself  as 
he  has  done  in  this  matter,  when  I  was  just  the  man  with 
whom  he  could  have  made  the  asiest  imaginable  terms. 
Tarn,  I  say — and  as  old  Horace  said  before  me,  although  I 
forget  the  original — *  Out  on  ye  imitators,  a  servile  herd ! ' 
You  know  that  I  am  the  fotis  et  origo  of  the  '  Pleasures 
of  Hope.' "  "  You  are,  indeed,  Kennedy,"  said  Campbell. 
"  Then,  I  ask  you,  Tarn,  why  have  you  kept  the  fact  so 
long  from  the  world  ?  "  "  It  was  very  wrong,  I  confess ; 
but  wait,  Hugh,  for  the  next  edition."  "  I  won't,  indade, 
I  shall  expose  you  now,"  c  Magna  est  veritas,  et  praevalebit.' 
There's  a  bit  of  Glasgow  College  Latin  for  you."  Our  curi 
osity  having  now  reached  fever-heat,  we  called  upon  Ken 
nedy  to  come  to  our  relief,  and  explain.  "  Well,  gentle 
men,  my  father  thought  I  should  be  nothing  the  worse  of  a 
little  more  learning — and  I  dare  say  he  was  about  right ; 
and  he  sent  me  to  Glasgow  University,  and  there  Tain 
Campbell  fortunately  became  acquainted  with  Hugh  Ken 
nedy,  and  Hugh  Kennedy  fortunately  became  acquainted 
with  Tarn  Campbell.  My  father  said  to  me  before  he 
started  me  aff^  l  Now,  Hugh,  my  good  fellow,  while  you 
are  at  college  you  shall  not  want  for  money ' — l  Thank 
you,  father,'  said  I — c  nor  shall  you  want  for  books.'  The 
sequel  was  quite  true.  I  looked  after  the  money  myself, 
and  I  let  the  books  look  after  themselves."  "  I'll  vouch  for 


CAMPBELL'S  AUTHORSHIP   QUESTIONED.  169 

the  truth  of  that,"  said  the  poet.  "  Thank  you,  Tarn,  for 
the  remark.  My  father  wrote  to  his  London  publishers, 
telling  them,  no  doubt,  that  he  had  a  very  sharp  son  at 
Glasgow  University,  and  that  every  month  they  were  to 
send  him  a  box  with  all  the  newest  publications.  My 
friend  apposite  there  fraquently  breakfasted  with  me,  and 
one  morning  he  woke  me  out  of  a  deep  slape,  having  been 
up  all  night,  and  a  bit  of  the  morning  too,  at  a  ball.  I 
said,  '  Tarn,  just  see,  like  a  good  fellow,  what's  in  the  Lon 
don  box,  and  let  me  go  on  with  my  rest.'  I  got  up  in 
about  two  hours,  and  instead  of  finding  Tarn  devouring 
his  breakfast,  he  was  devouring  Rogers's  '  Pleasures  of 
Memory,'  which  came  out  of  the  box,  and  with  which  he 
seemed  mightily  delighted.  '  Ah,  Hugh,'  said  he,  '  you 
have  given  me  a  great  trate,  and  we  shall  now  write  the 
'  Pleasures  of  Hope.'  ;  With  all  my  heart,'  said  I,  and  I 
just  added, £  Tarn,  as  you  have  read  the  one  book,  you  may 
as  well  write  the  other.'  Now,  gentlemen,  there  is  my 
simple  tale,  and  I  must  wait,  I  presume,  for  the  next  edi 
tion,  when  you  and  the  public  will  be  able  tojodge  correct 
ly  of  my  claim  to  the  authorship  of  the  'Pleasures  of 
Hope.'  "  This  was  followed  by  a  shout  of  "  Clearly  estab 
lished."  "  Thank  you,  gentlemen,  moch  for  listening  so  pa 
tiently  to  the  recital  of  my  claims  to  a  great  literary  dis 
tinction,  and  for  the  verdict  you  have  now  given  in  my 
favor ;  but  as  I  have  no  particular  ill-will  against  the  man, 
will  you  join  me  in  drinking  aff  this  bumper  to  his  health, 
although  it  is  more  than  he  deserves  ?  " 

Campbell,  in  returning  thanks,  acknowledged  the  cor 
rectness  of  the  statement ;  but  his  friend  Kennedy  in  urg 
ing  his  own  claims  to  the  authorship  of  the  '  Pleasures  of 
Hope,'  with  which  the  public  had  been  so  long  deluded 
(April,  1799),  had  entirely  overlooked  the  name  of  one 
whose  claims  must  take  priority  :  "That  name  was  '  Sam 
Rogers,'  for  had  there  not  been  the  '  Pleasures  of  Memory,' 
8 


170  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

in  Kennedy's  box,  there  might  never  have  been  the 
*  Pleasures  of  Hope  ; '  therefore  I  beg  to  propose  the  health 
of  Sam  Rogers."  It  is  almost  needless  to  add  that  the 
toast  was  received  with  all  due  honors. 

74.  M.  Alexandre. 

A  friend  lately  applied  to  one  of  his  guests,  either 
kindly  or  satirically,  the  line  nee  tecum  possum  vivere  nee 
sine  te. 

This  reminded  me  of  having  been  in  a  provincial  town 
in  France  some  forty  years  ago,  and  very  anxious  to  get  a 
cup  of  tea.  But  I  found  it  a  difficult  matter,  for  I  was 
compelled  to  resort  to  a  chemist's  shop  for  it,  so  little  was 
tea  used  at  that  period  in  "France.  My  friend's  latinity 
brought  up  an  occurrence  at  Paris  which  he  used  to  relate 
admirably,  and  which  has  caused  me  much  merriment. 
Monsieur  Alexandre,  a  distinguished  cook  at  Paris,  who 
was,  I  believe,  at  one  time  chief-de-cuisine  to  the  late  Lord 
Chesterfield,  feeling  unwell,  called  upon  an  English  phy 
sician  resident  in  the  French  capital,  to  consult  him.  Our 
countryman  found  not  much  the  matter  with  the  dis 
tinguished  professor  of  the  culinary  art.  However,  he 
prescribed,  and  told  his  patient  to  follow  up  the  prescrip 
tion  in  about  two  hours  by  taking  some  tea  and  keeping 
himself  quiet,  adding  that  he  would  call  to  see  him  next 
day.  Monsieur  Alexandre  on  reaching  home  sent  for  half  a 
pound  of  tea,  and  resolved  to  prepare  it  himself.  He  put 
the  whole  of  the  tea  into  a  stew-pan  with  a  small  quantity 
of  water,  and  allowed  it  to  simmer  for  an  hour,  when  the 
invalid  considered  it  must  be  sufficiently  cooked.  Alex 
andre  then  commenced  to  eat,  not  to  drink,  his  Chinese 
repast,  and  got  as  much  down  his  throat  as  he  could. 
Next  day  the  doctor  called.  u  Well,  monsieur,  did  you 
take  your  medicine  ?  "  "  Yase,  docteur."  "  And  did  you 


THE   LAIRD   IN   SEARCH   OF   A   WIFE.  171 

take  your  tea  ?  "  "  Yase,  docteur,  but  I  found  de  tea  veri, 
veri  toff"  "  Tough  ?  "  said  the  doctor.  "  Oh  yase,  doc 
teur,  veri  toff,  and  I  did  cook  it  my  ownself,  I  assure  you, 
docteur,  and  I  have  enoff  of  it  to  last  me  one  month." 
"  Pray  let  me  see  it,"  said  the  doctor.  The  stew-pan  was 
produced,  and  sure  enough  poor  Alexandre  astonished  the 
doctor  by  showing  him  how  much  he  had  swallowed. 
"  Well,"  said  the  doctor,  "  I  may  ask  you  to  cook  for  me  a 
vol  au  vent,  a  fricandeau,  or  a  Charlotte  russe,  but  certainly 
I  shall  go  elsewhere  for  a  cup  of  tea." 

75.   The  Laird  in  search  of  a  Wife. 

When  I  was  a  boy,  the  Laird  of consulted  my 

lather  on  the  subject  of  matrimony,  informing  him  that  he 
was  awfy?  anxious  to  get  married.  My  father  promised  to 
render  him  his  best  assistance  in  what  he  described  to  the 
laird  as  the  most  important  and  delicate  matter  in  life.  Ad 
dressing  my  father  in  an  unusually  animated  manner,  the 
laird  said :  "I  Jcen'dfu?  weel1  what  you  would  say  to  me,  for 
I  always  thocht  it  was  no  common  affair  marrying,  and  I 
candidly  tell  you,  ma  guid  sir,  I  hae  been  too  blate*  to 
speak  to  you  on  the  matter,  but  I  at  last  made  up  my  mind 
to  do  so.  In  fact,  I  had  a  bit  o'  a  dream  the  ither  nicht, 
and  something  tellt  me  in  the  dream  that  there  was  nae 
gentleman  in  ower  neeborhood  to  come  up  to  yersel  to  talk 
ower  sic  an  affair  wi  ;  for  I  hae  often  said  to  mysel  when  I 
hae  been  listening  to  what  ye  hae  informed  me  o'  from  time 
to  time  aboot  London,  and  the  politics,  and  the  gangings 
on  there  during  the  lang  war,  and  a'  aboot  the  commerce 
o'  the  nation,  and  the  coorts  o'  law,  and  a?  manner  o'  in 
formation,  that  I  hae  been  made  mair  a  man  o',  and  hae 
pickt  up  mair  counsel3  in  dining  at  your  house  than /me  a' 
the  buiks  I  hae  read  sin  I  left  school."  "  Well,  laird,"  said 

1  knew  quite  well.  2  too  modest.  3  information. 


172  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

my  father,  "  would  you  wish  me  to  consult  my  wife,  as  you 
are  a  great  favorite  of  hers,  and  ladies  are  generally  much 
more  useful  in  arranging  such  affairs  than  our  sex  ?  "  "  Oh, 
no,  I  coudna  face  the  leddies  in  the  drawing-room,  if  I 
thocht  they  henrid  what  I  hae  been  talking  to  you  aboot. 
JVb  at  present,  gin  ye1  please."  "Very  well,"  said  my 
father,  "  I  shall  keep  it  strictly  to  myself."  I  must  now 
describe  this  candidate  for  the  honors  of  St.  Benedict,  and 
then  the  modus  operandi  suggested  by  my  father.  He  was 
well  built,  about  five  feet  ten  or  eleven  in  height,  under 
thirty  years  of  age,  with  an  excellent  expression  of  counte 
nance,  awsomely  blate?  good-looking,  in  blooming  health, 
and,  what  stood  at  the  top  of  my  father's  estimate  of  respect 
ability  in  our  then  drouthy 3  part  of  Scotland,  the  laird  was 
very  sober.  He  was  unquestionably  a  Simon  Pure.  It  so 
happened  that  within  a  few  weeks  of  this  interesting  and 
confidential  conversation  between  my  father  and  the  laird, 
the  eyes  of  the  former  were  directed  to  a  quarter  where  he 
considered  he  had  an  immediate  prospect  of  securing  a  prize 
for  the  laird  in  the  matrimonial  lottery.  My  mother  had 
received  a  letter  from  her  aunt  in  London  offering  a  visit. 
In  those  non-railway  days  the  journey  to  Scotland — travel 
ling  with  your  own  horses — was  a  tedious  affair,  and  could 
only  be  made  to  answer  by  a  corresponding  length  of  visit. 
The  old  lady  was  to  be  accompanied  by  a  charming  young 
friend  whom  she  had  educated  and  brought  up,  and  to  whom 
her  late  husband  had  left  a  few  thousand  pounds,  rendering 
her,  in  case  of  her  kind  friend's  death,  quite  independent. 

The  thought  at  once  struck  my  father  that  here  was  a 
most  suitable  wife  for  the  laird,  well  educated,  prudently 
brought  up,  and  with  comfortable  means  in  addition,  for  his 
acres  were  very  moderate  in  extent;  but  he  had  always 
lived  within  his  income,  and  his  sterling  qualities  as  a  man 
more  than  compensated  for  any  pecuniary  shortcoming-?. 

1  if  you.  5  dreadfully  bashful.  3  thirsty. 


THE  LAIRD   IN  SEARCH  OF  A  WIFE.  173 

The  following  Sunday,  after  service,  my  father  beckoned 
to  the  laird,  who  was  at  his  side  in  an  instant.  "You  must 
come  and  dine  with  us  to-day  as  I  have  something  important 
to  tell  you  after  dinner."  The  laird  mounted  his  horse,  and 
returned  with  our  family. 

The  dinner  over,  and  my  father  and  the  laird  being 
alone,  the  former  at  once  opened  the  proposed  treaty  of 
alliance,  telling  him  that  the  very  wife  to  suit  him  would 
be  at  his  house  within  the  next  few  weeks.  The  laird  was 
delighted  at  the  intelligence,  but  assumed  an  air  of  gravity 
and  exclaimed,  "  Noo^  sir,  I  leave  all  to  you  to  manage,  for 
I  must  tell  you  I  am  naething  but  a  cuif1  at  ony  tiling  o' 
this  kind."  "But  now,"  said  my  father,  "you  have  to  put 
your  best  foot  forward — look  up,  instead  of  looking  down ; 
you  must  turn  over  a  new  leaf,  and  have  more  confidence 
in  yourself  among  the  ladies;  otherwise  I  shall  have  a 
difficult  matter  with  you."  All  this  the  laird  promised 
strictly  to  observe.  My  father  made  another  suggestion, 
that  he  should  place  himself  forthwith  in  his  tailor's  hands, 
and  have  some  smart  things  made  without  delay.  "  I  can 
carry  out,"  said  the  laird,  "  this  part  of  your  instructions, 
sir,  vera  easily,  and  if  I  could  onrily  get  ower  ma  blateness 
by  the  time  I  get  ma  new  claes,  it  would  be  a'  recht  •  but 
I  hae  ma  doots."  "  You  must  have  no  doubts."  "  Weel, 
weel,  I  promise  you,  ma  kind  sir,  to  do  ma  best."  Next 
Sunday  while  the  Tcirk  was  skailing?  the  laird  whispers 
into  my  father's  ear :  "  Ony  accoont  o'  the  young  leddy  ?  " 
"  Another  fortnight,  and  she  will  be  here."  "  That's  grand," 
said  the  laird ;  "  but  I  hope,  sir,  you  hae  said  naething  to 
your  own  leddy  aboot  this  ?  "  "  Not  a  word,"  said  my 
father. 

This  was  a  proper  precaution,  as  my  mother  was  much 
too  ingenuous,  and  would  have  opposed  any  thing  border 
ing  on  matrimonial  jobbery.  The  following  Sunday- week 
1  blockhead.  2  the  congregation  separating. 


174  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

the  laird  had  the  young  lady  from  London  in  full  view 
in  the  front  seat  of  the  gallery  belonging  to  our  family 
in  the  old  parish  church,  but  his  blateness  appeared  to  my 
father  to  have  increased  rather  than  diminished,  as  he  had 
hoped  to  find  it,  for  he  could  not  detect  him  casting  a 
single  glance  toward  the  gallery  where  sat  that  fair  occu 
pant  who  had  commanded  for  the  past  few  weeks  so  large 
a  share  of  his  thoughts. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  service,  my  father  resolved  to 
walk  home,  so  that  he  might  have  a  private  conversation 
with  the  aspirant  for  connubial  bliss  on  that  action  of  a 
man's  life  which,  Selden  tells  us,  "  does  least  concern  other 
people,  yet  of  all  actions  of  our  life  is  the  most  meddled 
with  by  other  people."  Then  for  the  discussion  of  such  an 
important  subject  as  that  of  marriage,  and  with  a  novice 
like  the  laird,  he  considered  "  the  better  day,  the  better 
the  deed." 

"  Well,  laird,  wh.it  became  of  your  eyes  to-day  ?  You 
never  once  looked  up  toward  our  gallery."  "  Na,  na,  sir,  I 
dar  na  even  gie  a  keek  1  at  your  party,  that's  the  recht 
doon  fact,  and  I  was  afraid  of  catching  your  ee."  "  Oh," 
said  my  father,  "  I  did  not  wish  you  to  catch  my  eye. 
Now,  laird,  as  I  must  get  home  as  soon  as  possible,  I  wish 
you  to  come  and  lunch  with  me  to-morrow,  and  we  shall 
have  the  course  clear,  as  my  wife  and  her  aunt  are  going  off 
in  the  forenoon  to  make  a  round  of  visits."  "  Please,  sir,  I 
hope  you  hoe  na  yet  spoken  to  the  young  leddy  aboot 
me  ? "  "  Not  a  word.  Now,  laird,  make  yourself  look 
smart."  "  Dinna  fear  that ;  I  hae  got  some  nice  new  claes, 
and  a  pair  o'  new  tap  boots."  "  All  right,"  said  my  father, 
"  and  I  must  now  tell  you  what  to  do.  You  will  find  the 
young  lady  most  probably  at  the  piano,  and  I  shall  be  in 
the  room.  Of  course  you  must  be  very  fond  of  music." 
"  Weel,  I  really  am  fond  o'  music."  "  I  am  glad  to  hear 
1  give  a  glance. 


THE   LAIRD   IN   SEARCH   OF  A  WIFE.  175 

that,  laird,  as  i  music  is  the  food  of  love,'  and  '  kindles 
love.'  "  "  It  is  strange  to  say,  sir,  I  never  knew  that  be 
fore."  "  Then,  after  lunch,  I  shall  go  into  my  room  to 

write  one  or  two  short  letters,  and  leave  Miss and  you 

to  chit-chat  together."  "  O,  sir,  dinna  be  lang  awa,  as  I 
am  swithering  3  dboot  the  conversation  part  o'  it."  "  O, 
nonsense  ;  recollect  '  faint  heart  never  won  a  fair  lady.'  " 
"  That's  quite  true.  It's  like  '  setting  a  stout  heart  to  a 
stae  brae  (stiff  hill).'  " 

Next  day  the  laird  was  punctual,  riding  up  to  the  house 
in  his  new  tap  boots  and  bran  new  claes,  and  was  all  or 
even  more  than  my  father  had  anticipated  in  regard  to  out 
ward  appearance.  His  difficulty  with  the  laird  was  to  in 
duce  him  to  remember  the  value  of  first  impressions,  and 
to  adopt  on  this  occasion  at  least  an  air  of  self-reliance. 
On  being  announced,  my  father  saw  that  his  lesson  had 
been  partially  learned,  but  not  to  the  extent  he  could  have 
desired.  However,  this  portion  of  the  educational  test  was 
over ;  the  laird  had  been  introduced ;  and  my  father  re 
marked  to  him,  "  I  know  you  like  music."  He  had  just 
made  the  observation  when  to  his  horror  he  discovered  he 
had  omitted  to  give  the  laird  a  strong  caution  on  one  essen 
tial  point  to  which  he  was  cruelly  addicted  in  the  drawing- 
room,  that  of  twirling  his  thumbs  round  at  an  immensely 
rapid  rate. 

This  made  my  father  uneasy,  so  he  at  once  applied  the 

break  by  asking  Miss kindly  to  play  and  sing  to  them 

till  lunch  was  announced,  as  Mr. was  peculiarly  fond 

of  music.  What  the  laird's  thoughts  were  at  this  moment 
after  so  marked  an  encomium  on  his  musical  tastes  never, 
I  believe,  was  made  known,  but  my  father  felt  relieved 
when  luncheon  came  at  last.  The  lunch  being  over,  my 
father  retired  to  finish  his  correspondence,  or,  more  strictly 
speaking,  to  give  time  for  the  laird  to  make  his  first  im- 
1  doubting. 


176*  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

pressions.  It  had  been  arranged  that  my  father's  absence 
should  not  extend  beyond  twenty  minutes,  and  when  that 
elapsed,  he  returned  to  the  drawing-room,  where,  to  his 
infinite  surprise,  he  found  the  laird  alone.  "  Where  is  Miss 

?  "     "  O,"  said  the  laird,  "  she  has  been  aica  a  lang 

time."  "  What  do  you  call  a  long  time  ?  "  "  Wecl,  for 
guid  fifteen  meenuts"  "  What  the  deuce,"  said  my  father, 
"  does  this  mean  ?  I  know  you  could  have  said  nothing 
that  was  rude."  "  Dear  me,  no,  sir."  "  Tell  me  exactly 
what  you  said."  "  Weel,  you  know,  I  swithered,  as  I  told 
you,  about  your  leaving  the  room,  as  I  am  a  bad  hand  at 
talking."  "  Now  do  go  on,  as  I  am  quite  impatient  to  hear 
what  passed."  "  Weel,  then,  sir,  you  were  scarcely  oot  o' 

the  door,  when  I  just  said,  *  Miss .  you  have  come  from 

London  ceety  / '  and  she  said,  '  Not  from  London  ceety,  but 
from  London.'  I  wish  to  be  quite  correct."  "  What  next  ?  " 
"  Weel,  then  I  said,  '  London  is  a  large  ceety  • '  and  she 
said  it  was.  The  niest l  thing  was,  '  It's  a  lang  journey 

frae  London  to  this,  isn't  it,  Miss ? '     '  Yes,'  she  said, 

*  a  very  long  journey.'     4  Please,  Miss ,'  for  I  Jceepit  up 

the  talk  pretty  weel  as  far  as  this,  '  tell  me  hoo  lang  the 
old  leddy  and  yoursel  were  on  the  journey  ? '  And  I  think 
she  said,  either  a  fortnight  or  three  weeks."  "  Well,"  said 
my  father,  "  there  was  nothing  wrong  or  that  could  give 
offence  in  all  this."  "  I  then  lookit  at  the  door,  and  I 
would  hae  gien 3  two,  o'  the  best  sheep  I  hae,  if  at  that 
moment  ye  had  come  into  the  room,  for  it  is  as  true  as  death, 
I  did  na  ken  what  to  say  then."  "  Did  you  remain  silent  ?  " 
"  Na,  I  just  askit  anither  bit  o'  a  question."  "  What  was 

that?"     "  I  said,  *  Miss ,  aiblins 3  ye  can  tell  me  the 

price  o'  cuddochs  in  London  ?  "  "  What ! "  exclaimed  my 
father.  "  Good  gracious,  did  you  ask  her  the  price  of  cud 
dochs  in  London  ?  "  "  Yes,  I  did  that ;  I  thocht  there  was 
nae  harm."  At  this  moment  my  father  saw  shipwreck 
1  next.  *  have  given.  8  perhaps. 


THE   LAIRD   IN  SEARCH  OF  A  WIFE.  177 

ahead  to  his  hopes ;  he  therefore  quietly  asked  the  laird 
what  she  said  in  reply.  "  Why,  she  repeated  my  word 
twice — '  cuddock,  cuddock  ! '  she  couldna  get  the  word 
weel  oot,  and  I  just  helpit  her,  and  said,  '  Cuddoch,  Miss 

.'  She  then  glowered1  at  me,  got  off  her  chair  as  if 

she  was  fleyed*  o'  me,  gied*  a  bit  o'  a  jump  and  a  sort 
o'  a  skip,  and  clean  oot  o'  the  room  she  went ;  that's  the 
whole  trowth*  I  can  assure  you,  sir." 

Young  ladies,  in  mercy  to  the  laird,  must  not  ask  me  if 
the  negotiations  which  my  father  commenced,  and  which 
he  thought  he  had  begun  so  auspiciously,  were  ever  re 
sumed,  otherwise  I  shall  be  obliged  to  tell  them  frankly 
they  were  not,  and  to  remind  them  that  with  this  laird,  as 
with  others,  the  course  of  true  love  did  not  run  quite  smooth. 
In  this  instance,  the  poor  laird's  path  became  thoroughly 
blocked  up  by  the  cuddochs.  In  justice  to  my  part  of 
Scotland,  I  must  inform  you  that,  although  the  young  lady 
declined  to  travel  on  any  road  where  "  cuddochs  "  were  to 
be  met  with,  she  discovered  one  where  they  were  unknown, 
and  there  met  with  a  clerical  swain,  whose  happiness  she  ce 
mented  with  her  own,  and  further  augmented  it  by  a  large 
and  charming  family. 

The  laird,  although  he  promised  faithfully  to  my  father — 
and  no  doubt  acted  up  to  his  promise — to  renounce  for 
the  future  ever  mentioning  in  the  drawing-room  cuddochs, 
especially  if  young  ladies  were  present,  died  a  bachelor  in 
1850. 

I  should  add,  by  way  of  explanation,  that  a  cuddoch  is 
a  well-known  term  in  Galloway  for  young  cattle  from  their 
twelfth  to  their  twenty- fourth  month.  They  are  "  calves  " 
till  six,  "  stirks  "  till  twelve  months,  and  then  "  cuddochs  " 
till  they  become  two-year-olds. 

1  stared  at  me.  2  frightened.  3  gave.  4  truth. 


178  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

76.   The  Late  King  of  Hanover. 

When  lie  had  a  seat  among  the  peers,  no  member  of  the 
House  was  more  obliging  in  regard  to  the  privilege  of 
franking  than  the  late  Duke  of  Cumberland. 

The  late  Mr.  William  Gibson,  formerly  of  Charleston, 
South  Carolina,  a  native  of  Ayrshire,  who,  for  several  years 
toward  the  close  of  life,  resided  in  London,  was  in  the  habit, 
during  the  sitting  of  Parliament,  of  daily  spending  some 
hours  in  the  committee-rooms.  He  was  a  tall  and  impos 
ing-looking  old  gentleman  (a  septuagenarian),  and  had 
made  an  extensive  parliamentary  acquaintance.  Among 
others  was  the  Duke  of  Cumberland,  who  always  treated 
him  very  courteously.  Mr.  Gibson  had  an  aged  relation  in 
Scotland  to  whom  he  frequently  wrote;  and  the  Duke, 
when  he  met  my  friend,  usually  addressed  him,  "  Well, 
Gibson,  how  do  you  do  ?  "  A  profound  bow,  "  I  hope  I  see 
your  Royal  Highness  well  ?  "  "  Am  I  to  give  you  a  frank 
to-day  for  Mrs.  McTurk,  of  Polquhorter,  New  Cumnock, 
Ayrshire  ?  "  Another  bow,  one  of  acquiescence,  followed, 
and  His  Royal  Highness  was  at  the  table  writing  the  frank, 
in  handing  which  to  the  old  gentleman,  he  generally  re 
peated,  "  Mrs.  McTurk,  of  Polquhorter,  New  Cumnock,  Ayr 
shire — rather  a  difficult  address  for  some  of  us  here ;  but 
you  see  I  never  forget  it,  do  I,  Gibson  ?  " 

77.    Mr.  Samuel  Anderson. 

There  could  not  be  a  more  joyous,  hospitable  man,  than 
my  late  friend  and  countryman,  "  Sam  Anderson,"  as  he 
was  called  in  "  Modern  Athens."  The  last  twenty  years 
of  his  life  were  spent  in  London,  where  he  held  the  ap 
pointment  of  Registrar  of  Affidavits  in  the  Court  of  Chan 
cery.  He  possessed  a  rich  vein  of  humor,  and  his  powers 
were  somewhat  remarkable  as  an  after-dinner  improvisa- 


MR.   SAMUEL  ANDERSON.  1*79 

tore,  one  of  those  whom  the  French  would  describe,  gui 
font  des  vers  sur  le  champ.  Probably  he  approached 
nearer  Theodore  Hook  in  this  respect  than  any  man  of  his 
period.  He  could  also  relate  a  laughable  occurrence  ad 
mirably,  and  I  recollect  an  amusing  one  that  had  taken 
place,  and  which  he  gave  us  at  his  own  table  in  his  hap 
piest  manner  a  few  hours  afterward.  Among  the  party 
whom  he  delighted  with  the  recital  and  imitation,  were 
Sir  Augustus  D'Este,  Mr.  Ferguson,  of  Raith,  M.  P.,  Mr. 
Hope-Vere,  of  Craigie,  Mr.  McCulloch,  the  political  econo 
mist,  Mr.  James  Stuart,  of  Dunearn,  my  father,  and  myself. 
It  was  a  dies  non  in  the  Registrar's  office,  and  he  had 
resolved  to  get  rid  of  cobwebs  in  the  room  in  which  his 
friends  were  to  dine,  by  absenting  himself.  He  left  his 
domicile  soon  after  breakfast  to  have  a  walk,  out  and  home, 
over  Highgate  Hill,  and  had  only  reached  Euston  Square, 
when  it  began  to  rain  heavily.  He  at  once  said  to  himself, 
"  As  I  have  lost  my  twenty  miles'  walk,  I  shall  have  a 
forty  miles'  ride  instead,  for  the  inner  man  must  be  shaken 
up,  and  this  can  be  done  for  five  shillings."  In  those  days 
the  omnibus,  ran  to  and  from  Paddington  Green  to  Bar 
tholomew  Lane,  Bank  of  England.  He  seated  himself  in 
his  first  omnibus,  on  its  way  to  the  city,  and  found  himself 
in  some  twenty-five  minutes  at  the  Bank;  he  paid  his  six 
pence,  and  told  the  conductor  he  would  return  with  him. 
"  Glad  hof  hit,  sir."  On  his  arrival  at  Paddington  Green, 
he  was  obligingly  informed,  "Now,  sir,  Paddington."  "But 
I  don't  wish  to  get  out,  I  am  going  to  return  with  you." 
"  Hobliged  to  you,  sir,  but  hi  dines  now,  hand  ve  changes 
osses :  put  you  hinto  hanother  bus,  sir."  "  All  right,"  said 
the  traveller.  He  was  in  due  course  handed  out  of  the  one 
into  another.  Within  the  hour,  our  friend  had  arrived  for 
the  second  time  at  the  Bank.  The  other  passengers  de 
scended,  but  he  remained,  handing  the  conductor  his  six 
pence,  at  the  same  time  announcing  an  important  fact :  "  I 


180  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

return  with  you,  conductor."  "  You  does,  does  you,  sir  ?  " 
"Yes,  I  do."  "Hall  right,  sir."  In  due  time  our  friend 
was  for  the  second  time  at  Paddington,  found  himself  once 
more  the  sole  occupant  of  his  carriage,  and  with  his  accus 
tomed  regularity,  paid  his  sixpence.  The  conductor  bawls 
into  our  friend's  ear,  "  Ve  stops  eere,  hand  hain't  a  going 
back."  "  Oh,  then  I  must  take  another  omnibus  to  go  back 
to  the  city."  "  You'd  better,  sir." 

Arrived  at  the  Bank,  our  friend,  who  calculated  that  he 
had  twenty  miles  of  his  forty  to  accomplish,  sat  still.  The 
ten  minutes  before  the  return  journey  commenced  was  fully 
occupied  in  listening  to  the  remarks  of  all  kinds,  from  coach 
men  and  conductors,  with  whom  he  found  he  had  become 
the  subject  of  deep  speculation ;  the  more  so  for  having 
heard  the  conductor,  in  coming  up  Pentonville  Hill,  say  to 
a  colleague  who  was  passing,  "  Vy,  Bill,  I've  got  the  mad 
un  this  time."  The  worthy  Registrar  had  two  hours  left 
to  complete  his  day's  ride,  each  periodical  inspection  be 
coming  minuter  both  at  the  Paddington  and  city  terminus. 
Just  before  leaving  Paddington  for  the  last  time,  to  get 
down  at  Euston  Square  en  route  to  Chancery  Lane,  he  ad 
dressed  the  conductors  and  coachmen  who  were  gazing  at 
him,  thus :  "  Well,  I  can  give  a  very  good  account  of  you 
to  Her  Majesty's  Government.  You  seem  a  steady,  respec 
table  body  of  men ;  I  have  heard  little  or  no  improper  lan 
guage  from  you  during  the  six  hours  I  have  been  inspecting 
you,  nor  have  I  seen  any  case  of  '  nursing,'  which,  if  I  had, 
would  have  been  visited  with  my  highest  displeasure,  and 
an  immediate  dismissal  of  the  guilty  parties  would  have 
followed :  moreover,  and  I  state  it  as  highly  creditable  to 
you,  as  you  did  not  know  me,  that  you  have  paid  me  marked 
attention  throughout  the  day;  good-afternoon,  put  me 
down,  conductor,  at  Euston  Square."  Instantly  a  most 
earnest  conversation  ensued  among  the  brethren  of  the 
whip,  which  delayed  the  departure  of  the  omnibus  for  some 


THE  ABYSSINIAN  EXPEDITION.  181 

minutes,  giving  our  friend  the  advantage  of  hearing  some 
portion  of  it.  One  of  them  exclaimed,  "  Veil,  crikey,  here's 
a  go ;  hinstead  hof  hourn  ha  vatching  he,  hee's  been  ha  vatch- 
ing  hus.  Yat  luck  hit  vas  e  never  seed  me  ha  nursing  hof 
Any  hall  the  vay  from  the  city.  Veil,  you  never  can  judge 
hof  these  ere  coves." 

Our  host  concluded  his  amusing  description  of  his  day's 
journeyings  by  omnibus,  by  expressing  his  conviction  that 
before  the  evening  closed,  one  of  the  conductors  was  con 
gratulated  by  a  large  section  of  his  fraternity,  on  having 
failed  to  carry  out  his  threat  of  depositing  him  in  St.  Luke's. 

78.  An  Anglo-American's  Vieio  of  the  Abyssinian 
Expedition. 

At  the  table  d'hote  of  the  Railway  Hotel  at  Glasgow  I 
saw  a  Maclean,  a  Mackenzie,  or  a  Macgregor — I  forget 
which — work  himself  into  a  towering  state  of  excitement 
with  an  American  visitor,  whom  he  described  as  a  pervert. 
"  Na,  na,  there's  nae  excuse  for  him,  for  it  is  no  as  if  his 
grandfaither  had  emigrated  to  America  when  it  was  a 
British  Colony,  but  this  gabbler  o'  &  fallow  went  there  some 
twenty  years  syne 1  and  by  carrying  on  some  mercantile 
trading  between  the  United  States — united  indeed ! ! — and 
Great  Britain,  made  his  money  and  lost  his  nationality,  if 
he  ever  had  ony.  But  in  regard  to  this  man's  renunciation 
o'  the  land  o'  his  birth,  ma  opinion  is,  we  are  weel  rid  o' 
him.  In  the  whole  coorse  #'  ma  experience,  I  never  met 
this  man's  match  in  audacity  o'  statement,  nor  did  I  ever 
hear  sic*  a  piece  o'  heartless  bombast  fa?  frae  the  lips  o' 
ony  man,  much  less  ane  who  left  his  hame  a  subject  <?' 
Queen  Victoria."  It  was  in  addressing  me  in  reply  to  an 
observation  I  made  about  the  success  of  Sir  Robert  Na 
pier's  expedition  to  Abyssina.  This  *  pervert '  assumed  a 
1  since.  9  inch. 


182  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

vrery  consequential  and  patronizing  tone,  "  which,"  said  my 
countryman,  "I  will  stand  from  EO  man,  especially  from 
ane  who  would  fain  mak  himself  appear  at  the  end  of 
twenty  years  an  American  ceetezen  of  importance."  "  Well, 
so  you  Britishers  consider  this  a  great  victory  ?  "  "  Yes, 
we  do,  a  great  military  success,  which  will  always  form  a 
leading  chapter  in  our  military  annals."  "  Indeed,  so  you 
look  upon  it  as  a  great  military  exploit,  do  you  ?  "  "  We 
do."  "  Why,  sir,  your  English  general  seems  to  have  had 
some  difficulty  in  returning  one  officer  killed,  and  one  or 
two  privates  slightly  wounded.  We  don't  carry  on  war  on 
our  side  the  Atlantic  in  that  way."  '  Net-,  by  m a  faith,  you 
don't,"  exclaimed  the  son  of  Scotia.  "  We  emancipated 
our  slaves  in  the  West  Indies  without  spilling  bluid,  and 
only  spending  aboot  twenty  millions  sterling  in  awarding 
a  moderate  compensation  to  the  planters ;  whereas,  you 
emancipated  your  slaves  by  entering  into  a  ceevil  war,  the 
most  cruel,  the  most  unnatural,  the  most  disastrous,  that 
ever  disgraced  humanity ;  and  this,  mind  you,  in  the  nine 
teenth  century.  Weel,  after  this  most  cruel  butchery, 
brithers  fechting  against  brithers,  probably  faithers  against 
their  ain  bairns,  sacrificing  half  o  million  o'  lives,  I  believe 
a  million  would  be  nearer  the  trowthf  to  say  naething  o' 
spending  six  hundred  millions  o'  poonds  sterling,  which 
you  will  no  ca  l  naething '  by-and-by  when  yer  taxes  hae 
to  be  met  to  cancel  your  greenbacks.  Ma  guid,  sir,  you'll 
no  be  seeking  war  wi  oursels  or  ony  ither  power  in  Europe 
for  a  guid  wheen  years,  I  promise  you,  unless  ye  are  deevilish 
fond  o'  taxation  in  America.  Then  because  our  great  Gen 
eral  of  Engineers,  Napier,  carries  an  expedition  into  the 
heart  o'  Abyssinia,  where  he  had  the  dangers  o'  a  tropical 
climate  to  apprehend,  and  accomplishes  the  responsible  duty 
intrusted  to  him  by  his  Sovereign,  in  a  manner  to  command 
the  respect  and  admiration  of  the  nations  of  Europe,  al- 

1  truth. 


A  CANDIDATE  FOR  SUDBURY.  183 

though  it  would  appear  the  Western  world,  which  you 
seem  to  represent,  is  an  exception,  by  securing  the  deliver 
ance  of  the  English  and  other  prisoners  immured  in  the 
dungeons  of  a  bhtid-ihirsty  tyrant.  JVbo,  as  the  British 
General  and  the  brave  men  whom  he  led  not  less  skilfully 
than  safely  through  the  parched  defiles  and  mountain- 
passes  of  a  strange  kintra,  achieving  success  without  spill 
ing  oceans  of  human  gore  as  it  flowed  with  you  on  the 
banks  of  the  Potomac  and  under  the  walls  of  Richmond, 
you  think  proper  to  sneer  at  our  bluidless  victory.  Why, 
sir,  I  wonder  you  are  not  ashamed  to  express  such  senti 
ments.  Lucky,  sir,"  continued  our  indignant  countryman, 
"  that  you  are  not  a  Scotchman,  for  upon  my  faith,  had  you 
been  ane,  I  should  hae  been  inclined  to  mak  the  kintra 
ower  het  for  you."  He  had  now  expended  his  phial  of  in 
dignation,  and  looking  to  the  right  and  left,  and  addressing 
us  in  a  somewhat  loud  whisper,  informed  us,  "  that  he  was 
only,  after  a,'  a  hybrid  Yankee,  or  what  we  should  ca  in 
Scoteland  a  mongrel." 


79.  A  Candidate  for  Sudbury. 

I  had  an  esteemed  friend  in  London  who  was  unrivalled 
in  his  powers  of  descriptive  narrative,  accompanied  by 
graphic  truth  and  humor.  One  of  his  happy  efforts  was 
Mr.  Dyce  Sombre's  candidature  for  Parliamentary  honors, 
through  the  then  immaculate  and  since  disfranchised  bor 
ough  of  Sudbury  in  Suffolk.  A  West-end  friend  had  told 
the  wealthy  Asiatic,  whose  attention  had  been  suddenly 
directed  toward  the  borough  in  question,  that  the  only  man 
in  London  who  could  assist  him  in  reaching  St.  Stephen's  as 

M.  P.  for  Sudbury  was  Mr. .    Accordingly,  the  Eastern 

magnate  called  upon  him  with  a  note  of  introduction,  and 
informed  him  that,  cottte  que  cortte,  he  must  make  him  a 
member  of  Parliament,  and  that  he  should  like  to  represent 


184  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

Sudbury,  at  that  moment  ready  to  receive  not  only  the  ad 
dress  but  the  embrace  of  any  liberal-minded  wooer. 

My  friend,  finding  the  aspirant  for  Parliament,  in  regard 
to  any  political  knowledge  whatever,  as  "  chaste  as  unsunned 
snow,"  informed  his  visitor  that  his  safest  politics — for  he 
wished  him  to  be  not  only  the  successful  but  the  popular 
candidate — would  be  so-and-so.  He  was  ready  to  conform 
to  any  politics.  With  such  ductile  materiel  the  honorable 
gentleman's  address  was  then  and  there  prepared,  and  next 
day  it  appeared  in  the  leading  journals.  Mr.  Dyce  Sombre's 
agents  at  Sudbury  were  forthwith  appointed. 

The  "  Sombre  "  candidate  was  most  anxious  to  visit  Sud 
bury  without  delay,  to  make  himself  known  to  the  electors, 
and  render  things  "  pleasant."  This  proposition  met  with 
my  friend's  point  blanc  opposition,  as  his  greatest  difficulty 
was  the  point  noir  of  his  candidate.  He  therefore  assured 
him  that  the  Sudbury  people,  especially  at  the  period  of  an 
election,  were  difficult  to  transact  business  with,  and  that 
it  would  be  infinitely  better  arranged  in  London  than  on 
the  spot ;  that  his  (Mr.  Dyce  Sombre's)  presence  was  not 
required  until  the  day  of  election  had  been  fixed,  previous 
to  which  he  would  have  the  pleasure  of  accompanying  him 
to  the  scene  of  action.  The  honorable  candidate  was  specially 
cautioned  on  no  account  whatever  to  receive  or  be  at  home 
to  any  one  approaching  him  from  Sudbury,  nor  was  he  to 
write  (in  Hindostanee,  I  presume)  a  single  letter  on  the 
subject  of  the  election ;  at  the  same  time  he  was  informed 
that,  if  he  followed  out  strictly  these  instructions,  he  might 
rely  with  full  confidence  on  seeing  himself  a  member  of 
Parliament.  The  time  had  arrived,  and .  the  honorable 
gentleman  was  apprised  that  he  and  his  political  guide  and 
appriser  must  leave  London  next  day  for  Sudbury,  four  post- 
horses  at  each  stage  doing  what  the  railway  now  so  easily 
accomplishes.  The  journey  was  so  arranged  as  to  prevent 
a  daylight  ovation  to  the  candidate  on  getting  within  the 


A  CANDIDATE  FOR  SUDBURY.          185 

precincts  of  that  once  famous  borough,  where  first  settled 
the  Flemings,  who  were  brought  over  by  Edward  III.  to 
teach  the  English  the  art  of  manufacturing  their  own  wool. 
It  was  at  an  advanced  hour  of  the  evening  when  my  friend 
introduced  the  honorable  candidate  to  his  proposer  and 
seconder,  who  on  retiring  strongly  advised  that  Mr.  Sombre 
should  not  be  produced  next  morning  at  the  nomination. 
The  poor  gentleman  had  accordingly  to  consider  himself  an 
invalid,  and  confined  to  his  room,  the  incarceration  to  be  in 
force  all  the  following  and  next  day,  down  to  the  close  of 
the  poll.  He  was  not  allowed  even  to  take  a  carriage-drive, 
and  was  to  be  invisible  to  all  his  supporters  save  and  except 
his  proposer  and  seconder ;  and  as  a  further  precaution,  the 
waiters  at  the  hotel  were  specially  instructed  as  to  the 
precise  bulletin  they  were  to  give  from  hour  to  hour,  and 
that  they  were  to  pay  no  attention  whatever  to  idle  ques 
tions.  Few  men  under  such  circumstances  could  be  more 
ably  or  happily  represented  on  the  hustings  than  was  Mr. 
Sombre  by  my  friend,  an  extremely  skilful  and  effective 
speaker,  and  unrivalled  in  keeping  an  audience  in  good 
humor.  The  political  bill  of  fare  which  he  supplied  on  be 
half  of  the  invalid  candidate  was  what  no  enlightened  and 
independent  constituency  could  possibly  reject.  My  friend 
afterward  confessed  to  me  that  he  made  •  one  most  appall 
ing  mistake  in  his  speech  on  the  day  of  nomination.  "  I 
was  not  content,  as  I  should  have  been,  with  the  vociferous 
and  complimentary  reception  which  Mr.  Dyce  Sombre's 
political  sentiments  enunciated  through  me  as  his  organ 
had  experienced,  but  in  the  effervescence  of  the  moment  I 
foolishly  threw  down  the  gauntlet  too  boldly,  and  said,  *  If 
there  was  any  elector  who  wished  to  put  a  question  to  him, 
acting  on  that  hustings  for  my  estimable  friend,  I  would  do 
my  best  to  answer  it.'  Up  started  an  elector  and  said : 

he  '  had  one  question,  and  only  one,  to  axe  Maister .' 

'  I  shall  be  happy  to  answer  it.'     *  Then,  Maister ,  I 


186  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

axes  you  this  ere  simple  question,  is  it  true  that  the  candi 
date  you've  brought  us  is  a  black  un  ? '  '  It  is  unnecessary 
for  me  to  answer  such  an  extraordinary  question,  as  I  fully 
hope  I  shall  have  the  pleasure  of  introducing  the  worthy 
gentleman  to  you  to-morrow,  when  I  know  before  the  clock 
strikes  four  you  intend  to  return  a  liberal-minded  man — yes, 
gentlemen,  liberal  in  every  sense  of  the  word — as  member 
of  Parliament  for  your  ancient  borough.'  "  He  did  produce 
his  friend  next  day  shortly  before  four  o'clock,  and  soon 
after  that  hour  left  him,  to  make  not  a  speech,  but  his  bo\v 
as  member  of  Parliament  for  Sudbury,  hearing  on  his  right 

and  left  the  remark :    "  Ah,  Maister ,  you've  been  too 

much  for  us." 


80.  Lord  Castlereagh  and  the  JKev.  James  Reid. 

A  laughable  circumstance  occurred  in  my  county  in  Scot 
land  more  than  fifty  years  ago,  the  shaft  of  the  Government 
having  been  directed,  through  Lord  Castlereagh,  against  as 
good  a  man  and  as  loyal  a  subject  as  King  George  III.  had 
in  his  dominions. 

The  Rev.  James  Reid,  minister  of  the  Reformed  Pres 
byterian  Church  in  Newton  Stewart,  rented  a  house  011  my 
father's  estate,  and  he  had  been  our  tenant  for  a  series  of 
years.  In  early  life  he  had  spent  a  short  time  in  America, 
and  any  thing  that  he  saw  that  \vas  worthy  of  admiration 
in  the  institutions  of  the  United  States  he  always  urged  as 
deserving  of  being  adopted  in  his  owrn  country.  My  father 
concluded  that  Lord  Castlereagh,  when  posting  through 
Wigtonshire  in  going  to  and  returning  from  the  North  of 
Ireland,  must  have  heard  of  Mr.  Reid's  political  proclivities ; 
for  it  was  well  known  that  the  noble  viscount,  in  changing 
horses,  or  in  dining  and  remaining  for  the  night  at  any  inn 
en  route,  always  launched  extensively  into  conversation 
with  landlords  and  waiters,  so  as  to  pick  up  all  the  local 


LORD   CASTLEREAGH  AND   REV.   J.   REID.  187 

information  he  could,  and  in  this  way  possessed  himself  of 
much  provincial  knowledge,  the  nature  and  extent  of  which 
often  puzzled  those  with  whom  he  was  associated  in  public 
affairs. 

My  father,  who  occasionally  corresponded  with  Lord 
Castlereagh,  one  morning  received  a  letter  from  his  lord 
ship,  making  strict  inquiry  respecting  a  Rev.  James  Reid, 
of  wrhom  he  had  heard  a  very  bad  account  (politically).  In 
fact,  my  father  was  requested  by  his  noble  correspondent 
to  keep  a  careful  surveillance  over  the  reverend  gentle 
man,  whose  political  opinions  were  so  objectionable  to  His 
Majesty's  Government.  It  so  happened  that  Mr.  Reid  was 
that  day  to  dine  at  our  house,  to  meet  two  friends  who  also 
resided  on  my  father's  property,  General  the  Honorable 
Sir  William  Stewart,  formerly  member  for  the  county,  and 
Captain  (subsequently  Admiral)  McKerlie. 

Nothing  was  said  until  the  ladies  had  retired,  when  my 
father  told  his  guests  what  a  dangerous  person  they  asso 
ciated  with  in  their  reverend  friend.  On  the  Cabinet  Min 
ister's  alarming  communication  being  read,  it  was  agreed 
that  it  was  not  "  a  privileged  communication,"  and  could 
be  taken  under  review  at  that  table  without  any  breach  of 
confidence,  or  danger  to  the  state.  My  father  had  answered 
the  Secretary  of  State's  letter  in  the  forenoon,  and  I,  as  a 
lad,  had  to  transcribe  it,  for  my  father  wrote  a  hand  most 
difficult  to  decipher. 

His  answer  to  Lord  Castlereagh  was  very  amusing ;  he 
told  his  lordship  that  the  worthy  parson  was  that  day  to 
dine  with  him,  and  would  meet  an  old  parliamentary  friend 
of  his  own,  General  Sir  William  Stewart,  and  a  gallant 
post-captain  in  His  Majesty's  service,  in  addition  to  certain 
most  loyal  county  magistrates.  His  lordship  wrote  a  droll 
reply,  assuring  my  father  that  all  fears  which  His  Majesty's 
Government  might  have  entertained  in  regard  to  Mr.  Reid 
had  in  consequence  of  his  letter  entirely  subsided.  I  know 


188  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

I  lost  a  day's  shooting  by  it,  for  nothing  I  dreaded  more 
than  my  father  taking  up  his  pen  to  write  upon  a  public 
question  to  a  public  man,  for  it  always  fell  to  my  lot  to 
make  a  copy  of  it. 

81.  Religious  Toleration. 

Although  I  never  attended  to  my  father's  political  les 
sons,  there  was  one  of  his  on  another  subject,  namely, 
religious  toleration,  which  I  can  never  forget,  and  which 
was  highly  appreciated  by  a  large  section  of  the  population 
in  his  district. 

That  worthy  and  excellent  man,  the  late  Rev.  Dr.  An 
drew  Carruthers,  the  Roman  Catholic  Bishop  of  Edinburgh, 
and  who  resided  for  some  years  at  New  Abbey  in  the 
Stewartry  of  Kirkcudbright,  made  periodical  journeys  to 
Wigtonshire  to  visit  his  clerical  friends  and  their  flocks. 

Although  my  father  and  mother  were  excellent  Protes 
tants,  they  always  gave  Dr.  Carruthers  a  hearty  welcome 
at  Merton  Hall,  which  he  made  his  home  during  his  stay  in 
our  part  of  the  country.  Their  carriage  was  considered 
solely  at  the  disposal  of  the  reverend  gentleman  during 
the  visit,  which  generally  lasted  for  a  week.  The  worthy 
Bishop,  in  after-years,  used  to  refer  to  the  agreeable  visits 
lie  paid  to  our  family.  The  severest  and  most  prejudiced 
critics  my  father  had  were  two  of  his  own  ploughmen. 
They  were  afraid  to  speak  to  the  laird  on  the  subject,  but 
were  open-mouthed  to  our  tutor,  my  brothers,  and  myself. 
"  Ay,  is  it  no  dreed/it?  to  think  that  the  laird  should  harbor 
in  his  ain  hoose  that  aicsome  (terrible)  Roman  ?  He  is  no 
a  bad  man,  I  dar  say,  himsel,  but  he's  a  Roman ;  and  it's 
a  wonner  (wonder)  to  us  that  yer  (your)  gude  mither  the 
leddy,  would  thole  (endure)  it ;  ay,  it  is  sad,  vera  sad." 


THE  BATTLE   OF  THE   PINE.  189 

82.  "  How  these  Scotchmen  do  play  into  each  others 
Hands!" 

This  language  I  had  applied  to  me  some  thirty-five 
3rears  ago  under  the  following  circumstances,  and  I  leave 
others  to  determine  whether  it  was  merited  : 

Her  late  Majesty  Queen  Adelaide  had  intimated  her 
intention  to  the  authorities  of  St.  Paul's,  of  attending  the 
anniversary  of  the  Charity  Children  assembling  within  the 
Cathedral,  and  at  the  same'  time  the  Lord  and  Lady 
Mayoress  were  apprised  that  Her  Majesty  would  afterward 
pay  them  a  visit  at  the  Mansion  House,  and  lunch  there. 
Accordingly,  invitations  were  issued  by  the  Lord  and  Lady 
Mayoress  to  those  whom  they  wished  to  honor.  Several 
members  of  my  family,  with  myself,  were  honored  with  in 
vitations.  Her  Majesty  was  accompanied  by  Prince  George 
of  Cambridge,  then  an  affable  vivacious  youth,  and  of  whom 
it  was  augured  that,  on  reaching  man's  estate,  he  would  be 
short  and  squat !  Her  Majesty  was  pleased  to  hold  on  the 
occasion,  at  the  Mansion  House,  a  limited  drawing-room, 
which  highly  pleased  the  ladies.  A  grand  d'ejeune  followed. 
Her  Majesty  and  Prince  George  sat  at  a  small  circular  table 
with  the  Lord  and  Lady  Mayoress,  while  the  Royal  suite, 
with  the  visitors,  occupied  a  large  table  in  juxtaposition  to 
that  of  Royalty.  I  happened  to  be  near  the  Lord  Mayor, 
and  in  the  middle  of  the  Royal  table  stood  a  magnificent 
pine-apple,  the  largest  I  had  ever  seen,  and,  unless  I  was 
wofully  mistaken,  this  pine  divided  much  of  the  attention 
of  those  visitors  who  threw  their  glances  toward  the  Royal 
party. 

Little  did  I  suppose  that  this  rare  specimen  of  that  de 
licious  fruit  was  to  involve  me  in  almost  a  service  of  dan 
ger,  and  connect  me  with  an  illiberal  remark — "  How  these 
Scotchmen  do  play  into  each  other's  hands  ! "  It  is  never 
theless  an  unquestionable  fact  that  certain  guests  of  the 


190  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

Lord  Mayor,  who  sat  at  the  lower  end  of  the  large  table, 
seeing  that  the  pine  was  still  uncut,  had  made  up  their 
minds  to  conclude  their  dejeune  by  having  a  substantial 
slice  on  the  departure  of  the  illustrious  visitors.  The  Lord 
Mayor  had  anticipated  some  such  result,  for  when  Her 
Majesty  rose  to  take  leave,  and  had  accepted  the  Lord 
Mayor's  arm,  he  said  to  me,  in  passing,  "  Oblige  me  by 
saving  the  pine."  I  inferred  that  Her  Majesty  was  to  be 
the  recipient  of  the  pine,  owing  to  its  rare  dimensions,  at 
Buckingham  Palace,  before  the  day  closed,  otherwise  I 
should  not  have  fought  or  struggled  to  preserve  it  as  I  did. 
Although  I  knew  I  was  not  defending  Her  Majesty's  colors, 
as  I  hope  I  should  have  done  upon  the  heights  of  the  Alma 
or  at  Inkerman,  still  I  felt  convinced  that  I  was  defending 
Queen  Adelaide's  pine-apple  in  the  Mansion  House  of  the 
City  of  London :  I  therefore  waited  rather  nervously,  as  I 
now  clearly  discovered  that  the  eyes  of  a  section  of  the 
visitors  were  more  directed  to  the  spoils  on  the  Royal  table 
than  even  to  departing  Royalty  itself;  for  no  sooner  had 
Her  Majesty  and  her  nephew  left  the  banquet-hall,  than  a 
rush  was  made  toward  the  circular  table.  The  Lord  Mayor's 
request  had  to  be  complied  with ;  and  without  ceremony, 
I  seized  the  vase  containing  the  pine.  My  position  must 
have  resembled  the  huntsman  holding  the  fox  above  his 
head  from  the  hounds  until  the  brush  had  been  secured. 
I  thought  I  should  be  worried  to  death  in  protecting,  as  I 
supposed,  Royal  property,  and  never  stood  more  in  need  of 
assistance.  I  luckily  recollected  the  line  from  the  Poet 
Burns,  "  /Scots  wham  llruce  has  a/ten  led"  and  at  the  same 
time  that  the  Lord  Mayor's  head  butler's  name  was  Bruce. 
I  therefore  vociferated,  "  Bruce,  to  the  rescue !  "  Luckily, 
that  eminent  functionary  had  fulfilled  his  mission,  so  far  as 
he  was  concerned  in  the  departure  of  Her  Majesty,  and  he 
instantly  came  to  my  support,  when  I  told  him  in  audible 
language,  "  The  Lord  Mayor  desires  that  this  pine  shall  be 


DINING  WITH  AN  AMBASSADOR.  191 

kept."  This  quelled  the  outbreak  so  far,  and  Bruce  went 
off  with  the  pine-apple.  The  Lord  Mayor  returned,  and 
the  first  person  to  whom  he  directed  his  steps  was  to  my 
self,  inquiring,  not  altogether  sotto  voce,  "  Have  you  saved 
the  pine  ?  "  "I  have."  "  That  I  will  vouch  for,"  exclaimed 
a  bystander  who  had  heard  the  question.  "  All  right,"  said 
the  Lord  Mayor.  "  I  presume,  my  Lord  Mayor,"  said  one 
of  the  disappointed  candidates  for  a  slice  of  the  redoubtable 
pine,  "that  it  is  to  be  sent  to  Her  Majesty?  "  "  Nothing 
of  the  kind,"  said  the  Lord  Mayor,  who  was  well  known  to 
be  an  outspoken  man.  "  Why,  then,  my  Lord,  is  it  not  to 
be  eaten  ?  "  "  It  was  to  be  eaten  by  the  Queen,  not  by 
you,"  said  the  Lord  Mayor ;  "  but  as  Her  Majesty  declined 
to  partake  of  it,  I  return  it  to  whence  it  came  "  (Birch's, 
Cornhill)  ;  "  I  arranged  to  pay  two  guineas  for  the  loan,  or 
seven  guineas  if  it  had  been  eaten  ;  and  as  it  has  not  been 
eaten,  I  save  five  guineas." 

"  Well,  to  be  sure,"  exclaimed  another  admirer  of  the 
pine,  and  one  of  the  'dissatisfied  grumblers,  "  here  is  a 
specimen  of  Scotch  economy  for  you :  all  I  have  now  to 
say  is,  '  How  these  Scotchmen  do  play  into  each  other's 
hands ! ' " 

83.  Dining  with  an  Ambassador. 

In  London  I  was  a  guest  of  the  late  Mr.  James  Stuart, 
of  Dunearn,  the  day  after  he  and  the  late  Mr.  McCulloch, 
the  political  economist  (a  member  of  the  Institute  of 
France)  had  dined  with  M.  Guizot,  then  French  Ambassa 
dor  at  the  court  of  St.  James's."  At  that  period,  Mr. 
McCulloch  had  never  crossed  the  Straits  of  Dover.  They 
made  us  laugh  at  their  description  of  the  rapidity  with 
which  a  dinner  at  the  Embassy  could  be  dispatched.  They 
sat  down  at  seven,  and  at  nine  were  again  from  table.  I 
asked  the  political  economist,  who  never  allowed  his  own 
guests  to  depart  before  eleven,  what  he  and  his  friend  did 


192  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

under  the  circumstances.  "  Well,  we  had  nothing  else  for 
it  than  to  go  home  ;  but  before  we  separated,  I  said, '  Stuart, 
this  is  very  early  to  be  turned  out  on  the  world ;  still,  it 
will  impress  the  fact  the  more  strongly  on  our  minds  of 
the  honor  we  have  had  in  dining  with  the  Ex-Premier, 
Historian,  Orator  and  Ambassador  of  France.  Ah,  Stuart ! 
France — which  I  have  yet  to  see — must  be  a  great  country, 
to  produce  at  once  a  Guizot  and  such  magnificent  claret.' " 

84.    Grosvenor  Street  v.  Grosvenor  Square. 

Many  years  ago  I  was  asked  by  a  friend  residing  in 

Grosvenor  Street — Doctor  W ,  F.  R.  S. — to  dine  with 

him  to  meet  a  Scotch  friend,  who  was  paying  his  first  visit 
to  London.  The  party,  numbering  ten  or  twelve,  were  in 
the  drawing-room  anxiously  waiting  the  arrival  of  the 
stranger,  who  was  much  past  his  time ;  it  was  agreed  to 
give  him  ten  minutes'  law ;  but  before  this  had  expired  he 
appeared.  Apparently  under  great  excitement,  he  at 
tempted  to  stammer  out  an  apology  for  being  late ;  and 
somehow  or  other  a  strong  feeling  of  curiosity  prevailed  to 
learn  the  cause.  Dinner  was  now  ordered  up,  and  our 
host  considered  that  the  interval  could  not  be  better  occu 
pied  than  by  asking  his  friend  what  had  happened.  "  Hap 
pened  !  Why,  I  hae  been  grossly  insulted,  and  you,  Doctor, 
cam  in  for  a  share  of  it."  "  Indeed !  how  was  that  ?  " 
"  Weel)  you  know  I  am  quite  a  stranger  in  London,  and  I 
drove  to  Grosvenor  Square  instead  of  Grosvenor  Street. 
IVeel,  I  got  oot  o'  the  hackney-carriage,  paid  ma  fare,  and 
asked  the  lackey  at  the  door  if  the  hoose  was  number — . 
'  Yes,  sir,'  said  he,  '  it  is ; '  and  of  coorse  I  walked  in,  and 
took  aff  ma  cloak.  I  must  say  I  was  not  a  little  bewil 
dered,  for  there  were  six  lackeys  on  one  side,  and  six  on 
the  other,  all  in  grand  liveries."  "  Surely,"  said  our  host, 
"  you  did  not  imagine  that  I,  as  a  London  physician,  kept 


THE    OLD    GLASGOW  HAND-LOOM  WEAVER.          193 

twelve  footmen."  "  No,  that  is  very  true,  Doctor ;  but  I 
was  in  a  quandary,  and  I  marched  right  up  through  the 
line  of  flunkeys  until  I  reached  a  d —  manial  at  the  foot  of 
the  staircase  who  asked  my  name.  I  then  said,  '  Does  Dr. 

W live  here  ? '    The  insolent  -scoundrel  put  himself  full 

in  front  of  me,  as  if  he  was  going  to  knock  me  down,  and 

in  the  most  impudent  tone  repeated,  *  Doctor  W live 

here  ? '  and  then  made  me  back  out  toward  the  door,  as  if 
he  suspected  I  had  come  to  rob  the  hoose,  exclaiming,  so 
that  all  his  brethren  might  hear  it,  '  Who  ever  heard  of  a 
doctor  living  in  Grosvenor  Square  ?  '  I  really  was  thank 
ful,  Doctor,  that  I  got  back  ma  cloak."  It  appeared  that 
the  worthy  but  highjy-indignant  Scot  had  entered  by  mis 
take  a  certain  noble  lord's  residence,  where  a  grand  banquet 
was  to  be  given  that  same  evening  to  one  of  the  Royal 
dukes. 

85.  The   Old  Glasgow  Hand-loom,  Weaver  at  Greenwich 
Hospital. 

I  once  had  the  pleasure  of  aiding  in  the  work  of  trans 
forming  an  old  Glasgow  hand-loom  weaver  into  a  Green 
wich  pensioner.  My  man,  Rock — as  good-hearted  an  Irish 
man  as  ever  crossed  St.  George's  Channel — came  suddenly 
into  my  room  one  afternoon,  to  tell  me  that  a  poor  ould 
Scotchman,  a  namesake  of  mine,  was  very  anxious  to  see 
me,  and  further,  that  he  was  "  about  very  narely  starving." 
I  desired  him  to  show  my  countryman  and  namesake  up 
stairs,  and  then  to  look  after  some  food  on  his  behalf  with 
out  delay.  He  was  a  slightly-built,  short,  wiry  old  man, 
apparently  about  sixty  years  of  age,  with  a  mild,  intelligent 
countenance  and  pleasing  manners,  one  of  "  Nature's  gen 
tlemen  ; "  and  the  introduction  so  far  was  satisfactory. 
"  I  learn,  my  good  man,"  said  I,  "  that  you  and  I  are  name 
sakes."  "  It  is  vera  true,  sir ;  and,  in  fact,  that  caused  me 
to  talc  the  leeberty  to  ca"1  upon  you,  for  I  am  sairly  put  tillt " 
9 


194  KEMINISCEXCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

(put  to  it).  "Pray,  what  have  you  been?"  "I  am  an 
auld  worn-o0£  Glasgow  hand-loom  weaver,  sir."  In  the 
mean  time  Rock  had  brought  him  something  substantial ; 
but  the  fact  that  I  seemed  inclined  to  be  his  friend  ap 
peared  to  reinvigorate  him  as  much  as  Rock's  lunch. 

The  poor  old  fellow  lisped  out,  "  Ay,  sir,  a  frien  in 
need  is  a  frien  indeed."  His  meal  finished,  he  went  on 
jauntily  enough  with  his  little  but  eventful  history : 

"  The  trowth  is,  I  hae  been  working  hard  for  the  last 
thretty  (thirty)  years  as  a  hand-loom  weaver  in  Glasgow ; 
but  we  hae  been  clean  dune  (altogether  superseded)  by 
machinery ;  and  ye  canna  wonner,  for  naething  can  stop 
the  advance  o'  machinery ;  and  it  is  quite  recht  it  should 
be  sae ;  and  I  was  sure  it  was  coming,  notwithstanding  cC 
(all)  Mr.  Gillon,  the  member-  o'  Parliament-  did  in  the 
Iloose  o'  Commons  to  serve  the  hand-loom  weavers,  to 
whom  he  urus  always  a  warm  and  kind  frien.  I  said  to 
mapuir  dochter,  who,  with  her  husband — also  a  hand-loom 
weaver — has  always  looked  after  her  faither  for  years,  *  It 
winna  do,  Mary,  ony  langer.  It  braks  ma  heart,  Mary,  to 
see  the  bairns  stinted  o'  their  food  to  feed  their  auldgrand- 
faither.  Na,  na,  Mary,  I  can  stan  it  nae  langer  :  I'll  find 
ma  way  up  to  London.'  And  here  I  am  sir."  I  asked 
him  how  he  came  from  Scotland.  "  Weel,  sir,  I  got  the- 
gither  fourteen  shillings  before  leaving  hame,  and  I  hae 
walked  «'  the  way,  but  it  has  taen  me  mair  than  sax  weeks 
to  manage  it.  It  is  a  lang  journey  for  an  auld  man,  sir." 
"  Or  for  a  young  one  either,"  I  added.  Now  the  old  man 
might  have  come  from  Glasgow  to  London  by  the  third 
class  for  twenty  shillings.  I  next  asked  him  what  object 
he  had  in  coming  to  London.  "  Weel,  sir,  that's  a  vera 
reasonable  question,  for  it  has  turned  oot  a  fool's  errand  «' 
thegither;  but  I  think,  sir,  you'll  justify  me  a  wee  in  the 
attempt,  first,  to  relieve  ma  puir  dochter  and  her  husband 
frae  a  heavy  burden  (here  the  old  man  wept  bitterly),  and 


THE   OLD   GLASGOW   HAND-LOOM   WEAVER,  195 

niest9  sir,  to  be  doing  something  for  mysel.  JVoo  I  think 
it  recht  to  tell  you  that  I  fand  ma  way  to  the  Kent  road, 
to  a  naval  sort  o'  institution,  whare  I  could  learn  hoo  I  was 
to  manage  to  get  into  Greenwich  Hospital,  and  I  wus  tauld 
to  send  in  ma  papers,  which  I  did,  and  yesterday  I  wus  in 
formed  they  could  not  admit  me."  The  old  man  again  be 
came  much  affected,  but  I  told  him  to  cheer  up  as  I  would 
be  his  friend.  "  You  have,  then,  been  a  sailor  ?  "  "  Oh 
yes,  sir ;  I  wus  at  sea  at  the  end  of  last  century,  and  the 
beginning  o'  the  present.  I  was  pressed  oot  o1  a  merchant- 
ship  into  a  man-o'-war,  but  as  I  served  only  ten  years  and 
four  months  in  the  navy,  I  was  not  considered  entitled  to  a 
pension."  "  Did  you  see  much  service  ?  "  "  Oh  yes,  sir ; 
I  saw  a  dale  o'  service,  frigate  actions,  and  «'  kinds  d1  fecht- 
ing  ashore,  and  in  boats,  cutting  oot  under  the  enemy's 
batteries,  and  nae  end  o'  it."  "  Now,  do  you  mean  to  say 
you  have  been  rejected  at  Greenwich  Hospital ? "  "I  hae 
indeed,  sir ;  and  when  I  got  the  answer,  I  didna  Jcen  what 
ever  to  do  ;  and  I  couldna  write  ma  dochter  to  tell  her  «' 
this ;  it  would  hae  clean  brocken  her  heart,  as  never  had  a 
faither  a  better  bairn  than  she  haes  been  to  me."  "  Have 
you  got  your  papers  with  you  ?  "  "  That  I  hae,  sir ;  but  I 
am  afraid  they  are  in  an  untidy  state,  for  I  hae  had  them 
knocking  aboot  ma  bit  hist  (box)  for  mair  than  tliretty- 
(thirty)  five  years."  On  inspecting  them,  I  said  with  an 
expression  of  surprise,  "  I  see  you  were  at  the  battle  of 
Trafalgar."  "  Yes,  sir,  I  was  at  Trafalgar."  "  In  what 
ship?"  "The  Sparshiette  (Spartiate),  Captain  Francis 
Laforey."  It  so  happened  that  I  had  heard  more  of  the 
"Spartiate"  than  any  other  ship  at  Trafalgar,  in  conse 
quence  of  Sir  Francis  Laforey  having  been  the  intimate 
friend  of  my  wife's  family ;  and  Admiral  John  M'Kerlie, 
the  first  lieutenant  of  the  "  Spartiate,"  had  known  me  from 
boyhood.  I  found  my  namesake  the  hand-loom  weaver, 
now  converted  into  an  old  man-of-war's  man,  strictly  cor- 


196  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

rect  in  his  statement ;  but  I  thought  I  might  test  his  mem 
ory,  not  his  veracity,  with  an  additional  question.  "  Who 
was  your  first  lieutenant  at  Trafalgar  ?  "  "Ane  by  the 
name  o'  M'Kerlie,  a  Scotch  gentleman,  a  fine-looking  young 
man,  who  had  lost  his  recht  (right)  arm  under  Sir  Edward 
Pellew  (Lord  Exmouth)  in  his  action  wi9  a  French  squadron 
off  the  coost  0'  Ireland  in  Bantry  Bay."  In  every  thing  I 
found  my  weaver-sailor  friend  extremel}7  intelligent.  I 
now  brought  a  most  interesting  tcte-d-tete  to  a  close,  in 
forming  him  that  I  should  see  he  was  comfortably  lodged 
and  looked  after,  and  in  the  meantime  his  papers  would  be 
laid  before  the  Admiralty  authorities.  Admiral  Seymour, 
who  was  a  Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  repudiated  at  once  the 
idea  of  such  claims  for  admission  to  Greenwich  being  re 
jected,  and  on  inquiry  discovered  that  the  applicant's  papers 
were  returned  to  him  by  the  messenger,  never  having 
reached  the  Board.  A  week  or  ten  days  afterward  Rock 
came  to  me,  "  Well,  sor,  the  Scotchman  is  here  agin  ;  and 
it  is  now  shure  cartain  that  it  is  all  right  wid  him  this 
time ;  for,  yer  honor,  he  is  in  a  beautiful  new  dress,  almost 
like  an  officer."  Sure  enough,  here  was  my  namesake  in 
the  new  suit  of  a  Greenwich  pensioner.  The  metamor 
phosis  was  so  extensive  that  I  scarcely  recognized  him,  for 
her  most  Gracious  Majesty's  uniform  had  added  vastly  to 
the  rotundity  of  the  last  elected  member  of  Greenwich  Hos 
pital.  The  poor  old  man,  on  being  presented  to  me  in  his 
new  character  by  Rock,  held  down  his  head  and  smiled,  for 
he  scarcely  knew  himself;  and  in  terms  of  deep  gratitude 
and  loyalty  to  his  sovereign  confessed  that  mony,  mony 
years  had  passed  ower  his  head  sin  he  had  been  so  comfort 
ably  clothed.  After  I  had  fully  inspected  his  uniform,  and 
congratulated  him  on  reentering  the  navy  through  the  pal 
ace  of  Greenwich,  I  said,  "  I  thought  I  should  have  seen 
you  before  this."  "  Weel,  sir,  to  tell  you  the  rale  trowth, 
I  didna  like  to  come  until  I  got  ma  new  claes,  as  I  thocht 
ye  wud  like  to  see  me  in  them." 


MEXICO   IN   1827.  197 

My  grateful  namesake  paid  me  a  visit  every  six  months ; 
and  I  was  much  struck  with  one  circumstance,  rarely  to  be 
met  with  among  the  old  tars  at  Greenwich.  On  the  first 
occasion  I  placed  five  shillings  in  his  hand,  but  he  respect 
fully  and  firmly  declined  it,  saying,  "  I  am  truly  thankfu? 
to  the  Almighty  for  the  good  fortune  that  has  now  fallen 
to  me ;  I  hae  as  much  pocket-money  as  I  can  desire,  and 
every  comfort.  Besides,  sir,  Maister  Rock  has  just  gien 
me  an  excellent  denner  /  and  then,  sir,  I  coudna,  be  feeling 
comfortable  in  coming  to  see  you,  if  I  thocht  I  wus  to  be 
always  receiving  money."  John  Boyd  rose  to  be  boat 
swain's  mate  of  his  ward,  a  rating  which  gave  him  five 
shillings  a  week  money  allowance,  and  a  distinctive  badge. 
He  passed  the  last  twelve  or  fifteen  years  in  much  compar 
ative  comfort  at  Greenwich;  and  I  believe,  next  to  his 
dochter  and  her  husband,  he  liked  me  better  than  any  other 
person  in  the  world.  He  died  in  1855. 

86.  Mexico  in  1827. 

A  friend  lately  described  to  me  the  first  journey  he 
made  from  Vera  Cruz  to  the  city  of  Mexico.  The  party 
consisted  of  several  ladies  and  gentlemen,  one  of  the  latter 
being  the  Mexican-Spanish  Attorney-General.  At  a  par 
ticular  point  of  the  journey  the  ladies  became  terribly 
alarmed  on  learning  that  they  were  about  entering  a  dis 
trict  infested  by  brigands.  Their  companion,  the  Attorney- 
General,  instantly  relieved  the  ladies  and  the  others  of  all 
fear  by  informing  them  that  the  brigand-chief  was  his  inti 
mate  friend,  and  was  aware  that  he  was  travelling.  It 
would  be  somewhat  difficult  to  picture  or  realize  Her 
Britannic  Majesty's  Attorney-General  being  congratulated 
next  day  in  Westminster  Hall  and  Lincoln's  Inn  for  having 
rescued  his  fellow-passengers  by  the  old  Windsor  stage 
coach  on  Bagshot  Heath  from  robbery,  in  consequence  of 


198  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

his  intimacy  with  the  chief  highwayman.  Such,  however, 
was  the  state  of  Mexico  in  1827.  Forty-three  years  have 
in  the  mean  time  passed  away,  and  the  question  may  now 
be  asked,  Has  the  empire  which  Montezuma  ceased  to  rule 
in  1520  really  improved  in  three  centuries  and  a  half  ? 

87.    Captain  Nolan^  of  the  15th  Hussars. 

Poor  Lewis  Edward  Nolan,  who  was  the  first  to  fall  in 
commencing  the  ride  into  the  Valley  of  Death  at  Balaclava, 
was  my  intimate  friend ;  and  some  little  history  of  him  may 
be  interesting  to  those  who  have  entered  the  service  since 
the  Crimean  War,  and  since  Tennyson  wrote  the  "  Charge 
of  the  Light  Brigade." 

"  Half  a  league,  half  a  league, 
Half  a  league  onward, 
All  in  the  valley  of  death 
Rode  fie  six  hundred. 
'  Forward  the  Light  Brigade  I 
Charge  for  the  guns  ! '  he  said. 
Into  the  valley  of  death 
Rode  the  six  hundred." 

In  the  present  day  of  competitive  examination,  when  a 
knowledge  of  modern  languages  is  so  indispensable,  I  may 
mention  that  Captain  Nolan  and  his  brothers  had  a  remark 
able  facility  in  their  acquisition  ;  and  I  presume  that  to  his 
correct  musical  ear — for  he  was  an  accomplished  flautist, 
pianist,  and  violinist,  as  well  as  a  sweet  singer — may,  to 
some  considerable  extent,  be  ascribed  the  purity  with  which 
he  spoke  different  languages.  His  father,  the  late  Major 
Nolan,  told  me  of  an  instance  where  his  son's  extreme  pro 
ficiency  elicited  the  praise  and  a  marked  encomium  very 
flattering  to  the  young  soldier  from  the  brother  of  the  late 
Emperor  of  Austria,  then  Viceroy  of  the  Austro-Italian 
States.  Nolan  originally  was  an  officer  in  an  Austrian 


CAPTAIN  NOLAN,   OF   THE    15TH   HUSSARS.  199 

hussar  regiment,  and  was  orderly  officer  to  his  colonel  on 
the  occasion  of  the  Grand  Duke  reviewing  the  troops  at 
Milan.  The  colonel  mentioned  to  His  Imperial  Highness 
that  he  had  a  young  officer  in  his  regiment  with  whom  he 
was  desirous  he  should  converse,  being  a  great  linguist 
himself,  as  he  wished  His  Imperial  Highness  afterward  to 
say  to  what  country  he  belonged.  The  Grand  Duke 
smiled,  and  desired  the  colonel  to  present  to  him  this  young 
master  of  languages.  His  Imperial  Highness  first  ad 
dressed  Nolan  in  Hungarian,  who  replied  with  fluency  and 
correctness.  He  then  went  to  Polish  (Nolan's  regiment 
had  been  stationed  on  the  borders  of  Poland),  and  here  he 
was  equally  at  home ;  Italian  and  German  followed  with 
the  same  result.  Next  came  English,  and  lastly  French. 
The  Duke  then  said :  "  Colonel,  all  you  told  me  of  this 
young  officer  is  true  ;  and  it  is  only  from  his  light  hair  and 
mustache  that  I  see  he  is  German."  "  No,  sir,  he  is  an 
Englishman ; "  at  which  he  expressed  extreme  surprise, 
looking  upon  it  as  something  marvellous  to  find  so  accom 
plished  a  modern  linguist  in  one  of  my  countrymen.  A 
melancholy  and  striking  incident  was  related  to  me  by  a 
Crimean  officer  in  connection  with  poor  Nolan's  death. 
His  friend  Morris,  of  the  17th  Lancers  (Colonel  W.  Morris, 
C.  B.,  who  died  a  few  years  since  at  Bombay,  when  Assist 
ant  Adjutant-General),  and  himself  had  exchanged  letters, 
Nolan's  addressed  to  his  mother,  and  Morris's  to  a  member 
of  his  family.  Morris  was  severely  wounded  in  the  charge, 
and,  being  unhorsed,  was  staggering  back  bleeding  from 
his  wounds.  At  last,  from  exhaustion,  he  fell  down  along 
side  a  dead  soldier.  That  soldier  proved  to  be  Lewis 
Nolan,  in  whose  pocket  was  found  Morris's  letter,  and  in 
Morris's  pocket  was  that  of  Nolan. 


200  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

88.    General  Lord  Lynedoch  and  his  Trees. 

The  late  Mr.  Robert  Cockburn,  brother  of  Lord  Cock- 
burn,  an  eminent  Scotch  judge,  told  me  an  anecdote  of  the 
brave  old  general  in  his  capacity  as  a  Perthshire  land 
owner.  Mr.  Cockburn  was  on  a  visit  to  the  hero  of 
Barossa,  either  at  Balgowan  or  Lynedoch,  and  just  as  the 
visitors,  who  were  on  horseback,  were  about  to  close  their 
afternoon  ride,  the  old  general  said :  "  I  must  show  you 
some  trees  in  which  I  take  more  than  a  common  interest, 
for  this  is  their  birthday."  The  party  having  reached  the 
trees  in  question,  he  told  his  friends :  "  It  is  eighty  years 
to-day  since  they  were  planted  by  my  brothers  and  myself; 
they  look  all  well  and  healthy,  and  I  don't  think  I  have 
any  thing  to  complain  of  in  that  respect." 

I  once  met  Lord  L}^nedoch  in  London  on  an  exciting 
occasion.  I  think  it  was  after  General  Sir  de  Lacy  Evans's 
return  from  the  command  of  the  British  legion  sent  to  Spain 
in  1835.  We  were  giving  a  public  dinner  in  the  Freema 
sons'  Tavern  to  General  Mina,  the  famous  guerrilla  chief, 
whose  desultory  mode  of  warfare,  by  harassing  the  French 
armies  with  constant  attacks  on  different  points  by  inde 
pendent  bands  acting  in  a  mountainous  country,  was  adopted 
with  varying  success  in  the  north  of  Spain  during  the  Penin 
sular  War.  Lord  Lynedoch  took  the  chair;  he  was  then  in 
his  85th  or  86th  year.  Next  to  General  Mina  sat  Senor 
Arguelles,  known  in  the  Spanish  Cortes  as  the  "  divine 
Arguelles."  Our  venerable  chairman,  in  spite  of  his  great 
age,  painted  in  glowing  colors  a  few  of  the  more  prominent 
features  of  the  guerrilla  general's  military  career,  some  of 
which  were  highly  amusing.  Lord  Lynedoch  subsequently 
proposed  the  health  of  Senor  Arguelles,  beginning  his 
speech  by  reminding  us  that  during  the  French  invasion 
the  Cortes  were  convoked  at  Cadiz,  where  the  affairs  of  the 
Spanish  nation  were  conducted  during  the  war  of  inde- 


LORD   LYNEDOCH  AND   HIS  TREES.  201 

pendence.  Lord  Lynedoch,  as  we  know,  commanded  the 
division  of  the  Duke  of  Wellington's  army  in  and  around 
Cadiz,  near  which  is  the  battle-field  of  Barossa,  which  I 
visited  in  1839.  His  Lordship  now  proceeded  with  his 
toast :  "  One  day  I  was  absolutely  pestered  by  officers 
coming  to  me  asking  for  leave,  and  the  very  natural  con 
clusion  I  arrived  at  was  that  a  bull-fight  was  coming  off ;  I 
was  rapidly  losing  all  patience,  but  not  my  temper,  which 
was  as  rapidly  increasing  as  the  former  was  diminishing, 
when  in  walked  a  steady,  middle-aged  officer  to  ask  for  the 
day's  leave.  I  stared  at  him  with  astonishment.  '  Are 
you  going  with  that  pack  of  youngsters  to  a  bull-fight  ? ' 
'  Oh  no,  general,  we  are  hurrying  off  to  the  Cortes,  as  the 
divine  Arguelles  is  expected  to  speak.'  Through  a  miscon 
ception  I  had  nearly  prevented  them  from  going,  but  I  shall 
not  deprive  you  any  longer  now  of  listening  to  the  illus 
trious  statesman,  not,  however,  in  the  Cortes,  but  in  the 
Freemasons'  Tavern."  Although  Senor  Arguelles  is  said 
to  be  an  accomplished  English  scholar,  I  endeavored  to 
"  dwell  on  the  melting  music  of  his  tongue,"  but  the  refer 
ence  to  the  Cortes  had  carried  him  back  to  the  language 
of  the  Cortes,  so  that  the  magic  influence  of  that  eloquence 
which  had  almost  emptied  Lord  Lynedoch's  camp  of  its 
officers  was  in  a  great  measure  lost  on  those  who  were  not 
Spanish  scholars ;  still,  it  was  gratifying  even  to  have  spent 
a  few  hours  in  the  society  of  a  man  of  whom  the  world  had 
heard  so  much,  and  from  whose  lips  "  resistless  streams  of 
oratory  rolled."  To  those  who  were  not  born  until  long 
after  General  Sir  Thomas  Graham  had  fought  the  battle  of 
Barossa  (March  5,  1811),  or  who  are  only  commencing  a 
military  career,  it  may  interest  them  to  know  that  Thomas 
Graham,  of  Lynedoch — created  in  1814  Lord  Lynedoch — 
did  not  enter  the  army  until  he  was  forty-five  years  of  age, 
at  which  time  of  life  Wellington  had  nearly  closed  his  ac 
tive  career  at  Waterloo.  He  was  suffering  under  severe 


202  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

domestic  affliction  in  the  loss  of  a  young  wife,  a  daughter 
of  Charles,  ninth  Lord  Cathcart,  and  in  consequence  he 
sought  occupation  in  an  active  profession.  He  had  com 
manded  a  regiment  of  militia  in  Scotland,  and  had  the 
rank  of  lieutenant-colonel  confirmed  to  him  on  entering 
the  service,  by  bringing  with  him  a  body  of  kilted  High 
landers. 

He  died  in  December,  1843,  in  his  ninety-third  year,  and 
was  succeeded  in  the  command  of  the  First  (the  Royal)  Regi 
ment  by  General  the  Right  Hon.  Sir  George  Murray. 

89.   The  Major  (par  Excellence}. 

A  wealthy  but  most  unostentatious  friend  of  mine  pos 
sessed  an  estate  of  a  few  hundred  acres  in  one  of  the  me 
tropolitan  counties,  about  twenty  miles  from  London,  and 
he  had  a  neighbor  whom  he  could  not  endure,  called  the 
major.  The  gallant  individual  in  question,  my  friend 
alleged,  by  "  toadying  "  the  lord-lieutenant  of  some  Scotch 
county,  had  attained  the  lofty  position  of  major  in  His 

Majesty's Regiment  of  North  British  Militia.      But 

there  was  a  mystery  as  to  the  particular  Scotch  county 
which  had  given  him  birth.  I  was  consulted  once  on  the 
point,  and  as  one  Scotchman  can  generally  detect  another's 

county  accent,  I  declared  in  favor  of  the  county  of , 

especially  when  I  found  that  the  major,  on  learning  that  I 
was  a  Scotchman,  began  instanter  to  anglicise  his  Scotch. 
A  lucky  thought  struck  the  major,  that  he  would  migrate 
from  the  banks  of  the  Tweed,  Clyde,  or  Tay,  to  those  of  the 
Thames,  where  the  militia  field-officer's  rank  might  possibly 
be  turned  into  available  capital.  The  major  was  evidently 
born  under  a  lucky  star,  for  after  some  inquiries,  he  de 
termined  to  take  up  his  residence  in  the  district  of  So-and- 
so,  in shire,  where  he  gave  out  in  strict  confidence,  to 

all  whom  he  came  across,  "  that  he  wud  never  rest  sa-tisfied 
until  he  had  ma-r led  into  a  coonty  fa-mily,  for  he  liked  the 


THE   MAJOR  (PAR  EXCELLENCE).  203 

coonty"  The  light  of  the  major's  military  rank  was  not 
allowed  to  be  placed  under  a  bushel,  as  he  was  to  be  found 
constantly  hovering  about  all  county  meetings,  Boards  of 
Guardians,  etc.,  most  desirous,  as  he  wished  it  to  be  under 
stock,  "  to  mak  himself  ga-nerally  useful."  It  soon  became 
rumored  that  the  major's  attentions,  followed  at  some  dis 
tance  by  his  affections,  had  suddenly  settled  upon  a  poor 
invalid  lady,  who  had  an  excellent  fortune,  and  belonged 
to  a  coonty fa-mily.  The  malady  under  which  she  suffered 
might  have  been  a  difficulty  to  most  men,  but  my  country 
man  viewed  it  differently.  The  afflicted  lady  required  a 
protector ;  and  who  so  well  suited  for  the  position  as  the 
major  ?  My  friend  declared  that  it  was  a  scandal  to  our 
Church  to  have  permitted  the  union,  but  I  may  here  observe 
that  I  always  heard  that  the  major  took  great  care  of  her. 
She  resided  throughout  her  seclusion  in  her  own  house,  the 
major  regulating  the  household  and  the  banker's  account. 
She  predeceased  him  a  very  few  years.  Her  means  added 
to  his  own  soon  secured  for  the  major  the  position  of  an 
English  coonty  magistrate,  and  his  honors  did  not  stop  until 
he  was  made  deputy-lieutenant,  thereby  giving  him  the 
military  precedence  of  a  lieutenant-colonel  in  the  army. 

The  major  was  a  sportsman,  and  wished  very  much  to 
gratify  his  tastes  in  the  covers  of  my  friend ;  but  when  the 
usual  annual  request  on  this  subject  was  submitted,  it  met 
with  the  uniform  response,  that  although  he  never  himself 
shot,  he  kept  his  shooting  invariably  for  his  London  friends, 
two  of  whom  were  my  brother  and  myself.  Nothing  daunt 
ed,  every  season  the  major  "renewed  his  motion,"  but 
during  all  the  years  he  brought  it  forward,  it  never  even 
passed  a  first  reading.  After  dinner,  among  the  first  ques 
tions  we  asked  our  friend  was,  "  How  is  the  dear  major  ?  " 
"  Oh,  confound  the  major  ! "  We  knew  this  would  bring 
out  something  in  which  the  major  had  been  making  himself 
the  hero.  "  How  that  man  can  be  so  mean-spirited  wheu 


204  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

he  must  see  I  wish  to  avoid  him !  I  have  never  been,  as 
you  know,  in  Scotland ;  but  surely  you  have  not  another 
man  in  it  like  the  major — now — have  you  ?  "  "  Well,  "  I 
said,  "  it  is  just  possible  we  may  have  another."  "  You 
cannot,  indeed;  the  major  is  not  to  be  matched  in  any 
clime  or  society.  He  bores  me  to  death ;  in  fact,  had  he 
resided  here  before  me,  I  should  not  have  purchased  the 
property.  I  cannot  shake  him  off,  do  what  I  will ;  only 
last  Sunday  in  our  church,  he  saw  I  had  a  few  friends,  and 
that  our  pew  would  be  full.  He  was  out  of  his  into  the 

aisle  in  an  instant,  *  Maister ,  there's  plenty  o'  room  in 

ma  sate.1  Fortunately,  a  friend  of  mine  had  opened  the 
door  of  his  pew,  and  I  got  my  party  the  seats  they  required. 
But  did  I  tell  you  the  story  of  him  and  our  fishmonger  in 
the  village  ?  for  there  is  the  man  all  over."  We  requested 
our  friend  to  proceed  in  his  second  charge  against  the  ma 
jor.  "It  appears  that  he  went  to  the  fishmonger,  and  in 
his  detestable  Scotch  twang,  l  Fishmonger,  I  wish  to  speak 
with  you  sa-riously?  '  Well,  sir.'  '  You  charge  me  a  deevil 
o'  a  price  for  your  fish.'  '  I  am  sorry  you  think  so,  sir.' 
*  You  do  indeed ;  noo  understand  me,  I  donrtt  mean  to  say, 
fishmonger,  your  fish  is  not  guid — far  from  it.  It's  very 
yuid  fish.  It  is  excellent,  but  it  is  awsomely 1  dear.  JVoo, 
fishmonger,  I  want  to  mak  an  arrangement  with  you,  as 
I  donrft  wish  to  go  by  you,  or  bring  ma  fish  from  London. 
It  may  answer  your  purpose,  and  it  will  answer  mine,  for  I 
was  always  through  life  fond  o'  fish  ;  but  I  will  not  go  on 
paying  the  price  you  charge.  Noo,  what  I  want  to  propose 
to  you  is  this,  that  as  I  donrft  object  to  eating  second  day's 
fish,  provided  you  mak  a  corresponding  reduction  o'  price, 
you'll  find  me  a  steady  and  constant  customer.'  Now,  I  ask 
you  what  you  think  of  your  countryman  ?  "  "  But,  my 
good  friend,  do  not  be  too  severe,  for  Scotchmen  are  not 
exceptional ;  de  gustibus  non  est  disputandum." 
1  terribly. 


THE  MAJOR  (PAR  EXCELLENCE).  205 

My  friend,  who  was  extremely  hospitable,  had  his  town- 
house  ;  and  it  was  impossible  for  the  conversation  to  close 
after  dinner  without  some  one  asking  for  his  friend  the 
major,  and  if  there  was  any  thing  new  in  that  quarter. 
Our  host  was  a  peculiarly  quiet,  gentlemanly  man,  one 
who  could  command  every  luxury  of  this  world ;  but  whether 
in  the  arrangements  of  his  table,  his  stable,  or  his  house 
hold,  he  showed  in  the  retirement  of  private  life  the  same 
good  taste  that  characterized  him  in  his  intercourse  with 
the  busy  world.  Had  the  major  made  him  his  model  when 

he  entered  the  coonty  of ,  and  laid  aside  all  his  "  blaw 

and  blether,"  :  he  might  have  had  a  popular  passage  through 
life ;  but  his  little  failings,  among  which  pomposity  stood 
prominent,  made  him  the  laughing-stock  of  those  with  whom 
he  was  brought  into  contact.  My  friend  generally  wound 
up  his  observations  thus :  "  I  know  nothing  of  Scotland, 
but  I  know  what  a  gentleman  is.  "  "  Well,  for  my  part," 
I  said,  "  I  think  you  would  be  very  dull  without  the  major, 
for  he  is  the  cause  of  more  good  stories  than  any  man  I 
know." 

The  major  received  one  day  a  terrible  blow,  which  near 
ly  killed  him,  and  confined  him  to  his  bed  for  a  whole  week. 
I  had  gone  to  dine  with  my  friend  (the  major's  neebor)  at 
his  town-house,  and  on  reaching  the  drawing-room,  found 
that  the  major  was  the  subject  of  a  very  serious  conversa 
tion  connected  with  an  affair  that  had  that  day  exploded 
and  created  a  general  panic  on  'Change,  and  throughout 
London.  About  a  week  or  ten  days  previously,  the  major 
met  our  friend  in  the  country.  "  Maister"  said  he,  "  as  I 
always  wish  to  be  on  frienly  terms,  and  as  I  know  you  to 
be  a  vera  rich  man,  with  always  a  large  amoont  o'  spare 
capital  at  command,  I  wished  to  call  your  attention  to  some 
JExchaquer  bills  that  yield  a  half  per  cent,  higher  interest 
than  the  others  do.  There  has  onnty  been  a  quarter  o'  a 
1  inflation  and  nonsense. 


206  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

million  o'  them  issued,  and  as  a  great  favor  to  myself,  and 
as  a  half  per  cent,  is  a  half  per  cent,  noo  a  days,  they  have 
kindly  let  me  have  £14,000  o'  them,  and  I  thocht  it  onrily 
frienly  and  neeborly  to  call  your  nottice  to  them."  The 
poor  major  soon  afterward  discovered  that  he  had  invest 
ed  his  £14,000  in  some  spurious  Exchequer  bills  which  had 
been  abstracted,  altered,  and  countersigned  by  a  delinquent 
government  clerk.  He  subsequently  received  his  money — 
not  however,  until  he  had  undergone  months  of  mental  tor 
ture  and  deep  anxiety,  during  which  he  was  sorely  tried  by 
some  of  his  neebors,  telling  him  that  an  additional  half  per 
cent,  on  Exchaquer  bills  was  not  always  a  half  per  cent,  in 
banco. 

90.   The  Late  Miss  Anne  Sutton. 

I  was  formerly  on  terms  of  friendship  with  the  late  Miss 
Anne  Sutton,  who  was  an  excellent  person,  and  had  made 
herself  somewhat  remarkable  through  life  by  strictly  con 
fining  her  charities  within  one  channel,  namely,  in  support 
of  the  societies  for  the  suppression  of  cruelty  to  animals. 
On  my  first  introduction  to  her,  she  became  most  favorably 
impressed  toward  me  on  discovering  that  I  had  formerly 
known  one  whom  she  had  never  seen,  but  whose  name  she 
revered  beyond  any  other,  Mr.  Richard  Martin,  M.  P.  for 
the  county  of  Galway,  so  well  known  in  the  Irish  House  of 
Commons  previous  to  the  Union,  as  "  Dicky  Martin,"  and 
subsequently  in  the  Parliament  of  the  United  Kingdom  as 
"  Humanity  Martin."  I  do  not  know  what  the  conse 
quences  might  have  been — as  Mr.  Martin  was  an  excellent 
husband  and  father — had  he  been  alive,  and  I  had  been  the 
medium  of  introduction  between  Miss  Sutton  and  the  Lord 
of  Connemara — the  head  of  one  of  Galway's  most  "  ancient 
tribes  ;  "  they  must  inevitably  have  run  in  the  same  groove 
for  the  rest  of  their  lives,  for  she  perfectly  idolized  the 
name  of  Richard  Martin  of  Ballinahinch  Castle.  Their 


THE   LATE   MISS  ANNE   SUTTON.  207 

sympathies  flowed  from  the  same  source,  and  I  am  con 
vinced  from  personal  observation  they  must  have  blended 
and  united  to  any  imaginable  extent  in  the  suppression  of 
horsewhips  and  spurs,  and  not  improbably  in  the  use  of 
butcher's-meat  itself.  Miss  Sutton  was  at  all  times  pre 
pared  to  subscribe  her  £100,  or  more  if  required,  for  a 
monument  in  Westminster  Abbey,  and  another  £100  for 
the  erection  of  a  pillar  on  the  highest  mountain  in  Ireland, 
"  To  the  Memory  of  Richard  Martin,  the  Friend  and  Pro 
tector  of  the  Poor  Dumb  Animal."  I  recollect  calling  to 
her  notice  one  peculiarity  of  Mr.  Martin  which  appeared  to 
me  at  variance  with  his  principles  of  conduct  toward  the 
brute  creation,  as  I  considered  they  might  also  have  been 
extended  with  advantage  to  the  human  family.  I  described 
to  Miss  Sutton  the  famous  Donnybrook  Fair,  and  told  her 
that  in  a  conversation  I  had  with  Mr.  Martin,  and  alluding 
to  the  broken  heads  that  usually  resulted  from  that  annual 
gathering,  I  had  said  to  him,  "  You  would,  of  course,  not 
recommend  me,  were  I  ever  to  attend  that  or  any  similar 
fair  in  Ireland,  to  carry  my  shillelagh,  or  knotted  thorn- 
stick,  with  me  ?  "  "  All  I  can  tell  you,"  said  he, "  you  would 
be  a  big  fool  if  you  went  without  it,  for  a  crack  over  the 
showlder  or  aven  the  head  does  Paddy  not  a  haporth  of 
harm."  She  listened  with  marked  attention  to  my  little  di 
vergence  on  the  use  of  the  shillelagh,  or  thorn-stick,  at  an 
Irish  fair ;  but  fearing  that  I  might  even  unintentionally 
lower  her  beau  ideal  of  a  statesman  and  a  man  of  feeling 
one  step  of  the  pedestal  he  occupied  in  her  estimation,  she 
parried  my  question  by  saying  that  she  had  never  been  in 
Ireland,  and  therefore  could  not  offer  an  opinion.  I  left 
this  questionable  ground  to  inform  her  that  Mr.  Martin  had 
mentioned  to  me  that  his  bill  for  the  suppression  of  cruelty 
to  animals  was  introduced  by  him  in  the  fewest  possible 
words  ever  previously  known.  "That  interesting  fact," 
Miss  Sutton  declared, "  I  was  not  aware  of;  but  this  I  know 


208  REMIXISCEXCES   OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

— it  is  the  best  Act  of  Parliament  ever  passed  by  the  Legis 
lature." 

She  was  a  placid,  silent,  and  retiring  person — the  per 
sonification  of  mildness ;  and  I  can  say  in  all  sincerity  that, 
until  the  scene  occurred  which  I  am  about  to  describe  with 
in  my  knowledge  and  observation, "  her  passion  ne'er  brake 
into  the  extremity  of  rage."  I  was  somewhat  busily  en 
gaged  in  my  private  room  when  Miss  Sutton  was  an 
nounced,  and,  on  rising  to  receive  her,  I  felt  that  I  was 
greeting  one  who  had  raised  herself  by  her  actions  very 
high  not  onlv  in  my  estimation,  but  of  all  those  who  could 
understand  and  appreciate  her.  As  the  poor  lady  could 
scarcely  address  me  in  her  excitement,  I  took  the  initiative, 
at  the  same  time  begging  her  to  be  seated  and  to  be  tran 
quil.  She  clasped  my  hand  with  more  than  her  usual  cor 
diality,  and  then  told  me  that,  on  going  to  the  Bank  of 
England  to  receive  her  half-yearly  dividends,  a  man  there 
— "no,  not  a  man,"  she  exclaimed,  "a  brute  "(I  immediate 
ly  thought  of  the  Society  for  the  Suppression  of  Cruelty  to 
Animals), "  told  me, '  Why,  madam,  you  are  dead  ! '  '  Dead  ! 
What  do  you  mean  ?  I  am  addressing  you.'  *  Well,  mad 
am,  I  cannot  help  that;  you  are  made  dead  here,  and  I  can 
not  pay  you  any  dividend.'  I  demanded  what  right  he  had 
to  make  me  dead  when  at  that  moment  I  was  speaking  to 
him?  "  By  this  short  and  pungent  recital  of  her  wrongs, 
I  was  attacked  with  a  viofent  and  irresistible  fit  of  laugh 
ing  even  on  so  grave  a  subject.  This,  I  observed,  caused 
my  amiable  friend  much  surprise ;  but  as  soon  as  my  own 
power  of  articulation  returned,  I  assured  her  she  should  be 
restored  to  life  at  the  Bank  of  England  in  a  very  few 
minutes.  I  then  accompanied  her  to  the  great  national  es 
tablishment.  Hanging  firmly  on  my  arm,  walking  with  a 
strong  step,  and  with  a  decisive  expression  of  countenance, 
which  I  can  still  recall,  she  placed  herself  in  front  of  the 
official  who  had  told  her  that  she  had  "been  made  dead." 


THE   LATE  MISS  ANNE   SUTTON.  209 

My  risible  faculties  were  once  more  aroused,  so  as  to  be 
entirely  beyond  my  control.  She  instantly  opened  upon 
one  of  the  mildest  and  most  obliging  of  men.  "  Do  you 
mean,  sir,  still  to  say  I  am  dead  ?  "  "  Why,  madam,  you 
are  made  dead  in  our  books."  She  then  turned  round 
hurriedly  to  me.  "  I  am  glad  you  have  heard  him  apply 
•the  word  dead  to  me."  The  attack  was  now  resumed  on 
her  gentlemanly  and  urbane  opponent,  by  declaring  most 
emphatically  that  he  should  be  ashamed  of  himself.  The 
gordian  knot  was  soon  untied.  My  friend  was  described  in 
the  books  of  the  Bank  of  England  as  "  Anne  Sutton  of 
Cheltenham,  Spinster ;  "  but  there  was  another  Anne  Sut 
ton,  a  stockholder,  and  moreover  a  spinster,  who  had  ac 
tually  departed  this  life,  whose  death  had  been  duly  an 
nounced  in  the  obituary  of  the  Times,  and  in  registering 
the  probate  of  her  will  the  mistake  arose — to  wit,  the  dead 
Anne  Sutton  was  kept  alive  by  the  Bank,  and  the  live 
Anne  Sutton  wras  made  dead.  My  friend  was  now  speed 
ily  calmed  by  seeing  her  namesake  made  dead  instead  of 
herself.  I  now  told  her  that  I  had  a  matter  to  arrange 
with  her  in  connection  with  this  affair,  as  she  must  not 
overlook  the  fact  that  she  had  used  rather  violent  language 
toward  a  meek  and  courteous  man,  so  much  so,  that  could 
I  have  anticipated  the  event  of  that  day,  I  should  have  per 
suaded  my  friend,  Mr.  Richard  Martin,  in  applying  to  Par 
liament  for  an  act  fcr  the  suppression  of  cruelty  to  animals 
to  have  inserted  a  special  clause  for  the  protection  of  the 
gentlemen  of  the  Bank  of  England.  My  appeal  to  her  was 
at  once  responded  to ;  the  amende  being  made  to  the 
gentleman  in  question ;  but  Miss  Sutton  maintained  that 
she  was  fully  justified  in  the  protest  she  had  offered  against 
being  made  dead  before  her  time. 


210  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

91.    The  Melancholy  Death  of  a  Highland  Chief. 

The  following  incident  was  related  to  me  with  much 
feeling  and  pathos  by  a  Highland  gentleman,  himself  a 
chieftain,  and  very  conversant  with  Celtic  history. 

The  chief  of  the  Mackinnons  died  at  Leith  in  1808,  in 
great  pecuniary  distress :  he  wrote  as  follows  to  Coll  Mac- 
donald  of  Dalness,  a  writer  to  the  Signet  in  Edinburgh : 

"  MY  DEAR  SIR  :  Not  to  perish  from  want,  I  have  re 
solved  to  put  a  period  to  my  existence.  • 

"  For  particular  reasons,  I  do  not  shoot  myself  in  a  mor 
tal  place ;  and  if  you  will  come  quickly,  you  will  be  still  in 
time  to  see  the  last  of  the  unfortunate 

"  MACKINXOX." 

Mr.  Macdonald  started  immediately,  but  on  his  arrival 
at  the  poor  chief's  lodgings  in  Leith  found  that  he  was 
dead,  having,  in  ignorance  of  anatomy,  shot  himself  in  a 
place,  as  it  turned  out,  peculiarly  mortal — namely,  in  the 
thigh,  causing  haemorrhage  which  proved  in  a  few  minutes 
fatal. 

I  sent  a  copy  of  the  above  melancholy  epistle  to  the 
present  Mr.  Mackinnon  of  Corry,  in  the  Isle  of  Skye,  who 
replied,  saying :  "  I  think  it  must  have  been  the  last  Laird 
John,  who  died  in  1808,  who  wrote  that  touching  letter  of 
which  you  send  me  a  copy."  Mr.  Mackinnon  adds  that  the 
deceased  chief  "  was  a  highly-cultivated  man." 

The  letter  is  truly  Johnsonian,  and  verifies  the  remark 
of  Mr.  Mackinnon. 

92.    How  B.  B.  managed  to  be  present  in  Westminster 
Abbey  at  the  Coronation  of  Queen  Victoria. 

The  late  Mr.  Thomas  Young,  when  a  bachelor,  lived  in 
the  Albany,  Piccadilly,  where  I  frequently  dined  with  him. 
His  dinners  were  very  attractive,  not  so  much  from  their 


B.  B.  AT  THE  CORONATION  OF  QUEEN  VICTORIA.     211 

recherche  character,  as  from  the  delightful  circle  of  political 
and  literary  friends  who  met  at  his  hospitable  table. 

On  the  occasion  to  which  I  am  about  to  refer  I  was  not 
present,  so  I  am  obliged  to  tell  my  tale  at  second-hand. 

The  chief  topic  of  conversation  was  Her  Majesty's  coro 
nation,  which  was  to  take  place  in  a  few  days.  It  appeared 
that  eleven  out  of  the  twelve  at  dinner  had  secured  tickets 
of  admission  for  the  ceremony  in  Westminster  Abbey,  my 
brother  being  the  only  exception.  Mr.  Young,  in  addition 
to  an  official  appointment  under  Government,  the  duties  of 
which  were  not  onerous,  was  private  secretary  to  Lord 
Melbourne  during  his  premiership,  and  from  the  kind  acts 
he  performed  in  lending  a  helping  hand  where  he  was  satis 
fied  the  candidate  was  an  efficient  person,  he  was  familiarly 
styled  in  the  social  circle,  by  way  of  sobriquet,  the  Deputy 
Premier. 

He  had  the  private  room  of  almost  every  banking  and 
mercantile  house  in  the  City  open  to  him  at  all  times,  and 
during  the  sitting  of  Parliament  he  usually  came  Eastward 
between  three  and  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  to  pick  up 
news,  so  that  at  the  meeting  of  the  House,  the  first  Lord 
of  the  Treasury  was  made  au  courant  as  to  whether  the 
Bank  of  England  had  raised  or  lowered  the  rate  of  interest; 
in  what  position  the  cotton,  sugar,  corn,  and  wool  markets 
stood ;  whether  matters  were  buoyant  or  depressed  in  Min 
cing  and  Mark  Lanes ;  the  state  of  credit  in  Lombard  Street, 
and  on  the  Exchange ;  what  was  doing  in  stocks,  etc.  What 
ever  changes  of  importance  had  occurred  from  the  previous 
day,  the  Prime  Minister  had  his  synopsis  furnished  him  by 
his  very  able  and  accomplished  private  secretary,  who  was 
also,  to  some  extent,  a  member  of  the  Commercial  Cojn- 
munity,  as  an  original,  or  at  all  events  a  very  early  director 
of  the  London  and  Northwestern  Railway,  and  on  the 
board  of  more  than  one  of  our  Joint  Stock  and  Colonial 
Banks,  Insurance  Companies,  etc. 


212  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

The  conversation  becoming  almost  entirely  absorbed  in 
the  pageant  that  was  to  come  off,  my  brother  expressed  his 
regret  that  he  alone  of  the  party  should  be  under  the  salt 
in  regard  to  a  ticket,  and  appealed  to  his  host,  as  Deputy 
Prime  Minister,  to  procure  him  one.  The  request  caused  a 
laugh  around  the  table — the  bare  idea  of  obtaining  a  ticket 
for  the  great  ceremonial  within  four  or  five  days  of  its  taking 
place  was  deemed  something  utterly  absurd.  My  brother, 
seeing  that  Whitehall  influence  would  not  avail  him,  closecl 
his  part  of  the  conversation  on  coronation  matters  by  simply 
observing,  "  I  must  manage  to  be  there." 

Whether  the  Royal  portal  through  which  he  subse 
quently  entered  the  Abbey  had  struck  him  at  the  moment, 
I  am  not  aware;  at  all  events  he  kept  it  to  himself;  but 
next  day  he  thought  he  might  succeed  through  the  Duke 
of  Sussex,  and  accordingly  in  the  afternoon  he  found  his 
way  to  Kensington  Palace.  He  had  had  the  honor  of 
occasionally  meeting  his  Royal  Highness  at  the  dinners  of 
the  Highland  Society  of  London ;  he  therefore  added  to  his 
card,  "  Member  of  the  Court  of  the  Highland  Society  of 
London,"  and  was  at  once  ushered  into  His  Royal  High- 
ness's  presence,  who  graciously  recognized  him  and  gave 
him  a  hearty  reception.  He  broke  the  ice  with  his  Royal 
Highness  by  alluding  to  diffidence  not  being  a  very  promi 
nent  feature  with  Scotchmen,  and  then  expressed  his  great 
desire  to  witness  the  coronation  in  Westminster  Abbey,  to 
which  the  Duke  at  once  replied,  "  And  so  you  shall."  His 
Royal  Highness  even  went  into  the  question  of  attire,  and 
which  was  settled  should  be  the  dress  uniform  of  the  Royal 
Yacht  Club,  my  brother  being  a  member  of  that  squadron. 
A  Royal  command  to  an  earlv  breakfast  at  Kensington 
Palace,  with  a  seat  in  a  Royal  carriage  to  Westminster 
Abbey,  followed. 

"What  was  my  astonishment,"  said  Mr.  Young,  in 
telling  me  the  story  on  my  return  from  the  Continent,  "  I 


MR.   RICHARD   JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  213 

leave  you  to  conceive,  on  entering  the  Abbey  and  taking 
my  seat,  to  observe  your  brother  in  the  Royal  circle,  in  full 
conversation  with  the  Duke  of  Sussex,  who  was  laughing 
very  heartily  at,  no  doubt,  some  good  Scotch  anecdote. 

"  My  friends  who  had  dined  with  me  a  few  days  before, 
were  equally  surprised  to  see  your  brother  so  comfortably 
located  in  juxtaposition  with  Royalty.  The  puzzle  to  their 
minds  and  my  own  was  a  most  difficult  one,  how  it  had 
been  accomplished ;  and  your  brother,  although  we  pressed 
him  hard,  allowed  the  fever  of  the  coronation  partially  to 
subside,  before  he  gratified  our  curiosity." 

93.  The  Late  Mr.  Richard  Jones,  the  Comedian,  or,  as  he 
was  called,  " Gentleman  Jones" 

I  had  occasionally  to  speak  in  public,  and  having  cer 
tain  Scotticisms  from  which  I  wished  to  be  freed,  I  made 
up  my  mind  to  apply  to  Richard  Jones,  the  ex-comedian,  as 
an  elocutionary  instructor.  Aware  how  much  he  must  be 
occupied  with  his  pupils,  and  as  best  suiting  my  own  ar 
rangements,  I  found  myself  one  afternoon  between  five  and 
six  o'clock  pacing  up  and  down  Chapel  Street,  Grosvenor 
Place,  where  he  resided,  so  as  to  watch  the  first  exit  of  an 
elocution  pupil.  There  was  a  groom  riding  up  and  down, 
leading  his  master's  horse ;  and  just  as  the  clock  struck 
six,  out  issued  Sir  William  Molesworth  from  Mr.  Jones's 
house,  mounted  his  horse  and  rode  off.  The  rising  young 
statesman  was  one  of  Jones's  greatest  admirers,  as  well  as 
one  of  his  boldest  pupils,  for  he  never  minced  matters,  nor 
was  in  the  least  reticent  on  the  subject  of  reading  with 
Richard  Jones.  He  was  constantly  asked  in  the  House  of 
Commons  by  one  facetious  friend  or  other,  especially  before 
bringing  on  one  of  his  motions  on  Colonial  Reform,  "  Well, 
Molesworth,  and  how  is  Jones  ?  Have  you  been  up  in  the 
pulpit  to-day  ?  "  Jones  had  a  raised  desk  or  rostrum  from 


214  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS, 

which  the  student  delivered  his  prepared  speech.  "  Yes,  I 
have,"  replied  the  future  Colonial  Minister.  "Ah,  so  I 
thought ;  for  I  observed  the  nags  taking  their  usual  exer 
cise  in  Chapel  Street." 

During  my  course  of  reading  with  Mr.  Jones,  I  never 
heard  the  name  of  one  of  his  pupils  mentioned,  Sir  William 
Molesworth  excepted.  His  plan  was  not  only  to  correct 
pronunciation  and  modulate  emphasis,  but  also,  to  prevent 
a  recurrence  of  mistakes,  we  had  to  put  down  his  correc 
tions  in  a  little  pocket  companion,  or  vade  mecum,  to  be 
referred  to  at  leisure.  I  have  a  distinct  recollection  of  my 
instructor  asking  me  at  the  end  of  the  first  fortnight  to 
read  over  my  errata  to  him  ;  and  in  doing  so,  and  making 
up  the  list,  a  fearful  total  of  180  delinquencies  was  brought 
out  against  me  in  pronunciation  and  quantity.  "  Ah,"  he 
used  to  say,  "  they  can  teach  Greek  and  Latin  in  Scotland, 
but  not  English."  However,  by  way  of  encouragement 
for  me  to  persevere,  he  brought  forward  himself  as  an  in 
stance  to  show  what  a  provincial  might  overcome.  He  was 
a  native  of  Manchester,  and  a  nut  with  him  in  youth  was  a 
noot.  He  came  to  London  with  a  strong  letter  of  introduc 
tion  to  the  manager  of  one  of  the  theatres,  and  had  scarcely 
spoken  a  dozen  words  when  the  manager  told  him  that  he 
much  feared  that  he  had  mistaken  his  calling,  but  that  if, 
by  studying  under  ,  he  could  get  rid  of  his  deeply- 
rooted  Lancashire  dialect  in  six  months,  he  would  give  him 
a  fair  trial  when  the  theatre  reopened.  Jones  followed 
this  advice,  and  made  good  his  position  with  the  manager, 
having  thoroughly  overcome  the  provincial  dialect,  and 
afterward  rose  high  in  his  profession. 

His  dinner-parties,  which  were  frequent,  and  always 
delightful,  never  exceeded  eight,  including  Mrs.  Jones  and 
himself.  A  constant  guest  was  the  late  Honorable  Edmund 
Byng,  one  of  the  Commissioners  of  Colonial  Audit,  and 
long  connected  with  the  household  of  the  Duchess  of 


MR.   RICHARD   JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  215 

Kent.  He  had  nursed  the  infancy  and  watched  the  girl 
hood  of  her  who  now  rules  an  empire  on  one  portion  or 
other  of  which  the  sun  never  sets.  Mr.  Byng,  when  a  boy, 
was  a  page  to  the  Prince  of  Wales,  and  on  obtaining  his 
commission  in  the  Guards,  he  told  me  he  could  not  write 
the  simplest  note  without  half  the  words  being  incorrectly 
spelled.  He  joined  his  battalion  at  Gibraltar,  where  he 
had  to  commence  his  education,  the  educational  standard 
for  the  army  in  1780  not  being  quite  so  high  as  in  1870. 
He  always  spoke  in  language  of  deep  affection  of  the  illus 
trious  inmates  of  Kensington  Palace.  He  had  some  pecu 
liarities,  one  of  which  he  described  to  me  very  minutely, 
that  he  had  jocularly  forewarned  the  illustrious  Princess 
that  when  Providence'  removed  the  then  Sovereign,  and 
Kensington  Palace  was  exchanged  for  St.  James's,  he  would 
not  be  found  ever  presenting  himself  at  court.  He  was 
told  he  was  "  very  naughty,"  but  he  acted  up  to  it.  "  Well, 
as  you  will  not  come  to  see  me,  it  shall  not  prevent  my 
coming  to  see  you." 

The  late  Rev.  Doctor  Croly  frequently  dined  with  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Jones.  The  Doctor  was  an  agreeable  companion, 
though  on  one  occasion  he  placed  me,  as  the  youngest  man 
at  table,  in  a  position  of  embarrassment,  for,  being  a  giant 
in  conversation,  he  was  entitled  to  say,  "  When  I  ope  my 
lips  let  no  dog  bark."  The  reverend  gentleman  was  telling 
an  excellent  story  which  he  had  evidently  only  recently 
heard,  but  I  had  known  it  for  years  ;  and  at  one  point  of 
the  recital  his  memory  failed  him ;  he  hesitated  and  got 
among  the  shoals,  when  the  word  wanted  to  give  him  the 
key  and  again  make  him  "  master  of  the  situation,"  I  un 
fortunately  supplied.  He  stopped  abruptly,  and  requested 
I  should  continue  the  story.  All  the  party  saw  that  my 
interruption  was  the  slightest  possible ;  still,  the  Doctor, 
in  rather  a  patronizing  and  satirical  tone  begged  me  to  con 
clude  it,  as  he  had  nothing  further  to  say.  To  this  I  re- 


216  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

plied  that  I  should  never  presume  to  attempt  to  follow  out 
a  description  so  ably  commenced  by  Doctor  Croly,  but  if 
the  party  chose — having  long  known  the  amusing  circum 
stances — I  should  be  happy  to  relate  them,  as  I  had  often 
done  before,  in  my  own  way,  ab  initio.  I  did  so,  and 
Jones  made  us  all  laugh  by  turning  the  tables  against  the 
Doctor,  at  the  same  time  making  things  worse  for  me,  by 
an  allusion  to  the  Scotch  Thistle,  and  calling  out,  "  Nemo 
me  impune  lacessit"  He  then  told  his  reverend  guest,  in 
that  quaint  and  grave  style  in  which  he  was  so  happy,  that 
Jiis  loss  of  memory,  which  he  was  sorry  to  observe  in  regard 
to  an  important  word,  was  a  fortunate  circumstance,  as  it 
had  saved  an  excellent  story  in  his  (the  Doctor's)  hands 
from  shipwreck.  The  impeachment  was  acknowledged. 

Among  other  agreeable  people  I  have  met  at  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Jones's  table  were  the  late  Sir  William  Chatterton 
and  the  charming  and  accomplished  Lady  Chatterton.  Sir 
William  and  his  brother,  now  General  Sir  James  Chatter- 
ton,  as  youths  had  been  pupils  of  Mr.  Jones,  and  the 
greatest  mutual  regard  existed  between  them.  He  often 
alluded  to  the  younger  brother,  when  a  young  officer  of 
Dragoons,  finding  time  on  the  evening  of  June  18,  1815, 
on  the  field  of  Waterloo,  to  write  him  a  note  on  horseback 
(in  pencil,  I  believe)  to  tell  him  the  great  fight  was  over, 
showing  him  that  his  young  friend,  even  amid  the  con 
fusion  and  excitement  following  upon  the  events  of  that 
ever-memorable  day,  had  a  spare  thought  for  his  tutor. 

Few  men  knew  personally  more  of  the  political  and 
literary  characters  of  the  period  than  Jones,  and  his  anec 
dotes,  which  I  have  ofter  regretted  I  had  not  at  the  moment 
noted,  were  not  only  numerous  and  instructive,  but  most 
interesting. 

There  was  one  that  now  occurs  to  me :  the  circum 
stances  under  which  he  was  unexpectedly  presented  with  a 
testimonial,  in  the  shape  of  a  check  on  a  London  banker 


MR.   RICHARD  JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  217 

for  three  hundred  guineas  (£315).  He  was  sitting  in  his 
drawing-room  with  Mrs.  Jones,  when  the  servant  announced 
Lord  and  Lady .  He  had  long  had  the  honor  of  know 
ing  his  Lordship,  who  informed  him  he  had  come  to  see 

him  on  a  matter  of  importance  to  Lady and  himself. 

"  Jones,  I  am  sorry  to  tell  you  our  son  is  disappointing  us 
very  much  in  Parliament ;  he  is  so  idle,  and  seems  to  take 
no  interest  whatever  in  politics  ;  and  possessing  as  he  does 
first-rate  abilities,  we  looked  for  a  very  different  result. 
He  says  he  wants  pluck,  and  cannot  get  up  to  address  the 
House,  and  a  great  deal  more  trash  of  the  same  kind,  but 
I  ascribe  it  to  sheer  idleness.  However,  if  it  be  shyness 
or  mauvaise  honte^  I  wish  you,  Jones,  to  remove  it.  The 
dog,  next  week,  is  to  have  a  petition  from  his  constituents 
to  present,  and  he  threatens  to  shirk  the  duty,  and  ask  a 
friend  to  take  charge  of  it ;  this  has  put  me  so  much  out 
of  temper  that  I  have  come  to  talk  to  you.  Now,  I  am 
going  to  send  him  to  3rou,  to  show  him  that  to  present  a 
petition  is  not  a  very  alarming  affair ;  and  if  you  once  take 
him  in  hand,  it  will  be  all  right."  "  I  was  not,--'  said  Jones, 
"  to  reveal  having  received  any  parental  injunctions,  nor 
even  a  parental  visit.  The  youthful  senator,  whom  I  had 
never  previously  seen,  called  upon  me  with  his  father's 
card,  and  described  to  me  the  nervous  political  ailments 
under  which  he  suffered,  and  the  dilemma  and  fix  he  was  in 
with  a  confounded  petition  he  was  expected  to  present  in 
a  few  days.  'Well,'  said  I,  'let  us  tackle  this  ghost  at 
once  ;  and  in  order  to  do  so  I  shall  now  make  you  Speaker 
of  the  House  of  Commons,  by  requesting  you  to  get  into 
my  pulpit.'  The  election  of  Speaker  being  completed, 
I  took  up  a  bundle  of  papers,  and  soon  convinced  the 
youthful  member  that  his  '  present  fears  and  horrible 
imaginings,'  in  regard  to  the  presentation  of  a  petition, 
had  no  reality.  'Now,  we  must  change  places;  I  must 
constitute  myself  the  first  commoner  in  England,  by  taking 
10 


218  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

the  Speaker's  chair,  and  call  upon  you  to  present  your 
petition.'  Another  rehearsal  followed,  and  the  operation 
was  complete.  He  told  his  father  he  liked  me  very  much, 
and  described  to  him  minutely  the  pulpit  scene,  and  that 
he  was  going  to  read  with  me."  The  petition  proper  was 
presented,  laid  on  the  table  of  the  House  of  Commons  in 
due  form,  etc.,  Jones  witnessing  from  under  the  gallery  (of 
the  former  House)  how  his  protege  played  his  part.  The 
noble  lord  wrote  Jones  a  private  note,  giving  him  a  hint 

that  he  wished  his  son  very  much  to  speak  on  Mr.  M 's 

motion,  to  come  off  in  about  ten  days.  Jones  and  his  pupil 
had  become,  on  their  second  or  third  meeting,  great  friends. 
The  question  to  be  debated  Jones  brought  judiciously  on 
the  tapis,  asking  him  his  opinions  on  different  heads  of  the 
subject,  and  having  elicited  these,  he  suggested  that,  as  he 
appeared  so  well  up  in  it,  he  could  not  have  a  better  exer 
cise,  and  would  suggest  his  writing  out  what  he  would  say, 
supposing  he  had  occasion  to  speak  upon  it  at  a  county 
meeting  or  elsewhere.  This  advice  was  followed,  and  at 
their  next  meeting  in  Jones's  studio,  after  the  paper  had 
been  carefully  read  by  its  author,  Jones  then  ordered  his 
pupil  to  mount  the  rostrum.  "  Well,"  said  Jones,  when  he 
carne  down,  "  as  a  first  rehearsal,  I  like  your  speech  very 
much,  but  I  never  give  my  opinion  until  after  the  second, 
and  I  shall  hope  to  see  you  to-morrow  Afternoon.  In  the 
mean  time,  I  have  to  beg  that  you  will  read  over  your  notes 
once  or  twice,  so  as  to  impress  your  arguments  and  statis 
tics  firmly  on  the  memory." 

The  second  rehearsal  was  perfection ;  "  I  was,"  said 
Jones,  "  in  ecstasies  with  my  brilliant  pupil ;  but  my  work 
was  not  yet  complete,  for  I  had  now  before  me  a  task  that 
required  very  difficult,  or,  at  all  events,  delicate  handling, 
i.  e,  to  move  the  '  venue  '  from  my  sanctum  to  the  floor  of 
the  House  of  Commons.  *  Well,'  addressing  the  embryo 
statesman, '  do  you  mean  to  say  that  with  such  a  mastery 


MR.   RICHARD   JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  219 

of  facts  and  details  you  would  allow  Mr. 's  motion  to 

come  forward  without  taking  part  in  the  debate  ?  '  '  In 
deed,  I  would.'  *  Well,  all  I  shall  say  is  this,  that  if  you 
lose  such  an  opportunity  of  breaking  ground  within  St. 
Stephen's,  I  must  apply  to  you  a  trite,  but  not  the  less 
valuable,  adage :  "  You  are  not  worth  salt  to  your  por 
ridge  ;  "  and  further,  may  I  ask  you,  did  your  constituents 
send  you  to  Parliament  to  be  their  silent  member  ?  Every 
thing  must  have  a  beginning,  and  if  there  ever  was  a  question 
in  which  you  seem  at  home  it  is  this.'  My  departing  pupil 
laughed  heartily,  and  said  we  should  talk  over  this  branch 
of  the  question  at  the  next  reading."  Jones's  persuasion 
carried  the  day ;  a  brilliant  speech  in  Parliament  followed, 
and  Jones  listened  to  it  with  peculiar  attention,  as  may  be 

easily  conceived.     Lord  and  Lady called  upon  him 

next  day  to  congratulate  him  upon  breaking  the  Parlia 
mentary  egg  for  their  son,  on  which  occasion  they  pressed 
his  acceptance  of  the  draft  on  the  London  banker  to  which  I 
have  alluded.  "  That  son,"  said  Jones,  "  within  a  few  years 
became  a  Cabinet  Minister  and  one  of  our  ablest  debaters." 
Jones  never  lost  an  opportunity,  or  hesitated,  if  he 
could  secure  a  joke,  to  share  its  responsibility.  He  encour 
aged  me  in  a  trick  I  played  on  a  friend  in  London — a 
young  Scotch  laird  whose  politics  were  of  an  extremely  in 
definite  stamp.  He  had  a  mania  for  public  speaking,  and 
so  long  as  the  cacoethes  loquendi  could  be  gratified,  he 
would  lose  sight  of  the  precise  political  principles  which  he 
was  supposed  to  hold,  and  nothing  pleased  him  more  than 
that  the  party  replying  to  him  should  acknowledge  that  he 
had  a  difficulty  in  following  the  honorable  gentleman  in  his 
statement.  But  one  great  question  with  him  was  para 
mount  to  all  others ;  and  on  this,  and  this  only,  was  he 
consistent.  The  Corn  Laws,  he  felt,  must  be  retained  in 
their  pristine  integrity,  and  their  repeal  would  be  fraught 
with  utter  ruin  to  the  best  interests  of  Great  Britain ;  these 


220  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

laws,  therefore,  throughout  the  last  fe\v  years  of  their  exist 
ence  formed  his  great  staple  or  stock  speech.  One  after 
noon,  about  five  o'clock,  he  called  upon  my  brother  to  tell 
him  confidentially  that  the  following  Friday  evening  he 
was  to  address  a  meeting  at  Exeter  Hall  on  the  subject  of 
the  Corn  Laws ;  and  as  the  occasion  was  an  important  one, 
and  as  he  had  satisfied  himself  that  Parliament  would  never 
sanction  their  repeal,  he  was  desirous  that  my  brother 
should  hear  what  he  firmly  believed  to  be  the  correct  bear 
ings  of  the  whole  question.  I  happened  to  be  in  the  next 
room,  and  for  one  hour  had  listened  to  a  long  speech  from 
my  friend,  of  which  even  a  closed  door  did  not  deprive  me 
of  a  single  word.  As  it  was  hopeless  to  proceed  with  my 
own  correspondence,  I  occupied  myself  in  transferring  to 
paper  as  much  of  the  Corn  Law  speech  as  I  could  condense. 
I  was  reading  with  Jones  at  the  time,  told  him  the  story, 
and  showed  him  the  digest  or  summary  of  what  I  had  taken 
down.  He  laughed  heartily,  and  declared  I  should  subject 
myself  to  his  greatest  displeasure  if  I  did  not  at  once  pre 
pare  a  speech  for  Exeter  Hall  to  confute  and  upset,  to  the 
best  of  my  ability,  the  arguments  of  my  friend  and  country 
man.  Nothing  was  thus  left  me  but  to  obey  instructions ; 
and  with  the  aid  of  Adam  Smith,  David  Ricardo,  and  .Mr. 
McCulloch,  I  got  up  a  speech,  in  the  preparation  of  which 
I  burned  largely  of  the  midnight  oil.  The  evening  before 
the  meeting  Jones  called  upon  me  to  deliver  it  before  hin; 
from  his  rostrum.  He  encouraged  me  by  stating  that  I  had 
been  a  diligent  pupil,  and  if  I  acquitted  myself  as  well  in 
Exeter  Hall  as  I  had  done  in  his  pulpit,  I  should  receive 
his  unqualified  praise.  "Then,  if  that  is  your  command, 
which  I  am  bound  to  obey,  you  must  give  me  your  able 
advice,  as  I  have  never  yet  spoken  in  public."  "  That  L 
shall  do,"  said  Jones ;  "  but  first  let  me  tell  you,  in  cast  j 
you  don't  already  know  it,  that  there  are  tricks  in  all  trades, 
and  public  speaking  is  no  exception." 


MR.   RICHARD  JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  221 

I  hope  the  secret  into  which  the  most  gifted  of  profess 
ors  of  elocution  let  me,  and  which  I  am  about  to  disclose, 
may  be  found  useful  to  the  oratorical  debutant  or  debutante, 
for  now  that  the  political  claims  of  the  fairer  portion  of 
creation  are  being  advocated,  and  their  right  to  enter  the 
learned  professions  freely  canvassed,  we  may  henceforward 
look  to  public  discussions  in  which  the  ladies  shall  hold 
their  own.  Under  such  circumstances,  it  would  be  most 
gratifying  to  me  to  know  that  Mr.  Jones's  hints  proved  of 
value  to  them  practically.  "  To  give  effect  to  your  speech, 
you  must  make  a  point  of  rising  the  moment  your  friend 
sits  down ;  and  to  secure  this  priority  you  should  take  some 
paper  in  size  and  appearance  to  resemble  your  manuscript 
as  nearly  as  possible,  and,  moreover,  you  must  go  to  the 
meeting  in  good  time,  so  as  to  occupy  a  prominent  place  in 
front  of  the  chairman,  or  as  close  to  him  as  you  can  man 
age  to  be.  You  should  likewise  have  your  own  pen  and 
ink,  and  whenever  your  friend  rises  to  address  the  meeting, 
you  must  have  your  blank  paper  at  once  out,  and  begin 
scrawling  away,  as  if  you  were  taking  down  the  speaker's 
remarks.  Your  friend  will  be  pleased  to  observe  this,  and 
consider  it  complimentary  to  himself.  Then,  when  he  is 
near  his  peroration  you  will  quietly  exchange  the  papers  on 
which  you  have  been  scrawling  for  your  own  manuscript, 
and  as  you  were  seen  by  the  meeting  to  be  busily  engaged 
writing  during  the  speaker's  address,  you  can,  should  your 
memory  fail  you,  refer  to  your  papers  from  time  to  time. 
If  this  is  done  judiciously,  you  will  never  be  suspected  of 
delivering  a  prepared  speech.  You  may  even  very  effec 
tively  state  a  something  which  your  honorable  opponent  did 
not  say,  adding :  c  If  I  am  wrong  the  honorable  gentle 
man  will  correct  me ; '  of  course  the  honorable  gentleman 
will  do  so  forthwith.  A  little  digression  or  by-play  of  this 
kind  often  tells  well  in  a  speech,  and  acts  as  a  partial  anti- 
narcotic  on  the  audience.  But  on  this  head  I  must  offer 


222  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

you  an  additional  suggestion,  as  it  is  not  at  all  unlikely  to 
happen  about  nine  o'clock  in  the  evening.  If,  on  looking 
round,  you  observe  a  state  of  somnolency  in  some,  and  an 
evident  near  approach  to  it  in  others,  all  you  have  to  do  is 
to  pronounce  the  last  word  of  the  sentence  loud,  and  then 
suddenly  stop,  keeping  your  eye  fixed  on  the  chairman, 
otherwise  he  might  suppose  you  had  closed  your  observa 
tions.  By  this  course,  you  will  instantly  rouse  the  sleepers 
in  obedience  to  the  doctrine  of  acoustics,  and  probably  se 
cure  their  attention  for  another  short  period,  after  which, 
if  they  should  again  appear  to  be  dropping  off,  you  must 
make  them  wake  up  in  the  way  I  have  explained." 

I  was  able  next  day  to  tell  my  elocutionary  instructor 
that  my  speech  came  off  very  well,  as  the  speaker  by  whom 
I  was  followed  stated  that  I  had  exhausted  the  subject  and, 
most  probably,  the  audience  also.  A  day  or  two  afterward 
I  acquainted  my  friend  whom  I  had  victimized,  and  who 
was  praising  me  as  a  debater,  with  the  joke  which  Mr. 
Jones  and  I  had  practised  upon  him,  and  he  enjoyed  it  im 
mensely. 

The  late  Bishop  of  London  (Dr.  Blomfield)  was  one 
of  Jones's  warmest  supporters,  as  a  professor  of  elocution. 
If  a  curate  called  upon  the  Bishop,  the  curate  being  about 
to  undertake  duty  in  the  London  diocese,  arid  was  found 
defective  as  a  reader,  the  bishop  sent  him  immediately  to 
Jones ;  the  thoughtful  prelate  at  the  same  time  telling  the 
young  clergyman  that  he  had  arranged  with  Mr.  Jones  a 
clerical  tariff  that  would  not  alarm  him — one-fourth  the  ordi 
nary  charge. 

Dr.  Croly  used  to  twit  Jones  for  assuming  a  dictatorship 
in  the  English  language.  "  How  do  we  know,  Jones,  that 
you  are  right  ?  "  "  This  is  very  true,"  said  Jones,  "  for  I 
am  probably  to  blame  in  not  seeking  out  my  authorities  on 
the  banks  of  the  Liffey  "  — then  giving  me  a  sly  look  — "  or 
even  the  Tweed.  I  confine  myself  at  present  to  the  banks 


MR.   RICHARD  JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  223 

of  the  Thames,  leaving  them  when  the  famous  river  enters 
the  land  of  Cockayne."  "  We  are  mightily  obliged  to  you, 
Jones,  for  letting  us  so  far  into  your  secret,"  said  the 
Doctor,  "  but  I  presume  there  are  authorities  whom  you  do 
deign  to  consult.  You  cannot,  my  dear  Jones,  be  always 
right."  "  Well,  then,"  said  Jones,  "  as  you  do  not  ask  me 
to  go  to  Dublin,  you  shall  know  the  three  authorities  on 
•whom  I  at  this  moment  rely,  but  keep  it  to  yourselves,  for 
if  my  clients  know  what  market  to  go  to,  Othello's  occupa 
tion's  gone.  I  listen  to  the  sermons  of  Blomfield,  Bishop 
of  London,  to  the  legal  judgments  of  Copley,  Lord  Lynd- 
hurst,  and  to  speeches  of  Law,  Earl  of  Ellenborough.  They 
are  my  models  for  speaking  the  English  language  purely, 
not  only  in  regard  to  pronunciation,  and  the  construction 
of  sentences,  but  also  to  the  arrrangement  of  arguments." 
Jones  maintained  that  he  could  cure  the  most  perverse 
cockney,  particularly  if  he  had  a  musical  ear,  of  dropping 
the  A,  or  misplacing  it,  or  of  exchanging  the  w  for  v,  in  one 
week.  "How  many  men,"  he  said,  "have  had  themselves 
laughed  at,  and  thus  shipwrecked,  in  the  House  of  Com 
mons  and  elsewhere,  from  their  obstinacy  in  not  having 
such  errors  corrected,  which  the  least  care  could  accom 
plish  ! " 

Jones  used  to  say  that  he  had  more  difficulty  in  driving 
into  the  head  of  a  Scotchman  the  correct  way  of  pronoun 
cing  was  than  any  other  word.  "  I  icuz  just  going  to  say, 
Mr.  Johnnes."  "  Wiiz  you,  indeed,"  replied  the  great  au 
thority  ?  "But  let  me  tell  you  that  you  would  greatly 
please  me  for  the  future  by  saying  was  and  not  wuz,  and 
calling  me  by  my  correct  name,  Jones,  and  not  Johnnes." 
He  was  most  amusing  when  he  got  upon  the  Scotch-Eng 
lish  of  two  of  our  distinguished  Lord- Advocates,  who  en 
tered  Parliament  and  have  passed  from  us  since  Lord 
Grey's  Reform  Bill.  How  two  such  accomplished  men 
should  have  been  all  their  lives  (Jones  knew  Edinburgh 


224  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

well)  engaged  in  a  contraband  trade  in  passing  spurious 
English  among  their  friends  and  clients,  was  a  matter  of 
much  surprise  to  him,  as  no  one,  even  the  merest  tyro, 
could  have  failed  to  detect  the  supreme  affectation  in  their 
mode  of  addressing  the  House  of  Commons  or  the  Lord 
Chancellor  in  Scotch  Appeals,  and  had,  in  consequence, 
drawn  down  upon  themselves  through  a  long  professional 
career  the  most  laughable  criticism.  "  Na,  na,"  said  Jones, 
"  gie  me  Ilarry  Dundas's  broadest  Scotch  in  preference  to 
the  mongrel  attempts  of  the  two  learned  Scotch  Lords  to 
be  considered  purists  in  the  English  language." 

Jones  would  suddenly  break  off  when  he  had  made  us 
laugh,  as  he  thought  sufficiently,  and  look  to  one  of  the  vis 
itors  for  some  anecdote  or  story.  "  We  have  been  talking 
enough  Scotch  and  English ;  let  us  now  have  something 
French;"  then,  turning  to  me,  "Pray  do  give  us  your 
countryman's  antiquarian  researches  at  Bayonne."  The 
story  was  this :  A  gallant  Scotch  officer  who  had  fought 
and  bled  in  the  cause  of  freedom  in  Portugal,  and  subse 
quently  in  Spain,  in  General  de  Lacy  Evans's  army,  then 
stationed  in  and  around  St.  Sebastian,  with  a  party  of 
brother  officers,  had  obtained  a  few  days'  leave  to  visit 
Bayonne.  My  countryman  devoted  the  first  day,  from 
breakfast  to  dinner,  in  a  minute  exploration  of  this  ancient 
city  and  seaport  of  the  Lower  Pyrenees  alone,  rejoining 
the  party  in  the  evening  at  dinner.  He  gave  his  friends  an 
interesting  account  of  his  rambles,  and  that  he  had  dis 
covered  Bayonne  must  have  been  at  one  time  a  Scotch  col 
ony,  as  he  found  the  prevailing  name  in  almost  every  street 
was  Bains.  After  the  important  announcement  on  Bay- 
onnese  archa3ology  a  strong  hope  was  expressed  by  Colo 
nel  Sir and  all  present  that  the  War  Office  would 

take  an  early  opportunity  of  submitting  to  the  sovereign 
the  name  of  the  gallant  discoverer  for  the  knighthood  of 
the  Bath. 


MR.   RICHARD  JONES,   THE   COMEDIAN.  225 

Jones  could  describe  with  infinite  naivete  the  character 
istics  of  the  three  classes  of  his  pupils.  The  young  Eng 
lish  clergyman  and  barrister  came  to  him  for  one  object, 
and  avowed  it — to  have  errors  in  pronunciation  corrected, 
and  the  modulation  of  the  voice  and  emphasis  in  read 
ing  and  speaking  improved.  The  young  Irishman,  usu 
ally  a  hearty,  joyous  fellow,  came  and  declared  that  he 
wished  to  be  put  into  shape  as  a  spaker^  and  when  detected 
in  a  bull,  laughed  as  heartily  in  having  it  pointed  out  to 
him  as  Jones  himself  did ;  but  when  the  Scotchman  came, 
Jones  said :  "  I  was  prepared  for  circumlocution ;  he  ap 
proached  me  with  some  hesitation,  and  an  apology  for  com 
ing  at  all  usually  followed.  'The  fact  is,  Mr.  Jbhnnes, 

m,a  frien  Mr. ,  of  the  Temple,  mentioned  your  name 

to  me,  as  he  thocht  it  wud  be  as  weel,  as  I  had  come  to  Lon 
don  to  read  for  the  Bar,  that  I  went  through  a  coorse  with 
you.  How  mony  lessons,  Mr.  Johnnes,  do  you  consider  a 
coorse?''  'Why,  many  of  my  pupils — at  least,  those  who 
choose  to  fag — do  not  require  to  take  more  than  ten  les 
sons.'  '  I  should  read  very  hard,  Mr.  Johnnes.  I  believe 
yer  terms  are  a  gueenea  a  lesson  ? '  '  Yes,  ten  guineas 
for  a  course  of  ten  lessons.' ':  (This  was  always  paid  in 
advance.)  "  '  Vera  weel,  Mr.  Johnnes  '  "  (Jones  spoke 
Scotch  admirably),  "Til  tak  a  coorse  with  you,  although 
the  fact  is,  I  did  not  think  I  wud  require  to  read  with  you ; 
however,  ma  frien,  whose  cairde  I  brocht,  says  there  are 
several  words  which  we  pronoonce  somewhat  differently  in 
Scoteland,  and  that  it  wud  be  as  weel  that  I  saw  you.' 
'I  am  much  obliged  to  your  friend  for  mentioning  my 
name  to  you,  and  I  hope  you  will  prove  an  exception  to 
most  of  your  countrymen,  for,  I  assure  you,  instead  of  sev 
eral  words  only  being  pronounced  differently  in  Scotland 
to  what  they  are  in  England,  their  number  is  legion,  and 
although  you  do  not  become  my  pupil  until  Monday,  when 
we  shall  commence  in  earnest,  I  think  it  right  to  apprise 


226  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

you  that  I  have  already  detected  in  our  short  conversation 
at  least  a  dozen  solecisms.'  '  Indeed,  Mr.  Johnnes,  you 
perfectly  surprise  me,  as  I  witz  always  rather  complimented 
at  home  in  the  way  I  spofc.  May  I  ask  you,  Mr.  Johnnes, 
where  ye  find  me  wrong  ? '  '  Why,  you  have  just  told  me 
that  you  leeve  in  PALL  MALL.  Now  a  Londoner  would  say 
— and  I  hope  you  icill  next  week — I  live  in  Pell  Mell,  not 
pronounced  as  it  is  spelt,  Pall  Mall.  Then,  in  regard  to 
my  own  name,  Scotchmen,  you  of  the  number,  generally 
call  me  Jbhnnes,  instead  of  Jones.  You  also  told  me  you 
had  been  makin*  a  tower  on  the  Continent ;  we  may  build 
a  tower,  but  we  make  a  tour?  " 

Jones  considered  his  Scotch  pupils,  as  a  rule,  peculiarly 
thin-skinned,  always  in  the  greatest  dread  lest  it  should  be 
known  that  they  required  elocutionary  instruction,  but  if 
an  unfortunate  Englishman  blundered  in  a  French  word  or 
an  Italian  termination,  my  countryman,  he  alleged,  was 
most  critical  and  severe  : 

"  Slow  to  their  own  defects,  but  quick  to  spy 
Another's  failings  with  the  eagle's  eye." 

Richard  Jones  survived  his  excellent  wife  a  few  years. 
He  was  universally  respected  and  beloved ;  he  was  in  every 
sense  of  the  word  "  Gentleman  Jones ; "  he  was  kind  and 
charitable,  liberal  and  hospitable.  Nevertheless,  he  left  a 
moderate  fortune  to  his  relatives,  having  no  family  of  his 
own.  The  late  Sir  William  Chatterton,  Mr.  Crofton  Croker, 
and  myself,  were  his  executors. 

94.  Shooting  at  Midnight. 

I  have  pleasant  reminiscences  of  the  late  Lord  Saye  and 
Sele  (William,  the  twelfth  lord),  and  of  his  hospitality  at 
Belvidere,  in  Kent.  One  evening,  when  I  was  there  on  a 
visit,  his  old  keeper,  Croker,  looked  into  the  dining-room 


SHOOTING  AT  MIDNIGHT.  227 

at  eleven  o'clock  at  night,  and  called  out  to  our  host,  who 
was  sitting  with  his  guests,  "  My  lord,  the  guns  be  hall 
ready."  "  All  right,  Croker,  come  up  here  and  have  a  glass 
of  wine."  The  old  man  immediately  made  his  way  to  the 
head  of  the  table,  to  drink  his  half  tumbler  of  port.  "  Have 
3rou-got  many  rabbits  for  us,  Croker?"  "  Vy,  my  lord,  hi 
netted  honly  two  dozen,  thinking  has  ow  hit  vas  has  many 
has  yer  lordship  hand  tother  gents  voud  care  habout.  My 
lord,  please  mind  the  moon's  hall  right,  hand  the  sooner 
veere  hat  hour  vork,  the  better."  "Whenever  you  are 
ready,  Croker,  we  shall  be."  "  Hi  his  ready,  my  lord." 
Croker  and  his  assistants  had  placed  a  white  paper  collar 
round  the  neck  of  each  rabbit,  and  when  he  had  given  us 
each  our  gun,  his  difficulties  as  quartermaster-general  arose. 
Bacchus  had  no  warmer  admirer  than  Croker  when  his 
official  duties  did  not  interfere,  but  when  they  were  to  be 
performed  he  was  as  sober  as  a  vegetarian.  However, 
being  a  good  judge  in  such  matters,  he  ran  his  eye  over  the 
party,  much  as  a  detective  would  do,  and  at  once  saw  he 
had  heavy  responsibilities  on  hand.  He  therefore  addressed 
us  in  the  following  pithy,  although  somewhat  disquieting 
terms :  "  Gemmon,  hi  vishes  to  see  my  rabbits  killed,  hi 
does,  hand  'is  lordship  knows  hit,  but  hi  vishes  hat  same 
time  to  preswarve  'uman  life — that  his,  that  you  don't  a 
shoot  none  on  yourselves,  for  hi  tells  you  plain,  that  hif 
you  moves  ha  morsel  from  the  pints  hi  puts  you  hat,  hi 
von't  hanswer  by  no  manner  o'  means,  for  you'll  be  a  firing 
hon  heach  hother ;  you  vill  hindeed.  Don't  larf,  dear  gem- 
mon ;  pray,  my  lord,  do  speak  seems  to  'em."  \Ve  promised 
Croker  to  profit  by  his  warning,  and  pledged  ourselves  to 
follow  out  his  instructions  most  carefully.  In  a  few  minutes 
we  were  in  the  places  in  front  of  the  mansion  which  Croker 
had  arranged  for  us,  and  at  such  a  distance  as  to  satisfy  us 
that  the  noble  proprietor's  windows  were  appreciated  by 
him.  He  had  also  looked  to  the  safety  of  number  one,  as 


228  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

rabbit  No.  1  was  placed  in  a  pigeon-trap,  to  which  a  very 
long  cord  was  attached ;  this  Croker  and  colleagues  ma 
nipulated  and  controlled  in  perfect  safety  to  themselves  at 
the  rear  of  the  midnight  sportsmen.  "  My  lord,  ven  you 
says  pull,  hi  pulls."  "  Pull,"  and  a  discharge  of  ten  or  a 
dozen  barrels  followed.  The  same  precautions  being  ob 
served  in  respect  to  rabbit  No.  2,  the  guns  were  reloaded, 
and  as  each  was  handed  back,  Croker  had  a  compliment  to 
pay  us.  "  You  keeps  your  place,  sir,  beautiful,  you  does, 
hand  no  mistake."  The  operation  of  single  rabbits  becoming 
rather  tedious,  and  twelve  o'clock  having  struck,  Croker 
gave  his  trap  a  duplicate  until  his  number  was  exhausted. 
Notwithstanding  the  heavy  firing,  which  we  afterward 
learned  had  created  a  good  deal  of  sensation  among  the 
crews'  of  the  vessels  passing  up  and  down  the  Thames,  not 
more  than  six  rabbits  were  killed. 

Next  day  Croker  was  congratulated  on  the  able  manner 
in  which  he  had  carried  out  the  night's  sport.  "  Veil,  hi 
haint  ave  nothink  to  say  hon  that  'ed,  but  this  hi  vill  say, 
that  hi  never  vas  so  thankful  to  see  'is  lordship's  friends  a 
going  hall  right  to  their  beds,  for  some  hon  yar  gemmon — 
hi  means  no  hoffence — voud  a  been  better  bin  hit  afore  you 
coined  to  shoot."  This  was  assented  to  nem.  con.;  and  now 
those  friends  of  mine,  or  readers,  who  may  not  have  shot 
rabbits  with  while  paper  collars  on  at  midnight,  by  taking 
a  hint  from  Croker,  may  learn  how  to  do  so,  and  safely  too. 

95.  Lieutenant  Thomas  Waghom,  It.  JV7,  the  Hero  of  the 
Overland  Route. 

I  knew  the  indomitable,  persevering,  and  courageous 
Waghorn  intimately.  He  was  a  good-hearted  man,  whose 
only  failing  was  an  excessive  love  of  stimulants.  "  You 
have  made  for  yourself  a  great  name,"  I  would  say  to  him, 
"  and  I  wish  to  see  you  enjoy  your  honors  for  another  quar- 


THE  HERO  OF  THE  OVERLAND  ROUTE.      229 

ter  of  a  century ;  you  have  been  blessed  with  a  magnificent 
constitution,  but  it  will  soon  break  down  unless  you  leave 
off."  The  poor  fellow's  only  reply  was :  "  'Tis  too  true,  my 
good  sir,  but  I  cannot  help  it."  I  have  often  said  to  him : 
"  Why,  Waghorn,  I  have  never  met  a  man  to  be  compared 
with  you  in  point  of  energy  and  determination  of  purpose, 
and  had  you  lived  thirty-five  or  forty  years  earlier  and  been 
the  associate  of  Lord  Nelson  and  Lord  Cochrane,  you  would 
not  have  allowed  the  former  of  those  great  men  to  have 
boarded  the  San  Nicholas  and  San  Josef,  or  the  latter  PEs- 
meralda  in  Callao  Roads  without  being  one  of  the  party." 
"  I  would  not,  you  may  rely  upon  it." 

He  often  lunched  with  me,  and  it  was  a  treat  for  any 
of  my  country  friends  to  meet  so  great  a  lion,  and  if  his 
time,  theirs,  and  my  own  permitted,  I  generally  led  him 
into  a  little  sketch  of  his  own  career  for  the  information, 
and  not  improbably  the  amusement  also,  of  my  visitors,  for 
I  knew  the  precise  chord  to  touch.  He  was  born  in  1800, 
and  had  been  a  midshipman  in  the  navy  from  1812  to  1817 ; 
but  being  without  interest  he  sought  employment  in  another 
branch  of  the  service,  and  went  out  to  Calcutta  as  third 
mate  of  a  merchantman,  where  he  obtained  an  appointment 
in  the  Bengal  Marine  in  the  pilot  service  of  the  East  India 
Company. 

The  practicability  of  the  Overland  Route  had  long  occu 
pied  his  attention,  and  as  he  sailed  up  and  down  the  Red 
Sea,  he  settled  in  his  own  mind  that  it  could  easily  be  ac 
complished.  At  last  the  thought  occurred  to  him  that  he 
would  solicit  an  interview  from  Lord  William  Bentinck, 
then  Governor-General  of  India.  This  was  granted,  and  so 
much  struck  was  his  Excellency  with  the  man,  and  his 
world-important  project  of  an  overland  route  from  Europe 
to  Asia  by  the  Red  Sea,  that  he  suggested  his  going  home 
forthwith  to  lay  his  plans  before  the  East  India  Company 
and  the  Board  of  Control.  In  accordance  with  Lord  Wil- 


230  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

liam  Bentinck's  views,  he  made  arrangements  to  proceed 
to  Europe,  the  Governor-General  furnishing  him  with  a 
letter  of  introduction  to  the  Chairman  of  the  Company,  and 
one  to  Sir  John  Cam  Hobhouse,  the  President  of  the  Board 
of  Control.  Waghorn  worked  his  way  home  from  Bombay 
up  the  Red  Sea,  making  himself  master  of  many  important 
details.  At  this  point  of  his  narrative  "VVaghorn's  pulse 
always  rose,  his  countenance  became  rubicund,  and  the 
table  never  failed  to  receive  a  tremendous  blow  from  his 
fist.  "  Gentlemen,"  looking  round  at  each  of  my  guests, 
"  you  shall  hear — Mr.  Boyd  knows  it  well — how  I  was 
treated  for  bringing  Bombay  within  twenty-six  days  and 
eight  hours  of  the  capital  of  England.  I  went  to  the  India 
House,  and  asked  if  the  Chairman  was  in  his  room.  He 
was.  I  sent  my  name  and  was  received.  I  handed  my 
letter  of  introduction  from  the  Governor-General  to  the 
Chairman.  He  read  it,  placed  it  on  the  table,  and  was 
about  to  resume  his  wTiting,  but  thought  better  of  it.  I 
waited  patiently,  when  the  Chairman  addressed  me  as  fol 
lows  :  *  Mr.  Waghorn.'  '  Yes,  sir.'  '  You  are,  I  find,  in 
our  service  in  India.'  '  I  am,  sir.  I  am  one  of  the  Honor 
able  Company's  pilots.'  '  Are  you  in  bad  health,  Mr.  Wag- 
horn  ?'  'I  am  in  perfect  health,  sir.'  'Well,  then,' said 
this  Chairman  of  the  East  India  Company,  'Mr.  Waghorn, 
take  my  advice,  and  return  to  your  duties  in  India,  for  I 
have  to  inform  you  that  I,  as  Chairman  of  the  Honorable 
Court  of  Directors,  am  quite  satisfied,  as  heretofore,  with 
sending  our  letters  and  dispatches  to  India  by  the  Cape  of 
Good  Hope,  and  receiving  our  replies  by  the  same  route.' 
He  then  resumed  his  pen,  telling  me  his  time  was  much 
occupied,  and  that  he  had  given  his  decision.  I  then  said, 
'I  assure  you,  sir,  the  Govern  or- General  looks  upon  the 
plan  I  had  the  honor  of  submitting  to  him  most  favorably, 
and  the  last  words,  on  my  taking  leave,  which  his  Excel 
lency  was  pleased  to  address  to  me  after  my  full  explana- 


THE  HERO  OF  THE  OVERLAND  ROUTE.      231 
* 

tions,  were,  that  lie  was  convinced  the  Overland  Route 
could  be  carried  out.'  What  answer  did  I  get  from  this 
enlightened  Chairman  ?  '  I  take  a  different  view,  as  repre 
senting  the  Court  of  Directors  (pronounced  with  great 
emphasis),  leaving  Lord  William  Bentinck  to  entertain 
what  opinion  he  chooses ;  for,  as  I  have  already  said,  our 
postal  communication,  as  conducted  vid  the  Cape  of  Good 
Hope,  is  all  that  the  authorities  in  Leadenhall  Street  re 
quire.  I  must  now  request  that  our  interview  ends.' 

"  I  left  the  Chairman's  room  instantly,  and,  not  forget 
ting  the  reception  I  had  met  with  on  my  entrance,  I  was 
determined  my  departure  should  not  be  forgotten,  for  I 
gave  his  door  such  a  precious  slam  (  a  stronger  word  was 
used)  as  to  be  distinctly  heard  through  the  corridors  of  the 
building.  I  hurried  to  one  of  the  hall-porters,  and  asked 
for  a  sheet  of  paper  and  a  corner  from  which  the  poor  ta 
booed  Bengal  pilot  might  address  a  few  lines  to  the  mighty 
lord  of  Leadenhall  Street.  My  letter  was  short  and  as 
follows : 

'"  To  John  Harvey  Astell,  Esq.,  M.P.,   Chairman  of  the  Hon. 
East  India  Company. 

"  *  Sir, — I  this  day  resign  my  employment  as  a  pilot 
in  the  Hon.  East  India  Company's  Bengal  Marine  Service, 
and  have  the  honor  to  remain, 

" '  Your  obedient  servant, 
(Signed)  "  '  THOMAS  WAGHOKN.' 

"  Without  even  asking  the  porter  for  an  envelope,  and 
the  ink  still  wet,  I  rushed  back  to  the  chairman  with  my 
letter.  "  There,  sir,  is  my  resignation  of  my  position  in 
the  Company's  service;  and  I  tell  you,  John  Harvey 
Astell,  esquire,  member  of  Parliament,  and  chairman  of  the 
Hon.  East  India  Company,  that  I  shall  stuff  the  overland 
route  down  your  throat  before  you  are  two  years  older." 
I  then  dashed  out  of  his  room,  slamming  the  door  even 


232  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

• 

more  violently  than  I  had  done  five  minutes  previously. 
That  is  the  way,  gentlemen,  a  poor  devil  is  served  who  has 
the  good  of  his  country  at  heart. 

"  I  have  still  something  to  tell  you ;  for,  after  the  treat 
ment  I  received  at  the  India  House,  I  should  immediately 
have  presented  myself  at  the  Board  of  Control ;  but  my 
feelings  were  so  exasperated,  that  I  required  a  couple  of 
days  to  calm  them  down.  I  then  repaired  to  Cannon  Row, 
where  I  soon  discovered  that  an  arrow  had  been  sped  from 
the  quiver  in  Leadenhall  Street  which  had  reached  the 
Board  of  Control  before  me,  as,  from  the  whispering  and 
staring  that  went  on  in  the  outer  chamber,  I  much  doubted 
whether  I  should  ever  see  the  inner,  where  sat  the  Minister 
for  India.  However,  after  deep  consideration,  I  was  told 
that  Sir  John  Hobhouse  could  see  me.  What  a  piece  of 
condescension  in  a  well-paid  minister  of  the  Crown !  I  was 
received  with  extreme  frigidity.  The  key-note,  sounded  in 
Leadenhall  Street,  had  obviously  been  reechoed  in  Cannon 
Row,  for  if  Harvey  Astell  was  rude  and  offensive,  Sir  John 
Hobhouse  was  doubly  so.  After  handing  in  my  letter  of 
introduction  from  the  Governor-General,  I  recapitulated  all 
that  had  passed  between  Lord  William  and  myself,  as  well 
as  communicating  my  own  observations  as  concisely  as 
possible  on  the  general  question  of  the  overland  route,  but 
without  making  any  impression  on  the  Right  Hon.  Baronet, 
who  seemed  to  view  its  unimportance  as  Mr.  Astell  had 
done.  In  his  remarks,  Hobhouse  so  grossly  insulted  me, 
that  the  only  return  I  could  make  in  hurriedly  leaving  his 
presence,  was  striking  my  own  body  in  a  manner  which  I 
was  informed  afterward  was  extremely  distasteful  to  the 
President  of  the  Board  of  Control,  affording  me,  with  not  a 
few  others  I  can  assure  you,  intense  satisfaction  and  great 
amusement,  and  I  hope  I  may  now  include  you  in  the  num 
ber.  My  revenge,  gentlemen,  on  these- men  was  seeing  my 
plans  carried  out,  and  in  being  enabled  to  say,  *  There,  be- 


THE  HERO  OF  THE  OVERLAND  ROUTE.      233 

hold  another  -route  to  India  besides  the  Cape  of  Good 
Hope:  " 

Shortly  after  this;  Waghorn  became  hard  run  at  his 
banker's,  and  a  member  of  the  House  of  Peers,  a  sailor 
lord — either  the  Earl  of  Hardwicke,  Earl  Talbot,  or  Lord 
Colchester — promised  to  speak  to  Lord  Melbourne,  then 
Prime  Minister,  on  his  behalf.  Accordingly,  his  lordship 
was  asked  to  interest  himself  with  Sir  John  Hobhouse,  as 
President  of  the  Board  of  Control,  to  make  a  grant  of  £500 
to  Waghorn  in  order  to  relieve  him  from  his  difficulties, 
which  were  very  pressing  at  that  moment.  On  hearing 
Waghorn's  name  in  conjunction  with  Hobhouse,  Lord  Mel 
bourne  started  to  his  legs,  and  was  seen  convulsed  with 
laughter.  "  Mention  Waghorn  to  Hobhouse  !  "  said  Lord 
Melbourne.  "  No,  not  for  the  world  !  You  evidently  don't 
know  the  story  ; "  and  taking  his  noble  friend  to  one  side 
of  the  House,  he  described  the  whole  affair,  at  the  same 
time  suiting  the  word  to  the  action,  and  the  action  to  the 
word.  "  Oh  no,"  said  the  facetious  premier,  "  that  cock 
will  never  fight,  but  you  may  tell  his  friends  at  the  Bar, 
that  I  shall  go  to-morrow  to  the  Treasury  and  get  him  £500, 
and  without  troubling  my  friend  Hobhouse."  At  this  time 
he  was  made  a  lieutenant  in  the  navy. 

Lord  Palmerston,  when  Minister  of  Foreign  Affairs, 
saw  a  good  deal  of  Waghorn,  and  was  always  most  kind  to 
him.  This  attention  of  the  great  statesman  was  highly 
appreciated,  and  Waghorn  never  lost  an  opportunity  of  con 
trasting  it  with  the  code  of  manners  he  had  encountered  at 
the  India  House  and  Board  of  Control.  One  afternoon 
Waghorn  asked  me  to  go  with  him  to  the  Foreign  Office 
to  see  his  lordship  in  reference  to  a  postal  communication 
from  Pointe  de  Galle  to  our  Australian  and  New  Zealand 
Colonies,  a  subject  in  which  I  was  much  engaged  at  the 
time.  I  hesitated,  as  it  was  late.  However,  he  felt  anxious 
that  I  should  accompany  him  ;  but  it  was  five  o'clock  be- 


234  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFIY   YEARS. 

fore  we  reached  Downing  Street.  Lord  Parlmerston,  who 
it  was  well  understood  did  a  great  portion  of  his  hard  work 
at  home  (he  then  lived  in  Carl  ton  Terrace),  had  not  come, 
and  there  were  several  people  already  waiting  to  see  him. 
When  his  lordship  arrived,  one  of  the  gentlemen  of  the  de 
partment  remarked  to  those  waiting,  "  I  shall  take  up  your 
names  to  his  lordship  ;  but  I  think  it  as  well  to  apprise  you," 
smiling  at  Waghorn,  "  that  the  overland  route,  or  rather 
its  author,  always  takes  precedence  at  the  Foreign  Office." 
The  parties  waiting  appeared  quite  reconciled  to  this,  by 
having  an  opportunity  of  seeing  a  man  of  whom  they  had 
heard  so  much.  I  had  just  time,  and  no  more,  to  take 
Waghorn  in  hand.  "  Now,"  I  said,  "  recollect  you  must, 
at  such  a  late  hour,  strictly  confine  yourself  to  receiving 
the  letters  for  the  Austrian  Government  promised  you 
by  his  lordship,  but  on  no  account  whatever  enter  upon 
the  Australian  question,  for  if  you  do,  you  may  convert 
Lord  Palmerston  from  being  your  firm  friend  and  patron 
into  a  chairman  of  the  India  Company,  or  a  President  of 
the  Board  of  Control."  As  he  was  to  start  that  night  for 
Vienna  and  Trieste,  he  followed  my  advice,  and  the  inter 
view  was  over  in  two  minutes.  In  the  act  of  leaving  the 
Foreign  Office,  he  looked  into  the  room  where  we  had  left 
those  waiting  to  see  his  lordship,  and  made  them  laugh 
heartily.  "  The  course  is  clear,  gentlemen,  now  go  ahead." 
Waghorn  occasionally  spent  a  day  or  two  at  Vienna  on 
postal  arrangements,  and  was  always  kindly  received 
(thanks  to  Lord  Palmerston)  by  Prince  Metternich  the 
Prime  Minister,  who  asked  him  to  dinner  and  paid  him 
other  attentions.  "  I  recollect,"  said  Waghorn,  "  firing 
into  the  Prince  and  making  him  laugh  at  the  humbugging 
delays  which  I  had  several  times  met  with  on  my  different 
journeys  through  Austria ;  and  I  was  determined  now  to 
speak  out.  *  Surely,'  I  said,  '  your  Highness,  when  your 
Government  have  to  write  to  your  consular  agents  in  the 


THE  HERO  OF  THE  OVERLAND  ROUTE.      235 

East,  must  be  anxious  to  have  the  letters  delivered  as 
quickly  as  the  British  Government;  and  how  the  deuce, 
your  Highness,  is  this  to  be  done,  if  I  am  to  be  constantly 
hauled  up  and  stopped  in  the  middle  of  the  night  to  under 
go  some  foolish  police  inspection,  and  compelled  to  fumble 
about  in  my  pockets,  when  I  am  half  asleep  and  more  than 
half  perished  with  cold,  to  produce  the  authority  your 
Highness  some  time  ago  furnished  me  with  ?  and  then  when 
I  call  out  to  the  driver,  "Go  ahead,  go  ahead,"  "push 
on,"  one  of  your  confounded  officials  says,  "  Sprechen  sie 
deutsch,"  holding  on  like  grim  death  at  the  carriage-door. 
"  Sprechen  sie  fiddle-strings  ! "  I  exclaim.  I  tell  you,  Prince, 
it  won't  do  ;  your  empire  is  dreadfully  behind  the  rest  of 
Europe ;  and  if  I  am  to  take  charge  and  expedite  the 
British  and  Continental  correspondence  to  the  East,  you 
must  remove  those  absurd  interruptions  I  complain  of,  and 
that  pretty  sharply.'  The  Prince  promised  me  that  he 
would  do  so,  and  like  a  good  man  kept  his  promise,  as  I 
never  had  any  thing  to  complain  of  afterward.  I  can  tell 
you  the  post-horse  fellows  in  Austria  were  wide  awake 
alter  this  when  Tom  Waghorn  was  on  the  road.  This 
plain  speaking  of  mine  to  the  famous  Metternich,  it  seems, 
caused  a  good  joke ;  for  on  my  return  to  London  from  the 
East  some  three  months  afterward,  I  went  to  the  Foreign 
Office  to  pay  my  respects  to  Lord  Palmerston,  and  on  my 
name  being  announced  his  lordship  laughed  heartily.  '  Come 
along,  Waghorn,  and  tell  me  all  about  the  Vienna  affair,' 
making  me  relate  the  whole  story.  *  Well,  Waghorn,  you 
have  said  more  to  the  head  of  the  Austrian  Government 
than  I  ever  dared  to  do.'  " 

No  man  felt  a  kindness  shown  him  more  than  Wag- 
horn,  although  he  evinced  his  sense  of  it  in  a  manner  pecu 
liar  to  himself.  In  1846  I  had  suggested  to  some  gentle 
men  deeply  interested  in  the  question,  the  expediency  of 
calling  a  public  meeting  to  be  held  in  the  City  of  London 


236  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

to  promote  steam  communication  with  Australia ;  and  as 
Europe  and  America  owed  to  Waghorn  the  opening  up  of 
the  Red  Sea  as  the  channel  of  postal  communication  with 
India  and  China,  I  considered  it  only  just,  that  if  we  suc 
ceeded  in  extending  the  line  from  Pointe  de  Galle  to  Aus 
tralia  and  New  Zealand,  Waghorn's  name  should  not  be 
overlooked  in  the  movement.  I  therefore  sent  for  him  to 
communicate  to  him  my  own  view,  in  which  I  felt  satisfied 
I  should  be  supported  by  others.  The  tears  ran  down  his 
cheeks,  and  he  said,  "  Ah,  my  kind  sir,  you  never  allow  my 
candle  to  be  hid :  I  am  greatly  obliged  to  you."  "  Now, 
Waghorn,"  said  I,  "  come  and  dine  with  us  to  day,  and  you 
will  meet  some  friends  who  are  to  take  a  part  with  me  in 
this  matter,  and  we  shall  talk  it  over  after  dinner."  I 
suggested  that  the  advertisement  convening  the  meet 
ing  should  be  headed  "  Waghorn's  Australian  Meeting," 
and  wre  drew  out  some  half-dozen  copies  of  the  advertise 
ment.  These  Waghorn  put  in  his  pocket,  and  with  the  aid 
of  a  hansom  cab — it  was  midnight  when  he  left  me — he 
drove  round  to  the  newspaper-offices,  for  next  morning  the 
Waghorn  advertisement  appeared  in  the  papers.  This  w7as 
a  slight  specimen  of  the  "  go-ahead  "  principle  with  which 
he  wished  to  indoctrinate  the  Austrian  Government. 

He  always  declared  that  I  had  done  him  one  of  the  best 
turns  possible  in  the  City  by  suggesting  that  the  meeting 
at  the  London  Tavern  (April,  1846)  to  promote  a  postal 
steam  communication  with  Australia  should  be  called  the 
Waghorn  Australian  Steam  Meeting.  One  day  I  was  much 
amused  by  his  bringing  with  him  an  old  friend  from  India 
to  be  introduced  to  me  as  the  gentleman  who  had  said  the 
year  before  all  those  kind  things  of  him  at  the  public  meet 
ing  in  question.  Waghorn  had  this  part  of  my  speech  by 
heart,  and  I  am  convinced  that  had  he  died  a  millionnaire 
he  would  have  left  me  a  very  handsome  diamond  ring,  a 
kohinor  at  least,  as  a  memento.  But  he  could  not  allow 


THE  HERO  OF  THE  OVERLAND  ROUTE.     237 

his  friend  to  leave  me  until  he  heard  from  myself  the  remarks 
I  had  made.  "  Mr.  Boyd,  in  seconding  the  resolution  moved 
by  his  honorable  friend,  Mr.  Scott,  said,  he  must  congratulate 
Mr.  Waghorn  on  this  large  and  influential  meeting ;  and 
when  he  recollected  that  it  was  only  a  few  days  ago  that 
a  near  relative  of  his  own,  prevented  by  indisposition 
from  being  now  present,  in  conjunction  with  his  friend  Mr. 
Browning  and  himself,  consulted  Mr.  Waghorn  on  the  im 
portant  subject  for  which  they  had  met,  he  felt  satisfied 
whatever  Mr.  Waghorn  undertook  he  would  see  carried 
out,  and  that  the  great  object  for  which  they  had  assembled 
would  be  achieved,  namely,  a  steam  communication  with 
the  colony  of  Australia  via  India.  For  some  time  past,  in 
consequence  of  the  urgent  entreaties  of  friends  in  Australia, 
this  most  important  matter  had  occupied  the  serious  atten 
tion  of  Mr.  Scott  and  Mr.  Browning,  a  gentleman  intimately 
acquainted  with  Australia  and  her  coasts,  as  well  as  with 
the  different  islands  in  the  Indian  Archipelago.  We  all 
knew  from  experience  that  Mr.  Scott  (M.  P.  for  Berwickshire) 
would  urge  the  claim  of  Australia  for  this  great  commercial 
boon  with  the  Government  with  his  usual  energy  and  atten 
tion  ;  but  it  appeared  to  us  that  the  initiative  must  be  taken 
in  the  city  of  London,  and  that  the  Government  would  wait 
for  this  step :  our  eyes  were  therefore  at  once  directed  to 
the  man  who  having  '  brought  Bombay  within  twenty-six 
days  and  eight  hours  of  London,'  might  likewise  bring 
Sydney,  New  South  Wales,  within  fifty-six  days  and  eight 
hours  of  the  British  metropolis.  Mr.  Waghorn  was  of  all 
men  the  one  to  be  consulted,  the  one  to  whom  all  classes, 
commercial  and  otherwise,  owed  so  heavy  a  debt  of  grati 
tude.  Palmam  qui  meruit  ferat." 

Waghorn  died  in  1849,  and  no  one  more  heartily  rejoices 
than  I  do  that  Monsieur  de  Lesseps,  as  a  distinguished 
Frenchman,  has  added  to  his  own  well  earned  and  imperish 
able  honors  by  raising  in  Egypt  a  bust  to  Thomas  Wag- 


238  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

horn.  At  the  same  time,  this  should  remind  the  English 
nation  that  they  have  likewise  a  duty  to  perform  toward 
the  memory  of  one  who  in  the  face  of  an  opposition  that 
would  have  daunted  and  dismayed  most  men  carried  his 
point.  I  have  recently  seen  it  stated  in  the  public  prints 
that  the  practical  inception  of  the  enterprise  is  due  to 
another ;  but  I  presume  he  was  one  who  would  not  have 
the  courage  of  a  Thomas  Wagliorn  to  meet  the  scowl  of  a 
chairman  of  the  East  India  Company,  by  at  once  sacrificing 
his  commission  in  the  service  as  Waghorn  did. 

I  contend  that  this  brave  and  persevering  man,  aided  by 
Lord  William  Bentinck  and  encouraged  by  Lord  Palmerston, 
gave  us  the  overland  route  from  five  to  ten  years  earlier  than 
we  otherwise  should  have  had  it.  In  all  probability  the 
question,  so  far  as  the  all-powerful  influence  of  Leadenhall 
Street  could  prevail,  would  have  been  shelved  until  the  ex 
piry  of  the  company's  charter ;  therefore,  even  the  opinions 
I  see  adduced  of  two  most  distinguished  men  with  wrhom  I 
had  the  honor  of  being  acquainted,  the  Hon.  Mountstuart 
Elphinstone  and  General  Sir  John  Malcolm,  in  favor  of  the 
Red  Sea  route,  were  as  dust  in  the  balance  against  the  auto 
crats  who  then  ruled  the  destinies  of  our  Indian  empire. 

96.   The  Late  Joseph  Hume,  M.  P. 

I  originally  met  Mr.  Hume  at  the  hospitable  table  of  my 
late  esteemed  friend,  General  Nicholas  Smith,  of  the  Bengal 
Army.  The  General  had  commanded  in  India  the  regiment 
to  which  Mr.  Hume  was  attached  as  assistant  surgeon, 
though  subsequently  he  became  Persian  interpreter  to  the 
army  during  the  Mahratta  war,  and  received  the  thanks  of 
General  Lord  Lake  and  the  other  high  functionaries  for  the 
efficient  manner  in  wrhich  he  discharged  his  public  duties. 

The  old  General  resided  in  Harley  Street :  the  custom 
&till  obtained  to  drink  wrine  with  your  friends  at  table ;  and 
he  rather  amused  me  on  the  first  occasion,  when  he  called 


THE  LATE  JOSEPH  HUME,   M.  P.  239 

out,  "  Joe,  a  glass  of  wine  ?  "  I  observed  that  he  scarcely 
ever  replied  to  the  General  without  preluding  or  concluding 
with  "  Sir."  He  once  caught  my  eye,  and  saw  that  the 
"  sir  "  attracted  my  attention.  Stretching  his  head  slightly 
across  to  me,  he  said,  "  Recollect " — pointing  to  the  top  of 
the  table — "  he  was  my  chief  in  India,  I  must  not  forget 
that."  The  aged  General  was  much  attached  to  Mr.  Hume, 
and  this  feeling  was  fully  reciprocated. 

The  honorable  member  discovered  from  some  observa 
tions  which  I  made,  that  I  took  an  interest  in  the  navigation 
laws,  particularly  in  the  jurisdiction  of  the  Vice- Admiralty 
Court  in  New  South  Wales.  Finding  the  opportunity 
favorable,  I  entered  at  some  length  into  the  anomalous  pro 
visions  and  mischievous  workings  of  the  Act  2  William  IV. 
c.  51,  which  professed  to  regulate  the  practice  and  the  fees 
in  the  vice-admiralty  courts  abroad ;  and  I  showed  the  per 
nicious  consequences  of  the  system,  which  had  been  so 
forcibly  denounced  by  my  brother  at  Sydney,  in  the  deten 
tion  of  the  "  Margaret "  whaler,  under  the  provisions  of  the 
Act  in  question.1  This  discussion  led  to  intimate  relations 

1  Extract  of  letter  from  B.  Boyd,  of  Sydney,  New  South  Wales,  dated 
July  11,  1846,  to  M.  Boyd,  London: 

"  They  (the  navigation  laws),  as  at  present  administered  in  the  colonies, 
are  ruinously  expensive,  and  by  the  detention  of  vessels  alike  disastrous 
to  the  shipowner  and  to  the  shipper — leaving  not  only  the  ship  but  her 
valuable  cargo  completely  at  the  mercy  of  a  refractory  crew  who,  abetted 
by  designing  long-shore  attorneys,  are  ready  to  allege  the  omission  of 
performances  on  the  part  of  the  captain  of  some  condition  in  their  articles 
of  agreement ;  and  the  time  generally  selected  is  that  when  it  is  most 
vexatious,  namely,  the  moment  of  the  ship's  intended  departure.  On  the 
other  hand,  the  captain  possesses  no  practical  means  of  enforcing  redress 
for  non-performance  on  the  part  of  the  crew  of  any  portion  of  the  articles 
of  agreement.  The  exemption  from  the  effects  of  the  above  constitutes 
one  of  the  greatest  advantages  the  foreign  owner  possesses  over  the 
British,  consequently  a  repeal  of  the  British  navigation  laws  must  be 
simultaneously  accompanied  by  an  approximation  of  our  admiralty  laws 
to  those  of  other  maritime  nations,"  etc. 


240  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

between  Mr.  Hume  and  myself,  on  the  subject  of  the  repeal 
of  the  navigation  laws :  and  I  here  take  leave  to  mention, 
for  those  who  supposed  that  his  only  qualification  as  a 
member  of  Parliament  was  the  rigid  economy  which  he 
urged,  that  had  Mr.  Hume  possessed  debating  powers  com 
mensurate  with  the  labor  and  industry  which  he  used  in  his 
closet  to  master  details,  he  must  have  attained  a  very  high 
position  as  a  public  man.  The  question  of  the  repeal  of  the 
navigation  laws  was  one  which  I  frequently  discussed  with 
the  honorable  gentleman.  I  had  written  him  (23d  January, 
1847)  a  note  expressive  of  the  satisfaction  which  I  ex 
perienced  in  reading  his  remarks  in  the  House  of  Commons 
on  the  previous  Thursday  on  an  alteration  of  those  laws,  at 
the  same  time  enclosing  to  him  a  lengthened  extract  from 
a  letter  that  had  reached  me  from  my  brother  in  New  South 
Wales,  in  which  the  writer  expressed  (llth  July,  184G)  his 
satisfaction  that  Sir  Robert  Peel  had  carried  the  repeal  of 
the  corn  laws,  predicting  that  it  would  initiate  a  general 
system  of  free  trade,  in  which  the  navigation  laws  must  go 
by  the  board,  etc. 

That  Mr.  Hume  well  considered  and  probed  deeply  into 
every  subject  on  which  he  addressed  the  House  I  soon  be 
came  fully  persuaded ;  and  I  cannot  bring  an  instance  more 
strongly  corroborative  of  this  fact  than  the  following : 

My  letter  with  its  enclosure  was  dispatched  to  him  on 
the  morning  of  the  23d  January,  1847,  and  his  reply,  which 
I  now  transcribe,  was  dated  the  same  day. 

"BRYANSTON  SQUARE,  January  23,  1847. 

"  MY  DEAR  SIR  :  I  have  your  note  of  this  morning,  with 
an  extract  of  a  letter  from  your  brother  in  Sydney,  regard 
ing  the  mischievous  effects  of  the  navigation  and  admiralty 
laws  on  the  trade  and  commerce  of  that  part  of  the  country; 
and  it  is  somewhat  singular  (but  marks  the  universality  of 
the  evil)  that  your  brother  should  have  expressed  himself 


THE  LATE  JOSEPH  HUME,   M.  P.  241 

to  the  same  purport  as  I  felt  it  my  duty  to  do  in  the  House 
of  Commons  on  those  points.  I  have  been  attacking  these 
laws  for  the  past  three  years,  as  good  opportunities  offered, 
in  and  out  of  the  House.  But  I  have  been  left  alone, 
scarcely  one  M.  P.  has  ventured  to  support  me,  and  many 
have  objected  entirely  to  meddling  with  them.  My  chief 
opponents  have  been  and  are  the  shipowners,  who  of  all  the 
community  are  the  sufferers  the  most  •  and  they,  from  igno 
rance  of  the  working  of  these  laws,  have  always  objected  to 
relaxation  or  abolition ;  but  having  obtained  the  recogni 
tion  of  Free  Trade  principles  by  both  parties  in  the  House, 
I  have  taken  my  course  to  force  the  abolition  of  these  laws, 
and  commenced  with  the  first  move  in  the  House ;  and  as 
the  Government  have  agreed  to  a  committee  of  inquiry  into 
the  navigation  laws,  and  other  laics  affecting  our  commer 
cial  shipping,  I  shall  now  follow  it  out,  with  a  view  to  a 
total  abolition  of  these  restrictive  laws;  and  then  of  the 
complex  and  oppressive  admiralty  laws.*  If  you  can  con 
tribute  any  thing  to  point  out  where  and  to  what  extent  the 
existing  duties  on  ship  materials,  the  rules  and  regulations 
of  shipping,  etc.,  and  you  may  be  able  to  find  in  the  city 
some  well-informed  men  to  collect  information,  and  so  ex 
pose  the  abuses  and  burdens  of  the  present  system,  I  shall 
be  glad  to  hear.  Your  brother,  and  all  who  think  with  him, 
should  call  public  meetings  in  every  colony  and  place,  em 
bodying  all  their  complaints  in  petitions  to  Parliament,  and 
forward  them  for  presentation.  Such  proceedings  will  for 
ward  my  objects  against  the  prejudices  of  the  shipowners 
chiefly.  I  shall  be  pleased  to  receive  any  further  informa 
tion  from  you  on  the  subject,  and  remain,  etc., 

"JOSEPH  HUME. 
"M.  BOYD,  Esq." 

When  Mr.  Hume  wrote  me  this  off-handed  letter  he  was 
in  his  seventieth  year.     Shortly  after  this  I  received  from 
11 


242  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

the  honorable  member  a  notice  that  I  must  consider  my 
self  retained  by  him  as  a  witness  to  appear  before  the  com 
mittee  moved  for  by  Mr.  J.  L.  Ricardo  on  the  subject  of  the 
navigation  laws.  I  had,  therefore,  at  once  to  go  to  him  to 
assure  him  that  my  views  were  crude  and  undigested  on 
the  vexatious  operation  of  the  navigation  laws,  as  well  as 
in  respect  to  the  antiquated,  expensive,  and  cumbrous  ma 
chinery  of  the  Admiralty  laws,  which  in  the  colonies  were 
almost  as  dilatory  as  proceedings  in  our  Court  of  Chan 
cery.  I  had  further  to  apprise  the  veteran  statesman 
that  I  had  never  visited  a  British  colony,  that  my  voyages 
had  not  extended  beyond  the  Bay  of  Biscay,  the  Mediter 
ranean,  and  the  Baltic ;  that  during  those  short  experiences 
of  marine  life,  so  far  from  thinking  of  the  navigation  laws 
or  any  other  laws,  I  was  unceasingly  occupied  in  casting 
up  accounts  altogether  distinct  from  those  with  which  he 
had  been  battling  for  so  long  a  series  of  years  for  the  ad 
vantage  of  the  rfhtion.  At  this  he  smiled,  but  I  added, 
"  Mr.  Hume,  I  pledge  myself  to  produce  a  substitute  whose 
evidence  shall  do  good  service  in  your  committee-room." 
With  the  earnestness  of  a  man  thirty  years  younger,  he 
asked  me  to  whom  I  referred,  "  as  we  must"  he  said,  "  only 
bring  forward  witnesses  of  undeniable  experience."  See 
ing  how  anxious  he  was  on  the  point,  I  informed  him  I 
must  now  submit  to  him  what  I  considered  to  be  the  quali 
fications  of  the  gentleman  to  whom  I  alluded,  Mr.  Samuel 
Browning,  who,  while  engaged  in  commercial  pursuits,  had 
resided  in  France,  Holland,  Germany,  and  Portugal,  had 
passed  two  or  three  years  in  the  United  States,  during 
which  time  he  was  an  attentive  observer  of  every  thing  con 
nected  with  shipping  and  ship-building  there,  and  in  our 
North  American  colonies ;  moreover,  that  he  knew  our 
Australian  colonies  from  Swan  River  to  Sydney,  had  visited 
in  the  course  of  his  trading  the  chief  ports  of  China,  and  in 
mercantile  circles  was  looked  upon  as  a  man  of  extensive 


THE   LATE  JOSEPH  HUME,   M.  P.  243 

information.  "  Now,"  said  Mr.  Hume,  "  you  have  satisfied 
me  that  he  will  be  a  valuable  witness ;  and  we  must  go  to 
work  at  once,  for  every  day  is  of  consequence ;  the  com 
mittee  will  commence  its  sittings  within  a  fortnight,  and  I 
should  very  much  wish  to  have  some  meetings  with  Mr. 
Browning  and  you  previously ;  but  the  only  time  I  have  at 
command  is  from  ten  to  twelve  in  the  morning."  It  was 
then  arranged  that  our  first  conference  on  the  repeal  of  the 
navigation  laws  should  take  place  next  day  in  Bryanston 
Square,  at  Mr.  Hume's  house.  Mr.  Browning  and  I  were 
so  much  astonished  at  the  wonderful  vigor  and  energy 
which  a  man  of  threescore  and  ten  could  evince,  that  I 
made  the  following  memorandum  at  the  time :  "  Mr.  Brown 
ing  and  myself,  for  a  fortnight  before  the  committee  met, 
spent  two  hours  every  other  morning  with  Mr.  Hume,  from 
ten  to  twelve,  at  his  house  in  Bryanston  Square,  in  dis 
cussing  the  question  of  the  navigation  laws.  The  honor 
able  member  impressed  us  as  being  one  of  the  most  pains 
taking  and  methodical  men  of  business  we  had  ever  met. 
He  had  his  Parliamentary  reports  and  references  in  such 
order,  that  he  could  at  once  direct  his  secretary  to  look  up 
any  question  since  the  period  of  his  first  taking  his  seat  in 
the  House  of  Commons  (1811),  and  in  those  debates  where 
he  took  part,  or  in  the  evidence  before  committees  of  which 
he  was  a  member,  would  be  found  his  own  marginal  notes 
and  comments  in  the  Blue  Books.  He  mentioned  that  he 
had  found  these  notanda  invaluable  during  his  long  Par 
liamentary  career  in  abridging  labor." 

We  were  particularly  struck  with  the  systematic  man 
ner  in  which  the  old  gentleman  proceeded  to  elucidate  the 
question ;  and  I  well  recollect  his  calling  for  all  the  Blue 
Books  in  which  the  reports  of  different  committees  of  the 
House  of  Commons  on  the  combination  laws  appeared,  as 
he  was  desirous  Mr.  Browning  should  make  himself  ac 
quainted  with  the  bearings  of  this  branch  of  the  subject  on 


244  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

the  main  issue.  He  adduced  an  instance  somewhere  be 
tween  181 G  and  1820 — which  he  seemed  to  recollect  as  if 
it  had  happened  but  a  few  months  previously — of  the  ship 
builders  at  Dublin  being  compelled  in  consequence  of  the 
exactions  to  which  they  were  exposed  from  their  workmen, 
in  addition  to  the  mutinous  and  turbulent  spirit  existing 
among  this  body — to  invite  Scotch  ship-carpenters  from 
Greenock,  Leith,  and  other  places  in  the  north.  The  re 
sult  was  an  outbreak,  in  wrhich  two  of  the  Scotchmen  were 
killed  and  several  severely  injured,  and  the  others,  under 
threats  of  being  murdered,  were  only  too  happy  to  get  back 
to  Scotland  without  delay.  I  mention  these  particulars  to 
show  the  great  care  and  assiduity  with  which  Mr.  Hume 
collected  every  fact  that  bore  directly  or  even  remotely  on 
the  inquiry  he  was  conducting.  At  twelve  o'clock  he 
always  mounted  his  horse  to  ride  down  to  the  House,  where 
he  had  committees  to  attend,  or  other  business  occupying 
him  until  the  House  met.  I  believe  during  the  sitting  of 
Parliament,  with  the  exceptions  of  the  Wednesday  and 
Saturday,  he  rarely  was  ever  able  to  dine  with  his  family. 
There  was  something  peculiarly  agreeable  in  sitting,  as  I 
may  term  it,  in  council  with  the  ex-member  for  Weymouth, 
Middlesex,  and  Kilkenny,  and  the  de  facto  member  for 
Montrose.  My  own  responsibility  in  having  introduced  a 
witness  who  was  to  bear  the  brunt  of  examination  before  a 
committee  of  the  House  of  Commons  was  at  once  relieved  by 
Mr.  Hume  calling  me  back  at  the  conclusion  of  our  first  clay's 
sittings  in  Bryanston  Square  and  telling  me  in  a  whisper, 
"  I  like  your  friend  very  much ;  he  is  a  sound,  clear-headed 
man.  Don't  forget  Thursday,  at  ten  sharp." 

At  last  the  day  arrived  when  Mr.  Browning's  examina 
tion  was  to  begin  ;  it  occupied  three  meetings  of  the  com 
mittee.  On  the  first  day  the  late  Sir  Robert  Peel  was  un 
able  to  attend  as  a  member  of  it  until  two  o'clock,  but  he 
appeared  at  a  fortunate  moment,  as  one  of  the  committee 


THE  LATE  JOSEPH  HUME,  M.  P.  245 

who  seemed  quite  at  sea  on  the  subject  of.  the  navigation 
laws  was  asking  the  witness  a  question  which  neither  he 
nor  any  one  else  understood.  I  distinctly  saw  Mr.  Hume, 
who  was  as  much  of  an  economist  of  the  time  as  he  was  of 
the  money  of  the  public,  biting  his  lip  and  lisping  out,  "  Tit 
tit,''  in  other  words,  "  What  trash !  what  nonsense  1 "  when 
the  great  and  lucid  Sir  Robert  asked  permission  to  put  the 
question  differently,  and  subsequently  for  the  rest  of  the 
sitting  took  upon  himself  the  examination  of  Mr.  Brown 
ing. 

When  the  committee  rose,  Mr,  Hume  came  to  me  evi 
dently  much  satisfied,  and  said,  "  Don't  our  cock  fight  well  ? 
Do  you  see  how  Sir  Robert  listens  to  his  replies ;  and  I 
tell  you  further,  he  will  lose  no  more  of  Mr.  Browning's  evi 
dence."  Mr  Hume  was  right,  as  Sir  Robert  came  into  the 
committee-room  on  the  next  occasion  at  eleven,  and  re 
mained  throughout  the  day. 

The  following  week  Mr.  Browning  had  his  last  exami 
nation,  when  Sir  Robert  again  attended. 

There  was  another  instance  that  came  under  my  own 
observation,  showing  the  astonishing  perseverance  and  act 
ual  labor  which  the  aged  member  would  undergo  in  order 
to  detect  and  stop  an  abuse.  He  wrote  me  a  note  to  say 
that  he  hoped  he  would  find  me  at  home  the  following  day 
at  three,  as  he  wished  to  talk  to  me  on  a  subject  he  had 
serious  thoughts  of  calling  forthwith  to  the  attention  of 
Parliament — to  wit,  the  salvage  awarded  to  Her  Majesty's 
ships  for  assistance  rendered  to  merchant-ships  in  distress. 
He  asked  me  my  opinion  on  the  subject.  I  merely  an 
swered  in  general  terms,  that  I  considered  Her  Majesty's 
fleet  the  police  of  the  sea,  and  bound  to  render  all  and 
immediate  assistance  in  their  power  to  ships  under  the 
British  flag ;  and  I  presumed  the  Admiralty  would  expect 
their  officers  to  do  the  same  for  the  ships  of  an  alien  flag ; 
and  in  case  of  actual  salvage,  the  sum  awarded  to  be  as  a 


246  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

matter  of  course  regulated  according  to  the  risk  incurred. 
Sometimes,  I  said,  underwriters  complained,  and  with  good 
reason,  that  the  demands  made  by  British  ships-of-war  on 
account  of  salvage  were  exorbitant.  I  mentioned  an  in 
stance  of  the  kind  that  occurred  on  that  part  of  the  coast  of 
Scotland  with  which  I  was  connected.  A  large  trading- 
schooner  in  the  Irish  Channel  had  in  a  gale  of  wind  lost  her 
captain,  mate,  and  all  the  crew,  with  the  exception  of  the  cook 
and  cabin-boy,  in  a  gallant  attempt  to  rescue  the  crew  of  a 
sinking  vessel.  The  cook  knew  the  Isle  of  Whithorn,  and 
with  the  assistance  of  the  boy  got  the  vessel  before  the 
wind,  and  ran  her  safely  into  port.  When  the  vessel  had 
got  into  smooth  water,  and  all  danger  of  being  wrecked  at 
an  end,  she  was  boarded  by  the  officer  and  boat's  crew  of 
one  of  Her  Majesty's  revenue  cutters  who  assisted  in  mooring 
her.  Lloyd's  agent  summoned  a  jury  of  county  gentlemen  to 
take  evidence  and  award  compensation.  I,  as  a  lad,  was 
present.  The  captain  of  the  revenue  cutter  claimed  £1,000 
salvage.  My  father,  who  had  been  formerly  an  extensive 
underwriter,  and  fully  understanding  the  question,  but  with 
no  personal  interest  in  it  whatever,  pointed  to  the  cook 
and  cabin-boy  as  the  real  salvors.  It  ended  by  the  revenue 
cutter  receiving  £100  for  their  services,  and  the  cook  and 
boy  being  recommended  to  the  liberal  consideration  of  the 
underwriters.  "  But,"  said  Mr.  Hume,  "  I  can  put  my  fin 
ger  on  a  case  where  a  British  merchant-captain  on  the 
coast  of  South  America  found  his  ship,  owing  to  a  strong 
current,  drifting  on  shore,  although  still  some  miles  from  it. 
He  applied  to  the  captain  of  a  British  man-of-war  for  assist 
ance,  but  as  the  vessel  was  not  in  immediate  danger,  the 
gallant  naval  captain  withheld  his  aid  until  the  merchant 
man  was  in  a  position  of  danger.  Then  the  assistance  was 
rendered,  and  the  ship  was  worked  out  to  sea,  for  which  a 
large  claim  for  salvage  followed."  Mr.  Hume  considered 
the  case  most  flagrant  and  wished  to  expose  it ;  and  had  he 


ST.  THOMAS,  W.  INDIES,  AND  ST.  THOMAS,  OXFORD.    247 

done  so,  I  very  much  fear  the  captain's  commission  would 
have  been  cancelled.  His  opinion  was,  that  a  British  man- 
of-war  was  paid  by  the  country  to  protect  its  ships  and 
commerce,  and  had  no  legal  claim  to  salvage.  This  was 
the  view  he  held  twenty-five  years  ago.  I  have  quoted 
these  facts  in  regard  to  Mr.  Hume  at  greater  length  than  I 
intended,  as  coming  within  my  own  knowledge ;  but  they 
may  be  interesting  to  those  who  knew  that  excellent  man 
only  by  report ;  and  from  such  examples  they  may  form  a 
pretty  correct  estimate  of  the  value  of  a  Parliamentary 
career  which  commenced  in  1811  and  closed  only  in  1855. 

97.  St.  Thomas  in  the  West  Indies,  and  St.  Thomas  in 
the  City  of  Oxford. 

I  never  hear  our  former  West  India  possession  of  St. 
Thomas  mentioned  without  mentally  connecting  it  with  the 
parish  of  St.  Thomas  in  Oxford.  I  was  passing  a  week  in 
the  learned  city  at  the  time  that  Mr.  Maclean,  one  of  the 
members  for  Oxford,  was  visiting  his  constituents.  Mr.  Al 
derman  Tawney  was  then  Mayor ;  and,  at  his  residence  in 
St.  Thomas's  in  the  suburbs,  all  the  friends  of  the  honorable 
and  learned  member  received  great  kindness  and  hospitality. 
Among  other  visitors  was  the  worthy  M.  P.'s  father,  General 
Sir  Fitzroy  Maclean,  Bart.  I  came  in  for  a  full  share  of  the 
hospitality  of  the  week ;  and  I  partook  of  it  without  pre 
judice,  as  my  politics  were  not  exactly  in  accord  with  the 
"  Macleanites." 

At  the  conclusion  of  one  of  the  dinners  in  the  city  at 
which  the  Mayor  was  not  present,  and  sitting  next  to  Sir 
Fitzroy,  I  said  to  him  in  rising,  "  I  know  you  will  support 
me  in  the  toast  I  am  about  to  propose — the  health  of  our 
kind  friends  at  St.  Thomas's."  It  was  received  with  a 
round  of  applause,  when  to  my  utter  surprise  uprose  the 
vigorous  old  general  who  had  braved  more  years  in  the 


248  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

West  Indies  than  probably  any  other  officer  in  the  British 
army,  and  addressed  the  company  in  an  animated  speech. 
The  following  is  an  outline  of  what  he  said  :  "  Gentlemen, 
I  thank  you  sincerely  for  the  manner  in  which  you  have 
received  the  toast  proposed  by  my  excellent  young  friend — 
(putting  his  hand  on  my  shoulder) — I  consider  the  enthusi 
asm  with  which  you  have  accepted  the  toast  a  great  per 
sonal  compliment.  It  has  brought  back  the  recollection  of 
events  that  occurred  nearly  thirty  years  ago  "  (a  masonic 
sign  now  passed  round  the  table  directed  to  me  not  to  un 
deceive  the  worthy  baronet).  "Gentlemen,"  exclaimed 
Sir  Fitzroy  in  clear  and  emphatic  language,  "  I  hoisted  my 
ilag  as  governor  of  the  island  of  St.  Thomas  on  September 
8,  1808,  and  that  flag  was  not  lowered  until  April  15,  1815, 
when  that  island  and  the  island  of  St.  John — of  both  I  was 
governor — were  restored  to  the  Danish  Government.  I  was 
also  sole  Commissioner  for  the  Dutch  and  Danish  loans. 
Gentlemen,  during  that  eventful  period  I  maintained  un 
tarnished  the  honor  of  the  flag  of  England.  I  protected  the 
commerce  of  our  merchants,  and,  by  holding  the  scales  of 
justice  impartially,  I  reaped  my  reward,  on  retiring  from 
the  responsible  duties  I  held,  by  being  pronounced  a  pains 
taking  and  popular  governor."  In  fact,  the  gallant  ex- 
governor  of  St.  Thomas  made  an  admirable  speech,  the  only 
portions  of  which  that  alarmed  me  and  placed  me  on  the 
horns  of  a  dilemma  were,  when  he  turned  to  me  to  repeat 
his  thanks  for  referring  to  that  colony  in  \vhich  his  most 
important  public  services  had  been  fulfilled — of  which  fact, 
until  that  evening,  I  was  as  ignorant  as  the  rest  of  the 
company,  the  members  of  his  own  family  present  excepted, 
but  who  were  equally  anxious  the  secret  should  not  ooze 
out.  We  had  to  attend  a  public  ball  the  same  night,  and 
although  this  post-prandial  />/a/s«?i£m'e  had  created  vast 
amusement  and  Sir  Fitzroy  was  the  happiest  of  all,  I  felt 
miserable,  for,  as  I  knew  the  world  to  be  at  times  censorious, 


SIR  FITZROY  MACLEAN  AND  THE  HORSE  GUARDS.     249 

I  was  convinced  that  before  the  evening  was  over,  some 
kind  friend  would  let  out  the  joke,  and  that  the  gallant  old 
Highland  chieftain  would  come  down  upon  me  with  his 
claymore  for  not  being  ingenuous  toward  the  representative 
of  Gillian-ni-Tuiodh.  Each  time  the  old  baronet  found  I 
was  not  dancing,  he  stuck  his  arm  into  mine,  I  receiving  a 
repetition  of  praise  for  so  thoughtfully  and  appropriately 
connecting  him  with  the  island  of  St.  Thomas,  which  he 
remarked  his  son's  supporters  in  Oxford  never  would  have 
known  had  it  not  been  for  me,  and  I,  in  return,  telling  him, 
what  was  strictly  true,  that  his  speech  was  the  best  and 
most  interesting  delivered  that  evening.  "  All's  well  that 
ends  wefl.w  Still,  in  promenading  the  ballroom,  knowing 
as  I  did  that  even  the  mothers  and  daughters  had  heard  of 
my  short  speech  and  Sir  Fitzroy's  long  one,  I  found  myself 
walking  on  glass,  terrified  lest  some  cruel  wag  might  peach, 
for  the  General  was  commonly  reported  by  those  who  served 
with  him  in  the  army  to  be  as  "  jealous  in  honor,  as  he  was 
sudden  and  quick  in  quarrel."  For  myself  I  never  saw 
any  thing  that  even  augured  a  tendency  to  the  latter.  Be 
that  as  it  may,  I  was  delighted  to  see  "  the  Maclean  "  inside 
the  stage-coach  for  London  next  forenoon ;  and  from  him  I 
received  as  hearty  "  a  grip  of  the  louf  (shake  of  the  hand) " 
as  any  Scotchman  ever  gave  another.  After  this,  in  occa 
sionally  meeting  Sir  Fitzroy  on  his  way  to  his  club,  his 
greeting  was  always  of  the  kindest  description,  and  our 
conversation  rarely  failed  to  include  some  reference  to  St. 
Thomas  in  the  West  Indies,  which  with  equal  certainty 
brought  vividly  before  me  St.  Thomas  in  the  city  of  Oxford. 

98.    General  Sir  Fitzroy  Maclean,  Bart.,  and  the 
Horse  Guards. 

Like  many  other  distinguished  officers  whose  services 
had  been  confined  to  the  capture  and  defence  of  our  West 


250  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

India  islands,  not  having  shared  in  the  glories  of  the  Penin 
sular  campaign,  Sir  Fitzroy  felt  acutely  being  overlooked 
from  time  to  time  at  the  Horse  Guards.  But,  as  he  himself 
told  me,  that,  having  battled  a  West  Indian  climate  for  so 
many  years,  and  been  actively  engaged  at  the  reduction  of 
various  islands,  wearing  a  medal  for  Guadaloupe,  etc.,  see 
ing  how  patronage  ran  after  Waterloo  in  one  channel,  he 
early  made  up  his  mind  to  keep  his  own  claims  before  the 
authorities  at  the  Horse  Guards,  where  His  Royal  Highness 
the  Duke  of  York  candidly  confessed  to  him,  when  a  regi 
ment  became  vacant,  that  it  had  been  secured  for  so  and  so, 
who,  as  Sir  Fitzroy  said,  was  almost  invariably  a  Peninsu 
lar  or  Waterloo  officer.  Levee  after  levee  without  fail 
found  the  General  wending  his  steps  to  pay  his  respects  to 
the  Commander-in-Chief,  frequently  not  meeting  with  the 
most  courteous  reception  either  from  His  Royal  Highness 
or  Sir  Herbert  Taylor.  Still,  his  resolution  to  present  him 
self  on  the  appointed  day  was,  like  the  laws  of  the  Medes 
and  Persians,  unchangeable.  One  day  while  in  the  waiting- 
room,  the  door  of  the  Duke's  sanctum  being  open,  he  heard 
His  Royal  Highness  ask  Sir  Herbert  what  officers  had  ar 
rived  for  the  levee.  "  Maclean,  as  usual,"  was  the  reply. 
On  which  the  Duke,  in  language,  if  not  altogether  refined 
was  most  consoling  to  the  ears  of  the  Highland  chieftain  : 
"  I  tell  you  what  it  is,  Taylor,  I  may  offend  Wellington, 
but  I  cannot  help  it,  as  I  am  resolved  that  Maclean  shall 
have  the  first  regiment  that  becomes  vacant." 

After  this  burst  of  royal  indignation  had  somewhat 
calmed  down,  out  came  Sir  Herbert,  and  said,  "  Maclean, 
don't  wait  to  see  the  Duke  to-day,  His  Royal  Highness  has 
had  a  good  deal  to  worry  him  ;  but  I  may  tell  you  matters 
look  very  well  for  you."  "  My  walk,"  said  Sir  Fitzroy, 
"  on  my  return  from  the  Horse  Guards,  was  the  most  agree 
able  I  had  had  since  I  first  obtained  my  commission.  A 
few  weeks  only  passed  when  my  next  visit  to  the  Horse 


MR.  SIMON  COCK  AND  COLONEL  WILSON,  M.  P.       251 

Guards  was  to  thank  His  Royal  Highness  for  having  ap 
pointed  me  to  the  command  of  the  84th  Regiment,  to  which 
I  was  gazetted  on  July  28,  1823,  being  subsequently  trans 
ferred,  December  30,  1840,  to  the  45th  Regiment.  Ah, 
you  young  men  should  keep  impressed  on  your  minds 
through  life,  as  I  have  done  ever  since  I  left  school,  those 
words,  '  nil  desperandum,'  and  '  persevere.' ': 

99.  Mr.  Simon  Cock  of  the  City  of  London,  and  Colonel 
Wilson  of  the  Ceety  of  York,  M.  P. 

My  friend,  the  late  Mr.  Simon  Cock,  was  a  man  of  high 
mental  capacity,  so  much  so,  in  fact,  as  to  have  attracted, 
when  a  youth,  the  notice  of  William  Pitt.  In  after-years, 
from  his  great  commercial  and  financial  abilities,  he  was  on 
different  occasions  employed  by  the  Government  of  the 
day  in  negotiating  with  foreign  powers  on  commercial 
matters,  such  as  the  removal  and  modification  of  restrictive 
duties,  and  had  his  career  been  in  Parliament  and  his  party 
been  in  power,  he  must  have  attained  to  the  Chancellor 
ship  of  the  Exchequer  or  the  Presidency  of  the  Board  of 
Trade. 

He  was  a  man  of  benign  and  intellectual  aspect,  re 
minding  me  both  in  height  and  appearance  of  a  former 
prime  minister,  Earl  Grey.  In  latter  years  he  was  a  sad 
martyr  to  asthma,  but  when  relieved  for  a  time  of  his  suf 
ferings  was  one  of  the  most  delightful  and  cheerful  com 
panions  at  the  head  of  his  own  table  or  at  the  table  of  a 
friend.  I  remember  a  very  laughable  incident,  in  which 
Mr.  Cock  was  the  chief  actor  and  exponent. 

We  had  met  at  the  table  of  a  most  hospitable  country 
man  of  mine  in  Portland  Place,  where  there  was  a  fairly- 
balanced  proportion  of  the  English,  Irish,  and  Scotch  ele 
ment,  represented  respectively  by  Sir  John  Lowther,  the 
late  Lord  Keane,  and  Colin  Campbell  (afterward  Lord 


252  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

Clyde),  One  of  the  party,  a  Scotchman,  and  acknowledged 
on  all  sides  to  be  one  of  the  strangest  specimens  of  the 
Caledonian  to  be  met  with,  had  gone  out  to  the  West  In 
dies  from  the  village  of  Moffat  some  forty  years  previously, 
and  evidently  long  before  he  had  finished  his  education. 
Fortune,  however,  had  favored  him,  as  he  was  enabled  to 
return  to  England  with  a  handsome  fortune  a  little  over 
middle  life,  and  the  first  investment  he  made  of  a  portion 
of  it  was  in  the  purchase  of  a  castle  and  estate  in  York 
shire,  becoming  very  shortly  afterward  one  of  the  repre 
sentatives  for  York  in  Parliament.  Finding  that  I  was 
from  Scotland,  he  communicated  to  me  the  fact  that  he  also 
was  from  that  part  of  the  world,  and  imparted  to  me  the 
high  senatorial  position  he  held,  as  well  as  his  former  mili 
tary  rank,  a  colonel  of  West  India  militia.  He  then 
touched  upon  the  important  annual  motion  approaching  in 
Parliament  for  the  repeal  of  the  Corn  Laws,  on  which  sub 
ject  he  considered  it  incumbent  that  he  should  lay  his 
opinions,  through  the  medium  of  the  House  of  Commons, 
before  the  country.  "  You  must  keep  in  mind  the  position 
I  hold,  as  one  of  the  two  members  for  the  second  ceety  in 
England.  It  is  absolutely  requeered  o'  me  that  I  should 
speak ;  ma  constituents  will  expect  it,  and  I  would  not 
like  to  disappoint  them.  I  should  further  tell  you,  Mr. 
Boyd,  that  I  am  an  auld  Tory,  what  they  ca  noo  a  Con 
servative,  and  that  the  Hare  woods,  and  in  fact  #'  the  Las- 
celles  family,  and  the  Lowthers  there  " — Sir  John  Lowther 
was  sitting  opposite — "  will  look  oot  for  me  speaking  on  the 
motion  ;  but  I  should  just  tell  you  that  I  am  vera  far  frae 
being  weel  up  on  the  subject."  "  Then,  colonel,  as  you 
have  made  up  your  mind  to  join  in  the  debate,  the  very 
ablest  man  you  could  consult  on  so  important  a  matter  is 
our  friend  there,  Mr.  Simon  Cock."  "  That's  a  vera  good 
suggestion,  Mr.  Boyd."  Although  it  was  our  first  time  of 
meeting  each  other,  he  was  by  no  means  reticent  on  the 


MR.  SIMON  COCK  AND  COLONEL  WILSON,  M.  P.       253 

important  political  attitude  he  was  about  to  assume  in  the 
Hoose,  therefore,  so  soon  after  dinner  as  the  opportunity 
offered,  he  at  my  suggestion  addressed  Mr.  Cock,  or  rather 
Mr.  I£oke,  the  name  he  gave  him  throughout  the  evening. 
"  Mr.  JZbke,  you  are  aware  that  the  annual  motion  for  the 
repeal  o'  the  Corn  Laws,  which  is  a'  nonesense,  is  coming 
on,  and  I  think  as  I  am  member  for  the  second  ceety  in  the 
kingdom,  and  never  yet  having  spokken  in  the  Hoose,  I 
must  do  so  noo.  But,  Mr.  Jfoke,  I  should  tell  you  that  I 
hae  never  thocht  ower  (over)  the  subject,  and  therefore 
should  feel  greatly  obleeged  to  you  if  you  would  kindly 
write  oot  a  bit  o'  a  speech  for  me."  All  eyes  were  directed 
to  Mr.  Cock,  whose  gravity  and  dry  humor  were  now  to  be 
tested.  "  Well,  colonel,  you  must  first  inform  me  what 
your  precise  views  are."  "  JVbo,  Mr.  Koke^  there's  exactly 
where  you  might  assist  me,  for  I  tell  you  candidly,  I  ken 
(know)  far  mair  aboot  West  India  sugar  than  English 
corn."  "  Then  am  I  to  understand  that  you  will  oppose 
Mr.  Villiers's  views  on  corn-law  repeal  ? "  "  Oh,  cer 
tainly,  and  I  should  like  to  speak  early  in  the  debate." 
This  we  all  highly  approved  of.  "  N~oo,  Mr.  jQTo/ce,  under 
stand  me,  when  I  tell  you  that  I  am  for  the  maintenance  o' 
the  Corn  Laws,  I  tal?  the  same  view  with  Lord  Harewood, 
and  a*  the  Lascelles  clique,  and  with  ma  f Tien?  there,  Sir  John 
Lowther."  "  Well,  colonel,  you  have  made  it  quite  clear 
what  I  have  to  do  for  you,  but  as  you  hold  the  prominent 
position  of  member  of  Parliament  for  the  ancient  and  his 
torical  city  of  York—"  "  Quite  true,  Mr.  Koke."  "  Would 
you  not  like  to  bring  forward,  which  you  could  introduce 
in  the  course  of  your  argument,  a  scale  of  protective  duties 
of  your  own — something  different  from  the  present  scale — 
an  original  idea  and  suggestion  coming  from  yourself?" 
"  That's  excellent,  Mr.  I£ohe,  it  would  be  the  vera  maJdn1 
o'  me  as  a  politician,  and  there's  no  man  that  would  be 
better  pleased  than  mafrien?  Sir  John  Lowther,  for  there's 


254  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

nae  jealousy  between  us."  "  Colonel,  I  shall  be  delighted." 
It  may  easily  be  conceived  the  amusement  all  this  afforded, 
with  the  accompaniment  of  Mr.  Cock's  humorous  remarks. 
"  JVbo,  Mr.  I£oke,  ye  maun  mak  (must  make)  the  hale  o' 
the  speech  for  me,  and  I  promise  you  to  get  mysel  weel  up 


Accordingly  Mr.  Cock  a  day  or  two  afterward  fulfilled 
his  promise  verbatim  et  literatim,  for  he  wrote  out  in  plain 
and  distinct  language  a  most  excellent  speech  for  the  honor 
able  member  for  the  ceety  o'  York  or  for  any  other  honorable 
member  advocating  non-repeal  principles.  Unfortunately 
for  the  colonel,  the  speech  was  written  on  half  sheets  of 
paper  on  one  side  only,  to  which  he  had  not  been  accus 
tomed.  But  the  great  misfortune  to  which  he  was  exposed, 
was  an  omission  on  Mr.  Cock's  part  in  not  numbering  his 
leaves.  Hence  the  catastrophe  that  ensued,  otherwise  the 
colonel  might  have  gone  down  to  posterity  as  famous  as 
"  Single-speech  Hamilton."  The  night  of  debate  arrived, 
but  I  had  been  unsuccessful  in  getting  my  name  on  the 
Speaker's  list,  or  an  admission  to  the  gallery.  I  was  told 
that  a  fair  muster  of  the  gallant  colonel's  political  admirers 
were  in  their  places,  as  he  was  to  speak  early,  who  were 
much  amused  to  witness  the  assiduity  with  which  he  was 
perusing  his  lesson  and  turning  over  the  half-dozen  sheets 
of  manuscript.  That  he  had  got  the  speech  by  heart  in 
cumulo  there  is  no  reason  to  doubt,  as  he  delivered  the 
first  page  of  the  exordium  with  great  fluency,  and  in  a  ver 
nacular  so  pure  as  to  bring  back  to  the  House  of  Commons, 
in  the  recollection  of  one  or  two  members  who  still  sur 
vived,  the  days  of  Pitt's  famous  minister,  Dundas.  Had 
the  leaves  of  his  brief  only  been  paged,  so  excellent  was 
the  colonel's  memory,  that  those  who  heard  him,  and  were 
in  the  secret,  felt  convinced  that  although  "  they  came  to 
laugh,  they  would  have  stayed  to  praise  ;  "  but  as  he  de 
livered  the  contents  of  page  4  where  2  should  have  come, 


BALLOONING.  255 

and  5  instead  of  3,  etc.,  he  produced  a  medley  such  as  sel 
dom  had  been  served  up  in  the  House  of  Commons. 

I  dined  with  Mr.  Cock  the  day  after  the  speech  was  re 
ported  in  the  papers,  and  the  first  thing  he  said  was,  "  I  am 
the  luckiest  man  in  London,  for  it  was  ten  to  one,  when 
the  member  for  the  ceety  o'  York  found  he  was  interrupted 
in  the  delivery  of  his  oration,  he  had  not  informed  the 
House  that  the  views  he  held  on  the  subject  were  those  of 
Mr.  Simon  Cock.  If  this  had  happened,"  continued  my  fa 
cetious  friend,  "  I  should  have  passed  under  the  sobriquet 
of  the  ex-member  for  the  ceety  o'  York  for  the  rest  of  my 
life." 

100.  Ballooning. 

Aerostation  was  one  of  the  hobbies  with  which  my 
brother  was  at  one  time  greatly  enamoured,  and  he  repeat 
edly  ascended  with  Green  in  his  balloon  from  Vauxhall. 
To  this  my  father  was  insurmountably  opposed,  as  danger 
ous  and  expensive  too. 

My  father  did  all  in  his  power  to  alter  his  son's  taste 
for  ballooning,  and  the  result  of  a  recent  descent  pleased 
him  immensely,  for  one  evening  Mr.  Green  and  his  friends 
made  their  descent  with  difficulty,  and  were  sadly  knocked 
about  in  landing,  my  brother  reaching  his  home  black  and 
blue;  indeed,  how  they  escaped  with  their  lives  puzzled 
many.  The  events  connected  with  this  ascent  and  descent 
had  quite  an  opposite  effect  to  what  my  father  anticipated. 
They  only  whetted  his  son's  appetite  for  ballooning.  One 
beautiful  summer  evening,  a  clear  and  serene  sky,  not  a 
breath  of  wind,  Vauxhall  was  in  all  her  crowded  glory,  and 
it  was  announced  that  Green's  balloon  would  ascend  at 
half-past  six.  The  grappling-iron  was  all  right  this  time ; 
no  apprehensions  felt  by  those  about  to  enter  the  car  of 
being  bumped  on  returning  to  mother  earth,  as  on  the  last 
occasion.  I  heard  my  brother  describe  this  ascent  to  his 


256  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

father  as  one  of  ineffable  stillness,  for,  as  he  wittily  re 
marked,  even  while  floating  slowly  over  the  Houses  of 
Lords  and  Commons  he  could  discover  no  "  sensible  mo 
tion."  In  the  present  case,  what  little  wind  there  was 
shifted,  and  at  the  end  of  an  hour  and  a  half  after  leaving 
Vauxhall,  Mr.  Green  espied  an  inviting  spot  to  cast  anchor, 
which  he  thought  to  be  Osterley  Park,  the  Earl  of  Jersey's, 
and  as  there  was  a  party  chiefly  of  the  fairer  portion  of 
creation  gazing  most  anxiously  at  the  balloon,  they  were 
unanimous  in  their  desire  for  a  descent  among  the  ladies. 
This  the  skilled  aeronaut  readily  accomplished,  for  in  a 
few  minutes  he  had  his  party  blending,  as  he  supposed, 
with  the  visitors  of  the  Earl  and  Countess  of  Jersey.  It, 
however,  proved  not  to  be  Osterley  Park,  and  the  names 
of  the  host  and  hostess  were  not  distinctly  heard.  The  re 
ception  was  of  the  heartiest  description,  indeed  extremely 
flattering  to  the  intrepid  voyageurs,  and  the  ladies  col 
lected  round  the  balloon  to  witness  the  process  of  its  being 
emptied  of  its  gas,  in  which  Green  was  assisted  by  the  ser 
vants  of  the  establishment.  When  this  was  complete,  and 
the  machine  ready  for  a  land  journey  to  London,  the  party 
were  invited  to  the  hall,  where  they  found  the  hospitable 
board  already  provided  with  every  thing  in  the  shape  of 
fruit  and  wines  the  most  fastidious  could  desire.  The  lady 
whom  my  brother  handed  to  table,  immediately  on  being 
seated,  touched  him  confidentially  on  the  arm,  at  the  same 
time  bringing  her  lips  as  close  to  his  as  propriety  could 
sanction,  addressed  him  in  a  whisper — "Pray  don't  tell  Sir 
Henry,  but  I  am  going  to  London  to-night  with  you  in  the 
balloon."  My  brother  began  to  puzzle  his  brain  who  Sir 
Henry  could  be,  and  this  lady's  strange  conversation  in 
creased  his  perplexity.  At  last  Sir  Henry  said,  "I  hope, 
Lady  Ellis,  you  are  attending  to  your  friends  at  your  end 
of  the  table."  The  problem  that  had  been  working  in  my 
brother's  mind  was  instantly  solved.  The  Bal-loonatics, 


ANOTHER  BALLOON  ADVENTURE.        257 

as  my  father  called  them  (the  first  time  it  was  alleged  he 
had  ever  been  suspected  of  approaching  any  thing  border 
ing  on  a  bon  mot)  were  the  inmates  of  Sir  Henry  Ellis's 
asylum  for  insane  patients,  and  where,  as  a  witty  friend  re 
marked,  they  had  been  most  hospitably  treated^  as  their 
strait  waistcoats  testified. 

My  father  declared  that  had  he  been  a  commissioner 
of  lunacy  or  a  magistrate  for  that  county,  he  would  have 
sentenced  one  and  all  of  Mr.  Green's  party  to  the  custody 
of  Sir  Henry  Ellis  for  the  period  of  one  month,  paying  their 
own  costs.  Such  a  sentence,  he  confidently  stated,  would 
do  more  to  put  down  ballooning  than  any  thing  else. 

101.  Another  Balloon  Adventure. 

The  comparative  cheapness  of  coal  gas  and  a  feat 
which  Mr.  Robert  Holland,  then  M.  P.  for  Hastings,  in 
conjunction  with  two  friends,  achieved  under  the  guardian 
ship  of  the  veteran  Green,  made  this  recreation  highly  fash 
ionable.  In  a  stupendous  balloon  carrying  a  ton  of  ballast 
they  ascended  from  Vauxhall  in  November,  1836,  crossed 
the  Channel,  and  after  a  flight  of  eighteen  hours  descended 
safely  in  Germany  in  the  territory  of  Nassau.  This  revived 
the  hope  that  balloons  might  be  rendered  available  for  use 
ful  purposes.  Mr.  Green  was  open  to  any  reasonable  prop 
osition,  and  was  of  opinion — the  wish  being  father  to  the 
thought — that,  if  the  wind  blew  steadily  from  the  south,  the 
balloon  would  go  direct  through  the  heart  of  England  and 
Scotland,  and  land  its  cargo  in  Sutherlandshire. 

Important  arrangements  were  now  going  forward  vig 
orously  in  the  Green  cabinet,  and  brilliant  anticipations  of 
some  great  achievement  were  discussed,  as  Green  and  his 
friends  projected  an  all-important  aerial  experiment.  The 
party  numbered  six,  including  the  veteran  pilot.  He  had 
issued  his  instructions,  on  perceiving  the  wind  to  be  com- 


258  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

ing  round  to  the  point  desired,  that  the  five  savants  should 
hold  themselves  in  readiness  to  join  him  at  Vauxball  with- 
in  half  an  hour  of  receiving  his  message.  Two  days'  pro 
visions,  with  a  moderate  quantity  of  wine  and  brandy,  were 
already  on  board  the  balloon,  now  swinging  at  anchor  with 
in  the  "  Royal  Property,"  as  Vauxhall  was  called ;  and  as 
Mr.  Holland's  party  had  carried  up  a  ton  of  ballast,  Green 
authorized  each  to  have  a  small  carpet-bag,  in  addition  to 
a  warm  overcoat,  in  case,  through  some  unforeseen  contin 
gency,  they  reached  nearer  Greenland  or  Nova  Zembla  than 
contemplated  in  their  programme.  The  writs  of  summons 
were  at  last  issued  by  the  aeronaut,  and  within  an  hour 
the  savants  were  afloat,  with  the  choicest  wind,  to  all  ap 
pearance,  that  could  blow  for  Scotland.  Shortly  afterward 
they  found  themselves  amid  strata  of  dense  clouds,  and,  to 
their  infinite  chagrin,  the  wind  was  blowing  strongly  from 
an  opposite  quarter  to  what  it  was  when  they  left  Vaux 
hall.  Green  wTas  sanguine  of  meeting  with  a  different  cur 
rent  ;  at  all  events,  he  must  give  his  passengers  an  airing, 
and  therefore  allowed  the  balloon  ,to  pursue  its  own  course, 
which  proved  to  be  a  most  rapid  one,  for  on  clearing  the 
clouds  through  which  they  had  been  passing  for  an  hour 
and  a  half,  they  discovered,  to  their  utter  confusion  and 
consternation,  the  Bill  of  Portland,  and  the  wide  expanse 
of  the  Channel  before  them,  so  that,  instead  of  crossing  the 
Grampians  during  the  night,  as  they  had  calculated  upon 
doing,  they  had  an  immediate  prospect  of  spending  it  in 
the  Bay  of  Biscay.  An  instant  descent  followed,  but,  on 
nearing  the  earth,  Green  found  it  impossible  to  effect  a 
landing,  and  having  unfortunately  let  off  more  of  his  hydro 
gen-gas  power  than  he  should,  he  was  forced  to  lighten 
his  ship  by  discharging  cargo,  so  overboard  went  carpet 
bags,  great-coats,  and  even  provisions,  knives  and  forks, 
port,  sherry,  and  brandy.  Having  again  reached  a  sufficient 
altitude,  he  was  able  to  select  a  spot  where  he  landed  his 


A  FRIEND   OUTSIDE   THE   FOREIGN  OFFICE.          259 

living  freight  safely,  one  or  two  of  the  party  having  lost 
their  carpet-bags,  and  all  of  them  their  dinner,  as  well  as 
their  great-coats. 

The  only  advantage  I  ever  heard  the  scientific  world 
was  to  gain  by  this  ascent  and  descent  was  in  being 
afforded  an  opportunity  of  inspecting  on  our  sideboard  a 
wine-glass  that  had  been  thrown  out  of  the  balloon  at 
some  fabulous  height,  and  had  fallen  in  a  ploughed  field 
without  breaking.  This  was  considered  so  very  remarkable 
that  the  glass  was  encased  in  silver,  on  which  the  full  in 
scription  of  the  great  height  it  had  fallen  from  Green's  bal 
loon  was  stated. 

After  this  there  was  a  gradual  subsidence  with  my  rela 
tive  in  his  balloon  mania,  as  he  ascended  only  once  after 
ward  with  Mr.  Green.  Mr.  MacCulloch,  the  eminent  politi 
cal  economist,  in  dining  with  us  a  few  days  afterward,  was 
most  anxious  to  learn  where  he  had  landed  on  this  occasion. 
The  answer  was,  "  Among  the  flats  of  Essex."  "  A  most 
appropriate  locality,"  exclaimed  my  distinguished  country 
man,  "  and  one  which  shows  how  true  it  is  that  ;  birds  of  a 
feather  flock  together.' " 

102.  A  Friend  outside  the  Foreign  Office. 

I  wrote  the  following,  after  reading  an  admirable  notice 
of  the  deceased  lady  in  a  leading  journal : 

My  late  friend,  Mr.  William  Watson,  a  most  intelligent 
merchant  at  Liverpool,  who  had  spent  many  years  in  Mex 
ico,  arrived  in  town  late  in  the  day  to  solicit  an  interview 
with  Lord  Palmerston  at  the  Foreign  Office ;  but  as  it  was 
after  office-hours,  he  accompanied  me  to  my  residence  in 
Kent,  to  spend  the  night,  hoping  to  be  able  next  day  to 
explain  to  his  lordship  the  grievance  under  which  he  and 
others  connected  with  the  trade  of  Mexico  suffered.  I  ad 
vised  my  friend  to  be  at  the  Foreign  Office  next  day  about 
three  o'clock,  where  he  was  informed  that  his  lordship  had 


2GO  REMINISCENCES  OP  FIFTY  YEARS. 

not  arrived.  As  time  pressed,  he  was  recommended  to  wait 
upon  his  lordship  at  his  private  residence  in  Carlton  Gar 
dens,  but  he  was  not  at  home.  Mr.  Watson  had  just  said 
to  the  servant,  "  How  unlucky  !  "  when  Lady  Palmerston, 
who  was  passing  at  the  moment  to  get  into  her  carriage, 
heard  this,  and  immediately  said,  "  I  know  Lord  Palmer 
ston  will  return  in  a  few  minutes ;  pray  do  come  to  the 
drawing-room,"  her  ladyship  leading  the  way. 

Mr.  Watson  was  a  man  of  exceedingly  good  and  win 
ning  address,  and  possessed  of  more  than  a  common  share 
of  bonhomie  ;  he  was  made  d  son  aise  by  Lady  Palmerston, 
who  said, "  I  find  you  are  very  anxious  to  see  my  husband ; 
pray  tell  me  all  about  it."  Mr.  Watson  began  by  explain 
ing  that  the  mail  for  Mexico  would  leave  in  a  few  days, 
and  that  he  was  most  solicitous  to  be  able  to  report  what 
impression  he  had  made  on  Lord  Palmerston,  for  whom,  he 
assured  her  ladyship,  the  parties  complained  against  stood 
in  very  wholesome  dread.  '  He  then  explained  the  whole 
affair  to  Lady  Palmerston ;  the  recital  occupied  some 
twenty  minutes,  and  interested  her  much,  when  Lord  Pal 
merston  entered,  and  found  himself  introduced  to  Mr.  Wat 
son  by  his  wife,  who,  in  rising  to  retire,  shook  Mr.  Watson 
cordially  by  the  hand  ;  then,  turning  to  Lord  Palmerston, 
said,  "  Oh,  it  is  a  very  cruel  case.  I  hope,  Mr.  Watson, 
you  will  succeed  in  making  Lord  Palmerston  view  it  as  I 
do."  At  this  Lord  Palmerston  laughed  heartily.  Mr.  Wat 
son  returned  to  my  house  to  dinner,  and,  I  may  add,  highly 
satisfied  with  the  result  of  his  interview  with  the  head  of 
the  Foreign  Office,  as  well  as  greatly  pleased  with  the 
circumstances  that  had  preceded  it. 

103.  Mr.  William  Watson,  of  Liverpool,  and  Sir  Astlcy 
Cooper. 

My  friend  Mr.  Watson  related  to  us,  after  dinner,  the 
following  anecdote : 


MR.  WATSON  AND   SIR  ASTLEY   COOPER,  261 

"  Twenty-five  years  ago  I  was  sent  home  from  Mexico, 
by  my  medical  man,  in  what  he  considered  a  precarious 
state  of  health.  On  my  arrival  at  Liverpool,  my  doctor 
there  told  me  I  must  go  to  London'  and  see  Sir  Astley 
Cooper  forthwith.  I  followed  orders,  and  met  a  large 
party  in  the  distinguished  surgeon's  anteroom.  At  last  I 
was  admitted,  and  explained  my  case  as  concisely  as  possi 
ble,  referring  to  my  long  residence  in  Mexico.  It  appeared 
to  me*  that  his  mind  at  once  began  to  run  infinitely  more 
upon  Mexico,  her  native  Spaniards,  Creoles,  and  Mulattoes, 
with  her  mines  of  gold,  silver,  copper,  etc.,  than  upon  any 
bodily  ailment  I  might  be  supposed  to  suffer  from.  As  to 
the  ten  or  a  dozen  unfortunate  patients  waiting — now 
probably  doubled — they  seemed  entirely  forgotten,  and 
probably  were  growing  impatient.  He  wrote  me  a  pre 
scription,  which  I  was  to  begin  that  day ;  it  was  a  Tuesday. 
4  Now,'  said  he,  '  as  it  is  most  important  that  I  should  have 
ocular  proof  as  to  the  state  of  your  appetite  after  taking 
my  medicine  for  three  days,  you  will  come  here  on  Friday, 
precisely  at  six  o'clock,  and  dine  with  me.  I  shall  then  be 
able  to  judge  how  you  are  ;  although  it  may  be  satisfactory 
for  you  to  hear  that  I  consider  there  is  very  little  the  mat 
ter  with  you.'  I  rose  to  make  my  bow  and  pay  the  fee  I 
had  been  instructed  to  give  by  my  Liverpool  doctor,  namely, 
two  guineas  for  a  first,  and,  of  necessity,  a  long  consulta 
tion  ;  but  before  there  was  time  for  this,  while  my  right 
hand  was  in  my  pocket  to  elicit  the  fee,  my  left  hand  had 
received  a  fee  from  the  world-known  surgeon.  I  was  puz 
zled.  '  Do  you  know,'  said  he,  '  I  have  been  searching 
everywhere  for  the  information  you  have  furnished  me  with 
in  regard  to  Mexico,  which  is  very  much  more  valuable 
than  my  professional  service  ?  But  as  I  never  wish  to  press 
money  upon  any  one,  I  shall  put  the  fee  I  intended  for  you 
again  in  my  pocket,  and  you  will  put  the  fee  you  intended 
for  me  again  in  your  pocket.'  Sir  Astley  kept  me  three 


262  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

weeks  in  London,  cured  me,  gave  me  a  dinner  three  days 
a  week,  but  never  would  take  a  fee." 


104.    Was  not  that  better  than  slaping  ? 

Very  nearly  thirty  years  ago,  in  the  end  of  May,  I  had 
a  charming  view  of  the  Russian  summer  fleet  cruising  in 
the  Baltic.  I  was  a  passenger  to  St.  Petersburg,  on  board 
the  steamer  "  Sirius,"  the  first  vessel  under  steam  that  had 
ever  crossed  the  Atlantic  to  America,  notwithstanding 
Dr.  Lardner's  opinion  that  for  a  steamer  to  cross  the  ocean 
was  an  impossibility.  She  was  commanded  by  a  very 
pleasant,  accomplished,  kind-hearted,  and  rollicking  Irish 
half-pay  lieutenant  in  the  navy,  of  the  name  of  Waters. 
At  three  o'clock  one  morning  he  opened  the  door  of  my 
cabin,  and  soon  aroused  me  from  a  profound  sleep,  by  ask 
ing  what  was  the  use  of  paple  lav  ing  home  to  travel,  if 
they  hadn't  their  eyes  open  at  three  o'clock  on  such  a 
beautiful  morning  as  that.  "  But  it  is  very  early,  captain," 
I  said.  "  Early,  do  you  say  ?  Why,  you  shouldn't  have 
lost  a  moment  of  the  whoule  night,  but  have  been  with  me 
on  the  poop.  Why,  sir,  I  saw  you  rading  the  smallest 
print  at  twelve  o'clock  last  night  on  deck,  and  you  may 
rade  still  smaller  print  in  this  part  of  the  world  at  three 
o'clock  in  the  morning,  but  that's  not  what  I  called  you  for. 
You  most  get  up  this  very  moument"  "  Oh,  be  merciful, 
captain  !  "  "  I'll  be  nothing  of  the  kind ;  here's  the  whoule 
liossian  sommer  flate  on  the  starboard  tack ;  bedad,  jost 
as  if  the  Emperor  Nicholas  knew  you  were  coming,  and 
sent  it  down  here  for  you  to  sae"  The  appeal  was  irre 
sistible.  I  was  immediately  on  deck,  being  richly  rewarded 
for  severing  myself  from  that  "best  friend  of  frail  hu 
manity,"  by  witnessing  a  magnificent  sight.  The  Baltic 
was  so  calm  a  lake  "  that  not  a  wrinkle  ruffled  her  smooth 
face."  There  was  just  breeze  enough  to  fill  the  sails  of 


WAS  NOT   THAT  BETTER  THAN  SLAPING?  263 

twenty  men-of-war.  Lieutenant  Waters  endeavored  to  ex 
plain  to  me  the  evolutions  of  the  squadron,  and,  seeing  that 
I  was  highly  interested,  said  to  me,  "  Now,  I'll  tell  you 
what  I  am  going  to  do  with  you,  but  you  nade  not  be 
talking  of  it  at  headquarters  when  you  get  back  to  Lon 
don,  and  it  won't  after  all  inter/are  a  marcel  with  our 
arrival  at  Cronstadt.  I'll  give  you  a  run  right  up  through 
the  flate,  and  then  back  down  through  the  *flate"  In  the 
mean  time  I  suggested  that  our  fellow-passengers  should 
be  apprised  of  what  was  going  on. 

I  observed,  as  we  passed  near  some  of  the  ships,  that 
ours  was  warmly  greeted,  and  I  asked  our  commander  to 
explain.  "  Why,  bless  you  sor,  Dominic  Creagh  Waters 
and  the  Sarius  are  as  well  known  at  Cronstadt  as  the  big 
gest  fort  there."  We  had  now  said  good-by  to  the  Rus 
sian  fleet,  and  were  assembled  at  breakfast,  when  our 
lieutenant-commander  entered,  and,  addressing  me,  said, 
"  Was  not  that  better  than  slaping  f  " 

Waters,  whose  attention  to  his  duties,  and  to  the  com 
fort  of  his  passengers,  was  unremitting,  made  our  week's 
voyage  from  the  English  to  the  Russian  capital  one  of 
rapturous  delight.  He  would  not  even  allow  me  to  be  sea 
sick;  he  had  always  something  to  stop  sock  Jiombog.  "  Now 
you  drink  that  while  I  tell  you  an  anecdote,  and  attend  to 
me  and  not  to  the  other  thing,  for  if  this  were  ounely  fol 
lowed,  there  would  be  a  dale  less  sae-sickness."  It  was 
quite  impossible  to  ask  him  a  single  question  without  his 
answer  securing  for  you  a  hearty  laugh.  I  recollect,  just 
as  we  were  starting  for  the  Thames,  opposite  the  Tower, 
I  said,  "  Captain  Waters,  when  shall  we  be  at  St.  Peters 
burg  ?  "  "  Well,  we  shall  be  at  Cronstadt  forst,  but  I  sup 
pose  you  are  not  particular  to  an  hour."  "  Not  in  the  least." 
"  I  promise  you  that  if  you  don't  ate  your  dinner  at  the  lat 
ter  place  next  Wednesday,  you  shall  drink  your  toy,  but  at 
same  time  it  is  ounely  right  to  tell  you  that  it's  a  dale 


264  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

farther  than  aither  Windsor  or  Richmond.  Now  look  at 
that  clock,  it's  on  the  strike  of  eight,  and  this  is  Wednesday 
morning,  and  if  the  ould  "  Sarious "  and  myself  dourft 
quarrel  by  the  road  on  Wednesday  avening  next,  she  and 
I  will  have  you  1,650  miles  away  from  Billingsgate  Market, 
and  mourover,  in  the  intervaning  pariod,  we  shall  give  you 
the  best  inside  of  a  day  in  Norway,  and  the  same  in  Den 
mark,  to  yourself;  say,  eight  hours  in  one,  and  twelve  in 
the  other.  You  have,  of  course,  heard  spake  of  a  Norway 
fiord."  "Oh,  yes."  "Well  then,  you  will  have  into  the 
bargain  a  sail  up  one  to  Christiansand,  and  after  you  have 
sane  it,  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  apply  a  magnifying-glass, 
and  you  will  be  able  to  make  it  as  big  as  any  fiord  in  Nor 
way.  Joking  apart,  in  going  up  and  coming  down  you  will 
be  able  tojodge  right  well  of  t\\efatures  of  the  contry,  and 
I  am  only  sorry  I  can't  give  you  time  for  a  little  salmon- 
fishing.  There  is  a  great  advantage  and  economy  of  time 
for  the  tourist  in  this  northern  latitude,"  said  our  Irish 
captain,  "  as  there's  daylight  during  the  night  at  this 
saison" 

The  morning  after  leaving  Christiansand,  at  a  very  early 
hour,  Lieutenant  Dominic  Creagh  Waters  shook  me  rather 
sharply  in  my  berth,  holding  in  his  other  hand  a  book,  and 
exclaiming,  "  Shake  aff  this  downy  slape"  "  What  is  it, 
captain ? "  "I  was  tould  in  London  to  be  mighty  civil  to 
you,  and  it  shall  be  your  owne  fault  if  I  am  not ;  now,  wake 
op,  for  I  have  brought  you  '  Hamlet,'  which  I  wish  you  once 
more  to  rade,  and  that  mighty  sharp,  for  in  an  hour  we  shall 
be  aff  Elsinore,  and  you  will  be  able,  when  you  get  back, 
to  show  your  laming,  and  talk  with  any  of  them  about 
Claudius,  King  of  Denmark ,  Hamlet,  Ophalia,  Rosencrantz, 
and  the  whoule  boiling  of  them.  Now  wake  up,  for,  upon 
my  soule,  you  can  stand  a  dale  of  slape,  more  than  any 
Scotchman  I  ever  met  with,  for,  generally  S2wking — you 
are  an  exception — they  are  wide  enoff  awake  when  it  is  to 


HOW   SOON  A  MAN  MAY  BECOME  A  LION.          265 

benefit  them. — Steward,  bring  a  wet  towel  here  and  rob 
Mr.  Boyd's  eyes  until  you  get  the  slope  out  of  them." 

Never  had  Shakespeare  before  sunk  in  my  estimation, 
but  at  finding  myself  suddenly  withdrawn  from  the  warm 
embrace  of  "  our  foster-nurse  of  Nature,"  a  feeling  of  deep 
regret  crossed  my  mind  that  our  illustrious  dramatist  had 
ever  written  "  Hamlet." 

At  six  o'clock  A.  M.  we  were  at  Copenhagen,  our  captain 
exclaiming,  "  Well  done,  mild  jSarius."  It  being  Sunday 
morning,  and  the  weather  most  charming,  the  passengers 
were  all  on  decJc  and  decked  in  their  best.  Our  incompar 
able  captain  thus  addressed  us :  "  Ladies  and  gintilmen,  I 
am  now  going  to  give  you  twelve  hours'  lave  of  absence  to 
do  your  chorch,  the  city  of  Copenhagen,  and  the  kingdom 
of  Denmark.  Remember  me  kindly  to  Thorwaldsen,  and 
don't  be  complimenting  Lord  Nelson  too  highly  to  the 
Danes." 

105.  How  soon  a  Man  may  become  a  Lion. 

I  had  visited  the  grave  of  our  great  novelist,  Fielding, 
in  the  English  cemetery  at  Lisbon,  had  steamed  up  the 
Guadalquiver  to  pay  my  devotion  at  the  shrine  of  Columbus 
in  the  Cathedral  of  Seville,  had*  inspected  her  Alcazar,  her 
"  Murillos,"  her  churches,  palaces,  hospitals,  manufactures 
of  silk  and  tobacco — in  fact,  had  examined,  as  minutely  as 
time  would  admit,  the  famed  capital  of  Andalusia.  I  had 
told  a  learned  friend  of  mine,  a  Q.  C.,  that  if  I  lived  another 
year,  I  hoped  to  spare  him  for  the  future  dunning  into  my 
ears  what  I  believed  to  be  his  only  Spanish  quotation, 
"  Quien  no  ha  visto  Sevilla,  no  ha  visto  maravilla." 

I  found  myself,  after  a  delicious  ride  on  horseback  from 
Gibraltar,  at  Malaga,  on  my  way  to  the  Vega  and  Alhambra 
of  Granada. 

I  had  a  most  valuable  pocket  companion,  not  then  always 
obtainable,  namely,  a  passport  from  Lord  Palmerston,  with 
12 


266  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

letters  of  recommendation  to  secure  me  protection — rather 
important  at  that  moment  in  Spain — and  attention  from  II. 
B.  Majesty's  Consuls,  among  others  to  the  Consul  at  Ma 
laga.  He  kindly  invited  me  to  place  myself  next  day  under 
his  escort,  to  inspect  the  lions  of  this  city  and  seaport  of 
Upper  Andalusia ;  but  I  little  anticipated  I  was  myself  to 
become  for  the  nonce  one  of  the  most  prominent  of  the  lion 
tribe. 

On  leaving  the  Consulate,  to  commence  our  walk,  I 
observed  a  collection  of  people  near  the  door,  which  kept 
increasing,  all  staring  at  me  in  a  manner  to  which,  as  an 
humble  subject  of  Queen  Victoria,  I  had  been  unaccus 
tomed  ;  yet,  there  was  a  benignity  of  expression  in  every 
countenance  that  made  the  microscopic  view  of  which  I 
found  myself  the  object,  the  reverse  of  disagreeable.  "  Ah, 
I  see  that,  to  become  a  great  man,  all  we  have  to  do  is 
to  be  a  traveller."  My  facetious  friend  the  Consul — as  I 
discovered — said  I  might  as  well  occasionally  raise  my  hat 
to  the  majesty  of  the  people — an  injunction  I  carefully  fol 
lowed  out.  Up  to  this  point  I  was  chiefly  a  source  of  at 
traction  to  the  hoi  polloi,  when  I  observed  little  knots  of 
well-dressed  people,  as  wre  passed  through  the  Alameda, 
viewing  me  with  an  expression  of  respect  and  deep  interest 
extremely  puzzling.  My  more  numerous  and  more  humble 
beholders,  on  one  or  two  occasions,  appeared  anxious  to 
cheer  me.  This,  probably,  the  presence  of  some  police  au 
thorities  alone  prevented,  but  with  the  others  there  was  a 
disposition  to  melancholy  imprinted  on  their  countenances, 
and  an  evident  desire  to  avoid  every  thing  like  obtrusive- 
ness  toward  one  whose  thoughts  they  concluded  at  that 
moment  to  be  steeped  in  painful  reflection.  I  said,  "  Con 
sul,  what  does  all  this  mean  ?  The  kingdom  or  province 
of  Granada  seems  to  have  very  few  tourists,  for  I  have 
never  met,  in  either  Austria  or  Russia,  where  travellers  are 
minutely  scanned,  any  curiosity,  or  whatever  you  choose  to 


HOW  SOON  A  MAN  MAY  BECOME  A  LION.          26*7 

designate  it,  in  the  least  to  be  compared  with  what  has  oc 
curred  during  the  last  two  hours."  This  elicited  a  smile 
from  the  Consul,  who  said  he  would  explain  all  to  me  when 
we  got  round  the  next  corner.  I  was  naturally  impatient  for 
the  elucidation.  It  appeared  that  my  passport  the  previous 
evening  had  been  extensively  read  and  keenly  inspected 
by  the  Spanish  authorities,  and  an  immediate  conclusion 
arrived  at  that  I  was  a  brother  of  poor  Robert  Boyd,  who, 
in  1831,  threw  himself  into  the  political  scale  with  General 
Torrigos,  in  opposition  to  Ferdinand,  and  whose  party  were 
betrayed,  forty-nine  in  number,  and  shot  on  Sunday  morn 
ing,  December  11,  1831. 

As  my  visit  to  Malaga  was  limited  to  another  day,  the 
Consul  thought  it  best  to  allow  matters  to  remain  as  they 
were.  I  said :  "  Consul,  I  have  no  objection,  as  I  was  quite 
unprepared  for  such  an  ovation  on  Spanish  soil,  thanks  to 
the  manes  of  my  unfortunate  namesake  ;  still,  I  should  pre 
fer  the  British  flag  over  me  while  in  life  to  its  being  placed 
as  it  was  by  you  over  the  murdered  body  of  Robert  Boyd  ; 
for  I  cannot  be  blind  to  the  fact  that  the  Carlist  and  Chris- 
tino  war  is  at  this  moment  raging  throughout  Spain."  The 
Consul  admitted  that  my  reasoning  was  sound,  and  prom 
ised  I  should  be  well  taken  care  of  while  within  his  consu 
lar  jurisdiction,  but  beyond  that  he  would  not  be  answer 
able. 

To  those  who  have  entered  life  since  that  bloody  morn 
ing  in  1831,  some  particulars  in  connection  with  the  mur 
der  of  Robert  Boyd  may  be  interesting.  I  may  prelude 
them  by  stating  that  the  victim  of  Moreno's  treachery  was 
a  member  of  an  ancient  family  in  the  north  of  Ireland ;  he 
had  one  brother  not  less  eminent  and  distinguished  as  a 
lawyer  and  king's  counsel  than  another  is,  who  still  sur 
vives,  as  a  divine.  A  younger  brother,  who,  had  he  been- 
now  alive,  would  have  had  his  flag  (Captain  McNeill  Boyd, 
R.  N.),  was  drowned  when  in  command  of  the  port  ship  in 


2G8  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

Kingstown  harbor,  in  a  gallant  attempt  to  save  human  life. 
Robert  Boyd,  it  is  said,  made  large  personal  sacrifices  (as 
much  as  £5,000)  in  the  fitting  out  and  equipment  of  the 
ill-fated  expedition  which  fixed  its  rendezvous  for  a  short 
time  on  neutral  ground  at  Gibraltar.  General  Moreno  was 
the  confidental  agent  of  King  Ferdinand,  and  was  looked 
upon  as  the  perpetrator  of  his  most  barbarous  cruelties.  It 
is  beyond  all  doubt  that  he  decoyed  Torrigos  and  Boyd, 
with  their  companions,  to  the  Spanish  shore,  by  forwarding 
to  them  letters  at  Gibraltar,  stating  that  the  district  of 
country  around  Malaga  was  ready  to  rise.  A  letter  of  Mo 
reno's  was  known  to  be  in  possession  of  a  respected  gentle 
man  in  London,  in  which  letter  he  went  so  far  as  to  point 
out  the  spot  for  landing,  and  the  precise  ground  which  his 
future  victims  should  occupy  on  reaching  the  shore.  The 
party  consisted  of  forty-nine  persons,  General  Torrigos,  Mr. 
Boyd,  and  several  ex-ministers  and  members  of  Cortes  and 
officers  of  rank.  Moreno  lost  not  a  moment  after  their  cap 
ture  in  dispatching  to  Madrid,  in  the  most  private  manner 
(in  order  to  prevent  the  interference  of  the  British  Consul) 
an  express  bribed  to  extraordinary  alacrity  by  the  promise 
of  a  great  reward.  Moreno,  who  resolved  on  the  destruc 
tion  of  Boyd,  said  nothing  of  any  foreigner  being  among 
the  prisoners,  though  he  had  in  his  hand  the  list  with  the 
name  and  designation  of  Mr.  Boyd.  The  dispatch  had  not 
been  a  moment  sent  off  from  the  farm-house  where  the 
party  were  surrounded  and  taken,  when  Moreno  had  the 
individuals  of  which  it  consisted  huddled  together  in  the 
refectory  of  an  old  convent,  loaded  with  chains,  and  tor 
tured.  No  trial  of  any  description  took  place.  On  the 
Saturday  evening  after  the  capture,  which  took  place  on  a 
Tuesday  in  December,  1831,  Moreno  received  a  warrant 
from  Ferdinand,  for  the  execution  of  the  whole  of  the  indi 
viduals  so  inhumanly  kidnapped  ;  and  next  morning  he  had 
them  all  shot  under  his  own  eye.  Food  was  refused  them 


MY  VISIT  TO  GRANADA.  269 

for  the  eighteen  hours  after  the  warrant  was  received  which 
preceded  the  execution.  They  were  brought  out  in  a  faint 
ing  state.  The  first  party,  consisting  of  twenty-five  per 
sons,  including  General  Torrigos  and  Mr.  Boyd  and  the 
most  eminent  persons,  were  forty-five  minutes  under  the 
hands  of  the  soldiers :  after  the  first  volley  was  fired,  the 
second  party,  consisting  of  twenty-four  persons,  were  fifty- 
nine  minutes  under  their  hands.  The  bodies  had  been  pre 
viously  stripped  by  convicts,  and  after  the  execution  with 
the  exception  of  Mr.  Boyd's  (which  was  claimed  by  the 
spirited  British  Consul,  who  placed  with  his  own  hands  the 
flag  of  England  over  it),  they  were  cast  into  the  scavenger's 
cart,  and  carried  to  the  Campo  Santo  and  thrown  into  a 
ditch,  within  two  hours  of  this  terrible  butchery.  Moreno 
gave  a  splendid  public  breakfast  to  the  hell-hounds  by  whom 
he  had  been  assisted.  For  this  savage  exploit,  Ferdinand 
promoted  Moreno  to  the  rank  of  Lieutenant-General  and 
made  him  Captain-General.  He  continued  a  favorite  at 
court  until  the  Queen  became  regent,  during  Ferdinand's 
life,  when  she,  greatly  to  her  honor,  immediately  after  as 
suming  the  reins  of  Government,  forbade  him  her  presence, 
and  also  prohibited  his  appearance  at  Madrid.  He  was 
placed  for  months  under  the  surveillance  of  the  police  at 
Seville,  but,  after  the  death  of  the  King,  he  made  his  es 
cape  on  horseback  and  joined  Don  Carlos  in  Portugal.  He 
afterward  came  to  a  merited  end,  having  been  shot  by  his 
own  men. 

Hobert  Boyd  met  his  fate  like  a  brave  man.  The  last 
words  that  passed  his  lips  were,  "  Life's  fitful  fever  will 
soon  be  o'er." 

106.   My  Visit  to  Granada. 

Having  no  desire  for  a  repetition  of  the  marked  atten 
tions  I  had  received  the  day  previous  from  the  Malaguenos, 
I  desired  my  Spanish  groom  to  have  the  horses  at  the  door 


270  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

at  three  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and  we  were  soon  ascend 
ing  the  winding  heights  above  the  flourishing  city  of 
Malaga,  whose  imports  of  broadcloths,  cotton,  hardware, 
and  cutlery,  were  only  counterbalanced  by  its  exports  of 
wine,  brandy,  fresh  grapes,  raisins,  figs,  almonds,  oranges, 
lemons,  oil,  etc.,  the  yearly  annual  value  of  which  when  I  was 
there,  thirty  years  ago,  was  about  £1,000,000  sterling. 

The  excitement  I  had  passed  through  having  partially 
subsided,  I  called  a  halt,  so  that  I  might  look  down  calmly 
from  the  elevated  position  we  had  then  reached  on  our  way 
to  Granada,  upon  the  famous  city  of  Malaga,  which  Ferdi 
nand  and  Isabella  had  wrested  from  the  Moors  after  an 
obstinate  siege  of  three  months.  I  never  enjoyed  a  more 
charming  view.  It  was  a  splendid  morning  in  the  begin 
ning  of  May.  I  was  gazing  upon  the  harbor  of  Malaga  in 
the  light  of  a  bay  of  the  Mediterranean,  spacious  enough  to 
accommodate  a  large  fleet ;  and  at  that  moment,  as  a  soli 
tary  traveller  in  a  country  where  a  civil  war  prevailed  d 
routrance,  I  observed  with  satisfaction,  floating  on  its  bosom, 
two  vessels-of-war  belonging  to  Her  Britannic  Majesty. 
My  faithful  Spaniard,  but  not  more  faithful  than  he  was 
intelligent,  called  my  attention,  aided  by  my  pocket  tele 
scope,  to  the  Moorish  buildings,  and  although  last,  not  least, 
to  the  grand  boast  of  Malaga,  its  famed  Moorish  castle, 
erected  six  centuries  before.  At  this  period  of  the  morn 
ing,  after  being  two  hours  in  the  saddle,  I  was,  as  usual,  a 
prey  to  that  "  universal  wolf,  appetite,"  and  had  to  mention 
this  to  my  guide.  We  pushed  on  for  a  cool  spring  and 
shade,  and  dismounting,  looked  first  after  our  horses  and 
adjusted  their  nose-bags,  as  we  carried  their  corn  as  well 
as  our  own  breakfasts.  The  latter  always  consisted  of  a 
loaf  of  excellent  bread,  hard-boiled  eggs,  a  piece  of  fat  bacon, 
and  a 'bottle  of  Malaga.  During  this  equestrian  tour  I 
thought  nothing  half  so  good  a  beverage  as  Malaga  and  the 
limpid  spring. 


MY  VISIT   TO   GRANADA.  271 

I  should  mention  that  while  at  Gibraltar  I  had  expected 
to  be  accompanied  by  a  party  of  friends,  but  the  political 
state  of  Spain  deterred  them,  and  in  lieu  of  their  compan 
ionship,  they  gave  me  a  farewell  dinner,  declaring  it  would 
be  the  last  I  ever  ate  under  the  British  flag,  and  that  I  must 
be  a  descendant  of  Don  Quixote  to  undertake  a  riding  tour 
in  a  country  heaving  with  internal  revolution.  Under  this 
threatening  aspect  of  affairs,  and  being  in  no  way  covetous 
of  the  honors  of  knight-errantry,  I  consulted  two  British 
merchants,  Mr.  Glover  and  Mr.  Leach.  The  former  had  re 
sided  on  "  the  Rock  "  for  thirty  years ;  and  as  I  was  then  a 
bachelor,  he  assured  me  if  I  placed  myself  under  the  entire 
guidance  of  a  Spaniard  whom  he  would  select,  and  who 
would  supply  the  horses,  a  man  whom  he  had  often  trusted 
with  confidential  dispatches,  I  should  be  quite  safe;  but 
that  I  must  enter  Spain  as  a  non-militant,  leave  my  pistols 
behind  me,  wear  no  rings  on  my  non-wedded  fingers,  nor 
any  tempting  brooch  in  my  neckcloth ;  and  that  I  must 
have  £5  in  silver  coin  in  the  saddle-bags,  a  portion  of  which 
I  was  from  time  to  time  to  dole  out  to  my  Spaniard  for 
daily  or  nightly  disbursement.  This  fund,  which  was  always 
to  be  kept  up  at  this  amount,  I  presumed,  Mr.  Glover  con 
sidered  would  be  the  highest  ransom  the  brigands  or  ban 
ditti  would  require  for  my  release.  How  very  different 
from  that  recently  demanded  from  our  unfortunate  country 
men  on  the  plains  of  Marathon !  I  was  told  by  Mr.  Glover 
to  look  upon  this  fund  of  specie  as  belonging  to  my  miscel 
laneous  or  secret-service  estimates,  as  in  case  of  capture  it 
was  my  best  corps  de  reserve  at  once  to  bring  up,  and  that 
I  should  very  soon  have  ocular  proof  of  its  efficacy.  A 
journey  of  a  few  miles,  after  entering  Spanish  territory, 
showed  me  how  excellent  Mr.  Glover's  advice  was,  and  gave 
me  a  clear  insight  as  to  the  manner  in  which  the  silver  was 
to  be  used.  An  armed  man  stopped  us,  when  my  courier 
told  him,  in  all  good  humor,  that  I  was  making  a  tour  for  my 


272  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

health,  etc.,  at  the  same  time  handing  him  a  coin  (about 
half  a  dollar)  to  drink  my  health  with.  He  thanked  me 
most  courteously,  and  throughout  a  journey  that  otherwise 
might  have  been  perilous,  owing  to  the  war,  I  escaped  all 
further  annoyance.  When  we  reached  the  road-side  venta 
at  mid-day,  where  we  had  to  rest  ourselves  and  horses  for 
some  hours  until  the  sun  had  partially  declined,  my  initia 
tory  step,  while  my  man  "  Friday  "  was  stabling  the  horses, 
was  to  enter  the  cocina  and  be  hale-fellow-well-met  with  the 
male  loungers,  following  out  implicitly  my  escort's  admoni 
tion,  and  in  these  cases  I  found  that  "  ignorance  was  bliss," 
as  I  knew  nothing  of  the  language. 

A  military  friend  once  told  me  that  he  discovered  the 
words  "  buono  "  and  "  non  e  buono  "  were  quite  enough  to 
travel  with  in  Turkey,  and  I  found  "  vino,  vino  "  sufficient 
in  Spain.  By  the  time  that  my  Spaniard  had  completed 
his  stable  arrangements  he  saw  I  had  formed  an  alliance 
with  "  Tom,  Dick,  and  Harry,"  and  that  we  had  finished  a 
couple  of  bottles  of  wine.  I  now  left  the  management  of 
my  new  acquaintances  entirely  in  his  hands,  and  if  he 
thought  more  wine  desirable  it  was  ordered ;  but  he  was 
prudent,  and  knowing  his  countrymen,  it  was  "the  cup 
which  not  inebriates."  I  especially  noted  the  fact  that, 
whenever  we  settled  for  the  night,  the  landlady  of  the 
posada  or-  albergo  took  great  care  of  me,  seeing  that,  when 
I  retired  to  my  sleeping-room,  I  had  every  thing  she  thought 
I  might  require  during  the  silent  watches,  and  then  locked 
me  up ;  but  previous  to  this  operation  my  attentive  Span 
iard  came  to  me  to  see  that  I  was  safe  and  comfortable.  I 
was  reconciled  to  the  imprisonment  on  beholding  the 
wretched  state  of  the  country  from  civil  war  and  its  ac 
companiments — suspicion,  revenge,  and  poverty :  at  the 
same  time  I  was  reminded  of  the  Spanish  proverb  that 
"the  opert  door  tempts  the  saint"  (" Puerta  abicrta  al 
santo  tienta  "),  so  I  consented  without  a  murmur  to  the 
key  being  turned. 


SPECTACLES  VERSUS  "PRESERVES.  273 

As  usual,  we  were  in  our  saddles  at  three  o'clock  next 
morning,  and  in  two  hours  more  at  breakfast,  winding  up 
our  repast  with  our  bottle  of  Malaga.  We  were  not  again 
to  draw  rein  until  we  entered  the  famed  Vega  of  Granada, 
thirty  leagues  in  circumference.  Our  ascent  was  gradual, 
but  for  some  time  I  had  been  feasting  my  eyes  on  the 
Sierra  Nevada ;  and,  although  the  perspiration  flowed  at 
every  pore,  I  had  in  perspective  a  region  where  the  "  cold 
snow  melts  not  with  the  sun's  hot  beams."  As  for  those 
of  my  countrymen  who  have  not  travelled  in  Spain,  may  I 
recommend  them  to  visit  the  ancient  city  built  by  the 
Saracens,  which  was  the  last  bulwark  of  the  Moslems,  and 
whose  walls  and  fortresses,  though  defended  by  100,000 
men  against  Christian  Spain,  fell  before  the  arms  of  Ferdi 
nand  and  Isabella,  in  1492  ?  To  those  who  travel  but  have 
seen  only  so  much  of  the  Alhambra  as  may  be  viewed  at 
the  Crystal  Palace,  I  advise  them  to  see  the  Alhambra  of 
Granada,  and  view  from  its  balcony  the  Vega  and  the 
Sierra  Nevada.  If  I  should  be  the  means  of  inducing  them 
to  do  this,  I  know  they  will  thank  me  on  their  return. 

107.  Spectacles  versus  "Preserves." 

My  English  friends  may  be  unaware  that  spectacles  are 
frequently  in  Scotland  called  "preserves."  As  a  boy  I 
witnessed  a  ludicrous  scene  between  an  aged  grand-aunt 
of  mine  and  an  English  visitor  at  my  father's.  The  old 
lady  was  born  in  1738,  twenty-two  years  before  George 
III.  ascended  the  throne,  when,  I  believe,  "  preserves "  was 
the  universal  term,  in  my  part  of  Scotland,  for  spectacles. 
My  aged  relative,  who  was  an  accomplished  woman,  never 
gave  them  any  other  designation.  "  Pray  give  me  my  pre 
serves."  "  Take  care,  boys,  that  you  do  not  break  my  pre 
serves."  Our  English  friend  was  chatting  with  the  inter 
esting  old  lady  (one  who  well  recollected  the  Pretender 


274  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

and  the  execution  on  Tower  Hill  of  those  Scotch  Peers 
who  had  supported  his  cause  in  1745),  when  she  asked 
him  if  he  used  "  preserves."  "  I  never  eat  them,  madam." 
"  Good  gracious  !  eat  your  preserves  ! "  "  Madam,  I  as 
sure  you  I  never  do."  The  old  lady,  who  was  on  the  verge 
of  ninety,  thought  she  was  talking  to  a  crazy  person,  and 
turning  to  her  nephew,  my  father,  said,  in  an  audible  whis 
per,  "  Is  he  right  in  his  head  ?  "  "  Oh,  quite  right."  With 
this  assurance  she  resumed  the  conversation  by  stating, 
"  My  good  sir,  I  never  thought  that  you  would  eat  your 
preserves."  He,  in  his  turn,  considered  the  old  lady  to  be 
in  her  dotage,  and  by  way,  as  he  thought,  of  keeping  up 
the  joke,  reminded  her  that  she  had  asked  him  if  he  ever 
used  preserves.  "  Yes,  I  did,"  at  the  same  time  becoming 
somewhat  animated  in  her  utterance ;  "  and  you  told  me 
you  never  ate  them,  as  if  I  thought  you  would  do  any  thing 
so  absurd."  My  father's  English  friend  now  discovered 
that  the  nonagenarian  lady  could  hold  her  own  in  debate, 
for  he  was  completely  puzzled ;  but  as  the  parties  present 
at  this  passage  of  arms  had  had  their  hearty  laugh,  my 
father,  fearing  further  results,  explained  the  synonyme  to 
his  friend,  wrho  instantly  confessed  his  own  stupidity  to  his 
aged  combatant,  and  the  entente  cordiale,  which  at  one 
time  appeared  endangered,  was  immediately  resumed. 

108.   The  Late  Governor  Wall. 

Some  forty-five  years  ago  I  had  accompanied  my  father, 
who  had  never  previously  crossed  the  Channel,  on  a  few 
weeks'  excursion  to  France :  we  found  ourselves,  on  an  ex 
tremely  wet  and  unusually  cold  evening  for  the  season  of 
the  year,  confined  to  the  table-d'hote  room  of  the  Hotel  du 
Nord,  Boulogne,  with  a  party  of  twenty  or  more  English 
tourists  unable  to  move  outside  the  threshold.  The  con 
sequence  was,  that  as  many  of  us  settled  round  or  as  near 


THE   LATE   GOVERNOR  WALL.  275 

the  large  stove  as  was  practicable ;  the  vin  ordinaire,  when 
finished,  being  replaced — owing  to  the  temperature  having 
suddenly  become  Norwegian — by  Cognac  and  Schiedam. 
In  that  circle  were  to  be  found  representatives  of  the  sen 
atorial,  clerical,  legal,  military,  naval,  and  mercantile  pro 
fessions.  My  father  was  a  "  grave  and  reverend  seignior," 
born  in  1770,  of  considerable  conversational  powers,  with  a 
retentive  memory,  and  an  experience  of  London  extending 
over  an  eventful  period  in  British  history.  He  recollected 
the  death  of  William  Pitt's  father,  the  famous  Earl  of 
Chatham,  in  1778.  He  had  seen  a  woman  brought  out  to 
be  burnt  in  front  of  Newgate  for  coining :  the  pile  having 
been  prepared  during  the  night,  was  ignited  about  half  an 
hour  before  the  wretched  creature  appeared,  and  after  going 
through  the  form  of  having  first  her  right  hand  and  then 
her  left  thrust  into  the  flames,  she  was  raised  to  the  scaf 
fold  and  hanged.  He  remembered  the  eclat  which  Prince 
William  Henry,  the  third  son  of  King  George  III.,  received 
as  the  first  prince  of  the  blood-royal  who  had  ever  landed 
in  North  America,  etc. 

The  conversation  flitted  from  Lord  Ellenborough  and 
the  Court  of  King's  Bench,  to  Lord  Stowell  and  the  Court 
of  Admiralty ;  from  Colonel  Picton  (Sir  Thomas,  who  fell 
at  Waterloo)  and  his  alleged  cruelty  in  the  West  Indies, 
to  Governor  Wall,  who,  while  Governor  of  Goree  in  Africa, 
had  ordered  Benjamin  Armstrong,  a  soldier,  for  some  act 
of  disobedience  which  he  considered  brought  him  within 
the  powers  of  the  Mutiny  Act,  to  be  tied  to  a  gun  to  re 
ceive  800  lashes,  under  which  he  die.d.  A  peculiar  feature 
attending  the  case  was,  that  the  punishment  on  the  unfor 
tunate  man  was  inflicted  on  June  17,  1782,  and  on  January 
28,  1802,  ex-Governor  Wall  was  executed  for  it  at  New 
gate.  The  circumstances  led  to  the  severest  comments  of 
the  press,  and  public  indignation  was  roused  to  such  a 
point  against  Wall,  that  on  reaching  the  British  Channel 


276  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

on  his  return  from  Gorce,  be  received  a  caution  from  bis 
friends  not  to  land,  and  escaped  to  Belgium,  taking  up  his 
abode  for  the  next  twenty  years  at  Ostend.  At  the  end 
of  this  period,  his  friends  and  family  connections  in  Eng 
land  deemed  bis  expatriation  no  longer  necessary.  He  bad 
in  the  mean  time  married  the  Honorable  Miss  Mackenzie,  a 
daughter  of  Lord  Seaforth,  by  whom  he  had  an  only  son. 
Mrs.  Wall's  sister  was  married  to  an  Engbsh  peer,  and  the 
relatives  in  England  unfortunately  believing  that  the  affair 
at  Goree,  which  had  happened  a  fifth  of  a  century  before, 
was  blotted  out  from  the  memories  of  the  last  generation, 
and  could  scarcely  interest  the  rising  one,  persuaded  the 
ex-Governor  to  put  his  foot  on  board  an  Ostend  packet, 
and  come  to  London,  where,  as  my  father  informed  us,  he 
had  not  arrived  many  hours  when  he  was  arrested  under 
the  Home  Secretary's  warrant,  brought  before  a  magis 
trate,  and  committed  to  Newgate. 

Several  of  the  party  had  never  heard  of  Governor  Wall, 
and  my  father  was  requested  to  enter  upon  the  subject  at 
greater  length  than  he  intended,  first  exposing  the  cruelty 
of  that  article  of  war  which  authorized  a  sentence  of  800 
lashes,  nay,  even  900,  so  that  it  was  kept  under  the  legal 
maximum  of  1,000.  My  father  contended  that  Governor 
Wall  had  not  exceeded  the  authority  of  the  Draconic  article 
of  war  under  which  be  acted.  He  at  the  same  time  ad 
mitted  that,  if  the  witnesses  gave  their  evidence  free  from 
prejudice  and  correctly,  after  an  interval  of  twenty  years, 
there  were  features  in  the  case  that  militated  against  the 
ex-Governor  in  the  pjublic  mind.  The  fate  awaiting  him 
was  greatly  accelerated  and  forced  on  the  authorities  by 
the  excitement  prevailing  among  the  masses  in  London 
and  through  the  great  towns  of  the  kingdom,  who  had 
been  imbibing  deeply  the  revolutionary  doctrines  of  the 
day,  dominant  in  France.  Governor  Wall's  blood  was 
called  for,  and  the  .appetite  of  the  populace  for  it  was  the 


THE   LATE   GOVERNOR  WALL.  277 

more  sharpened  from  the  circumstance  of  the  accused  hav 
ing  been  Governor  of  a  British  colony,  and  the  son-in-law 
of  one  noble  lord  and  the  brother-in-law  of  another.  The 
view  my  father  took,  as  an  impartial  observer,  and  cogni 
zant  of  the  facts  as  derived  at  the  time  from  the  most  re 
liable  sources,  was,  that  after  the  lapse  of  twenty  years, 
which  must  have  been  a  period  of  painful  remorse  and  re 
pentance  if  the  conscience  of  the  unhappy  accused  told  him 
he  had  erred  on  the  side  of  cruelty,  the  extreme  penalty  of 
the  law  should  not  have  been  carried  out.  There  was  one 
of  our  circle  who  took  up  my  father's  opinions  strongly, 
and  seemed  to  me  as  an  attentive  listener,  even  more 
familiar  with  the  details  than  my  relative ;  at  the  same 
time  evidently  on  terms  of  intimacy  with,  or  at  least  pos 
sessed  of  a  full  knowledge  of,  Wall's  family  connections. 
My  father  related  an  anecdote  which  this  gentleman  had 
never  heard.  It  would  appear  that  Mrs.  Wall  had  come  to 
London  from  Ostend,  accompanied  by  her  infant  and  its 
nurse,  to  see  her  family  and  spend  a  few  weeks  with  an 
aunt  of  my  mother's.  One  day,  the  old  lady  with  my 
mother,  then  a  girl,  took  Mrs.  Wall's  child  with  the  nurse 
out  in  the  carriage  for  a  drive,  during  which  she  paid  a 

visit  to  Lady  Anne  M y,  one  not  more  distinguished  by 

wealth  and  position  than  by  the  prominent  part  she  took  in 
all  that  was  religious  and  charitable.  On  entering  the 
drawing-room,  the  nurse  and  child  following  the  old  lady 
and  her  niece,  the  former  said,  "  Lady  Anne,  I  have 
brought  Mrs.  Wall's  sweet  little  boy  for  you  to  see." 
"  Take  it  away,"  exclaimed  this  Christian-minded  lady,  "  1 
will  never  look  upon  the  child  of  a  murderer."  "  Oh,  Lady 
Anne,"  said  my  aged  relative, "  not  look  upon  this  innocent 
child  !  What  has  this  sweet  infant  to  do  with  its  father's 
offence  ?  "  But  the  appeal  was  of  no  avail.  "  Take  it 
away,  nurse,  I  will  not  look  upon  the  child  of  a  murderer." 
My  father  went  on  to  say  that  he  never  could  tolerate  Lady 


278  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

Anne's  name  afterward.  The  time  had  arrived  for  bedroom 
candles,  the  party  dropping  off  one  by  one,  until  my  fa l her 
and  this  gentleman,  who  had  taken  so  much  interest  in  all 
that  had  been  said  about  Governor  Wall,  with  myself,  were 
left  a  trio.  The  instant  the  last  stranger  had  retired,  the 
gentleman  in  question  started  to  his  feet,  and  addressing 
my  father  under  the  strongest  feelings,  said,  "  Sir,  is  this 
young  gentleman  your  son  ?  "  "  He  is."  "  Then  let  me 
tell  you  that  I  am  the  child  of  the  murderer.  I  have  known 
who  you  were,  sir,  for  the  last  hour.  I  have  often  heard 
my  dear  mother  talk  of  you  and  your  amiable  wife,  who  I 
hope  is  still  alive."  "  She  is,"  my  father  said,  almost  un- 
nble  to  make  the  reply.  Then  followed  a  scene  which  Ed 
mund  Kean,  whom  I  have  beheld  in  the  deepest  tragedy, 
never  surpassed,  never  equalled,  for  what  I  witnessed  was 
reality.  Here  was  the  only  child  of  Governor  Wall,  a  cap 
tain  of  one  of  our  Highland  regiments,  bursting  into  a  pa 
roxysm  of  grief,  the  tears  rolling  down  his  face,  and  almost 
throwing  himself  into  my  father's  arms,  his  utterance  near 
ly  choked,  exclaiming,  "Ah,  my  revered  and  respected 
friend — if  such  you  will  permit  me  henceforth  to  consider 
you — your  fair  and  impartial  criticism  of  my  unfortunate 
father's  case  has  made  me  to-night  the  happiest  of  men." 

Captain  Wall  for  the  following  fifteen  years  was  the 
cherished  friend  of  the  members  of  my  family,  when  the 
tomb  closed  on  the  only  descendant  of  Governor  Wall. 

109.  Mr.  Samuel  Anderson  and  the  Siege  of 
Seringapatam. 

Mr.  Anderson,  whose  name  is  already  familiar  to  my 
readers  in  the  inside  of  a  London  omnibus,  was  a  prodigious 
favorite  with  the  late  Mr.  Charles  Mathews,  who  frequently 
on  his  professional  tours  would  sup  with  Mr.  Anderson, 
who  then  resided  in  Edinburgh. 


MR.   SAMUEL  ANDERSON   AND   THE   GENERAL.        270 

Sydney  Smith,  we  are  told,  declared  that  it  required  a 
surgical  operation  to  get  a  joke  into  a  Scotchman's  under 
standing.  If  it  is  so,  I  once  witnessed  a  practical  illustra 
tion  of  the  fact.  At  a  dinner-party  in  London,  where  Mr. 
Anderson  was  a  guest,  there  was  a  general  officer  present 
(a  Scotchman),  and  in  some  allusion  to  the  siege  of  Serin- 
gapatam  (1799)  it  transpired  that  he  was  there  as  a  lieu 
tenant  in  an  infantry  regiment.  Anderson  made  capital  of 
that  fact  at  once,  for  my  friend,  as  master  of  impromptu, 
and  always  anxious  to  oblige,  knew  he  would  be  called 
upon.  After  the  usual  verse  to  the  host  and  hostess  and 
one  or  two  other  guests,  he  proceeded  to  open  a  most  com 
plimentary  battery  on  the  gallant  General,  attributing  to 
him  the  whole  success  of  the  siege,  and  ultimate  fall  and 
capture  of  Seringapatam.  When  he  had  finished,  up  rose 
the  General  to  thank  Mr.  Anderson  for  his  verses  and  the 
company  for  their  cheers,  as  well  as  to  explain  that  he  was 
the  last  man  in  the  British  army  to  claim  a  merit  to  which 
he  was  not  justly  entitled ;  he  therefore  wished  it  to  be 
clearly  understood  that  Mr.  Anderson  was  entirely  in  error 
in  attributing  the  successful  termination  of  the  assault  to 
himself;  that  he  was  simply  a  lieutenant  of  His  Majesty's 
—  regiment  of  foot ;  that  it  was  only  fair  and  proper  for 
him  to  explain  that  the  officers  entitled  to  the  praise  which 
Mr.  Anderson  had  lavished  on  him  were  General  Lord  Har 
ris,  Major-General  Sir  David  Baird,  Lieutenant-Colonel 
James  Dunlop  (afterward  General  Dunlop,  and  many  years 
M.  P.  for  the  Stewartry  of  Kirkcudbright),  Lieutenant-Colo 
nel  the  Hon.  Arthur  Wellesley,  and  Lieutenant-Colonel 
(afterward  General  Sir  John)  Sherbrook.  "  Ah,  then,"  said 
the  gifted  maker  of  extemporaneous  song,  "  I  must,  I  find, 
add  a  few  additional  verses."  He  then  complimented  the 
general  on  his  extreme  modesty,  told  us  that  all  the  cir 
cumstances  connected  with  the  celebrated  siege  now  flashed 
before  him,  that  he  could  assure  us  he  had  not  exaggerated 


280  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

the  general's  services  in  that  brilliant  action  in  the  least, 
and  that  he  could  therefore  allow  no  diminution  to  be  made 
from  the  estimate  he  had  formed  ancl  submitted  to  them  of 
those  services,  etc.  The  poor  General  was  again  on  his 
legs  to  offer  further  explanations,  but  they  were  of  no 
avail,  as  he  stood  that  evening  proclaimed  as  the  Hero  of 
Seringapatam. 

110.   The  Scotch  Laird  and  the  French  Language. 

The  Laird  of ,  a  few  years  after  the  battle  of  Water 
loo,  took  his  family  to  France  for  economy  and  education. 
A  former  neighbor  of  his  in  Scotland,  who  had  never  been 
on  the  Continent,  resolved  about  1832  to  visit  his  friend, 
who  had  taken  up  his  abode  at  Tours  or  Dijon.  The  day 
after  his  arrival,  he  and  his  host  (as  cicerone)  were  strolling 
through  the  streets  of  the  old  town,  the  Laird  explaining 
every  thing  minutely  to  the  new-comer.  At  last  they  came 
to  something  which  even  puzzled  the  Laird,  and  greatly  in 
terested  his  visitor,  who  said,  "Do  ask  this  person  to  explain 
and  tell  us  all  about  it."  "  Na,  na,  naething  o'  the  kind," 
said  the  Laird,  "  for  I  maun  (must)  tell  you  that  I  hate  the 
people  and  I  hate  their  language,  and  hae  I  not  hauden 
weel  off  (have  I  not  managed  well)  not  to  hae  pickt  ony  o* 
it  up  in  fourteen  years  ? "  "  Well,"  said  his  visitor,  "  as 
you  have  considered  France  a  country  good  enough  to  live 
in  for  the  last  fourteen  years,  I  should  not  have  turned  my 
back  so  much  upon  the  language  as  you  appear  so  success 
fully  to  have  done."  The  Laird  made  no  reply. 

111.   Taking  Time  by  the  Forelock. 

My  grandmother  once  awoke  my  grandfather  in  the 
middle  of  the  night,  and  told  him  that  she  much  feared 
their  son  Willie,  who  slept  next  room  to  them,  had  become 
deranged,  as  she  had  been  listening  to  him  for  some  time 


EMIGRATION  MEETING.  281 

speaking-  loudly  and  rapidly  to  himself.  Her  husband 
listened,  and  came  to  the  same  conclusion ;  and  they  forth 
with  hurried  into  their  boy's  bedroom  to  know  what  was 
the  matter.  Willie's  explanation  was,  that  as  they  were 
going  to  the  seaside  next  day,  he  wished  to  save  time,  and 
was  saying  his  prayers  over  and  over  to  last  him  during  the 
holidays. 

This  reminds  me  of  our  cook  in  Scotland,  whom  I  found 
one  night  after  twelve  o'clock  sipping  her  tea.  "Hallo, 
cook  !  how  late  you  are  in  drinking  your  tea."  "  Na,  na, 
sir,  I  am  no  at  my  tea,  I  am  at  my  breakfast,  as  I  thocht  it 
best  to  tak  mine  afore  ganging  to  bed,  as  you  and  the  ither 
young  gentlemen  hae  ordered  yours  to  be  ready  at  five,  that 
ye  mae  get  aff  in  guid  time  to  the  muirs" 

112.  A  Singular  and  Depressing  Incident  at  the  Close  of 
a  Public  Meeting. 

The  executive  members  of  the  Society  for  the  Promotion 
of  Australian  Emigration  and  Colonization  had  been  invited 
by  the  authorities  at  Brighton  to  hold  a  public  meeting  in 
the  Town  Hall,  where  we  met  a  party  of  Chartists,  who 
had  assembled  in  considerable  force  to  put  the  speakers 
down,  and  it  was  found  no  easy  task  to  stem  the  torrent  of 
fierce  abuse  by  which  we  were  assailed.  After  much  time 
had  been  wasted,  we  at  last  succeeded  in  convincing  the 
majority  of  the  meeting,  not  only  of  the  purity  of  our  mo 
tives,  but  of  the  wisdom  of  our  plans.  We  had  to  disabuse 
the  minds  of  a  certain  section  of  our  auditory  of  errors  and 
prejudices,  which  might  have  done  much  to  counteract  the 
benevolent  designs  of  the  society.  Our  leading  objects 
were — :first,  to  afford  the  latest,  fullest,  and  most  authentic 
information  regarding  the  Australian  colonies ;  and  next, 
by  enlisting  the  rich  in  the  cause,  to  help  those  who  had 
not  the  entire  means  themselves,  but  were  otherwise  eligible, 


282  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

to  reach  our  possessions  in  the  southern  hemisphere,  whose 
prosperity  was  advancing  at  a  rate  to  which  history  affords 
no  parallel,  and  was  limited  only  by  the  scanty  supply  of 
labor  from  the  mother  country. 

Our  meeting  took  place  at  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening, 
so  that  all  classes  might  have  the  opportunity  of  attending. 
Some  foolish  exclamations,  uttered  in  the  body  of  the  hall 
by  persons  who  called  themselves  Chartists,  demanded  to 
be  promptly  corrected,  as  their  example,  it  was  feared, 
might  lead  to  similar  obstruction  in  the  towns  to  which  the 
society  proposed  to  proceed  in  their  tour  of  enlightenment 
and  of  assistance,  in  a  matter  of  great  interest  to  all  classes, 
but  vital  to  the  laboring-classes  of  the  Kingdom.  The  re 
marks  I  had  intended  to  make  in  regard  to  Australia  had  to 
be  postponed  that  I  might  assist  in  quelling  the  uproar  that 
had  so  unexpectedly  broken  out.  One  of  the  Chartist 
speakers  was  a  man  of  unquestionable  talent  and  of  great 
fluency,  with  a  command  of  varied  language  seldom  to  be 
met  with.  He  was  a  tall,  intelligent-looking  person,  wear 
ing  a  shabby-genteel  blue  military  frock-coat,  buttoned  up 
to  the  throat ;  and  apparently  he  was  about  thirty-six  or 
thirty-eight  years  of  age.  Having  made  his  own  speech,  he 
seemed  determined  that  its  effect  should  not  be  neutralized  by 
any  reply  I  could  offer,  for  ever  and  anon  he  kept  crying  out, 
"  Stay  at  home ;  there  is  plenty  for  all  of  us  here."  "  That" 
I  exclaimed,  in  as  loud  a  pitch  of  voice  as  I  could  command, 
"  I  very  much  doubt."  My  opponent,  who  was  close  in 
front  of  the  platform,  began,  I  suspect,  to  discover,  that  I, 
like  himself,  had  a  pretty  loud  and  powerful  voice,  and 
although  I  did  not  presume,  like  a  Stentor,  to  be  able  t.o 
silence  the  voices  of  fifty  men  together,  I  now  decided  to 
enter  the  lists  with  my  troublesome  adversary,  and  ad 
dressed  him  as  follows:  "I  beg  to  assure  my  opponent 
that  our  interest  alone,  if  no  loftier  feeling  is  conceded  to 
us,  is  to  see  the  emigrant  comfortably  embarked,  well  fed 


EMIGRATION  MEETING.  -  283 

during  the  voyage,  safely  landed,  and  happily  settled  in 
that  great  possession  of  the  British  Crown.  Really  one 
would  suppose,  from  what  has  been  said  in  opposition,  that 
no  working-man  in  the  United  Kingdom  finds  it  difficult 
on  the  Saturday  night  to  provide  what  every  one  engaged 
in  pastoral  and  agricultural  labor  in  Australia  receives  as 
his  weekly  ration,  namely,  ten  pounds  of  butcher's  meat, 
ten  pounds  of  flour,  two  pounds  of  sugar,  and  a  quarter  of 
a  pound  of  tea.  If  this  occasions  you  no  difficulty — if  you 
can  lay  your  heads  on  your  pillows  and  say  to  yourselves, 
'  Well,  if  death  overtakes  me,  I  leave  my  wife  and  children, 
if  not  in  affluence,  at  least  independent,  with  no  poorhouse 
staring  them  in  the  face ; '  if  this  be  your  position,  working- 
men  of  Brighton,  I  shall  not  ask  you  to  emigrate  against 
your  inclination ;  but  if  your  wives  and  children  are  not 
guarded  against  such  a  contingency,  I  consider  that  a  heavy 
responsibility  attaches  to  any  man  in  this  assembly  who 
dissuades  you  from  listening  to  the  advice  we  tender  you." 
My  turbulent  opponent  with  his  colleagues  had  early  in 
the  evening  enlisted  a  party  of  sailors  to  aid  him  in  his  at 
tempt  to  interrupt  our  proceedings ;  and  I  thought  that,  if 
I  could  by  some  means  conciliate  them,  as  the  Chartist 
orator  had  considerately  allowed  me  to  deliver  the  forego 
ing  lengthy  sentence  without  a  single  interruption,  we 
might  still  hope  to  get  into  smooth  water.  Looking  toward 
the  nautical  section  of  the  crowded  assembly,  as  I  was  "  in 
possession  of  the  house  " — or  rather  wished  to  be — I  said : 
"  I  can  tell  you  the  loaves  and  fishes 'are  in  Australia,  and 
I  wish  you  to  have  your  share  of  them.1  Yes,  my  friends, 
and  when  I  say  fishes,  let  me  tell  those  honest-hearted  and 
hardy-looking  blue-jackets  I  see  before  me,  that  the  fisheries 

1  Whale-fishing  was  at  that  time  a  very  profitable  source  of  commerce 
on  the  Australian  coasts,  and  highly  popular  with  sailors,  who  were  paid 
by  certain  lays  or  shares  on  the  profits  of  the  voyage,  in  addition  to 
monthly  wages. 


284  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

of  Australia  present  a  splendid  field  for  the  enterprise  of 
the  men  of  the  Sussex  coast ;  I  can  tell  you  that  there  is 
an  inexhaustible  field  for  your  industry  on  the  coasts  <>t' 
Australia."  Jack  had  now  become  an  attentive  list  oner, 
and  the  Chartist  element  had  also  subsided,  but  I  thought 
I  might  farther  ingratiate  myself  by  still  spinning  a  short 
yarn  with  Jack,  so  on  I  went.  "  Moreover,  I  tell  you,  that 
the  shipowner,  in  consequence  of  the  want  of  hands,  is  en 
tirely  at  the  mercy  of  those  he  has  there,  who  are  so  petted 
and  spoiled  by  high  wages  and  the  luxuries  of  that  brilliant 
climate,  that  they  have  almost  lost  the  character  of  British 
tars."  The  only  interruption  I  now  received  from  the 
sailors,  who  had  given  up  their  allegiance  to  the  Chartist 
leader,  was  a  round  of  cheers.  I  then  proceeded  :  "  Now, 
here  is  an  instance  of  my  meaning.  A  relation  of  mine  has 
a  large  steamer  running  from  Sydney  to  Adelaide  in  South 
Australia,  calling  at  the  intermediate  ports.  On  a  late  oc 
casion,  mentioned  to  me  in  my  last  letters,  the  steam  was 
up,  the  bell  ringing  for  the  start,  the  passengers  assembled 
on  deck  (we  may  fancy  ourselves  at  the  end  of  the  chain- 
pier  witnessing  the  occurrence),  when  my  brother  went  on 
board,  and  found  his  captain,  mate,  and  engineer  in  dismay. 
The  captain  informed  him  that  the  crew  had  gone  to  drink 
at  a  public-house  close  by,  saying  he  must  wait  their  pleas 
ure.  My  brother  had  a  party  of  South-Sea  Islanders  work 
ing  for  him  at  his  wharf — for  such  is  the  scarcity  of  sailors 
that  a  large  portion  of  every  crew  consists  of  New-Zea- 
landers,  and  every  day  the  South-Sea  Islander  is  becoming 
a  more  and  more  valuable  addition  to  our  mercantile  marine 
in  that  part  of  the  world.  The  captain  was  asked  if  with 
twenty  picked  men  of  those  at  the  wharf  the  steamer  could 
put  to  sea.  He  said  *  Yes,'  and  in  the  course  of  a  few 
minutes  the  owner  was  seen  at  the  head  of  a  band  of  fine 
athletic  South-Sea  Islanders,  hurrying  to  the  vessel.  This 
was  too  personal  for  Jack  "  (the  Brighton  blue-jackets  en- 


EMIGRATION   MEETING.  285 

joyed  the  story  very  much),  "as  the  movement  had  been 
observed  from  the  public-house,  and  the  party  there  started 
off  at  last,  only  just  beating  their  wild  competitors,  and  the 
steamer  went  out  of  harbor  with  her  proper  but  over-in 
dulged  crew.  This,  my  friends,  is  no  exaggerated  picture 
of  the  want  of  labor." 

My  speeeh,  which  was  entirely  different  to  the  one  I  had 
intended  to  make,  and  had  commenced  so  inauspiciously, 
was  well  received,  and  the  resolution  I  had  to  propose  was 
passed  by  acclamation. 

The  meeting  did  not  break  up  until  midnight,  and  while 
pushing  through  the  crowd  with  the  mayor  and  other  mem 
bers  of  the  Brighton  Corporation  and  of  our  own  deputa 
tion,  I  found  myself  jostling  against  the  man  who  had 
opposed  me  so  vehemently  in  the  commencement  of  my 
speech.  I  said,  "  Hallo  !  how  is  it  that  a  man  of  your 
ability  should  have  such  mistaken  views  on  the  subject  of 
emigration  and  colonization  ?  "  He  pressed  my  hand,  and, 
in  a  subdued  tone,  or  rather  whisper,  said,  "  Mr.  Boyd,  I 
am  starving."  I  was  so  much  taken  by  surprise  as  to  be 
unable  to  make  a  reply  for  the  moment,  so  many  contend 
ing  thoughts  flashed  through  my  mind.  "  \Vliat  do  you 
mean?"  He  shook  his  head,  and  again  in  a  whisper  de 
clared  it  was  too  true,  he  was  starving.  "  Let  me  speak 
to  you,"  I  said,  "  when  we  get  outside  the  building."  Ac 
cordingly  I  walked  with  him  to  the  back  of  the  Town-Hall, 
while  my  party  went  to  our  hotel,  when  he  burst  into  a 
flood  of  tears  and  repeated  not  only  that  he  himself  was 
starving,  but  all  at  home  were — a  wife,  two  children,  and 
an  aged  mother.  His  little  history  was,  that  he  was  a 
North  of  Ireland  man,  had  received  a  good  education,  and 
had  served  his  apprenticeship  as  a  tailor ;  had  then  enlisted 
in  one  of  our  Hussar  regiments,  in  which  he  became  one 
of  the  tailors,  and  the  regiment  having  been  stationed  at 
Brighton,  where  he  had  several  friends,  he  was  recom- 


286  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

mended,  when  he  got  his  discharge,  to  settle  there  as  a 
journeyman  ;  but,  instead  of  finding  full  employment,  he 
was  sometimes  five  days  in  the  week  without  any  work. 
Having  given  him  some  temporary  relief  for  his  poor  fam 
ily  and  himself,  I  then  asked  him  if  he  would  like  to  emi 
grate  to  Australia ;  his  reply  was,  that  he  should  like 
nothing  better.  I  therefore  gave  him  my  card  for  our  sec 
retary,  whom  he  called  upon  next  day,  and  for  months  I 
supposed  he  had  sailed  for  the  colony;  but  it  appeared 
that,  when  all  the  poor  man's  arrangements  were  complete, 
a  difficulty  arose,  of  which  I  as  a  member  of  committee  was 
not  informed,  about  his  aged  mother  (from  whom  he  would 
not  separate)  accompanying  the  family;  in  consequence 
his  plan  to  emigrate  through  the  assistance  of  our  Colonial 
fund  was  upset ;  whereas,  had  I  been  aware  of  the  obstacle, 
a  few  pounds  would  have  removed  it.  However,  his  noisy 
eloquence  at  our  meeting  made  him  somewhat  prominent 
at  Brighton,  and  secured  him,  as  I  was  happy  to  learn, 
what  he  so  much  needed,  full  and  continuous  employment. 
This  was  fortunate,  for,  in  the  state  of  mind  of  that  man 
with  which  I  was  made  familiar  inside,  and  subsequently 
outside,  the  Town-Hall  of  Brighton,  he  was  then  only  fit 
"  for  treasons,  stratagems,  and  spoils." 

113.   The  Three  Clerks  at  Cambridge. 

Among  many  excellent  anecdotes  I  have  heard  my 
friend  the  Rev.  Arthur  Hubbard  relate,  was  the  following : 
He  was  on  a  visit  to  his  father,  a  rector,  near  Lewes,  in 
Sussex,  and  met  at  dinner  Dr.  Carr,  the  Bishop  of  Cinches- 
ter,  to  whom  he  was  introduced  for  the  first  time.  In  the 
course  of  the  evening  the  bishop  asked  him  whether  he  had 
been  at  Oxford  or  at  Cambridge.  "  The  latter,  my  lord.'" 
"  Then  you  can  enable  me  to  answer  a  question  I  was  re 
cently  asked  by  His  Majesty  (George  IV.),  with  whom  I 


DR.   BLOMFIELD,   BISHOP  OF  CHESTER.  287 

am  to  have  the  honor  of  dining  to-morrow  at  the  Pavilion. 
Were  there  three  professors  at  Cambridge  at  the  same 
time  of  the  name  of  Clerk  ? "  "  There  were,  my  lord ; 
Stone  Clerk,  Professor  of  Mineralogy;  Tone  Clerk,  Pro 
fessor  of  Music ;  and  Bone  Clerk,  Professor  of  Anat 
omy." 

The  bishop  thanked  Mr.  Hubbard,  and  said  he  had 
enabled  him  to  give  His  Majesty  the  information  he  re 
quired. 

Mr.  Hubbard  on  that  occasion  related  an  anecdote 
which  the  bishop  had  not  before  heard,  and  probably  it 
was  repeated  the  following  day  at  the  royal  table  after  the 
three  Clerks,  Stone,  Tone,  and  Bone,  had  been  served  up. 
A  clergyman  had  commenced  an  able  discourse,  when  one 
of  the  hearers,  an  accomplished  but  eccentric  man,  ex 
claimed,  "  That's  Tillotson  !  "  This  was  allowed  to  pass, 
but  very  soon  another  exclamation  followed:  "That's 
Paley ! "  The  preacher  then  addressed  the  disturber  :  "  I 
tell  you,  sir,  if  there  is  to  be  a  repetition  of  such  conduct, 
I  shall  call  on  the  churchwarden  to  have  you  removed  from 
the  church."  "  That's  your  own  ! "  was  the  ready  reply. 

114.  Dr.  Blomfield,  Bishop  of  Chester,  afterward  Bishop 
of  London. 

The  Rev.  Mr.  Hubbard  was  dining  with  his  friend  and 
neighbor,  Mr.  Conyers,  at  Copthall  in  Essex.  One  of  the 
guests  was  Lord  Raglan,  who  was  on  the  eve  of  his  depart 
ure  to  take  command  of  the  British  Army  destined  for 
the  Crimea. 

The  conversation  took  a  clerical  turn,  in  the  course  of 
which  Mr.  Hubbard  repeated  the  lines  epitomizing  part  of 
a  charge  addressed,  as  it  was  alleged,  by  Dr.  Blomfield  to 
his  clergy  in  the  course  of  his  primary  visitation  of  the 
Diocese  of  Chester. 


283  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY    YEARS. 

Hunt  not,  dance  not, 

Fiddle  not,  flute  not, 

Avoid  every  evening  party, 

Especially  never  play  at  ecarte — 

Interfere  not  with  the  Whigs, 

But  stay  at  home  and  mind  your  pigs, 

But  it  is  my  particular  desire 

That,  once  in  the  week  at  least,  you  dine  with  the  Squire. 

Lord  Raglan  was  so  much  amused  with  the  lines  that,  on 
reaching  the  drawing-room,  he  requested  Mr.  Hubbard  to 
write  them  out  for  him,  which  he  did,  little  supposing  at 
the  moment  that  the  noble  lord,  who  had  already  run  so 
eventful  a  soldier's  career  in  the  Peninsula,  closing  it,  as 
might  reasonably  have  been  expected,  on  the  plains  of 
Waterloo  in  1815,  was  about  to  reopen  it  in  1854,  to  fight 
the  battles  of  the  Alma  and  Inkermann,  but  never  again  to 
meet  the  festive  circle  at  Copthall. 

Lord  Raglan's  calm  death  in  camp,  after  braving  the 
battle-fields  of  Fuentes  d'Onore,  Badajoz,  Salamanca,  Vit- 
toria,  Pyrenees,  Nivelle,  Orthes,  Toulouse,  and  Waterloo 
(where  he  lost  an  arm),  Alma  and  Inkermann,  reminds  me 
of  the  epitaph  I  have  read  in  Westminster  Abbey  to  a 
General  of  a  former  century — Sir  Francis  Vere  :  * 

When  Vere  sought  death,  armed  with  his  sword  and  shield, 
Death  was  afraid  to  meet  him  in  the  field ; 
But  when  his  weapons  he  had  laid  aside, 
Death,  like  a  coward,  struck  him,  and  he  die  1 

115.  The  Post- Office. 

I  have  an  agreeable  recollection  of  a  very  pleasant 
dinner  I  had  at  the  General  Post-office  with  the  late  Sir 
Henry  Freeling.  I  was  the  escort  to  a  party  of  friends 
from  the  country,  to  witness,  on  the  royal  birthday,  an 

1  A  distinguished  General  of  Queen  Eli/abeth,  born  in  155-1,  died  in 
1608,  and  buried  in  Westminster  Abbey. 


THE   POST-OFFICE.  289 

interesting  sight — which  railways  have  superseded — the 
departure,  at  eight  o'clock,  of  nineteen  mail-coaches  out  of 
the  twenty-five  which  then  left  London  every  evening. 
The  guards  and  coachmen  on  such  occasions  were  in  their 
new  liveries,  and  the  horses  also  frequently  had  new  har 
ness.  Sir  Henry,  from  his  long  intercourse  with  society  in 
every  phase,  from  royal  princes  down  to  letter-carriers, 
was  full  of  anecdotes,  and  no  one  could  relate  them  better. 
Among  others,  he  mentioned  the  extraordinary  change  for 
the  better  that  had  suddenly  taken  place  in  the  habits  of 
the  mail-guard  and  coachman ;  us,  when  he  first  entered 
the  department,  under  his  father,  Sir  Francis,  one  of  his 
duties  in  the  morning  was  to  inspect  all  the  way-bills,  con 
taining  the  postmaster's  and  guard's  logs  of  the  journeys 
of  each  mail-coach  throughout  the  kingdom,  and  it  was 
quite  frightful  in  those  days  to  look  through  the  recital  of 
accidents.  A  day  without  some  such  misfortune  was  of 
rare  and  exceptional  occurrence.  Sir  Henry  said  that  four 
of  the  accidents  out  of  six  were  occasioned  through  the 
drunkenness  of  the  coachman,  and  too  frequently  the  guard 
was  a  participator  in  the  offence  ;  and  at  the  root  of  the  evil 
were  the  passengers  themselves.  "  Well,  coachman,  it  is  a 
cold  night,  what  will  you  have  to  drink  ?  "  But  for  this 
mistaken  kindness,  the  coachman  and  the  guard  would  have 
been,  comparatively  speaking,  sober  men,  as  they  could  not 
afford  to  be  otherwise.  A  fresh  light  unexpectedly  broke 
upon  the  fraternity,  and  an  important  diminution  of  the 
drunkenness  existing  ensued.  Two  mail-guards  had  been 
appointed  on  the  London  journey  who  were  men  of  steady 
and  sober  habits,  whose  social  position  was  somewhat  su 
perior  to  their  colleagues,  and  who  never  went  beyond  a 
glass  of  sherry. 

"  Vy,  Bill,  can't  ve  drink  sherry  wine  ven  ve  hare  haxed, 
has  veil  has  the  two  nobs  ?  "  "  But,  Bob,  you  must  recollect, 
they  von't  drink  hale  neither ;  that's  a  stickler,  ain't  hit  ?  " 
13 


290  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

Such  was  a  conversation  heard  in  the  Post-Office  yard 
one  evening  before  the  mails  started,  and  reported  to  Sir 
Henry,  who,  although  amused,  was  deeply  interested  as  to 
the  result.  He  assured  me  no  revolution  was  so  instantly 
carried  out  among  mail-guards  and  coachmen  through 
out  England,  and  at  the  period  of  this  conversation  taking 
place  between  him  and  myself,  he  declared  he  would  almost 
make  a  bet  that  if  I,  travelling  by  one  of  the  mails  from 
the  London  Post-Office  yard,  offered  a  guard  or  coachman 
a  glass  of  gin  he  would  refuse  it,  and  if  I  put  the  question 
in  another  shape,  the  answer  would  be,  "  Thank  you,  sir,  a 
glass  hof  sherry  vine,  or  a  glass  hof  port,  hif  hit  his  hall 
the  same."  The  emphasis,  as  Sir  Henry  added,  "  halvays 
hon  vine."  The  blessed  results  of  the  change  were  that 
our  sovereign's  loyal  subjects  henceforth  travelled,  compar 
atively  speaking,  in  safety  by  mail-coach,  casualties  dimin 
ishing  in  number  as  sobriety  kept  increasing. 

After  assuring  him  that  I  had  listened  with  deep  atten 
tion  to  the  valuable  statistical  information  he  had  given 
me,  I  had  to  request  him  to  enlighten  me  on  another  point, 
as  he  appeared  to  me  to  inflict  on  delinquent  mail-guards, 
in  some  cases,  an  extraordinary  class  of  punishment.  He 
smiled,  and  inquired  to  what  I  alluded.  "  Well,  I  shall  tell 
you,  but  it  must  be  without  prejudice — I  hope  with  advan 
tage  to  the  party."  This  being  promised,  I  mentioned  that 
I  had  been  shooting  grouse  the  previous  autumn  in  the  far 
north — Caithnesshire — and  that,  in  travelling  by  the  Thurso 
and  Inverness  mail,  in  walking  up  one  of  the  hills  with  the 
other  passangers  and  talking  to  the  guard  (we  w^ere  not  far 
from  John  O'Groat's  at  the  time),  I  discovered  he  was  a 
Cockney.  "  How  comes  it,  guard,  that  you  are  in  this  part 
of  the  world?"  "You  may  veil  say  that,  sir,  the  fact 
being,  that  hi  ham  ban  hexile  hof  Siberia."  "  An  exile  of 
Siberia,  what  do  you  mean  ?  "  u  Vy,  sir,  hi  vas  hon  the 
Hexeter  Road  vonce,  hi  vas  hindeed,  hand  hi  vas  halso  hon 


THE   CUTTY-STOOL.  291 

the  good  hold  Bath  Road ;  hin  fact,  lion  the  best  roads 
hout  hof  London,  hand  now,  sir,  hi  ham  on  the  werry  vorst. 
Please,  sir,  jump  hin  hand  hi'll  tell  you  the  rest  hat  next 
'ill."  At  next  'ill  I  was  made  master  of  the  affair,  which, 
in  brief,  was,  that  "  vicked  people  habout  the  'ead  hoffice 
'ad  told  the  secretary  that  hi,  has  mail-guard  hon  duty,  vas 
hin  liquor  ven  hi  'anded  hin  the  letter-bags  vone  morning — 
hit  vas  a  preshus  cold  morning — hand  hi  'ad  honly  a  drop 
o'  rum-hand-milk  lion  ban  hempty  stomach." 

Sir  Henry  recollected  the  circumstance  of  the  guard  in 
question  being  sent  to  Siberia,  as  he  described  it ;  and  he 
authorized  me  on  my  next  vist  to  the  northern  Scotch 
county  to  tell  him  that  when  he,  Sir  Henry,  learned  that  he 
had  not  transferred  his  taste  from  English  gin  to  Scotch 
whiskey,  he  might  expect  to  be  recalled  from  Siberia,  but 
not  till  then. 

I  promised  to  note  this  ;  at  the  same  time  I  recommended 
Sir  Henry  to  enter  upon  his  own  agenda-sheet  the  fact  that 
the  natives  of  the  counties  of  Caithness  and  Sutherland  had 
as  much  dislike  to  having  their  necks  broken  through  the 
agency  of  a  banished,  drunken,  English  mail-coach  guard, 
as  the  inhabitants  of  Middlesex  or  Berkshire.  He  promised 
duly  to  register  in  the  archives  of  the  Post-Office  the  view 
I  had  propounded,  as  he  held  the  county  of  Caithness,  and 
all  members  of  the  clan  Sinclair,  and  especially  the  conser 
vative  section  of  it,  in  high  respect. 

116.  The  Cutty-Stool,  or  Scotch  Stool  of  Repentance. 

I  find  I  have  the  advantage  of  Dean  Ramsay,  if  it  can 
be  called  so,  in  having  witnessed  in  early  life,  at  least  half 
a  dozen  times,  one  of  the  most  painful  exhibitions  that 
could  possibly  be  witnessed  under  any  circumstances,  more 
particularly  in  the  house  of  God. 

The  Verv  Reverend  Dean  observes  :    "  A  circumstance 


292  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

connected  with  Scottish  church  discipline  has  undergone  a 
great  change  in  my  time.  I  mean  the  public  censure  from 
the  pulpit,  in  the  time  of  divine  service,  of  offenders  previous 
ly  convicted  before  the  minister  and  his  Kirk  session.  This 
was  performed  by  the  guilty  person  standing  up  before 
the  congregation  on  a  raised  platform,  called  the  cutty- 
stoolj  and  receiving  a  rebuke.  I  never  saw  it  done,"  says 
the  Dean,  "  but  have  heard  in  my  part  of  the  country  of 
the  discipline  being  enforced  occasionally."  The  Dean  then 
proceeds :  "  Indeed,  I  recollect  an  instance  where  the 
rebuke  was  thus  administered,  and  received,  under  circum 
stances  of  a  touching  character,  and  which  made  it  partake 
of  the  '  moral  sublime.'  " 

The  case  I  am  about  to  give,  and  which  I  witnessed  in 
our  parish  church,  partook,  to  a  large  extent,  of  the  "  moral 
ridiculous."  "We  shall  all  agree  with  the  Dean,  as  the  most 
distinguished  delineator  of  Scottish  character,  that  such 
public  censures  "  were  more  honored  in  the  breach  than  the 
observance."  I  must  preface  the  instance  I  am  about  to  de 
scribe  by  stating  that  my  father  had  for  a  lengthened  period 
used  all  legitimate  means  to  see  abrogated  and  annulled 
what  he  considered  a  most  illegitimate  method  of  inflicting 
Church  censure,  and  contended  that  if  the  Church  of  Scot 
land,  in  its  wisdom,  believed  such  a  mode  of  public  ex 
posure  was  the  only  proper  course  of  stopping  one  cry- 
ing  evil — which  my  father  ventured  to  declare  it  never 
would  have  the  effect  of  doing — the  least  that  the  heads 
of  families  in  the  parish  had  a  right  to  expect  was  to  be 
previously  apprised  when  the  miserable  exhibition  of  a 
poor  erring  creature  on  the  cutty-stool  was  to  come  off,  so 
that  the  female  branches  of  their  families  might  have  the 
opportunity  of  staying  at  home.  I  think  my  father  even 
threatened  to  raise  a  fund  to  meet  the  fines  from  time  to 
time,  which,  if  paid  to  the  Kirk  session,  saved  the  Wretched 
exposure.  He  declared  that  the  enormity  should  be  bracket- 


THE   CUTTY-STOOL.  293 

ed  with  whiskey-drinking  as  the  great  scandal  of  Scotland. 
The  pecuniary  fine  to  supersede  the  necessity  of  standing, 
not  in  a  white  sheet,  but  in  a  long  blue-headed  woollen 
cloak,  averaged  from  three  to  five  pounds,  the  receipt  of 
which,  by  the  Kirk  session,  my  relative  pronounced  to  be 
the  very  sublimation  of  the  mammon  of  unrighteousness. 
"  Condonation,"  he  exclaimed,  "  can  be  purchased  in  my 
parish  at  from  sixty  to  one  hundred  shillings  for  each  of 
fence."  He  lived  before  his  time,  for,  with  all  deference 
to  clerical  authority,  he  held  that  if  "  the  rebuke "  (the 
term  used)  in  accordance  with  the  ecclesiastical  canon,  could 
not  be  dispensed  with,  it  should  be  administered  within 
the  closed  doors  of  the  sacred  edifice ;  in  fact,  as  executi6ns 
now  take  place  inside  not  outside  the  walls  of  Newgate. 
The  worthy  clergyman  of  our  parish,  a  Doctor  of  Divinity, 
and  one  of  the  most  amiable  men  in  the  Church  of  Scotland, 
had  been  in  early  life  my  father's  tutor,  and  he  therefore 
conceived  he  might  reasonably  endeavor  to  exercise  some 
wholesome  influence  with  his  reverend  friend  to  stop  such 
obnoxious  and  revolting  proceedings,  which  he  designated 
a  public  scandal  and  disgrace  in  a  civilized  country.  How 
ever,  I  presume,  as  a  clergyman,  he  could  not  procure  the 
consent  of  his  presbytery.  My  father,  in  his  indignation, 
declared  it  to  be  an  item  of  Church  revenue,  easily  raised 
from  the  affluent  offender,  whereas,  not  so  in  regard  to  her 
who  should  have  been  admonished  privately,  and  counselled 
in  soothing  language  by  her  pastor  "  to  go  and  sin  no  more," 
but  not  through,  the  channel  of  a  public  exposure.  In 
"  Hamlet,"  we  are  told,  "  For  'tis  the  sport  to  have  the  en 
gineer  hoist  with  his  own  petard." 

Many  of  us  know,  from  bitter  experience,  how  often  the 
pioneer  of  improvements  and  reforms  has  to  be  sacrificed 
himself  before  the  goal  he  aimed  at  is  reached.  These  words 
will  apply  to  my  father,  who  contributed  in  no  small  degree 
to  the  removal  of  a  most  offensive  custom,  as  ihe  following 


294  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

incident  proved  the  death-knell  to  the  solemn  mockery  of 
the  cutty-stool  in  my  parish  : 

Before  the  abolition  of  the  slave-trade,  there  was,  from 
my  district,  in  Scotland,  an  excellent  young  man  who  was 
surgeon  of  one  of  the  ships  carrying  slaves  from  the  African 
to  the  American  coast.  He  had  returned  to  London  after 
one  of  his  voyages,  and  had  come  into  Surrey,  where  my 
father  and  mother  resided,  to  pass  the  Saturday  and  Sun 
day  with  them.  He  was  accompanied  by  a  little  black  boy, 
the  hero  of  this  tale,  and  through  whom  an  important  re 
form  was  effected.  The  child  was  too  delicate  to  be  landed 
in  South  Carolina ;  and  the  kind-hearted  doctor  brought 
the  poor  little  fellow  with  him  home.  My  mother  said  to 
the  young  doctor,  "  You  have  acted  your  part  by  this  child, 
and  I  should  now  desire  to  act  mine,  and  bring  him  up." 
The  youthful  surgeon  was  delighted  to  hear  this.  She  then 
said  that,  as  her  own  infant  (my  eldest  brother)  was  to  be 
baptized  in  a  few  days,  it  was  her  intention  her  little  Afri 
can  charge  should  at  the  same  time  be  received  within  the 
bosom  of  the  Church,  and  that,  when  the  day  was  fixed,  she 
would  apprise  him  (the  doctor),  as  she  wished  that  he 
should  be  present.  The  day  arrived,  and  the  party  was  as 
sembled  in  the  church ;  my  mother's  infant  had  received 
his  baptismal  name,  and  now  came  his  little  African  col 
league  to  receive  his.  My  father  and  mother  had  not 
thought  of  a  name  when  the  clergyman  made  the  inquiry. 
It  had  of  course  to  be  fixed  instanter.  "  Well,"  said  my 
father,  "  what  shall  it  be  ?  "  "  Don't  you  think,  my  dear," 
said  my  mother,  "you  had  better  give  him  your  own  name  ?  " 
"  A  very  good  idea,  and  my  name  he  shall  have,"  and  forth 
with  received  it.  Young  Africanus  was  to  all  appearance 
between  eleven  and  twelve  years  of  age.  He  began  his 
lessons,  the  first  being  to  get  rid  of  a  habit  of  swearing 
which  the  sailors  had  taught  him.  For  other  literature  he 
showed  no  particular  taste ;  but  his  immense  affection  for 


THE   CUTTY-STOOL.  295 

the  baby  had  no  bounds :  he  was  always  volunteering  his 
services  as  nurse;  in  fact,  ever  since  the  baptismal  cere 
mony,  Dick — the  name  the  servants  gave  him,  and  by  which 
he  was  known  for  the  next  thirty-eight  years  (Edward  Boyd 
was  the  name  the  parson  gave  him) — claimed  a  joint  pro 
prietorship  in  my  mother's  infant,  and  jealously  did  he  in 
sist  on  his  rights,  to  an  extent  that  sometimes  was  trouble 
some.  Next  to  baby,  his  affections  centred  on  horses,  and 
nothing  did  he  relish  so  much  as  being  put  on  the  back  of 
one  ;  but  he  had  so  many  falls  my  father  told  him  he  should 
not  again  mount  a  horse  until  he  had  learned  to  ride — on 
the  principle  of  learning  to  swim  before  going  into  the 
water.  My  father,  finding  his  instructions  on  this  head  so 
little  attended  to  by  Dick,  saw  that  the  sooner  he  com- ' 
menced  his  equestrian  studies  the  better,  and  the  plan  he 
adopted  to  teach  him  was  this :  He  desired  the  youngster 
to  be  dressed  in  his  Sunday  suit,  with  the  addition  of  his 
upper  coat,  and  his  riding-horse,  which  was  extremely  fresh, 
to  be  brought  out.  Dick  was  firmly  strapped  on,  and  the 
strapping  being  concealed  under  the  upper  coat,  the  groom 
led  the  horse  to  the  edge  of  Clapham  Common,  and  let  him 
loose,  my  father  and  a  few  visitors  being  present.  Both 
horse  and  rider  seemed  to  enjoy  the  fun.  Dick  grinned 
with  intense  delight,  showing  his  brilliant  set  of  teeth  to 
all  who  came  near  him  and  his  Bucephalus.  Mr.  Boyd's 
little  black  lad  was  immortalized  that  day  on  Clapham 
Common  as  one  of  the  most  fearless  riders  whom  the  resi 
dents  had  ever  seen,  as  no  straps  were  visible.  The  horse 
kicked,  leaped,  pranced,  and  galloped  about  the  Common 
for  two  hours,  at  the  end  of  which,  Tom,  the  horse,  think 
ing  that  he  had  had  enough  of  it,  trotted  leisurely  back  to 
his  stable. 

One  day  my  father,  at  his  country  residence,  recollected 
that  he  had  omitted  an  important  message  to  the  captain 
of  one  of  his  ships,  to  sail  that  night  from  Gravesend. 


296  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

There  were  no  steamboats  or  railways  in  those  days,  but 
twenty-five  miles  to  be  accomplished  by  turnpike -road,  arid 
his  groom  and  coachman  were  both  absent.  Dick  had  been 
up  and  down  to  Ramsgate  during  the  summer,  and  had  the 
bump  of  locality  largely  developed.  He  heard  my  father 
expressing  to  himself  his  anxiety  as  to  how  a  communica 
tion  could  reach  the  captain  of  the  ship  "  Wheatfield  "  at 
Gravesend.  "  Massa,  me  go  to  Gravesend."  "  You  go  to 
Gravesend  !  "  said  my  father,  "  you  don't  know  the  way." 
"  Me  do,  massa ;  me  go  Blackheath,  Dartford,  den  Graves- 
end."  "  Well,  Dick,  that  is  quite  right,  but  you  can't  ride 
Tom."  "  O  massa,  me  ride  Tom  every  day  you  in  Lon 
don."  This  my  father  long  suspected.  "  Now,  Dick,  if  I 
•send  you  with  an  important  letter  for  Captain  Young  of 
the  ship  '  Wheatfield,'  what  will  you  do  ?  "  "  Massa,  me  go 
to  Gravesend,  me  put  up  Tom  at  de  stable,  den  me  go  down 
to  de  sea  and  take  de  boat,  and  me  say,  '  Take  me  to  de 
ship  "  Wheatfield," '  and  me  go  on  board,  and  Captain 
Young  know  Dick,  and  me  say,  '  Captain,  me  have  letter 
from  massa  in  my  pocket,  and  you,  Captain,  take  it  out,  and 
you  write  massa  letter,'  and  me  bring  back  letter  to  you, 
massa."  "  That  will  do  very  well,  Dick — now  go  and  dress 
yourself,  and  tell  a  man  from  the  garden  to  saddle  Tom  and 
bring  him  round."  In  a  quarter  of  an  hour  Dick  was  off  to 
Gravesend  with  the  letter  sewn  in  his  coat,  and  ten  shillings 
in  his  pocket  to  pay  his  expenses. 

My  father's  mind  was  quite  relieved,  and  he  was  much 
pleased  with  Dick's  precocity  and  readiness.  Within  an 
hour  Tom  came  galloping  back  without  his  rider.  Dick,  of 
course,  was  supposed  to  be  somewhere  having  his  wounds 
dressed,  and  the  opportunity  lost  for  dispatching  this  im 
portant  letter.  While  my  father  was  puzzling  what  was 
to  be  done,  up  drove  a  coach  with  Dick  in  or  on  it,  un 
injured,  and  the  letter  equally  safe;  but  Dick  was  mortified 
in  the  extreme  to  learn  that  Tom  had  reached  home  first. 


THE   CUTTY-STOOL.  297 

There  was  no  time  for  Dick's  vivid  description  as  to  the 
manner  in  which  Tom  had  dislodged  him  from  his  back,  for 
in  ten  minutes  my  father  was  himself  on  it,  reached  Graves- 
end  in  a  marvellously  short  time,  and  delivered  his  dispatch 
in  person. 

Dick's  first  step  of  promotion  in  our  family  was  to  that 
position  now  termed  "  buttons,"  but  in  this  capacity  he  was 
at  times  inconveniently  ingenuous.  On  one  occasion,  during 
a  dinner-party,  there  was  something  asked  for  out  of  the 
common  way,  upon  which  he  announced  to  the  whole  room 
that  there  was  none  in  the  house.  My  mother  next  day 
said,  "  Dick,  you  must  not  in  future  be  at  a  loss,  nor  must 
you  speak  so  loud."  Shortly  after  this,  my  mother  having 
gone  on  a  visit  for  the  day,  my  father  had  for  a  guest  his 
old  friend,  Sir  James  Shaw,  who  used  to  tell  the  following 
anecdote  of  Dick  :  Tea  was  ordered,  and  Dick  was  desired 
to  pour  it  out.  Sir  James  and  my  father  discovered  it  was 
only  hot  water  and  milk.  "  Dick,"  exclaimed  my  father, 
"there  is  no  tea !  "  " No,  massa,  no  tea.  Missy  take  away 
the  keys."  "  Then  why  did  you  give  us  hot  water  ? " 
"  Cause,  massa,  missy  always  say  to  me,  '  Dick,  never  be 
at  a  loss.' " 

I  must  now  carry  Dick  down  to  Scotland,  where  he 
spent  the  next  twenty-five  years — the  horse  Tom  about 
fifteen  of  that  number,  half  of  which  he  carried  that  glori 
ous  old  soldier  on  his  back,  General  the  Hon.  Sir  William 
Stewart,  to  whom  my  father  presented  him — hero  and 
horse  having  now  both  gone  on  the  retired  list. 

Dick  was  pronounced,  whether  in  the  capacity  of  foot 
man  or  butler,  one  of  the  best  servants  to  be  met  with. 
He  was  honest,  obliging,  and  affectionate.  Probably  he 
had  too  much  of  the  last  quality.  The  dinner  was  served 
up  one  Saturday,  when  suddenly  our  cook  resigned  the 
seals  of  office  which  she  had  held  for  years  with  the  highest 
of  characters,  and  retired  to  her  relations  in  our  village. 


298  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

Next  day  being  Sunday,  when  tittle-tattle  rules  round  the 
kirk-door,  before  and  after  service,  to  any  conceivable  ex 
tent,  a  dreadful  rumor  was  floated  to  the  effect  that  a  "  lit 
tle  stranger  "  had  appeared,  of  somewhat  an  African  hue. 
Dick's  uneasy  manner  and  chop-fallen  look  soon  showed 
that  he  knew  the  secret  of  the  rumor,  and  that  he  did  not 
dispute  the  honors  of  paternity.  My  father's  distress  was 
acute,  for  he  mourned  bitterly  over  the  loss  of  his  excellent 
cook.  My  poor  mother  viewed  the  case  from  a  more 
serious  point.  She  feared  there  had  been  something  terri 
bly  defective  on  her  part,  although  she  was  always  exhort 
ing  Dick  to  be  sober-minded,  and  endeavoring  to  mould 
him  as  much  as  possible  after  the  character  of  Joseph. 

A  few  weeks  had  passed  over,  and  the  subject  was 
dying  gradually  away.  We  were  all  at  Church — the  ser 
mon  was  over,  the  last  hymn  sung,  when  the  clergyman 
announced,  with  the  usual  solemnity,  that  we  were  to  keep 
our  seats,  as  a  most  painful  and  needful  duty  had  to  be 
performed,  videlicet  to  "  administer  a  rebuke."  There  was 
nothing  which  so  instantaneously  or  so  magically  riveted 
the  attention  of  His  Majesty's  liege  subjects  in  a  Scotch 
kirk  as  these  words. 

There  stood  a  tall  woman,  dressed  and  hooded  in  a  long 
blue  cloak.  My  father's  countenance  was  now  mantling 
with  indignation  to  find  that  he  was  still  no  more  success 
ful  "  in  putting  down  "  this  enormity  than  the  sagacious 
alderman  who  was  bent  on  "  putting  down  suicide."  But 
he  was  utterly  unprepared  for  what  was  now  to  be  enacted 
in  the  presence  of  a  large  and  respectable  congregation,  in 
cluding  his  own  wife  and  family.  "  There  you  stand,"  said 
the  clergyman,  adding  the  name  of  my  father's  late  cook  ; 
and  after  the  two  awful  words,  "heinous  crime,"  etc.,  fol 
lowed  the  name  proper  of  his  black  man  Dick,  who,  it  will 
be  recollected,  was  christened  after  his  master,  Edward 
Boyd.  "  What's  in  a  name  ?  "  A  great  deal  more  than  is 


A  LINCOLNSHIRE   PARSON.  299 

agreeable,  thought  my  father  at  that  moment,  as  he  sat  in 
the  front  seat  of  the  gallery  overhanging  the  pulpit,  and 
was  forced  to  listen  to  the  administration  of  the  rebuke. 

Sydney  Smith,  the  witty  Dean  of  St.  Paul's,  said  that 
we  should  never  have  safety  in  railway  travelling,  until  a 
bishop  was  burnt  in  one  of  the  carriages  ;  and  here  was  my 
father,  one  of  the  most  active  magistrates  of  his  county,  if 
not  burnt,  at  least  thoroughly  roasted,  for  no  one  would 
admit  that  black  "  Dick "  was  recognized  by  any  other 
name,  and  it  was  not  very  easy  for  my  father  to  persuade 
people  in  W^gtonshire  that  Dick  was  not  really  Dick,  but 
Edward. 

"  Well,"  said  my  father,  "  I  acknowledge  I  am  hoisted 
with  my  own  petard,  but  my  execution  shall  be  the  grave 
of  the  cutty-stool  in  this  parish."  And  so  it  was. 

117.  A  Lincolnshire  Parson  and  his  Diocesan. 

My  late  friend  the  Rev.  Dr.  W.  Wright,  a  tithe  of 
whose  anecdotes  I  wish  I  could  bring  to  my  recollection, 
told  an  excellent  one  that  occurred  within  his  diocese, 
Lincoln.  A  brother  clergyman,  a  character  in  his  way,  and 
a  favorite  with  his  bishop  and  every  one  else,  had  a  parish 
in  an  extremely  fenny  district.  The  bishop,  taking  the  po 
sition  into  consideration,  authorized  the  incumbent  to  per 
form  duty  only  every  alternate  Sunday  during  the  winter. 
But  a  complaint  having  reached  his  lordship  that  the  rev 
erend  gentleman  had  not  had  the  doors  of  his  church  open 
for  the  previous  six  weeks,  he  was  obliged  to  administer  a 
sharp  letter  of  rebuke.  To  this  the  parson  replied,  "  My 
lord,  I  have  had  the  honor  to  receive  your  lordship's  letter, 
and  all  I.  have,  in  explanation  to  your  lordship,  to  say  is, 
that  the  devil  himself  cannot  get  at  my  parishioners  during 
the  winter,  and  I  promise  your  lordship  to  be  before  him 
in  the  spring." 


300  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

The  doctor  used  to  describe  the  manner  in  which  an 
auctioneer  was  interfered  with  in  the  sale  of  the  next 
presentation  to  a  living.  He  was  expatiating,  in  the  usual 
eloquent  strain,  on  the  prospect  of  an  early  succession. 
The  incumbent  was  present  as  a  matter  of  curiosity. 
"  Why,  gentlemen,"  said  the  auctioneer,  "  the  holder  of  the 
living  is  seventy-four  years  of  age,  with  one  foot  in  the 
grave."  At  this  announcement  up  started  the  reverend 
gentleman,  a  stout,  hale  man,  stamped  loudly  on  one  foot 
and  then  on  the  other,  when  he  requested  the  knight  of  the 
hammer  to  tell  him  which  foot  was  interred. 

Dr.  Wright's  story  of  the  Lincolnshire  parson  and  his 
bishop,  reminds  me  of  a  story  I  have  met  somewhere  of  the 
poor  minister  in  a  far  north  parish  in  Scotland,  who  was 
called  over  the  coals  for  describing  the  lower  regions  as  a 
cold  and  bleak  abode,  very  different  to  what  we  are  taught 
to  believe  them  to  be.  He  acknowledged  the  charge 
brought  against  him,  for  which  he  had  only  one  observa 
tion  to  make,  that  his  parish  was  about  the  most  frigid, 
wretched,  and  miserable  in  point  of  climate  of  any  in  Scot 
land,  and  had  he  described  Satan's  kingdom  as  being  a 
warm  region,  his  parishioners  would  have  been  off  to  it  in 
a  body  long  since  ! 

118.   The  Chiltern  Hundreds. 

Our  nearest  neighbor  in  Scotland  was  the  Hon.  Mont 
gomery  Stewart,  fourth  son  of  John,  seventh  Earl  of  Gal 
loway.  He  represented  the  county  of  Kirkcudbright  in 
Parliament  from  1804  to  1812,  and  died  in  1860.  There 
was  a  story  in  connection  with  the  Chiltern  Hundreds  which 
I  often  heard  at  Mr.  Stewart's  and  my  father's  table,  and 
which  I  hope  I  may  relate  with  as  much  piquancy  as  it  de 
serves.  "  Ah,"  he  would  say,  "  the  acceptance  of  the  Chil- 
terns  usually  brings  something  good,  but  it  was  not  so  in 


THE   CHILTERN  HUNDREDS.  301 

my  case."  After  a  tremendous  contest,  in  which  almost 
more  money  was  spent  and  more  bitter  feeling  generated, 
than  ever  was  witnessed  at  any  county  election  in  Scotland, 
Mr.  Stewart  was  elected  M.  P.  for  the  stewartry  of  Kirkcud 
bright.  After  the  election,  the  noble  earl,  his  father,  said 
to  him,  "  Monty,  I  wish  you  to  sign  this  letter."  The  young 
and  obedient  senator  acceded  to  this  as  a  matter  of  course, 
especially  as  he  had  been  desired  to  do  so  by  one  who  had 
just  helped  to  raise  him  to  his  proud  position.  He  entered 
the  House  of  Commons  as  the  supporter  of  the  politics  of 
his  family,  which  wrere  those  of  the  Government  then  in 
power  (that  of  Mr.  Pitt) ;  the  Earl  of  Galloway,  I  should 
add,  was  a  knight  of  the  Thistle,  and  one  of  the  lords  of 
the  bedchamber  to  George  the  Third,  and,  a  few  years  pre 
viously,  had  been  created  an  English  baron.  I  think  it  not 
improbable  that  his  father,  in  taking  this  letter,  had  some 
misgivings  in  regard  to  his  son's  political  creed. 

A  struggle  subsequently  arose  between  two  rival  and 
competitive  statesmen,  Viscount  Castlereagh  and  George 
Canning.  The  member  for  Kirkcudbrightshire  became  the 
friend  and  ardent  admirer  of  Canning,  and  so  long  as  he 
restricted  himself  to  admiration  of  the  man,  and  of  his  elo 
quence,  no  injury  could  be  inflicted  on  those  family  interests 
and  political  prospects  that  might  be  looming  in  the  future. 
But  a  hostile  vote  in  favor  of  Mr.  Canning  and  against  the 
noble  lord  who  was  the  all-powerful  member  of  a  strong 
Government — this  was  an  act  of  heresy  and  disobedience 
not  to  be  easily  forgiven. 

It  would  appear  that  Mr.  Canning  had  moved,  in  a 
speech  of  unrivalled  eloquence,  an  amendment  to  a  motion 
introduced  by  Lord  Castlereagh,  and  divided  the  House 
against  the  noble  lord.  The  division  list,  next  morning,  to 
the  surprise  and  indignation  of  Lord  Galloway,  gave  his 
son's  name  as  a  supporter  of  Canning.  Although  highly 
incensed,  he  did  not  send  for  his  mutineer  son,  but  took 


302  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

another  course.  He  went  to  his  escritoir  and  took  out  the 
letter  which  his  then  dutiful  and  submissive  son  Monty  had 
signed  at  his  election.  That  letter,  which  required  only  the 
date  to  be  inserted,  was  a  very  important  document.  It 
was  an  application  addressed  to  the  Speaker  of  the  House 
of  Commons  for  the  Stewardship  of  the  Cliiltern  Hundreds. 
The  Earl  placed  the  letter  in  the  hands  of  a  member  who, 
on  the  House  meeting,  moved  that  a  new  writ  be  issued  for 
the  county  of  Kirkcudbright,  vacant  by  the  acceptance  of 
the  Stewardship  of  the  Chiltern  Hundreds  by  the  Honor 
able  Montgomery  Stewart,  who,  quite  unconscious  that  his 
father  had  made  himself  so  busy  that  day  to  obtain  an  office 
under  the  Crown  for  him,  sauntered  down  to  the  House 
some  hour  or  two  after  his  political  extinction.  A  respect 
ful  bow  as  he  was  about  to  enter  the  House  from  the  door 
keeper  rather  surprised  him,  as  the  latter  stood  in  front  of 
the  doorway.  "  Why,  sir,  I  beg  pardon,  but  you  are  not 
now  in  the  House."  "  I  know  that,  but  I  shall  be  in  a 
minute."  While  exchanging  words  with  the  door-keeper, 
out  came  a  member,  who,  I  suppose,  in  the  parlance  of  the 
present  day,  said,  "  Why,  Stewart,  what's  up  ?  A  Lordship 
of  the  Treasury  .or  Admiralty,  no  doubt.  Ah,  you  Scotch 
men,  another  job !  "  "  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  "  Why,  my 
dear  fellow,  you  have  taken  the  Chilterns."  "Not  I." 

"  Well,  all  I  can  tell  you  is,  that  ,  two  hours  ago, 

moved  for  a  fresh  writ  for  your  county."  "  All  I  can  say 
is  I  know  nothing  of  it."  As  the  House  of  Commons  had 
closed  its  doors  against  him  for  that  night  at  least,  a  visit 
to  the  parental  roof  suggested  itself,  where,  it  may  be  sup 
posed,  a  tolerable  explosion  followed.  We  must  presume 
that  the  matter  got  well  ventilated  throughout  the  House, 
that  the  recently-appointed  youthful  Steward  of  the  Chil 
tern  Hundreds  repudiated  his  appointment,  and  the  Earl, 
having  time  to  reflect  on  the  bill  of  costs  which  his  son's 
seat  for  Kirkcudbrightshire  had  already  brought  upon  him, 


THE   TWO  SIR  JAMES  GRAHAMS.  303 

began  to  repent  of  his  hasty  act.  His  influence,  however, 
was  sufficient  to  have  the  letter  withdrawn,  as  Mr.  Stewart 
remained  M.  P.  for  the  stewartry  of  Kirkcudbright  until 
1812.  But  I  have  been  told  on  excellent  authority,  that 
even  after  the  death  of  his  father,  which  occurred  in  1806, 
he  was  much  too  honest  a  politician  to  allow  himself  to  be 
dictated  to  regarding  his  votes  during  the  six  remaining 
years  of  his  Parliamentary  life,  and  that  this  feeling  of  in 
dependence  on  his  part  frequently  led  to  family  differences 
which  had  better  have  been  avoided. 

119.   The  Two  Sir  James  Grahams  of  Netherby. 

Sir  James  Graham  of  Netherby  was  not  distinguished 
as  a  politician,  like  his  eminent  son  and  successor  James 
Robert  George,  who,  it  was  said,  inherited  his  great  and 
varied  talents  from  his  mother,  Lady  Catherine  Stewart, 
eldest  daughter  of  John,  seventh  Earl  of  Galloway,  to  whom 
I  have  already  referred ;  but  he  was  an  excellent  man  in  all 
domestic  relations — a  kind  and  good  landlord,  and  held  in 
estimation  by  his  tenantry  and  dependants.  He  was  fond 
of  a  bon  mot,  and  not  unfrequently  perpetrated  one  success 
fully.  He  was  attending  a  county  meeting  at  Carlisle, 
accompanied  by  his  son,  the  embryo  statesman,  who  had 
arrived  a  day  or  two  before  from  Sicily,  where  he  held  a 
diplomatic  appointment.  An  old  friend  of  the  house  of 
Netherby  came  up  to  him  in  the  street,  when  Sir  James 
introduced  him  to  his  son,  one  of  the  handsomest  young 
men  of  his  day,  upward  of  six  feet  in  height,  athletic  and 
strongly  built,  whereas  papa  was  a  slight  little  man,  of 
about  five  feet  six  inches.  The  introduction  over,  his  friend 
remarked,  "  Why,  Netherby,  your  son  could  put  you  in  his 
pocket."  "  That  may  be,  but  all  I  can  tell  you  is,  he  is 
never  out  of  mine." 

I  at  this  moment  recollect  a  rather  singular  occurrence 


304  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

in  connection  with  the  future  emminent  statesman.  His 
mother,  Lady  Catherine  Graham,  as  a  widow,  resided  with 
the  then  unmarried  members  of  her  family  for  a  few  years 
on  Clapham  Common  in  Surrey,  and  dining  one  day  with 
an  aunt  of  mine,  accompanied  by  her  son,  Commander 
Charles  Graham,  R.  N.,  when,  talking  over  different  mat 
ters  with  my  father  after  dinner,  connected  with  his  pro 
fession,  she  remarked,  "  Ah,  my  brother  James,  with  his 
extreme  politics,  has  completely  blasted  my  prospects  in 
the  service,"  etc.  Within  six  months  of  that  dinner-party, 
Sir  James  Graham  was  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty. 

Captain  Graham,  dining  with  my  brother  and  myself 
shortly  after  the  accession  of  Earl  Grey  to  office,  referred 
with  a  smile  to  the  conversation  he  had  had  with  my  father 
as  to  the  ruin  of  his  prospects  through  the  whiggery  of  his 
eldest  brother !  He  was  a  witty  and  hospitable  man  on 
board  his  ship,  and  a  good  story  is  told  of  him  on  leaving 
Spithead  for  the  Pacific,  sending  for  his  steward,  and  de 
siring  him  to  keep  every  cork  that  was  drawn  for  his  own 
cabin.  This  order  was  strictly  observed,  for  on  his  return 
at  the  end  of  three  years  such  a  collection  or  accumulation 
of  corks  was  never  before  issued  from  any  captain  of  a 
man-of-war's  mess.  Sir  James  laughed  heartily  when  he 
heard  of  the  extensive  importation  of  corks  from  the  South 
Seas,  and  asked  his  facetious  sailor  brother  what  he  meant 
by  it  ?  "  Well,  James,  you  know  you  speak  for  the  family, 
and  I  drink  for  it."  "  Charles,  you  are  incorrigible."  He 
died  a  vice-admiral. 


120.   The  Marquis  of  Blandford. 

One  day  Mr.  Stewart  called  upon  my  father  with  his 
handsome  and  agreeable  nephew,  the  Marquis  of  Blandford, 
afterward  George,  fifth  Duke  of  Marlborough,  who  had  got 
himself  into  a  double  scrape.  It  appeared  that,  on  the  pre- 


THE   MARQUIS   OF  BLANDFORD.  305 

vious  Sunday,  in  posting  across  the  country  from  Glasgow, 
his  man  had  let  the  dogs  down  to  have  a  run :  they  soon 
found  game.  His  lordship  forgot  the  day,  and  his  servant 
forgot  to  remind  him  of  it,  nor  was  the  proprietorship  of 
the  land  inquired  into.  His  gun  was  in  instant  requisition, 
and  a  brace  of  grouse  bagged,  but,  unfortunately,  on  the 
property  of  a  laird  who  was  on  the  reverse  of  friendly 
terms  with  the  noble  family  of  Galloway.  The  report  soon 
spread  that  the  son-in-law  of  an  exemplary  peer  was  seen 
shooting  on  the  Sabbath,  and  committing  a  trespass  on 
another  man's  estate,  in  addition  to  the  offence  against  the 
"  Sabbath."  "  What  is  to  be  done,  Boyd  ?  "  "  Well,"  said 
my  father,  "  my  opinion  is  founded  upon  the  answer  the 
German  innkeeper  gave  to  a  former  Duke  of  Brunswick, 
who,  while  travelling,  had  stopped  with  his  suite  to  break 
fast  at  his  auberge.  When  the  duke  called  for  his  bill,  he 
observed  an  enormous  charge  for  eggs,  and  sent  for  the 
landlord,  holding  the  bill  in  his  hand.  '  Why,  eggs  must 
be  very  scarce  in  this  country?'  'Oh,  no  your  Serene 
Highness,  eggs  are  not  at  all  scarce,  but  grand-dukes  are  1 ' 
Therefore,"  said  my  father,  addressing  Mr.  Stewart,  "  you 
and  I  must  not  interfere;  but  as  young  and  handsome 
marquises  are  scarce  in  this  country,  the  ladies  of  the  of 
fended  laird's  family  must  be  consulted ;  and  my  advice  is  " 
(addressing  the  marquis)  "  that  you  drive  over  to  the  laird 
without  delay,  confess  your  •  fault,  and  apologize  to  the 
ladies  for  having  overlooked  the  sanctity  of  the  day,  and, 
if  I  mistake  not,  you  will  return  to  your  uncle's  with  a 
verdict  of  acquittal."  The  advice  was  forthwith  followed, 
and  next  day  the  marquis  came  to  see  my  father,  to  thank 
him  for  his  sound  counsel,  which  had  been  more  than  real 
ized,  for,  in  addition  to  the  hospitality  he  met  with,  the 
laird  gave  him  carte  blanche  to  shoot  over  his  lands  then 
and  in  all  times  to  come.  How  the  marquis  settled  his 
offence  with  the  clergy  I  forget ;  but  I  assume  that  the 


306  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

clergyman  and  elders  of  the  parish  in  which  the  brace  of 
grouse  were  slain  either  passed  a  bill  of  indemnity  or 
granted  the  young  lord  of  Blenheim  a  free  pardon. 

121.  Admiral  M^Kerlie  and  /Sir  James  Graham. 

My  late  gallant  friend  Admiral  John  M'Kerlie,  then 
a  post-captain,  had  been  invited  to  join  at  Mr.  Stewart's  a 
party  of  distinguished  sportsmen,  one  of  whom  was  the 
First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  his  own  nephew,  the  late  Sir 
James  R.  G.  Graham.  It  was  arranged  that  they  were  to 
shoot  in  pairs.  "  M'Kerlie,"  said  Mr.  Stewart,  "  you  had 
better  shoot  with  the  First  Lord,  and  make  your  game!" 
The  post-captain  had  lost  his  right  arm  in  action  under 
Sir  Edward  Pellew  (Lord  Exmouth),  but  was  an  excellent 
shot.  During  the  day  Sir  James  asked  him  if  he  ever  in 
tended  again  to  go  afloat.  "  That,  sir,  entirely  rests  with 
the  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty."  "  Oh,  I  am  very  glad," 
said  the  First  Lord,  "  that  I  asked  the  question,  as  we  are 
bringing  forward  two  frigates  for  commission,  the  4  Vernon,' 
and  the  '  President,'  and  you  shall  have  one  of  them ; "  and 
at  the  same  time  he  made  a  memorandum  in  his  pocket- 
book.  The  promise  was  kept,  and  my  esteemed  and  gallant 
friend — a  Trafalgar  officer — served  his  full  time  on  the  ac 
tive  list,  and  died  a  rear-admiral,  highly  respected  in  life 
and  deeply  regretted  at  its  close. 

122.  How  to  get  rid  of  Tramps. 

I  was  lately  dining  with  a  gallant  and  hospitable  friend 
of  mine  in  a  suburban  county,  and  a  discussion  after  dinner 
arose  on  different  country  annoyances  to  which  a  resident 
proprietor  was  exposed,  particularly  within  a  certain  radius 
of  London.  Among  our  party  there  was  a  very  agreeable 
member,  who  had  passed  many  years  in  the  Life  Guards, 


HOW   TO   GET   RID   OF   TRAMPS.  307 

and  knew  the  environs  of  the  great  metropolis,  and  its 
social  grievances  and  their  remedies,  better  than  any  of  us. 
"  Well,"  said  our  host,  "  there  is  one  I  would  thank  you 
immensely  to  cure  for  me :  as  I  am  pestered  and  overrun 
daily  with  tramps."  "Yes,"  answered  the  veteran  ex- 
officer,  "  that  I  can  easily  do.  I  will  give  you  a  leaf  out 
of  my  elder  brother's  book ;  and  if  your  servants  will  act 
strictly  up  to  it,  I  promise  a  speedy  and  effectual  remedy. 
The  year  after  my  brother  was*High-Sheriff  of  Berkshire, 
he  was  annoyed,  beyond  measure,  by  tramps,  and  after 
pondering  for  some  time  for  a  preventive,  he  bethought 
himself  of  the  following :  He  told  his  butler  to  apprise 
him  of  the  first  tramp  that  appeared ;  and,  in  accordance 
with  routine,  there  was  an  early  arrival,  the  bearer  of  the 
usual  tale — '  Starving,  sir,  hi  hassure  you  ;  not  a  ha'porth 
o'  bread,  hor  a  morsel  o'  wittals,  'as  passed  down  my  throat 
since  yesterday  morning.'  He  had  therefore  a  formidably 
thick  slice  of  dry  bread  cut  and  handed  to  the  starving 
tramp ;  and  he  waited  until  he  saw  him  eat  it.  There  was 
a  glass  of  water  in  addition  at  the  tramp's  command;  but 
this  was  optional,  whereas  eating  the  bread  was  compul 
sory.  If  he  ate  his  slice  of  bread,  he  was  then  asked  to  say 
the  Lord's  Prayer,  after  which,  if  he  was  perfect  in  it,  he 
was  presented  with  one  penny  and  desired  to  depart.  Fre 
quently  the  tramp,  in  telling  his  woful  tale,  had  overlooked 
the  fact  of  having  previously  breakfasted,  and  when  the 
butler  or  other  domestic  presented  him  with  his  thick  slice 
of  bread,  the  dimensions  of  which  were  strictly  adhered  to, 
he  found  himself  in  a  fix.  He  had  then  to  move  his  ground. 
'  'E  'adn't  a-paid  for  'is  last  night's  lodging  hin  the  willage 
vich  'e  vished  to  do,  hand  a  few  coppers  to  make  up  jist 
has  much  has  vould  carry  him  hon  to  'is  hown  parish.' 
Nothing  would  satisfy  the  ex-Sheriff.  '  You  said  you  had 
tasted  no  food  since  yesterday,  and  that  you  were  starving ; 
eat  that  bread  and  then  I  shall  see  what  I  can  do  for  you.' 


308  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

As  the  tramp's  inner  man  was  already  full,  this  AY  as  impos 
sible,  and  there  \vas  no  alternative  but  to  take  himself  off. 
Tramps,  like  other  select  bodies,  meet  at  times  in  convoca 
tion  for  the  discussion  of  important  matters  affecting  the 
interests  of  their  body.  The  High-Sheriff  was  declared  in 
one  of  these  convocations  to  be  *  no  good  vatsomedever.' 
*  Vy,  he  stuffs  vun  vith  dry  bread,  jist  hafter  peraps  you've 
'ad'yer  hown  'earty  meal:  then  you  must  be  liable  to  say 
the  Lord's  Prayer,  hand  hi£  you  does  this  right,  he  pitches 
you  a  single  copper;  but  hif  you  can't  say  no  Lord's 
Prayer,  you  gets  no  copper.  No,  'e  hain't  no  good,  that  'ere 
'Jgh-Sheriff,  hand  hif  you  takes  my  hadwice  '  (addressing  a 
brother  tramp  about  to  start  on  a  journey)  *  you  von't 
bother  wid  'im,  for  hit's  a  no  good.'  In  this  way  my 
brother  relieved  himself  from  tramps  in  Berkshire,  and 
you  may  do  the  same  in  Surrey." 

123.  Matrimony. 

Some  twenty  years  ago,  a  middle-aged  spinster  lady 
told  me  I  should  rank  among  the  greatest  discoverers  of 
my  period,  and  that,  although  the  present  generation  might 
delay  weaving  my  chaplet,  a  future  one  would  not  fail  to 
deck  my  tomb.  I  felt  overwhelmed,  as  well  I  might,  with 
the  astounding  announcement,  and  I  begged  her  to  explain. 
She  assured  me  that  those  of  her  own  sex  with  whom  she 
had  conversed  on  the  subject,  declared  that  I  had  discovered 
the  philosopher's  stone,  and  solved  a  problem  which  the 
immortal  Newton  had  never  even  attempted.  Moreover, 
she  added,  that  had  she  known  me  twenty  years  earlier, 
and  listened  to  the  wisdom  that  had  fallen  from  my  lips, 
she  would  have  followed  implicitly  the  advice  I  then  gave. 

I  wras  so  overcome  by  the  announcement  that  I  scarcely 
dared  to  ask  wThat  I  had  achieved  in  mathematics  to  have 
my  name  connected  with  that  of  Sir  Isaac  Newton  ;  I  con- 


AN  EXCURSION   TO   ORKNEY  AND   SHETLAND.        3 09 

sequently  confined  myself  to  one  inquiry.  "  Pray,  madam, 
is  it  in  pure  or  mixed  mathematics  that  my  elevation  has 
been  gained  ?  "  "  Oh,  in  mixed."  I  hurried  over  in  my 
mind  what  I  deemed  a  simple  task,  i.  e.,  every  problem  from 
the  pom  asinorum  to  the  last  I  ever  attempted  to  solve ; 
and  I  still  failed  to  discover  the  source  of  my  mental  pre 
eminence.  She  at  once  referred  me  to  a  speech  that  I  had 
delivered  in  the  Town-Hall  of  Birmingham  on  December 
14,  1848,  when  engaged  in  "  the  heroic  work  of  coloniza 
tion."  I  had  been  expatiating  at  some  length  on  the  mani 
fold  advantages  which  Australia  offered,  my  anxiety  being 
to  divert  some  portion  of  the  huge  current  of  emigration 
from  the  United  States  and  the  Canadas  to  the  vast  island 
continent  of  Australia.  Among  other  topics  on  which  I 
enlarged,  was  that  of  a  wife  and  family  being  a  source  of 
capital  and  strength  to  a  man  in  our  southern  colonies, 
instead  of  being,  as  is  too  often  the  case  at  home,  of  en 
cumbrance  and  poverty.  Then  turning  my  eyes  to  the 
galleries  occupied  by  the  ladies,  I  called  attention  to  the 
fact  of  the  arrival  of  the  ship  "  William  Stewart"  at  Mel 
bourne  in  the  previous  July  with  an  interesting  list  of  pas 
sengers,  among  whom  there  were  twenty  young  spinsters, 
eight  of  whom  were  married  next  day. 

In  reference  to  this  statement,  in  a  short  article  under 
the  title  of  "  The  Land  for  the  Lasses,"  Mr.  Punch  declares 
that,  if  any  young  woman  wishes  to  know  when  she  will 
be  married,  she  may  satisfy  her  curiosity  by  a  very  easy 
process.  Let  her  take  her  passage  for  Australia,  calculate 
the  length  of  the  voyage,  and  add  to  it  twenty-four  hours. 
Within  that  time  she  will  be  a  wife  or  a  voluntary  spinster. 

124.  An  Excursion  to  Orkney  and  Shetland  in  1839. 

My  esteemed  friend  the  late  Mr.  Anderson,  M.  P.  for 
Orkney  and  Shetland,  said  one  day  to  me  in  London,  "  I 


310  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

wish  you  would  talk  up  our  Islands  among  your  friends, 
and  induce  them,  when  they  go  to  Scotland,  to  include 
Orkney  and  Shetland  in  their  tour :  a  visit  will  amply  re 
pay  them."  "  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  am  as  anxious  as  any  one 
to  see  that  part  of  the  world ;  so  I  promise  you  next  time 
I  go  to  Scotland  to  carry  out  your  wishes  in  regard  to  my 
self."  When  I  returned  to  town,  I  called  upon  my  friend 
and  told  him  I  had  been  delighted  with  the  excursion  he 
had  planned  for  me.  "  Then  do  oblige  me  by  making  a 
sketch  of  your  visit,  and  send  it  to  our  '  London  and  Shet 
land  Journal.' ):  This  I  did  in  a  letter  to  the  editor.  It 
ran  as  follows : 

"  Having  recently  returned  from  Scotland,  after  a  month's 
grouse-shooting  and  salmon-fishing,  or  rather  attempting 
the  latter,  as  I  never  landed  a  single  fish,  I  should  be  un 
grateful  did  I  not  acknowledge  the  obligation  I  am  under 
to  you  for  having  added  much  to  the  pleasure  of  my  excur 
sion,  in  calling  my  attention  to  a  tour  I  had  often  wished 
to  make,  and  the  fear  of  its  occupying  too  much  time.  I 
allude  to  Orkney  and  Shetland.  Your  advertisement, 
*  Pleasure  Trips  to  the  Orkney  and  Shetland  Islands,'  at 
tracted  my  attention  when  in  Aberdeen.  I  learned  with 
no  little  satisfaction  that  I  could  leave  Aberdeen  on  the 
Friday  evening,  visit  Wick  in  Caithness,  Kirkwall  in  Ork 
ney,  and  Lerwick  in  Shetland,  with  two  days  to  see  the 
lions  in  the  last-mentioned  isles ;  in  fact,  explore  Ultima 
Thule,  and  be  in  Modern  Athens  on  the  following  Wednes 
day  afternoon.  So  much  for  steam.  Within  half  an  hour 
I  was  at  the  wharf  waiting  the  arrival  from  Leith  of  the 
steamer  *  Sovereign.'  I  had  mistaken  the  hour  of  sailing, 
having  at  least  two  hours  to  spare.  These,  however,  were 
very  pleasantly  spent.  It  happened  to  be  the  fishermen's 
fete-nig*ht  at  the  conclusion  of  the  herring-fishing  season  on 
the  Aberdeen  coast,  and  they  wrere  giving  their  families  and 
friends  the  annual  ball  at  the  tavern  close  to  my  place  of 


AN  EXCURSION   TO   ORKNEY  AND   SHETLAND.        31 1 

embarkation.  I  therefore  betook  myself  to  the  scene  of 
gayety,  secured  an  apartment  adjoining  the  ballroom, 
taking  care  to  leave  my  door  open  ;  and  I  must  say  I  never 
saw  a  happier  party :  as  to  the  fair  sex,  they  were  a  gal 
axy  of  healthful  beauty. 

u  I  had  been  thrashing  the  river  Ythan  in  the  earlier 
part  of  the  day  for  salmon,  with  my  usual  want  of  skill  and 
success.  Had  the  fates  been  only  propitious,  I  should  have 
sent  in  my  card  and  claim  for  admission  to  the  ballroom 
as  a  brother  professional.  The  steamer's  arrival  called  me 
from  the  contemplation  of  this  piscatorial  Almacks,  and  I 
soon  found  myself  seated  in  the  cabin  at  supper  with  a 
pleasant  set  of  passengers.  As  I  felt  anxious  to  find  out 
the  characters  of  some  of  my  companions,  who  were  all 
bound,  or  the  greater  number,  for  the  same  point  as  my 
self,  I  cast  my  eyes  around,  and  beheld,  seated  next  to  me, 
a  rotund  person  of  bilious  look  and  excited  expression,  that 
plainly  bespoke  him  a  non-amphibious.  Another  also  in 
juxtaposition  to  me,  and  about  to  curl  himself  up  for  the 
night,  had  such  a  fixed  melancholy  in  the  face  as  was  suffi 
cient  to  satisfy  me  that  he  was  calling  number  one  to  ac 
count  for  having  trusted  himself  upon  the  faithless  bosom 
of  the  ocean.  In  both  cases  I  was  convinced  they  had  read 
your  tempting  advertisement. 

"  One  of  our  party  was  a  French  gentleman  of  very 
lively  manners,  whose  volubility  could  gain  nothing  but 
monosyllabic  growls  from  this  couple,  being  a  sorry  return 
for  la  politesse  franpaise  which  he  eminently  possessed. 
Close  to  us  sat  a  young  Oxonian  or  Cantab,  who  seemed 
quite  occupied  in  discussing  a  small  basket  of  evidently 
choice  provisions,  as  he  appeared  in  no  way  desirous  for  any 
thing  political  or  literary.  Another,  of  nautical  exterior, 
according  to  the  last  slop-shop  pattern,  was  describing  to 
his  neighbor  some  extraordinary  points  of  sailing,  which  he 
solemnly  averred  he  had  achieved  in  his  own  yacht,  and 


312  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

they  appeared  to  be  believed,  judging  from  the  attention 
of  the  listener  and  the  high  state  of  gratification  of  the  nar 
rator. 

"  We  started  at  twelve,  and  at  daylight  were  crossing 
the  Moray  Firth,  shortly  coming  in  sight  of  the  Caithness 
coast,  and  those  singular-looking  hills,  the  Paps  of  Caith 
ness.  The  coast  appears  to  be  unusually  studded  with 
ancient  castles — among  those  we  saw  were  Berriedale,  Dun- 
beath,  etc.  At  mid-day  we  reached  Wick,  and  spent  two 
hours  there.  I  was  much  interested  during  our  short  stay 
in  observing  the  process  of  herring  and  codfish  curing,  but 
my  gastronomical  tastes  and  London  ideas  were  shocked  to 
see  the  beautiful  cods'  heads  carried  off  for  manure.  Can 
your  intelligent  correspondent  Peter  Peregrine  not  suggest 
some  mode  by  which  this  seeming  waste  of  the  treasures 
of  the  deep  may  be  obviated  ?  If  he  cannot,  is  there  no 
'  Peregrine  Pickle '  who  can  ?  After  leaving  Wick,  we 
rapidly  passed  along  the  coasts,  parts  of  which  were  bold 
and  imposing,  with  different  castles  rearing  their  heads : 
among  them  old  Wick,  Grinigoe,  and  Bucholly.  On  round 
ing  Duncansby  Head,  the  far-famed  John  o'  Groats  appeared, 
and  the  Pentland  Skerries.  We  then  crossed  the  Pent- 
land  Firth,  coasted  along  the  Islands  of  South  Ronaldsa, 
Barra,  Shafsina,  and  reached  Kirkwall  about  5  P.  M.  We 
landed,  spent  an  hour  looking  at  the  town  and  its  ancient 
Cathedral  of  St.  Magnus,  in  which  is  laid  the  honored  dust 
of  Scotland's  historian,  Laing.  We  regmbarked,  and 
during  the  night  were  much  interested  with  that  singular 
phenomenon,  the  Northern  Lights  or  Aurora  Borealis.  At 
daylight  we  were  passing  Sunburgh,  and  in  the  distance 
saw  the  Fitful  Head.  At  7  A.  M.  we  reached  Lerwick,  and 
on  landing  were  somewhat  alarmed  to  hear  that  there  were 
no  hotels  or  taverns.  We  were  recommended  to  a  board 
ing-house,  where,  though  we  did  not  find  the  luxuries  to  be 
met  with  at  like  establishments  in  Bath  or  Cheltenham, 


AN  EXCURSION  TO   ORKNEY  AND  SHETLAND.        313 

still,  we  experienced  much  attention,  and  were  made  very 
comfortable.  Most  of  our  party  had  a  letter  of  introduc 
tion  to  Mr. ,  from  whom  and  his  family  we  met  with 

great  kindness  and  hospitality.  It  being  Sunday,  the  first 
thing  we  did  (in  the  language  of  the  North)  was  to  make 
ourselves  decent  and  attend  the  kirk. 

"  After  service  we  agreed  to  cross  the  island  to  Scallo- 
way,  and  accordingly  issued  orders  for  a  troop  of  shelties 
(alias  ponies)  to  be  put  in  requisition.  None  appearing, 
our  patience  became  exhausted,  and  we  inquired  the  cause 
of  delay,  when  we  were  told  by  the  shelty  proprietor  that 
we  should  have  bespoken  them  the  day  before.  We  called 
his  attention  to  the  fact  that  we  had  arrived  only  that 
morning,  which  we  thought  he  knew.  He  good-humoredly 
admitted  the  impossibility  under  such  circumstances  of 
giving  the  shelty  order,  adding,  '  Gentlemen,  ye  shall  no 
be  disappointed,  for  we'll  gang  to  the  hill  and  catch  the 
shelties.'  It  may  be  interesting  for  some  of  our  Brigh 
ton  friends  who  follow  the  harriers  or  hired  nags  to  know 
— in  case  my  meagre  description  may  induce  them  to  think 
of  a  £  tallyho '  across  Shetland — that  our  Nimrodian  party 
were  mounted  at  an  expense  of  Is.  6d.  each.  Our  French 
companion,  a  compact,  well-built  little  fellow,  5  ft.  6  in.  in 
height,  and  about  five  times  that  in  years,  proved  to  be  a 
very  intelligent  and  agreeable  person,  and  a  great  acqui 
sition  to  us.  He  had  travelled  much,  spoke  English  tol 
erably,  but  was  far  from  au  fait  in  Scotch.  He,  however, 
gathered  sufficient  from  our  conversation  to  know  what  our 
plans  were.  '  Vat,'  said  he,  '  are  ve  to  catch  de  vild  oss 
on  de  montagne  ? '  On  learning  this  was  resolved  upon, 
he  began  to  jump  and  skip  about  in  the  street  like  a  Merry 
Andrew,  to  the  no  small  astonishment  of  Her  Majesty's 
quiet  and  orderly  lieges.  '  Oh,  capital !  excellent !  le  dia- 
ble !  catch  de  vild  chevaux,  de  vild  oss — I  mean  de  vild 
7<oss.'  '  No,'  I  said,  '  ponies.'  '  Oui,  certain,  vild  ponneys, 
14 


314  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

I  meaned  all  de  time  vild  ponneys.'  After  we  had  some 
what  tamed  our  French  friend,  our  next  object  was  to  scale 
the  montagne,  to  ascertain  the  tameness  of  the  ponies. 
For  this  purpose  we  got  some  youngsters  to  assist  in  form 
ing  a  cordon,  and  we  soon  captured  as  many  as  our  party 
required.  When  the  bridling  and  saddling  had  commenced, 
I  observed  at  this  particular  juncture  that  our  French 
friend  was  no  longer  so  vivacious  and  active  as  the  resi 
dents  of  Lerwick  had  so  recently  witnessed,  but  was  ab 
sorbed  in  reflection,  and  altogether  lost  to  the  otherwise 
animated  scene  around  him.  I  felt  anxious  to  know  the 
cause  of  this  sudden  change  from  gay  to  grave.  I  there 
fore  roused  my  friend  from  his  reverie  by  calling  out, 
'  Monsieur,  montez,  montez.'  *  Oui,  oui,  monsieur,'  at  the 
same  time  approaching  me  with  the  expression  on  his  coun 
tenance  of  one  who,  heavy  at  heart,  was  suddenly  relieved 
by  the  opportunity  afforded  of  disburdening  his  mind  of  a 
heavy  load,  he  thus  addressed  me :  *  C'est  de  fait  is  mon 
cher  friend,  I  vas  nevare  a  cheval  in  tout  mon  life ;  dat  is, 
I  nevare  have  ride  de  oss  or  de  ponny,  nevare.'  *  This, 
indeed,'  said  I,  'is  an  important  discovery,  and  we  must 
therefore  ride  at  a  moderate  pace,  and  select  a  quiet  animal 
for  you.'  As  I  had  been  made  a  confidant  in  his  dilemma, 
he  asked  me  if  I  did  not  think,  as  he  was  active  and  excelled 
in  gymnastics,  that  in  case  of  the  little  Shetlander  proving 
obstreperous  and  likely  to  make  a  field-officer  of  him,  he 
might  not  be  able  to  throw  himself  off  and  secure  a  safe 
retreat  from  the  heels  of  his  Bucephalus ;  and  before  mount 
ing,  by  way  of  giving  me  the  opportunity  of  judging  of  his 
gymnastic  qualifications,  he  made  several  hand-over-head 
turns  or  somersaults  on  the  rugged  hill,  during  which  I 
feared  he  would  perpetrate  on  himself  infinitely  more  in 
jury  than  the  poor  pony  would  inflict,  even  if  so  inclined. 
We  got  our  friend  mounted,  and  with  the  aid  of  the  mane, 
the  pommel  of  the  saddle,  and  his  legs,  which  alternately 


AN   EXCURSION   TO   ORKNEY  AND   SHETLAND.        315 

touched  the  ground  and  thus  restored  the  equilibrium,  he 
managed  his  steed  wonderfully  well,  so  long  as  we  kept  to 
the  mountain-road ;  indeed,  he  became  gradually  so  bold  as 
to  be  able  occasionally  to  get  abreast  of  the  party,  lisp  out 
an  observation,  and  venture  a  squint  to  the  right  and  left 
in  search  of  the  picturesque.  We  were  now  approaching 
Scalloway  Bay,  with  its  ancient  castle,  when  we  were  met 
by  a  party  of  eight  or  ten  men,  whose  appearance  created 
some  little  hesitation  among  us.  One  had  a  musket,  and 
the  others  had  knives  d  VUlspac/nol.  Our  guide  was  more 
at  a  loss  than  ourselves.  I  recollect,  speaking  for  myself, 
that  I  experienced  for  the  moment  some  heart-twinges  and 
awkward  misgivings,  forgetting  I  was  at  home,  in  meeting 
these  peaceful  brigands  as  they  proved  to  be,  as  a  few 
months  before  I  had  been  an  equestrian  tourist  in  the 
south  of  Spain  during  the  Christina  and  Carlist  War.  They 
were  the  crew  of  a  Spanish  vessel  lying  in  Scalloway  Bay, 
taking  in  a  cargo  of  fish,  and  evidently  themselves  alarmists 
from  the  mere  fact  of  exhibiting  their  weapons  to  Her 
Majesty's  most  quiet  and  docile  subjects  of  the  Islands  of 
Zetland,  who  are  unaccustomed  to  such  warlike,  displays 
amid  their  tranquil  homes. 

"  Our  guide  now  inquired  whether  we  should  prefer  re 
turning  to  Lerwick  by  the  same  route,  or  across  the  moor. 
The  latter  was  adopted,  and  by  no  one  more  heartily  support 
ed  than  our  by  French  friend,  who  had  entirely  overlooked 
one  circumstance,  that  a  fresh  set  of  equestrian  tactics  would 
be  required,  for  we  were  to  have  a  new  sample,  and,  as  it 
turned  out,  a  most  amusing  one  of  a  steeple-chase,  with  this 
exception,  that  we  were  about  to  exchange  fences  and  gates 
for  ditches  and  moss-hags.  Monsieur,  who  had  so  warmly 
sanctioned  the  new  route,  had  not  bargained  for  leaps,  and 
never  shall  I  forget  the  scene  of  merriment  which  his  first 
Meltonian  essay  created.  The  guide  was  anxious  to  get  us 
across  the  moor  before  a  dense  fog  reached  us,  which  he 


316  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

discovered  fast  approaching,  and,  therefore,  had  to  request 
mounseer  to  take  his  leaps  more  expeditiously  than  he  ex 
actly  relished.  Monsieur  retained  his  temper  tolerably, 
although  rarely  his  seat,  until  his  little  gallant  steed  had 
cleared  the  ditch,  when  he  instantly  opened  a  battery,  half 
French,  half  English,  upon  the  unfortunate  guide  for  his 
apparently  uncalled-for  haste,  and  had  it  not  been  for  our 
interposition  we  should  have  had  the  attractions  of  the 
hunting-field  merged  in  the  horrors  of  the  prize-ring  between 
the  .Gaul  and  the  Shetlander.  I  only  wish  I  had  the  de 
scriptive  pen  of  Scott,  or  the  pencil  of  Cruikshank  or  A. 
Crowquill,  to  set  before  you  a  representation  of  what  passed. 
The  guide  pleaded  the  necessity  of  dispatch,  on  account  of 
the  fog,  and  the  danger  that  threatened  us  if  we  were  over 
taken  by  it,  as  well  as  the  distance  we  had  still  to  accom 
plish  ;  he  likewise  pleaded  the  dinner-hour,  keeping  the  rest 
of  the  party  waiting,  etc.  All  these  were  trifling  reasons 

to  urge  in  monsieur's  opinion.     He  d d '  de  fog,  de  guide, 

de  distance  from  home,  de  dinner-hour,  and  de  bagatelle 
nonsens  of  de  keeping  de  partie  vaiting.'  We  at  last 
reached  Lerwick,  in  pretty  fair  time  for  dinner,  and  after 
many  a  hearty  laugh,  in  which  monsieur  joined,  and — 

"  Riding  our  steeple-chase  o'er  again, 
Retired,  fatigued  and  soberly,  at  ten." 

The  following  morning  we  were  up  betimes,  made  our 
purchases  of  Shetland  hosiery,  visited  a  Greenlander  just 
arrived  from  the  Northern  seas,  found  her  a  full  ship,  and 
inspected  her  minutely — this  by  way  of  making  up  for  our 
disappointment  in  missing  the  sea-fight  two  days  previous 
at  Orkney,  when  the  capture  of  a  large  number  of  young 
whales  took  place. 

"  After  a  substantial  Scotch  breakfast,  we  resolved  to 
visit  Brassey  and  the  far-famed  Noss.  The  Holme  of  Noss 
and  the  celebrated  cradle  are  well  worthy  the  attention  of 


AN  EXCURSION   TO   ORKNEY  AND   SHETLAND.        317 

the  Northern  traveller.  The  distance  across  the  strait  ap 
peared  to  be  about  sixty  yards ;  the  perpendicular  height 
of  the  cliffs  on  either  side  from  400  to  500  feet.  The  cradle, 
by  which  the  adventurous  fowler  crosses  the  terrific  gulf, 
works  on  parallel  ropes.  It  is,  at  first  sight,  most  trying  to 
the  nerves,  and  requires  no  little  persuasion  ere  you  rally 
courage  sufficient  to  intrust  yourself  to  such  an  apparently 
crazy  machine.  Great  caution  must  be  observed  while  get 
ting  in  and  out  of  the  cradle,  and  that  it  is  held  steady.  One 
of  the  party  (the  writer)  had,  during  the  excursion  across 
from  Lerwick,  mentioned  a  rather  hazardous  adventure  in 
which  he  and  a  friend  had  been  engaged  in  Italy  the  pre 
vious  year.  On  reaching  the  cradle  it  was  quietly  agreed 
that  the  Anglo-Italian  traveller,  who  was  a  short  distance 
behind,  should  now  have  the  post  of  honor  assigned  to  him. 
This  by  way  of  testing  his  tale.  Luckily  for  him,  he  over 
heard  the  conversation,  bit  his  lip,  screwed  up  his  courage, 
and  rejoined  the  party.  *  Do  you  intend  to  cross  ? '  said 
one.  '  I  don't,'  said  another.  '  Nor  do  I,'  said  a  third,  and 
so  on ;  and  most  probably  I  should,  as  the  narrator  of  the 
Italian  incident,  have  been  among  the  noes,  but  for  the  ob 
servations  that  had  reached  my  ears  a  few  minutes  before. 
The  cradle  floating  in  ether,  at  the  height  of  St.  Paul's,  if 
not  of  St.  Peter's,  was  far  from  encouraging ;  but  the  Rubi 
con  had  been  crossed,  and  the  JVbss  had  to  be  crossed. 
The  boatmen  were,  therefore,  instructed  to  prepare  the 
cradle,  while  I  prepared  myself  for  the  honor  of  taking  my 
seat.  I  am  quite  sure,  if  there  was  as  much  trepidation  in 
taking  a  seat  in  St.  Stephen's,  there  would  be  fewer  can 
didates  for  Parliamentary  distinction.  You  are  obliged  to 
crawl  to  the  brink  of  the  precipice,  and  let  yourself  drop 
into  the  cradle  amid  the  innumerable  fear-creating  cautions 
of  the  boatmen,  such  as,  'Noo,  sir,  turn  your  back;  noo 
your  face ;  hauld  firm.  You  had  better  shut  you  een.  Are 
you  weel  seated  ?  Be  ready,  as  we  are  aboot  to  let  you 


318  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

off,'  and  so  forth.  To  increase  the  awe  and  sublimity  of  the 
scene,  you  have  the  waves  dashing  against  the  rocks  in  the 
gulf  beneath,  the  wind  howling  through  the  strait,  the  sea- 
fowl  screeching,  and  a  wide  expanse  of  ocean  before  you. 
All  this,  added  to  the  appearance  of  your  humble  servant, 
their  Anglo-Italian  companion,  dangling  midway,  had  lulled 
into  calm  the  noisy  facetiousness  of  the  party.  Three  out 
of  twelve  only  ventured  to  cross,  but  110  persuasion  could 
prevail  upon  our  Gallic  friend  to  try  this  second  mode  of 
Shetland  travelling.  He  expressed  himself  by  no  means 
alarmed,  but  his  stomac  vas  so  delicat,  and  he  had  already, 
oh  yase,  crossed  vone  suspension  bridge  at  Bristole,  six 
weeks  before,  yase  at  J3ristole,  vich  vas  veri  terrible,  still  he 
moch  preferred  it  to  the  cradle  of  JVbss. 

"  We  returned  to  Lerwick  delighted  with  this  and  our 
former  day's  excursion,  partook  again  of  our  kind  friend's 
hospitality,  and  at  7  P.  M.  we  were  off  on  our  return  to 
Orkney  and  Leith." 

P.  S. — In  his  "  Statistical  Account  of  the  British  Em 
pire,"  Mr.  M'Culloch  states  that  the  stock  of  shelties  bred 
in  Shetland  is  estimated  at  ten  or  twelve  thousand.  They 
are  never  housed,  nor  receive  any  food  except  what  they 
gather  for  themselves.  Some  of  them  are  exceedingly  well- 
proportioned,  active,  and  strong  of  their  age.  The  horses 
of  Orkney  are  held  in  inferior  estimation. 

125.    Colonel  /Sir  Thomas  MitcheWs  First  Visit  to 
Granada. 

There  are  some  features  of  the  journey  from  Malaga  to 
Granada  now  avoided  by  the  railway  traveller,  but  which, 
in  my  case,  as  a  tourist  by  public  highway,  created  feel 
ings  not  of  the  most  comfortable  or  encouraging  character 
in  commencing  an  otherwise  most  interesting  ride  of  two 
days  from  the  coast. 


COL.   MITCHELL'S  FIRST   VISIT   TO   GRANADA.        319 

I  observed  by  the  road,  at  a  short  distance  from  Malaga, 
a  wayside  cross.  On  my  asking  my  guide  for  an  explana 
tion  of  its  erection,  he  reluctantly  confessed  it  was  the  spot 
where  a  robbery  and  murder  had  taken  place.  My  eyes, 
henceforth,  were  on  the  alert  for  crosses;  and,  before  we 
had  reached  the  City  of  the  Moors,  I  had  counted  sixteen, 
which  my  Spaniard  was  obliged  to  acknowledge  were  spots 
where  some  unfortunate  traveller  or  travellers  had  been 
assassinated^ 

My  friend,  Colonel  Sir  Thomas  Mitchell,  the  Surveyor- 
General  of  Australia,  had  arrived  in  London  from  the  colo 
ny  on  leave,  and  I  had  asked  some  friends  to  meet  him  at 
our  house  at  dinner.  He  knew  Spain  well,  with  the  ex 
ception  of  Granada,  having  served  under  the  Great  Duke 
during  the  Peninsular  War.  Subsequently,  at  the  Duke 
of  Wellington's  suggestion,  being  an  able  draughtsman, 
he  visited  the  different  battle-fields  of  the  Peninsula,  and 
made  sketches.  In  the  course  of  conversation,  and  without 
alluding  to  the  crosses,  I  mentioned  having  visited  the  an 
cient  Mussulman  city  of  Granada;  and  he  jocularly  re 
marked,  that  as  at  that  time  he  had  penetrated  farther  into 
the  interior  of  New  Holland  than  any  other  man,  it  was  a 
shame  to  have  neglected  to  reach  the  Sierra  Nevada  when 
he  had  formerly  visited  Spain.  As  private  affairs  required 
his  going  out  to  Portugal  next  month,  he  added  that  he 
would  take  that  opportunity  of  making  a  hurried  excursion 
to  Granada.  This  intention  he  carried  out,  and,  on  his  re 
turn,  when  dining  with  us,  he  said  to  my  W7ife,  "  Your  hus 
band  let  me  into  a  good  thing  by  his  description  of  the  Al- 
hambra  and  Vega  of  Granada  when  I  last  dined  with  you." 
I  begged  the  great  explorer  to  explain  what  he  meant. 
"  I  was  a  passenger  by  the  diligence  on  my  way  back  to 
Malaga  from  Granada,  when  the  other  passengers,  with 
myself,  were  hurriedly  aroused  about  midnight  by  finding 
our  carriage  stopped  and  surrounded  by  armed  men,  who 


320  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

ordered  us  all  to  alight.  Being  a  Spanish  scholar,  I  de 
manded  to  know  what  it  all  meant.  The  only  answer  I  got 
was  a  pistol  being  pointed  at  my  breast,  and  a  command 
instantly  to  lie  down  on  my  face.  I "  (continued  the  gallant 
knight)  "  who  never  turned  my  back  on  an  enemy  in  Spain, 

or  anywhere  else,  to  be  told  by  a bandit  to  lie  down 

with  my  face  toward  a  confounded  dusty  Spanish  road,  was 
beyond  all  bearing.  I  was  on  the  point  of  telling  the 
scoundrel  that  I  would  see  him  first  in  the  regions  of  Pluto, 
when  a  fellow-traveller  most  earnestly  implored  me  to  do 
what  I  was  desired,  as  otherwise  my  brains  would  be  blown 
out  in  a  moment.  I  had,  therefore,  no  time  to  make  a  pro 
test  with  such  a  villain,  and  down  I  went  with  my  face  in 
the  ignoble  dust." 

The  distinguished  Surveyor-General's  last  remark  made 
all  my  friends  laugh  heartily.  "  Thank  goodness,  my  cir 
cular  notes  so  far  saved  me,  as  all  the  rascals  got  out  of  me 
was  eight  pounds  and  a  few  shillings,  and  which  "  (address 
ing  me)  "  I  think  you  should  recoup,  for,  had  it  not  been  for 
your  florid  description  of  the  Moorish  city,  the  money 
would  now  be  in  my  pocket."  The  gallant  knight  would 
not  let  me  alone  :  "  Why,  sir,  you  must  be  a  descendant  of 
Don  Quixote,  to  have  gone  upon  your  travels  in  Spain  with 
a  civil  war  raging.  I  heard  the  story  of  you  at  Valencia." 
It  was  simply  that  I  delivered  a  letter  of  introduction  I  had 
from  the  Foreign  Office  to  Colonel  (afterward  General) 
Lacy,  the  British  Commissioner  in  the  South  of  Spain.  I 
had  partaken  of  the  most  delicious  breakfast  I  had  seen  in 
Spain  or  anywhere  else,  with  the  Colonel,  in  the  palatial 
residence  of  some  distinguished  absentee  Spanish  notable, 
and  afterward  accompanied  him  to  visit  the  citadel  and 
public  buildings.  I  promised  to  dine  with  the  British  Com 
missioner,  when  I  recollected  that  I  had  engaged  a  carriage 
to  carry  me  out  to  the  headquarters  of  the  Army  of  the 
South,  to  deliver  a  letter  of  introduction  to  General  Borso. 


WHO   IS  A   GOOD   ABSENTEE   LANDLORD?  321 

The  Commissioner  laughed  heartily  at  this,  and  the  first 
thing  he  did  was  to  take  me  to  the  top  of  one  of  the 
churches.  "  There,"  he  said,  "  is  General  Borso,  and  be 
tween  him  and  Valencia  are  7,000  Carlists  "  (pointing  out 
the  camp),  "  so  that  in  twenty  minutes  after  leaving  the  gate 
of  the  city,  you  are  a  prisoner,  and  it  may  occupy  me  six 
months  in  negotiation  before  you  are  released.  Boyd 
is,"  he  continued,  "a  name — after  what  occurred  some 
years  back  at  Malaga — the  most  dangerous  a  man  can 
travel  with  in  Spain."  General  Lacy,  in  after-years,  often 
laughed  at  my  narrow  escape. 

126.    Who  is  a  Good  Absentee  Landlord?   El  SenorDuca 
de  Ciudad  Rodrigo,  etc.,  etc. 

I  very  much  regretted  that,  while  in  Granada,  I  lost  the 
opportunity  offered  me  of  spending  a  long  day  on  the  great 
estate  of  the  Duke  of  Ciudad  Rodrigo,  but  was  obliged  to 
be  content  with  a  bird's-eye  view  of  it.  At  the  hotel  there 
I  met  a  gentleman  who  wished  me  to  accompany  him  to 
Molino  del  Rey,  to  be  introduced  to  the  Duke's  agent,  at 
that  time  a  retired  British  officer.  I  believe  the  agent 
or  agents  of  the  estate  are  still  English. 

The  Duke  of  "Wellington,  as  we  know,  at  the  conclusion 
of  the  Peninsular  War,  was  created  Duke  of  Ciudad  Rodri 
go,  and  had  presented  to  him  by  the  Spanish  nation  the 
royal  estate  of  Soto  de  Roma  and  Molino  del  Rey,  said  to 
be  8,000  or  9,000  acres  in  extent.  The  income  at  the  time 
I  speak  of  (1839)  was  stated  to  me  not  to  exceed  £3,000  to 
£4,000  a  year,  but  the  estate  possessed  capabilities  that 
might,  at  no  distant  day,  bring  it  up  to  four  times  that 
amount.  Its  position  is  one  of  the  most  beautiful  that  can 
be  conceived  in  the  province  of  Granada,  as  from  it  can  be 
seen  the  Alhambra,  with  the  churches  and  high  buildings 
of  the  city.  The  view  of  the  ridge  of  the  Sierra  Nevada  is 


322  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

magnificent.  I  was  altogether  unprepared  to  find  that  at 
the  end  of  May  many  of  the  peaks  and  chasms  of  the  Sier 
ra  were  still  clad  in  snow. 

Between  the  two  divisions  of  the  estate — that  is,  from 
La  Torre  and  La  Casa  Real — the  distance  is  not  less  than 
five  miles.  A  writer  thus  describes  it :  "  Of  the  situation 
of  La  Torre  it  is  impossible  to  speak  with  sufficient  rapture. 
Granada  is,  in  point  of  beauty,  the  most  precious  jewel  in 
the  Spanish  diadem,  and  La  Torre  is,  perhaps,  the  very 
spot  in  the  whole  region  from  which  the  unequalled  loveli 
ness  of  mountain  and  plain  can  best  be  taken  in  at  one 
glance.  Granada,  the  Alhambra,  and  the  Sierra,  rise  almost 
due  east  before  us  across  the  plain  like  a  mirror.  Close  in 
our  rear  is  the  bare  and  bleak  ridge  of  Parapanda,  screen 
ing  us  from  the  north  and  east ;  and  all  around,  in  sublime 
undulation,  spread  the  broad  acres  of  the  Duke's  domain, 
old  groves  and  new  vineyards  sloping  down  to  the  rich 
alluvial  flats  of  the  Vega." 

This  estate  had  passed  through  the  hands  of  Richard 
Wall,  the  Irish  minister  of  Charles  III.  of  Spain,  of  Godoy 
(the  Prince  of  Peace),  and  of  King  Joseph  Bonaparte. 
Since  1864,  under  the  auspices  of  Don  Horacio,  an  English 
gentleman,  dwelling  and  farm  houses  have  been  erected, 
and,  under  the  authority  of  the  present  Duke,  report  says  a 
wilderness  is  being  converted  which  is  capable  of  produ 
cing  £10,000  a  year.  The  duke  has  authorized  Don  Horacio 
to  repair  the  house  and  premises  of  Molino  del  Rey,  as 
well  as  the  mansion  of  Casa  Real  and  other  buildings,  and  is 
about  to  erect  at  La  Torre  a  villa  which  may  yet  become  a 
ducal  residence,  should  His  Grace  visit  his  Spanish  estates. 

It  is  said  that  a  bodega  or  wine-cellar  is  being  planned, 
capable  of  containing  1,200  butts ;  the  largest,  at  Jerez, 
only  contains  3,000  butts.  Don  Horacio  has  imported  vines 
from  Montilla,  from  Moriles,  from  Johannisberg,  from  Pau- 
illac,  near  Bordeaux,  from  even  Hebron,  in  the  valley  of 


A   SHEEP-STEALER  ASTONISHED.  323 

Eschol  in  Palestine.  The  writer  in  question  says,  that  the 
Duke's  wine,  only  two  years  old,  which  he  tasted,  proved 
to  be  exquisite  in  flavor,  and  is  kept  thoroughly  free  from 
alcoholic  admixture. 

Round  the  hill  of  La  Torre  is  now  being  carried  a  vine 
yard  which,  when  complete,  will  cover  a  large  space  of 
ground.  Soto  de  Roma  is  situated  in  the  plain,  and  is  a 
large  cornfield.  It  is  believed  that  the  duke  takes  much 
interest  in  his  Spanish  possessions,  and  is  desirous  of  im 
proving  them,  chiefly  with  a  view  to  ameliorate  the  con 
dition  of  the  people  by  affording  them  well-remunerated 
employment.  It  was  with  this  view  that  Don  Horacio  was 
authorized  four  years  ago  to  plant  vineyards  on  an  estate 
not  hitherto  made  to  yield  a  single  bunch  of  grapes.  Ex 
tensive  works,  both  as  a  builder  and  an  agriculturist,  I  am 
told,  now  afford  evidence  that  the  noble  owner  of  Strath- 
feldsaye,  although  an  absentee  proprietor  of  Granada,  is 
working  out  a  great  problem  in  that  province.  It  is  said 
that,  under  the  Duke's  instructions,  the  agent,  during  a 
recent  winter,  when  famine  ravaged  Andalusia,  took  starv 
ing  people  into  his  employ,  occupying  them  in  vine-plant 
ing,  road-making,  land-clearing,  building,  etc.  Therefore, 
I  presume,  all  will  agree  with  me  that  Su  Excelencia  el 
Senor  Duca  de  Ciudad  Rodrigo  is  a  good  landlord,  albeit 
an  absentee. 

127.  A  Sheep- Stealer  astonished. 

We  had  a  hearty  laugh  after  dinner  at  a  ludicrous 
scene  that  had  been  witnessed  that  day  on  the  Oxford 
Circuit.  Mr.  Donald  Maclean,  M.  P.  for  the  city  of  Oxford, 
was  defending  a  prisoner  for  sheep-stealing.  The  learned 
gentleman  had  a  very  difficult  case  to  conduct,  inasmuch 
as  the  prisoner,  who  watched  the  evidence  with  peculiar 
attention,  on  hearing  some  strong  fact  brought  against  him, 
stretched  his  head  toward  his  counsel,  and,  in  an  unmistak- 


324  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

ably  audible  whisper,  said,  "  There  they  goes,  sir  ;  I  knoed 
they  would  kotch  me."  Mr.  Maclean  waved  his  hand  to 
him  to  be  quiet,  but  the  very  next  reply  of  the  witness 
produced  a  repetition  of  the  whisper,  "  There's  no  use,  sir ; 
I  knoed  they  would  kotch  me."  The  prisoner's  attorney 
then  stationed  a  clerk  as  near  him  as  possible  to  keep  him 
silent ;  but  what  he  was  prevented  doing  in  the  way  of 
loud  whispering,  he  made  up  in  contortions  of  the  counte 
nance,  expressive  grimaces,  shaking  the  head,  looking  up 
and  then  down,  every  movement  conveying  the  impression 
to  the  Court  that  his  own  patience  was  exhausted,  and  that 
it  was  all  nonsense  wasting  more  time  in  the  business. 
The  judge  summed  up,  and  the  jury,  after  a  short  consulta 
tion  brought  in  a  verdict  of  "  Not  guilty."  The  prisoner 
did  not  hear  this  distinctly,  and  asked  one  of  the  officers  of 
the  Court  what  the  verdict  was.  He  was  told  that  he  was 
acquitted.  "  Not  guilty,  does  you  mean  to  say  ?  "  "  Yes, 
not  guilty."  "  Veil,  hif  ever ! "  On  leaving  the  court,  he 
was  most  desirous  to  shake  hands  with  Mr.  Maclean,  but 
that  favor  was  not  granted.  He  then  proceeded  to  the 
nearest  public-house,  and  declared  to  some  of  his  friends 
that  Mr.  Maclean  "  vas  the  werry  cleverest  lawrer  hin  the 
ole  hof  Hengland,  hand  advised  Jim,  Bob,  hand  Sam.  never 
to  hemploy  any  other,  hif  they  vished  to  get  hoff." 

128.  IPs  an  ill  Wind  that  blows  Nobody  Good. 

As  a  youth  I  held  thunder-storms  in  high  appreciation : 
possibly  because  the  good  couple  with  whom  another 
youngster  and  myself  boarded  were  frightened  by  them 
almost  into  fits,  and  the  husband  on  such  occasions  made  a 
point  of  going  down  to  the  cellar  for  a  bottle  of  his  old 
port,  and  one  of  his  equally  good  sherry,  which  he  placed 
on  the  tables  with  those  glorious  accompaniments  in  the 
eyes  of  a  schoolboy — Scotch  shortbread  and  bun,  sponge 


BEWARE   OF  AN  AULD  WIFE.  325 

cake,  and  biscuits.  If  we  arrived  from  our  classes  after  the 
storm  commenced — and  we  never  allowed  ourselves  to  be 
long  absentees— we  endeavored  to  look  awfully  grave  on 
entering  the  dining-room  ;  our  host  ^shaking  us  by  the  hand 
very  earnestly,  and  desiring  us,  sotto  voce,  to  help  ourselves 
to  a  glass  of  wine.  After  that,  we  were  always  helping 
ourselves,  as  we  returned  to  no  classes  that  day. 

My  old  friend,  while  on  a  visit  to  England,  had  pur 
chased  a  large  and  elegant  upright  hand-organ.  It  had 
four  barrels,  each  throwing  off  ten  tunes,  so  that  the  mo 
ment  the  lightning  flashed,  and  before  "  Heaven's  artillery 
thundered  in  fhe  skies,"  he  hurried  to  the  organ  and  kept 
grinding  with  all  the  impetuosity  and  courage  he  could 
command,  till  the  storm  was  over.  My  old  friends  were  an 
excellent  couple,  and,  moreover,  serious  people,  although 
it  may  appear  somewhat  paradoxical  to  mention  that  they 
never  went  to  church.  Their  illeeberal  neebors  asserted 
that  their  alarm  at  thunder  was  "  only  a  joodgement  on 
them  for  no'  ganging  to  the  kirk." 

I  lived  three  years  with  the  worthy  couple,  and  had 
I,  as  I  have  often  since  regretted,  kept  a  daily  journal,  I 
should  now  be  able  to  furnish,  as  a  matter  of  statistics, 
the  precise  number  of  "  red-letter "  days  annually  which 
I  enjoyed  in  connection  with  electrical  atmospheric  dis 
turbance,  and  probably  some  other  rather  singular  phe 
nomena.  One  fact  is  fixed  indelibly  on  my  memory,  even 
at  this  distant  day,  that  we  never  by  any  chance — unless 
it  was  furnished  by  our  own  friends — saw  a  glass  of  wine 
on  the  table  or  side-table,  unless  it  was  to  counteract  the 
effects  of  a  thunder-storm. 

129.  Beware  of  an  Auld  Wife. 

The  late  Mr.  Ker,  Secretary  to  the  General  Post-Office 
at  Edinburgh,  a  man  equally  respected  in  public  and  private 
life,  found  he  had  been  twitted  by  an  English  friend  for 


326  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

having  allowed  himself  to  be  knocked  down  by  "  an  auld 
wife,"  and  so  severely  injured  that  it  was  feared  at  first  his 
skull  was  fractured. 

"  I  feel  exceedingly,"  exclaimed  the  Londoner,  "  for  my 
friend  Ker ;  but  how,  in  the  name  of  wonder,  he  could  allow 
any  old  woman  to  knock  him  down  is  to  me  surprising ;  for 
when  he  discovered  that  the  antiquated  Amazon  was  an 
overmatch  for  him,  he  surely  could  call  for  assistance.  That 
would  have  been  infinitely  wiser  than  allowing  the  old 
harridan  to  maul  and  injure  him  as  she  has  done.  Why,  I 
sat  with  him  to-day  for  half  an  hour,  and  am  happy  to  say 
he  is  rapidly  recovering,  but  his  head  and  part  of  his  face 
appeared  one  mass  of  bandages.  I  asked  him  how  it  hap 
pened,  as  I  did  not  believe  what  I  had  heard.  He  con 
fessed  to  me  that  he  had  been  knocked  down  by  '  an  auld 
wife,'  as  he  called  her.  I  did  not  like  to  say  any  thing  to 
him,  but  before  he  leaves  his  room  I  shall  give  him  a  hint 
to  keep  the  affair  to  himself,  as  it  does  not  impress  one 
with  a  very  high  estimate  of  either  Ker's  powers  or  his 
personal  courage,  to  be  vanquished  in  single  combat  by  an 
old  Scotch  woman  in  the  streets  of  the  Modern  Athens." 

The  remarks  of  the  Englishman,  which  he  was  allowed 
to  close  without  interruption,  created  vast  amusement  at 
the  dinner-party  where  they  were  made,  as  "  an  auld  wife  " 
in  Edinburgh  is  also  a  chimney-pot,  one  of  which  during 
a  storm  alighted  on  the  head  of  the  respected  Secretary 
to  His  Majesty's  Post-Office  in  Scotland,  and  nearly  killed 
him.  Thus  much  by  way  of  a  solution  for  my  readers 
south  of  the  Tweed. 

-130.    A  Useful  Flash  of  Lightning. 

Some  twenty  years  ago  I  had  some  friends  occupying 
the  last  house  of  Kensington  Gardens  Terrace,  immediately 
opposite  the  end  of  the  Serpentine. 


»  A   USEFUL   FLASH   OF   LIGHTNING.  327 

I  was  one  day  praising  the  charming  view  which  they 
had  from  their  drawing-room  windows.  "  Yes,  the  view 
would  be  perfect,  if  the  branch  of  that  large  tree,"  to  which 
they  drew  my  attention,  "  did  not  interrupt  it."  "  Well," 
I  remarked,  "  it  is  somewhat  singular  that  I  walked  to  your 
door  with  the  nearest  relative  in  London  of  the  Chief  Com 
missioner  of  "Woods  and  Forests  (the  Right  Honorable 
Mr.  Milne),  and  I  shall  ask  him  to  inquire  whether  the 
branch  can  be  removed  without  injury  to  the  royal  tree." 
I  accordingly  wrote  to  my  friend  in  the  evening  (Tues 
day),  and  on  Thursday  morning  my  friends  discovered  to 
their  infinite  satisfaction,  that  the  obstructive  branch  had 
disappeared ;  and,  as  a  natural  sequence,  I  came  in  for 
a  warm  benediction,  and  the  Woods  and  Forests  for 
their  full  share  of  praise  as  an  exceptional  department  of 
the  State,  where  red  tape  was  not  used,  and  circumlocution 
unknown. 

The  Chief  Commissioner,  on  reading  my  note  to  his 
relative,  gave  orders  on  the  Wednesday  to  the  super 
intendent  of  Kensington  Gardens  to  look  at  the  tree,  and 
if  the  branch  could  be  taken  off  without  serious  prejudice 
it  was  to  be  done.  The  superintendent  reported  at  head 
quarters  on  the  Thursday  that  on  visiting  the  tree  at  an 
early  hour  that  morning  he  found  the  branch  in  question 
lying  on  the  ground,  having  been  struck  off  by  lightning 
during  the  heavy  storm  of  the  previous  night. 

The  Chief  Commissioner  wrote  an  amusing  letter  on 
the  occasion,  alleging  that  I  really  must  be  one  "  who 
could  call  spirits  from  the  vasty  deep,"  and  had  evidently 
transferred  my  powers  to  Kensington  Gardens,  acting  on 
the  suggestion  given  in  Richard  the  Third,  "  With  lightning 
strike  the  murderer  dead." 

The  same  day  I  visited  the  tree,  which  appeared,  sav 
ing  the  amputation  of  the  large  branch,  to  have  escaped 
all  other  injury.  Had  other  trees  not  suffered  severely  in 


328  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS.  s 

Kensington  Gardens  that  night,  it  might  have  led  to  a 
special  inquiry  or  inquest  to  ascertain  whether  it  was  light 
ning  or  a  saw  that  I  had  employed  in  obliging  my  friends. 
I  told  them  they  owed  every  thing  to  the  lightning,  as  I  was 
much  inclined  to  think  that  the  Chief  Commissioner,  with 
every  desire  to  meet  their  wishes,  might  possibly  have 
deemed  it  his  duty  to  postpone  the  consideration  of  the  re 
moval  of  so  large  and  umbrageous  a  branch  from  the  royal 
demesne  to  the  "  Greek  Calends." 

131.  Scotch  Hospitality.- — "  Ex  uno  disce  omnes" 

An  English  friend  who  had  never  been  in  Scotland, 
asked  me  if  it  really  was  the  case  that  so  much  hospitality 
ruled  there,  as  he  had  observed  nothing  remarkable  in  that 
respect  among  my  countrymen  on  this  side  the  Tweed.  I 
told  him  that  I  must  decline  entering  upon  the  discussion 
of  the  question  how  far  the  Scotch  character  degenerated 
in  regard  to  hospitality  after  blending  with  the  natives  of 
the  south,  but  that,  as  he  asked  for  information  on  a  char 
acteristic  on  which  my  nation  justly  prided  itself,  I  was 
prepared  to  answer  him.  He  was  aware,  I  presumed,  that 
Washington  Irving  referred  to  Scotland  when  he  defined 
hospitality  as  "  breaking  through  the  chills  of  ceremony 
and  selfishness,  and  thawing  every  heart  into  a  flow."  He 
might  have  also  heard  that  diffidence  was  a  striking 
feature  with  Scotchmen,  which  I  felt  at  that  moment,  as 
the  illustration  I  was  about  to  give  had  occurred  to  my 
self,  and  from  it  I  should  leave  him  to  draw  his  own  con 
clusions. 

At  the  period  to  which  I  am  about  to  refer,  I  had  been 
a  resident  in  London  for  ten  years,  when  the  directors  of 
one  of  our  oldest  and  most  powerful  Scotch  insurance  com 
panies  consulted  my  late  brother  and  myself  as  to  forming 
a  board  of  directors  and  branch  of  the  company  in  London. 


SCOTCH   HOSPITALITY.  329 

The  preliminary  arrangements  called  me  down  to  Edin 
burgh,  and  occupied  me  there  some  weeks.  When  the 
London  branch  of  the  company  was  formed,  a  deputation 
of  directors  went  from  Scotland  to  London  to  inaugurate 
the  new  establishment,  and  considering  that  a  good  dinner 
was  the  best  mode  of  commencing  business,  they  invited 
the  chairman,  deputy-chairman,  and  directors  of  several  of 
the  London  insurance  companies  to  a  banquet  at  the  Albion, 
covers  being  laid  for  110  guests.  During  the  evening  my 
health  was  proposed  by  the  chairman,  as  the  member  of  the 
London  Board  who  had  gone  to  Scotland  to  mature  the 
arrangements.  In  the  course  of  his  speech,  he  expressed 
his  regret  that  my  visit  should  have  taken  place  at  the  season 
of  the  year  when  they  had  little  opportunity  in  the  northern 
capital  of  showing  me  the  hospitality  they  could  have  other 
wise  wished  to  do.  In  my  reply,  after  disposing  of  the 
business  points,  I  came  to  the  charge  brought  by  the  chair 
man  against  himself  and  colleagues,  and  which  I  hoped  to 
prove  satisfactorily,  before  I  sat  down,  was  entirely  erroneous. 
One  of  our  directors  extraordinary  of  the  insurance  company 
was  that  late  gallant  and  excellent  man,  William,  eighth 
Lord  Napier,  who  was  present,  and  who  was  just  about  to 
proceed  to  China.  I  said  that,  for  the  information  of  my 
English  friends,  I  would  address  myself  to  his  lordship  on 
the  question  of  Scotch  hospitality.  I  then  proceeded  to 
state  that  on  the  occasion  in  question  I  had  remained  in 
Edinburgh  forty-nine  days,  on  forty-eight  of  which  I  went 
to  dinner-parties,  to  say  nothing  of  invitations  which  I  re 
ceived  and  accepted  to  other  kinds  of  entertainment  for 
which  Scotland  is  so  famous,  namely,  her  breakfasts  and 
her  suppers.  I  therefore  left  the  company  to  say  whether 
they  considered  that  I  had  been  neglected.  Moreover,  I 
was  prepared  to  prove  my  case  by  exhibiting  my  hotel  bill, 
which,  had  I  been  in  the  least  aware  such  an  issue  was  to 
be  raised  that  evening,  I  should  have  put  in  my  pocket,  for 


330  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

by  it  it  would  be  seen  that  I  had  dined  at  my  hotel  only 
once,  namel}7,  on  the  day  of  my  arrival.  Next  day  the 
Scotch  hotel  bill  was  placed  in  Lord  Napier's  hands.  He 
was  a  gallant  sailor,  and  at  that  time  a  lord-in-waiting  to 
our  Sailor  King,  and  whether  it  was  exhibited  to  His 
Majesty  to  show  that  he  had  one  of  his  loyal  subjects  who 
could  attend  forty-eight  dinner-parties  on  forty- eight  con 
secutive  days  I  know  not,  but  I  recollect  the  lord  mayor, 
two  of  the  aldermen,  and  one  of  the  sheriffs  were  present, 
who  declared  that  no  members  of  the  Corporation  of  Lon 
don  could  show  front  with  me  as  a  diner-out. 

132.  Not  bad. 

I  recollect  a  humorous  M.  P.  pointing  out  to  me  a  retired 
West  India  judge  not  very  remarkable  for  sagacity  on  the 
bench.  There  was  a  ball  at  Government  House,  and  the 
judge  began  to  criticise  the  waltzing  of  a  witty  member 
of  the  West  India  Bar.  "Ah,  my  friend,  you  are  a  bad 
waltzer !  "  "  Ah,  but  you  are  a  bad  judge." 

133.    One  of  the  "Forty-twa." 

When  I  first  came  to  London  I  met  at  the  house  of  a 
friend,  at  dinner,  a  countryman  of  my  own,  who  had  spent 
thirty  years  or  more  in  the  West  Indies.  Our  host  described 
him  as  one  of  the  forty-twa.  It  appeared  that  about  the 
beginning  of  the  century  forty-two  young  Scotchman  em 
barked  at  Greenock  for  the  West  Indies.  The  ship  dis 
charged  her  cargo  and  loaded  with  sugar,  which  detained 
her  about  six  weeks,  and  returned  to  Greenock,  bringing 
back  the  trunks,  alias  the  Jcists,  of  twenty-seven  of  the 
young  men,  who  had  within  that  short  time  fallen  victims 
to  yellow  fever.  Mentioning  this  circumstance  to  the  late 
General  Frederick  Maitland,  of  Berkeley  Square,  who  had 
served  many  years  in  the  West  Indies,  he  told  me  that  one 


THE  BOMBAY  SERMON.  331 

Saturday  lie  and  seven  brother  officers  sat  down  to  mess, 
and  the  following  Saturday  he  was  the  only  survivor  of  the 
party. 

134.   The  Bombay  Sermon. 

One  3lst  of  March  my  brother  and  myself  found  our 
eyes  directed  to  a  pamphlet  in  a  London  publisher's  win 
dow,  "An  Address  to  Young  People."  Then  came  a  long 
and  appropriate  text,  followed  by  the  author's  name,  "  Wil 
liam  Boyd."  Now,  as  we  had  a  brother  William  in  India, 
and  as  next  day  was  the  1st  of  April,  we  bethought  our 
selves  of  practising  an  innocent  hoax  on  some  friends  of 
ours  in  the  neighborhood  of  London,  with  whom  we  were 
to  pass  the  following  Sunday.  Accordingly,  we  purchased 
the  'Address,"  and  got  our  printer  to  add  our  brother's 
designation  at  full  length : 

"WILLIAM  S.  BOYD, 

"  Political  Commissioner  for  Guzerat,  and  Resident  at  the  Court  of  the 
Guivocar  of  Baroda." 

A  polite  note  had  next  to  be  written  from  the  Chapter 
Coffee-House  to  the  excellent  lady  with  whom  and  whose 
family  we  were  to  spend  the  Sunday,  as  if  from  a  Bombay 
chaplain,  just  arrived  from  India,  who  had  great  pleasure 
in  sending  her  an  early  copy  of  the  able  and  instructive 
"  Address,"  which  he  deemed  it  his  duty  to  have  printed 
immediately  on  his  arrival  in  London,  and  it  was  added  that 
the  reverend  gentleman  on  his  return  from  Devonshire 
would  call  to  pay  his  respects. 

We  were  accompanied  to  our  friend's  house  by  my  father, 
whom  wre  had  not  let  into  the  secret.  One  of  the  first  ques 
tions  on  our  arrival  was,  "  You  have,  of  course,  heard  from 

Bombay?"  "No."  "  Nor  from  the  Reverend  Mr. ?" 

"  No." "  "  All  in  good  time."  "  Ah,"  said  our  hostess,  ad 
dressing  my  father,  "  your  son  is  coming  out  just  now  in  a 


332  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

manner  that  will  delight  you  as  a  parent."  As  we  were  to 
remain  all  night,  nothing  more  was  said  until  the  domestics 
had  assembled  in  the  drawing-room  to  hear  a  sermon  as 
usual,  when  one  of  the  family  circle  said,  "  Let  us  have 
William  Boyd's  '  Address '  or,  more  properly  speaking,  ser 
mon  read."  "  What !  "  exclaimed  my  father,  "  my  son's 
sermon  ?  "  "  Yes,  indeed."  He  instantly  put  on  his  spec 
tacles  under  evidently  strong  feelings  of  excitement,  and 
to  his  horror  read  aloud,  "  An  Address  to  Young  People, 
by  William  S.  Boyd,  Political  Commissioner  for  Guzerat, 
and  Resident  at  the  Court  of  the  Guivocar  of  Baroda." 
"  Too  true,"  adding,  with  a  deep  sigh,  "  he  must  be  mad." 
"  Oh,  Mr.  Boyd,  when  you  have  heard  the  sermon  you  will 
change  your  opinion."  All  this,  though  in  a  subdued  tone, 
was  audible  throughout  the  room.  "  My  son  write  a  ser 
mon  :  what  nonsense  it  must  be  !  "  This  was  the  precise 
estimate  at  which  my  brother  and  myself,  after  perusal,  had 
arrived.  My  father's  was  a  foregone  conclusion,  for  how. 
ever  high  his  opinion  might  be  of  his  son  as  an  Eastern 
diplomatist,  he  had  never  discovered  the  celestial  fire,  that 
mem  divinior  in  him  as  a  youth,  which  the  lady  in  whose 
house  we  were  then  guests  declared  burned  brilliantly. 
After  some  persuasion  my  father  agreed  to  listen  to  his 
son's  sermon.  Unluckily  for  us  all,  it  was  twenty  pages  in 
length,  and  although  beautifully  read  by  one  of  the  yonng 
ladies  of  the  family,  my  father  declared  to  those  on  his 
right  and  left,  in  whispers  sufficiently  audible  for  all,  that 
greater  trash  and  rubbish  he  had  never  listened  to,  and,  to 
the  infinite  surprise  of  the  household,  he  added  that  his  son 
in  India  must  have  become  a  madman. 

The  "  Address  "  being  concluded,  some  one  referred  to 
the  beautiful  text  which  was  frequently  quoted  in  it.  "Yes," 
said  my  father,  "  it  is  the  context,  not  the  text,  that  is  the 
production  of  an  imbecile ;  and  as  to  that  ass  of  a  Bombay 
chaplain,  to  have  published  such  a  tissue  of  nonsense,  he 


THE  SIEGE  OF  ANTWERP,  AND  COL.  CAMPBELL.      333 

deserves  to  have  his  nose  pulled;  and  to-morrow  before 
twelve  o'clock  he  shall  know  my  opinion  of  him.  But  how 
my  son,  living  at  Baroda,  a  remote  station,  and  distant  from 
Bombay,  could  find  young  people  to  address  is  at  present 
inexplicable."  The  ladies,  by  way  of  tranquillizing  my 
father's  mind,  said  that  all  no  doubt  would  be  satisfactorily 
explained  by  next  mail.  To  this  he  observed  that  he  fully 
expected  to  find  that  his  unfortunate  son  would  arrive  by 
next  steamer  at  Southampton  in  charge  of  keepers.  He 
then  hurriedly  wished  the  family  group  good-night,  and 
went  to  his  room  in  a  most  unhappy  condition  of  mind. 
My  brother  and  myself,  fearing  results,  followed  him  and 
explained  the  authorship  of  the  Bombay  sermon ;  and  he 
joined  his  friends  at  breakfast  next  morning  in  spirits  very 
different  from  what  he  had  left  them  the  previous  night. 

135.    The,  Siege  of  Antwerp •,  and  Colonel  Colin 
Campbell  (Lord  Clyde). 

The  affecting  incident  recorded  in  these  pages  of  Mr. 
Fitzgerald's  journey  from  Brussels  to  Waterloo,  accompa 
nied  by  his  aunt,  to  search  among  the  slain  for  the  body 
of  her  husband,  reminds  me  of  a  melancholy  and  exciting 
journey  I  made  with  a  friend  to  the  siege  of  Antwerp. 
Within  five  miles  of  the  Brussels  gate  we  first  heard  the 
boom  of  artillery,  and  throughout  the  journey,  which  is 
under  thirty  miles,  we  were  constantly  meeting  military 
ambulances  with  wounded  soldiers. 

To  one  who  was  witnessing  for  the  first  time  the  horrid 
results  of  the  "  rough  frown  of  war,"  nothing  could  be  more 
impressive  or  more  painful.  Every  portion  of  the  Brussels 
road  from  Vilvorde  was  a  scene  not  to  be  easily  forgotten 
— straggling  soldiers,  provision-carts,  ammunition-wagons, 
groups  of  cavalry  billeted  in  every  village,  spring  wagons 
en  route  to  Brussels  with  four  or  five  wounded  men  in  each, 
and  regiments  of  infantry  moving  to  the  scene,  etc. 


334  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

We  were  too  late  for  the  fall  of  Fort  St.  Laurent,  but 
not  for  that  of  Fort  Kiel,  which  was  blown  up  the  night  of 
our  arrival.  My  old  friend  Colonel  Colin  Campbell,  who  had 
been  in  Antwerp  from  the  commencement  of  the  siege, 
received  my  friend  and  myself  most  kindly.  It  was  inter 
esting  for  us,  as  non-combatants,  to  hear  so  distinguished 
and  intelligent  an  officer  who  had  won  his  spurs  nineteen 
years  before  (in  1813)  under  the  walls  of  St.  Sebastian,  where 
he  was  twice  wounded,  talking  over,  with  other  members  of 
his  profession,  the  prospects  of  the  siege  in  a  manner  not  at 
all  unlike  what  some  of  us  had  been  accustomed  to  on  the 
London  Exchange  when  a  Baring  might  be  discussing  the 
prospects  of  the  produce-market,  or  a  Rothschild  those  of 
the  stock-market.  I  recollect  the  future  field-marshal  telling 
us,  in  language  clear  and  full  of  energy, "  The  work  will  soon 
be  done  ;  the  siege  is  becoming  more  and  more  interesting 
every  hour,  and  you  have  arrived  just  at  the  right  time."  My 
gallant  friend  having  now  discovered  that  my  companion, 
who — though,  like  myself,  a  civilian — was  possessed  of 
strong  military  tastes,  went  on  to  describe  to  us  as  if  we  had 
been  young  officers  of  artillery  that  "  the  workings  from  the 
distant  parallels  were  necessarily  less  precise  than  from  the 
third  parallel  (where  the  French  then  were,  the  attacking 
party),  and  that  the  batteries  against  Fort  de  S6cours 
would  open  next  day,  which  could  be  safely  done,  now  that 
Fort  St.  Laurent  had  been  silenced  ;  that  General  Gerard 
(the  French  commander-in-chief)  had  determined  to  take 
the  citadel  without  using  any  other  works  near  the  town 
other  than  Montobello,  so  that  Antwerp  was  perfectly  safe, 
except  from  stray  shot  and  shell."  I  recollect  the  morning 
after  our  arrival  his  pointing  out  to  me  le  Due  d'Orleans  and 
his  brother  le  Due  de  Nemours,  who  daily  went  into  the 
trenches  for  several  hours.  Their  case  appeared  to  me  one 
of  great  hardship,  as  they  seemed  to  be  expected  to  look 
cannon-balls  in  the  face  more  frequently  than  any  other  sol- 


THE  SIEGE  OF  ANTWERP,  AND  COL.  CAMPBELL.      335 

diers  in  King  Louis  Philippe's  army.  The  conduct  and 
devotion  of  those  royal  youths  secured  much  admiration  on 
all  hands  throughout  the  progress  of  the  siege.  King  Leo 
pold  arrived  from  Brussels  one  afternoon,  and  next  morning 
when  I  saw  him  I  should  have  much  liked  to  know  how 
His  Majesty  slept,  for  the  Dutch  and  French  batteries  kept 
up  such  a  fire  during  the  night  that  I  could  not  close  my 
eyes,  and  the  king  was  in  our  street;  therefore,  unless 
royalty  is  exempted  under  such  circumstances,  his  slumbers 
must  have  been  greatly  disturbed. 

Having  for  years  been  in  the  habit  of  meeting  Colin 
Campbell  at  the  dinner-table  in  town,  and  of  listening  to 
his  interesting  details  of  the  Napoleonic  war  in  Spain  and 
Portugal,  in  which  he  shared,  my  feelings  are  not  easily 
described  in  finding  myself  within  forty-eight  hours  of  leav 
ing  home  the  companion  of  that  brilliant  soldier,  and  lis 
tening  to  his  minute  explanations  of  siege  operations  ;  with 
reference  to  which  he  wrould  say,  "  Mind  you,  we  have  been 
at  peace  for  seventeen  years,  and  the  advance  of  science  in 
the  mean  time  has  put  artillery  on  a  very  different  footing 
from  what  it  was  in  my  early  days  at  Badajoz,  Ciudad 
Rodrigo,  and  St.  Sebastian." 

My  friend  and  myself  devoted  one  afternoon  to  a  visit 
to  the  camp  of  the  7th  Regiment  of  French  Infantry,  in 
which  there  was  an  officer,  a  friend  of  my  father's,  who 
had  been  a  prisoner  of  war  in  Scotland  prior  to  Waterloo. 
The  camp  was  posted  in  the  park  of  an  Antwerp  merchant, 
whose  forefather  had  amassed  wealth  when  his  city,  like 
Bruges,  was  one  of  the  depots  of  the  commerce  of  the 
world.  The  entrance  to  it  was  the  road-way  of  what  had 
been  a  splendid  avenue,  with  Gothic  temples  and  veran 
das,  but  its  sylvan  beauty  was  gone,  its  fine  timber  cut 
down  for  firewood  for  the  troops,  and  scarcely  a  tree  left : 
never  was  such  desolation,  giving  one  more  than  a  faint 
idea  of  the  horrors  of  war.  We  found  the  gallant  French 


336  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

veteran  who  had  commenced  his  military  career  at  Auster- 
litz.  He  had  many  questions  to  ask  me  on  family  matters, 
after  which  he  alluded  to  what  appeared  to  him  inexpli 
cable,  that  two  sane  Englishmen,  unconnected  with  mili 
tary  life,  should  come  as  amateurs  to  witness  the  sorrowful 
realities  of  war. 

Colonel  Campbell,  who  was  au  courant  as  to  what  was 
passing  at  the  French  headquarters,  being  in  the  same 
hotel,  came  to  our  room  in  the  evening  to  inform  us  that 
next  day  the  largest  mortar  ever  cast,  a  108-pounder,  would 
be  fired  against  the  citadel.  What  would  they  say  now  at 
Shoeburyness  to  a  108-lb.  shot  ? 

The  colonel  seemed  to  me  to  have  his  doubts  as  to  so 
large  a  gun  being  successful.  I  think  only  eight  shots 
were  fired  from  this,  the  famous  "  monstre  mortier  d'An- 
vers."  My  companion's  military  appetite  having  been, 
with  my  own,  sharpened  to  a  high  point,  we  made  up  our 
minds  to  visit  the  trenches,  and  the  breaching  battery,  now 
in  full  operation,  at  the  distance  of  forty-five  yards,  against 
the  citadel  in  which  the  brave  Chass6  and  his  devoted  gar 
rison  had  been  defending  themselves  for  six  weeks.  As 
this  could  not  be  done  unless  we  appeared  in  uniform,  we 
applied  to  our  friend  the  colonel,  who  rated  us  both  well 
for  our  stupidity  in  not  bringing  a  military  dress  of  some 
sort,  even,  as  he  said,  had  we  gone  to  Seven  Dials  orHouns- 
ditch  for  it.  Then,  addressing  me,  "  Why  did  you  not  bring 
your  Scotch  dress  with  you  ?  It  would  have  done  as  well  to 
be  shot  in  as  any  thing  else."  My  friend,  though  a  lawyer, 
was  too  young  to  have  belonged  to  the  "  Devil's  Own,"  that 
famous  corps  so  felicitously  described  by  Lord-Chancellor 
Campbell,  and  which,  when  formed  at  the  commencement 
of  the  century,  struck  such  terror  into  the  breast  of  even  the 
great  Napoleon.  The  obliging  colonel  procured  us  uniforms, 
and  after  his  servant  had  brought  them,  he  paid  us  a  visit  and 
said,  "  Here  they  are  for  you,  but  recollect  I  take  no  fur- 


THE  SIEGE  OF  ANTWERP,  AND  COL.  CAMPBELL.      33 '/ 

ther  responsibility."  Next  morning,  the  breach  being 
practicable,  Chasse"  gave  in,  so  as  to  save  the  bombardment 
and  assault.  It  was  about  seven  o'clock  (Christmas  morn 
ing,  I  think)  when  Colin  Campbell  rushed  into  our  room 
and  announced  the  fact.  He  found  me  in  my  red  coat,  the 
first  I  had  ever  worn.  "  Your  incipient  heroism,"  said  he, 
"  is  checked ;  and  now  to  breakfast  with  what  appetite 
you  have." 

We  devoted  the  whole  of  that  day  to  passing  and  re- 
passing  through  the  labyrinth  of  parallels,  examining  the 
different  French  batteries  up  to  the  breach  in  the  wall 
of  the  citadel,  where  we  found  the  fascines  placed  across 
the  ditch  all  ready  for  the  grand  rush  of  the  French,  had 
Chasse"  offered  further  resistance.  Such  a  scene  of  wreck 
and  devastation  as  that  which  presented  itself  was  difficult 
to  realize ;  cannon-shot,  exploded  and  non-exploded  shells, 
lying  in  all  directions,  and  the  beautiful  suburban  villa 
residences  of  Antwerp  merchants  and  citizens,  within  the 
radius  of  the  Dutch  batteries,  either  wholly  or  partially 
destroyed. 

Could  all  this  not  have  been  averted  by  skilful  ne 
gotiations  ?  I  presume  we  must  wait  until  the  leading 
powers  of  the  world  agree  upon  a  general  system  of 
disarmament  before  the  millennium  of  peace  shall  have 
commenced. 

To  compel  the  King  of  Holland  to  give  up  the  citadel 
of  Antwerp,  King  Louis  Philippe  brought  against  it  an 
army  of  66,450  men,  14,300  horses,  and  222  guns ;  and 
the  French  lost  during  the  siege  108  killed  and  695 
wounded ;  total  803.  The  Dutch  had  4,937  men  in  the 
garrison,  of  whom  they  lost  122  killed,  369  wounded,  and 
70  missing;  total  561.  But  how  small  a  reckoning  is  this 
to  set  against  that  of  the  present  terrific  struggle  between 
France  and  Prussia ! 
15 


338  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

136.    The  Casting  Vote  of  the  Speaker  of  the  House  of 
Commons. 

I  had  often  heard  my  father  allude  to  this  vote  in  refer 
ence  to  the  charge  brought  against  Henry  Dundas,  first 
Viscount  Melville,  better  known  during  the  twenty-five  con 
cluding  •  years  of  the  past  century  as  Harry  Dundas,  who 
was  charged,  as  Treasurer  of  the  Navy,  with  official  mis 
conduct.  The  gravamen  of  his  impeachment  by  the  House 
of  Commons  was  laxity  of  supervision  in  the  department ; 
but  beyond  this  his  personal  honor  and  integrity  stood  un 
questioned.  I  had  so  frequently  listened  to  my  father's 
recital  of  the  sensation  which  the  affair  produced  in  Parlia 
ment  and  throughout  the  country,  that  I  was  glad  to  meet 
with  it  in  one  of  Mr.  Reginald  Palgrave's  "  Illustrations  of 
the  History  and  Practice  of  the  House  of  Commons ; "  but 
it  bears  on  the  death  of  Mr.  Pitt  so  differently  from  any 
thing  which  I  have  heard  from  other  sources  that  I  here 
transcribe  the  extract.  Mr.  Palgrave  says:  "A  Speaker 
once  was  driven  into  the  corner ;  he  found  that  '  ay '  or 
'  no,'  guilty  or  not  guilty,  must  be  settled  by  his  casting 
vote.  For  the  question  he  had  to  decide  was,  whether  or 
no  Lord  Melville,  as  Treasurer  to  the  Navy,  had  been  guilty 
of  official  misconduct.  It  was  in  the  year  1806  (the  im 
peachment  was  in  1805)  that  this  accusation  was  brought 
before  the  Commons,  and  it  provoked,  you  may  suppose, 
the  utmost  zeal  and  heat.  Much  was  proved  against  Lord 
Melville ;  much,  however,  of  the  desire  to  prove  his  guilt 
sprang  from  party  hate.  His  accusers  may  have  loved  jus 
tice,  but  they  certainly  also  loved  to  plague  an  antagonist. 
Mr.  Pitt,  the  Prime  Minister,  was  strong  on  Lord  Melville's 
side,  his  friend  and  colleague,  but  the  opposing  party  was 
zealous  and  powerful.  The  fierce  debate  ended  with  an 
even  vote — 216  members  declared  for  Lord  Melville ;  216 
voted  for  his  guilt.  Lord  Melville's  fate  was  thus  placed 


A   LADY'S   MENTAL   AGONY  DESCRIBED.  '  339 

in  the  Speaker's  hands,  to  be  decided  by  that  one  vote. 
Yet  it  was  long  before  the  Speaker  could  give  his  vote ; 
agitation  overcame  him :  his  face  grew  white  as  a  sheet. 
Terrible  as  was  the  distress  to  all  who  awaited  the  decision 
from  the  chair,  not  less  terrible  was  the  Speaker's  distress. 
This  suspense  lasted  ten  long  minutes.  There  the  Speaker 
sat  in  silence :  all  were  silent.  At  length  his  voice  was 
heard ;  he  gave  his  vote,  and  he  condemned  Lord  Melville. 
One  man  at  least  that  evening  was  overcome.  Mr.  Pitt 
was  overcome  :  his  friend  was  ruined.  At  the  sound  of 
the  Speaker's  voice,  the  Prime  Minister  crushed  his  hat 
over  his  brows  to  hide  the  streaming  tears  that  poured  over 
his  cheeks ;  he  pushed  in  haste  out  of  the  House.  Some 
of  his  opponents,  I  am  ashamed  to  say,  thrust  themselves 
near  '  to  see  how  Billy  looked.'  His  friends  gathered  in 
defence  around,  and  screened  him  from  rude  glances. 
During  a  quarter  of  a  century,  almost  ever  since  he  had 
been  a  boy,  Mr.  Pitt  had  battled  it  in  Parliament.  His 
experience  there  was  not  victory  only,  but  often  defeat. 
This  defeat,  however,  he  sank  under :  it  was  his  last ;  he 
died  ere  many  months  had  passed.  The  death  of  that 
great  man  was  hastened  by  Speaker  Abbot's  casting 
vote." 

Lord  Melville  was  afterward  tried  by  his  Peers,  and 
acquitted.  Mr.  Palgrave  says  that  Mr.  Pitt  sank  under 
this  defeat.  I  am  more  inclined  to  think  that  the  victory 
gained  by  the  French  against  the  Austrians  and  Russians 
at  Austerlitz  on  December  2,  1805,  had  much  more  to  do 
with  the  death  of  William  Pitt  than  the  casting  vote  of 
Speaker  Abbot. 

137.  A.  Lady's  Description  (in  After-life)  of  the  Event  that 
caused  her,  at  the  Time,  the  Greatest  Mental  Agony. 

At  a  Christmas-party  where  I  was  present,  after  the 
solution  of  the  usual  quantity  of  conundrums,  the  question 


340  REMINISCENCES   OF   FIFTY   YEARS. 

was  asked,  "  What  particular  event  in  our  experience  had 
caused  us  at  the  time  the  deepest  pain  ?  "  I  was  to  lead 
off,  and  I  recollect  being  sent  to  Coventry  for  my  answer". 
I  had  been  placed  by  one  of  Lord  Breadalbane's  keepers,  at 
Taymouth,  in  a  most  favorable  sheltered  position  for  a  shot, 
when  a  majestic  red  deer  actually  stopped  and  stared  me 
in  the  face  at  the  distance  of  twenty  yards.  My  gun  had 
ball  in  one  barrel  and  buck-shot  in  the  other.  I  took,  as  I 
vainly  thought,  a  choice  aim  at  the  choice  quarry  (of  which 
we  know  nothing  in  my  part  of  Scotland),  fired  both  shots, 
and  missed.  A  lady  of  the  party  at  once  said,  "  I  know 
what  caused  me  the  bitterest  feeling,  and  although  many 
years  have  since  passed  away,  I  cannot  forget  it;  it  is 
much  too  deeply  impressed  on  my  memory."  They  begged 
her  to  relate  the  circumstance,  which  they  trusted  would 
be  something  more  interesting  than  what  they  had  just 
heard  from  me. 

"  I  had  returned  home  for  the  holidays  from  my  board 
ing-school,"  she  said,  "  and  my  brother  David  from  his, 
when  a  day  or  two  afterward  mamma  received  an  invitation 
for  us  to  spend  a  week  or  ten  days  with  some  rather  exclu 
sive  relatives  of  ours,  at  their  country-seat.  My  brother 
felt,  as  I  did,  delighted.  My  dress-maker  was  immediately 
sent  for,  and  my  brother  was  off  to  his  tailor  to  be  refitted. 
The  following  Saturday  we  arrived  at  the  hall.  On  Sunday 
evening,  at  nine  o'clock,  a  larger  retinue  of  servants  than  I 
had  ever  previously  seen  in  a  private  family  entered  the 
drawing-room  to  listen,  with  the  large  circle  of  visitors,  to 
a  sermon  read  by  the  family  tutor  and  chaplain,  followed 
by  the  usual  prayer.  All  had  left  their  recumbent  posi 
tions,  my  brother  excepted,  which  being  observed  by  the 
lady  of  the  mansion,  she  beckoned  to  the  butler  and  the 
others  to  remain,  and  in  a  whisper  to  her  guests  intimated 
that  my  brother  was  still  in  prayer.  I  well  knew  the  con 
trary.  What  were  my  feelings  at  that  moment !  *  Oh  ! ' 


A  LADY'S  MEXTAL  AGONY  DESCRIBED.  341 

I  exclaimed  within  myself,  *  oil !  Davy,  Davy,  how  you  are 
exposing  me  and  yourself!  What  will  mamma  say  when 
she  hears  it  ? '  There  we  all  stood  in  silence.  The  agony 
of  my  feelings  at  that  moment  I  cannot  describe ;  and  the 
worst  had  still  to  come,  for  my  brother,  wishing  to  change 
the  position  of  his  head,  in  the  act  of  doing  so  gave  unmis 
takable  nasal  proof  that  he  had  apportioned  at  least  a  moi 
ety  of  the  previous  ten  minutes  to  something  besides  prayer. 
The  lady  of  the  mansion,  with  a  dignity  of  countenance 
vividly  impressed  on  my  memory,  said  to  her  domestics, 
*  You  may  now  retire.'  There  was  not  even  the  relief  of 
a  smile  permitted  in  that  house  on  a  Sunday  evening, 
which  only  increased  the  embittered  feelings  under  which, 
on  that  distressingly  trying  night,  I  retired  to  my  room. 
As  for  my  brother,  to  whom  I  had  no  opportunity  of  com 
municating  the  nature  and  extent  of  his  offence  against  de 
corum,  he  provoked  me  by  making  himself  as  much  at  home 
and  at  ease  as  if  nothing  dreadful  had  happened." 

I  had  so  utterly  failed  in  interesting  the  family  circle 
by  my  description  of  missing  a  double  shot  at  a  red  deer 
in  a  Scotch  forest,  that  I  was  called  upon — in  fact,  was  to 
have  another  chance  given  me  of  relating  something  that 
presented  to  my  mind  at  the  time  it  occurred  feelings  of 
horror  and  distress.  I  had  Kremlin-ized,  lion-ized,  opera- 
ized  the  ancient  and  original  capital  of  the  Russian  Empire, 
looked  at  and  from  as  many  of  the  600  church  and  other 
towers  as  any  other  previous  English  tourist,  and  in  a 
couple  of  days  was  to  retrace  my  steps  to  St.  Petersburg, 
when  the  landlord  and  landlady  of  the  English  hotel,  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Howard,  a  good  and  worthy  old  couple  from  Staf 
fordshire,  who  recollected  the  Emperor  Paul,  told  me  I 
must  not  take  my  departure  until  I  had  visited  the  Si 
berian  prison  in  the  suburbs  of  Moscow.  A  permission 
having  been  obtained,  I  drove  there  next  forenoon,  but 
altogether  unprepared  for  the  melancholy  spectacle  that 


342  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

awaited  me.  The  kingdom  of  Poland  was  at  this  period 
convulsed  throughout  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  land 
in  another  of  her  many  but  futile  struggles  to  throw  off  the 
dominion  of  Russia.  I  was  to  see,  and  gloat  an  idle  curi 
osity  with  the  inspection  of,  one  of  those  weekly  batches 
of  political  prisoners  whose  rendezvous  was  Moscow,  before 
being  dispatched  on  a  fearful  journey  of  some  thousands 
of  miles  to  Siberia,  occupying  many  months  in  being  ac 
complished.  The  prisoners  I  saw  appeared  to  me  to  be 
long  to  the  higher  classes,  and  I  understood  afterward  that 
they  did  so.  Never  shall  I  forget  what  I  suffered  for  seek 
ing  to  gratify  a  prurient  desire  to  see  the  unfortunate  Po 
lish  prisoners — my  only  palliation  being  that  I  was  a  mem 
ber  of  the  Polish  Association  of  London,  of  which  Lord 
Dudley  Stuart  was  president;  this  fact,  however,  was  not 
alluded  to  in  my  passport.  I  think  it  was  a  Saturday,  and 
on  the  following  Monday  morning,  at  an  early  hour,  the 
solemn  cavalcade  was  to  commence  its  melancholy  journey. 
Could  I  in  the  least  have  anticipated  what  I  was  to  behold, 
no  persuasion  could  have  induced  me  to  visit  such  cham 
bers  of  horrors. 

In  the  first  to  which  I  was  taken,  there  was  a  family  of 
distinction  and  of  great  personal  attractions :  the  husband 
a  remarkably  handsome,  military-looking  man,  apparently 
about  forty  years  of  age ;  his  wife,  a  few  years  younger,  a 
beautiful  and  attractive  woman,  tall  and  of  commanding 
appearance,  with  a  mildness  of  expression  and  a  resigna 
tion  in  her  demeanor  not  to  be  forgotten.  They  had  three 
sweet-looking  girls,  the  eldest  probably  eighteen.  The 
warder  by  whom  I  was  accompanied  had  entered  the  apart 
ment  rather  abruptly,  and  before  the  devoted  family  had 
time  to  rise,  being  clasped  in  each  other's  embrace,  and,  as 
it  appeared  to  me,  engaged  in  prayer,  and  bathed  in  tears. 
At  that  moment  I  should  have  sacrificed  any  thing  to  have 
been  outside  this  prison.  Something  was  said  by  the  ward- 


RESPECTABILITY   IN  GUERNSEY.  343 

er  to  tins  unfortunate  and  interesting  group.,  as  they  were 
all  instantly  on  their  feet,  because,  forsooth,  an  idle  Eng 
lish  tourist  was  present.  The  afflicted  prisoner  whom  I 
bad  so  unintentionally  disturbed,  at  once  assumed  a  mili 
tary  attitude,  and  his  countenance  a  firm  but  pleasing  ex 
pression.  I  had  now  witnessed  more  than  my  feelings  could 
support,  and  burst  into  tears,  at  the  same  time  imploring 
the  warder  to  hurry  me  from  the  scene.  I  made  a  solemn 
bow  to  the  family  whose  privacy  I  had  so  innocently  broken 
in  upon,  in  their  communion  with  him  from  whom  in  a  few 
hours  in  all  human  probability  they  were  to  be  severed  for 
ever  in  this  world.  In  leaving  the  chamber  I  placed  my 
hand  on  my  heart,  and  I  hope  I  conveyed  to  that  unhappy 
family  the  distress  I  at  that  moment  experienced  in  having 
so  reluctantly  violated  their  privacy.  On  the  Monday 
morning  I  was  invited  to  witness — "  last  scene  of  all " — = 
the  departure  of  the  exiles  to  Siberia,  but  I  had  too  re 
cently  left  their  presence  with  a  bitter  heart  to  witness  a 
renewal  of  those  mental  struggles,  which  we  only  witness 
under  a  different  phase  when  the  hearse  drives  from  the 
door. 

138.  Respectability  in  Guernsey. 

The  upper  classes  of  this  island  are  always  suspected 
of  being  extremely  exclusive ;  and  I  remember,  many  years 
ago,  when  making  a  short  tour  among  the  Channel  Islands, 
to  have  heard  that  the  people  of  Guernsey  rather  looked 
down  upon  their  neighbors  in  Jersey. 

A  clerical  friend  of  mine  recently  told  me  tlrat  I  was  mis 
informed  on  this  head,  as  it  was  not  so ;  and  I  begged  him 
to  explain  the  foundation  of  the  popular  error  which  he,  as 
a  native  of  Guernsey,  no  doubt  could  do ;  at  the  same  time 
the  origin  of  the  three  grades  of  society  in  his  island — the 
60's,  the  40's,  and  the  20's.  It  would  appear  that  some 
where  at  the  end  of  last  century  a  club  of  gentlemen,  heads 


344  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

of  families,  who  accidentally  numbered  60,  joined  in  the 
erection  of  a  ballroom,  which  my  reverend  friend  contended 
they  had  as  much  right  to  establish  as  the  leaders  of  Al- 
macks'  or  the  elite  of  Bath.  "  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  must,  I 
presume,  accept  your  explanation  of  the  non-exclusiveness 
of  the  Guernseyites ;  still,  it  is  inconsistent  with  what  I 
have  invariably  observed  in  you  Guernsey  people,  that  if 
one  alludes  to  the  Jerseyites,  you  are  sure  to  say  you  know 
little  or  nothing  of  them,  and  seem  desirous  to  leave  the 
impression  on  the  mind  of  the  hearer  that  the  only  pure 
and  unalloyed  60's  can  be  met  with  in  Her  Majesty's  Island 
of  Guernsey."  I  suppose  that,  if  this  sliding  scale  of  re 
spectability  is  really  current  and  recognized  in  Guernsey, 
the  world  has  a  specimen  of  that  kind  of  constitution  which 
Aristotle  or  Plato — I  forget  which — is  in  the  habit  of  term 
ing  a  "  Timocracy  "  or  "  Plutocracy." 

139.  Mr.  Missing,  the  Barrister. 

An  eminent  judge  used  to  say  that,  in  his  opinion,  the 
very  best  thing  ever  said  by  a  witness  to  a  counsel  was  the 
reply  given  to  Missing,  the  barrister,  at  the  time  leader  of 
his  circuit.  He  was  defending  a  prisoner  charged  with 
stealing  a  donkey.  The  prosecutor  had  left  the  animal  tied 
up  to  a  gate,  and  when  he  returned  it  was  gone. 

Missing  wras  very  severe  in  his  examination  of  the  wit 
ness.  "  Do  you  mean  to  say,  witness,  the  donkey  was 
stolen  from  that  gate  ?  "  "I  mean  to  say,  sir,"  giving  the 
judge,  and  then  the  jury,  a  sly  look,  at  the  same  time  point 
ing  to  the  counsel,  "  the  ass  was  Missing !  " 

140.  "Then,  John,  I  shall  not  dine  with  you  to-day,  you 
may  depend  upon  it" 

At  the  end  of  the  last  and  beginning  of  the  present 
century  few  of  the  great  London  merchants  had  their  pri- 


SIMPSON'S  TOMBSTONE.  345 

vate  residences  in  the  West  End.  They  lived  chiefly  in 
the  City,  or  in  the  suburbs. 

There  was,  however,  an  exception,  one  whose  exercise 
for  six  days  in  the  week  was  his  walk  into  and  out  of  the 
City.  Moreover,  he  dined  in  the  City,  immediately  on 
'Change  closing,  returning  for  an  hour  afterward  to  his 
counting-house  to  sign  his  letters,  and  see  the  transactions 
of  the  day  complete.  .He  was  a  stately  and  methodical 
personage  in  all  he  said  and  did.  He  had  for  years  dined 
at  a  coffee-house  in  St.  Paul's,  and  his  habit  was  in  the 
morning,  on  his  way  eastward,  to  enter  the  coffee-room, 
and  address  the  head-waiter  thus,  from  which  he  was  only 
once  known  to  make  a  deviation :  "  Well,  John,  and  what 
have  you  got  for  dinner  to-day ?  "  "A  nice  slice  of  Thames 
salmon,  sir ;  soup  as  always,  and  haunch  o'  mutton,  sir." 
"  Then,  John,  I  shall  dine  with  you  to-day,  you  may  depend 
upon  it."  These  questions  and  the  answers  were  almost  as 
well  known  to  the  frequenters  of  the  coffee-house  as  the 
establishment  itself.  One  July  morning,  under  a  broiling 
sun,  the  great  merchant  entered  as  usual.  "  Well,  John, 
and  wrhat  have  you  got  for  dinner  to-day  ?  "  "  Werry  nice 
dinner  indeed,  sir,  to-day  ;  ain't  it  vonderful  hot,  sir  ?  "  the 
perspiration  pouring  down  John's  face.  "  Sir,  there's  a 
beautiful  salmon,  sir,  two  kinds  of  soup,  sirloin  o'  beef, 
turkey  and  sassages ;  the  burial-people,  sir,  dines  vith  us 
to-day."  " The  burial-people,  John ?"  "Yes,  sir,  the  poor 
gemman  vat  died  in  the  room  over  this  of  putrid  fever  on 
Tuesday  is  to  be  buried  to-day,  as  \ve  fears  e  von't  keep  no 
longer." 

"  Then"  (hurrying  to  the  door),  "John,  I  shall  -not  dine 
with  you  to-day,  you  may  depend  upon  it." 

141.  Simpson's  Tombstone. 

A  Scotch  neighbor  of  mine  in  England,  who  tells  his 
anecdotes  admirably,  mentioned  to  me  the  following,  which  I 


346  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

understood  him  to  say  he  had  sent  to  Dean  Ramsay,  but  as 
it  did  not  appear  in  the  Very  Reverend  the  Dean's  charm 
ing  work,  "  Reminiscences  of  Scottish  Life  and  Character," 
I  have  availed  myself  of  it  without  any  felonious  inten 
tion  : 

John  Simpson,  or  John  Simson,  had  prepared  in  life  the 
epitaph  which  he  wished  to  appear  over  him  in  death,  and 
kept  it  in  his  house.  His  executors,  in  a  few  days  after  his 
interment,  carried  out  his  instructions,  and  the  parishioners 
next  Sabbath  were  reading  in  the  churchyard — 

"  TYRANNIC  KINGS, 
GRASPING   PRIESTS, 

AND 
ABJECT   SLAVES,    MUST  ALL   LIE   WITH   ME, 

JOHN  SIMSON," 

(or  Simpson).  The  clergyman  of  the  parish,  after  consulta 
tion  with  his  elders,  raised  a  legal  question  for  the  removal 
of  the  obnoxious  tombstone,  but  before  the  matter  was 
decided  he  himself  died.  It  was  suggested  to  the  parson 
who  succeeded,  to  revive  the  issue,  which  his  predecessor 
had  commenced,  but  he  demurred  to  this,  and  being  asked 
for  his  grounds  of  objection,  "  Well,"  said  he,  "  it  is  quite 
clear  to  me  that  the  deceased  was- not  very  particular  during 
life  in  his  associates,  and  I  should  recommend  our  letting 
him  alone  in  death  to  rest  quietly  in  his  grave." 

142.  A  Grumbling  Widow  cured. 

A  friend  of  mine  used  to  relate  an  instance  of  a  lucky 
expedient  he  adopted  to  cure  a  perverse,  obstinate,  discon 
tented,  and  ill-tempered  ward,  for  whom  he  had  been 
appointed  trustee  on  the  death  of  the  best  and  most  indul 
gent  of  husbands.  He  and  others  had  observed  that  their 
deceased  friend's  mucous  membrane  had  been  for  years  out 
of  order :  this  they  attributed  to  the  constant  worry  and 


A  GRUMBLING  WIDOW  CURED.         347 

irritation  to  which  he  was  exposed  in  the  home  circle.  He 
at  last  died,  and  the  only  act  of  unkindness,  said  my  friend, 
"  I  ever  experienced  at  the  hand  of  the  deceased  was  when 
he  took  up  his  pen  and  signed  his  name  appointing  me  un 
der  his  will  his  acting  executor,  thus  involving  me  in  the 
guardianship  and  protection  of  his  widow.  Unfortunately, 
there  was  no  family.  My  late  poor  friend  " — he  proceeded 
to  tell  me — "  was  somewhat  of  a  wag ;  and,  therefore,  in 
stead  of  leaving  me  a  ring  or  some  slight  memento,  he  de 
vised  to  me  a  living  legacy,  so  that  I,  who  had  gone  through 
years  of  uninterrupted  happiness  at  home,  should  not  be 
allowed  to  pass  to  my  rest  without  a  taste — and  it  proved 
a  very  bitter  one — of  that  experience  he  had  acquired  in 
wedlock.  If  there  was  a  woman  under  her  bereavement 
who  should  have  been  comfortable  and  happy,  it  was  this 
person.  Her  home  was  charming,  even  luxurious.  She 
had  a  circle  of  friends  anxious  to  be  kind  to  her — if  not  on 
her  own  merits,  at  least  on  those  of  the  husband  whom  she 
had  lost.  She  had  the  expenditure  of  a  jointure  of  £  3,000 
a  year ;  but  nothing  pleased  her.  One  day  it  would  be 
that  her  coachman  had  neglected  to  remind  her  of  a  call 
she  should  have  made  during  the  drive  of  the  previous 
afternoon,  although  she  had  told  him  particularly  to  attend 
to  this.  As  a  matter  of  course,  the  executor  must  look  into 
the  grievous  act  of  omission  forthwith,  and  advise  whether 
the  coachman  should  not  be  at  once  discharged.  At  another 
time  the  gardener  had  neglected  some  little  hot-house  ar 
rangement,  a  matter  which,  as  involving  the  question  of 
heat,  it  may  be  conceived  with  her  took  precedence  of  all 
other  complaints.  Then,  so  as  to  keep  her  pulse  as  near  to 
fever-point  as  possible,  and  prevent  the  previous  growling- 
fit  to  subside,  some  answer  that  her  maid  had  given  her 
was  deemed  insolent,  and  she  conceived  that  the  duties  of 
an  executor  compelled  him  to  demand  an  apology  from  the 
bedchamber  offender,  or  mistress  of  the  robes. 


.348  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

.  The  old  man-servant  of  her  late  husband  was  the  only 
person  below-stairs  whom  she  feared.  She  had  made  the 
trial  once  to  put  him  down,  but  only  once,  for  he  showered 
upon  her  such  a  torrent  of  family  reminiscences  that  she 
thought  it  wiser,  with  one  whose  memory  was  so  clear  and 
retentive,  to  let  him  alone  for  the  future. 

The  woman  could  not  exist  without  having  a  weekly 
grievance  to  report  to  her  husband's  executor.  On  one 
occasion  there  was  a  little  difficulty  between  the  joint  and 
the  cook,  and  the  executor  was  summoned  next  forenoon. 
He  had  the  head  of  the  culinary  department  under  exam 
ination  for  some  minutes  in  the  drawing-room,  and  was  on 
the  point  of  declaring,  in  the  presence  and  hearing  of  mis 
tress  and  cook,  that  he  considered  the  charge,  in  parlia 
mentary  language,  against  the  accused  "  both  frivolous  and 
vexatious,"  but  the  former,  who  was  extremely  astute,  saw 
that  a  hostile  decision  was  coming,  and  desired  cook  to 
withdraw.  My  friend,  in  telling  his  story,  said :  "  I  now 
found  my  own  mucous  membrane  and  digestive  powers 
rapidly  succumbing  under  my  executorial  annoyances.  I 
had  sacrificed  much  valuable  time  for  this  woman,  and  my 
patience  had  now  reached  the  last  stage  of  exhaustion. 
During  the  poor  cook's  cool  and  calm  explanation,  my 
blood  had  been  simmering,  but  was  now  rapidly  approach 
ing  the  boiling-point ;  my  interesting  ward  observed  this, 
and  just  at  the  moment  my  vessel  of  wrath  and  indignation 
was  going  to  flow  over,  bethought  herself  she  would  adopt 
with  me  without  a  moment's  delay  the  soothing  system : 
'  My  dear  sir,  you  see  exactly  how  I  am  treated  by  my 
servants ;  what  would  you  recommend  me  to  do  ? '  I  in 
stantly  rose  from  my  seat,  seized  my  hat,  gave  her  a  look 
which  she  never  forgot.  *  Do,  madam,'  I  exclaimed, 
'  why,  die,  or  I  must ; '  and  left  her  to  her  own  medita 
tions,  with  the  word  die  echoing  in  her  ears  and  through 
out  her  corridor."  The  following  week  my  friend  discov- 


"NOW,   MY  DEAR  DUKE."  349 

ered  that  his  own  domestics  had  been  talking  to  his  wife 
of  the  great  reform  that  had  taken  place  in  the  widow's 
household.  "  Vathever,  ma'am,  as  hour  master  been  a 

doing  vith  Mrs. ,  has  er  servants  his  now  so  appy  ? 

They  says,  ma'am,  master  as  made  her  turn  hover  a  new 
leaf.  Vat  a  vonderful  leaf,  ma'am,  hit  must  a  been  ! " 

143.  "Now,  my  dear  Duke." 

When  residing  in  one  of  the  metropolitan  counties,  be 
fore  railways  existed,  or  even  the  first  Reform  Bill  had 
passed,  the  passengers  of  our  four-horse  stage-coach  had 
frequently,  as  a  fellow-traveller,  a  London  alderman  and 
ex-Lord  Mayor,  who  was  one  of  the  members  of  Parliament 
for  the  City.  One  daily  traveller,  a  joyous-hearted  man  and 
fond  of  a  joke,  if  he  found  any  new  faces  to  amuse,  could 
never  resist  throwing  out  his  hook  for  the  alderman,  who 
at  once  rose  to  it.  A  year  or  two  previous  to  this,  as  Lord 
Mayor,  he  had  been  connected  with  the  extensive  City  im 
provements,  commenced  soon  after  the  erection  of  New 
London  Bridge,  in  which,  as  is  well  known,  the  Duke  of 
Wellington  took  a  great  interest,  occasionally  riding  on 
horseback  into  the  City  as  early  as  six  o'clock  in  the  morn 
ing  to  inspect  their  progress.  The  alderman  was  a  very 
good-looking,  gentlemanly  man,  with  much  bonhommie 
superadded  to  great  volubility,  with  this  peculiarity,  that 
once  Lord  Mayor,  always  Lord  Mayor ;  for  to  the  stranger 
who  met  him  for  the  first  time,  and  whose  fortune  or  fate 
it  was  to  have  a  two-hours'  stage-coach  drive  with  him,  he 
was  chief  magistrate  of  London  in  prcesenti,  and  once  touch 
on  the  City  improvements  you  had  him  instantly,  within 
the  walls  of  Apsley  House,  in  familiar  ttte-d-ttte  with  the 
Great  Duke,  and  himself  Lord  Mayor.  If  the  City  archi 
tects  had  suggested  any  alteration,  my  Lord  Mayor,  or  my 
ex-Lord  Mayor,  deemed  it  incumbent  upon  himself  to  com- 


350  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

municate  in  person  the  fact  to  the  Duke  as  Premier,  or  as 
Governor  of  the  Tower.  The  interviews,  as  described  for 
the  enlightenment  of  the  outside  or  inside  passengers  of 
the  coach  in  question,  as  the  case  might  be,  and  in  accord 
ance  with  the  state  of  the  weather,  consisted  chiefly  of 
emphatic  expressions,  such  as, "  Now,  my  dear  duke,  I  do 
assure  your  Grace,"  etc. ;  to  which  the  noble  Duke  was 
made  to  reply,  "  Now,  my  Lord  Mayor,  I  have  such  con 
fidence  in  your  sound  judgment  in  regard  to  the  city  im 
provements,  and  my  time  at  present  is  so  fully  occupied, 
that  I  leave  every  thing  in  your  hands."  "  All  this  "  (as  the 
alderman  felicitously  expressed  himself)  "  was,  of  course, 
extremely  flattering  and  gratifying  to  me,  coming,  as  it 
did,  from  such  a  man  as  the  Duke  of  Wellington."  A 
good  deal  more  on  the  same  exalted  topic  followed,  as  may 
be  supposed. 

Another  weakness  of  the  alderman  was  to  have  his 
name  ventilated  at  this  time  as  the  intended  purchaser  of  a 
large  estate  in  the  County  of  Kent,  then  in  the  market. 
The  alderman's  dimensions  as  a  millionnaire,  be  it  observed, 
were  in  an  inverse  ratio  to  his  own  estimate  of  his  personal 
qualifications  as  a  senator  and  high  city  functionary.  A 

county  newspaper  had  announced  that  Mr.  Alderman 

had  spent  a  couple  of  days  in  minutely  examining  the 
splendid  estate  of  Somerhill,  and  it  was  currently  reported 
that  negotiations  had  already  proceeded  so  far  that  they, 
as  journalists,  might  almost  announce  authoritatively  that 
the  purchase  was  on  the  eve  of  completion.  A  copy  of 
the  county  journal  had  reached  our  facetious  friend,  the 
passenger  to  and  fro  by  the  stage-coach,  and  a  cruel  sur 
mise  was  floated  that  it  had  been  posted,  though  not  ad 
dressed,  by  the  alderman.  "  Ah,  Alderman ,  how  sly 

you  have  been !  but  every  thing  oozes  out  where  great 
men  are  concerned.  Still,  I  do  think  you  might  have  taken 
us  into  your  confidence,  instead  of  leaving  us  to  find  out 


"NOW,   MY   DEAR  DUKE."  351 

that  you  had  purchased  that  magnificent  estate.  Far  from 
kind,  Mr.  Alderman,  and,  I  tell  you  frankly,  I  feel  your 
want  of  ingenuousness  extremely."  "  I  assure  you,  my 
good  sir,  the  negotiations  are  all  at  an  end — I  could  not 
entertain  the  timber  question  for  a  moment.  Only  think 
of  their  valuing  the  timber  on  the  property  at  £25,000  !  " 
"  Ah,  then,"  said  his  friend,  "  as  the  matter  is  generally 
spoken  of  in  the  city  and  elsewhere,  may  I  consider  myself 
authorized  to  say  that  you  split  on  the  timber  ?  "  "  Entire 
ly,  for,  had  this  outrageously  high  valuation  not  been  put 
on  the  timber,  I  had  seriouslv  considered  the  question  of 
making  myself  a  land-owner  in  Kent."  "  Alderman,  I  now 
understand  you  perfectly.  Your  bankers  won't  be  sorry  to 
hear  that  your  proposed  large  investment  in  land  is  at  an 
end,  for  you  would  have  drawn  your  balance  pretty  close. 
It  is  not  all  of  us,  alderman,  who  can  command  £180,000, 
with  or  without  timber." 

It  was  a  lucky  matter  for  the  alderman's  coach  compan 
ions,  that  a  great  capitalist  actually  became  the  purchaser 
of  the  estate  and  the  timber  upon  it ;  for,  so  long  as  it  re 
mained  unsold,  unless  there  was  something  important  to 
discuss  politically — and  we  had  no  London  morning  papers 
so  early  in  those  days — the  invariable  question  cropped  up, 
"  How  fares  it,  alderman,  with  the  Somerhill  Estate  ? " 
Which  was  usually  followed  by  a  Scotchman  who  travelled 
daily  by  this  coach  quietly  remarking  to  his  fellow-passen 
gers,  "  What  &puir  blethering  silly  cretlur  this  alderman  is, 
not  to  see  that  we  make  a  laughing-stock  of  him  !  " 

In  closing  these  remarks  on  this  London  city  magnate,  I 
may  mention  another  little  instance  of  his  vanity,  which  I 
also  witnessed.  The  Lord  Mayor  de  facto  was  entertaining 
some  members  of  the  Cabinet  in  the  Mansion  House,  at 
which  I  was  present.  The  evening  closed  with  one  of 
London's  densest  fogs.  The  time  had  arrived  for  the  party 
to  break  up,  and  accidentally  meeting  the  alderman  in  the 


352  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS.       . 

drawing-room,  some  one  said  he  feared  his  (the  alderman's) 
coachman  would  find  it  impossible  to  take  him  into  the 
country  that  night.  "  Oh,  dear,  quite  impossible ;  I  remain 
at  the  Mansion  House ;  in  fact,  the  state  bed  has  been  or 
dered."  We  had  never  heard  of  the  "  state  bed  ;  "  but  the 
alderman  was  communicative,  and  informed  us  that  "  there 
was  a  state  bed  in  the  Mansion  House,  which  was  occupied 
only  by  a  member  of  the  Royal  Family  or  of  the  Court  of 
Aldermen." 

144.    Were  you  ever  at  a  Lap-dog  Soiree  ? 

I  was  lately  asked  the  above  question.  "  A  lap-dog 
soiree!"  I  exclaimed.  "I  do  not  wonder  at  your  sur 
prise,"  said  the  lady ;  "  I  went  to  one,  but  shall  never  go 
to  a  second."  I  begged  her  to  describe  it.  It  would  appear 
that  a  rich  old  bachelor  at  Brighton,  where  my  friend  had 
been  staying,  wrote  to  her,  inviting  her  to  come  to  his  lap- 
dog  soiree,  and  bring  her  dear  little  Bella,  making  her  look 
very  smart.  In  accordance  with  the  request,  Bella  was  fes 
tooned  all  over,  in  addition  to  an  ornamental  cord.  That 
the  interesting  little  darlings  might  get  home  early,  the 
hour  fixed  was  five,  when  carriages  and  little  dogs,  to  the 
number  of  about  thirty,  inclusive,  reached  the  door  of  the 
entertainer.  On  entering  the  drawing-room,  it  became 
manifest  to  my  friend  that  the  controlling  power  was  de 
ficient,  as  violent  altercations  sprang  up  on  all  sides  of  the 
room,  whether  from  fits  of  jealousy,  or  from  what  cause, 
was  never  clearly  ascertained,  but  a  general  fight  soon  en 
sued,  at  the  very  moment  the  alarmed  ladies  were  prepar 
ing  to  withdraw  themselves  and  their  pets,  and  the  com 
batants  were  separated  only  by  a  strong  force  of  footmen 
entering,  but  not  until  wounds  had  been  inflicted,  many  so 
serious  as  in  some  cases  to  require  weeks  to  heal. 

My  friend's  interesting  little  creature,  possessing,  un 
fortunately,  great  personal  beauty,  and  whose  sex,  one 


A   WEST-END   PARTY.  353 

might  have  anticipated,  would  have  protected  her,  was 
cruelly  mawled,  and  her  mistress's  own  feelings  deeply 
lacerated ;  otherwise,  as  the  mildest  and  most  gentle  of 
women — "  one  who  loses  all  sense  of  self  in  the  sentiment 
of  kindness,  tenderness,  and  devotion  to  another " — she 
never  would  have  been  betrayed  into  using  such  strong 
language  toward  the  host  of  the  entertainment  as  the  fol 
lowing  :  "  What  a  fool  a  man  must  be  to  give  a  lap-dog 
soiree  !  " 

145.  How  a  West-end  Party  can  be  managed. 

I  heard  a  humorous  English  country  clergyman  make  a 
large  party  laugh  very  heartily,  by  describing  his  own  and 
his  wife's  astonishment,  as  a  young  couple,  at  their  first 
peep  into  London  society.  They  had  come  up  to  town  to 
pass  a  few  weeks  during  the  gay  season,  and  calling  upon 
the  Countess  of ,  one  of  their  parishioners,  her  lady 
ship  said  she  was  glad  to  see  them,  as  she  had  a  nice  party 
for  them  the  following  Friday,  and,  going  to  her  secretaire, 

filled  up  a  card  for  Mrs. 's  assembly.     As  a  quiet  couple 

from  the  provinces,  they  found  themselves  on  the  night  in 
question  amid  la  crcme  de  la  creme  of  the  West  End,  and 
in  a  mighty  crush.  In  the  course  of  the  evening  they  were 
next  to  a  lady  whose  amiable  countenance  gave  encourage 
ment  to  address  her.  "  Pray,  madam,  could  you  point  out 
to  us  Mrs. ?  "  "  Oh,  I  am  Mrs. "  (the  lady  giv 
ing  the  party).  "I  beg  pardon,  madam,  as  we  are  com 
paratively  speaking  strangers  in  London ;  and  it  was 

through  the  kindness  of  the  Countess  of that  we  had 

the  honor  of  receiving  your  invitation."  Finding  that  the 
hostess  was  apparently  glad  to  talk  to  my  wife  and  myself, 
and  being  anxious  to  have  some  of  the  lions  and  lionesses 
pointed  out,  I  asked  her  which  was  the  Russian  ambas 
sador.  "  Really,  I  cannot  tell  you,  as  I  fear  I  know  very 
few  more  in  the  room  than  you  do,  for  my  very  dear  and 


354  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

kind  friend,  the  Countess,  undertook  the  charge  of  the 
whole  affair,  and  I  did  not,  at  her  request,  issne  a  single 
invitation." 

146.  A  Bet  on  a  Sermon. 

Admiral told  me  he  once  heard  in  the  churchyard 

of  his  county  parish,  within  ten  minutes  of  the  service 
commencing,  a  parishioner  betting  with  the  parish  clerk  a 
pot  of  beer  that  he  knew  what  the  sermon  would  be.  "  I'll 
bet  you  a  pot  of  beer  you  don't."  "  Veil,  hit  vill  be  the 
'sounding  brass  and  tinkling  cymbal'  sermon;  hi  thinks 
this  his  jist  habout  the  times  o'  year  hit  comes  round." 
The  bet  being  made,  the  clerk  hurried  off  to  the  parson  to 
ask  him  what  his  sermon  was  to  be.  "  Why  do  you  ask 

such  a  question  ?  "     "  'Cause,  sir, as  betted  me  a  pot 

of  beer  that  it  is  the  '  sounding  brass  and  tinkling  cymbal ' 
sermon."  His  reverence,  finding  he  was  a  party  implicated 
in  the  bet,  desired  the  clerk  to  go  up  to  his  room  and  bring 
down  the  first  sermon  from  the  top,  and  put  this  one  at  the 
bottom.  The  clerk  afterward  bragged  at  the  public-house 
of  the  way  in  which  he  won  his  pot  of  beer. 

147.  A  Countryman  of  Mine  on  the  Ignorance  to  be  met 
with  in  England. 

A  well-known  London  actuary  used  to  tell  a  story  of 
his  having  gone  into  the  country  on  purpose  to  look  at  the 
house  of  his  favorite  poet,  Dryden.  Meeting  a  rural  police 
man,  he  asked  him  where  the  house  was.  "  Do  you  mean, 
sir,  the  ouse  vere  the  man  his  vot  as  got  ahind  vith  is  rent  ?  " 
was  the  intelligent  answer.  Another  anecdote  of  the  same 
actuary  was  to  the  effect  that  in  passing  up  Regent  Street 
he  saw  a  vase  in  a  window,  or  some  choice  article  of  vertu, 
that  attracted  his  attention,  and  went  into  the  shop  to  ex 
press  his  admiration  of  it.  In  the  course  of  his  observations 


IGNORANCE   IN  ENGLAND.  355 

he  exclaimed,  "  How  much  Benvenuto  Cellini  would  have 
enjoyed  this !  "  "  Well,  sir,  if  you  will  tell  the  gentleman 
to  call,  I  shall  be  happy  to  show  it  to  him." 

A  Scotchman  who  was  present,  and  who  never  changed 
a  feature,  or  manifested  any  thing  in  the  least  approach 
ing  a  smile,  said,  "  Weel,  gentlemen,  I  donrft  at  all  object 
to  the  anecdotes  themselves,  but  I  beg  to  say  that  such  a 
thing  could  not  have  happened  in  Scotland  ;  naething  o* 
the  sort ;  and  it  is  onrily  anither  instance — and  I  hae  met 
w?  many  o'  late — o'  the  fearfu?  ignorance  that  prevails  in 
England.  But  at  the  same  time  I  am  ready  to  admit — and 
I  do  it  with  extreme  reluctance — that  the  Scotch  character 
fa?s  off  sadly  in  England.  I  recollect  I  was  forcibly  struck 
with  this  some  years  ago.  I  had  come  to  London  for  a 
few  weeks,  and  had  been  engaged  one  Saturday  forenoon 
in  the  ceety,  and  after  I  had  got  through  ma  business  I  got 
into  an  omnibus  at  the  Mansion  House  to  carry  me  to  Pall 
Mall.  I  found  myself  sitting  niest  to  ane  o'  your  big  mer 
chants,  a  Scotchman.  I  had  known  him  for  years,  not  in 
timately,  but  still  weel  eneuch  to  shake  hands  and  get  into 
general  conversation.  After  this,  I  couldna  exactly  mak 
oot  what  he  was  havering  and  jabbering  to  me  dboot  his 
carriage.  At  last  I  discovered  what  he  meant,  which  was, 
that  I  was  to  know  that  he  always  drove  into  and  out  o'  the 
ceety  in  his  carriage  as  far  as  South wark  Bridge,  but  his  cotch- 
tnan  had  that  day  made  a  mistake  and  had  not  come  for 
him.  Weel,  then,  just  before  we  got  to  the  Duke  o'  North 
umberland's  hoose  at  Charing  Cross,  he  said  to  me,  '  Do  you 
know  the  fare  from  the  ceety  f '  I  was  deevilish  angry  at 
this  piece  o'  upstart  pride,  and  I  answered  him  somewhat 
sharply,  *  You  should  know  the  omnibus  fare  better  than  I 
do,  a  stranger  in  London ;  but  it  was  saxpence  when  I  was 
last  here.'  I  wonder  what  his  poor  faither  or  his  grand- 
faither,  had  he  been  alive,  would  have  said  had  I  tauld 
him  this  on  getting  back  to  Scotland.  His  grandfaither  was 


356  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

a  very  wee  body  in  his  time,  and  had  to  look  on  baith  (both) 
sides  o'  a  saxpence  before  he  parted  with  it.  I  was  tauld 
that  this  great  London  merchant,  who  had  a  country  sate 
some  miles  from  London,  imitated  what  royalty,  or  the  lord- 
lieutenant  o'  the  coonty,  as  representing  the  sovereign,  is 
only  entitled  to  do,  but  certainly  not  a  ceety  merchant — 
namely,  to  have  a  flag  hoisted  on  his  arrival  and  lowered 
on  his  departure,  as  if  the  public  cared  a  jot  whether  he 
had  his  pen  ahint  his  lug  (behind  his  ear)  in  the  ceety,  or 
was  digging  up  gowans  (dandelion)  oot  o'  his  bit  o'  a  park 
in  the  country.  Ma  (my)  opinion  is,  that  a  man  is  a  great 
fool  for  this  sort  o'  display,  for  if  he  has  not  got  some  o' '  the 
bluid  o'  the  Howards '  in  his  veins,  the  hoisting  the  flag  is 
sure  to  call  up  his  antecedents,  which  otherwise  would  have 
been  allowed  to  remain  quiet." 

148.  A  Matter  of  Choice. 

Among  the  numerous  anecdotes  of  my  late  Lincolnshire 
clerical  friend,  the  Rev.  W.  Wright,  of  Brattleby,  was  the 
following : 

The  clergyman  of  a  mountainous  district  in  Yorkshire, 
whose  parsonage  was  under  repair,  arrived  at  the  public- 
house  of  the  village  to  attend  to  his  duties  on  the  Sunday 
morning.  The  rain  was  descending  in  torrents,  and,  when 
the  time  had  arrived  for  going  into  church,  he  sent  the 
clerk  to  see  what  sort  of  congregation  there  was,  who  re 
turned  and  reported  that  it  consisted  of  Smith  and  Davies, 
the  two  shepherds.  On  hearing  this  the  clergyman  said, 
"  You  had  better  go  and  ask  them  whether  they  would 
prefer  a  sermon  or  a  pot  of  beer."  He  came  back  imme 
diately  to  inform  him  that  they  would  much  prefer  the  pot 
of  beer.  The  pot  was  sent  for  and  discussed  accordingly ; 
and  the  sermon  put  by  for  a  "  more  convenient  season." 


ROBERT   CRICHTON  WYLLIE.  357 

149.  The  Late  Robert  Crichton  Wyllie,  Minister  of  Foreign 
Affairs  to  the  King  of  the  Sandwich  Islands. 

A  few  months  before  my  poor  brother  lost  his  life  on  the 
island  of  Guadalcanar,  in  the  South  Seas,  he  wrote  me  an 
interesting  letter  from  Honolulu,  and  by  the  same  ship  sent 
me  a  piece  of  the  rock  on  which  Captain  Cook,  the  famous 
navigator,  was  killed,  in  1779.  In  this  letter  he  mentioned 
having  renewed  his  acquaintance  with  Mr.  B.  C.  Wyllie, 
the  Prime  Minister,  or  Minister  of  Foreign  Relations,  to 
the  King  of  the  Sandwich  Islands.  Some  of  my  readers 
may  feel  a  desire  to  know  how  Foreign-Office  affairs  are 
conducted  at  Honolulu,  and,  as  I  possess  a  letter  from  the 
department  addressed  to  my  late  brother,  the  following  is 

a  copy : 

"  Department  of  Foreign  Relations, 

"Honolulu,  February  21,  1850. 

"  SIR  :  By  order  of  the  King,  I  have  the  honor  to  convey 
to  you  His  Majesty's  thanks,  for  your  humanity  in  rescuing 
from  a  situation  of  great  danger,  during  the  late  severe  gales, 
on  the  coast  of  Maui,  a  boat  containing  seven  subjects  of  His 
Majesty,  of  which  act  of  kindness  information  has  been  re 
ceived  through  His  Excellency  the  Governor  of  that  Island. 
"  And  I  am  further  commanded  to  acquaint  you  that  it 
pleased  His  Majesty,  in  Council,  this  day,  to  order  that  no 
port  charges  whatever  be  levied  on  the  yacht  Wanderer, 
or  any  other  yacht  navigated  for  purposes  of  pleasure  or 
service,  and  not  for  those  of  trade. 

"  For  myself,  I  have  to  add  that  it  pleases  me  much  to 
be  the  organ  of  this  communication  to  a  friend  for  whom  I 
entertain  so  much  personal  esteem,  and  to  assure  you  of  the 
high  respect  with  which  I  have  the  honor  to  be,  Sir, 
"Your  most  obedient  servant, 

(Signed)  "  R  C.  WYLLIE. 

"  Benjamin  Boyd,  Esq., 

"  The  Wanderer,  Royal  Yacht  Squadron,  Honolulu  Roads." 


358  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

As  it  is  somewhat  remarkable  to  meet  with  one  who 
begins  life  as  a  medical  man,  then  becomes  a  merchant, 
subsequently  a  London  West-end  Club  man,  and  lastly 
Minister  to  the  King  of  the  Sandwich  Islands,  I  had  pre 
pared  a  little  sketch  of  my  deceased  friend's  career,  but, 
having  had  handed  to  me  an  extract  from  one  of  our  leading 
Scotch  journals,  the  Ayr  Advertiser,  I  adopt.it,  as  very 
much  better  than  any  data  I  possessed : 

"  AN  ADVENTUROUS  LIFE. 

"  The  mournful  intelligence  has  this  week  reached  us  of 
the  death  of  Robert  Crichton  Wyllie,  Minister  of  Foreign 
Affairs,  etc.,  to  the  King  of  Hawaii — a  gentleman  who  raised 
himself  by  his  indomitable  perseverance  and  talents  to  a 
high  position  of  honor  and  fame.  He  was  born  at  Hazel- 
bank,  in  the  parish  of  Dunlop,  on  October  13,  1798.  He 
was  the  second  son  of  the  late  Alexander  Wyllie,  Esq.,  of 
Hazelbank,  and  Janet  Crichton,  of  Culstraw,  Stewarton. 
Those  who  knew  him  in  boyhood  can  well  remember  that 
from  his  earliest  years  he  gave  every  indication  of  being 
possessed  of  talents  above  mediocrity.  He  received  the 
first  elements  of  education  under  the  late  Mr.  Bryce,  parish 
teacher,  Dunlop,  and  afterward  for  some  time  attended  the 
late  Dr.  Barr,  of  Glasgow,  while  he  taught  a  number  of 
families  in  the  district  of  Broadlie,  in  this  parish.  There 
after,  Mr.  Wyllie  left  for  Glasgow  College,  and  received  his 
medical  diploma  before  he  was  twenty  years  of  age.  He 
soon  after  left  as  surgeon  in  a  vessel  bound  for  the  North 
Seas,  and  endured  hardships  and  braved  dangers  like  a  true 
Scotchman.  He  was  thrice  shipwrecked,  and  returned  to 
Liverpool,  but  not  to  home,  having  left  with  his  firm  resolu 
tion  to  do  so  only  after  he  had  earned  a  fame  worthy  of  his 
name.  Through  the  instrumentality  of  his  late  teacher,  Dr. 
Barr,  who  was  then  in  Liverpool,  he  reembarked  in  a  ves 
sel  bound  for  South  America,  where  for  a  short  time  he 


ROBERT   CRICHTON   WYLLIE.  359 

practised  as  a  surgeon,  but  soon  turned  his  attention  to 
mercantile  affairs,  for  which,  in  tact  and  talent,  he  was  in 
every  respect  adapted. 

"  After  a  sojourn  of  fourteen  years  there,  he  revisited 
his  native  land,  and,  as  one  of  the  first  fruits  of  his  success, 
built  a  mansion-house  for  his  parents  on  the  lands  of  Hazel- 
bank.  He  proved  truly  a  devoted  son,  and  those  who  were 
acquainted  with  his  aged  parents  can  well  remember  the 
feelings  of  pride  and  gratitude  they  ever  cherished  for  him 
till  their  dying  day.  He  then,  feeling  time  hanging  heavily 
on  his  hands,  left  for  London,  and  was  soon  again  engaged 
in  mercantile  transactions.  But,  acting  on  an  idea  which 
seemed  to  have  actuated  him,  he  went  to  the  Sandwich 
Islands,  where  for  the  last  twenty  years  he  occupied  an  im 
portant  field  of  usefulness,  with  great  benefit  to  the  natives 
there  and  much  honor  to  himself.  It  is  gratifying  to  find 
that,  from  the  highest  to  the  lowest  in  that  land  of  his  adop 
tion,  all  are  at  one  in  testifying  to  his  many  virtues,  and 
recording  his  death  as  truly  a  national  calamity." 

My  late  friend  was  brimful  of  Scotch  anecdotes,  which 
he  related  admirably.  There  was  one  he  scarcely  ever 
avoided  repeating  to  me  when  we  met,  be  it  in  the  street, 
the  drawing-room,  or  the  Club.  He  had  it  from  his  father, 
who  knew  "daft  Sandy."  Poor  Sandy  was  a  half-witted 
creature,  with  an  admixture  of  sly,  humorous  cunning,  what 
we  call  (Scottice)  an  auld  f arrant  haverel,  who  wandered 
about  his  district,  receiving  food  and  shelter  from  one  or 
other.  He  was  quite  harmless,  and  generally  a  welcome 
visitor,  for  he  was  famous  for  rhyming  to  any  thing  that 
was  said  to  him.  One  day  Lord  Boyd  and  his  neighbor, 
Laird  Crawford,  saw  Sandy  coming,  and  Crawford  said  to 
his  friend  that  he  would  puzzle  Sandy.  Lord  Boyd  said  he 
would  not,  and  a  small  bet  followed.  Crawford  the  Laird 
was  not  the  most  moral  man  in  the  county,  and  daft  Sandy 
knew  this.  As  Sandy  approached,  Crawford  put  down  his 


360  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

head  to  butt  Sandy,  at  the  same  time  making  a  noise  as 
like  a  bull  as  he  could — boo,  boo,  boo !  To  this  Sandy  gave 
an  instant  rejoinder : 

"  The  worthless  Crawford  and  Lord  Boyd, 
Of  grace  and  manners  baith  are  void, 
Wha  like  twa  bulls  amang  the  kye, 
Ye  boo  at  folks  as  they  gang  bye." 

It  was  alleged  that  Laird  Crawford  was  never  colloquial 
with  daft  Sandy  after  this. 

150.  An  Intended  Scotch  Breakfast  at  Greenwich. 

The  late  Mr.  James  Stuart,  of  Dunearn,  Fifeshire,  so 
well  known  in  Scotland  fifty  years  ago  as  a  leader  in  Whig 
politics,  but  who,  for  the  last  twenty  years  of  his  life,  re 
sided  in  London,  was  one  of  the  kindest  and  most  hospita 
ble  of  men.  On  the  occasion  of  a  holiday  early  in  the  par 
liamentary  session  he  had  invited  a  party  of  his  political 
and  non-political  friends  to  meet  him  at  the  Trafalgar  Hotel, 
Greenwich,  the  following  Friday  morning,  at  ten,  not  to 
eat  whitebait,  but  to  partake  of  what  he  emphatically  called, 
in  his  note  of  invitation,  "a  first-rate  Scotch  breakfast." 
He  added  that  he  expected  two  or  three  English  friends  to 
be  present  who  were  strangers  to  such  an  entertainment. 
He  had  written  to  the  landlord  to  provide  a  "  Scotch  break 
fast  "  for  twelve  at  10  A.  M.,  and  a  dinner  for  the  same  num 
ber  at  6  P.  M.  We  were  likewise  told  that  our  Caledonian 
breakfast  was  to  be  succeeded  by  a  comprehensive  pedes 
trian  excursion  over  Blackheath  and  Woolwich  Common  to 
the  summit  of  Shooter's  Hill,  so  that  we  might  do  justice  to 
our  English  dinner. 

The  party  arrived  at  the  hour  fixed,  with  appetites  well 
attuned  by  a  sharp  March  frost  for  the  good  things  that 
awaited  them.  The  landlord,  Sharp  by  name  and  sharp  by 
nature — in  regard  to  punctuality  at  least — announced  that 


SCOTCH  BREAKFAST  AT   GREENWICH.  361 

breakfast  was  ready.  Never  was  an  intimation  more  joy 
ously  received  by  hungry  men  who  had  been  for  some 
minutes  painting  in  their  minds  the  scene  that  was  await 
ing  a  realization  in  the  adjoining  apartment — videlicet,  tea, 
coffee,  chocolate,  with  those  envied  exotics  in  the  eyes  of 
a  Londoner,  fresh  or  new-laid  eggs,  in  abundance,  broiled 
and  cold  ham,  Findon  haddock,  of  course,  possibly  salmon 
steaks,  in  addition  to  that  splendid  garniture  of  a  Scotch 
breakfast  table,  Dundee  marmalade,  with  heather  honey, 
strawberry,  that  queen  of  jams,  raspberry  and  currant 
jelly,  etc. 

•What  was  our  surprise  on  entering  the  room  to  ob 
serve  a  large  tureen  at  the  top  and  an  equally  large  one 
at  the  bottom  of  the  table  !  Nothing  else  on  it — not  even 
a  tea-cup  visible.  The  giver  of  the  breakfast  was  almost 
speechless,  his  famished  guests  appalled;  but  they  were 
much  too  hungry  and  prudent  to  allow  their  indignant 
host's  orders  to  remove  the  obnoxious  tureens  to  take  ef 
fect — a  slight  inspection  having  convinced  us  that  they 
were  tenanted  with  excellent  mutton  broth  of  a  most  sub 
stantial  character — the  crowded  nuggets  afloat  of  well- 
cooked  meat  attracting  peculiar  attention. 

The  landlord  was  called  upon  by  our  excited  enter 
tainer  for  an  explanation ;  he  stated  that,  never  having  be 
fore  prepared  a  Scotch  breakfast,  he  had  consulted  a  friend, 
who  told  him  that  if  they  were  Scotch  gentlemen  the  cor 
rect  dish  was  broth.  This  explanation,  if  possible,  rather 
added  to  the  excitement  of  our  friend.  An  order,  and  a 
very  peremptory  one,  was  now  given  for  tea,  coffee,  with 
et  ceteras ;  but  before  they  arrived,  the  contents  of  both 
tureens  had  disappeared — an  operation  in  which  our  Eng 
lish  colleagues  ably  assisted.  Our  inability  to  do  more  in 
the  way  of  breakfast  now  became  manifest. 

We  proceeded  on  our  walk,  and  whenever  our  atten 
tion  was  for  a  time  withdrawn  from  the  sylvan  attrac- 
16 


362  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

tions  of  Greenwich  Park,  or  from  settling  the  question 
of  the  rival  claims  of  Blackheath  and  Woolwich  in  the  mat 
ter  of  landscape,  we  had  to  listen  to  a  violent  anathema 
hurled  by  our  host  against  the  unfortunate  landlord  of  the 
Trafalgar. 

Our  English  friends  assured  him  they  had  never  break 
fasted  more  satisfactorily,  and  one  of  the  party  declared  to 
us  that  he  had  heard  one  of  the  waiters  say  quietly  at  the 
side-table :  "  Vat  vonderful  happetites  these  Scotch  gents 
as,  hand  so  hearly  hin  the  day,  too  !  " 

We  endeavored  to  calm  our  friend  by  suggesting  that 
his  well-meant  attempt  at  a  Scotch  breakfast  at  Greenwich 
should  now  be  looked  upon  as  a  thing  of  the  past,  but,  as 
his  English  visitors  had  still  to  be  indoctrinated  in  its 
mysteries,  we  should  hold  ourselves  disengaged  for  an 
other  morning,  when,  should  his  instructions  be  clearly 
defined — which,  in  justice  to  the  landlord,  we  pronounced 
to  have  been  extremely  vague — we  had  no  misgivings  that 
a  very  excellent  breakfast  de  more  Scottorum  might  be  pro 
duced  at  the  Trafalgar. 

151 .  "  Please,  Sir,  will  you  kindly  give  me  a  little  Salt  f  " 

Talking  of  a  Scotch  breakfast — or  an  attempted  one — 
at  Greenwich  reminds  me  of  an  anecdote  the  late  Mr.  Coates 
used  to  tell.  He  had,  he  said,  never  known  a  request  so 
ably  or  so  judiciously  put,  inasmuch  as  it  was  complied  with 
fourfold.  A  boy,  on  a  hot  summer  morning,  was  passing 
down  St.  James's  Street,  or  along  Pall  Mall,  when  he  ob 
served  two  gentlemen  agreeably  occupied  at  breakfast  at 
their  Club  window,  which  was  open.  Adopting  as  rapidly 
as  possible  a  supplicatory  attitude  and  tone,  he  addressed 
one  of  the  gentlemen  thus :  "  Please,  sir,  will  you  kindly  give 
me  a  little  salt  ?  "  "A  little  salt,  boy ;  what  do  you  want 
with  a  little  salt?"  "Oh,  sir,  please  do;  for,  if  you  give 


"PLEASE,   SIR,   GIVE   ME  A   LITTLE  SALT."          363 

me  a  little  salt,  perhaps  this  gentleman  will  give  me  an  egg." 
Not  only  was  an  egg  forthcoming  and  salt,  but  a  good-sized 
cup  of  coffee,  in  addition  to  a  muffin. 

Another  of  Mr.  Coates's  anecdotes,  which  he  liked  to 
address  to  me  as  a  Scotchman,  was  the  difference  between 
the  London-Irish  bootmaker  and  the  London-Scotch  boot 
maker.  An  Irish  gentleman  entered  the  shop  of  a  country 
man  of  his  own  in  the  West  End,  and  was  measured  for  a 
pair  of  boots.  A  few  days  afterward  he  came  to  try  them 
on,  but  was  highly  displeased  with  them,  and  called  upon 
the  Hibernian  bootmaker  to  explain.  "  jBedad,  sor,  it  is 
mighty  aisey  to  explain.  You've  got,  sor,  a  large  foot,  and 
a  very  clomsy  foot  into  the  bargain."  After  this  plain 
matter-of-fact  statement  and  the  explosion  that  followed, 
the  oifended  gentleman,  indignantly  rejecting  the  boots, 
sought  solace  and  relief  at  a  Scotch  bootmaker's  close  by, 
and,  while  his  measure  was  being  taken,  he  explained  to 
the  more  cautious-spoken  Scot  how  the  impudent  fellow, 
whose  shop  he  had  just  left,  had  served  him  and  at  the 
same  time  insulted  him  very  grossly  by  telling  him  that  he 
had  a  large  foot  and  a  very  clumsy  foot.  "  Weel,  sir,"  said 
the  Scotchman,  who  was  taking  his  measure  with  much 
care,  "  I  will  not  say  that  you  have  aither  a  large  fut  or  a 
very  clumsy  fut,  but  I  will  say  this,  that  it  will  tak  a  dale 
of  leather  to  cover  it."  The  story  of  "  Please,  sir,  kindly 
give  me  a  little  salt,"  reminds  me  of  the  story  of  a  gentle 
man  being  politely  asked,  when  driving  on  the  high-road, 
by  a  respectable-looking  man,  if  he  would  have  the  kind 
ness-  to  give  a  lift  to  his  great-coat  to  the  next  town :  he 
told  him  he  had  no  objection,  on  which  the  pedestrian 
stepped  up  in  all  speed  into  the  carriage  and  took  his  seat. 
"  Why,  sir,  you  asked  me  to  take  your  great-coat  ? " 
"  Yes,  sir,  I  did  ;  but  I  am  inside  my  great-coat,  and  I  know, 
sir,  you  are  much  too  polite  to  separate  us." 


364  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

152.  Lord  Stowell  and  Dr.  Johnson. 

Lord  Stowell,  it  is  said,  felt  much  hurt  that  John  Wil 
son  Croker  had  not  consulted  him  while  writing  the  "  Life 
of  Johnson,"  as  he  was  the  only  surviving  public  man  who 
had  really  known  the  doctor,  and  could  have  furnished 
many  most  interesting  anecdotes  of  the  celebrated  lexicog 
rapher,  which,  unfortunately,  went  to  the  tomb  with  the 
great  judge  of  the  Court  of  Admiralty. 

Lord  Stowell,  then  William  Scott,  of  University  Col 
lege,  Oxford,  entertained  Johnson.  In  those  days  the  din 
ner  was  at  two  ;  the  party  sat  till  five,  after  having  imbibed 
a  fair  quantity  of  port,  eight  years  in  bottle,  and  fruity. 
This  was  the  port  the  Brothers  Scott  liked ;  and  it  is  said 
that  it  was  supplied  by  their  relative  Mr.  Surtees,  of  New- 
castle-on-Tyne.  The  party  adjourned  to  the  College  gar 
den,  and  Johnson  observed  Scott  pitching  snails  which  had 
come  out  after  rain  on  the  wralks  into  his  neighbor's  gar 
den,  "Hallo,  Scott,"  exclaimed  Johnson,  "do  unto  thy 
neighbor  as  you  would  be  done  by."  "  But,  my  dear  doc 
tor,"  said  Scott,  "  he  is  a  Dissenter."  "  A  Dissenter ! " 
ejaculated  Johnson  ;  "  then  pitch  away." 

Lord  Stowell  used  to  refer  with  a  smile  to  Dr.  Johnson 
and  his  promising  pupil,  Sir  John  Ladd,  the  future  four-in- 
hand  celebrity,  to  whom  he  was  for  a  time  private  tutor. 
The  young  baronet,  when  he  reached  his  majority,  suc 
ceeded  to  an  unencumbered  property  of  £  40,000  a  year 
and  £  100,000  in  cash.  One  day  a  friend  asked  Dr.  John 
son  how  his  pupil  got  on.  "  Why,  sir,  he  is  as  wild  as  the 
wind,  as  light  as  a  feather,  and  does  not  know  that  twenty 
shillings  are  equal  to  a  pound." 

The  youthful  baronet  went  to  Oxford,  and  was  shown 
a  set  of  rooms  that  had  been  prepared  for  him.  "  What ! 
are  these  to  be  my  rooms  ?  "  "  Yes,  sir ;  nothing  better  in 
the  College."  "  Nothing  better  ?  "  «  No,  sir."  "  Then," 


LORD   STOWELL  AND   DR.   JOIINSOX.  365 

turning  to  his  servant,  "  order  four  posters,  as  I  shall  re 
turn  to  London  forthwith ; "  and  here  ended  Sir  John 
Ladd's  University  career.  He  frequently  became  the  asso 
ciate  of  royalty,  living  a  good  deal  at  Oatlands  with  the 
Duke  of  York,  and  ultimately  became  a  pensionary  of  the 
Regent.  He  is  said  to  have  been  in  the  days  of  his  ad 
versity  a  successful  negotiator  in  making  up  marriages, 
drawing  a  commission  for  his  services.  With  this  calling 
he  united  that  of  touter  for  fasionable  coach-builders,  who 
paid  him  handsomely  for  any  orders  he  procured.  My 
reverend  friend,  to  whom  I  am  indebted  for  these  anec 
dotes  of  Lord  Stowell,  Doctor  Johnson,  and  Sir  John  Ladd, 
recollected,  as  a  young  man,  the  charioteer  Baronet  visiting 
his  father  from  the  Duke  of  York's,  at  Oatlands,  and  on  each 
occasion  his  great  desire  seemed  to  be  to  induce  his  worthy 
parent,  the  rector  of  his  parish  and  lord  of  the  neighbor 
ing  manor,  to  drive  with  him.  He  at  last  succeeded,  and 
from  the  moment  the  worthy  divine  mounted  and  occupied 
the  box-seat  of  the  drag  Ladd's  ambition  appeared  to  be 
to  dart  into  every  kind  of  danger,  and  court,  if  possible,  an 
upset.  I  think  I  understood  my  reverend  friend  to  say 
that  he  at  last  secured  a  "  a  spill,"  but  nothing  serious  was 
the  result — quite  enough,  however,  to  make  his  father  re 
solve  for  the  future  to  abstain  from  intrusting  himself  to 
the  coachmanship  of  Sir  John  Ladd. 

William  Scott  and  John  Scott — the  future  Lord  Stowell 
and  Earl  of  Eldon — were  much  attached  to  each  other,  and 
in  early  life  always  devoted  at  least  one  day  in  each  year 
to  a  lark  together  in  the  country.  On  one  occasion  they 
had  dropped  upon  a  country  inn  where,  to  their  excessive 
delight  and  satisfaction,  the  port-wine  was  excellent — in 
fact,  first  rate.  This  attraction  soon  determined  the  learned 
brothers  to  cast  anchor,  dine,  and  pass  the  night.  Next 
day — we  must  assume  it  was  the  evening — they  found 
themselves  charged  for  eight  bottles  of  port.  Lord  Stowell 


366  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

used  to  say,  "Whether  we  drank  them  I  can't  exactly  say  ; 
but  we  paid  for  them." 

An  aged  friend  of  mine  told  me  within  the  last  few 
months  that  he  had  been  dining,  as  a  young  man,  at  the 
Pitt  Club,  the  late  Lord  Harrowby  in  the  chair,  and  that  as 
the  party  were  breaking  up  he  found  Lord  Eldon,  after  his 
usual  potation  of  port,  at  the  top  of  the  staircase,  looking 
anxiously  down  it,  evidently  weighing  in  his  legal  mind 
the  question  of  descent,  at  the  same  time  measuring  it  by 
the  eye  !  "  My  Lord  Chancellor,"  said  my  friend,  "  can  I 
be  of  any  assistance  to  your  lordship  ?  "  "  Of  the  great 
est,  at  this  moment,"  seizing  my  friend  by  the  arm.  It 
was  now,  comparatively  speaking,  a  facilis  descensus,  and 
the  keeper  of  the  King's  conscience  was  safely  seated  in 
his  carriage. 

My  friend  who  had  acted  as  the  Lord  Chancellor's  prop 
mentioned  another  anecdote.  Lord  Stowell  had  told  his 
brother  that  he  had  made  a  certain  purchase  which  he  had 
been  some  time  contemplating,  and  that  he  was  to  pay  the 
money  into  So-and-so's  credit  at  his  banker's  that  day. 
"  Don't  make  the  payment  to-day,  William."  "  But  I  must, 
John."  "  Oblige  me  by  not  making  it  to-day."  The  fact 
was,  the  Lord  Chancellor  had  that  day  signed  a  fiat  of  bank 
ruptcy  against  the  firm. 

153.   Tfie  Buono  Mano. 

When  1  wras  in  Italy,  a  quarter  of  a  century  back,  it 
used  to  be  alleged  that,  pay  an  Italian  post-boy  as  liberally 
as  you  liked,  he  would  still  ask  you  for  a  "  buono  mano." 

An  English  nobleman,  who  was  travelling  with  his 
family,  resolved  to  test  this  statement.  Accordingly,  the 
postiglione,  at  the  end  of  the  post  or  day's  journey,  was 
desired  to  wait  upon  his  lordship,  who  gave  him  double 
what  he  was  entitled  to.  The  recipient  made  his  bow,  re 
turned  thanks,  and  retired ;  but  just  as  he  had  reached  the 


WHIST.  367 

door  he  turned  round,  and  attiring  his  countenance  in  that 
beseeching  expression  at  which  the  Italians  are  adepts,  ex 
claimed,  "  Oh,  signore,  buono  mano." 

The  Irish  Dublin  carman  is  said  to  belong  to  the  Italian 
school  in  this  respect.  The  peculiarity  came  on  the  tapis 
at  a  dinner-party  at  Morrison's  Hotel  in  Dublin,  when  one 
of  the  party  present  defended  Paddy  from  what  he  con 
sidered  an  unjust  imputation — a  member  of  a  hard-working, 
facetious,  and  obliging  branch  of  the  community — and,  in 
support  of  his  opinion,  offered  to  bet  his  friends  £10  that 
he  would  drive  from  their  hotel  to  the  Rotunda  at  the  top 
of  Sackville  Street  and  back  without  any  such  importunity, 
one  of  the  party  to  accompany  him  as  a  guarantee  that 
nothing  ex  curia  was  said  to  Paddy  en  route.  Accordingly, 
an  outside  car  was  sent  for,  and  started  for  the  Rotunda, 
the  rest  of  the  party  awaiting  its  return  outside  the  hotel. 
Paddy  set  down  his  two  passengers  and  was  presented  with 
three  half-crowns,  being  more  than  three  times  his  fare.. 
He  turned  them  over  in  his  hand  and  then  said,  "  Och,  yer 
honor,  can't  you  jist  make  it  the  nate  half  sovereign  ?  " 

154.  Whist. 

I  was  rather  interested,  last  summer,  while  looking  over 
the  hand  of  a  septuagenarian  friend  of  mine,  a  member  of 
the  Portland  (since  deceased),  and  one  of  our  most  excellent 
wThist:players,  in  listening  to  the  advice  which  from  time  to 
time  he  offered  a  young  man  who  was  his  partner,  and  who 
overrated  his  ability  as  a  whist-player.  My  friend  had 
evidently  formed  a  very  different  estimate  of  his  knowledge 
of  the  game,  and  consequently  was  led  to  tender  him  some 
useful  hints :  "  Never,  if  you  take  my  advice,  go  beyond  ten 
shilling  points,  and  at  this  rate  you  may  lose  £14  in  an 
hour ;  for,  through  a  long  course  of  whist-playing,  I  made  it 
a  rule,  as  far  as  I  could  adjust  it,  to  rise  when  I  had  lost  this 


363  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

sum.  Moreover,  I  was  satisfied,  under  sucli  circumstances, 
with  an  hour  at  the  game.  By  adhering  to  this  as  closely 
as  I  could  manage  to  do,  and  having  at  the  same  time  the 
satisfaction  of  sitting  down  at  my  Club  with  some  of  the 
best  players  in  London,  my  losses  have  Dever  averaged 
more  than  £60  to  £70  in  any  one  season,  nor  have  my  gains 
been  different.  Another  rule  I  acted  upon  was  this — and  I 
should  recommend  it  for  your  adoption — that,  if  I  lost  £14 
at  the  beginning  of  the  week,  no  inducement  would  make 
me  play  until  the  following  Monday.  In  this  way,  I  can 
confidently  assert  that  no  man  in  a  long  life  has  enjoyed 
greater  pleasure  in  his  rubber  than  I  have."  He  mentioned 
that  one  season  he  had  accompanied  a  young  friend  to  Wies 
baden,  and  afterward  to  Baden-Baden,  who  had  a  penchant 
for  play.  "  I  said  to  him,  '  Will  you  take  my  advice  ? '  He 
said  he  would.  '  Well,  then,  if  you  do  so,  you  may  make 
money ;  at  all  events,  you  won't  ruin  yourself.  Never  risk 
more  than  two  pounds  or  fifty  francs  in  one  night ;  when 
that  is  gone,  you  go  home  to  your  hotel.' '' 

Turning  to  me — I  had  a  book  in  my  hand  with  rather 
small  print — "  You  require  advice,  also,  which  I  heard  the 
late  Sir  Henry  Halford  give :  '  If  you  wish  to  preserve  your 
eyes,  never  read  by  candle-light  any  thing  smaller  than  the 
ace  of  clubs.' " 

155.  Sydney  Smith  and  the  Hishop  of  ^London  (Dr.  JMom- 
field). 

It  was  always  suspected  that  a  sly  passage  of  arms  was 
constantly  going  on  between  the  Canon  and  his  diocesan. 
His  lordship  being  asked  by  one  of  his  clergy  connected 
with  St.  Paul's  for  leave  of  absence  for  a  few  months  on 
urgent  private  business,  the  Bishop  said,  "  I  have  no  objec 
tion  whatever,  provided  Sydney  Smith  will  allow  me." 

The  Bishop  had  accepted  an  invitation  to  dinner  at  a 
house  where  Sydney  Smith  was  also  to  be  present.  The 


PARLIAMENTARY  CORRUPTION.         369 

non-arrival  of  his  lordship  delayed  the  dinner,  when  at  last 
a  note  reached  the  host  to  say  that  the  Bishop,  as  he  was 
entering  London  House,  had  been  bitten  by  a  dog,  so  that 
he  must  be  excused.  The  note  was  read  to  the  assembled 
guests,  when  the  Dean  remarked  that  he  should  much  like 
to  hear  the  dog's  account  of  the  affair. 

When  the  question  of  putting  down  wooden  pavement 
around  St.  Paul's  was  first  mooted,  the  Bishop  summoned 
the  authorities  of  the  Cathedral  to  meet  him.  Sydney  Smith 
arrived  early,  but  when  some  little  impatience  was  expressed 
at  the  non-arrival  of  the  prelate  and  other  dignitaries,  the 
witty  Dean  remarked  that,  as  the  question  of  blockheads 
had  to  be  discussed,  they  had  no  other  course  left  them 
than  to  wait. 

The  late  Lord  Lansdowne  used  to  declare  that  Sydney 
Smith  was  essential  to  his  existence;  but  whether  the 
reverend  Canon  stood  in  a  similar  important  relation  to  his 
diocesan,  I  am  not  informed. 

156.  Parliamentary  Corruption. 

The  following  anecdote  should  be  told  only  after  the 
close  of  a  general  election,  not  before;  but,  as  we  hope 
shortly  to  enter  the  millennium  of  purity  in  such  matters, 
my  relating  it  will  now  be  innocuous. 

The  late  Mr.  ,  the  eminent  solicitor,  contended, 

speaking  of  parliamentary  corruption,  that  nothing  was 
easier  to  carry  out,  if  common  prudence  were  only  ob 
served.  He  described  a  case  where  he  was  professionally 
employed  to  administer  a  solatium  of  £2,000  to  an  impor 
tant  election  agent.  He  was  desired  to  be  looking  in  at  a 
print-shop  window  in  the  Strand  precisely  at  twelve  o'clock, 
when  a  party  behind  would  tap  him  on  the  shoulder,  and 
repeat  a  line  of  Shakespeare;  that  at  five  minutes  past 
twelve  he  would  receive  another  tap,  and  have  a  second 


370  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

line  from  the  same  illustrious  author  repeated  in  his  ear ; 
that  a  further  interval  of  five  minutes  would  ensue — his 
watch  to  be  consulted — when  the  immortal  Shakespeare, 
already  made  a  particeps  criminis,  was  again  to  be  a  sub 
sidiary — "  to  what  vile  uses  do  we  come  at  last " — and  a 
third  line  from  his  divine  page  administered  with  the  indis 
pensable  tap  on  the  shoulder.  "  Then  to  some  foul  cor 
rupting  hand,  their  craving  lusts  with  fatal  bounty  feed, 
they  fall  a  willing,  undefended  prize." 

After  this,  the  learned  gentleman  handed  from  his 
pocket  to  his  poetical  but  mythical  friend  behind  a  packet 
containing  the  bank-notes.  When  the  disputed  election 
came  to  be  investigated  before  a  parliamentary  committee, 
he  was  able  to  swear  that  the  person  produced  was  one 
whom  he  had  never  seen  in  his  life. 

157.  A  Channel  of  Promotion  open  to  Question. 

My  father  used  to  joke  an  excellent  and  religious 
woman,  my  grandaunt,  for  the  manner  in  which  she  ob 
tained  a  step  of  well-merited  promotion  in  the  Navy  for  a 
brave  young  officer  who  shortly  afterward  married. her 
niece. 

The  lieutenant  had  come  to  London  to  pass  a  few 
weeks,  after  years  of  varied  and  most  distinguished  service 
afloat.  On  the  Saturday  she  said  to  the  lieutenant,  "You 
must  not  go  to  Windsor  to-morrow,  as  you  intended,  but 
accompany  us  to  church,  as  we  have  a  friend  to  whom  we 
give  a  seat  in  our  pew,  who  generally  lunches  with  us  after 
ward,  and  whom  we  particularly  wish  you  should  know." 

The  visit  to  Windsor  Castle  was  postponed,  and  Lieu 
tenant  Pringle  Stoddart,  R.  N.,  went  to  church  with  his 
friends.  After  service  he  had  given  his  arm  to  my  mother, 
and  was  walking  close  behind  my  two  relatives  and  their 
friend,  when  he  was  called  to  the  front,  and,  to  his  enor- 


PROMOTION   OPEN   TO  QUESTION.  371 

mous  surprise,  was  introduced  to  Lord  Barbara,  the  First 
Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  who  succeeded  the  first  Viscount 
Melville  in  1705.  "  The  better  day  the  better  deed,"  for 
the  first  Lord,  after  lunch,  desired  the  lieutenant  to  come  to 
him  next  day  at  the  Admiralty,  and  a  commander's  com 
mission  followed  in  due  course. 

It  has  often  puzzled  me  why  the  cheap  honors  of  the 
Crown  are  scattered  with  so  sparing  a  hand  to  the  brave 
men  of  the  two  gallant  professions. 

As  Admiral  Pringle  Stoddart,  who  was  as  modest  as  he 
was  brave,  has  been  dead  for  more  than  twenty  years,  I 
quote  him  as  an  instance,  and  I  say  it  is  inexplicable  to  me 
that  such  a  man,  after  so  brilliant  a  career,  should  pass 
away  without  the  C.  B.  even  attaching  to  his  name. 

He  was,  no  doubt,  but  one  of  many  other  brave  men 
similarly  overlooked,  but  few  can  boast  of  seeing  so  much 
service  as  Stoddart. 

It  may  appear  somewhat  inconsistent  and  singular  that 
my  worthy  relation  did  not  apprise  her  dear  young  friend 
Pringle  Stoddart,  in  whom  she  took  so  deep  an  interest, 
that  he  was  to  meet  in  her  pew  at  church  the  First  Lord 
of  the  Admiralty.  Her  explanation  on  this  point  when  I 
first  heard  the  circumstance  was  quite  conclusive — that  she 
acted  for  the  best — although  she  may  have  laid  herself  open 
to  the  charge  my  father  brought  against  her  of  something 
bordering  on  spiritual  jobbery.  The  reason  she  assigned 
for  her  reticence  was  this:  that  the  young  sailor,  who, 
although  he  had  "  dared  the  battle  and  the  breeze "  for 
years,  and  had  spilt  his  blood  on  more  occasions  than  one, 
was  of  so  diffident  and  retiring  a  disposition,  that,  had  she 
prepared  him  for  sitting  alongside  the  great  official  who  then 
presided  at  the  Admiralty,  one  of  two  things  must  have 
resulted — either  that  he  would  have  carried  out  his  first 
intention  of  spending  the  day  at  Windsor,  or  have  had  his 
mind  so  distracted,  never  having  been  before  in  proximity 


372  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

to  the  man  who  stood  at  the  helm  of  naval  affairs  in  White 
hall,  that  one  of  the  famous  Dr.  Newton's  evangelical  dis 
courses  w^ould  have  been  entirely  lost  upon  him. 

Those  of  my  readers  who  may  read  the  subjoined  note 
must  agree  with  me  that  Rear-Admiral  Pringle  Stoddart 
should  not  have  passed  to  the  tomb  undecorated  by  his 
sovereign.1 

158.   A  Son  of  Mars  taking  Office. 

This  explanation  reminds  me  of  a  case  somewhat  analo 
gous,  where  a  son  of  Mars,  not  of  Neptune,  showed  great 
perturbation  of  mind,  although  he  had  twice  shed  his  blood 

1  Pringle  Stoddart  entered  the  Navy  in  1783,  and  the  same  year  was 
in  Sir  Edward  Hughes's  action  with  Admiral  de  Suffrein.  As  a  lieu 
tenant  in  the  Russian  Navy — a  service  in  which  British  officers  were  at 
that  period  allowed  to  enter — he  was  present,  in  1788-9,  in  two  actions 
with  the  Turkish  fleet,  and  in  a  desperate  battle,  fought  July  9,  1790, 
between  the  Russians  and  the  Swedes.  On  the  first  and  last  occasions 
Stoddart  was  wounded.  On  returning  to  the  British  Navy,  after  a  variety 
of  service,  he  next  joined  the  "Valiant,"  one  of  Lord  Howe's  fleet,  in  the 
action  of  June  1,  1794.  He  also  shared  in  Lord  Bridport's  rencontre 
with  the  French  fleet  in  1795.  In  the  "  Tremendous  "  he  witnessed  the 
capture  of  the  Dutch  squadron  in  Saldanha  Bay,  August  17,  1796.  In 
the  "  Trusty  "  he  accompanied  the  expedition  to  the  Helder,  in  1799 ; 
and  in  the  "  Kent"  assisted  in  1801  in  expelling  the  French  from  Egypt, 
where  he  received  the  "  most  unequivocal  praise  of  Sir  Ralph  Aber- 
cromby  "  for  his  exertions  while  serving  with  the  Army  on  the  memora 
ble  8th  of  March,  and  was  highly  commended  by  Sir  Sidney  Smith  for  his 
zealous  and  gallant  conduct  in  the  battles  of  the  15th  and  21st.  In 
acknowledgment  of  his  efforts  during  the  campaign  he  was  presented 
with  a  gold  medal  by  the  Turkish  Government.  As  a  commander  in  the 
"Cruizer"he  took  on  January  6  and  26,  1807,  "Le  Jena"  and  "  Le 
Brave,"  privateers  of  sixteen  guns  each.  He  was  in  the  attack  upon 
Copenhagen,  and  received  the  praise  of  Admiral  Gambier  for  the  bravery 
and  energy  he  displayed  in  a  long  and  heavy  contest  with  a  powerful 
flotilla.  He  subsequently  distinguished  himself  on  the  coast  of  Norway 
in  the  capture  of  two  Danish  privateers,  etc.  He  was  advanced  to  his 
flac  rank  in  1841. 


A   SON   OF   MARS  TAKING   OFFICE.  373 

on  the  battle-field.  A  public  establishment  in  the  City  of 
London  which  had  just  been  formed,  and  has  since  attained 
a  position  of  great  eminence,  required  a  secretary,  and  my 
ex-military  friend,  who  had  retired  from  the  Army,  having,  in 
early  life,  been  brought  up  in  one  of  our  great  similar  Scotch 
establishments,  had  his  name  and  qualifications  submitted 
by  my  brother  to  his  co-directors.  His  testimonials  being 
approved,  he  had  merely  to  go  through  the  simple  form  of 
being  introduced  to  the  directors.  That  day,  at  twelve 
o'clock,  he  was  to  meet  them  for  the  first  time  in  their 
board-room.  My  brother  had  taken  him  there  some  half- 
hour  previously,  to  show  him  where  he  would  sit.  It 
seemed  that  the  twelve  empty  chairs  frightened  the  embryo 
secretary  as  much  as  "  when  spirits  walk,  and  ghosts  break 
up  their  graves,"  for,  at  twelve  o'clock,  to  my  brother's 
utter  dismay,  no  secretary  appeared  to  be  presented  to  the 
Court  of  Directors. 

Their  newly-appointed  official  entered  no  appearance 
that  day.  My  brother  was  puzzled  beyond  measure,  so  was 
•  I.  Hours  rolled  on,  and  the  dinner-hour  came.  No  Prime 
Minister  had  ever  defended  a  colleague  who  got  himself 
into  a  mess  more  earnestly  than  my  brother  did  the  new 
secretary.  However,  the  bottom  of  the  Thames  was  not 
required  to  be  dragged,  nor  Shooter's  Hill  to  be  searched, 
for  the  absentee,  whose  disappearance  had  caused  so  much 
anxiety,  as  he  was  again  present  in  the  flesh  at  our  dinner- 
table. 

My  brother,  addressing  him  seriously,  asked  him  what 
it  all  meant.  "  Well,"  he  said,  "  to  be  perfectly  candid, 
when  I  saw  those  formidable  chairs  in  the  board-room,  and 
reflected  that  each  was  to  be  occupied  by  a  director,  who 
would  all  fire  a  shot  into  me,  I  knew  I  could  not  stand  it." 
"  Then,"  said  my  brother,  "  why  did  you  not  tell  me  this?" 
"  I  did  not  like  to  do  so."  "  What  became  of  you,  as  we 
searched  and  inquired  far  and  near  for  you  ?  "  "  Well,  I 


374  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

walked  right  away  into  the  country,  knowing  that  I  could 
explain 'matters  to  you."  "What  part  of  the  country?" 
"  The  place  I  got  into  was  Hackney  Kirk-yard,  and  I  spent 
the  day  reading  the  inscriptions  on  the  tombstones." 
"  Well,"  said  my  brother,  "  I  thought  you  were  entombed 
somewhere ;  but  surely  you  did  not  gain  your  spurs  as  a 
Knight  of  the  Tower  and  Sword  of  Portugal  and  of  San 
Fernando  of  Spain  "  (both  of  which  he  was)  "  by  seeking 
refuge  in  a  church-yard  when  you  were  wanted  ?  " 

We  had  a  hearty  laugh,  and  next  day  he  commenced 
his  secretarial  duties  without  any  formal  introduction  to  the 
directors  or  to  their  chairs,  and  very  efficiently  discharged 
those  duties  for  the  next  twenty  years. 

159.  St.  Petersburg. 

As  a  school-boy  I  had  read  "  The  Travels  of  Dr.  Clarke," 
who  declares  that  "  the  united  magnificence  of  all  the  cities 
of  Europe  can  but  equal  St.  Petersburg."  I  never  forgot 
this  passage  in  his  works,  for  I  immediately  set  down  in 
my  memoria  technica  "  City  of  the  Czar,  and  said  to  my 
self,  D.  V.,  I  must  see  the  modern  and  ancient  capitals  of 
the  Russian  Empire. 

The  first  thing  that  puzzles  one  in  going  up  the  Neva 
by  steamboat  from  Cronstadt  is,  why  Peter  the  Great 
founded  his  city  on  a  low,  marshy  island ;  and,  as  I  knew 
that  this  most  remarkable  man  in  all  he  did  had  some  great 
object  in  view,  I  felt  anxious  to  have«the  reason  of  this  fact 
explained.  He  had  conquered  the  spot  from  the  Swedes, 
and  he  required  a  fortified  sea-port  to  keep  them  in  check 
at  the  mouth  of  the  Neva,  as  he  at  once  saw  that,  through 
this  channel,  he  was  to  establish,  uphold,  and  develop  the 
resources  of  his  empire,  and  thus  connect  himself  with 
civilized  Europe.  The  first  great  attraction  I  met  with, 
even  before  landing  from  the  steamer,  was  one  of  the  pas 
sengers  calling  my  attention  to  a  remarkably  handsome 


ST.   PETERSBURG.  375 

man  looking  over  the  granite  quay,  from  among  the  hoi 
polloi,  at  the  passengers  landing.  My  astonishment  was 
unbounded  when  I  was  informed  that  it  was  the  Emperor 
Nicholas.  There  was  no  cheering  or  any  demonstration 
whatever.  He  was  there  simply  as  a  private  citizen.  With 
in  a  week,  I  witnessed  His  Majesty  in  another  capacity- 
commanding  a  division  of  his  army,  amounting  to  45,000 
men,  in  a  sham-fight  against  one  of  his  marshals,  who  com 
manded  a  moiety  of  the  force.  Englishmen,  especially 
travellers,  in  Russia,  meet  with  so  much  courtesy  and  at 
tention,  that  during  the  battle,  which  lasted  from  eight  or 
nine  in  the  morning  until  three  in  the  afternoon,  I  had  my 
self  moved  from  one  mound  to  another  of  the  field — 
Zarskoje-Selo — so  that  every  movement  and  evolution  of 
the  troops  could  be  watched.  I  recollect  being  told  I  was 
about  to  see  something  I  should  not  meet  with  at  Worm 
wood  Scrubs,  namely,  a  charge  of  10,000  cavalry.  The 
Emperor  was  defeated,  after  wThich  there  was  a  muster  of 
marshals,  generals,  and  staff,  in  the  centre  of  whom,  mounted 
on  a  magnificent  charger,  was  his  Imperial  Majesty.  At 
that  moment  I  thought  the  two  handsomest  men  I  had  ever 
seen  were  the  Emperor  Nicholas  and  the  late  Sir  William 
Maxwell,  of  Monreith,  M.  P.  for  Wigtonshire,  who  lost  his 
arm  at  the  battle  of  Corunna.  One  of  the  novelties  of  that 
day  was  seeing  the  evolutions  in  a  supposed  battle  of 
3,000  Cossacks.  I  had  now  to  devote  every  day  I  could 
command  to  the  inspection  of  palaces,  churches,  bazaars, 
universities,  and  academies ;  institutions  for  army,  navy, 
and  gymnastics ;  an  Oriental  institution  here,  a  mining 
academy  there  ;  female  schools  and  foundling  hospitals ; 
collections  of  all  sorts,  zoological  and  antiquarian  ;  imperial 
and  other  libraries,  cabinets  of  coins,  etc. 

No  man,  since  Peter  the  Great  laid  the  first  stone  or 
pile  of  his  future  beautiful  city,  in  1703,  was  ever  a  better 


376  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY  YEARS. 

customer  to  the  drosky-driver  than  I  was.  I  was  also 
fortunate  in  securing  the  services  of  a  countryman  of  my 
own,  of  the  name  of  Sharp,  as  a  valet-de-place,  in  calling 
to  my  attention  every  thing  that  was  interesting.  The 
day  was  fixed  for  my  long  land  journey  to  Moscow — no 
railway  at  that  time  existed — when  Sharp  told  me  I  should 
be  obliged  to  attend  at  one  of  the  public  departments  re 
specting  my  passport.  I  was  introduced  to  a  very  gentle 
manly  young  man,  who  asked  me  my  object  in  visiting 
Russia,  and,  finding  that  the  Imperial  Government  had 
nothing  to  apprehend,  he  said  he  would  see  that  instruc 
tions  were  transmitted  to  Moscow  to  facilitate  my  seeing 
the  "  lions  "  there,  etc.,  all  of  which  was  fully  realized.  He 
had  made  himself  so  agreeable,  and  gave  me  so  much  valu 
able  information  during  our  interview,  that  I  ventured  to 
make  one  remark  before  leaving,  which  was,  that  I  had  had 
that  day  in  our  agreeable  and  lengthened  conversation  an 
opportunity  of  judging  for  myself  of  the  extreme  facility 
with  which  Russian  gentlemen  acquired  a  foreign  language, 
as  I  had  never  heard  the  English  language  more  beauti 
fully  or  purely  spoken.  He  thanked  me  for  what  I  had 
stated  of  his  proficiency  as  an  English  linguist,  and  then, 
laughing  very  heartily,  told  me  he  was  an  Englishman.  I 
presume  I  was  in  a  star-chamber  of  some  sort,  to  have  a 
crucial  test  applied  to  me  before  I  was  permitted  to  com 
mence  my  six  hundred  miles'  journey  to  Moscow. 

160.   The  Semational. 

My  brother  was  a  great  collector  of  autographs,  and  I 
have  never  been  able  to  satisfy  myself  what  has  become  of 
his  collection.  The  tocsin  had  been  sounded  inside  the  House 
of  Commons  by  Mr.  Robert  Wallace,  M.  P.  for  Greenock, 
and  outside  by  Mr.  Rowland  Hill,  that  there  must  ere  long 
be  a  penny  postage,  when,  of  course,  the  privilege  of  frank- 


THE   SENSATIONAL.  377 

ing  would  cease  and  determine.  In  consequence,  my  brother, 
seeing  that  the  days  for  franks  were  now  numbered,  wrote 
a  note  to  the  Right  Hon.  Mr.  Stewart  Mackenzie,  M.  P.,  then 
a  member  of  the  India  Board,  accompanied  by  a  formidable 
packet  of  two  dozen  covers,  each  containing  a  sheet  of  paper, 
so  as  to  be  within  the  prescribed  weight,  and  begging  his 
Right  Hon.  friend  to  use  his  own  time  in  obtaining  the  franks 
of  statesmen  who  were  or  had  been  Cabinet  Ministers.  To 
have  the  verification  of  the  post-office  the  franks  were  to  be 
addressed  to  our  residence  in  Scotland.  One  day,  in  the 
parliamentary  committee-rooms,  Mr.  Stewart  Mackenzie  ran 
against  the  Duke  of  Wellington  and  other  great  statesmen, 
for  he  posted  in  the  evening  eight  letters  addressed  to  my 
brother  by  the  Duke,  Sir  Robert  Peel,  Mr.  Goulburn,  and 
others.  The  arrival  of  such  a  batch  of  letters,  and  super 
scribed  by  statesmen  so  eminent,  created  in  our  little  town 
of  Newtonstewart  an  immense  sensation,  and  during  the 
forenoon  the  privileged  classes  were  allowed  to  inspect 
them.  "  Whatever  can  Mr.  Boyd  be  aboot  f  There  must 
be  something  vera  important  on  hand,  to  hae  a?  those  great 
people  writing  him  and  a9  at  ae  time."  As  the  postmaster 
had  received  no  instructions  to  retain  the  letters,  they  were 
readdressed  to  my  brother  at  the  Exchange  Rooms  in  Lon 
don.  Well  do  I  recollect,  on  going  to  receive  our  letters, 
to  find  an  actual  crowed  of  the  members  of  our  Exchange 
round  the  letter-bar  inspecting  the  franks,  and  surmises  of 
all  kinds  being  floated  as  to  what  it  meant.  But  the  secret 
was  far  too  profound  to  be  divulged,  and  for  a  long  period 
my  brother's  friends  on  'Change  looked  anxiously  for  the 
public  affair  with  which  his  name  was  to  be  connected. 
The  other  franks  from  eminent  Whig  statesmen,  and  an 
occasional  one  from  a  conservative  ex-Cabinet  Minister, 
came  dropping  in  periodically;  thus  keeping  up  the  sen 
sational  interest — but  the  solution  of  the  conundrum  we 
kept  to  ourselves ;  and  I  think  we  were  wise  in  so  doing, 


378  REMINISCKNCKS   OK    FIFTY    YEARS. 

for  nothing  is  more  true  than  the  old  saying,  "  Omne  igno- 
tuinpro  mirifico" 

161.    George  IV.  on  the  Field  of  Waterloo. 

I  was  accompanying  my  father  over  the  field  of  Water 
loo,  when  our  guide,  an  old  British  soldier  who  had  been 
in  the  battle,  stopped  us  rather  abruptly  at  what  I  should 
say  was  the  northeast  corner  of  Hougomont.  "  Here,  sirs, 
his  the  werry  spot  vere  Is  Majesty  King  George  IV.  said 
the  werry  cleverest  thing  that  vas  hever  said  afore  hor  since 
by  hany  king,  hi  doesn't  care  a  morsel  vere  ye  picks  im. 
Veil,  sirs,  ven  King  George  vas  hon  is  journey  to  'Annover, 
he  pay  Waterloo  a  wisit,  hand  vas  haccompanied  by  Is 
Royal  Ighness  the  Duke  o'  Clarence  hand  Is  Grace  the 
Duke  o'  Wellington.  Just  hon  this  ere  spot  the  Duke  o' 
Wellington's  oss  slipped  hup  hon  the  dry  tuff  hand  a 
throwed  the  Duke.  Is  Majesty  vas  for  ha  moment  hafeared, 
so  vas  the  Duke  o'  Clarence ;  but  the  Duke  o'  Wellington 
vas  hon  is  feet  hin  ha  moment,  hall  right.  Ven  the  King 
sees  that,  he  says  to  is  brother :  '  Veil,  Clarence,  ve  can 
say  vat  tothers  can't,  that  ve  seed  Wellington  a  floored  hat 
Waterloo.' " 

103.  Fra  (from)  Bor-doax,  in  France,  to  Lisbon,  in 
Porten-gale  (Portugal),  or  the  Difference  between  Writing 
and  Pronunciation. 

I  recollect,  many  years  ago,  being  introduced  to  a  mer 
chant  at  Liverpool,  a  countryman  of  mine,  and  a  member 
of  a  very  important  firm,  who,  although  he  had  been  an 
absentee  from  the  "  land  o'  cakes  "  for  half  a  century,  re 
tained  his  Scotch  in  as  genuine  purity  as  on  the  day  he  left 
it.  There  was  one  staple  anecdote  in  reference  to  a  long 
walk  he  had  been  compelled  to  take  in  early  life,  which  a 
witty  member  of  the  Club  had  trotted  him  out  upon  for 


A   USEFUL  BOOK.  379 

many  years,  without  his  ever  suspecting  that  it  was  so.  If 
there  was  a  stranger  who  had  never  heard  the  anecdote, 
and  every  one  wished  to  hear  it,  the  process  was  very 
simple,  by  a  slight  previous  arrangement.  "  Ah,  how  do 
you  do  ?  Where  were  you  yesterday  ?  "  "  Why,  taking  a 
confoundedly  long  walk  of  nearly  twenty  miles,  from  which 
I  have  scarcely  yet  recovered."  "  You  must  not  call  that  a 
long  walk  before  my  friend  here ;  he  can  tell  you  of  some 
thing  like  a  walk."  "  Weel,  it's  vera  true,  it  wus  (was)  the 
langest  walk  I  ever  had,  and  it  wus  in  a  deevil  o'  a  hurry, 
too."  "  Pray,  where  was  it  ?  "  "  It  wus  frae  Bor-doax,  in 
France,  to  Lisbon,  in  Porten-gale."  "  What  induced  you  to 
take  so  long  a  walk  ?  "  "Ye  wud  hae  dune  the  same  yersel 
(jin  ye  had  had  a  parcel  o'  French  bag-gonets  aliint  ye/} 

163.  A  Useful  Book. 

I  had  made  an  appointment  with  the  late  Mr.  Clason,  a 
Writer  to  His  Majesty's  Signet,  to  be  with  him  the  following 
forenoon,  at  eleven,  in  Queen  Street,  Edinburgh,  on  a  mat 
ter  of  business.  On  my  arrival  at  his  house  at  the  hour 
fixed,  the  weather  being  Scottice,  "raal  soft"  Anglice, 
"  raining  in  torrents,"  I  found  my  learned  friend  unable  to 
attend  to  me  for  the  next  two  hours.  In  giving  me  the 
newspaper,  he  at  the  same  time  handed  to  me  a  very  dirty- 
looking  volume — awfully  thumbed — telling  me  when  I  had 
finished  with  the  former  I  should  find  the  latter,  notwith 
standing  its  uninviting  external  appearance,  amusing  and 
interesting.  I  soon  discovered  this  description  to  be  ex 
tremely  meagre,  for  I  had  only  read  a  few  pages  when  my 
attention  became  absorbed — I  may  say  riveted — so  much 
so,  that  Mr.  Clason  and  the  affair  that  brought  me  from 
London  to  consult  him  upon  were — to  use  a  term  not  un- 
frequently  heard  at  Epsom  and  Ascot — "  nowhere."  It  was 
the  history,  of  a  delinquent  clergyman  of  the  Kirk  of  Scot- 


380  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

land  who  had  fought  and  defended  himself  for  years  against 
his  presbytery,  as  well  as  in  the  Scotch  courts,  without  his 
clerical  superiors  being  able  to  remove  him  from  his  parish. 
I  believe  the  litigation  only  closed  with  the  man's  death, 
but  as  I  am  without  the  advantage  of  possessing  the  volume, 
and  Mr.  Clason  not  being  alive,  I  cannot  speak  with  cer 
tainty  as  to  this. 

At  the  end  of  an  hour  my  friend,  whose  humorous  face 
I  think  I  have  now  before  me,  looked  in  at  the  door,  and 
said,  "  How  do  you  get  on  ?  "  "  Oh,  pray,  don't  hurry  your 
self;  I  cannot  lay  this  book  down  at  present."  "How  far 
have  you  got  in  it  ? "  "  Quite  far  enough  to  satisfy  me 
that  before  I  finish  it  I  shall  find  the  reverend  gentleman 
had  broken  all  the  commandments  that  came  to  us  from 
Mount  Sinai."  "  Not  exactly,"  said  my  learned  friend,  "  for 
he  avoided  the  committal  of  murder." 

We  had  a  hearty  laugh  at  lunch  over  the  contents  of 
the  volume,  which  Mr.  Clason  confessed  to  me  was  the  most 
valuable  work  in  his  library,  inasmuch  as  no  cooling  draught 
administered  to  a  feverish  patient  by  his  medical  adviser 
was  ever  more  efficacious  in  mitigating  and  assuaging  the 
impatience  of  a  waiting  client. 

164.    The  Weather  in  Scotland  is  a  Delicate  Subject  for  a 
Visitor  to  criticise  with  a  Native. 

"  Well,  John,  this  is  a  very  wet  day."  "  No  ava  (not 
at  all),  sir,"  replied  John,  rather  sternly.  "  It's  a  wee  saft 
(somewhat  moist),  but  it's  no  a  wat  day.  Haley,  sir,  it 
provoks  me  at  times  to  hear  the  remarks  o'  some  o'  the 
Englishers.  I  recollect  an  English  leddy  who  cam  here  a 
few  years  syne  (since),  and  she  wrot  to  her  friens  that  she 
had -been  a  week  in  Scoteland,  and  had  never  seen  a  dry 
day  nor  a  smiling  face,  and  would  remain  nae  langer.  Noo, 
sir,  you  maun  (must)  admit  it's  vera  wrang  for  any  wooman, 


THE   WEATHER  IN  SCOTLAND.  381 

leddy  or  no  leddy,  to  write  in  that  mainer  aboot  ony  kintra, 
mair  speeciallie  Scoteland,  the  kintra  aboon  a*  ithers  (above 
all  others)  that  every  ane  o'  them,  gentle  or  simple  (high 
or  low),  be  they  English  or  American,  ay,  or  French  or 
Spanish — the  bonnie  Empress  o'  the  French  o'  the  num 
ber — are  sae  proud  to  brag  o'  (boast  of),  for  gin  (if)  they 
hae  a  drop  o'  Scotia's  bluid  in  their  veins,  they're  shure  to 
tell  you  c?t  (of  it),  let  them  alane  for  that ;  and  then  to  talk 
o'  the  wather  (weather)  as  if  Providence  didna  (did  not) 
ken  (know)  hoo  (how)  to  regulate  the  elements.  Na,  na, 
I'm  no  the  man  to  say  that  Scotch  folks  haena  their  fauts 
(have  not  their  faults)  as  weel  as  English,  but  I  will  say 
this,  they  get  awsomely  (terribly)  spoilt  and  contaminated 
after  they  gang  amang  the  Southrons  (among  the  English) ; 
they  are  a'  recht  eneuch  (all  right  enough)  while  they're  at 
hame.  Ma  faither  ance  wus  sairly  tried  w?  his  ain  brother 
in  the  Wast  Indies  as  to  the  mainer  in  which  he  received 
ma  brither  oot  there,  for  it  showed  raal  clear  hoo  Scotch 
men  get  altered  from  what  they  wur  afore  they  left  their 
ain  chimla-lug  (fireside).  Ma  faither  said  to  ma  brither, 
4  Willie,  there's  naething  for  you,  my  dear  lad,  to  do  at 
hame ;  you'd  better  gang  oot  to  your  uncle  in  the  Wast 
Indies,'  which  Willie  vera  properly  at  ance  said  he  waud 
do,  or  ony  thing  else,  puir  fallow,  his  faither  wished  o'  him. 
Accordingly,  ma  faither  fitted  oot  Willie,  and  ma  mither 
pack't  his  kist  (box)  fu  (full)  o'  sarks  (shirts)  and  nice  claes 
(good  clothes),  and  sent  him  ower  the  sea  to  Liverpool,  and  got 
a  frien  there  to  tak  a  passage  for  him  in  a  ship  for  the  Wast 
Indies,  to  the  place  whar  his  uncle  wus.  N~oo,  the  fact  is, 
ma  uncle  had  become  a  great  man  oot  there,  although  when 
he  first  went  to  a  distant  land,  I  hae  hard  ma  faither  often 
say,  he  wus  onnly  a  bit  o'  a  dark  or  an  owerseer  to  the 
blaiks  (blacks).  Weel,  on  his  landing  frae  the  ship  he 
gaed  strecht  (went  straight)  to  his  uncle,  wha  (who)  re- 
calved  him  vera  cauldly,  which  wus  eneuch  to  dumfoonder 


382  REMINISCENCES   OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

ony  puir  lad.  '  Who  are  you  ? '  said  his  uncle.  *  I'm  y  ur 
ain  broker's  son,  sir,  and  of  a  consequence  yure  nevy' — a 
vera  discreet  and  proper  answer  for  ma  brither  to  maJc. 
'Hoo  (how)  am  I  to  know  that?'  and  he  said  it  in  a  vera 
angry  tone  o'  voice.  Wasn't  it  eneuch  (enough)  to  brak 
doon  ony  lad's  speerit  ?  '  Where's  your  letter  o'  introduc 
tion  to  me  ? '  said  his  uncle.  '  Ma  faither,  sir,  didna  think 
there  wus  ony  need  for  me  to  bring  a  bit  o'  a  note  to  you.' 
'  The  deuce  he  didn't ! '  wus  the  answer  ma  brither  got  to 
this.  '  Hoo  (how)  am  I  to  ken  (know)  that  you  are  not  a 
young  scamp?'  Wasn't  that  an  awfu  remark  to  drap 
frae  his  lips  ?  But  ma  brither's  bluid  wus  a  wee  up  at 
tliis,  and  he  said — for  he  tellt  me  the  hale  (whole)  story  in 
his  letter — '  Oh,  sir,  I  was  always  vera  respectable,  and  I 
never  gied  mafriens  (gave  my  friends)  ony  trouble  or  vex 
ation  except  that  they  cou'dna  fin  (could  not  find)  ony 
employment  for  me  aboot  the  farm,  which  is  the  cause  o' 
ma  coming  oot  to  the  Wast  Indies.'  His  uncle  then  lookit 
him  recht  through  and  a'  oicer,  and  tellt  him  he  cou'd  see 
nae  family  likeness,  to  which  ma  brither  doucdy  (prudently) 
made  answer — for  he  wus  always  a  vera  respectfu  lad,  wi* 
(with)  nice  mainers  o*  his  ain — 'I  assure  you,  sir,  yur  ain 
brither  is  ma  faither.'  To  this  his  uncle  vera  unkindly  re 
marked,  '  I  fear  a  strange  bull  then  must  hae  strayed  into 
the  pastures,  as  ma  brither  could  never  be  sae  fool-like  a 
man  as  to  send  a  son  o'  his  oot  to  the  Wast  Indies  without 
a  letter  o'  introduction.'  'But  he  did  sae,  I  assure  you,  sir, 
and  I'm  speaking  naething  but  the  trowth-?  t  Weel,'  said 
ma  uncle,  who  aifter  a?  wus  a  vera  guid-h&lrted  man,  '  I 
thocht,  when  I  left  Scoteland,  there  was  mair  (more)  com 
mon-sense  in  ma  family  there  than  appears  to  be  the  case.' 
That  remark,  when  ma  faither  read  it  in  ma  brither's  letter, 
stuck  into  him  awfu.  He  then  took  anither  awsom  keen 
glowr  (look)  at  Willie,  and  then  handed  him  a  bit  piece  o' 
papor  and  a  quill  (a  pen),  at  the  same  time  pushing  the 


COLONEL   J.   A.   FAIIQUHARSOX.  383 

inkstand  afore  him,  '  as  he  wished,'  he  said,  '  to  see  what 
kind  #'  hand  o'  write  his  was.'  Weel,  when  he  saw  it,  he 
tellt  Willie  it  was  a  confoondedly  bad  stick ;  but  ma  brither, 
who  had  been  sairly  tried  that  day  by  his  uncle,  never  ance 
lost  himsel  the  least  in  his  replies,  for  he  wus  a  shrewd 
ticoatch  callan  (lad,  boy),  and  but  for  that  he  would  hae 
been  druven  (driven)  distrackit  (distracted) ;  he  juist  met 
it  candidly  by  telling  his  uncle  that  he  had  been  waur 
(worse)  at  the  writing  at  school  than  ony  thing  else,  and 
that  it  wus  a  la-mentable  fact.  Hooever,  ma  uncle  began 
at  last  to  take  to  ma  brither,  and  behaved  vera  cleverly 
(very  kindly)  to  him,  and  vera  soon,  by  my  faith,  made  a 
man  o'  him.  Ma  faither,  aifter  being  weel  blawn  (blown) 
up  by  his  brither,  began  to  be  o'  opinion  that  it  would  hae 
been  the  better  coorse  to  hae  gien  (have  given)  Willie  a 
bit  o'  a  line  o'  introduction  at  first  to  his  uncle,  but  ma 
faither  never  liJcet  to  be  thocht  wrang,  and  nae  Scotchman 
does,  for  it's  unco  (very)  seldom  they  are  wrang." 

165.    Colonel  James  Alexander  Farquharson,  of  the 
25th  (Borderers). 

"Jemmy  Farquharson,"  as  he  was  known  in  the  ser 
vice,  was  a  choice  specimen  of  the  fine  old  soldier.  He 
possessed  those  attributes  which  endeared  him  to  his 
officers  and  gained  him  the  respect  and  confidence  of  his 
men.  He  was  imbued  in  an  eminent  degree  with  strong 
common-sense — a  combination  of  firmness  and  decision,  of 
kindness  and  impartiality.  Like  Admiral  Pakenham  of  the 
end  of  the  last  century,  Jemmy  had  not  studied  the  parlia 
mentary  language  of  the  present  day,  and  w~as  at  times 
somewhat  foul-mouthed ;  nevertheless  he  had  the  gift  of 
being  able  "  to  win  the  soldier's  heart,"  and  they,  in  return, 
were  proud  of  their  captain  and  loved  him. 

My  gallant  and  esteemed   friend,   Colonel  Paschal,  a 


384  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS 

survivor  of  the  Peninsula  and  Waterloo,  had  served  under 
Farquh arson  ia  the  Borderers,  and  has  made  me  laugh 
heartily  in  his  recital  of  some  of  his  memorabilia  of  my 
countrymen.  On  one  occasion  the  master-tailor  of  the 
regiment  was  brought  up  for  misappropriating  five-und- 
twenty  shell  jackets,  and  the  charge  being  proved  he  was 
sentenced  to  be  reduced,  with  an  addition  of  150  lashes. 
Before  the  latter  part  of  the  sentence  wras  carried  out  he 
ordered  all  the  tailors  in  the  regiment  to  be  paraded,  and 
then  addressed  them :  "  I  have  always  been  given  to  un 
derstand  that  it  took  nine  tailors  to  make  a  man,  but  I  can 
safely  say  that  every  tailor  in  this  regiment  gives  me  more 
trouble  than  any  nine  men. — Drum-major,  make  those 
drummers  do  their  duty ! "  The  colonel  was  ever  ready 
with  an  answer,  always  appropriate,  and  generally  accom 
panied  with  some  of  the  spice  of  Theodore  Hook.  One  of 
the  captains  had  arranged  with  a  young  officer  to  assist 
him  in  keeping  the  companies'  accounts ;  he  wrote  a  beau 
tiful  hand,  but  so  small  that  he  could  put  on  one  side  of  a 
sheet  of  paper  as  much  as  would  have  fairly  filled  four. 
The  general  (Gordon  Forbes)  was  making  one  of  his  half- 
yearly  inspections,  and  in  looking  over  the  accounts,  was 
puzzled  with  the  quantity  of  matter  crammed  into  so  small 
a  space,  and  asked  the  colonel  the  meaning  of  it,  saying, 
"  There  is  no  fault  to  be  found  in  the  manner  this  ledger  is 
kept ;  it  is  like  copper-plate ;  but  why  crowd  so  much  in 
so  small  a  space?"  "Economy,  general,  economy;  we 
are  a  Scotch  regiment." 

A  Roman  Catholic  soldier  had  given  the  regiment  a 
great  deal  of  trouble  by  deserting ;  the  colonel  sent  for  the 
man  :  the  sentence  of  corporal  punishment,  it  was  thought, 
was  about  to  take  place  ;  but  he  had  made  up  his  mind  to 
remit  it.  He  questioned  the  culprit  as  to  what  was  his 
religion ;  to  which  he  replied,  "  I  ought,  sor,  to  be  of  the 
Roman  Catholic."  "  So  I  would  have  sworn. — Sergeant- 


COLONEL   J.   A.   FARQUHARSON.  385 

major,  fetch  me  that  little  cross  I  have  had  made  for  the 
purpose  of  trying  to  make  men  of  that  creed  true  to  their 
colors."  The  Sergeant-major  returned  with  the  cross,  a 
very  large  black  one.  He  now  desired  the  culprit  to  go 
down  on  his  knees  and  hold  up  the  cross ;  and  then  pro 
nounced  the  oath,  which  the  delinquent  had  to  repeat  word 
by  word,  which  was  to  the  effect  that,  if  he  ever  again  com 
mitted  a  like  offence,  he  hoped  to  suffer  the  flames  and  hor 
rors  of  a  certain  region  to  an  extent "  worse  than  fables  yet 
have  feigned  or  fear  conceived."  The  gallant  colonel  is 
said  to  have  told  him,  if  not  in  the  precise  words  of  Dry- 
den,  at  least  in  substance,  what  he  would  suffer  elsewhere 
— "  Eternal  torments,  baths  of  boiling  sulphur,  vicissitudes 
of  fires,"  etc.  In  dismissing  the  man,  he  added,  "  But  I 
have  something  more  still  to  tell  you,  which  is,  that  if  you 
desert  again,  may  I  be  hanged  if  I  should  like  to  stand  in 
your  shoes." 

Upon  another  occasion,  on  the  general  inspecting  ask 
ing  the  men  if  they  had  any  thing  to  complain  of,  one  of 
them  stepped  out  and  made  a  charge  against  his  colonel, 
which,  being  investigated,  proved  to  be  groundless.  Some 
time  afterward  this  man  was  sentenced  for  drunkenness,  or 
some  other  offence,  to  fifty  or  one  hundred  lashes,  and  was 
brought  up  to  the  triangles,  but  Farquharson  said,  "  Take 
him  down,"  and,  addressing  the  prisoner,  "  You  know  why 
I  don't  punish  you." 

The  25th  and  the  42d  Highlanders  were  in  Dublin  to 
gether,  and,  at  the  relief  of  guards,  an  officer  of  the  25th  was 
expatiating  to  the  Highland  officer,  in  the  hearing  of  the  men 
of  both  corps,  that  his  colonel  (Farquharson)  was  the  stin 
giest  man  in  the  British  Army ;  that  even  the  uniform  coat 
he  wore  had  been  turned.  One  of  the  men,  who  heard  this 
and  was  annoyed,  told  Farquharson,  and  at  the  next  parade 
he  addressed  the  regiment,  formed  in  square  for  the  pur- ' 
pose  and  faced  inward,  officers  in  front:  "I  understand 


386  REMINISCENCES  OF  FIFTY   YEARS. 

there  is  an  officer  in  my  regiment  who  knows  my  domestic 
arrangements  so  intimately  as  to  be  able  to  inform  you  that 
I  have  even  had  my  uniform  coat  turned,  which  is  quite 
true,  and  (holding  up  his  arm)  an  excellent  turn  it  makes ; 
but  it  is  far  from  candid — indeed,  it  is  very  unfair — that  this 
officer,  who  studies  my  domestic  economy  so  minutely, 
should  not  have  told  you,  while  discussing  the  subject  of 
my  old  coat  with  you,  that  I  had  just  received  a  spick  and 
span  new  coat  from  Buckmaster,  which  I  have  never  yet 
had  on."  The  officer  who  had  been  so  communicative  re 
garding  his  colonel's  parsimony  dropped  his  sword  and 
came  up  to  Farquharson,  who  at  once  met  him.  "  Fall  in, 
Mr.  K. ;  I  have  mentioned  no  names."  Farquharson  was 
in  the  West  Indies  when  the  governorship  of  the  Island 
of  Trinidad  suddenly  became  vacant,  and  being  the  senior 
officer  at  the  time  in  command  of  the  troops,  immediately 
left  the  island  he  was  at  for  Trinidad,  to  take  upon  himself 
the  duties  of  Governor  pro  tern.  On  his  arrival  he  was 
surprised  to  find  that  Sir  Charles  Smith,  of  the  Engineers, 
had  assumed  this  position,  and  refused  to  acknowledge 
Farquharson's  right  to  supersede  him.  However,  the 
claimant  for  the  vice-royalty  of  His  Majesty's  Island  of 
Trinidad  was  the  last  man  in  the  British  Army  to  tolerate 
for  an  instant  a  glaring  case  of  usurpation.  He  demanded 
formally  his  colonial  crown  from  Smith,  who,  after — we 
must  assume — consulting  the  attorney-general  and  the 
other  .authorities  of  the  island,  yielded,  telling  Colonel  Far 
quharson  that  he  would  complain  to  the  Colonial  Office. 
"So  shall  I,"  said  Jemmy.  On  the  affair  being  finally 
closed,  Farquharson  wrote  an  amusing  letter,  which  my 
friend  Colonel  Paschal  saw,  to  Bob  Terry,  a  captain  in  the 
Borderers,  giving  a  graphic  account  of  the  proceedings, 
in  which  he  explained  that  Sir  Charles  Smith  had  deprived 
him  of  the  command  the  precise  number  of  days  that  Jonah 
was  in  the  whale's  belly. 


THE   OATLANDS   PARK   HOTEL.  387 

In  reply  to  Farquharson's  letter,  the  Colonial  Secretary 
wrote :  "  You,  as  the  senior  officer  in  the  command,  were 
right  in  assuming  the  government  of  Trinidad ;  "  and  then 
Farquharson  writes,  in  continuation  to  Terry,  "  and  I  leave 
you  to  guess  what  the  knight  got." 

166.    The  Meets   outside,   and  the  Meats   inside,  the 
Oatlands  Park  Hotel. 

A  laughable  scene  was  witnessed  at  Oatlands — where 
I  wrote  my  first  anecdote,  and  now  write  this  (I  hope  not) 
my  last — at  the  beginning  of  the  present  hunting-season. 

'  A  smart  four-in-hand  drove  up,  and  its  owner  was  met 
at  the  portico  of  this  most  delightful  of  all  English  country 
hotels  by  a  German  waiter,  who  was  asked,  "  What  meets 
have  you  in  this  neighborhood  ?  "  "  Vat  meats,  mi  Lor  ; 
vy  Jcalt  roast  beef,  mi  Lor,  Jcalt  roast  lamb,  halt  shicJcen 
vith  am,  und  Jcalt  tongue."  Roars  of  laughter  from  the  out 
side  and  inside  passengers  of  the  drag.  "  My  good  fellow, 
I  mean  meets."  "  Yase,  mi  Lor,  hi  knows  you  does."  At 
this  juncture,  the  head-waiter,  himself  a  wag,  arrived  on 
the  scene ;  having  got  a  hint  from  one  of  his  colleagues  as 
to  what  was  passing,  and  believing  that  a  rehearsal  would 
not  be"  unpalatable — as  several  of  the  hotel  visitors  had 
already  reached  the  portico — looked  gravely  at  the  poor 
disconcerted  German,  and  asked  for  an  explanation.  "  Vy, 
Robert,  I  did  tell  mi  Lor  that  ve  ad  Jcalt  roast  beef — " 
going  through  the  list  to  his  chef  de  salon  most  carefully, 
amid  peals  of  laughter.  After  this,  Robert  explained  the 
meets  outside  the  hotel;  but  the  German  had  been  so 
lucid  to  the  dragsmen  that  they  resolved  to  become  at  once 
acquainted  with  the  meats  inside,  leaving  those  outside 
for  another  day. 


APPENDIX. 


As  I  HOPE  that  my  "Reminiscences"  may  nu-et  with  readers 
in  both  Australia  and  New  Zealand,  though  I  am  no  longer  per 
sonally  interested  in  either  colony,  beyond  entertaining  a  sincere 
desire  for  their  continued  prosperity  and  rapid  development,  I 
trust  I  shall  be  allowed  to  say  something  beyond  what  has 
appeared  in  my  Dedication,  without  incurring  the  charge  of 
egotism. 

To  the  generation  that  has  sprung  up  since  the  period  to 
which  I  refer,  I  can  state  as  a  fact  that  I  devoted  much  time  and 
money  to  the  practical  advancement  of  the  cause  of  emigration, 
in  the  hope  of  promoting  the  best  interests  of  Australia,  the  fifth 
quarter  of  the  globe.  Now  that  the  question  of  emigration  has 
become  so  prominent,  for  we  find  the  leading  members  of  succes 
sive  administrations  viewing  it  with  a  far  deeper  interest  than  I 
ever  previously  recollect,  I  can  look  with  satisfaction  to  the  evi 
dence  I  hold  that  the  share  which  I  took  in  furtherance  of  Aus- 
trulian  emigration  was  not  wholly  in  vain.  I  devoted  my  labors 
to  that  point,  because  I  knew  the  vital  importance  of  diverting 
to  our  own  colonies  some  portion  of  the  stream  which  was  then 
flowing,  exclusively  or  nearly  so,  in  the  direction  of  the  Great 
Republic  of  the  West.  I  may,  perhaps,  be  further  excused  if  I 
allude  with  a  feeling  of  pride  to  the  large  proportions  assumed 
to  our  Australian  movement  in  the  inauguration  of  which  I  took 
so  great  a  share.  I  have  now  before  me  the  letter  of  a  very  able 
man,  Mr.  J.  A.  Jackson,  formerly  Colonial  Secretary  in  South 
Australia,  who  thus  addressed  me  after  perusing  a  pamphlet 
which  I  wrote  in  connection  with  our  public  efforts  on  behalf  of 


APPENDIX.  389 

Australian  affairs  in  London  and  throughout  the  United  King 
dom  : 

"  Paris,  February  16, 1864. 

"My  DEAR  ME.  BOTD — I  have  read  through  your  pamphlet, 
which,  while  it  reaches  many  of  the  details  of  your  services,  was 
not  necessary  to  remind  me  of  what  I  have  often  felt  pleasure  in 
testifying  to — your  great,  untiring,  and  well-directed  exertions 
on  behalf  of  Australian  interests. 

"  To  the  mass  of  people,  however,  the  pamphlet  would  be 
indispensable  to  give  them  any  idea  of  the  part  you  played  ten 
years  ago :  but  no  pamphlet  can  make  the  generality  of  people 
understand  the  amount  of  patient  labor  and  the  tact  required  to 
set  in  motion  that  outward  agitation  which  admits  of  being  nar 
rated  in  the  public  prints. 

11 1  am,  my  dear  Mr.  Boyd, 

"  Very  faithfully  yours, 

"  J.  A.  JACKSON. 

"  M.  BOYD,  Esq., 
"Merton  Hall,  Newton  Stewart,  N.  B." 

I  was  no  less  gratified  by  the  expressed  opinion  of  the  Hon. 
Francis  Scott  (M.  P.  for  Eoxburghshire,  and  afterward  for  Ber 
wickshire),  who  labored  unceasingly  during  a  series  of  years  to 
advance  Australian  interests,  the  honorable  member  being  at  that 
time  the  recognized  organ  of  the  colony  in  the  House  of  Com 
mons.  In  writing  to  me  on  June  6,  1857,  he  thus  expresses  him 
self,  and  the  pleasure  of  his  communication  was  greatly  enhanced 
by  the  manner  in  which  he  recognizes  the  efforts  of  one  who  had 
passed  away  five  years  previously : 

"I  have  no  hesitation  in  saying  that  many,  indeed  most,  of 
the  measures  adopted  by  the  Government  for  the  promotion  of 
the  material  interests  of  the  colony,  as  regards  the  disposition  of 
land  and  supply  and  employment  of  labor,  had  either  been  sug 
gested  in  the  first  instance,  or  powerfully  urged  upon  the  Gov 
ernment  by  your  brother  and  those  who  took  the  same  view  of 
advancing  the  prosperity  of  the  colony ;  and  that  those  measures 
were  in  no  small  degree  promoted  by  your  exertions  in  this  coun 
try,  the  fact,  therefore,  being  that  Government  adopted  the 
measures  recommended,  and  that  those  measures  proved  benefi 
cial  to  the  colony,  is  no  small  evidence  of  the  foresight  of  the 


390  APPENDIX. 

original  promoters.  I  am  likewise  of  opinion  that  no  small  por 
tion  of  the  disasters  which  overtook  the  colonies  during  the  period 
referred  to,  was  owing  to  the  delay  of  the  Government  in  adopt 
ing  those  measures." 

It  may,  perhaps,  appear  by  writing  this  statement,  which  I 
only  wish  my  colonial  friends  to  peruse,  that  (to  use  the  word 
recently  coined  by  a  distinguished  writer)  I  have  reached  my 
"anec-dotage,"  but  the  fact  is,  I  suffered  some  chagrin  a  few 
years  since,  by  others  endeavoring  to  appropriate  to  themselves 
merits  to  which  they  were  scarcely  entitled,  for  having  kept  Aus 
tralian  questions  alive  in  this  country.  As  Mr.  Disraeli  once 
felicitously  observed  of  the  Whigs:  "They  caught  us  bathing,  and 
ran  away  with  our  clothes."  I  felt  then  called  upon  to  defend 
our  position,  and  with  the  following  extract  I  close  the  subject, 
and  hope  my  readers  have  found  something  more  interesting  in 
my  "Reminiscences"  than  in  my  "Appendix." 

It  may  appear  somewhat  out  of  place  to  bring  forward  the 
following  extract  from  Francis's  "  Chronicles  and  Characters  of 
'Change ;  "  but  considering  myself  called  upon  to  give  an  outline 
of  the  nature  and  extent  of  the  efforts  made  by  my  late  brother 
and  myself  to  promote  Australian  interests,  I  am  entitled  to  pro 
duce  any  testimony  in  my  possession  to  prove  that  in  what  we 
did,  in  conjunction  with  others,  the  welfare  of  all  classes  of  the 
Australian  community  was  strictly  and  conscientiously  in  view. 
The  author,  in  allusion  to  emigration  and  to  my  brother,  says : 

"  The  efforts  of  Mr.  Benjamin  Boyd  will  form  an  important 
chapter  in  some  future  history  of  our  Australian  colonies,  as 
from  his  determined  energy  an  impulse  has  been  given  to  emi 
gration  which  no  future  official  supineness  can  eradicate,"  etc. 

I  also  extract  from  a  review  of  Mr.  Francis's  work  the  fol 
lowing: 

"Preceding  gazettes  will  show  the  interest  we  have  taken  in 
this  important  movement"  (emigration),  "with  which  the  name 
of  the  lion.  Francis  Scott  must  ever  be  associated,  and  also  the 
labors  of  Mr.  Boyd's  brothers  and  friends  in  England,  whose  un 
flagging  zeal  contributed  so  much  to  the  formation  of  the  Coloni 
zation  Society  and  the  commencement  of  the  colonization  crusade 
now  in  progress." 

THE  END. 


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14  DAY  USE 

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"DEC    ( '68  -3  P 


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B65A3 

Reminisce 
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mces  of  fif 

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